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May 2007 Archives

May 1, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 12-6 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

It’s amazing the different emotions you’ll find between fans and players. As I marked yet another “W” in my lil’ yellow notepad after the Jazz held on to the 6 points they were gettin’, I responded to the victory with my normal celebration routine of 4 beer bongs, 4 Skoal Bandits (Kiwi-Mango Flavor) and 44 push-ups. To the contrary, I was shocked to observe Boozer react as if he didn’t realize they had just covered on the road. I don’t know what type of pressure Jerry Sloan is putting on these guys, but do you think Pete Rose tipped over the post-game buffet if the Reds were getting +1.5 runs and lost 3-2 to the Padres…I think not! I guess Carlos is a lil’ bit more of a perfectionist than yours truly, but maybe that’s why I was kicked off my Church League team back in the late 90s. Supposedly, the Lord our Savior wasn’t too happy I held the ball at the top of the key for the final 3 minutes of the 1997 Religious Roundball Championship as we got close to the OVA/UNA total…Are you kidding me, no way I was going to give my Garbage Kid money to those nuns!

But enough about how I’m a WICKED-STALLER FROM BEHIND THE ARC, my Warriors are on the brink of one of the coolest upset stories in Playoff history, the Chicago-Media is panicking because the Bears 1st round pick likes to rap about demoralizing women, and I’ve almost completed my flawless breakdown of the Bulls/Pistons series. Just like my friend Ice Cube would say…I GOT TO SAY IT WAS A GOOD DAY! Let’s roll Homeboys!

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May 2, 2007

Greggy G's Bulls/Pistons Scouting Report


CHAUNCEY BILLUPS vs BEN GORDON
The Bulls will give Chauncey plenty of different looks (Duhon, Hinrich, etc) and must keep his open locks off the pick ‘n roll to a minimum. Some experts have talked about Hinrich as the main Billups defender, but I’m sure Captain Kirk will spend most of his time chasing Richard Hamilton thru screens and Gordon will be matched-up with the Pistons floor general and team leader. While Gordon may have the sweetest jumper in the league when he’s hot, Billups owns the nickname “Mr. Big-Shot” and thrives taking smaller guards into the post. Even though the former Huskie has greatly improved his defensive ability throughout the season, Ben can struggle when forced to defend in the post. At the offensive end, we’ll probably see RIP switch-over and try to use his length to disrupt Ben’s open looks, but in reality, if Ben’s got a rhythm there’s not much you can do to stop him. The biggest worry for Skiles is that Hamilton will definitely make him work much harder at the offensive end than Miami did, and that may caused Ben to lose focus on the defensive side. Overall, Gordon’s success at the defensive end will determine if the Bulls advance to the Conference Finals. While Chris Duhon gives Skiles some great defensive pressure off the bench, if Skiles is forced to use him more than 20 minutes per contest in Gordon’s place, the Bulls will struggle to win this series. ADVANTAGE: The better overall performance between these two may determine the series winner...and I'm thinking Baby Ben is going to stay smokin'!

RICHARD HAMILTON vs KIRK HINRICH
After drawing a match-up with Dwayne Wade in round one, it’s possible things may actually get tougher for the former Jayhawk in round 2. While D-Wade spent most of his time isolated at the top of the key against Kirk, RIP flies down the sideline and once in the half-court weaves in and out of screens looking to catch on the short-corner or free-throw line extended. After squaring to the bucket, RIP will either take a jab-step and raise-up or make a quick move into the paint for his bread n’ butter mid-range jumper. As I mentioned at nauseam this year, Hinrich doesn’t have a problem guarding super-quick swingmen if he’s not in foul trouble. If we see Kirk whining early and often in the 1st quarter, the Bulls will have to use Thabo Sefolosha on RIP, and while his length and overall defense ability is solid, what the Bulls lose in leadership at the offensive end will be too great. Hinrich had an up and down shooting performance against Miami, but he still managed to hit plenty of big shots or find the open shooters. ADVANTAGE: The edge definitely goes to RIP, but Hinrich is not as far behind as people think.

TAYSHAUN PRINCE vs LUOL DENG
This is a match-up the Bulls should be able to exploit. I’m a huge Prince fan and love his basketball IQ, but Deng is just as smart and has another gear to go with a dominating extended mid-range game. While Luol shot almost 60% against Miami as the series’s leading scorer and was disciplined enough to stay away from the 3-point line altogether, his cat-quick anticipation on the defensive end and ability to simply out slash his opponents on O had to be the most impressive part of his game. As for Prince, unless they leave him wide open to cast from the corners, I do not think he has the speed to put the ball on the floor to get past Deng or will have the energy to post-up after chasing him all over the hardwood. ADVANTAGE: ‘Cool’ Luol Deng has the upper hand, but needs to out-perform Prince more the RIP does to Kirk

C. WEBBER/A. MCDYESS VS P.J. BROWN/ NOCIONI
I have heard plenty of NBA aficionados state that Nocioni might not be as much of a factor in this series because he’ll have trouble with C-Webb on the block. While that might be true in a methodical half-court battle, the Bulls learned against Miami that their aggressive style could cause twice as much trouble for the opponent. My guess is Webber is not looking forward to banging with Noce or P.J. and I wouldn’t be surprised if we end-up seeing more Antonio McDyess. In all honesty, do you think Coach Flip Saunders or GM Joe Dumars are looking forward to watching those two defending the perimeter and chasing Noce on the fastbreak…I don’t think so. As for rebounding, the Bulls also seem to play bigger than their opponents since everybody on the court can rebound, and they even have Tyrus Thomas in their back-pocket for an emergency. ADVANTAGE: Once again, the Bulls will advance to the Conferemce finals if they can control the frontcourt spot alongside Big Ben.

THE BATTLE OF THE WALLACE (Sheed vs Big Ben)
While these two have complete opposite games, their passion and success can set the tone on a moments notice. While Rasheed’s ability to stretch the floor and take Ben away from the bucket will cause some interior problems for the Bulls, he’s really the only Piston that takes a few questionable shots each night. If he’s not lighting-it up from downtown, I think Ben will more than make up for it on the glass and on defense. The Afro-ed Wonder played his best basketball of the season against Miami and you know he’ll be even more hyped for his return to the Motor City. If this turns into an emotional battle between the two, I’ll take my chances with Ben Wallace’s temperment every time. ADVANTAGE: With Rasheed always in foul-trouble, it’s hard to give him an advantage when Ben will probably average 10 more minutes per contest.

