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July 2007 Archives

July 1, 2007

Happy 1st Birthday Greggy G Jr!

Sorry bout insideplays, I promised my lady no gamblin' on Jr's birthday this weekend. BTW, I hate lyin'!

July 2, 2007

MLB Special: 48-25 ATS…Holla at ur Boy!

In honor of Mark Buehrle’s probable last start as a Southsider, this write-up will be done in half the time. A promise this is last day of my BS, but all kinds of family are in-town with the 4th of July and Greggy G Jr’s 1st birthday. At least you have a few picks and pics…cause nuttin’ makes hangin’ with fam more fun than yelling UNO and watching the sports-ticker make my pockets fatter!

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July 3, 2007

MLB Special: 50-25 ATS…Sooo pretty!

My record looks sweeter than the Rebecca Gayheart rubbin’ a lil’ Noxema on her cheeks now that I’ve reached the 50 win plateau. Speaking of 50, you think the White Sux bullpen will blow that many games this year? And how about Miss A-Rod, wearing a shirt that says the opposite of “Have a nice day!”…frickin’ brilliant! Like the kids at Yankee stadium didn’t hear worse shiznit when Chuck Knoblauch was attempting a throw to 1st base.

As for the Free Agent courting in the NBA, looks like Johnny Pax is going Blue Light Special on our azz down-low with Joe “was I really the 1st pick in the ’95 draft” Smith and Chris “Underachieving & Injured” Mihm coming in for workouts. In all honesty, if Pax, Skiles, & Co. has decided not to swing a blockbuster, I guess a healthy Mihm would be a major improvement…like I said, IF he’s healthy. While FA Darko Milicic is only 22-years-old and looks to be changin’ addresses after the Magic vastly overpaid for a spot-up shooter (Rashard Lewis), I still don’t think he has much more between the ears than Isiah and probably will command closer to 10 mill a year. Anyway, family still in-town until after the holiday, but at least I went 2-0 ATS and fleeced my niece for $8 playing Hungry-Hungry Hippo last night. Have a blast anoche fellaz…gotta luv a mid-week holiday!

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July 4, 2007

MLB Special: 51-27 ATS...HAPPY 4TH!

Am I really just warmin'-up to Darko, or did I have too many root beer barrels last night? (Root Beer Schnapps + Shiznity Beer + Chug = Happy!). Never thought I'd say it, but I think the 22-year is worth an investment. Sorry about the lose last night...I'm not use to those either. Be safe this 4th Homeboys!

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July 5, 2007

MLB Special: 53-27 ATS…Greggy G 4-Life!

Closing out the 4th with a nice 2-0 evening made the Watermelon & Everclear taste even sweeter last night. As for the rumor that I’ve started to endorse Darko Milicic in Chicago, even after the Root Beer Barrels wore-off from Wednesday’s party, I still found myself somewhat intrigued about acquiring the 22 year-old 7-footer. If the Gasol/Nocioni rumor is untrue, I’d much rather pay lil’ extra for Darko if the other options are Chris “Aww...my foot!” Mihm or Joe “I’m super bored” Smith. Speaking of Andres, while Pax says he’ll match any offer, and I'm sure he hopes to, I think that’s more a ploy to keep other teams from even making an offer. Unfortunately, I have a feeling someone (Grizz) will be offering him more the 8 million a year, and I can’t see how the Bulls can justify paying Hinrich, Wallace, & Noce ova 30 million a year and expect to outscore the opponents. As for the latest on Garnett, if the Bulls can’t stomach his 20-25 million price-tag, the Warriors seem to have more young assets than Hugh Hefner to bring KG to Caly. The Wolves luv the potential of Tar Heel Brandon Wright, so I bet Mullin could throw-in last year's lottery pick Patrick O’Bryant, the 21-year old phenom Monta Ellis (2007 NBA most improved), Al Harrington, & another salary to make it work. While I’m sure McHale wants Andris Biedrins, the longer this thing drags-out the cheaper KG will become. You think Nellie's pushin’ hard to pair KG & Baron...ahhh, yeah.

And finally, in regards to Chicago baseball, will they please just trade Jacque Jones and sign/trade Mark Buehrle…I can’t stand hearing about this shiznit everday! Just like a new Britiney Spears koochie shot, I get sick simply at the thought. Anywho, time for some investments my friends…let’s finish this short-week off Vegas style baby!

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July 6, 2007

MLB Special: 54-29 ATS…Mo $, No problems

Grant Hill for unda $2M…looks like GM Steve Kerr is off to a nice start. While I don’t think he’ll pull-off a Garnett trade for PHX, I truly think their a solid back-up point (Brevin Night’s a crafty lil’ playmaker) and a Boris Diaw + draft-pick trade for an athletic big away from knockin’-off Timmy D. As for the diamond, I need to re-group after a 1-2 embarrassment last night. Gotta roll fellaz, meetings all day…what can I say, I’m an entrepreneur baby!

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July 7, 2007

MLB Daily Special: 55-29 ATS...Word!

The White Sox pitchers gave-up 32 frickin' runs yesterday...yeah, we don't need Burls right!? If owner Jerry Reinsdorf let Johnny Pax ova-pay for a hardworking fan favorite (Nocioni), I'm sure he'd let Kenny unda-pay for another hardworking fan favorite. Sushi and Sake last night, pizza and beer tonight, and maybe a lil' gamblin' on the docket today. Kill em' in Vegas Damian...I have a feelin' it's your lucky day!

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July 8, 2007

MLB Special: 55-30 ATS...Sunday Funday!

