Why waste time telling you my MLB record is falling faster than Ronny Mex’s lunchbox sales when we have more sports’ balls in the hopper than a club with a pole in the center. Plus, the best thing about a losing streak from yours truly is that you know the W’s are around the corner like a pair of high-heels in Amsterdam. So with that, grab some popcorn, a glass of scotch, and your favorite pair of Zubaz…it’s time for Greggy’s Glance:
KG JOINS PAULIE & SHUTTLESWORTH IN BEANTOWN
First off, KG moving to the Eastern Conference will look like a Florida St. cheerleader transferring to the MAC to become a Flag-Twirler. Secondly, whether it works or not, I’m now more intrigued to watch the Celtics than I was to see the new Fabio-body Kyle Orton is reportedly shown-off in Bears’ camp. Picture this Celtic offense: You have Jesus spottin’-up from the wing, the un-chiseled by crafty Pierce on the block, and Kevin at the high-post makin’ Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry nervously choke on their cheeseburger. Sure Boston doesn’t have anybody else right-now on the roster, but they still have the mid-level exception and the veteran’s min. available to sign some bodies.
If GM Greg Gamble were running the show, it’s a no-brainer…F/C Brian Skinner & Eddie House split the mid-level and P.J. Brown takes the veteran’s min. While experts say Boston needs a true-point, Rajon Rando will be forced to play huge minutes in the backcourt because of his tremendous D to make-up for Ray & Paul’s. And in short spurts, nobody spreads the floor like Castin’ Eddie House (picture him on the opposite wing from Ray-Ray as KG and Paul work inside), while P.J. Brown and Brian Skinner understand how to stay out of the way and will provide rebounding and team-defense. Now before we start sucking each-others nipples just yet, I will say that this deal requires all three of these stars to stay healthy for at least 85% of the season. Unfortunately, I think Scott Baio has better chance of not being called Charles at the bar than that happening. If even one of these guys goes down…this is .500 team. And with their age and 60 million a year between them, if Ainge doesn’t win the East in the next two years Isiah won’t have to worry about looking like the biggest fool in the East.
Oh yeah, as for the T-Wolves, while some of their pieces are nice, they have no idea what they have and what direction they’re going. To McHale’s credit, if two or three of these guys turn-out (Brewer, Foye, Jefferson, Green, etc.) they’ll have plenty of cap-space the next few years to fill-in around them. By then, hopefully The Mayor (Fred Hoiberg) has taken over all personnel decisions. And finally, McHale should sign PG Brevin Knight immediatley! With 20 young guards & forwards that all luv to shoot, the veteran distributor is a perfect fit and will teach these boys how to space the floor and stay out of trouble on the road...oh yeah, and he's ridiculously cheap.
FRANK GORE BREAKS HAND – BACK FOR OPENER
I had Frankie “No-Knees” Gore on my Fantasy Squad (Spud Webb’s Pony) last year and fell in love faster than Jennifer Lopez does with…well, anybody. With that said, and I hope I’m wrong, I was skeptical of his durability before the hand injury. While the time without contact may be a blessing for his reconstructed knees this preseason, I’m guessing he’ll be cautious running through the hole the 1st few weeks (Do I protect the ball or my hand), and by then, your playing with fire that he can make it through the rest of the season without some knee problems. Nobody works harder than the former Hurricane and I’m sure he’ll be in great shape when the season opens, but I’ll let someone else be disappointed when they select him in the 1st round.
CUBS NEED TO MAKE A MOVE
By the time you read this, hopefully the Cubs have acquired another starting pitcher and a CF/OF. I know the lefty starters (Lilly, Hill, Marshall) have been a bigger surprise than seeing Dill Pickle flavored Sunflower Seeds at 7-11 (no joke!), but if the Cubs want to make some noise in the playoffs they need some insurance. Jason Marquis is destined to have his ERA creep into the 5s, while you have to assume at least one of the southpaws will be figured-out the second time around. As for CF/OF, of course Griffey Jr. is my 1st choice (you could easily deal with the awesome glove/awful bat of Felix Pie if Jr’s offsetting him in RF), and Jay Payton is the rumored choice, but how about this sleeper…Southsider Darin Erstad. While he’s more injury prone than Danny Manning, he’s been resting all year and ready to prove he’s still got game at 33. The dude still plays a solid CF, looked sharp at the plate early in the year, has playoff experience, and Hendry can probably get him for a Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast and Ronnie Woo Woo. Quickly, back to Griffey, I don’t care if the Cubs have to ova pay because he'd almost guarantee the Cubbies will play someone in the AL again this year. Could you frickin’ image a line-up that had Alfonso, D-Lee, Ram, & Griff? That’s like telling my 90210 is coming back and it’s going to be on Cinamax!
HOW’S LIFE IN LAKERLAND KOBE?
You think captain krabby-pants was happy hearing KG got a new address…hehehehehehehehehe
Enough banter…back to the bread-butter, or what we call it around my house lately: “A bad habit!” Take it light Homeboys, and make sure to…PARTY LIKE A LO, PARTY LIKE A LOHAN!
PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES @ CHICAGO CUBS (OVA 9.5)
Adam Eaton (9-6, 5.83) has struggled with his control all-season and gave-up 15 hits to the Padres and Nationals his last two starts (12 innings). The Cubs line-up has been awesome lately (not counting last night) and always looks twice as good against righties. As for Chicago’s starter Jason Marquis (7-6, 4.20), he had an ERA in the low 3s at the start of July and looked lost in his last start in St. Louis (5 innings, 6 earned, 4 BBs). While the Phillies line-up is a lil’ beat-up, you still have Tad Iguchi & Aaron Rowand looking to show-up the Wrigleyville faithful and Ryan Howard (29 HRs) & Jimmy Rollins (20 HRs) due for a long-ball…Phillies/Cubs 11-14 total runs
COLORADO ROCKIES @ FLORIDA MARLINS
In his last start, Colorado hurler Aaron Cook (7-6, 4.22) pitched a complete game in only 75 pitches! As for Marlin Southpaw Scott Olsen (8-8, 5.31), he was shelled (5 inn, 11 hits, 7 runs, 3 bbs) just a few days after being arrested for drunken driving and fighting with the cops…think he may have something else on his mind…Rockies by 2-4 runs
CHICAGO WHITE SOX @ NEW YORK YANKEES (-1.5 RUNS)
Jose Contreras has given up 32 hits & 24 earned runs in his last 3 starts, and knows his days are numbered in Chicago…if only he pitched well enough for someone to take him! While Mike Mussina (5-7, 4.77) is also showing his age, he’ll be helped by the home crowd and a Sox line-up that’s sportin’ plenty of rookies…Yanks by 4-6 runs