PREDICTION: The Bulls have made believers out of me and I am confident the Pistons will struggle to keep up with the disciplined madness that has manifested over the past few weeks…BULLS IN SIX

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May 3, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 12-7 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

Trying to fall asleep last night was impossible, and not because of anything a put in my weathered and broken body. Just like the day before my first date with the senior Pom-Pom’s Captain (hell ya...I did!), I tossed and turned thinking about what the new day could bring. Back in High School it was daydreaming of her spirit fingers touching anything that wasn’t hers, while last night it was Baron’s beard, Stephen’s crazed-stare, Nellie’s mafia attire, and the Warrior faithful partyin’ like their at that Johnny Utah surfer-party in Point Break. I mean Jessica ‘frickin’ Alba was sitting court-side Homeboys! What can I say…the GST Zubaz are already on, my Everclear Jungle-Juice is already mixed, and my mini-nerf hoop has a new globetrotter net…its gameday baby! Oh yeah, and we also have the early contest with Williams & Boozer’s pick n’ roll verses T-Mac & Ming’s isolation show, which has my ATS mind more excited then when I learned I had a second date with Ms. Spirit Fingers! It’s time fellaz…Let’s put the women and midgets to bed and go lookin’ for some Kobe beef and caviar!

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May 4, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 13-7 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

While I’m not changin' my finals prediction of the Duncan’s vs the LeBron’s, I will daydream of 7-game series between Baron’s beard and Big Ben's fro playing for the NBA trophy. Speaking of the Warriors, how nice was that azz-kickin’ they gave Cuban’s boys. What made it even sweeter was watching it after winning on the Jazz/Rockets UNDA just a few minutes earlier. While I’ve never taken candy from a baby, I have stolen a cigarette from a drunken Ronnie Woo Woo and that wasn’t nearly as easy as my pick last night! Today we’ve got a similar scenario, just less banter from Mr. Gamble since I only rested my head on the pillow for 2 hours last night. Have a great weekend fellaz and check back for all the playoff picks and pics…DA BULLS!!!

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May 5, 2007

Saturday picks...Day of the Underdog?


I would tell you fools that today is the day of the Underdog if Insideplays.com really thought De La Pretty boy had a chance tonight, but thats not the case. Here are our short and sweet picks for all the action tonight.....

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May 6, 2007

Greg Gamble's Playoff Special: 13-8 ATS


Ouch!...my baby Bulls got spanked worse than Debbie in Dallas back in ’85. You’d think I’d be cryin’ in my PBR at the Clybar last night, but instead...I just won mad-dollars at Golden Tee against Homeboys that usually kick-my-azz and laced my pockets with Jazz money as they made T-Mac look silly. Got a run, takin’ the lil’ man to the zoo…Now that’s a SUNDAY FUNDAY!

NEW JERSEY NETS (+6) @ CLEVELAND CAVALIERS
Of course I know I picked the Cavs to play SA in the finals, but you have to think NJ has some momentum, while the LeBron’s haven’t had a true test in a month…NJ by 2-8 points

SAN ANTONIO SPURS (+4.5) @ PHOENIX SUNS
Greg Gamble Rule #172: If Timmy D is gettin’ points, make reservations at Sizzler!..Greggy G rule #172

May 7, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 15-8 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

I finished off the weekend with some ATS flare going undefeated on the hardwood and winning an OVA/UNDA bet at the Zoo with a cotton-candy vendor on the number of tree frogs in the Reptile House exhibit. Damn, those lil’ bastards are harder to find than a clear video of the R. Kelly escapades. While the Lincoln Park Zoo is free, with all the extra coin I had lying around the house I decided to pull an Oprah and donated to the habitat and improved lifestyle of the Rafer Alston’s, aka the Dwarf mongoose, and slept like a baby knowing Greggy G had made the world a better place. But enough about my philanthropies, the Bulls are desperate for a win in Mo-Town, Mike Piazza’s best friend is back in the Big Apple, and my Warriors will be battling the most underrated low-post technician in the game…no, not Jarron Collins, I’m talkin’ bout Carlos “I Luv Cleveland!” Boozer. While my heart says ride the Warriors train with the same passion Emmanuelle used to on Showtime late-night when I was a youngster, I have a feeling the Jazz are going to be ready for Nellie’s crazed-crew. Let’s keep the magic rollin’ fellaz and don’t forget to wish T-Mac well on his annual early spring break!

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May 8, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 16-8 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

Insideplays just sent a fruit & knee-brace basket to Al Harrington for blowin’ that lay-up as time expired givin’ us the extra special “Win by a Hook!” Not to mention, Mr. Harpring (aka Greggy G’s favorite white-baller) was cooler than MJ in Cabo knocking down two FTs with 7 seconds left. While some of you probably think I’m a bandwagon jumper who should be supremely disappointed by the baby Bulls getting waxed worse than T.T. Boy waxes a newcomer to the business, the only thing I lose sleep over is the dentist, flying squirrels, and picture'less books! Yeah, I thought Hinrich, Gordon, & Deng had turned the corner as a group, but what can I say… they look like a freshman Tri-Delt performing the Cow-Catcher for the first time. Do I think the Bulls have a chance to make this a series…No! Do I think the Bulls now have a better chance to sign someone like Pau Gasol in the off-season…Yes! But enough about the Bulls, they haven’t cost me any Mother’s Day presents since they went to Kid Rock’s hometown, so let’s just worry about the squads that continue to make us contact Real Estate agents in the Hamptons. BTW, I’ve doubled up since the playoffs have started…have you?

