What did I tell you about bettin’ the OVA on Tuesday fellaz…it’s a bigger lock than an NBA superstar asking to be traded after realizing the team sucks cause he took all their cap-space. Speaking of the professional hardwood, I haven’t had an NBA Draft chubby like this since the Bulls drafted Brad Sellers. My mock draft is on hold until tomorrow as it looks like more picks are going to be swapped than steroids at a WW(F/E) Wrestling convention. Also, we have so much afternoon baseball I think I’m going to need another notepad for all my investment documentation. And what’s this, Kenny Williams reads www.insideplays.com and finally realized he should sign Mark Buehrle to long-term deal…I knew he was a genius. With that, I’m going to leave you with a few quick thoughts on what to expect the next few days…before handing out money like the New York Yankees when their short on pitching:
1. The NBA will ban former Celtics from being GMs
Larry Bird (Pacers), Kevin McHale (T-Wolves), & Danny Ainge (Celtics) have basically ruined 3 franchises. Hey Larry the Legend, I know you were a slow white-guy, but that doesn’t mean you should trade for every slow white-guy. Your paying Troy Murphy & Mike Dunleavy 16 frickin’ million a year you fool!
2. Even as a Southsider, I can’t stop watching the Cubs
Even if you don’t have an Asian fetish, are you turning off the tube when a Kobe Tai marathon is on channel 986? My reasons…Nobody is more entertaining to watch than Alfonso Soriano with his Peter North sized bat and unorthodox outfield play, you never know what Big Z or Sweet Lou might do, and watching Cubs fans at Wrigley is like a frat party, a New Kids concert, & a Harley Davidson convention all rolled into one. Keep it up Cubbies and keep a bandwagon spot for Uncle Greggy!
3. The Rocket has is 1-2 with a 5.09 ERA
Heheheheheheheheh…old stingy bastard!
4. Kevin Garnett next to Amare is Redonkulous
If Steve Kerr can get KG without giving-up Amare, we have the GM of the year and NBA Title for 2008 already wrapped-up. No matter how many times the Suns run past teams in the regular season, when the playoffs come they look like Rex Grossman trying to stiff-arm a D-lineman when trying to stop Timmy D on the block. As for all the Matrix luv, he makes way more money than Amare and you’ll be surprised how average he looks out of the Phoenix/Nash system.
5. I went to the Dentist yesterday!
This is the exact conversation I had with my dentist:
Greggy G: It’s not you Dr. Lee, I’ve always been deathly afraid of the dentist. It’s embarrassing I haven’t been here in 3 years, and I apologize for avoiding your secretary’s calls like it’s the cops.
Dr. Lee: Actually Mr. Gamble, it’s been 5 years…we need to take some X-Rays. (X-rays are taken and he begins to scrap-off the sin on my teeth as a sweat thru my Devil Ray tighty-whitey’s.)
Dr Lee: Oh my god Mr Gamble?! (A shaving of Labatt Blue soils my D-Ray undergarment)
Dr Lee: I can’t believe you don’t have one cavity! You must not chew, smoke, drink, or hang-out at strip-clubs.
Greggy G: I’m a pretty dorky-guy Dr. Lee, I just like to read & floss…Btw, have you heard of Insideplays.com?
COLORADO ROCKIES @ CHICAGO CUBS (-1.5) (+105)
Big Z has been the most dominate pitcher in MLB ova his last 3 starts (25 innings, 0.72, 25 Ks). As for the Cubs offensive, I don’t think the experts realize the Cubs may have deadliest top of the order in baseball. On the Rockie side, it wouldn’t matter if they had 9 Ichiro’s in the line-up, with the sun out and Zambrano’s filthy stuff they have no chance. As for Colorado’s hurler, 25 year-old Jason Hirsh has an ERA ova 10 in his last two starts and for the season is ova 5. In all honesty, if I was in Vegas I’d take the Cubs -3 runs…Cubs by 4-6 runs
CHICAGO WHITE SOX @ TAMPA BAY D-RAYS (OVA 9)
I luv Burls and luv that the Sox are rumored to have re-opened negotiations…on the other hand, I don’t luv the fact that he’ll be pitching today and dealing with all this shiznit. In addition, the Tampa has some awesome young hitters that are ova-due for a breakout game. As for the D-Ray on the mound, rookie Andy Sonnanstine is making the 5th start of his career and has an ERA ova 6. While the Sox bats haven’t been something to write home about lately, they have actually scored a few runs the last few days…Sox/Rays 11-14 total runs
HOUSTON ASTROS @ MILWAUKEE BREWERS (OVA 9.5)
Unfortunately Cub fans, it’s going to be awfully hard to catch the Brew Crew with all those youngsters slapping the ball around Miller Park. They’ve scored 6 or more runs in 6 of their last 7 games and have the luxury of facing a 40 year-old with an ERA close to 6 (Woody Williams). As for the Brewers starter, Jeff Suppan has looked ova 40 in his last few starts and overall has an ERA close to 5. I know the number is a little high today, but so am I…Astros/Brewers 11-14 total runs
CINCINNATI REDS @ PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES (UNDA 9.5)
Aaron Harang hasn’t given-up an earned run in 2 of his last 3 starts, while Jamie Moyer didn’t give-up anything in his last start. That’s enough for me…Reds/Phillies 3-6 total runs
ST. LOUIS CARDINALS @ NEW YORK METS (-1.5) (+105)
Met veteran Tom Glavine went 8 strong his last start giving-up 1 run, while Cardinal hurler Anthony Reyes would be in the minors if it weren’t for all the Red Bird’s injuries (0-9, 6.64). Once again, that’s enough for me…Mets by 3-6 runs