Only the Gamblin’ Guru can turn a 2-game losing streak into a 3-game winning streak faster than you can say: “I watch women’s tennis for the volleys!” While my investments yesterday made me happier than Rae Carruth on visitation day, I can’t say I was too thrilled with the action, or lack there of, made by the two Chi-Town squads. Of course nobody cares about the White Sox, but since we have the worst minor league system in the game you’d think GM Kenny Will would trade more than a platooning outfield (Rob Mackowiak). The worst part of it…he actually had the best batting average on our sorry-azz squad (.278). I know that’s like saying the tallest midget or the tallest player in the Bulls backcourt, but with Rob, Guchi, and Pablo gone I’m selling my remaining tickets on Mike Tice’s website.
As for the Northsiders, I was in more shock than the day Fred Lane came home from work that Jim Hendry didn’t make a move. While the Wrigleyville Faithful will tell you everything is fine and it’s cool to throw garbage, how many times have you seen a World Series Champion, let alone a playoff team, have two outfield positions they platoon? In addition, while I love Theriot, Fontenot, and the two young lefties like Mark Chmura loves Teen-Bop Magazine, you can’t assume these guys are gonna continue the year like Dwight Smith and Jerome Walton did. I know I should stop complaining like an NBA veteran driving to the hole since the trading deadline means nuttin’ with the waiver/trade shiznit, but that’s like shopping for bball shoes at Payless.
Finally, another victory for the Smoke Daddy Softball team last night…even with my azz only DHing with foot injury after a horrific bathtub fall. And no, it wasn’t cause I was jiggling the jewelry or pounding an Arbor Mist while dancing to Snow-Informer. Anywho, I have to roll cause I have my mansion inspection today and need to make sure my girl’s white-tiger cage is up to regulation. Enjoy the day fellaz!
CHICAGO WHITE SOX @ NEW YORK YANKEES (-1.5 RUNS)
Even though the Southsiders lost a tough one last night (16-3 while givin’-up 8 frickin’ Homers!), I’m thinking their terrible bullpen, dead-last line-up, and a rookie pitcher will struggle against the Bronx Bombers. Oh yeah, the game’s also in New York…anybody know where I can get odds at -4.5 runs…Yankees by 5-8
Plus, the Yanks always play well in the Home Whites!
Sorry to only have one game, but after analyzing the White Sox/Yankees nuttin’ looks as good. I’ve decided to just triple-up on George’s boys.