It’s hotter than Alyssa Milano in Poison Ivy 2 today! I need some covers on the diamond just to pay for my central-air…I mean when your condo is the size of Puffy’s, it takes a lil’ more than a rookie contract to get her cooled! Anyway, pretty boring day in the sports world yesterday, so much so, I even skipped Sportscenter and watched my Tivo’d “Girls Next Door” marathon last night. Think I can get my girl to paint-on her next party outfit…yeah, probably not. Have a splendid Sunday Funday fellaz, you know I will…cause $10 pitchers of Watermelon Vodka Lemonades and a Golden Tee machine are callin’ my name!

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July 9, 2007

Jerry's Weekend in Chicago!

While props should definitely be handed out to GMs Johnny Pax & Kenny Will for Noce & Burls comin’ back, I’m sending my luv (Ali Larter whip-cream to Johnny Mox style) to the man sitting in his own sky-box at both…Jerry Reinsdorf. Of course, we could argue about whether the Bulls ova-paid for Noce or if Buehrle’s value could have helped more in rebuilding the Sox “skill-challenged” farm system, but instead, I’d rather give the them kudos for re-signing two of their fan-favorites that have also helped re-shape the style and atmosphere of the two franchises. Lookin’ up-n-down both rosters, it’s obvious Reinsdorf has given his blessing to Kenny and Pax to spent his money on players dedicated to their craft. In a sports world full of underachieving superstars, it’s easy to justify ova-paying for ova-achieving 3rd-tier stars and role-players, especially if the contracts aren’t long-term for players rollin’ into their 30s. With the Bulls, we’ve see it with Captain Kirk and Big Ben, and on the Southside, we’ve seen it with Paulie, Javier, and Jermaine Dye’s 2005 deal.

Even more impressive to a selfish bastard like myself, was watchin’ both of them take a hometown discount. While family wishes played a role in keepin’ both in town, I strongly believe the confidence they had in the franchises to continue to built the right-way, and the relationships they had with the existing coaches and teammates played the biggest role. Just like on E! TV’s “The Girls Next Door”, in today’s day-n-age it’s considered a luxury to have teammates and roommates getting along to the point that they slap each other’s bottoms just for fun.

As for the Greggy G analysis of the moves, obviously the Buehrle signing was a no-brainer with all the money and years he was willing to give-up. Even though Kenny made diehard Sox fans double-up their Marlboro Red purchases the last few weeks, tough to rip a GM who signed one of the best starting pitching deals in last decade. As for the Bulls, I believe Nocioni could have gotten more money elsewhere, but the combination of his love for the team/city and Paxson’s brilliant move to convince other GMs he’d match any offer for the Argentinean kept him in red & black. With that said, we could argue like Michael Irvin trying to convince us he’s the greatest player/role model that Noce isn’t worth 5 years and 38 million, but we can’t argue about the versatility, passion, and winning attitude Andres brings to the Bulls young table. While I want a low-post star now and believe we have enough to offer without mortgaging all our talent, Paxson may not be ready for that risk just yet and seems extremely comfortable stockpiling young, hard-working talent. Maybe he’s taking the correct long-term approach, but in opinion, after watched the Eastern Conference playoffs this year...I think he may be missing a unique opportunity.

Wow, that was pretty frickin’ boring. Anyway, the All-Star break is upon us, so hopefully I can re-group with my scouts after a horrible ATS weekend and improve on my 55-33 record the second half. Until then, I have the Home Run Derby winner for ya, but if your shaking for some more action, just give me a call and I’ll send you my WNBA picks for toinght! Holla

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July 10, 2007

Greggy G's Baseball Magic Theory

As an ATS diamond guru (55-33) with more MLB experience than Alyssa Milano, I’m guessin’ you’ll be surprised to hear I believe in the mystical powers of 2nd-half “Baseball Magic”. I know it’s absurd for a mathematician, journalistic scholar, and co-founder of “ATS Investment Financial Services”, to believe in a legendary myth with more holes than The Carl Everett Snuff-a-luff-a-gus Dinosaur theory, but I can’t…I’ve witnessed it. You’re going to tell me Reggie Saunders doesn’t have pictures of the Great Diamond-Gods messing around with one of the Pussy Cat Dolls! I mean during the 2nd-half of the last 6 seasons, all of which I thought Reggie was retired, he hits like 20 HRs, bats .320, and sees nuttin’ but Jamie Navarro style fastballs. No way that’s a coincidence. If you don’t believe that, I have a few more stories you’ll see/hear over the final months of the season to make you a believer in “Baseball Magic”.

1. The Jose Mesa/Armando Benitez/Roberto Hernandez Mafia
To start, I’m not bashing the old, rapidly-expanding, closers who were all remarkable at certain points of their career…but are you as shocked as I am when you seem them on SportsCenter blowing a save in late August for a team not even close to the playoff-race. Is the rumor true that they are Hispanic reps for the Beisbol Gods and responsible for collecting a ballpark street-tax. I mean besides havin’ cool-facial hair and video-game style deliveries, why in Kobe Bryant’s World would you have these guys stealing innings from youngsters…what, you think they’ll sneak that 88 mph fastball past Albert Pujols in the 9th?

2. The Matt Stairs Softball Theory
First off, I’m a card-carrying member of the “I swear I say Matt Stairs on the other softball team last night”. It was 2002 at the North Avenue Beach Field 2, when the then Milwaukee Brewer strolled onto the field against our Murray’s Auto Parts squad and proceeded to belt 3 dingers into an e. coli-rich Lake Michigan. Since that day, I’ve heard of three other separate sightings of Mr. Stairs in softball pants, and in each case, Stairs was found in the box-score of his respective major league teams on that day. Is this man real, or should we call in the Olley Girls from Sunset Tan to help us figure-it out?

