The NBA is back boyz…and my banker is happier than Brett Farve winning a $100 shopping spree at CVS Pharmacy. Besides investing on the professionals action tonight, I also really want to play the Spartans as the Badgers will travel to the house that Izzo, Steve Smith, Shawn Respert, & Mo Pete built (screw Mateen and his large azz-chompers!), but I don’t know if I have the balls to bet against a guy named Alando. I have a feeling that Wisconsin may be looking ahead to their tilt with the Buckeyes on Sunday, but it’s soo hard to put my church money on a team led by the short skinny white Drew “Derek Ravio” Neitzel. Oh well, maybe by the end of my pointless banter today I’ll have changed my mind…but who cares, there’s NBA action tonight and it’s M*tha F*ckin frat-tastic!
MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES (+3) @ WASHINGTON WIZARDS
As I called my fellow degenerate this morning and informed him I really like the T-Wolves (you can call him Iceman), he reminded me that a couple weeks ago I said that if Garnett and the boyz didn’t cover I would not endorse them again. While I remember them losing straight-up, I also remember my grandpa telling me that you can never trust a degenerate…and being a complete degenerate myself, I’m betting on them again. Since Jamison went down with an injury, the Wizards are 2-4 with their only two wins coming against the 76ers and Sonics, and currently have one of the weakest frontcourts in the league (Haywood, Ruffin, Songalia, & Blatche). KG should be unstoppable against those guys and the 7-foot Mark Blount has been awesome of late (last 4 games: 23 ppg, 7 reb, 3 wins). In addition, Randy Foye has replaced Mike “no-defense” James in the starting line-up and may actually hold his own against Agent 0. While I know it’s hard to invest on the T-Wolves, KG seemed determined at the All-Star break to let everybody know they’re going to make a big-time run in the second half…Wolves by 2-8 points
DETROIT PISTOBS (-4.5) @ MILWAUKEE BUCKS
The Bucks lost to the m*tha f*ckin Celtics last week! The spread opened at 6 this morning, but news that Michael Redd may suit-up has dropped the line. To tell you the truth…I hope he does play, because anytime your leading scorer comes back everybody whose been casting (Mo Williams, Charlie Bell, etc.) has to change their style, not to mention Earl “I love to dribble” Boykins has never played with Mr. Redd. As for the Pistons, they’re coming off a nice azz-kicking from the Spurs at home and should be licking their chops to be playing the defenseless Bucks…Maybe Milwaukee should think about signing Joumana Kidd to toughen them up…Pistons by 7-13 points.
NEW ORLEANS HORNETS (-1.5) @ CHARLOTTE BOBCATS
The Hornets are fighting for dear life for the final playoff spot in the West, while the Bobcats season is merely a question of where they will finish for the lottery. I love betting against teams after the All-Star break that are really just playing for the hell of it. I also favor the match-ups of: Chris Paul over Raymond Felton, David West & Tyson Chandler over Emeka Okafor (Okafor has been great, but has no help in the frontcourt), and most importantly, Byron Scott over Bernie Bickerstaffenheimer…Hornets by 4-10 points
LSU TIGERS @ KENTUCKY WILDCATS (-7.5)
After a nice stretch in the middle of the season, Tubby Smith’s 18-8 crew has lost 3 in-a-row to some unbelievably tough competition (Florida by 3, @ Tenn by 4, and @ Bama). Besides the fact that Ashley Judd will be in attendance distracting a young LSU squad, Kentucky is desperate for a win and definitely needs a few more to guarantee a trip to the Big Dance. As for the Tigers, they’ve lost 8 of 9 and are not as desperate since they won’t return to defend last year’s final four birth…and it shows as they’ve mailed it in faster than my cheap-azz sending in $10 rebate on my new Hibachi Grill (Gilbert Arenas model). In addition, Glen “Big Overrated Baby” Davis will not play tonight, which completely changes the offensive game-plan for LSU (18 ppg 11 rpg.)…Ashley Judd will look hot and Kentucky by 10-16 points
G. GAMBLE’S HOOP TOTALS- NBA 78-59 ATS ; NCAA 48-43 ATS