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May 9, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 16-10 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

I apologize to anybody that took my advice last night, but if it makes you feel any better I also took the same advice and might have to wait another week to send in my car payment. What a call by the MacGyver of the professional hardwood, Mike D'Antoni, who brilliantly had the Matrix shadow Tony “the luckiest man alive” Parker-Longoria and dusted off Kurt Thomas to bang with Timmy D. As for the Cavs, for the first time in his career I saw a killer-instinct and dominating glare in LeBron’s eye when he surveyed the court. He reminded me of Nomi in the spectacular drama ‘Showgirls’…nobody is going to stop him/her from getting to the top, nobody! In all honesty though, it’s not a good sign when your 34 year-old point guard has to dominate the glass for you to have a chance because your 7-footers (Mikki Moore and Jason Collins) total 4 rebounds and zero blocks in 69 minutes…can you frickin’ comprehend that! Just with the law of averages, the rock should accidentally hit their long-azz arms at least 10 times an hour. As for this evening, besides the real battle out West (Warriors/Jazz), my favorite fishmonger has a two for one special on Baby Dolphin and Piggly Wiggly has Schlitz Ice on clearance…but hopefully, after a victory tonight I won’t have to limit my grocery selections to the ones with a ‘Price-Smashing’ sticker! Take it light fellaz, but make sure to make the day count. (…found that lil’ bit of advice in my dessert treat from Ho-Ho Chop Suey last night!)

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May 10, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 17-10 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

Don’t look for me to apologize like Curt “I can’t stop opening my mouth” Shilling for my OT victory last night. I was like a ‘Clarett in a Goose store’ last night finishing my last piece of Totino’s pizza topped with baby dolphin and giardiniera as the former Illini guard hit a clutch pull-up to send it to an extra session. Just as I’ve been on the other end of games where OT burned me worse the Ronny Mexico burned a few ladies, I don’t remember the Vegas window ever apologizing for takin’ my airfare money in ‘97 and forcing me to panhandle all the way to New Mexico. Speaking of New Mexico, I marvel at the fact that they’re responsible for 3 of my favorites…Brian Urlacher, Demi Moore (just magical in Striptease), and Billy the Kid. And speaking of Mr. “I talk way to frickin’ fast” Urlacher, how cool is that he gets to put a notch next to his bed for both Paris Hilton and a convict! Sorry to ramble, but as you probably know I’m just a lil’ nervous about the Bulls/Pistons match-up tonight. I know Pax, Skiles, & Co. have showed us nothing to believe this is still a series, but don’t underestimate how confident the Bulls will look playing at home. All they need is win tonight and this is a series again…no matter what the so called hardwood gurus tell ya. Just listen to the true NBA maven and make sure to tell the ladies to: Call me Joey, call me Donny, call me Tony Parker so I can call ya Eva…BEEATCH!

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May 11, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 17-11 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

Ouch…what a way to ruin a sweet mood in the Windy City Thursday night. Was that really the same squad I saw last week? While I’ve always, and will continue to plead for Pau Gasol, Garnett, or any other big with a low-post game and two good knees, I too drank too much Paxson, Skiles, & Co. Kool-Aid and mistakenly thought an over-achieving group of role players could compete with a team stocked-full of legitimate NBA superstars. Just as a professional handicapper can’t drop dime from the heart, as I fan, my judgment was clouded by the quality characters and disciplined work-ethic of the Bulls youngsters. Unfortunately, just like my azz at the gym, no matter how many Fred Hoiberg pull-ups I hit on a 17-year old who smokes a pack a day, I’m still only going to make 3rd team all-YMCA. What made it worse last night was once again seeing the chickenshiznit expressions on their face! No matter how much they led by (16 at the half; 19 in the 3rd), you knew they were just waiting for Detroit to make their run. And was it just me, or did the Bulls actually get smaller and shrink as the game progressed?

Yeah…I haven’t been this depressed since they canceled “Saved by the Bell-College Years” after just a handful of shows, and it’s more because I let me myself believe…believe in a bunch of 3rd scoring options that are undersized. That’s like my Homeboy justifying losin’ his rich-girlfriend after cheating on her with fat, lop-sided, muskrat looking BIZNICH! I mean Ben Gordon is great shooter and all, but when your 6-foot nuttin’ and you can’t play defense or dribble it’s time to become a permanent spark-plug off the bench. Same think for Captain Kirk, a solid “over-paid” point guard who wastes too much energy guarding 6’6” swingmen and still hasn’t found a niche at the offensive end. I could go on, but I’ll end with a final dart for the coaching staff. While Skiles has garnered my support since he’s been here, why the hell was I watching an offense that actually put Ben Wallace in a position to have to make plays. STOP PASSING HIM THE BALL YOU FOOLS!!! Unfortunately, Big Ben is a 16+ million a year investment for a declining window cleaner and a shrinking defender. While I still luv the young pieces Johnny Pax has put together, until we get a dominate wing and a back-to-the-basket beast…we’re just spinning our frickin’ wheels! Thanks for lettin’ me vent Homeboys, and more importantly, let’s get our azzes back to the winner’s circle….because you know nuttin’ makes me feel better than rolled-up Aces over Kings and holding free money in my hand!

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May 12, 2007

Money Mike's NBA picks


Suns @ Spurs - 4 1/2

Some body tell Amare to shut the hell up and play ball. The Spurs crowd will be rockin tonight and and the "big fundamental" will put up points against Thomas and Stoudamire. Spurs by 8.

Cleveland @ NJ -5 King James seems to be developing the "killer instinct" which will make his team better in the long run.(Even though I think he's gone when his contract is up)! NJ wins this one but will not cover. NJ by 2-3 points.

May 13, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 17-12 ATS

I was out of town all weekend with the relatives...
...at least I'll have some good stories for tomorrow!

