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August 2007 Archives

August 1, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 78-51.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Only the Gamblin’ Guru can turn a 2-game losing streak into a 3-game winning streak faster than you can say: “I watch women’s tennis for the volleys!” While my investments yesterday made me happier than Rae Carruth on visitation day, I can’t say I was too thrilled with the action, or lack there of, made by the two Chi-Town squads. Of course nobody cares about the White Sox, but since we have the worst minor league system in the game you’d think GM Kenny Will would trade more than a platooning outfield (Rob Mackowiak). The worst part of it…he actually had the best batting average on our sorry-azz squad (.278). I know that’s like saying the tallest midget or the tallest player in the Bulls backcourt, but with Rob, Guchi, and Pablo gone I’m selling my remaining tickets on Mike Tice’s website.


As for the Northsiders, I was in more shock than the day Fred Lane came home from work that Jim Hendry didn’t make a move. While the Wrigleyville Faithful will tell you everything is fine and it’s cool to throw garbage, how many times have you seen a World Series Champion, let alone a playoff team, have two outfield positions they platoon? In addition, while I love Theriot, Fontenot, and the two young lefties like Mark Chmura loves Teen-Bop Magazine, you can’t assume these guys are gonna continue the year like Dwight Smith and Jerome Walton did. I know I should stop complaining like an NBA veteran driving to the hole since the trading deadline means nuttin’ with the waiver/trade shiznit, but that’s like shopping for bball shoes at Payless.


Finally, another victory for the Smoke Daddy Softball team last night…even with my azz only DHing with foot injury after a horrific bathtub fall. And no, it wasn’t cause I was jiggling the jewelry or pounding an Arbor Mist while dancing to Snow-Informer. Anywho, I have to roll cause I have my mansion inspection today and need to make sure my girl’s white-tiger cage is up to regulation. Enjoy the day fellaz!

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August 2, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 79-51.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!


While there’s usually nuttin’ unusual about the Wrigleyville faithful peeing in the alleys after a victory, last night was a lil’ different as they completed the task as Central Division leaders. Led by manager Lou “Socrates” Pinella, baseball magic is sweeping the Northside and should lead to an awesome Autumn of crowded bars and tons of chicks wearing hot-pants & Mark Grace jerseys. While I’m somewhat facetious and talk on my cell-phone and throw garbage in my living room when I watch a Cubs game, I have to admit I’m on the bandwagon and even make my girl call me Carlos Marmol when we sneak-off at a rest-stop. Besides an occasional glance at the boxscore to see if my White Sox had more than 3 hits or if any of their relievers have an ERA unda 6, the Southsiders are merely a tool for my investment the rest of they way….What can I say, GO CUBS GO!


Quickly to the NBA, as I know you care about this as much as Snoop cares about lung-cancer, it looks like Celts GM Danny Ainge reads www.insideplays.com . While not one so-called expert told ya Eddie House was a perfect fit in green, besides yours truly, I’m just waiting for Brevin Knight to sign with the T-Wolves before sending my application to GM Johnny Pax. NBA Action…it’s FRAT-TASTIC!


And finally, ESPN’s very own Mr. MMMMKAY (John Clayton) reported on Bears’ camp yesterday. While I hope he’s right, he made Lovie’s offense sound like a cross-between Loyola Marymount’s bball squad circa 1990 and Willie Mayes Hayes. Of course I’m excited to see the joystick moves of Devin Hester, hope NIU’s Garrett Wolfe will remind me of Dave Meggett, and believe Bernard Berrian is faster than a Stephen Jackson speeding-bullet, but does the South Park look-a-like realize they can’t hit Sexy Rexy yet. Every Summer Grossman looks great in shorts and a red-jersey, but unfortunately, during real-games the big-fast black dudes are allowed to sit on his face. I’m not trying to squash Da Bear Buzz, and I know their defense is awesome and the O-Line is stocked with veterans, but slow your roll Mr. Clayton before you have 25,000 of Chicago faithful buying Super Bowl tickets on Stub Hub. C-YA lil’ Beeatches…I’m off to consult and educate.

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August 3, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 79-52.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

As I rolled off of my chinchilla-fur comforter this morning and Ickey-Shuffled my way into the kitchen for a can of Tecate w/ a lime (remember that Vitamin C kids) and some Venison Jerky, I accidentally happened upon a calendar my girl had on the fridge. First off, I apologize fellaz…I didn’t know it was August. My dumb-azz is ranting and raving about the professional diamond and the off-season NBA transactions when I should be discussing the real American pastime…the Gridiron. So with that, I give you some quick pigskin notes to feed your appetite.


DANTE CULPEPPER IN OAKLAND
Word to the wise, if you have a reconstructed knee…maybe you shouldn’t sign a 1-year deal with an O-Line that’s nickname is “The Turnstiles”!


BRETT FAVRE’S LAST GASP
This is going to be an ugly, ugly season for Mr. Vicodin. I guarantee he cries at least three times at the post-game podium and throws twice as many picks as tuddies this year. If he starts every game for the Pack, I promise to throw away my Golden St. Warriors Zubaz…after I wear them for my Super Bowl party!

RANDY MOSS IN BELI-LAND
While most Fantasy Footballers will be eyeing the former Thunder Herd WR, I’m expecting better years from both Donte’ Stallworth and Wes Welker in New England. Randy’s aging faster than Ray Liotta and I expect to see him standing next to a heater nursing a pulled finger-nail as the weather gets icy-cold in Foxborough.

KYLE ORTON HAS THE BODY OF GREGGY G
I’m not joking fellaz…everyday I read or hear how great Mr. Orton’s body looks in training camp. While I’m not gay (except on the 2nd Thursday of the month), I can’t help but picture Orton in a bathing suit every time he drops back to pass.


MARC BULGER WILL HAVE CRAZY FANTASY NUMBERS
The Rams defense is going to be horrific this season, which is great if you have Holt, Bruce, Jackson, Bulger, or the OVA.

Finally, quickly to the NBA, I was in the process of writing-up some break-out performers for the up-coming season, and was just starting to talk-up F/C Andray Blatche when I read he was arrested for soliciting sex to an undercover cop yesterday. Once again, I don’t understand professional athletes. Blatche, a free-agent, was being courting by his former team the Washington Wizards, and reports are he had been offered a 5-year 12.5 million dollar contract. Andray…your telling me there on no groupies, let alone regular girls, that are willing to jingle the jewelry of a potential millionaire? But wait…the best part of this story can be found in a quote from an NBA veteran in the Washington Post about the situation:

"Dude was about to sign a contract for millions and he got arrested for that? That's stupid! Everyone knows you aren't supposed to be out like that when a contract is getting done."

So the NBA vet is saying is O.K. to pull a Hugh Grant as long as you’ve already signed the contract…that’s frickin’ hilarious! Have a great weekend boys and remember to take your Milk Thistle.

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August 4, 2007

Home of Greggy G's MLB Picks: 80-52.5 ATS

Gettin’ my 80th win makes my record look prettier than chick eatin’ a hot-dog at a ballpark…as long as it’s not at U.S. Comiskular. Even as a Sox fan, something about the smokes rolled-up in the sleeve makes me nauseous. Have a great Saturday Homeboys!

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August 5, 2007

Home of Greggy G's MLB Picks: 80-53.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Sunday Funday Fellaz…except for my boy Elton Brand. Tough luck for the Dukie who was working unbelievably hard this off-season, before he blew out his achilles this week. While he has a long road in-front of him, Elton’s one of the few guys you know will come back stronger…Take it light Homeboys!