3. The Myth of Pat Burrell
Outside of the diehard Philly fandom, most casual baseball fans think Pat Burrell is simply slumping. Once a month on a Saturday afternoon, the always disappointing Phillies show-up on a nationally televised game and it always seems that Pat Burrell is sliddin’-up to the dish. And as soon as his average pops-up on the screen, an announcer says: “Tough-luck for Pat lately, he’s been stuck in 2-23 streak.” To be honest, checking-out his career averages (.256, 25 HRs a year, .360 OB%), I’m always shocked to see he’s actually been that productive…well, productive if you don’t count the 12-14 million a year they’ve been paying him. Thru my discussions with Phillie fans and Tom Cruise, I truly believe the Gods have snuck a few hits and HRs into his career totals.

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July 11, 2007

Greggy G's U-18 World Cup Soccer Picks

Hopefully Timmy Hardaway doesn’t take me off his X-Mas list when I say this, and I swear I’m too gay, but I have an infatuation with Ichiro that would make Amy Fisher proud. Can you blame my ATS All-Star victory azz? The newly signed Mariner looks like the perfect combination of a Grand Theft Auto character and a futuristic Sporting Goods catalog-model. Not to mention, he’s a scientist at the plate and moves smoother than a knife thru butter for happy-brownies. While you rarely find an athlete making this kind of cash worth every penny (5y-100M), with his world-wide marketability, unwavering consistency at the plate and in the field, and status as a clubhouse favorite, Ichiro is a steal in the realm of Mark Buehrle’s contract with the Southsiders.

With that said, while I’m amazed with Seattle’s superstar and still make my girl call-me Ee-chee-row a few times a year, does his lightning-quick speed make Tony Gwynn’s late career success even more impressive. I mean the last 6-7 years of Tony’s career he looked like he used Ichiro in a Maki Roll, while his knees would have made Danny Manning feel like running a marathon, and he still batted around .350 over that span. Shiznit, that’s crazier than Spud Webb winning the Slam Dunk Contest in 1986! Anyway, I gots 2 roll and I gots to get a new Box O’ Wine. No MLB action today, but don’t worry my fellow degenerates, Insideplays also scouts the U-20 World Cup and they have a doubleheader today!

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July 12, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Special: 56-33 ATS

After a day studying WNBA road-trends and the injury-report for Gambia’s soccer team, I’m shakin’ like a frat’tastic white-boy in a New Orleans jail-cell (not fun…I’ve heard) for some diamond action today. While the 1st half of MLB ATS action was nicer than a Polack strollin’ thru the DePaul campus, just like in the NBA, everybody knows Mr. Gamble gets filthier than a pop-star without Underoos in the 2nd. Of course, with my long-time basketball scouting blood (U-14 Mid-Suburban Church League Scout) still shootin’ threw me like a pass thru the hands of Muhsin Muhammad, I have to give ya a lil’ NBA Summer League action to feed my fix. Don’t worry, you don’t have to thank me, I do it out of luv Homeboys. So without further ado (unless you bastards just skip this and check the pick and hottie), I give you my NBA ‘Crappy’ Summer League notables:

MARCUS BANKS, PG, 6-2, Phoenix Suns
1 gm, 32 min, 42 points, 6 reb, 13-19 FG, 4-5 3-pt, 12-14 FT,
2003, 1 round – 13 pick, Memphis Grizzlies

GM Steve Kerr should sit Banks the rest of the summer, even including practice, and madly work the phones to trade the lightning-kick, turnover-prone, former Runnin’ Rebel before he returns his trade-stock to Speedy Claxton territory. While Banks strength, speed, and balance enables him to breakdown anybody up-top, once in the paint he struggles to make the right decisions and doesn’t understand how to control the flow of the offense…not a good selling-point for a point guard making $17M ova the next 4 years! If I was helping Stevie, I'd tell him to call Sacramento cause they have a boat-load of bad-contracts to choose from.

JELANI MCCOY, PF, Denver Nuggets
2 gm, 26 mpg, 13 ppg, 13 rpg, 2.5 bpg, 92 fg%
1998, 2 round – 33 pick, Seattle Supersonics

Out of the NBA since he played 10 games for Atlanta Hawks during 2004-05 season, the former UCLA Bruin looked like a dominating YMCA vet looking to show-up the youngsters back from college. The NBA vagabond made 12 of 13 shots, leads the summer league in rebounding, and made some awesome angry-old-man faces every time he swatted the rock. While it may not be with the Nuggets, I’m guessing McCoy’s performance just purchased himself another ticket to the big-show. And more importantly, now that he’s finally back I expect him to bounce around to at least 4 or 5 teams ova the next 5 years…Chucky Brown style baby!

LOUIS WILLIAMS, G, 6-1, Philadelphia 76ers
5 gm, 34 mpg, 25 ppg, 5 rpg, 5 apg, 49 fg%, 41 3pt%
2005, 2 round - 45 pick, Philly 76ers

While the Warriors rookie Marco Belinelli has been the obvious surprise star of the summer, the former High School draftee has quietly added some strength, improved his playmaking, and surprised everyone in his ability to sneak some rebounds with his 6’1” frame. A remarkable athlete with more similarities to Monta Ellis than Allen Iverson, Williams is one of the few undersized HS guards that came-in with a freelance style to really dedicate himself to changing his overall approach. While this improvement can be most notably found his shot-selection, if he hopes to maximize his potential he needs to continue to develop as point-guard, and not a scoring guard. No reason to think he can’t do that, and no reason to think you can’t start braggin’ about this up-n-comer to your friends.