UTAH JAZZ @ GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS (UNDA +220)
I won't play the UNDA again this series if I lose...tough also not to consider Utah gettin' almost 8 tonight. What Sloan and I do know, is if the Jazz run they'll lose huge tonight...Jazz/Warriors total points 108-114 points

May 14, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 18-12 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

Gambling aside (…I can’t believe I just said that), what a miserable start to this past weekend. On my drive to visit family far-far-away Friday, an ole’ lady claimed she saw Bigfoot comin’ out of the forest and proceeded to swerve her ‘96 Saturn into my new hooptie and caused more damage than Shawn Kemp’s third-leg has caused our great nation. While she continues to claim the forest came alive, speculation at the department is that she’s from a rival sports prediction agency…their azz better have some Geico baby! After the officer asked if I thought the Bulls would cover, he told me to calm my azz down or I’d be joinin’ him for his ride home. I’ll admit, I acted a lil’ bit like the Warriors when they don’t get a fouled called and scolded the ole’ BEEATCH worse than Roger Goodell scolds a brotha who enjoys a few too many xtra circular activities, but the only thing coming out of the forest in suburban Chicago are pedophiles and few fellaz from Boys-town!

On the positive side, at least the gamblin’ gods have a heart as I dominated my professional hardwood predictions Sunday and was able to enjoy another entertaining battle between Sloan & Nellie over a box-o-wine and some Newports. As for tonight, while I’m only givin’ you the Suns/Spurs tilt for my ATS play, I’d bet my eye-brow trimmer that LeBron has a bigger night than ‘His-Airness’ at a single’s bar…well, maybe not that nice. 34 year-old Jason Kidd dominated the glass with his 6-4 frame against the Cavs, and you have think the young 6-8 King James will be amped-up to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I’m guessing his box score will look something like this: 34 pts 14 reb 10 ass. Oh yeah, and the Nets still start Mikki Moore and one of the Collins brothers in their frontcourt. Let’s start the week off right fellaz, and congrats to the Bullies for prolonging the inevitable. It may not seem like much of moral victory, but trust me…the youngsters needed it.

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May 15, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 18-12 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

While pushin’ the Spurs/Suns total was more annoying than listening to Stuart Scott talk anything sports-related, what an awesome finish by PHX last night. Timmy D’s boys seemed in more control than Doug Christie’s wife for 46 minutes, only to let Nash and his high-flyers pull their usual late game heroics on the road. As for Horry’s hockey-check on the Canadian with UNDA 20 seconds left, that was the first time I actually realized his overrated-azz was on the court. I know I predicted we’d see the Spurs in the finals, but that’s not because I enjoy watchin’ the exciting play of Bowen, Horry, Barry, & Oberto…they’re like watchin’ an adult film with crabby veterans that are just in it for the paycheck. As for the Cavs performance, what can I say…I told ya!

On to tonight’s tit-alizing match-ups! While I’d luv to tell ya the Bulls will win a close-one in Mo-Town and the Warriors will dominate in Salt Lake, I’d also like to tell the ladies I’m carryin’ luggage that doesn’t fit underneath the carry-on bin…but I guess the man up-stairs figured I’d find a women with my charm and gamblin’ prowess. No matter what, I’m going to make sure to have some fun tonight. The Warden gave me a hall-pass for the evening, my Warrior Zubaz are Snuggle fresh, and my Homeboy’s bar has $2 drafts and Golden Tee! As for my picks and pics, hopefully they add a happy-ending to the evening that would make Asia Carrera proud!

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May 16, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 19-13 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

DA BULLS BABY!!! Unfortunelty, I haven't hit the pillow yet and I smell like an ashtray. I'll be back in a couple of hours with my picks...but continue reading and you'll get some of my other pics!

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NBA Playoff Special: 19-13 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

I’ll admit, I jumped off the Bulls playoff bandwagon so-fast you would’ve thought the cops were chasing us and Nate Newton was on-board. Does that mean I’m not leaping back on like Ron Jeremy in a double-feature...HELL NO! Not to mention, my Homeboy THE COUGAR is taking me to the United Center for game 6, and rumor has it three of the Luv-a-Bulls want Greggy G’s autograph since they’re Insideplays subscribers. As for my Warriors, it’s tough to hate on Boozer, AK-47, Harpring, and D-Williams, but I would’ve loved to see a few more weeks of Baron’s kick-azz beard, Matt Barnes’s tatts, and Stephen Jackson being…well, Stephen Jackson. Sorry to be a lil’ late today, but the liver, kidneys, and lungs aren’t workin’ so-well. Luckily, we’ve got an easy game on the ATS docket tonight thanks to the lame-azz NBA head-honchos who encourage players to take cheap-shots and reward them for being dirtier than Britany Spears in Cabo. Take it light fellas…it’s only Wednesday!

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May 17, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 19-14 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

Yes, the gamblin’ gods got me by a hook last night, but I refuse to get pissy like Rex Grossman when he hears people say he’s short, slow, and has small-hands. I’ve already won my fair share of .5 ATS victories this post-season and actually enjoyed watchin’ the Suns compete short-handed against the big-bullies from San Antone. (BTW, I’m a degenerate…and all degenerates live a life of denial & justification.) Despite the financial dagger it caused my retirement fund, I slept like a baby last night knowing tomorrow would bring a great day…I mean Da Cougar got me a playoff ticket! I take back all the White Castle and Velveeta jokes and I’ll make sure to give you my Kobe Tai - “All Thai’d Up” DVD once you get married. My only real concern as I hit the pillow was should I wear the white mink coat with the Greg Gamble, Ltd. logo or my Dave Corzine throwback. Its game day Homeboys…and I think this NBA maven knows what’s gonna happen!

4 THINGS PAX, SKILES, & CO. NEED FOR A GAME 7

4. They get their hands on more loose balls than a NBA Groupie
The Pistons bench is extremely short when you consider their grind-it-out style of play and the total minutes/age of many of their starters. As a result, you do see the Pistons take a few possessions each quarter to regroup and pick their spots when to be overly aggressive, which can leave them vulnerable to hustle and energy plays for loose balls and long-rebounds. While I’ve always undervalued Chris Duhon, he proved it once again in game 6 that he’s more disruptive and annoying than anybody we have in the backcourt…and if he’s hittin’ his shots (…which I’m always cursing until they go in), we will win tonight!

3. They Rebound like a Pop-Star after the 1st marriage
The reason I initially thought the Bulls could win in 6 was their ability to out-rebound the lifeless-legs of Detroit’s frontcourt. Sheed’s legs seem weathered & crabby, Webber’s are just about gone, and Maxiel’s are short, leaving them with only Mr. McDyess to use his surgically-repaired hops. Unfortunately, it took the Bulls two games before they realized that a combination of the Afroed-Wonder’s muscle, T-Time’s freakishness, and Deng’s subtle aggression & long-azz arms could dominate the glass and chase down virtually every long-rebound.