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August 6, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 81-53.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Chi-Town in August baby…Eddie Vedder wearin’ a Kerry Wood jersey, AVP volleyball chicks wearing almost nuttin’, and Tom Glavine’s wife lookin’ flawless…as my boy Ice Cube would say: I got to say it was a good day! While the weekend enables me to pay lil’ attention to the wacky wild world of sports, Sunday Night is always fun to catch-up on all the superstars that were injured, jailed, or partying like a Lohan. And what do you know, there were all kinds of goodies for us…


1. The inventor of the “I Make it Rain, but I take it back” mantra, Pac-Man Jones has reportedly signed a contract with a professional wrestling circuit to pass the time while he’s suspended from the NFL and awaiting a couple trips to the courthouse. While I’ll believe it when I see it and have a feeling his agent and the NFL will suggest otherwise, if he does show-up with a cape, some goggles and a funny nickname…I’m paying $59 pay-per-view for the first time for men in tights!

2. Former Cub Neifi Perez (Det) was suspended for 80 games following his 3rd positive test for a banned substance. While this is a sad story and Gregg G wants the kids to know to never use drugs, could you image what Neifi would be hitting if wasn’t taking some sort of Flaxseed Oil? He’s batting .171 with 1 HR & 6 RBI’s on the shiznit! And of course, his response to the suspension was that the medicine was cleared by his doctor. Just once, I’d luv to hear an athlete get caught and say: “Hell ya I took it…taking that shiznit got me a huge contract in 2002 and now I have a few vacation days to get my acne in control!”

3. While watching Auto-Racing excites me like heading to the doctor for a yearly-physical…10 years late, I can’t get enough of these crazy southern white dudes fighting in pit-row with Penis Enlargement logos on their back. Even the old-timers can help with the famed-racing stereotype…did you see what 4-time Indianapolis-500 winner A.J. Foyt has been up to? Foyt stole headlines in Texas after reports surfaced that he narrowly survived a tragic bulldozer-in-a-lake plunge. While I’m glade he’s O.K., you can’t make this shiznit-up…hopefully his girl at least put the mayonnaise-sandwich in a zip-lock bag?

4. Rafer Alston, in the midst of a suddenly crowded backcourt battle in Houston (Stevie Franchise, speedy-Aaron Brooks, and “I’m MIKE JAMES Beeatch!”), may have improved his stock with new coach Rick Adelman by showing a feistiness even off the floor this weekend. The former streetball star was charged for assault and public intoxication, but did impress the cops with his Skip-to-my-Lou performance all the way to the cop car.

And finally, for all the shiznit I give Cubdom, it was awesome to see the luv they showed Tom Glavine for his 300th win yesterday. The fact that the dude with a hot-wife won the majority of those games during the steroid era makes it even more impressive. Enjoy the Monday Homeboys, and make sure to cancel any doggie-play-dates you had with Ving Rhames.

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August 7, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 82-55.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Tough one for the Cubbies, but I told you Wandy Rodriquez looks like Les Lancaster at home…simply filthy! While Rich Hill looked nice, the line-up doesn’t without Alfonso in the mix and I won’t stop harping on the Cubbies for not grabbin’ Griffey Jr. when they had a chance. But enough diamond notes, you can read my picks and pics later, because right-now we need to start looking at some Fantasy Football action. Just like my Sunday School Teacher taught me, the only thing better than bettin’ on football is having three players from your fantasy squad on the team you’re betting on! So let’s take a quick peak at Greggy G’s 2007 Fantasy RBs Movin-up and Movin’-down:

MOVIN’ ON UP

CARNELL “CADILLAC” WILLIAMS (BUCCANEERS)
Projected RB rank: 27th
Greggy G RB rank: 16th

After a solid rookie season (1178 rush yards, 6 TDs), the Cadillac took a dive along with the rest of the Bucs last season rushing for under 800 yards and only scoring 1 TD. While injuries played a roll, the biggest reason for his lack of success was Tampa Bay’s inabilities to keep the chains moving. With QB Jeff Garcia is ready to prove he’s still got game (and doesn’t like to land on the end zone pylon azz-first), I have a feeling we’ll see why the Auburn Tiger was considered by many organization as the top RB in the 2005. In addition, just like you saw in Philly with Brian Westbrook, Garcia’s mobility should enable Cadillac to become a bigger threat catching the ball out of the backfield. Reading the press reports, it sounds like Gruden agrees and wants to keep him on the field for as many downs as possible.

JERIOUS NORWOOD (FALCONS)
Projected RB rank: 23rd
Greggy G RB rank: 17th

Obviously, everybody has Norwood as a sleeper this year, but I think he’s going to be even better than expected. With Warrick Dunn out for the first 6 weeks of the season and Joey Harrington taking ova for Ronny Mex, you think Norwood’s gonna get a nice opportunity? While Jerious’s ridiculous 6.4 rushing average had something to do with an extra LB shadowing the Dog-lovin’ scrambler, his lighting quick agility and pass-catching ability make him a perfect fit for the Georgia Dome turf. Especially with a RB depth chart that looks like an Arena roster and WRs that have trouble catching the ball, Norwood has no choice but to be the focal point of the offense.

MOVIN’ ON DOWN


LARRY JOHNSON (KC CHIEFS)
Projected RB rank: 3rd
Greggy G RB rank: 7th

LJ’s holdout aside, I think the Chiefs’ offense is going to struggle all season. Anytime you open the season with one of the Huard brothers as your starting QB and a go-to 34-year old WR named Eddie, you think teams fear your passing attack? In addition, the vaunted KC Offensive Line has seen retirement and injuries take a toll, while starting TE Tony Gonzalez will never be know as extra offensive lineman. Finally, LJ rushed the rock over 400 times last year, and can’t be in the same kind of shape working-out away from training camp. While I don’t doubt his ability and the fact that he’ll eventually be playing on Sundays, I really doubt his situation and his attitude if things go south.

DEUCE MCALLISTER (SAINTS)
Projected RB rank: 15th
Greggy G RB rank: 20th

While nobody knew how well Reggie and Deuce would play together in 06-07, I do not expect the same kind of breakdown in workload this season. After suffering a major knee injury in 2005, Deuce looked solid last season, but had some minor surgery this past February to clean-up the knee. While reports have him looking good in camp, with his running-style, off-n-on weight issues, and the magic found in Bush’s feet, I can’t see how McAllister breaks the 1000-yard barrier this season. He barley accomplished the feat last year (1057 rush yards), and that was with Bush showing-up to camp late and as a rook.

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August 8, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 84-55.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Yes, Barry Bonds is the best player I’ve seen during the steroid-era and deserves props for not hiding behind the DH and playing the field at his age. A ridiculous amount of players took more than Flintstone Vitamins during the 90s, the balls were juiced, and the mound was shaved down, so no, the numbers during this era don’t mean as much to me. Of course there’s an asterisk next Barry’s record in my mind, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put your head-in-the-sand and celebrate his scientifically-aided accomplishments. Do you really think he breaks Hank Aaron’s record without Flaxseed Oil? If you do, you should hire Britany Spears as a tutor!

Also, did you see the fake lil' scuffle between A-Rod and the Blue Jays last night? First off, kudos to Josh Towers for hitting Rodriguez last night for an overdue retaliation for the bush-league play he made against Toronto earlier in the year. A-Rod should have taken the punishment like a man instead of acting like a tough-guy and glaring at the mound from 1st base like he’s a prize-fighter or something. The pretty-boy didn’t want to fight and knew there was no-way it would ever get to that, so he decided to act like a prima–donna and yell over someone’s shoulder. And finally, while I hate Roger Clemens more than Tofu, nobody hits somebody square in the back like the Rocket. Even at 52, he’s intimidating and as competitive as they come.

