My luck lately seems worse than an NFLer on a motorcycle. It appeared I’d have a profitable 2-1 ATS evening last night as I took the Tigers (minus 1.5 runs), only to watch as Detroit proceeded to blow a 9-1 lead in the 6th to barely hold-on for 1-run victory against the deadly Nats. Speaking of deadly, looks like Pac Man Jones’s crew is on the prowl again. Hey fellaz, have you hear of Barnes & Noble or Putt-Putt Golf? I’m not suggesting someone didn’t bump into ya or threaten to steal your stripper’s thong…but maybe, just maybe, you guys should lay-low for awhile. I mean when I got busted for pissing on a college campus, you didn’t see my azz grabbin’ a Big-Gulp or Beer-Bongin’ for at least 6 months.
As for today’s schedule, I have a funny feeling the ole’ Smokey Daddy Softball team is breaking into the win-column, and more importantly, Greggy G will be sippin’ on the Champagne of Beers after pullin’ MVP honors and watchin’ the sports-ticker with better results than a captain of the football team on Prom Night. Speaking of sleeping with young white-girls, the media is making it sound like Kobe Bryant has a realistic chance of becoming a Chicago Bull. Once again, I cannot fathom GM Mitch Kupchak livin’ through the departures of both Shaq and Kobe from the Hollywood Lake Show. I’m not saying I wouldn’t do it if I were Pax, Skiles, & Co. if I was able to keep some of my young pieces, but in LA, the Zenmaster needs a superstar to be a great coach and Jerry Buss needs a superstar to keep the high-rollers sitting courtside. The only team I see as a realistic option is Washington because Agent Zero/Mr. Habachi is a Cali kid who can make the turn-styles move. Once again, the Wiz would have to throw in another piece and there is no guarantee the whinny-baby in LA would even approve the move. Oh yeah, and please stop telling me there’s a chance he’ll be elbowing-defenders in the Big Apple…the Knickerbockers don’t even have anybody the Bulls would take for Ben Gordon. Gotta Roll…have a good one Homeboys and make sure to be thinking of the Smoke Daddy tonight!
SAN FRANCISCO @ MILWAUKEE BREWERS (-1.5 RUNS) (+130)
You guys know I have soft-spot on my heart for Ben Sheets since he’s treated me better than Asia Carrera when the lady’s out-of-town. Not to mention, the young Brew Crew’s bats are on fire again as they’ve won 5 out of their last 6. As for the AARP Giants who look awfully tired lately, they have rookie Tim Lincecum (5.25 ERA) on the mound who allowed 7 runs thru 3.2 innings in his last start and has walked 9 in his last 8 innings overall…Brewers by 4-6 runs
FLORIDA MARLINS @ CHICAGO WHITE SOX
Dontrelle Willis (7-6, 4.58) has had an up-an-down season, but looked sharp in his last start going 7 innings, allowing 2 earned runs, striking-out 8, and walking zilch. Not to mention, the White Sux are batting just .218 versus lefties! As for the Marlins, they’ll be facing rookie southpaw John Danks who hasn’t pitched thru the 6th inning in his last 4 starts, which is not a good sign when you have one of the worst bullpens in baseball. In addition, the Marlins are hitting 26 points higher against lefties (.282), led by Miguel Cabrera’s .411 & 8 HRs in 56 ABs…Marlins by 2-4 runs
KANSAS CITY ROYALS @ ST. LOUIS CARNDINALS (OVA 10.5)
As Tara Reid once said…“this isn’t Rock Science!” Two of the worst pitchers in baseball hit the mound tonight and I’m guessing at least one of them gives up 7 runs before the 4th inning. For the Cardinals, Kip Wells (2-11, 6.93) has actually pitched much worse than his season ERA lately allowing 21 runs, 13 walks, in 17.2 innings. In addition, he just pitched against KC last week and gave-up 6 earned runs and 4 walks in just OVA 1 inning. As for the Royals, Scott Elarton (2-2, 8.54) toes the rubber where he hasn’t made it thru the 6th inning yet this year and also gave-up 6 earned runs in his last start against the Cardinals… on a positive note, at least he pitched 2 full innings. This one should be fun fellaz…as long as you’re not in-charge of the scorecard of tonight…Royals/Cards 13-16 total runs.