Smoke Daddy Softball wins, Greggy G’s Diamond stock is on the rise, another Bengal has to talk to the cops, and Michael Barrett (a former silver slugger winner) is shipped out of town for a bag o’ balls…is America great for a self-proclaimed sports writer or what!
How about them Bengals…10 arrests in 14 months! At least we know where Pac-Man will be signing once he’s dropped by the Titans (I know Marvin, it must be racial-profiling). Speaking of the Gridiron, why is everybody hatin’ on Tommie Harris for wanting Donovan McNabb. Your tellin’ me you’d prefer a short, slow, white-guy with small-hands and a blind-spot when throwing in the flat…yeah, that makes sense. As for the Diamond and another bullpen debacle by the White Sux, what really sums up our season is the fact that Ozzie’s been DH’ing Alex Cintron and his .214 0 HR 5 RBI lumber lately. ARE YOU FRICKIN’ KIDDING ME!!! That’s like gettin’ a technical Free Throw and choosin’ Shaq to toe the line, or having your girlfriend out of town and renting “50-year-old Hairy Sluts” for entertainment. In addition, what chapped my azz more than parking backwards at the forest preserve (if you don’t know what that means…email John Amechi) was watching GM Kenny Williams on TV saying he thinks the Sux can get back in the race. Listen Kenny, Vegas odds have the Southsiders with as much a chance as ex-Packer Mark Chmura does of being a Prom Chaperone someday. And finally, as Greggy G told you last week, Michael Barrett is back to annoy Greg Maddux in San Diego. All I can say to that is…Bye-Bye BEEATCH!
Briefly, not only did Smoke Daddy win for the 1st time of the season, but we beat the two-time defending champs who have a kid that used to kick my azz in High School! While yours truly was 3-4 with 3 RBI’s, I did pull a Barry Bonds and was ridiculed by my teammates for not sliding on a play at the plate…What can I say, I’m a lot prettier than most of them. As for the Daddy’s MVP, congrats to Andy “Manny Trillo” Flossinator for some unbelievable web-gems and sliding on every play like it’s the College World Series…you the shiznit! Gotta roll Homeboyz, it’s not the 1st of the month but do I have some collecting to do! Enjoy my picks and pics!
SAN FRAN AARP GIANTS @ MILWAUKEE BREWERS
I’m riding the Brewers until the M*tha F*ckin’ wheels fall off. More importantly, I can’t see how the retirement community from San Fran will be able to bounce back for a day game after staying-up past their bedtime last night. Also, the line is lower because dumb-azzes are still betting on southpaw Barry Zito like he’s a dominate ace (6-7 4.41), not to mention, he’s been shelled in his last two starts (9.1 innings, 14 hits, 11 runs). Also, the young Brew Crew hits 16 points better versus lefties, Claudio Vargas (5-1 3.86) is having his best season as a pro, and Manager Ned Yost has these youngsters playing with veteran confidence…Brewers by 3-6 runs
DETROIT TIGERS (-1.5 RUNS) @ WASHINGTON NATIONALS (-1.5 RUNS)
The Tigers have scored 24 runs and knocked-out 28 hits in the first two games of this series. In addition, they’ve just tied the Tribe for the lead in the Central and are playing with the passion that led them to the World Series last year. As for the Nats…yeah, their still the Nats! I don’t even need to mention that the 7-0 Jeremy Bonderman will be toein’ the rubber. BTW, I rented “Toein’ the Rubber” last night…very underrated if you’re into that shiznit!…Tigers by 5-8 runs
FLORIDA MARLINS @ CHICAGO WHITE SUX (UNDA 9.5)
Day game after disappointed night loss for the Sux means the Southsiders score no more than one run today. In addition, Jon Garland has been one of the few bright spots for Sox and Jim Thome was out last night with a stiff back. As for the Marlins, by looking at Miguel Cabrera I’m guessing he’ll have a little heartburn after swallowing a donkey for a late night snack yesterday. Also, former Cub Sergio Mitre has been awesome this year (2.29 ERA) and has one of the sickest Groundball to Flyball ratio’s I’ve seen…which doesn’t bode will for a squad that swings for the fences with every pitch…Marlins/Sox 2-4 total runs