Alrighty-then, enough diamond chatter, time to rollback to the Gridiron for Greggy G’s 2007 Fantasy WRs Movin-up and Movin’-down:

MOVIN’ ON UP

LEE EVANS (BUFFALO BILLS)
Projected WR rank: 11th
Greggy G WR rank: 6th

Originally known as simply a speedster who could flat-out blow by anybody, Evans has worked unbelievable hard at becoming a great all-around WR. He blew-up last year in only his 3rd year (82 catches, 1292 yards, & 8 TDs) and has established a remarkable rapport with the improving J.P. Losman. Remarkably, in Evans first two years (48 catches each season), he also averaged 8 TDs per season, so you have to think last year’s TD totals were a little low considering his production. While defenses will continue to double-up on the former Badger until the Bills find another receiving mate, I have a feeling he’s just scratching the surface of his potential…Mark him down for at least 1300 yards and 10 TDs!

DEION BRANCH (SEAHAWKS)
Projected WR rank: 28th
Greggy G WR rank: 18th

The Seahawks are paying the undersized WR superstar money, which led to their leading WR Darrell Jackson finding his paper in San Fran this off-season. Jackson pulled-in ova 60 catches, nearly 1000 yards, and a whopping 10 TDs last season, which bodes well for Mr. Branch considering they didn’t really up-grade at that position. After holding out in New England last year, Branch was traded to Seattle after training camp and never really seemed to find a rhythm with the offense. Reports have him desperately wanted to prove he was worth the investment so expect him to come flying out of the gates this season. With QB Hasselbeck’s remarkable accuracy and Branch’s quickness & route-running skills, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him catch 75-85 balls. While his TD totals will never be sky-high, he’s a lock for at least 60-80 yards every single game.

MOVIN’ ON DOWN

DONALD DRIVER (PACKERS)
Projected WR rank: 8th
Greggy G WR rank: 14th

This is the year 32-year-old ova-achiever comes back to earth. After 3 straight seasons of at least 84 catches and 1200 yards, Driver no-longer has a QB that can thread the needle like he once could. I’m not hatin’ on the legendary signal-caller, but I just think without a running game and a young line the pain-killer kid may wish he retired last year. With Greg Jennings emerging as a top-flight possession WR, Driver’s catches should drop into the 60s and I can’t see him outracing many of the young secondarys anymore. While he’s a gamer and always had a great rapport with Favre, I just don’t see how you win your league with him as your #1 WR.


SANTANA MOSS (REDSKINS)
Projected WR rank: 21nd
Greggy G WR rank: 32nd

After 7 years in the league, the undersized Moss is starting to show some major wear-n-tear. Never minds that the Skins’ offense has been non-existent the last few years or that they have a green QB in Jason Campbell, I just don’t see Moss (55 catches, 790 yards, 6 TDs) spending more than 10 games on the field this season. While he’ll always have a few big plays per season, I’m of the mindset where I’d rather have 6-10 points every week, instead of Moss’s weekly numbers…4pts, 3pts, 15 pts, 2pts, etc. Tough to see a guy drop this far who had a huge season only two years ago (84 catches, 1483 yards, & 9 TDs), but I just call them as I see ‘em fellaz!

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August 9, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 85-56.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Can you imagine posting-up if were Paulie Pierce and KG next year? You catch-it on the low-block waiting for the double-team like Wilt Chamberlin in a hotel-room, and then realize you’ve got Shuttlesworth on one wing, Reggie Miller on the other, Eddie HiZouse chillin’ in the corner and no double-team coming. While it’s a pretty thought, you better score every trip down cause it’s not like you’re stopping anyone at the other! I know Reggie’s a big “maybe”, and if he does sign, would probably just spell Ray-Ray for 12-16 minutes a game, but damn that would be some must see NBA TV…it might make me even Tivo “Scott Baio’s Old and Still Layin’ Pipe” Show.

Anyway, I have lots ‘o shiznit to do today, so you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for my 2007 Fantasy QBs Movin-up and Movin’-down list. Till then, here’s some picks and some pics…Take it light!

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August 10, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 86-7.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Before I get to my Fantasy Football analysis and investment strategies for the diamond, for the first time in a long-time, I’d like to give a sincere salutation to a professional athlete…not too bad Mr. Ankiel! After watching the young pitching phenom deal with a mental breakdown in the 2000 playoffs and continue to throw with as much accuracy as Chuck Knoblauch at 2nd ova the next 3 years, it was remarkable to see the converted outfielder hit a 3-run home run in his first Major League action since 2004. While I wasn’t as emotional as I was for the 90210 series finale or Spud Webb’s retirement, I have to say it was awesome to see him head to dugout and watch as his teammates/coaches/fans acted as though he’d just won the World Series. Congrats Rick, you the shiznit.

With that, I give you my Fantasy QBs Movin’-up and Movin-down, followed by a baseball pick that will make my Cubbie fans proud. Have a great weekend and don’t forget to pull-out the “Straight off the boat and on my lap Asians” DVD before your girl tries to throw-in She’s All That with her girlfriend…man am I stupid!


MOVIN’ ON UP

JON KITNA (DETROIT LIONS)
Projected QB rank: 13th
Greggy G QB rank: 6th

In Jonny K’s 1st season in Mo-Town, the 34-year old threw for 4,200 yards and 21 TDs…and 22 Ints (damn!). While many of those picks were thrown in desperate 2nd half comeback attempts, Kitna’s convinced another year with his WRs and the offense will only improve his efficiency (67% completion…not too frickin’ shabby!). Not to mention, the Lions added a game-breaker in Calvin Johnson who may the best WR prospect I've ever seen. With Roy Williams on one side, the Georgia Tech rook on the other, and Mike Furrey catching everything underneath like Tommy Waddle on speed, don’t be fooled when Kitna throws for 4,600 yards and 25 Tuddies.

TONY ROMO (DALLAS COWBOYS)
Projected QB rank: 11th
Greggy G QB rank: 7th

If you extrapolate (sounds like some type of Ronny Mex dog-torture device) Tony Ro’s numbers over a full season, the former pipe-layer of Carrie Underwood (sexiest legs in the world) would have thrown for ova 4,000 yards and +/-28 TDs. Also, considering TO dropped more balls than the “Queer-Eye for the Straight-Guy” fellaz and Jason Witten had a down year, those numbers could actually have been a lot higher. Throw-in a much more relaxed atmosphere with everybody’s favorite coach/uncle Wade Phillips and a full training camp of 1st-team snaps, and we could see Tony in the Top-5 for QB fantasy points this year.

MOVIN’ ON DOWN

MATT HASSELBECK (SEATTLE SEAHAWKS)
Projected QB Rank: 7th
Greggy G Rank: 13th

Even Hasselbeck's famous wife would agree Matt had a sub-par performance last year (19th in Passing Rating/25th in Comp%) and that was with his favorite target WR Darrell Jackson in-town. Now that Jackson’s off to San Fran and Shaun Alexander has vowed to recapture the rushing-crown, you think we'll see 2 or 3 TDs every week? In addition, the 31-year old moves like a 41-year old and seems nervous in the pocket ever since the best guard in the league (Steve Hutchinson) left for the Viqueens. And finally, Greggy G Fantasy Rule #35b: Never draft a QB who has a back-up that’s faster than Flo-Jo, cooler than Chris Tucker, and a former Cyclone. Yeah, I’m talking about the roll-out master Seneca Wallace Homeboys!