KELENNA AZUBUIKE, G, 6-5, Golden St. Warriors
2 gm, 29 mpg, 21 ppg, 6 rpg, 47 fg%, 50 3pt%
2006, Free Agent, Golden State

While the trade with ‘His Airness’ was a no-brainer for GM Chris Mullin (Jason Richardson for Brandon Wright), it was even easier than a professional athlete at a strip-club to pull the trigger with the hardworking former Kentucky Wildcat's unexpected success last season. Azubuike already has the strength and speed to compete nightly on the wing, and overall, reminds me of a better shooting, less insane, version of Rueben “Drop your Pants” Patterson. As an owner of Warrior Zubaz, I’ve patiently waited for the unbelievable potential of Mickael Pietrus to develop past 4 fouls in 10 minutes, but I think it’s finally time to give his minutes to the England-born Azubuike. With Baron Davis playing defense half-the-time and Monta Ellis undersized, Nellie desperately needs his toughness, unselfishness, and court-awareness. But the real reason I think Azubuike’s summer results are important, I think it gives Mullin more confidence to throw Ellis or Pietrus in a deal to finally go get KG!

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July 13, 2007

Home of Greggy G's MLB Special: 57-33 ATS

While throwing back a few Coronas and braggin’ about Insideplays last night, a couple of my third-tier friends were complaining that I never reviewed the Bulls Draft. Since my only suggestion box is located wherever I’m bellied-up to the bar, I promised the dude (whose name I always forget) I’d give him a full breakdown today if he let me bum a couple smokes. So, as a man of my word (50% of the time) and before I give away some more winners and hotties, I give you the 2007 Bulls Draft breakdown:

JOAKIM NOAH - 1st Round 9th pick
PF 6-11 232 lbs. Age: 22 Florida
A two-time defending National Champ, Joakim Noah fits the bill of the Paxson, Skiles, & Co. era: Tireless worker/gym-rat, athletic, developed at a big-time program, and not likely to be spotted at places like the Admiral Theater or late night in China-Town. While the majority of Bulls fans seem disappointed in the pick with some even despising the animated style of Joakim’ness, his value is high around the league and rarely do find an athletic frontcourt player with coordination and court-sense this high in the draft. Even with a low-post game similar to Bill Cartwright with two left-hands, Noah’s a solid rebounder with remarkable defensive awareness and already better than most NBA Bigs on the dribble and with the pass. With that said, I honestly believe he’s a perfect fit alongside a low-post scorer and has the most value to a team without a defensive presence, and last time I checked…aaahhh…we have plenty of one and not the other. Paxson now has three players (Tyrus Thomas, Ben Wallace, & Joakim Noah) that are all better defensively than most teams top frontcourt defender, and I have a feeling GMs are drooling to get their hands on one of them. In the NBA, the only way to trade for a veteran low-post stud is to give-up a young frontcourt phenom and throw-in some short-dudes with respectable contracts….and you know what, we can do that. Give Skiles a behemoth on the block and we’ll have an Eastern Conference Title in Chicago by next year. I know it’s easier said than done, but with all the young assets the Bulls have stockpiled it’s easier then it’ll ever be. Overall, I’m a bigger fan of Noah than most, but with this Bulls crew, if they pass the trading deadline this season and all three of their no-offense bigs are on the roster, for the first time, I’m not happy with Paxson’s draft.

AARON GRAY - 2nd Round 49th pick
C 7-1 270 lbs. Age: 22 Pittsburg
The senior from a solid Pittsburg program has averaged 14 ppg and 10 rpg over the last two seasons, and could currently be considered the best low-post threat on the Bulls roster. Unfortunately, he makes Michael Sweetney look like Carl Lewis and hasn’t improved much physically over the last few years. While thick enough to bang-down low, he’s very undefined and doesn’t have any spring in his legs. While polished with an array of moves with his back to the basket, he doesn’t have a mid-range game and actually had his worst season at FT line (55%) in his four-year career…not a good sign. I know the Bulls need size and some low-post scoring, but I can’t see how Gray’s athletic shortcomings enable him to see the floor in Skiles’ up-tempo system. At the same time, not much of a risk her at #49, and he would have been a late first round selection last year had he stayed in the draft.

JAMESON CURRY - 2nd Round 51st pick
G 6-3 190 lbs Age: 21 Oklahoma State
I’m definitely not a fan of undersized two-guards, especially ones that are turnover-prone and have a poor shot-selection. While Curry lit-it-up this season for an undermanned Cowboy squad (17 ppg, 41 3pt%), he’s the definition of a streaky shooter and rarely gives much of an effort at the defensive end. Most easily compared to the Nets Eddie House for his ability to score in bunches and not really play the point, Curry has also had some documented problems with the evil weed and should struggle to stay-out of Skiles’ doghouse…if he even makes the team. Especially, if the Bulls gets rid of Chris “I over-slept” Duhon as has been rumored, they’ll need a true-point to spell Captain Kirk. With the 51st pick, I’m guessing Pax figured the risk/reward was better than most left on the board, but I was shocked he went with an undisciplined poor man’s Ben Gordon.

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July 14, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Special: 58-34.5 ATS

Rollin’ to a wedding fellaz, hopefully they’ll have a sports-ticker at the church. Enjoy the weekend and don’t let them catch you drivin’ dirty!

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July 15, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Special: 59-34.5 ATS

Sunday Funday is in full-effect…got a buzz from my V-8 this mornin’. Maybe I shouldn't have added Tequila.

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July 16, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Special: 59-35.5 ATS

Getting’ burned by the -1.5 runs in the Yanks victory yesterday is like ordering a movie in your hotel room and realizing they only show action from the waist up. Still going to ride the Bronx Bombers like a business man in China-town, but man do I hate rooting for those bastards. As for my White Sox, not only do they suck, but they’re boring as hell! I’ve purposely only watched them twice in the last month and have actually substituted them with The Next frickin’ Food Network Star on my favorites. I’m mean seriously, do you really want to spend your evenings watching Juan Uribe falling-over as he swings at a ball in the dirt or watch Jermaine Dye age right before our very eyes…I think not.

