First off, congrats to the Cubbies for signing Big Z (5 years, 91.5 million). A remarkable pitcher when his panties aren’t in a bunch, and even when he struggles, you never now if he’s going to bitch-slap a teammate or break a bat ova his knee…now that’s what I call entertainment! As for Ronny Mex, I bet his shuttle-time from the toilet to his cot will break all kinds of records at the penitentiary. And how about the NBA’s finest Tim Donaghy facing more and more charges, what can I tell ya Timmy…you look more like a catcher than pitcher to me! Anyway, before I roll, I have a few Fantasy notes for ya. I know I promised I’d finish my Sexy Subtle Steals for the draft, but unfortunately, you can trust me as much as you can trust a women’s bball coach not to go diving with her players! With that, here is my FF players I wouldn’t touch with Flavor Flav’s magic stick:
PHILIP RIVERS – (QB Rank #9)
I just don’t see much big-play potential in Rivers, not to mention, his WRing crop looks like an Arena League roster. I know the Lighting Bolts’ dominating run game opens-up the secondary and Antonio Gates is the best TE in the game, but with a new coach and the loss of speedy WR Eric Parker for 10 weeks…I’m not too excited about Philip’s fantasy numbers.
DONOVAN MCNABB – (QB Rank #6)
I’m a huge fan of the Chicago native, but he’s had some big injuries of late and I expect Andy Reid to be a little more conservative with the Pro Bowler this season. It’s also going to take Donovan a few weeks to get comfortable with his knee, and just like Philip Rivers, I’m not too impressed with his collection of WRs
MAURICE JONES-DREW – (RB Rank #15)
Jones-Drew’s emergence last season actually gave Fred Taylor the opportunity to stay fresh and enabled him to have the best rushing average of his career (5.0), so don't be suprised if continues to grab 20 carries a game. While Jones-Drew caught everybody by surprise last year and was remarkable at finding the end-zone late in the year, it’s tough to think he’ll duplicate those totals...and I just can’t get myself to invest in a 5’7” tailback.
PLAXICO BURRESS – (WR Rank #16)
You want this head-case…be my guest. Besides that fact that Eli isn’t any good, Burress has been hobbled by an ankle injury in training camp and still drops way too many balls. More importantly, Burress struggled with his concentration even when the game's mattered, and I have a feeling the Giants will be out of the playoff race by mid-October this year.
REX GROSSMAN – (QB Rank #25)
Do you like drafting players that are short, have small hands, and can’t move very fast…well, only if I’m drafting off a boat that’s carrying Asian wives!
AHMAN GREEN – (RB Rank #22)
Maybe he proves me wrong, but I think the former Husker’s game is falling faster than Michael Vick’s friendships. Especially with a team that has so many new faces at the skill positions, a young O-Line, a new coach, and RB Ron Dayne ldetermined to prove he’s not a bust…no chance he’s even given a back-up spot on Greggy G’s squad.
NEW YORK METS (-1.5 RUNS) (+105) @ WASHINGTON NATIONALS
The Mets are hitting 25 points higher against lefties (.291), and will be facing southpaw Matt “I swear he pitches 3 times a week” Chico who has a 5.40 ERA ova his last 3 starts. As for New York’s southpaw, Tommy Glavine has been lights-out lately with 2.41 ERA in his last 3 and doesn’t have the pressure of win #300 anymore…Mets by 3-5 runs
ARIZONA D-BACKS (-1.5) (+110) @ ATLANTA BRAVES
I know you’ve heard me bash the D-Backs line-up all season and seen me invest on them as much as I’ve invested on Ronny Mex rookie cards, but have seen Brandon Webb (12-8, 2.77) lately…33 consecutive scoreless innings! As for the Braves, no need to talk about their line-up with Webb on the mound, while they’ll be sending Lance Cormier (0-2, 13.50) to the bump where he’s pitching for a chance to stay with the team. While he’s only pitched 12.2 innings at the major league level this season, thru his 4 year career he’s logged 211 innings and complied an ERA of 6.19…we call that Very Bad at www.insideplays.com…D-Back by 2-4 runs
CHICAGO WHITE SOX @ SEATTLE MARINERS (-1.5) (+125)
Jose Contreras (6-14, 6.24) may be pitching his last game as a member of the Southside, and no matter how much I’d like to see him go out with a win…it’s not gonna happen. The White Sux win out west as much Charles Barkley wins at the Craps table, and will be facing veteran hurler Miguel Batista (12-8, 4.13) who always looks better against team’s full of youngsters who suck more than Debbie in Dallas. How about the Sux top two rookies in the line-up last night Jerry Owens & Josh Fields…0-12 with 6 Ks, now that’s what I call consistency. Great move to bat them 1st and 2nd Ozzie, you trying to lull the opposing pitcher into ova-confidence…Mariners by 3-5 runs