ELI MANNING (NEW YORK GIANTS)
Projected QB Rank: 11th
Greggy G QB Rank: 17th

Is it me, or does it look like Eli would rather be anywhere else in the world than managing the gridiron on Sunday. Seriously, he looks more nervous than my azz after peeing in a cup and doesn’t seem to have any support from his peers in the huddle. Throw-in the fact that Tiki’s gone, Plaxico & Shockey act like lil beeatches, and coach Tom Coughlin is a few games from being fired, this season could be a complete disaster. Especially if the G-men get off a slow start, New Yorkers will be all over the sensitive lil brother of Peyton, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Coughlin looked at the guy holding a clipboard (Anthony Wright) to desperately save his job. Maybe I’m wrong, but as my record shows, that’s only about 30% of the time!

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August 11, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 87- 59.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only

While it’s impossible to give coach L.A. Looks too much grief after he won a title two years ago when nobody saw it coming, have you see the acquisitions they’ve made this summer? No joke, are you ready for this…Smush Parker & Penny Hardaway! Combine the bargain-shoppin' off-season with the loss of Jason Kapono (never thought I'd day that), and I give Riley a Chris Dudley's FT% chance of getting D-Wade and Shaq into the playoffs...well, that's unless Anfernee also brought along lil' Penny as part of the deal...luv that cat!

Anyway, thanks to the Homeboys who stopped by for cards last night, it was a blast…especially because I won. Enjoy the day off, and hopefully everybody except “My Guy” enjoys my picks.

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August 12, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB picks: 89-60.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

I’ve officially decided I hate exhibition football. While it’s nice to see some real hitting and check out that 7th round draft-pick who’s replacing an expensive veteran, nothing is more of a “back-tat on chick with a boyfriend”-tease than the preseason. I tried to watch my Bears at least three different times last night, but always ended-up on either the Iron Chef or the Girls Next Door. I'd rather watch the NBA’s Las Vegas Rookie Revue than 120 NFL players I’ve never heard of…and will probably never see again!

Anyway, enjoy the Sunday Funday and hopefully you enjoyed my 2-1 performance on the ATS diamond yesterday. Dollar-Dollar Bill Y’all!

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August 13, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 91-61.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

While winning 4 out of 6 was nice, I have to say the highlight of the weekend was watching the Roast of Flavor Flav last night. What can I say, Carrot-Top, Ron Jeremy, Snoop Dogg, & the funniest man on the planet Greg Giraldo all at the same party…where the hell is Stub Hub when you need ‘em! And how about the latest rumor that the great Derek Jeter may have given half of Hollywood the gift that keeps on giving. Come-on Derek, you can still have fun wearing a hat…just put it on crooked and call it the C.C. Sabathia! With that, I’m going to leave you with my picks and pics so I can finish-up my Fantasy Football article for tomorrow…and I promise it’ll be the shiznit! Have a good Monday fellaz

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August 14, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 93-62.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

What do you know, another 2 out of 3 on the ATS diamond and I’m now 30 games ova .500…what can I say, I was put on earth to improve liquor sales and the number of dollar bills in my Homeboy's pockets. And speaking of making money, who wants some Fantasy help? After winning 2 out of 3 leagues last year (Yes, Moose Knuckle members you’ve had my number lately, but you better watch your back like Lance Bass this season), it’s time to pass on some knowledge to help you win the fantasy dinero…that you’ll eventually lose betting on the coin-toss or those stupid-squares during the Super Bowl. It’s time for my Fantasy RB Breakdown; feel free to thank me once you’ve captured your first crown!

1. The quietest performance last season for a top RB was displayed by Travis Henry in Tennessee (1,211 rush. yards, 7 TDs). After carrying the ball only 30 times in the first 4 games, the former Bill was remarkable ova the rest of the season and finished with a 4.5 rushing clip and only dropping the ball on the grass 3 times (only one of those was recovered by the opponent). Throw him into the dominating running attack in Denver and I predict he’ll eclipse his best season in Buffalo (’02: 1747 total yards, 14 TDs). While most publications have him ranked between 12-15 for RBs, Greggy G’s yellow notepad has him easily in the top-10.


2. I don’t know why, but Cedric Benson scares me more then being unable to find the 3rd disk of the “Hoes, Toes, & Tiny Holes” 5-disk set the day before my girl’s back from vacation. While every indication is that the Bears’ veteran line will make him like look the luxury-model of Thomas Jones, I’m skeptical of his ability to stay healthy and not piss-off the entire team. I know the Bears really have nobody behind him to steal carries, but something about Benson makes me more skeptical than the ladies who see that New York Yankee late night at the club!

3. Trust me, do not buy the Brandon Jacobs hype in New York with Tiki retired. Jacobs was a TD machine last year (1 almost every 10 carries), but that was because Tiki got his azz to goaline everytime. I fully expect Reuben Droughns to split-time with the 260 lb. battling-ram from Southern Illinois, and can’t see how he’s even worth a glance until 25 other RBs are off the board. As for the theory you should draft both Droughns and Jacobs, feel free to do that in my league and watch as I beeatch-slap you like Nolan Ryan beat-down Robin Ventura. Overall, I wouldn’t touch anybody on the Gaints…they’re going to suck worse than those teeth-draggers!


4. While most experts will tell you Willis McGahee’s move to Billick’s smash-mouth style in Baltimore will help, Greggy G knows the Ravens O-Line is not what it used to be. In addition, after recovering from one of the worst knee injuries I’ve ever seen, the former Hurricane has logged almost 900 carries in his first three seasons. While I hope he proves me wrong, I can’t see how he makes it throw the season unscathed. The fantasy guru’s have him between 10 and 13 for RBs, but if you’re smart like me…don’t even take a look until 16 or 17.


5. After almost 1700 rush/rec yards and 16 Tds last year, Fast Willie Parker seems determined to prove he’s a premier workhorse in the league and has shown a dedication and leadership in camp that should get potential owners excited. While many experts feel the new staff will try to lessen the load with Kevan Barlow and Najah “poop in the closet” Davenport and are concerned with some knee-swelling in camp, I believe Coach Tomlin is simply resting the unheralded superstar for another 300-plus carry season. The O-Line should be dominate again this season and you have to think they’ll want to keep the punching-bag known as Big Ben a little more conservative this season.

6. You guys want a super-sleeper, and no, it’s not Chris “I’m late again” Duhon! I’m talking about Tony Hunt in Philadelphia. With Brian Westbrook & Correll Buckhalter’s knees continuing to give them trouble and 3rd down specialist Ryan Moats already out for the year, I have a feeling we’ll see the Penn State rookie plenty this season. He’s impressed the coaches in camp with his ability to hit the hole, has the size to compliment the powerful O-Line, and will see plenty of practice time throughout the season with the other RBs on the shelf. Especially after seein Donovan go down the last few years, you think Andy Reid might put a little more attention on the ground attack.

Hope this help fellaz and I’ll be back tomorrow with my WR notes. Enjoy my baseball picks and make sure to tell your fantasy league members to check out insideplays.com…but after your draft of course!

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August 15, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 94-64.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

It’s a depressing morning in Chi-Town, and not because Zambrano looked like someone stole his lunchbox or the White Sox looked like someone stole their “How to play baseball for Dummies” handbook, but because Smoke Daddy Softball was eliminated from the playoffs in a hard-fought 1-run battle. While we gave more effort than former Poison star Brett Michaels does pretending he’s still a relevant rocker, the rumor of the ump knowing Tim Donaghy's barber and the 2nd basemen was too much to overcome. Oh well, at least I got 2 hits in the last game of my contract year…because I live by the Roger Clemens motto: It’s not about how many you win, it’s about how much you make!