And how about the Bulls finally grabbin’ a low-post star in Joe Smith…what!? In all honesty, if Johnny Pax doesn’t have the cohones to trade for a superstar, I’d rather see Tyrus Thomas on the floor than Joe “I kinda like basketball” Smith. And in a year when Rashard Lewis is paid almost 20 million a season, how the hell did the Grizz get away with only givin’ Darko 7 million (rumored). A know he’s a lil spacey at times, but an athletic 22 year-old 7-footer with a soft touch should dominate the market…maybe he’s using Scottie Pippen’s old agent. I luv ya Paxson, but for another 1.5 million I would have rather had Milicic. Take it light Homeboys…it’s only Monday!

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July 17, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Special: 59-38.5 ATS

My 2nd half ATS performance so far has me thinking its October and I’m A-Rod striding to the dish with runners in scoring position. But don’t fret Homeboys, just like Darryl Strawberry I’m never gonna quit! Speaking of unique MLB personalities, it looks like the ornery/crusty hustling Jason Kendall will be fighting and scratching for the Cubbies post-season push. I career .300 hitter heading into the season, the 33 year-old Kendall has struggled mightily this year in Oakland (.226, 2 HR, 22 RBI), and I’m guessing GM Jim Hendry is hopeful a return to his old stompin’ grounds in the NL Central (Pirates 1996-2004) will be exactly what the feisty backstop needs. A lead-off hitter for most his career, the once speedy catcher has slowed considerably, but still can knock in a clutch run or lean into a pitch when needed. While I’m not as enamored with the move as most, if anything, at least we’re assured of watching another bench-clearing brawl in Chicago…the dude’s crazier than Nick Nolte in a Hawaiian shirt!

Moving on to more important things (no, not the NBA Summer League or an Asia Carrera sighting), it appears the Professional Pigskin Season is starting to stir-up some chatter not related to “Makin’ it Rain” or “Drivin’ Dirty”. In Chi-Town, we’ve already heard Tommie Harris request Donovan McNabb, Lance Briggs request Brian Urlacher money, and Urlacher’s baby’s momma request Brian take some child-rearing classes. As for Briggs, while I usually have more sympathy for football holdouts (injury risk vs non-guaranteed contracts), in this case, I hope Lance doesn’t have a TO complex and is simply bluffing about sitting-out. Take the 7.2 Million, get the Bears to guarantee they won’t franchise you next year, and take your solid (but not great) azz to the open market in 2008. For the Bears, if they have no plans to keep him after this season, I don’t understand why they didn’t pull the trigger on the Washington deal. While nobody really wins in this situation, it does remind me of the Chicken/Tractor battle in Footloose and I have a feeling Jerry Angelo’s shoelace is stuck!

And finally, what team is going to be 'Brittany Spears' enough to take Steve Francis. I don’t care if it’s for the veteran’s minimum (1.1 M), he’ll always give-up twice as many points as he scores and I guarantee his maligned-azz finds its way into a coaches doghouse by the All-Star break. Gotta roll fellaz, and once again, I apologize for my miserable performance on the diamond the last few days. But no need to pout like Stevie Franchise, you know I’m like Rocky Balboa…I always rise back up!

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July 18, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Special: 60-39.5 ATS

As much as I’d luv to open with the dog-lovin’ Ronny Mex, there was news yesterday on a scale bigger than…well, let’s say Dmitri Young on a scale. And the best part, there’s no need for a smoky water contraption or funky mushrooms to get the laughter rollin’ on this one cause the great Stephon Marbury has once again opened his mouth to reporters. As reported in the New York Post, the self-proclaimed Starbury has plans to play in Italy once his contract expiries in two years. The remarkable Obi-Wan Kenobi revelation surfaced following his trip to Italy, combined with the response David Beckham received on his arrival from overseas. Marbury sees himself as Beckham type of commodity and doesn’t believe it’s a coincidence that he'll be the same age as David (32) when his contract is up in 2009. What can I say…I’m not tryin’ to make fun of the dude, but he actually called this journey the “Starbury Movement”! And briefly back to Ronny Tijuana’s brother Michael Vick, just like the lost girl in Aruba and the Mike Danton Hired-Killer/Gay-lover hockey story, I can’t stop reading every detail about this shiznit. The depths of the Dog-Fighting World is spookier than the drug-invested lifestyles of professional wrestlers, and has forced me to move Michael Vick ahead of Mark Chmura on my NFL Scum-ball Top 10.

As for the diamond, while I’m sure you guys remember me pleading with you to bet the Yankees for the first 20 games after the All-Star Break (5-1 so far), I’d also like to caution you on betting against a team the rest of the 2nd half…The TB frickin' Devil Rays! With no pressure on the youngsters and a line-up littered with speed and power, the Rays are capable of scoring 8-10 runs on any given night. Not to mention, every team playin' in that terribly-boring ballpark wishes they were somewhere else. Trust a long-time baseball maven and just stay away from investing your kid’s college money on Tampa. I actually think you'd have better odds bettin' the White Sox bullpen to have an ERA unda 6.00 by season’s end…on second thought, probably not. Peace-out my young degenerates and make sure to enjoy the beautiful day, and more importantly, a Mark Grace type of night!

