Hell yeah Homeboys…Nuttin’ makes me sleep better than a lil’ Whiskey n’ Theraflu and a 3-0 ATS evening. And listen to this, my lawyer (aka Andrew Uncle Ben’s) is takin’ me to a skybox at Comiskey to watch the Yankees take 3 out 4 from the Bad News White Sox. I know that means I’m missing Game 1 of the NBA Finals, but besides the fact that it’ll be a complete blow-out (Greggy G Alert: ATS foreshadowing), tryin’ to tell a Polack to pass up free tix, booze, & food is like tryin’ to tell Mark Chmura to pass-up the opportunity to hang in a hot-tub with High School Cheerleaders. BTW, my lawyer, he’s not the insideplays.com lawyer; he’s actually my personal lawyer…What can I say, Nate Newton told me it was oregano!
Anywho, before I breakdown the diamond, is it just me or for the first time in these playoffs does King James seem a lil’ overconfident. I know he needs to show a swagger, especially in front of his cast of average ballers, but I’m gettin’ a completely different vibe from His Majesty. Listen, I’m not hatin’…If I was in his shoes at 22 I’d probably be acting like a combination of Terrell Owens, Verne Troyer, & the Girls Gone Wild guru. Oh yeah, and if I had his shoe size…I’d probably never ever get dressed! Have a good one fellaz and always remember what R. Kelly has taught us…no, not make it rain with someone you picked-up from Rock n Roll McDonalds, but be a Go-Getter…I know I’m gonna Go-Get me some money today!
CLEVELAND CAVALIERS @ SAN ANTONIO SPURS (-7.5)
I have a feeling the Cavs are going to get blown-out tonight like all the white kids running in the 100-yard dash. Of course, they definitely won’t say it and most of them don’t even realize it, but I honestly believe Cleveland’s victory ova the Pistons was their championship. While The LeBron’s seem happy just to be in the Finals, the Spurs have been nuttin’ but business since they dismantled the Jazz and are out to prove they should be considered one of the best teams of all-time.
Secondly, nobody plays better team/help defense than the Spurs, and unfortunately, Cleveland had the luxury of playin’ a Pistons team that let James slash to the cup without even much of step out. Just ask Amare what it’s like to take the ball to the hole on Popovich’s boys. On the offensive end, while the so-called NBA experts treated the Pistons like Oprah and Rachel Ray, the Spurs stars are in a completely different class. Not to mention, they have shooters surrounding Timmy D that will take Mike “How the hell did I get here” Brown at least 2 games to figure out. Listen, Coach Brown deserves a hefty extension and may become a great basketball coach someday, but he’s greener than an 18 year-old performing with Ronny the Hedgehog. If the Cavs keep this from being a Double-Digit victory, David Stern should give them game 1. Why not, he did it for San Antonio against Phoenix…Spurs by 11-16 points
DETROIT TIGERS @ TEXAS RANGERS
I told ya the Tigers would kick the Rangers azz like Zambrano kicked the azz of that dude the Cubs supposedly call a catcher…and they proceeded to paste them 10-0. Nuttin’ different tonight, except for the fact that the Rangers might score a couple. Even though Tigers starter Mike Maroth has watched his ERA rise from 4.69 to 5.28 ova his last 3 starts, Rangers starter Kameron Loe has had his ERA between 5.76 and 7.04 ova his last 7 starts…Tigers by 2-6 runs
NEW YORK YANKEES @ CHICAGO WHITE SOX
I have to play this one tonight since I’ll be eating, drinking, & chewing for free in a skybox with Andrew Uncle Ben’s. To start, I luv the fact that Mike Mussina’s ERA is 6.25 because it keeps the line lower than Lindsey Lohan sitting shotgun. As for the Sox starter, Jose Contreras seems to have lost a few MPHs on his 35 to 45 year-old arm and I’m guessin his former teammates know what to look for. Not to mention, the White Sox are the worst hitting team in baseball right now. Hey, if the Yankees win we’re all happy…if the Sox win, I’ll be happy…Yankees by 2-5 runs