As for today, I have some important fantasy football news for ya. I know most leagues have 10 or 12 players, but if you don’t grab one of the 7 QBs listed below, you’ll be sitting at home like Latrell Sprewell when the playoffs come around. With that, here are Greggy G’s Seven Signal-Callers of Supreme Significance:


1. PEYTON MANNING (so-called Expert Rank: 1)
06-07: 4397 yards, 31 TDs 9 INTs
No QB warrants a top-8 pick overall besides Peyton Manning & Seneca Wallace, and I’d even consider taking Eli’s brother with the 4th or 5th. Seemingly a lock to play all 16 games and throw at least 2 TDs and 250 yards each contest, it’s an unbelievable luxury to have Peyton’s consistency week-in and week-out. Especially with a running game that lost a major contributor in Dominic Rhodes, I expect Peyton’s #s to be even better this year.

2. CARSON PALMER (so called Expert Rank: 2)
06-07: 4035 yards, 28 TDs 13 INTs
I was extremely tempted to take Marc Bulger here, but you have to assume Palmer will be even better a full-year removed from knee surgery. In addition, the Bengal backfield has suffered some major injuries behind Rudi Johnson, so expect the former Trojan to throw it even more this season. As for the defense, it’s easier to move on the Bengals than it will be to movepast Paul Pierce & Ray Allen of the Boston Celtics. Marv Lewis’s squad gave-up the 3rd most yards per game in the NFL last year and doesn’t look all that improved on the defensive side...which is bad for him, but good for Palmer owners.

3. MARC BULGER (so called Expert Rank: 5)
06-07: 4301 yards, 24 TDs 8 INTs
Another team whose defense looks awful, Bulger will be forced to score more than NBA groupie on All-star weekend. Only Brett Favre & Jon Kitna threw more passes last season, and no reason to think he won’t be near the top again this year. In addition, with Stephen Jackson continuing to command more attention than the Olsen Twins, Bulger will have plenty of down-field opportunities and single coverage. The Rams added deep-threat Drew Bennett to complement Bruce & Holt at WRm while Randy McMichael gives Bulger his first playmaker at the TE position in years.

4. DREW BREES (so called Expert Rank: 3)
06-07: 4418 yards, 26 TDs 11 INTs
What a dream season for the undersized former Charger. Throw-in another year of experience with his WRs and Reggie Bush’s development, and Brees should continue his video-game style offensive dominance. While Coach Sean Payton is not going to turn into Herm Edwards overnight, I do expect the Saints to run the ball even more this season with teams more prepared for the Saints spread-offense. Still a lock for the Top-5, I’m guessing you may see his yardage creep closer to 4000 this year.

5. JON KITNA (so called Expert Rank: 13)
06-07: 4208 yards, 21 TDs 22 INTs
It’s like the former NFL Europe MVP was granted a dream from the “Make a Wish Foundation” at age 34. The former Central Washington University star already had the two WRs with ridiculous numbers last year (Roy Williams & Mike Furrey combined for 180 catches, 2400 yards) and the Lions added the most dominate WR prospect I’ve ever seen in Calvin Johnson. Throw-in a Martz favorite from St. Louis in Shaun McDonald and a running game that continues to be inconsistent, and you’ll see the Private Pyle look-alike tossing the pigskin even more than last season.

6. TONY ROMO (so called Expert Rank: 10)
06-07: (11 starts) 2903 yards, 19 TDs 13 INTs
If you extrapolate (sounds like some type of Ronny Mex dog-torture device) Tony Ro’s numbers over a full season, the former pipe-layer of Carrie Underwood (sexiest legs in the world) would have thrown for ova 4,000 yards and +/-28 TDs. Also, considering TO dropped more balls than the “Queer-Eye for the Straight-Guy” fellaz and Jason Witten had a down year, those numbers could actually have been a lot higher. Throw-in a much more relaxed atmosphere with everybody’s favorite coach/uncle Wade Phillips and a full training camp of 1st-team snaps, and we could see Tony in the Top-5 for QB fantasy points this year.

7. TOM BRADY (so called Expert Rank: 4)
06-07: 3529 yards, 24 TDs 12 INTs
For the first time in his fantasy world, the golden-child known as Tom Brady has a ‘lil stress in his life. While dating supermodels is a stress most are willing to deal with, when you’re rich and have your first child with someone other than the one your currently dating…I’m guessing you have some new drama to deal with. Also, I think the addition of Randy Moss is extremely ova-rated and believe that Belichick will put a much higher emphasis on Laurence Maroney and the running game this season. While an extremely efficient QB who may have another chance at a Super Bowl this year, Brady has only thrown for ova 4000 yards only once and has seen his TD #s decline the past three seasons.

That’s all of them boys…don’t be a fool and think you grab another one later…it’s a Greggy G Guarantee. Enjoy my picks and pics and make to sure to check back tomorrow for more debauchery and sports knowledge from your favorite degenerate Polack!

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August 16, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 95-64.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

RB BRANDON JACKSON (Green Bay Packers)
So-called Expert RB rank: 41st
Sexy Greggy G RB rank: 28th

Listen to me now and hear me later, the former Cornhusker will be the biggest surprise among the skilled-position rookies. And I’m not saying this because Jackson made my Cyclones look silly last year, shiznit, Emanuel Lewis (I luved Webster) could have averaged at least 4.5 per carry against ISU. I’m saying this because the Packers weren’t sure about RB Vernand Morency before he started missing most of training camp, and they know Noah Herron will never be more than a 2nd or 3rd back. Jackson had the luxury of playing in pro-style offense under former NFL coach Bill Callahan, and because of Nebraska’s depth, doesn’t have all the miles that Adrian Peterson and Marshawn Lynch do (damn do I luv the name Marshawn!). While Grandpa Favre will want to throw-it 50 times a game, you have to think the Packers will do everything they can to make sure he doesn’t miss a start this year. Especially if the season becomes a wash eaarly-on, expect almost all the carries to go the rookie’s way.

RB LADELL BETTS (Washington Redskins)
So-called Expert RB rank: 30th
Sexy Greggy G RB rank: 24th

While I hate drafting former Hawkeyes more than I hate that sharp little invisible dagger you can’t find on your undies, Betts proved last season that he’s more than just a mediocre back-up (1599 total yards, 4.7 rushing average). Especially with Clinton Portis more interested in wigs & Halloween costumes and starting to show signs of wear-n-tear, the well-rested 6-year veteran should garner plenty of touches even if Portis is healthy (I’d bet my Kobe Tai collection that he starts less than 10 games) Obviously, if you’re stupid enough to grab Portis you have to draft Betts, but don’t be fooled into thinking you can grab him past the 5th round…especially if Greggy G’s in your league!


WR BRANDON JONES (Tennessee Titans)
So-called Expert WR rank: 58th
Sexy Greggy G WR rank: 37th

I know you don’t know who he is but…oh shiznit…my mom’s coming down to the basement, gotta roll! But of course I have some picks and pics for ya today, and I promise to finish-up my FF Sexy Subtle Steals for 2007-08 tomorrow…HOLLA

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August 17, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 96-66.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

First off, congrats to the Cubbies for signing Big Z (5 years, 91.5 million). A remarkable pitcher when his panties aren’t in a bunch, and even when he struggles, you never now if he’s going to bitch-slap a teammate or break a bat ova his knee…now that’s what I call entertainment! As for Ronny Mex, I bet his shuttle-time from the toilet to his cot will break all kinds of records at the penitentiary. And how about the NBA’s finest Tim Donaghy facing more and more charges, what can I tell ya Timmy…you look more like a catcher than pitcher to me! Anyway, before I roll, I have a few Fantasy notes for ya. I know I promised I’d finish my Sexy Subtle Steals for the draft, but unfortunately, you can trust me as much as you can trust a women’s bball coach not to go diving with her players! With that, here is my FF players I wouldn’t touch with Flavor Flav’s magic stick:

PHILIP RIVERS – (QB Rank #9)
I just don’t see much big-play potential in Rivers, not to mention, his WRing crop looks like an Arena League roster. I know the Lighting Bolts’ dominating run game opens-up the secondary and Antonio Gates is the best TE in the game, but with a new coach and the loss of speedy WR Eric Parker for 10 weeks…I’m not too excited about Philip’s fantasy numbers.