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July 19, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Special: 61-40.5 ATS

This write-up is gonna be quicker than my 1st time followin’ the High School Turnabout Dance…my excuse was I didn’t have an older brother to explain how to add alcohol into the mix! I apologize, but I’m selling my palatial Chicago estate (3rd-floor shitty-condo w/o deck or elevator), and the potential buyers are doing their inspection today. Even though I closed my underground salamander-fighting ring, I’m nervous they may find all the dead-newts I have buried all-over the property. Anyway, I’ll have all kinds of goodies for ya tomorrow, but for today, just enjoy the picks and the pics.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell ya…I saw 3 different sports’ websites casting a poll asking if fans thought Ronny Mex’s image was permanently tarnished. ARE YOU FRICKIN’ KIDDING ME…that’s like asking the Handicapped-Community if they collect Cade McNown football cards! Take it light Fellaz

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July 20, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Special: 63-41.5 ATS

With a White Russian (and a splash of Ouzo) to celebrate a 2-1 ATS evening, I began practicing my Worm-style dealing (‘Rounders’ reference…deal yourself pocket-pairs) for a card-game I have tonight. It’s like my grandma used to say when she’d rake-in my allowance money playing Go-Fish: “Whoever said cheaters never win, must have been a shitty-cheater!” I luv ya Grandma Gamble! Anyway, looking forward to a John Daley type of night…smokin’, drinkin’, chewin’, gamblin’, and gettin’ stabbed in the face by a chick, and ready to bore the poker table with NBA Summer League picks…It’s all about distractions baby! But before I roll onto my MLB picks and my beautiful pics, I have a few thoughts for ya:

Yes, I know I said that Brandon “90210” Walsh would help a racing-team more than Stevie “Pouty-Lipped” Franchise would help an NBA roster, but I have to say I like the move by the Rockets. Besides the fact that Houston is probably the only place outside of Maryland that still houses some of his fans, they also need a scoring-guard to slide into T-Mac’s spot when his back gives out like a 30-something halfway thru a gang-bang. In addition, new coach Rick Adelman seems to do pretty well with point-guards that don’t play defense (Mike Bibby/Sacramento), and also gives him another option behind the current, unimpressive group of Rocket floor-generals (Rafer Alston, Mike James, Aaron Brooks). I’m not saying I’d take him…I’m just saying I understand!

I’m so sick of hearing how the Falcons pulled a Matt Millen because they traded Matt Schaub (for multiple draft-picks) knowing Vick may have some legal trouble coming-up. Especially if Ronny Mex is cut by the Falcons and they have to take a huge cap-hit, draft-picks are the most economically feasible way to help your organization. In addition, while Joey Harrington has never been spectacular, he heads into his sixth season with tons of NFL starts and should look better with this cast compared to the garbage he had in Detroit and the miserable situation in Miami last year. Schaub may be the real-deal, but honestly, nobody knows. We’ll check back on this situation a couple weeks into the season because I have a feeling our doggy-lover won’t take a snap this year…

I guarantee PETA will be picketing the NFL offices and Falcon facilities until somebody finally breaks-down. If Vick was smart (sorry, that doesn’t make sense), he’d make life much easier for Arthur Blank and himself if he just asked for permission to concentrate on his legal situation. I’m amazed how many expects think because of the legal issues with the Falcons and the league that Ron-Ron will be lacing-up the cleats. Those things may be true, but I think their underestimating what some angry vegans and Westminster Dog Show participants can accomplish when given a national forum like this.

It’s not YI JIANLIAN’S fault
The hatred I’m hearing about this poor Chinese kid is ridiculous. Whether you think he’ll be a bust or not, doesn’t matter (Greggy G says give him 3 years). Do not compare this to Steve Francis acting like 6-year-old about moving to Canada or Danny Ferry feeling he’s too good for the Clippers, because those lil-BEEATCHES made their own bed. In Yi’s case, he has absolutely no-power in this situation, and if anything, is forced to act as though he supports whatever his government says. Nuttin’ sums-up the situation more than watching how Chinese officials have thrown the great Yao Ming under the bus and chastised him for taking a break from his National Team responsibilities. My second favorite Asian (Kobe Tai is #1) has been ova here for years, given millions back, and has always been supportive of the National Team…and this is how they treat him. If anything, Yao’s success ova-seas has made the Chinese government feel they need to take more control ova the players entering the NBA. The whole situation can be summed-up by how the Ming’onator initiated a respond to a media question this week: “I know Chinese law protects people's right of speech, but…” Enough said!

Finally, did you hear the NBA has found-out that one of its officials has been gambling on games he’s be working? I hope my uncle…I mean the ref deleted his in-coming call history. If not, anybody have a place in Mexico I can stay!

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July 21, 2007

Home of Greggy G's MLB Special: 66-42.5 ATS

Yippee Ki Yay, MotherBeeatches! Rolled-in at 4 last night (Spud Webb’s #) after a MJ type of night throwin’ around some Aces & Kings…and what can I say, I walked away with a lil’ more than I came with. Great times with lots o beers, lots o trash-talk, and lots o cash for my Homeboy Tech Support. Let’s keep the magic rollin’ tonight like PT Willis on the 2-mintue drill. Enjoy the beautiful day and make sure to tell your woman she’s still a hottie!

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July 22, 2007

Home of Greggy G's MLB Picks: 67-43.5 ATS

I’m crib shoppin’ today Homeboys…hopefully I can rip someone off! The funny thing about lookin’ at mansions, I can’t believe how many only have 3–car garages. I guess most these folks don’t have a White Tiger to house. Have a splendid Sunday Funday fellaz, and make to sure to check-out my NBA Referee Gamblin’ Theory tomorrow!