2. They Take Quick Shots like Greggy G on a Hallpass
Detroit is a wonderful defensive team…when they are set! In the first three games, especially late, the Bulls would pass the ball around the perimeter without a purpose and either end-up taking a contested shot with the clock running down or make a silly turnover forcing a perfect pass. Over the last two, their undersized shooters have taken the first open look available and not waited for Detroit’s length to get into position. In addition, besides the fact that the Bulls can beat the Pistons to open spots in transition and even steal a few lay-ups, since the Pistons aren’t set for their individual box-outs, the quick, long forwards for Skiles seem to have a better than 50/50 chase of getting every offensive rebound.

1. The Backcourt stays out of Foul Trouble
The Bulls win and die with the jump-shot of these 3 (in order of importance):
1) Ben Gordon 2) Kirk Hinrich 3) Luol Deng

Unfortunately, two out of these three are extremely prone to a whinny expresssion 6 minutes into the game, followed by a stiny spot next to Michael “Bag-o’ Doughnuts” Sweetney on the bench. (BTW, I put Deng 3rd because he’s pretty consistent with his mid-range game and really can do some other things to help contribute to a win…Compared to Flash Gordon, who can take over a game lookin’ like he’s playing Double Dribble and knows how to guarantee a swish, but really can’t do much else. As for Kirk, I think his jump-shot holds additional value since his performance is usually based-on his success early, and the fact that teams will leave him open more often than the other two.)

Along these lines, Flip and the Pistons veterans know this and will be taking both Capt. Kirk and the undersized 2-guard (…that can’t place defense or dribble very well) into the post at every opportunity. To tell you the truth, I’d rather see them sacrifice a few lay-ups to stay on the court tonight…It’s not like Big Ben and T-Time aren’t going to be there to help.

So…does that mean I think they will win tonight? I suggest you read what my webmaster tells you below and “Continue Reading” Homeboys!

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May 18, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 19-15 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS

As Da Cougar and I drowned our sorrows in Greek Town after leavin’ the United Center late in the 4th, (I just wish Michael Sweetney had told me in the nacho line that his teammates were leaving in the 3rd), we struggled to enjoy the ambiance of bad cologne and greasy lamb…and even failed to put together a heated debate on our ball clubs with Cub/Sox weekend upon us. In addition, yours truly is in the mist of his first ATS loosing streak for the playoffs, and I just received the official damage report on my new/scratched/dented hooptie. With that said, this weekend should be more beautiful than Ali Larter with some whip-cream...I mean the beer gardens will be a madhouse of drunk dudes threatenin’ to fight over the better utility infielder, the DePaul girls will be in Cubbie short-shorts pretending to be joggin for their health, and with Tank Johnson back on the street…you never know what might happen

Listen, I know you guys are either depressed about the Bulls or pissed that my pick dropped your dinner selection from Charlie Trotter’s to Charlie’s Fried Chx & Fish, but what more could I really do. I frickin’ gave Skiles and his undersized youngsters the four keys to victory yesterday and they decided to Rex Grossman-it instead. It’s just like the former Washington Bullet Headmaster Wes Unseld used to tell me back in the day: “Greggy G, I can tell’em what to do…but I can’t stop them from being a fool!” As for tonight’s tilts, YOU KNOW HOW WE DO IT…all a losin’ streak means to an ATS baller is it’s time to double-up! Let’s roll fellaz and make sure to have a weekend that would make Ahmad Rashad and Michael Jordan proud!

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May 19, 2007

MLB Inter-League Special: 0-0 ATS

*146-106 ATS NBA Regular Season
*20-15 ATS NBA Playoffs
*0-0 ATS MLB Regular Season

I want my White Sox to win more because I'm cruisin' to a street-fest near Wrigley this evening and I don't want to her the drunk-azzes chirpin'! I wish I was confident enough to play them, but instead I'll just enjoy the scenery in town and throw coin in the Bronx!

NY YANKESS @ NY METS (OVA 9.5 runs)
I think the Yanks youngster Darrell Ranser is due for some runs early against a solid line-up, while Glavine and his dorky hat continue to impress...but I just can't see how his off-speed pitches will sneak by Cashman's veteran hitters...11-13 total runs

May 20, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 20-15 ATS

*146-106 NBA Regular Season
*1-0 MLB Regular Season

First off, props to the Cubbies...
I wish I cared more to take all your shiznit, but .500 baseball in May doesn't excite me with the playoffs rollin' on the professional hardwood. Come on Ozzie...my pick, and the always beautiful pic, will have a better day if we don't get swept by Sweet Lou! Sunday Funday!

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May 21, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 20-16 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS
*Greggy G’s MLB Regular Season: 1-0 ATS

Thankfully, my Sox pulled out a laugher Sunday to keep the Insane Cubbie Posse from peeing all over the streets of Chicago in their typical celebratory manner, but props none the less to the Northsiders for the Crosstown series victory. As for the roundball playoffs, while my finals prediction of SA vs CLE is still a possibility, more importantly, I’m definitely due for a 2nd ATS postseason run to keep your pockets fatter than Matty-tat Barnes’s agent once the Warrior hits the market. Gotta run Homeboys…I have dates with the Insurance Company, a Rental Car Outfit, an Auto Body Shop, and with the Ronny Mexico Foundation for Injured Animals today. Of course first, I’ll be leavin’ you with a Monday pick & pic that should start the week off with more promise than an invite to an after-party thrown by a Cincinnati Bengal. Let’s roll fellaz…

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May 22, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 20-17 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS
*Greggy G’s MLB Regular Season: 1-0 ATS

I desperately tried to convince my beautiful lady I needed some Thug-Kama-Sutra to change my ATS Playoff luck last night, but she simply responded:“Your a white-degenerate-dork…not a thug you putz!” While it’s tough to argue with her, I was hoping for some sympathy similar to the luv Clinton Portis gave Ronny “Dogg-Pound” Mexico about his extra curricular canine activities. Hell ya Clinton, why don’t people just mind their own damn business…it’s not like he’s skinning cats or drowning hamsters!