DONOVAN MCNABB – (QB Rank #6)
I’m a huge fan of the Chicago native, but he’s had some big injuries of late and I expect Andy Reid to be a little more conservative with the Pro Bowler this season. It’s also going to take Donovan a few weeks to get comfortable with his knee, and just like Philip Rivers, I’m not too impressed with his collection of WRs

MAURICE JONES-DREW – (RB Rank #15)
Jones-Drew’s emergence last season actually gave Fred Taylor the opportunity to stay fresh and enabled him to have the best rushing average of his career (5.0), so don't be suprised if continues to grab 20 carries a game. While Jones-Drew caught everybody by surprise last year and was remarkable at finding the end-zone late in the year, it’s tough to think he’ll duplicate those totals...and I just can’t get myself to invest in a 5’7” tailback.

PLAXICO BURRESS – (WR Rank #16)
You want this head-case…be my guest. Besides that fact that Eli isn’t any good, Burress has been hobbled by an ankle injury in training camp and still drops way too many balls. More importantly, Burress struggled with his concentration even when the game's mattered, and I have a feeling the Giants will be out of the playoff race by mid-October this year.

REX GROSSMAN – (QB Rank #25)
Do you like drafting players that are short, have small hands, and can’t move very fast…well, only if I’m drafting off a boat that’s carrying Asian wives!

AHMAN GREEN – (RB Rank #22)
Maybe he proves me wrong, but I think the former Husker’s game is falling faster than Michael Vick’s friendships. Especially with a team that has so many new faces at the skill positions, a young O-Line, a new coach, and RB Ron Dayne ldetermined to prove he’s not a bust…no chance he’s even given a back-up spot on Greggy G’s squad.

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August 18, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 98-67.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!


As I downed the last of my brilliant mixture of 7-UP, OJ, Lime, and healthy splash of Maurice Clarett (aka Grey Goose), I did it with a smile as I inched closer to a 3-0 ATS evening…and then, some rook on the White Sox batting .182 proceeds to hit a grand slam in the 7th! While the Mariners still won, as I told ya, they didn’t cover the -1.5 runs I needed. Oh well, 2-1 is nuttin’ to Dick Vermeil over, but I’m a perfectionist and you guys deserve better. With that, I’m off to the Race Track where I live by the motto that Craig’s dad in Friday taught me…You win some, and lose some, but live…you live to fight another day!

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August 20, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB & Pigskin Picks: 99-68.5 For Entertainment Purposes Only!

While preseason football rarely excites me with all the Reality TV/soft-core porn on VH1 and E!, tonight is definitely the exception. With a Super Bowl rematch between Da Bears and the Horseshoes, I can’t wait to have a bloody beer and watch as Lovie’s boys easily cover the spread. While it’s rarity for me to invest my girl’s hard-earned dollars on the preseason, tonight’s contest lines-up more perfectly than Brook Burke’s silhouette against a sun-set. GM Jerry Angelo has built a deep roster with great draft picks and reasonably priced FAs who always seen to fighting to move-up the depth chart. Throw-in an awesome back-up QB battle between Brian “I wasn’t drunk, I tripped ova my dogs” Griese and the new and improved Kyle “Google Pictures” Orton, and we should see Kevin Butler’s ole squad pull-away in the 2nd half. While I’ll probably never play against Peyton during the regular season, the Colts lack of depth and lousy back-up signal-callers (Jim Sorgi & Josh Betts) make this an easy way for me to start the season 1-0 ATS.


Finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t give the Cubbie Faithful a shout-out. I love watching Tony LaRussa lose and I love watching Wrigleyville drunks during a pennant race. As for my White Sox, I just don’t understand what the hell their doing. We’re an absolute embarrassment, have a farm system that’s more watered down than backend of an NBA roster, and they just signed 38 year-old LHP Mike Myers to stabilize the bullpen. Are you kidding me, I know our bullpen sucks, but why the hell would Kenny Williams want to steal innings from our youngsters…is he really that desperate to make sure we finish ahead of the Royals! And while I’m a fan of Jermaine Dye, 11 million a year for a guy who’s 33 going on 43 and hitting .242…as Hawk Harrelson would say: SSSTTRREETTCCHHH!

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August 21, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 99-68.5 ATS Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Picks: 1-0 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

What a start for the Gridiron Prognosticator! While the ½ point cover doesn’t look as impressive to some, the Bears were up 10 almost the entire second half and made the -2.5 line feel more untouchable than Jessica Simpson before her 1st marriage. Speaking of Peter Tom Willis’s ole’ squad, besides that short-kid with small hands, I absolutely luv what Lovie and Angelo have put together. They’ve always had a fast, ball-hawking defense, and they continue to add depth at every position, while on offense they’ve invested money on a veteran line and have now added some big-time playmakers in TE Greg Olsen and Devin “Just get me the ball” Hester. But as mentioned at nauseam by yours truly, I don’t care how much zip Sexy Rexy has on his ball or how the players look-up to him like the social-chair of a fraternity…he’s too small, too slow, and too fragile for my flag-football league, let alone the NFL. I know Brian Griese’s no Tom Brady, but at least his hands are bigger than Papa Smurfs’!

As for our favorite dog-lover Ronny Mex, it’s to the point where I can’t even turn on the radio anymore as it’s time for the racial cards to be played. Listen, I will never claim to walk-in-ones-shoes (but I’d luv to walk in their boxers once), but torturing 100s of dogs and funding the entire illegal operation is not a cultural thing…it’s a sick-person thing. Anywho, tomorrow I’ll get back to giving you guys some fantasy luv and start to breakdown some College Football action…damn, I get a halfie just writing about it!

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August 22, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 101-68.5 ATS Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Picks: 1-0 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Genius.jpg
My fantasy knowledge screams of a football genius!

Can the week start off any sweeter…3-0 in baseball, 1-0 in football, and I have my first fantasy draft of the season. The only one having a better week may be R. Kelly’s attorneys! I mean we just heard about Ronny Mex’s doggie dog world and a potential plea-deal has already been reached. Mr. “I believe I can Make it Rain on your Head” is accused of lewd acts with a minor on a video-tape, but the chick is now 46 years-old and claiming it’s not even her…yeah, that sound like an iron-clad case…looks like Bad Newz Kennels hired the wrong legal team!

Eli.jpg
Eli just doesn't have the communication skills!

