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Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 101-68.5 ATS Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Picks: 1-0 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Genius.jpg
My fantasy knowledge screams of a football genius!

Can the week start off any sweeter…3-0 in baseball, 1-0 in football, and I have my first fantasy draft of the season. The only one having a better week may be R. Kelly’s attorneys! I mean we just heard about Ronny Mex’s doggie dog world and a potential plea-deal has already been reached. Mr. “I believe I can Make it Rain on your Head” is accused of lewd acts with a minor on a video-tape, but the chick is now 46 years-old and claiming it’s not even her…yeah, that sound like an iron-clad case…looks like Bad Newz Kennels hired the wrong legal team!

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Eli just doesn't have the communication skills!

And how about news that pretty-boy Tiki is taking shots at ugly-boy Eli about his lack of leadership in the huddle…shiznit Eli, everybody knows Tim Hardaway could MC the Gay-Pride Parade better than your azz can convince Plaxico and Shockey to listen-up! But enough about a guy who shouldn’t get drafted unless you play in 66 team Fantasy league, today is the first day I defend my title in the Bowl O’ Dicks league. Since I only suffered one loss last year (and that had something to do with a certain NBA ref), I think it’s only fair to give my fellow opponents a little help in their fantasy selections tonight. With that, I give you Greggy G’s back-ups for the 2007-08 season you must consider…

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Quarterbacks
BILLY JOE HOBERT & BILLY JOE TOLLIVER
While both are still unsigned this season, nuttin’ says depth & stability than a QB named “Billy Joe”. If I had to pick between the two, I’d have to say I’m biased toward Tolliver…I’ve always had a thing for Red-Heads & Asians, and I don’t think the name “Hobert” screams Pacific-Rim.

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Running Backs
CURTIS ENIS & RASHAAN SALAAM
Both former Bear 1st round picks should be well-rested and ready for redemption. While the wacky-weed could be a problem for Salaam and distractions from the Lord could hinder Enis, just waking-up and seeing their name on my roster would make me smile bigger than Antonio Alfonseca when he found the “Extra Finger Glove Store”.

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Tight End
MARK CHMURA
While some experts think he’s ova the hill, Chmura (aka Chewy or To Catch a Predator) has had plenty of rehab stints in the hot-tub and we know the Packers can’t say goodbye to crazy-ole white dudes.

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Wide Receiver
SHANNON SHARPE
I know he’s retired and a former TE, but I’d sacrifice 0 pts for the season if it guaranteed I could get his marble-mouthed azz off the tube every Sunday!

On a serious note, following my draft tomorrow I’ll post my real fantasy rankings…cause I know your sleeping as well as Lindsay Lohan on some nose candy without ‘em!

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I like the Unda and she has liquor Unda-her...spooky!

KANSAS CITY ROYALS @ CHICAGO WHITE SOX (UNDA 9)
Yes, I know I’m going out on limb taking the unda with Jose Contreras on the mound, but scouting the Royals last night (honestly, I could only stomach about 4 minutes of these two Garbage-Pal teams)…they have a bunch of has-beens, never-wills, and Menudo members filling-up the scorecard. Also, the 47 year-old Contreras has had some extra rest lately and eventually has to remember how dominant he was just two years ago. As for the Royals starter, Brian Bannister (9-7, 3.31) has been one of the few bright spots the club has seen on the mound in the last 14 years…Sux/AAA Royals 3-6 total runs

Simple.jpg
As a fashion guru, I believe a simple bikini is so Unda-rated!

CHICAGO CUBS @ SAN FRAN GIANTS (UNDA 8.5)
I know you’re sick of hearing how ole’ the AARP Giants line-up is, but they’re actually older than the last time I told ya. As for hurler Barry Zito, he’s looked better lately (1-hitter thru 7 innings in his last start) and will be facing a Cub squad that has struggled all season versus lefties. On the rubber for Sweet Lou’s boys, Rich Hill only allowed 3 hits in his last start and is facing a retirement community that has the lowest batting average in all of baseball against southpaws (.240)…Cubs/Giants 3-6 total runs

And finally, the most unda-rated thing of all...
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...two chicks in pink serving wings!

Posted by Greg Gamble on August 22, 2007 12:26 PM |


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This page contains a single article from August 22, 2007 12:26 PM.

The previous days article was Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 99-68.5 ATS Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Picks: 1-0 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!.

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