As for the NBA action, I would comment on what I’ve seen the last couple nights, but until I get back on the winning streak that’s like taken the opinion of Rex Grossman on how much he likes roller coasters…like his short-azz can get on the ShockWave! But don’t fear young gamblers, just like the great Dennis Green told me back in 1999 after the Army/Navy ATS debatable:“Are you goin’ to complain Greggy G, or are you going to ‘Crown the Azz’ of the bookmakers next time?!”That’s the pep-talk I needed Denny, now I just needed to find a beautiful pick to make the day complete…oh boy, I found it fellaz!

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May 23, 2007

MLB Regular Season Special: 1-0 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS
*Greggy G’s NBA Playoffs: 20-18 ATS

Thankfully, the NBA is on vacation today and I won't have to watch my playoff record plummet like Mark Prior's rookie card! Also, I'm going to be pulling a Cincinnati Bengal today, as I'll be in court for most of the afternoon, and will have to keep the banter shorter than the Bulls backcourt. But don't fret young Greggy G fanatics...I've got a pick and some pics to make you smile like Tom Brady when he rolls over in the morning!

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May 24, 2007

NBA Playoff Special: 20-18 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS
*Greggy G’s MLB Regular Season: 2-0 ATS

While yours truly has burned more friendships than the late-great Lisa 'Left-Eye' Lopes with a few matches at Andre Rison's, today's a special day because two of my best Homeboys (who remain loyal no matter how many times I screw them OVA) are another year closer to joinin’ Pac, Fred Lane, & John Denver. Besides a shout-out to Bob Dylan & Tommy Chong on their BDAYs, I’m sending out some extra special luv (Rae Carruth style) to Joe John ‘Tech-Support’ III and Iowa's very-own Iceman...Mr. KILMA. When I sparked-up a Newport Light and drowned my Cheerios with a lil' Colt 45 this morning...I did it thinkin’ of you two!

Next order of business, before I get to braggin’ about my 2-0 start on the diamond, my dominance on the YMCA hardwood,, and the NBA action on the docket tonight, I’d like to bitch about Enterprise…you know, the “We’ll pick you up in a 'Fire-Engine' Red Neon with less than a half-tank of gas” rental car company. DO THEY KNOW WHO I FRICKIN’ AM!? My entire reputation is based on convincing people I'm richer than Rachel Ray, and they're treating me like I’m Chef-Boy-R-Deadbeat. I can’t wait to take a piss in the glove box before I return that alignment-challenged piece o' shiznit! But enough about my Neon, an ATS winning streak was started yesterday and I have an NBA DRAFT article due in a couple hourscomparing super-models to the Top-10 bball prospects. And yes, of course I’ll post it for you guys…who doesn’t want to know how one of the Olsen twins compares to 7-footer Spencer Hawes’s inside-out ability. Watch-out Bill Simmons and JK Rowling…Greggy G has a pen and paper handy! Take it light this Thursday fellaz and make sure to always remember this is for news and news matters only!

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May 25, 2007

MLB Regular Season: 3-0 ATS

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS
*Greggy G’s NBA Playoff Special: 21-18 ATS

Here’s a little Haiku for you BEEATCHES:

Cavs Coach has no clue,
Reminds Greg G. of Wayne Fontes,
While L. Hughes is poo!

While it’s tough to whine like Timmy D after predicting the game-winning opportunity for King James and easily coverin’ last night, I would’ve luved to see the Cavs pull that one out like a college-kid without money for a rubber. Listen, I’m tryin’ not to hate on the crafty veterans of Mo-Town, but if Chauncey is going to get a call every time someone brushes into him…you have to call a foul on RIP’s skinny-azz riddin’ LeBron all the way to the cup. With that said, the unequivocal bozo play of the playoffs was made by Cavs headmaster Mike Brown. IF YOU'RE DOWN WITH LESS THAN 30 SECONDS, YOU DON’T HOLD THE BALL FOR THE LAST SHOT! I’m not exaggerating when I say this, but that was the dumbest thing I’ve witnessed in professional sports since Dusty Baker claimed that the Cubs white-players struggle with so many day games because Blacks and Hispanics are better suited for warm weather! In addition, even though Mr. Brown may have turned the Cavs into a defensive juggernaut, please stop runnin’ the same iso-play for your superstar (with about as much movement from his teammates as a virgin on prom-night) every time the game is on the line. When nobody on your squad is movin’ Mickey B…that enables all 10 Detroit eyes to stay focused on LeBron. Feel free to give me a shout if you need any help for Game 3, and if you have trouble trackin’ me down just call the Chicago OTB.

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May 26, 2007

MLB Regular Season: 4-0 ATS

*Greggy G's NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS
*Greggy G's NBA Playoff Record: 21-18 ATS


Is Greggy G gonna play the Sloan/Popovich UNDA for a 3rd straight? You'll have wait till later today to find out cause I have a fever for the diamond this afternoon!

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NBA Playoffs: 21-18 ATS


SAN ANTONIO SPURS @ UTAH JAZZ (OVA 191)
I've bet the OVA and lost the first two...so I'm guessing the gambling gods have my back in this one. Oh yeah, and if the Jazz don't realize they need to slow things down...I'll take the loss, but Johnny Amechi and I are going to beat Sloan's azz!...Spurs/Jazz 180-186 total points

May 27, 2007

MLB Regular Season Record: 6-0 ATS

*Greggy G's NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS
*Greggy G's NBA Playoff Record: 21-19 ATS

SEATTLE MARINERS @ KANSAS CITY AA ROYALS
I keep tellin' you the Mariners are hot Homeboys, and they now have 60 hits over their last 4 games...oh yeah, and their still playing the AA Royals...Mariners sweep series

NEW YORK METS @ FLORIDA MARLINS
I'm 6-0 BEEATCHES, so take my word for it! Mets by 2-4 runs

May 28, 2007

MLB ATS Special: 8-0 ...no joke BEEATCHES!