And how about news that pretty-boy Tiki is taking shots at ugly-boy Eli about his lack of leadership in the huddle…shiznit Eli, everybody knows Tim Hardaway could MC the Gay-Pride Parade better than your azz can convince Plaxico and Shockey to listen-up! But enough about a guy who shouldn’t get drafted unless you play in 66 team Fantasy league, today is the first day I defend my title in the Bowl O’ Dicks league. Since I only suffered one loss last year (and that had something to do with a certain NBA ref), I think it’s only fair to give my fellow opponents a little help in their fantasy selections tonight. With that, I give you Greggy G’s back-ups for the 2007-08 season you must consider…

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August 23, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 102-69.5 ATS Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Picks: 1-0 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

After a nice 4-hour beer, pizza, & nicotine fantasy festival at my homeboy’s bar, I’m more ready for opening day than Mark Grace was for a game’s conclusion so he could chase around 21-year old DePaul students. While trash-talking is all part of draft-day, the lack of injuries you sustain during the season is really the only time you should be acting like Smokey from Friday. As for the biggest rousing I received, (besides the normal: “Greg Gamble’s a fag…and, get a god-damn editor!) was for my 3rd pick of Tony Romo with Tom Brady still on the board. Listen-up people, including all the last place finishers in my league last year, in Tony Romo’s 1st season of throwing a pigskin in a real NFL game he averaged 265 yards and 1.6 TDs per start. You know what the one talented Manning brother averaged…274 yards and 1.9 TDs per start. So after a full-training camp with the 1st team and loads of playmakers all returning, you’re telling me he’s not going to improve? Don’t quit your day-jobs homeboys…well, unless you’re the Baltimore Orioles pitching coach!

Rest%20in%20Peace.jpg
Just way too young

Now before I give you my Fantasy No-No’s (players I wouldn’t touch with Poison frontman Bret Michael’s wang…I heard he lost the other “t” in his first name to scabbies!) I’d like to give a heart-felt thought on the tragic passing of 25-year-old Eddie Griffin. The former T-Wolves/Rockets/Seton Hall forward lived with more demons in his head than one could imagine, but was one of the most amazing collegiate talents I’ve ever seen. Check out the 6-10 forward’s numbers as a freshman: 17.8 ppg, 10.8 rpg, 4.4 bpg, and 41 3-pointers. Maybe the demons made life too hard to keep going and he couldn't say no, or maybe next time organizations, college programs, and AAU leeches can do a better job of making sure they kill those damn demons!

With that, I know most of you are here for my Sporting-wit and not my NBA eulogies, so without further ado…I give you my FANTASY FOOTBALL NO-NO’S and Baseball ATS winners…

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August 24, 2007

Money Mike's Fantasy breakdown and daily Picks

Oh yeah professionals and amateurs…it’s Money Mike back from a long vacation ready to get this NFL season going! Hope everybody had a great summer and ready to make some money! Mad love to my boy GG for holding it down while I was gone. He has been doing a great job. One other thing I would like to mention before I get to the picks for the day……..the founders of Insideplays.com are in the process of ramping up things and bringing you more great info to this site in the coming months so continue to tell your homeboys and homegirls about us so we can make this site bigger than ebay!

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August 25, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 104-69.5 ATS Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Winners: 1-0 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Investing on the Pre-season comes down to who has more depth at QB and who can handle playing with a 3rd-team offensive line...

Sorry for leaving you without my picks & pics Friday, but the boss was a little insistent on my actually getting a deadline completed on time…crazy I tell ya! Today, my brother’s in-town so I’m off to enjoy the day with taller, smarter, and cooler version of me…Enjoy the weekend Homeboys!

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August 26, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 104-69.5 ATS Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Winners: 2-0 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Just call me Mr. Pre-season Homeboys! I’m hotter than a Tea-Kettle and hangover like a St. Louis Cardinal before they banned booze in the Clubhouse…Sunday Funday!

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August 27, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 105-69.5 ATS Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Winners: 2-0 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Instead of braggin’ about how I haven’t lost an ATS play since Hump Day or lambaste the White Sux for embarrassing themselves worse than a Bears’ LB in a contract year without a chauffeur, I promised my Cubbie Homeboys I’d eventually write some dialogue on their playoff push. Of course, I’ll still have my MLB picks and favorite swimsuits following the article and plenty of fantasy football action tomorrow, but today, it’s time to drink the Wrigleyville Kool-Aid that my friend Ronnie Woo-Woo mixed-up…

UNFORESEEN CUB HEROES TO MAKE SEPTEMBER PUSH
By: Chicago Awful Sox fan

On the drive into work or relaxing in-front of the tube late night, it seems each and every diamond guru is confident the Northsiders will capture the division. Considering the Brew Crew has survived without anybody stepping-up in the rotation lately or that the defending champs are a series sweep away from taking the top-spot, let’s just say I’m not ready to order the victory champagne just yet. While the experts are correct when they say the Cubbies have the best club on paper and have avoided the major injuries to the pitching staff, this late in the season--especially in a three-horse race, your Insideplay’s guru will tell you it simply comes down to who gets hot.

While the Wrigleyville faithful will say D. Lee is due for some trips over the ivy or that Big Z will once again find his wiffle-ball heat, each team has their big-boys that can carry a squad. So look to those unexpected heroes to step-up as the season comes to a close. Especially when these three play each other, they won’t let Aramis, Albert, or Prince beat them. Trust me, the boys that will determine if there’s a postseason in Chicago will be at the bottom half of line-up or the back-end of the bullpen. With that, let’s take a look at the three potential Cubbies that could lead us into October for some extra special baseball:

RYAN DEMPTSTER
2-4 3.24 ERA 21 Saves 2 Blown Saves
With Carlos Marmol absolutely dominating hitters as the best set-up man in the game, the pressure will continue to mount for our veteran, but somewhat new closer. While he talks a smooth game and has been extremely consistent this season, the former starter needs to be almost perfect in September to ensure a Cub postseason experience. Blown saves in a playoff race not only harm a closer’s psyche, they also seem to make hitters grip-it that much tighter and try to do too much. Dempster’s emergence as a closer after recovering from major elbow surgery a couple year’s ago is an awesome story, and I’d love to keep reading once October comes around.

JACQUE JONES
.270 5 HRs 47 RBIs 40 Rs
The former Marlin…wait, never mind…has become the Jekyll & Hyde of the Wrigleyville faithful. For some reason, the baseball gods always seem to put Jones in situations that change the flow of the game. After a horrific start, the former White Sox killer had a remarkable stretch in late July and most of August to carry the club in Alfonso Soriano’s absence. Especially playing out of position in CF, the ball never seems to be hit right at him and often leads to a fun adventure for the Caly kid and the Bleachers Bums. You know and I know the next time the Cubs are down 1 in the 7th with runners on the corners, Jacque will be striding to the dish and the baseball gods will be watching!

JASON KENDALL
32 games w/ CHC: .298 1 HR 15 RBIs 14 Rs
The longtime Pirate and mid-season acquisition from Oakland has finally found the slap/clutch swing that made him a fan favorite among the lunch pail crew in Pittsburg. While the 33 year-old backstop will continue to do a solid job of keeping the youngsters on the staff confident and the veterans happy, he’s definitely a liability with almost anyone on-base and must do a better job of making sure the pitchers keep the runners close. With catcher Henry Blanco back from the DL some might think Kendall would get a few more days to rest his banged-up body, but if you know anything about the San Diego kid…he’ll make sure Lou has him penciled in almost every game. Just like his time in Oakland this year and his early stint here, when he struggles…the team struggles. When he’s leaning into pitches and slapping it between 3rd and Short, it’s a sign to start chilling the champagne.

Everybody knows Chi-Town in October is a lot more fun when the turnstiles are moving in one of our two ballparks. And if all three of these veterans step-up their game, I expect to actually see a few Kendall, Dempster, & Jones jerseys at the ballparks in 2008

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August 28, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 105–70.5 ATS

*Greggy G’s 2007 Pigskin Picks: 2-0 ATS

Happy%20Birthday.jpg
Happy Birthday Sweet Lou...U the greatest!

