I didn’t pay top-dollar for this expensive website to brag about myself, but…I went 3-0 last night you lil’ BEEATCHES!!! What a night, the Bulls come-out smokin’ like Randy Moss at 4:20 and showed the Chi-town faithful a passion that makes it hard to not to luv these fellas. From the Afroed Wonder’s defense on the block, to Noce and Sefolosha causing more havoc than Pac Man with too many dolla bills, the Bulls are developing right before our eyes. And how about the other side, I almost had as much enjoyment watchin’ coach LA Looks stare at the floor wondering how he can get out of coaching the AARP Heat next year and Shaq Diesel lookin’ bewildered as he struggled to get up and down the hardwood. Throw in $2 drafts of Fat Tire chased with a Newport Light, another White Sox comeback victory, and Lou Pinella getting crazier by the minute as he begins to understand what being a Cub is really all about…Oh yeah, did I tell ya my sweet-azz went undefeated last night too! Just another day in the life of a self-proclaimed legend…Let’s do it again tonight, I think my Golden St. Warrior Zubuz deserve a night on the town!
DENVER NUGGETS @ SAN ANTONIO SPURS (UNDA 194)
Just like the temptation of touching things you shouldn’t in the champagne room, I’m gonna try my hardest not to play the Spurs tonight and just stick with the UNDA. Everybody knows the Spurs always lose game 1 in the 1st round and then precede to beeatch-slap their opponent like a domestic squabble at the Kidd household. To make this happen, Pops knows he can’t get into a track meet with Carmelo & A.I. and has to make it tough for them to get any easy buckets. As for the Nuggets defense, even though they have more holes than Cliff Floyd’s swing, the Spurs are going to milk the shot-clock on each possession before Timmy D is at the free throw line or Manu slashes to the cup. These two teams combined for 184 in the first contest, and my guess is they’ll be close to that again tonight…Nuggets/Spurs total points 180-186
GOLDEN ST WARRIORS @ DALLAS MAVERICKS (UNDA 210)
Even as a diehard Mitch Richmond fan and Warriors loyalist, I can’t see Nellie’s boyz having the same type of success tonight. Expect Avery to switch back to his bigger line-up, and just like Popovich, he'll also slow the game down and force Dirk Diggler to plant his azz in the post. In addition, Baron Davis was filthy in game 1 and I have a feeling he may be a little over confident tonight…I’m expecting at least 8 jacks from downtown and twice as many turnovers as he had Sunday. Not to mention, these two only combined for 182 points last time…and you know what that means, we Goin’ Sizzler, we goin’ Sizzler…Warriors/Mavs total points 190-196 points
WASHINGTON WIZARDS @ CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (OVA 186)
Trust me, the Wiz read Insideplays and are well aware that Greggy G has the Cavs headin’ to the finals. They’ve realized their fate has been sealed by the NBA guru and can only use this game for contract and entertainment purposes. Because of this, I expect them to come out looser than the hotties sittin’ first row at the United Center last night, and to actually put together a few good scoring runs. With that said, Antawn Jamison and Jarvis Hayes both have to guard somebody and I haven’t seen them do that all year. As for the Cavs, they looked great defensively in Game 1 with some playoff fire, but they too realize this series is more of a formality so I expect this to resemble more of a regular season contest tonight. And you know what that means, both teams will put-up about as much of a defensive fight as the Tri-Delts used to after drinking too much jungle juice!...Wizards/Cavs total points 192-198