DETROIT TIGERS @ TAMPA BAY DEVIL RAYS (OVA 10.5)
I'm headin' to the race track fellaz...wish me luck. As for this play, the guy who pitches for TB is named CASEY and the guy on Detroit sucks. BTW, I watched the Rays hit the ball all over the place against my White Sox, while the Tigers have a stacked line-up. I luv it...winnin' money at the track and on the diamond on the same day!...Tigers/Rays 12-15 runs

NBA Playoff Special: 21-19 ATS

Greggy G's NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS
Greggy G's MLB Regular Season: 8-0 (Hell yeah!)

SAN ANTONIO SPURS @ UTAH JAZZ (UNDA 191)
Yes, you are correct...I'm 0-3 so far on the UNDA in this series. And yes, I'm takin' it again! Spurs/Jazz 180-186 total points

May 29, 2007

MLB Special: 9-0 ATS (HELL YEAH!)


I had a weekend that would have made the Cincinnati Bengals and Lindsey Lohan proud. Hit up Wrigleyville Friday, Crawfish Boil Saturday, Birthday Bash and Lakehouse trip Sunday, and the race track yesterday…oh yeah, and I went undefeated on the M*tha F*ckin’ diamond the entire time! When I was 5-0 last week, my Homeboy told me he was waiting until I lost before he took my MLB picks…looks like my boy isn’t gamblin’ until after the All-Star break! As for the professional hardwood playoffs, I finally won a Jazz/Spurs UNDA and the Cavs are getting’ a huge break with Larry “I’m more overpaid the Stuart Scott” Hughes going down with a foot injury. And what about the Ronny Mexico fiasco…how shady was that anonymous interview with the dude that said Vick was the Keyser Söze of Canine Battles. You think the Falcons wish they still had Matt Schaub holdin’ his clipboard? And Finally, I’d rather go to a Kirk Hinrich motivational speaking engagement than watch either Chicago baseball team. Our summer in Chi-town is too short to be wasting it on .500 ball-clubs, and you know A.J. Pierzynski can’t start a school-girl fight every single afternoon to keep us entertained. Take it light my degenerates and enjoy the short week…BTW, did I tell you I’M FRICKIN’ UNDEFEATED IN MLB?!

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May 30, 2007

MLB Regular Season: 10-0 ATS (YEAH BABY!)


Sorry to be runnin’ late today, but I was signing autographs at K-Mart’s Outdoor Sales Center and I’m movin’ a lil’ slow after a devastating softball injury last night. Besides the disappointment of watchin’ our Smoke Daddy squad get pasted by dudes in softball pants, I also tripped over the first base line on my first Happy Gilmore at-bat of the season and my leg has swollen like Tank Johnson after a jail sentence. As reported in the Chicago Sun-Times today, during Tank’s 60 day stay in Cook County jail, the Chicago Bear purchased the following items: 162 beef sticks, 40 honey bun sweet rolls, 35 summer sausage blocks, & 35 bags of barbecue chips…Now that’s what I call the munchies!

As for my continuing dominance on the diamond, it’s really not that hard with the Royals forced to play 162 games a year. Let’s check my handy-dandy Gambler’s Anonymous baseball schedule…yep, they’re on the docket again to tonight! As for the tilt in San Antonio, I definitely think the Spurs will close-it-out with ease, but 8-9 points seems a lil’ rough for a conference finals match-up. Yeah, I think I’m sticking with the Sammy Sosa motto: “Baseball has been very very good to me!” Have a good one fellas and congrats to my Homeboy LeBron…by far the best player left on the court in the East!

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May 31, 2007

Will Nocioni & Gordon be back?


I’ll be the first to admit, I overindulged in the Bulls Kool-Aid after they swept the defending champs in the opening round. Even knowing D-Wade was hobbled, Shaq was taking the year off, and the rest of the AARP Heat were on a farewell tour, I was truly impressed with the Bulls confident approach late in each game and loved the smart aggressive style they finally captured for more than a few spurts. Just like the majority of the Bulls faithful, I also desperately wanted to see this group succeed simply because it was refreshing to see a classy and passionate group of young NBA professionals. While I was well-aware of the individual on-court flaws each of them possessed and didn’t forget how skeptical I was all season regarding their playoff potential, I was starting to believe the postseason hype and wanted back on the bandwagon. Maybe Paxson, Skiles, & Co. were right that an undersized backcourt could survive on the road and that mortgaging the future on Pau Gasol was not the answer. Or maybe, as I realized watching Gordon getting abused by oversized guards and the Pistons 4th frontcourt reserve (Jason Maxiel) having more low post moves than our entire roster, I should have stuck with my pre and mid-season gut.

While I’ve always clamored for Pau Gasol and believe he’d look three times as good alongside Ben Wallace as Hakim Warrick, if Johnny Pax is able to get him this summer for a cheaper price than before…I understand why he is the GM and not me. Gasol is a legit 7-footer, a better athlete than people think, and skill wise, can be compared to a poor man’s Tim Duncan. For most teams, to acquire a player of Gasol’s ability would decimate their roster of all potential young stars. But for the Bulls, it’s actually just a matter of finding the right combination of youngsters to give-up. As for the size in the backcourt, while Thabo Selfolosha is an intriguing talent, he’s definitely a couple years away and comes without a lifetime guarantee for success. Luckily, free agency is usually a little kinder on the wallet when you’re comparing off-guards to the big-boys on the block, not to mention, the Bulls also have the ability to trade their draft picks (and the Knicks pick…Thanks Isiah!) to fill the void.

With that said, I believe Pax witnessed the same things I saw and knows the roster needs more than just some minor tweaking. Unfortunately, in the NBA, roster moves are never as easy as they seem and salaries can often determine a player’s worth more than their actual ability. Case in point, the Ben Gordon and Kirk Hinrich debate we’ve heard throughout the year on sports radio and at the local watering hole. No matter how convincing a Ben Gordon should stay over Kirk Hinrich argument is, nobody is going to trade for Capt. Kirk after he just signed for more than 10 million a year last summer. As for Flash, he’s still in his rookie contract and will pull a lot more weight if the Bulls try to bring Gasol…or even Garnett into the mix. As for the off-guard spot, whether they trade, sign-n-trade, or take the FA route, they will probably have to sacrifice one of their own FAs. And while I hate to say it, and absolutely love his game, I have a feeling that sacrificial lamb may be Andres Nocioni.