Once again, my boss messed-up my fantasy football analysis with a stupid development project. Luckily, I researched my picks and lingerie last night and have 3 beautiful winners for ya. As for the Cubbies tonight, a huge series with the Brew Crew and the return of the only man who chews more gum than Andy Dick. Yes, Alfonso is back and ready to swing his 60 oz bat and make every flyball to left an awesome adventure. While I’m surprised Sweet Lou doesn’t force him to slide down the order, who am I to argue with a 64 year-old dude wearing baseball pants on his birthday. Once again, sorry for no football banter, but I degenerate has to do…what a degenerate has to do.

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August 29, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 106–72.5 ATS

*Greggy G’s 2007 Pigskin Picks: 2-0 ATS

College Football is just around the corner and I’m more excited than Tommy Lee with a fresh batch o’ Penicillin. We’re talking about 7 games on Thursday, including my alma mater Iowa “JUCO-Central” State, and a full-docket of action on Saturday. Just opening my USA Today to the daily lines I lost it faster than my 1st time on a twin bed just below my Spud Webb poster. While the diamond and hardwood have been fun (and more profitable than buying ankle-bracelet stock in Hollywood), I was born and raised investing my lunch money on the pigskin so make sure to check-in tomorrow and Friday for my College Football extravaganza! As for today, I promised a couple fellaz I’d have some Tight End analysis that would make a republican senator proud...

But before we get to that, I need to quickly address the Lance Briggs saga. In his statement yesterday, he said after the accident he ran from the scene, called a tow-truck, called 911 to report his car stolen, and then called back to admit crashing the vehicle because he realized he needed to own-up to his mistake. Which mistake Lance…crashing the car or realizing your story sucked? WHO CALLS A GOD-DAMN TOW-TRUCK AND THEN CALLS TO REPORT THEIR CAR STOLEN…Too funny, too FRICKIN’ funny! (BTW, did you read Monday's article...I told ya Jacque Jones would be the man!)

GREGGY G’S TOP-7 FANTASY TIGHT ENDS
If you don’t have one of the Top-7…you ain’t going to Sizzler!

1. ANTONIO GATES
05-06: 71 rec 924 yards 9 TDs
The former Kent State power forward saw his numbers drop from the previous 2 seasons, but that was more because he was just beginning to establish a rapport with 1st year starter Philip Rivers. Do you think Kobe Tai could spin-around without gettin-off during her rookie campaign…I think not. Especially in the red-zone with teams forced to shadow LT, this could be a record-breaking year for the freakish TE and I wouldn’t hesitate taking him in Round 4.

2. TODD HEAP
05-06: 73 rec 765 yards 6 TDs
Call me Alonzo Spellman (aka Crazy) for not taking Tony Gonzalez, but Heap had more catches than Gates and more Tuddies than Gonzo last season. Especially since this occurred under Air McNair’s first year, no reason to think he won’t improve on each of those totals. Also, reports are that the former Sun Devil has never been healthier, while the aging vet in KC has been hobbled by a knee injury.

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August 30, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Picks: 2-0 ATS

* Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 106–76 ATS

After getting’ my azz handed to me on the diamond worse than Ozzie Guillen, I couldn’t wait to wake-up from my cold-sweats for the 1st day of real football. And speaking of the great sport, I almost dropped my bloody this morning when I read about the arrest of former Trojan/Raider QB Todd Marinovich...let's just say he was skateboarding with a guitar-case that had a spoon, needle, and substance that wasn’t Milk Thistle inside. If that doesn’t say “Good Morning Greg Gamble”, I don’t know what does. To top things off sweeter than a cherry on Chinese masseuse, I have kick-azz seats for the Bears/Browns 3rd stringer special tonight. So with that, I’m heading right to ATS docket and giving you my Thursday Night Pigskin Picks:

BUFFALO BULLS @ #16 RUTGERS SCARLET NIGHTS (-32)
In every publication I’ve read, the Bulls are listed in the bottom 5 of the worst teams in all of D-1 football. The abysmal Buffalo program has won 7 games ova the last 5 years, and in their 10 losses last year, the margin of defeat was 24.4 points per game…and the majority of those came against MAC opponents. Moving to the Cinderella of college football last season Rutgers, Head Coach Greg Schiano has spent 6 years added depth, size, speed, and one of the deadliest rushing attacks in football. While FB Brian Leonard was the catalyst of the attack and is now playing on Sundays (St. Louis Rams), Jr. RB Ray Rice returns with Heisman aspirations (1794 yards, 20 TDs in 2006) and 4 staring O-linemen…and they now have room to add sophomore phenom Kordell Young to the mix. Not a good sign for a Buffalo squad that only has 1 starting LBer returning and doesn’t have the size or bodies to even control the Scarlet Nights 2nd team. Even thought Jr. QB Mike Teel was merely average as a signal-caller last year, he’s commanded the offense for a year and a ½ and supposedly has done nothing put work in with his WRs the entire off-season. With the ground game dominating tonight, I expect Teel to look like Joe Montana having all-day to throw and WRs twice the size of the Bulls’ secondary. As for the Buffalo offense, they sucked against the MAC and should be in for a shock when facing the size of Rutgers. While I wouldn’t touch this spread if it was week 3, all the favorites should dominate week 1 because the smaller schools haven’t seen these types of athletes up-close in more than 7 months. And forget about Rutgers overlooking this game, it’s the 1st game of the year and Schiano knows he needs blow-outs against the bottom-feeders now that he’s in the BCS mix.

Final Score: Rutgers 48 Buffalo 6

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August 31, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Picks: 4-1 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

* Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 107–76 ATS

Watching Da Bears play their 1st & 2nd teams only a series each last night, I struggled to understand how the Solider Field faithful could enjoy the game without a little coin riding on it. With Brady Quinn taking the majority of the snaps, the Browns made sure their prized investment was protected with NFL regulars and made an otherwise boring game watchable knowing Sizzler was going to be paid by my book. As for opening night in the collegiate game, the big-boys rolled (as I told ya) and my Cyclones lost at home to a team that couldn’t even convince Antonio Gates to play football there (Kent St.). But as you know, my loyalties are with the number and I get dizzy just looking at all the options this weekend. Throw-in some baseball games and my guy opening-up Women’s Volleyball lines and I don’t think they have enough St. Ides Special Brews in stock for me this weekend. Finally, before I get to my picks, after the game we rolled to a local watering hole and I was amazed how many fans were ready to build a wing in Canton for former Gator Chris “I’m smaller than Grossman” Leak. Considering he was playing against NFL Europe has-beens and “Little Giants” extras, I’m suggesting you hold off selecting him in your next fantasy league. With that, it’s almost Game Day so let’s put the women and dancers to bed and go looking for frickin’ filet mignon!

FRIDAY NIGHT ACTION

NAVY MIDSHIPMEN (-20) @ TEMPLE OWLS
While Iowa St. and Flavor Flav’s girls are pretty awful, they’re nuttin’ compared to possibly the worst team in all of Div. I…Temple. The Owls (1-11) lost by an average of 34 points a game last season, and actually played Navy in their ‘06 finale and lost 42-6. Tonight the game’s at Temple, so I’m guessing oddsmakers are giving 16 points for home-field nowadays. While there may be few more students in red, I don’t thing that’ll stop last year’s #1 rushing offense in the nation...especially since the Midshipmen are returning their top-6 RBs from last year. I know Navy graduated the majority of their defense from ‘06, but is that really a concern when the Owls scored 10 points thru the 1st four games last year...I think not!

PREDICTION: NAVY 42 OWLS 10

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About August 2007

This page contains all entries posted to Inside Plays in August 2007. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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