After last night’s perfect performance, I actually received a visit from a lil’ foreign woman with three nipples who offered me a 50/50 partnership in a Tarot Card & Palm reading establishment in my hood. While I was interested, it was more in regards to what dirty and naughty activity goes on after the drapes are pulled, the incense and ditch-weed is burning, and you notice the palm reader is wearing (not-wearing) a Britney Spears special down-below. Of course, I passed on the opportunity because it would’ve affected the millions of diehard Greg Gamble readers, but you can understand why the multi-nippled prognosticator was so persistent. I predicted a Nets win at The Garden by 8-14 points, and they won by 9. I envisioned a last second Celtic upset at the AARP Heat venue, and they won by a bucket. I forecasted the Grizzlies beating the Spurs and that my man Pau Gasol would pull-off a 30 and 10 night in possibly his last home-game in Memphis, and the Grizz proceeded to roll and the Spaniard ended with 25 and 15. And finally, I told ya Joey "Napoleon-Complex" Crawford would be suspended. Yes, I know I’m cooler than Burt Reynolds in Striptease, but as a professional I must wipe the slate clean and do it again tonight. Let’s roll boys…only two days left in Greggy G’s Tank’ology Madness!
ORLANDO MAGIC (-3) @ WASHINGTON WIZARDS
Have you watched the Wiz play since they lost Agent 0 & Carol Butler? They look like my old church league squad after we rolled-up to the court after bonging too much Jesus Juice! Not to mention, steady point guard Antonio Daniels is in the mist of back spasms and Donell “I think he had a twin-brother at UAB” Taylor is now running the show. As for the Magic, they actually can move ahead of the Wizards and avoid playing the Pistons in round 1 if they win their next two, and the free-falling Wiz piss-down their leg at Indiana tomorrow. In addition, the Magic had a nice wake-up call Sunday after almost blowing a 19-point 4th quarter lead against Boston. Unfortunately, I’m really struggling to understand why the line is so low tonight, but maybe I just need to except the fact that I’m smarter than Vegas!...Magic by 7-13 points
TORONTO RAPTORS (+8) @ DETROIT PISTONS
Both teams are locked into their spots and will be resting their stars most of the way. In a contest like this, it’s basically who has a better roster 7 thru 12. For the Pistons, they lost at home Sunday by double digits to the 76ers because the back end of their bench reminds me of the lunchtime performers at your favorite adult dance theater…weathered, a step-slow, and not very enthused. As for the Raptors, we’re talking about a bench that reminds me of how Spring Break girls act on their last night when they haven’t gotten any action…suckin’ in the freshman 15, aggressive, and willing to take plenty of chances. I’m putting my money on Juan Dixon, Jose Calderon, Mo Pete & Kris Humphries…the Spring Breakers baby, and would not recommend investing on Delfino, Maxiell, Dale Davis, Amir Johnson, & Flip Murray…the pole-performers that dance when the lunchtime buffet is rolled-out!...Raptors by 6-12 points
CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (-8.5) @ PHILADELPHIA 76ERS
Yes…I know the 76ers season has reminded us of Demi Moore’s appearance (average at best to start her career, but unexpectedly ridiculous as a MILF today), but Iggy is out tonight for the 76ers and the Cavs have to have this one if they want any chance to catch the Bulls. In addition, LeBron and his boys blew out the Hawks by 34 Saturday and have everybody healthy, while the 76ers were led in minutes by Willie Green, Louis Williams, & Bobby Jones in their last contest…Cavs by 12-18 points