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July 23, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Special: 67-44.5 ATS

Nuttin’ like an NBA conspiracy-theory to start-off a wild weekend. While I was searchin' the internet like a drunken Dungeon & Dragons playa home-alone with a bottle of Jergen’s to find-out all the details, by Sunday I was ready to vomit from all the sky is falling NBA articles. Listen, with fans thinking the refs and the league already have a hidden agenda I know this comes at a bad time, but please, stop acting like this is similar to the Black Sox scandal. In all honesty, I can’t believe it hasn’t happened before. I’m not saying Tim Donaghy isn’t a slime-ball, but from what I hear, he’s just a degenerate gambler who got into some trouble and was bullied into a horrible decision. I guarantee after realizing the mob doesn’t let you make them some money and then walk-away, Mr. Donaghy was hoping to get caught because there was no-way this thing was going to end nicely. As for the fall-out, Mariotti (Sun-Times) and Simmons (ESPN…hilarious) will continue to write that NBA world has changed and we’ll definitely hear fans joke about this with every bad call: “Looks like Henry Hill had a cocktail with ____ last night”, but as you know, I’m a glass half-full kinda guy. The jokes will continue, but I guarantee the refereeing will get better and their Napoleon-Complex may actually subside for awhile. The big-boy Sports Writers can make this as big a deal as they want, but for Greggy G, I’ll enjoy hearing what he did, but will still analyze the 12th-man on every bench and enjoy the professional hardwood as much as I did yesterday.

On to the diamond Homeboys...with three more winners and hotties for ya. BTW, didn't I tell you to bet the Yanks ever game after the all-star break?

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July 24, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Special: 70-44.5 ATS

What can I say, 3-0 ATS…it’s like I have a NBA ref and Mrs. Gretzky on speed-dial! And how about our friend Ronny Mex…I told ya last week the experts were idiots to think Vick would ever play this season. Don’t f*ck with dog lovers, PETA has more clout than our president and the Olsen twins combined! But enough about how cool I am, let’s keep it rollin’ like Lindsey Lohan without her ankle bracelet. Before I get to my gamblin’ magic and plenty of hotties, let’s hit-up some fantasy football notes for you fools:


1. Rex Grossman (CHC) is a steal in round 22 and great for those speciality 6-foot & unda leagues

2. Don’t waste a pick on Ahman Green (HOU) and be careful of the Joseph Addai (IND) hype. The Cornhusker has 9 years of grind on his fumbling-frame, while the Texans should be passing most of the 2nd half due to gettin’ their azz-kicked. As for Addai, I’m a big fan, but can’t see how the undersized-RB will make it through the season carrying the full-load…especially playing on concrete.

3. If your league gives credit for dropped balls, grab Muhsin Muhammad (CHI)

4. While not very pretty, Jon Kitna’s (DET) numbers will be sexy this year with Roy Williams, Calvin Johnson, & Mike Furrey

5. Former Bear Thomas Jones (NYJ) will be a top-7 point-scorer for RBs, while Maurice “Grey Goose” Clarett’s book “How to Destroy you Career in 7-steps” is a must read.

6. Charlie Garner (PHI) won me a Fantasy League last year, but his knees looked shakier than then my azz when the lady’s out-of-town.

7. I hate him like Roger Clemens, Kobe, & Keanu Reeves, but TO's (DAL) gonna blow-up this year on the field.

On to the diamond my friends…where I Make it Rain from center of my Guitar!

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July 25, 2007

Home of Greggy G's MLB Special: 71-46.5 ATS

Gamblin', Drinkin', & softball went a lil late last night...just pulled into my driveway a couple hours ago. Enjoy my quick picks and pics!

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July 26, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Special: 74-46.5 ATS

Besides goin' 3-0 ATS again, I don’t remember much else from yesterday. I know I was at Walgreen’s buying socks at some point to go bowling and vaguely remember losing $50 playing Golden Tee. I did wake-up on someone’s sofa with only $2.75 and a Smirnoff Ice bottle-cap in my pocket, which usually means I had a Totino’s pizza last night as well. As for the sports-world, I’m shocked that a cyclist stuck a needle in his azz and can't believe Curt Shilling has an opinion about the Bonds' topic. While the Lance Briggs 1-year signing is a hot-topic in Chi-town, there was no-way he was sitting-out and passing on ova 7-million this year. Dude made less than 1-mill last year and the Bears simply called his bluff. I’m a fan of the tackling machine, but he’s also a product of Lovie’s system and has the luxury of lining-up next to Urlacher. Hopefully he'll have a great year and get some major paper from somone else in '08. Anyway, I’m grabbin’ a bloody & a bagel and heading to the Museum…Not because I like dinosaur bones, but because that’s where I meet my guy! Holla

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July 27, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Special: 74-48.5 ATS

Anybody know where I can find some Milk Thistle or a Diet Rockstar? Having one of those mornings where I’m convinced I need to stop acting like child-pop star and contemplating a move to the Peace Core. On second thought, maybe I just need a Bacon, Egg, & Cheese Biscuit…enjoy the Friday and make sure to tell my lady I was a good-boy while she was gone.

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July 28, 2007

Home of Greggy G's MLB Picks: 74-49.5 ATS

Since you traded my favorite Kenny, you might as well trade the rest! I'm leaving town, but will be back tomorrow with some extra banter...and hopefully an ATS victory. Holla

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July 29, 2007

Home of Greggy G's MLB picks: 74-50.5

I hate losing streaks!

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July 30, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 75-50.5 ATS

I have an itch worse than Tommy Lee’s undercarriage for the Pigskin season to start. As I perused that MLB probable starters for today (Gil “totally-average” Meche, Ted “Pitching out of my azz” Lilly, etc.), my mind wandered to a season where the ambidextrous QB Timmy Tebow will cover 36 against Western Kentucky, some new short-tailback at Northern Illinois will rush for 250 ypg, and a Miami (FL) brawl will showcase Hurricane players beating opposing fans with padlocks and a Gatorade table. As for the NFL, besides the fantasy fun, we’ll have daily newsbreaks on whose holding out, whose blown-out (knee, achilles, etc.), and which Bengal has few gats under his passenger seat. What else do you need!?

