Greggy G’s College Picks: 5-4 ATS
NFL: 5-3 ATS - MLB: 112-85 ATS
Tryin' to fall asleep on Friday Night during football season reminds me of Christmas Eve as a kid. I ignore my regular dreams of Kobe Tai and Punky Brewster wrestling in Jell-O and Greggy G T-shirts, and usually find myself pouring a bloody before the sun comes up. The only downer this weekend could be the Hawkeye/Cyclone rivalry considering ISU looked like a Monkey waxing a Football against Northern Iowa last week. With that, let’s get to the madness…and no, I’m not talking about Stephon Marbury defending Isiah Thomas’s sexual harassment case. I’m sure the former Piston is just thrilled Starbury is his new spokesman…that’s like having Ronny Artest speak-up in defense of Michael Vick or Vince McMahon claiming steroids had nuttin’ to do with the death of an entire family…oh wait. Game on…
IOWA HAWKEYES (-18) @ IOWA STATE CYCLONES
Sure the losses to Kent St. & UNI at home were more embarrassing than the time I traded my Upper Deck Ken Griffy Jr. rookie card for seven Junior Felix’s and some jujubes, but...
...but nuttin'. New Cyclone Headmaster Gene “I’m more conservative than abstinence” Chizik has averaged less than two TDs per game and basically told 6-6 WR Todd Blythe he’d rather see him work the middle of the field. Sr. QB Bret Meyer seems totally lost in the new system and may be pressing with the thought of losing his job to a freshman (Austen Arnaud). With Chizik’s newfound job security and the season already loss, why wouldn't he get next year’s QB a lil more seasoned. While it probably wouldn't happen till mid-season, you can't tell Meyer isn't looking over his shoulder more than Rae Carruth in the shower. As for the Hawkeyes and as I told you before, Jake Christensen will lead Iowa to a Big Ten title by the time his eligibility is up. Not that I think he’s Joe Montana or Todd Doxzon, but he’s poised in the pocket and captures the leadership role that every big-time college QB needs. Throw-in one of the most underrated RB duos in the game and a DL line that will destroy the Cyclone turnstiles up-front, and this could get embarrassing. With that said, 18 points seems just about right and I wouldn’t touch this game unless I had a gambling problem…oh wait
FINAL SCORE: IOWA 38 IOWA 17…BUT I DON’T RECOMMEND IT!!!!
NOTRE DAME FIGHTING IRISH @ MICHIGAN WOLVERINES (-7.5)
Even though Michigan has looked worse than ECU once Joe Cain went down in the movie The Program, they still have some veteran superstars and size up-front to look like a Big Ten power. As for the Irish, besides looking awful, they look slow, small, and younger than R. Kelly’s groupies. If the Wolverines get-up early, expect them to smell blood in the water and look to demoralize Charlie’s boys, while the Big House crowd will act as thought their playing for the National Title. RB Mike Hart’s numbers don’t make sense for 0-2 squad (158 rypg, 6.6 avg) and should look even better against an undersized Irish front that is giving up 215 ypg on the ground. Throw-in WRs Mario Manningham & Adrian “Cedar Rapids” Arrington’s game-breaking ability, and I'm guessing Chicago’s very-own Tommy Zbikowski is going to have a long day chasing them all by his lonesome. As for the Irish’s skill positions, nobody has more the 70 yards receiving, 40 yards rushing, and they are filled with more underclassmen than a frat-house party. And finally, we head to the freshman QB match-up. Michigan’s Ryan Mallatt is bigger than the entire LBing crew for the Irish, while Jimmy Clausen seems more nervous than Remy before Busta Rhymas beat his azz in Higher Learning.
FINAL SCORE: MICHIGAN 31 NOTRE DAME 13
MINNESOTA GOLDEN GOPHERS @ FLORIDA ATLANTIC OWLS (+8)
Under new head coach Tim Brewster, the Golden Gophers opened the season losing to Bowling Green and needed overtime to beat Miami (OH)…both at home. This Saturday, they’ll be leaving the comfort of their cozy dome and will be playing in the hot, sticky Florida sun. While FAU looked lousy on the road last week at Oklahoma St., they looked solid in their home opener beating a Middle Tennessee St. team by 13 that almost pulled-off an upset against Louisville last week. The Owls are returning 19 starters from last year and are led by veteran coach Howard Schnellenberger who was an assistant under Bear Bryant, an assistant on the Miami Dolphins 1972 championship team, and the head coach for the University of Miami’s 1st championship in 1983. While he may have old balls, just like in Adam Sandler’s Big Daddy...old balls can still knock the dust of a young pussy-cat, and hopefully, a mid-level Big Ten talent. As I Midwesterner myself, I know I’m distracted every time I head to Florida…the opening for Miami Vice wasn’t lying…chick do wear thong bathing suits!
FINAL SCORE: MINNESOTA 27 FLORIDA ATLANTIC 24
TEXAS TECH RED RAIDERS (-28.5) @ RICE OWLS
Unlike last year, I waited until the Red Raiders’ defense had a little slip-up before re-investing my grandma’s birthday check on them. While the offense has been flawless so far (47 ppg), after allowing only 3 FGs to SMU, the D gave-up 31 points to Mike Price’s wilily UTEP squad. My guess is coach Mike Leach has challenged the defense to not let another season slip through their secondary and will have his boys ready to redeem themselves. And what a better opportunity than against a Rice squad that only scored 16 points in a loss to Nicholls St. to open the season. Even better, last week the Owls were manhandled 42-17 by another spread-offense in Baylor, a team that the Red Raiders beat by 34 at the tail-end of last year. Finally, early in the year my motto is to bet against new coaches for mid-majors…and you guessed it, the Rice Owls are breaking in a new headmaster like Mark Chmura breaks-in High School girls!
FINAL SCORE: TEXAS TECH 54 RICE 17
CHECK BACK SATURDAY FOR TEASIN’ T-BONE’S PICKS AND MAYBE A LIL MORE LUV FROM YOURS TRULY…HAPPY FRIDAY BEEATCHES!!!