NBA GMs are finally looking harder at character and glue guys as they head into the future and are willing to pay star money for players that are maybe a notch below that moniker (see Kirk Hinrich contract). While I’m sure Pax, Skiles, & Co. admire what Noce brings to the court and the locker-room, if Luol and Tyrus are kept out of a potential frontcourt trade, the minutes won’t justify the money that they’d have to match to keep him. Of course, I’ll be disappointed if I don’t see Ben on fire in the 4th next year or have to enjoy my popcorn without the passionate-Argentinean annoying an opponent a head-taller and foot-faster, but as I will explain below…it may not be as bad as you think.

Ben Gordon G 6’3” 200 lbs. age: 24
2006-07: 21.4 ppg 46 fg% 41 3pt%

REGULAR SEASON GRADE: B
POST SEASON GRADE: C

In his 3rd full season, Ben continued to prove he’s one of the best young shooters in the game. When open on the perimeter or given enough room to square-up, he continues to be almost automatic, while also surprising opponents with his ability to get to the rim and finish amidst the big-boys. As far as his ball-handling and playmaking ability, the former Connecticut Huskie will probably never be able to slide over to the point and can actually be liability late in games if teams pressure or trap the dribble. As for the defensive end, while I’ll admit his effort and overall awareness was more impressive than I expected this season, his size and inability to guard the 2-spot was a huge weakness for the Bulls. This was most apparent against the Pistons when they simply isolated Billups or Hamilton, depending on which one Ben was guarding.

WHY HE WON’T BE BACK:
It’s tough to justify an undersized guard that has a poor handle and can’t defend anybody on the wing. Ideally, I feel Ben’s future in the NBA is dependant on the size and ability of the guard playing alongside him. While Hinrich has the ability to play the point and can guard some athletic 2-guards, I believe his game suffers as the season progresses with the heavy nightly assignment, especially when we’re talking about foul trouble. I honestly believe Ben’s most efficient spot in the NBA may be as a 6th man providing instant offense off the bench. While I’d love to keep him for this role, his value may never be higher than it is today and Pax needs to take full advantage. In addition, the combination of Ben hitting the open market soon and the Bulls having so many other youngsters to pay in the near future, a trade this off-season may prevent them from losing him for nothing next year.

Andres Nocioni 6’7” 225 lbs. age: 27
2006-07: 14.1 ppg 5.7 rpg 47 fg% 38 3pt%

REGULAR SEASON GRADE: B-
POST SEASON GRADE: D+

Nobody represents the style and attitude Paxson and Skiles are trying to create on and off the court than Noce. Also completing his 3rd NBA season, he’s continued to expand his game and can be the difference in 3-5 wins per season just on his hustle plays. An above average shooter from long and mid-range, Nocioni still attacks the rim like it’s a gold medal match and has the basketball IQ to make-up for some of his YMCA-style game. Defensively, while quicker wing-players caused him more problems than in year’s past, he still can be trusted on a daily basis to play exceptional team defense and will find the floor twice as much as his opponent. Unfortunately, a foot injury caused him to miss more than 20 games at the backend of the season and prevented him from being the playoff superstar he was for the Bulls the last two years.

WHY HE WONT BE BACK:
Johnny Pax has already paid two non-offensive superstars (Hinrich & Wallace), superstar money! I can’t see how he can afford to do that again, because I honestly believe some team is going to offer him in the range of 6-9 million/year this off-season. Besides the monetary issues, do you trust a 27 year-old power forward in a small forward’s body who plays year-round, and is starting to show some signs of wear and tear? Similar to Gordon, I also think his game is the most effective when he’s coming off the bench…but not coming off the bench for 8.5 million. A prototypical ‘tweener’ in the NBA, I’ll be extremely happy for him when he signs a huge deal this off-season…especially if it’s not going to cost me another dollar with the United Center beer vendors.

MLB Record: 11-0 ATS (I ain’t lying Homeboys!)

*Greggy G’s NBA Regular Season: 146-106 ATS
*Greggy G’s NBA Playoff Special: 22-19 ATS

Publishing Note: A Bulls article I wrote is posted on the previous entry and discusses two of Paxson’s favorite youngsters leavin’ town this off-season...enjoy!

Back to business…I honestly need to lose a baseball bet before any new-readers come to the site because I have a feeling it’s as believable as that hamster/Richard Gere story. IT’S NOT MY FAULT THE ROYALS PLAY EVERDAY!!! But enough AA Royals chatter, a huge game on the hardwood tonight and I have feeling we’re going to see a score lower than Paris and Lindsey’s Driver’s ED scores. But before I give my daily winners and daily picks, I have a few important thoughts for ya:

1. Kobe Bryant is as likely to be traded as my girl is of convincing me to rid myself of my Kobe Tai collection.

2. Why do rich-rappers brag about getting’ panties from strippers in their songs? Do they realize dorky white-dudes that MAKE IT RAIN with $6 dollars can do that too?

3. How funny is it that they make 80 year-old baseball managers dress-up in full uniform…You think the Wicked Films producer wears a strap-on and rubs Ramen seasoning on his balls directing a scene. (What do you mean you guys don’t use a Picante Chx packet during 4-play?)

4. Combining Pop-Rocks and Everclear in your mouth will cause permanent gum damage and will make you piss your pants.

5. Watching the post-game press conferences for Ozzie and Lou is 169 times more fun than watching Chicago baseball (BTW…169 equals the recorded # of beef-stick purchases by Tank Johnson for his 60-day stint in the clink!)

6. Who knew Marcus Vick, aka Ronny Tijuana, was the good one in the family?

Have a good one fellaz and always remember what the great poetry writer 50-cent once told me… “Losers lose and Winners win!” You know which one of those I roll with!

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About May 2007

This page contains all entries posted to Inside Plays in May 2007. They are listed from oldest to newest.

April 2007 is the previous archive.

June 2007 is the next archive.

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