As for the professional hardwood, we have more NBA chatter with KG revisiting a move to Beantown. While I think a combo of KG, Paul Pierce, & Ray Allen will look good next year, Danny Ainge is a more trouble than a dude with a mullet on “Cops” if they don’t make the Conference Finals. By the 2008-09 season, those three will make a combined 60 million and average 32 years of age...I’m guessin’ Greenspan will agree that’s not a good combo! And even next year, what’s the ova/unda on how many games all three will be on the floor and not sporting a suit that costs more than Lohan’s coke-habit. I’d say 38!

Anyway, a great weekend of recovery for Greggy G as I actually slept more than 4 hours per evening, took my Flintstone Vitamins, and didn’t fall-down the stairs and sprain my ankle for the 21st time. While my gamblin’-effort was poor, just like Tim Donaghy has taught us, it’s much more important just not to get caught. Have a good week Homeboys!

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July 31, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 75-51.5 ATS For News and News Matter Only!

Why waste time telling you my MLB record is falling faster than Ronny Mex’s lunchbox sales when we have more sports’ balls in the hopper than a club with a pole in the center. Plus, the best thing about a losing streak from yours truly is that you know the W’s are around the corner like a pair of high-heels in Amsterdam. So with that, grab some popcorn, a glass of scotch, and your favorite pair of Zubaz…it’s time for Greggy’s Glance:


First off, KG moving to the Eastern Conference will look like a Florida St. cheerleader transferring to the MAC to become a Flag-Twirler. Secondly, whether it works or not, I’m now more intrigued to watch the Celtics than I was to see the new Fabio-body Kyle Orton is reportedly shown-off in Bears’ camp. Picture this Celtic offense: You have Jesus spottin’-up from the wing, the un-chiseled by crafty Pierce on the block, and Kevin at the high-post makin’ Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry nervously choke on their cheeseburger. Sure Boston doesn’t have anybody else right-now on the roster, but they still have the mid-level exception and the veteran’s min. available to sign some bodies.

If GM Greg Gamble were running the show, it’s a no-brainer…F/C Brian Skinner & Eddie House split the mid-level and P.J. Brown takes the veteran’s min. While experts say Boston needs a true-point, Rajon Rando will be forced to play huge minutes in the backcourt because of his tremendous D to make-up for Ray & Paul’s. And in short spurts, nobody spreads the floor like Castin’ Eddie House (picture him on the opposite wing from Ray-Ray as KG and Paul work inside), while P.J. Brown and Brian Skinner understand how to stay out of the way and will provide rebounding and team-defense. Now before we start sucking each-others nipples just yet, I will say that this deal requires all three of these stars to stay healthy for at least 85% of the season. Unfortunately, I think Scott Baio has better chance of not being called Charles at the bar than that happening. If even one of these guys goes down…this is .500 team. And with their age and 60 million a year between them, if Ainge doesn’t win the East in the next two years Isiah won’t have to worry about looking like the biggest fool in the East.

Oh yeah, as for the T-Wolves, while some of their pieces are nice, they have no idea what they have and what direction they’re going. To McHale’s credit, if two or three of these guys turn-out (Brewer, Foye, Jefferson, Green, etc.) they’ll have plenty of cap-space the next few years to fill-in around them. By then, hopefully The Mayor (Fred Hoiberg) has taken over all personnel decisions. And finally, McHale should sign PG Brevin Knight immediatley! With 20 young guards & forwards that all luv to shoot, the veteran distributor is a perfect fit and will teach these boys how to space the floor and stay out of trouble on the road...oh yeah, and he's ridiculously cheap.


I had Frankie “No-Knees” Gore on my Fantasy Squad (Spud Webb’s Pony) last year and fell in love faster than Jennifer Lopez does with…well, anybody. With that said, and I hope I’m wrong, I was skeptical of his durability before the hand injury. While the time without contact may be a blessing for his reconstructed knees this preseason, I’m guessing he’ll be cautious running through the hole the 1st few weeks (Do I protect the ball or my hand), and by then, your playing with fire that he can make it through the rest of the season without some knee problems. Nobody works harder than the former Hurricane and I’m sure he’ll be in great shape when the season opens, but I’ll let someone else be disappointed when they select him in the 1st round.


By the time you read this, hopefully the Cubs have acquired another starting pitcher and a CF/OF. I know the lefty starters (Lilly, Hill, Marshall) have been a bigger surprise than seeing Dill Pickle flavored Sunflower Seeds at 7-11 (no joke!), but if the Cubs want to make some noise in the playoffs they need some insurance. Jason Marquis is destined to have his ERA creep into the 5s, while you have to assume at least one of the southpaws will be figured-out the second time around. As for CF/OF, of course Griffey Jr. is my 1st choice (you could easily deal with the awesome glove/awful bat of Felix Pie if Jr’s offsetting him in RF), and Jay Payton is the rumored choice, but how about this sleeper…Southsider Darin Erstad. While he’s more injury prone than Danny Manning, he’s been resting all year and ready to prove he’s still got game at 33. The dude still plays a solid CF, looked sharp at the plate early in the year, has playoff experience, and Hendry can probably get him for a Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast and Ronnie Woo Woo. Quickly, back to Griffey, I don’t care if the Cubs have to ova pay because he'd almost guarantee the Cubbies will play someone in the AL again this year. Could you frickin’ image a line-up that had Alfonso, D-Lee, Ram, & Griff? That’s like telling my 90210 is coming back and it’s going to be on Cinamax!


You think captain krabby-pants was happy hearing KG got a new address…hehehehehehehehehe

Enough banter…back to the bread-butter, or what we call it around my house lately: “A bad habit!” Take it light Homeboys, and make sure to…PARTY LIKE A LO, PARTY LIKE A LOHAN!

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About July 2007

This page contains all entries posted to Inside Plays in July 2007. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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