While the baseball gods brought me back to reality like they have for Ozzie since ‘05, it’s actually refreshing to look at my MLB record and know I’m on a losing streak. BTW, I split my other two baseball plays last night, with the one winner being the White Sux UNDA. No lie, if I just took the Southsider UNDA everyday, I could probably stop selling Diet Rockstar at the corner of Lincoln and Damen. To close out the baseball chatter, the vivacious and festively-plump Johnathan Hood at ESPN radio 1000 had an amazing stat this morning: Mr. Guillen has sported a different line-up 50 out of the 60 games they’ve played this year. Injuries included, that’s more ridiculous than the fact that Byung-Hyun Kim is still in the league...awesome find J-Hood!
But enough diamond notes, we have the NBA Finals tonight and I can’t understand why the line is so low. The smooth-dome of Jalen Rose had an unbelievable stat about Tony Parker yesterday. Before I get to that, my girl has two freebies that I can’t get pissed about…Brad Pitt & J-Rose. In my warped mind, nobody is cooler than the former Wolverine. He’s had an offensive game of 40 year-old at the playground since he came into the league, and plays defense like my azz at the YMCA…you know, everyone has to guard out of position because I can’t stay in front of anybody faster than Rex Grossman. Anywho…Check out this stat he gave yesterday: During the regular season, nobody had more points in the paint than Tony Parker…not Dwight Howard, not Shaq, and not Dave Corzine...Tony “The datin’ maven” Parker! So let’s ride him, make some cash tonight, and make sure to live by the motto of the Shop Boyz: PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR, PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR! That’s easy for me…I’ve already OD’d on my Mojito Theraflu and will easily catch that rebate buzz during softball!
CHICAGO AA WHITE SOX @ PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES (UNDA 9)
If I need to explain to you why, insideplays.com is not a favorite on your PC and I care about you as much as I do about Barry Bonds breaking the record…Sox/Phillies 4-6 total runs
SAN ANTONIO SPURS (-2) @ CLEVELAND CAVALIERS
Trust me like you trust a bartender at a strip-club…this line will be moving up all day! The Spurs saw what happened to Detroit and won’t let that happen tonight. Pops has three disciplined studs (don’t hate me Tim Hardaway) averaging over 20 ppg this series, while Lebron is not even averaging that, and more importantly, headmaster Mike Brown has played Donyell Marshall, Damon Jones, & Larry Hughes OVA 100 minutes thru the first two frickin’ games! I could go on, but what’s the point…Spurs by 6-12 points
SAN ANTONIO SPURS @ CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (UNDA 179)
After these two totaled 161 points in Game 1, the Cavs tried to push the tempo and got blown-out almost immediately before makin’ things close during garbage time. While the total of 195 in Game 2 may scare some of you, as degenerate handicapper, the results have made Vegas shift the line up ever so slightly and given me some extra confidence (Yeah, I know…like my Terrell Owens azz needs any more confidence). As mentioned in my Spurs play, Pops has three scoring weapons to the Cavs one. Especially with the game in Cleveland, I expect The LeBron’s to turn this into half-court battle that would make Gene Hackman proud from his Hoosiers days. Trust me, I’ve been to the mountain top, and I’ve found the funky mushrooms…Spurs/Cavs total points 162-168