While I woke-up to my girl hollerin’ at me to start her car and scrape the snow off, I could’ve been irate since it’s frickin’ April or even because the Sox blew a late lead in the 9th…but after last night’s hardwood investments, she could’ve shaved my eye-brows and I’d still be a happy man. Yours truly was a hook away from pulling a 5-0 evening, (3-1 on my own, 1-0 with Larry the Legend’s Ova/Unda Special) and I found out I was the 3rd guard taken in the YMCA supplemental Draft for this Spring (My game has been compared to a combination of Ben Gordon’s without the jumpshot and Brevin Knight's without the court vision). No time to waste though, we’ve only got a few nights left of the late-season NBA gifts and the lines seem to be shifting by the minute. Oh yeah, and my Homeboy Larry did some late-night research (ova/unda on the # of substances in his body when I got his email at 11:45 last night?), and he’s hotter than a M*tha F*ckin Tea-Kettle. Don’t be fooled by his 1-1 record with Insideplays.com, just like my azz trying to get lucky after too much Whiskey…I’m a little slow to jump-on when I’m supposed to. His theory has been hittin’ something like 75% over the last two weeks. Game-on BEEATCHES and make sure to tell your loved-ones not to worry about fixing dinner tonight…cause WE GOIN’ SIZZLER, WE GOIN’ SIZZLER!
ORLANDO MAGIC (+6) @ DETROIT PISTONS
I’m riding the Magic like a pornstar with Tommy Lee’s thunderstick until they clinch a playoff spot. With the season on the line, Grant Hill’s crew of improving youngsters have won their last two contests by over 24 and have used a deep bench to keep the backend cover from biting my azz. As for the Pistons, Coach Flip announced he’ll be resting Rasheed and C-Webb’s injuries as much as possible, as well as, reducing the minutes for Tayshaun, Chauncey, & Rip. You know what that means…if Orlando gets any type of momentum going into halftime this could be a blow-out by the start of the 3rd quarter. I luv the Magic bench, I luv short-shorts on DePaul students walking on Sheffield, and I luv taking money from the man…Magic by 2-8 points
INDIANA PACERS (-4) @ MILWAUKEE BUCKS
Before you think I’m crazy for bettin’ the Pacers after basically destroying their playoff lives in a loss to the 76ers, I want you to understand how embarrassed Reggie Miller’s ole squad sounded and looked after last night’s loss. I mean the two overpaid white dudes who were supposed to save Larry Bird’s season (Dunleavy & Murphy) shot 1-8 from behind the arc, Danny Granger was a remarkable 2-17 from the field, and even Mr. O’Neal shot like shiznit to keep the team’s overall FG% under 33%. So why am I playing them tonight you ask? If the Pacers had a few days off I wouldn’t even think about playing them, but with the humiliation fresh in their minds and having the opportunity to bounce back against the team former known as the Bucks…I think they come out smoking. If Jermaine laces them up tonight, the Bucks have absolutely no answer down-low and should be pounded for the 11th time in 12 games…Pacers by 7-13 points
SEATTLE AVERAGESONICS @ PHOENIX SUNS (-14)
While the Sonics played Houston tough at home Monday with Luke Ridenour & Jesus Shuttlesworth already out for the year, things got even worse as they lost point guard Earl Watson to an ankle injury. This now leaves journeyman Mike Wilks as the only point guard to chase Steve Nash and Leandro Barbosa, while the Sonics slow (Nick Collison) and lazy (Chris Wilcox) frontcourt will be in-charge of chasing Amare & the Matrix. As for the Suns, don’t expect them to take it easy tonight as the Spurs are creeping-up behind them and Coach D seems to be feeling they need to find the rhythm they had earlier in the year…Suns by 17-23 points
THE LARRY OVA/UNDA SPECIAL (1-1 ATS) !!!
PHILADELPHIA 76ERS @ BOSTON CELTICS (Over 183)
Just like last night between the Hawks and Celtics, I don’t care if you’ve never seen anybody that is going to be on the floor tonight for either team. Neither team is going to be playing any defense, checking the shot-clock, or looking to the sideline for assistance. In a game like this, it doesn’t matter how many shots they miss…it’s just matters how many they take!...76ers/Celtics total points 190-196
BTW…This next pick is not a Greg Gamble special and will only be played if I win my early games…and because I have a problem:
HOUSTON ROCKETS (-6) @ PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS
With the Jazz’s (the Rockets probable 1st round match-up) recent free-fall, Houston has tied them in the standings and looks determined to capture home-court in round 1. While the Rockets pushed the other night in Seattle, it was great to see Van Gundy run his regular rotation all night and continue to try to get T-Mac and Yao comfortable together. As for the Blazers, they have about 10 swingmen between the ages of 16-18, and started…are you ready for this…Jamaal “I don’t want to be here” Magloire and Raef “I didn’t know I was here” Lafrenz in the frontcourt the last two nights. I’ll be checking the Injury report all day to see if anything crazy comes-up with the Rockets, but if it doesn’t…I’ll take the team with two superstars fighting for playoff position…Rockets by 8-16 points