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Check back later for some Thursday College Football luv!
* current rank (week 2 rank) (week 1 rank)
32. (27) (22) BUFFALO BILLS (0-3)
I bragged about Lee Evans, I drafted Lee Evans, and thru 3 games he has 5 catches and 29 yards. If that doesn’t scream come to Insideplays.com, I don’t know what else does!
This Week: @Bills 20 Jets 24
31. (29) (29) MIAMI DOLPHINS (0-3)
THEY DRAFTED TED GINN JR. 9TH OVERALL!!! I’m guessing next year they’ll draft Chuck Knoblauch to play QB.
This Week: @Miami 17 Raiders 23
30. (30) (31) ATLANTA FALCONS (0-3)
The day Joey Harrington throws for 361 yards, 2 TDs, zero picks, and loses is the day he should send his resume to Career Builder.
This Week: @Falcons 30 Texans 24
29. (32) (32) KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1-2)
LJ rushed for an average of 1.8 and KC won…that’s crazier than a pornstar with a wedding ring!
This Week: Chiefs 17 @Chargers 27
28. (20) (16) ST. LOUIS RAMS (0-3)
Let’s just say I dropped Mark Bulger and picked-up Joey Harrington for Fantasy. And yes, my theory of not drafting a back-up QB is only working better than Travis Henry’s theory not to wear a condom.
This Week: Rams 20 @Dallas 41
27. (30) (26) NEW YORK GIANTS (1-2)
Let’s just say Coughlin gave Gibbs a little Hot Carl treatment. BTW, have you ever seen a player of the game award given to a guy who carried the ball 3 times and averaging 1.0 per carry? Say hello to Reuben Droughns!
This Week: @Giants 17 Philly 31
26. (25) (30) CLEVELAND BROWNS (1-2)
I know you probably didn’t see my favorite former college QB playing every position, Joshua M*tha F*ckin’ Cribbs, return a kickoff 99 yards cause who watches a QB battle between Derek Anderson and the two-heading phenom know as McCown & Culpepper.
This Week: @Browns 17 Ravens 20
25. (28) (27) OAKLAND RAIDERS (1-2)
I bet you didn’t know Lamont Jordan was 2nd in the NFL in rushing yards, or that the back of Warren Sapp’s pants no longer look like a slip-n-slide.
This Week: Raiders 23 @Dolphins 17
24. (26) (17) NEW YORK JETS (1-2)
Have you ever seen an NFL team just run 10-yard patterns cause the QB went to the same arm-strengthening school as Jacque Jones?
This Week: Jets 24 @Bills 20
23. (23) (21) MINNESOTA VIKINGS (1-2)
I like their defense, but I don’t like when your QBs are so bad RB Mewelde Moore is throwing passing…or the fact that they lost to the Chiefs!
This Week: @Vikings 20 Packers 17
22. (22) (24) ARIZONA CARDINALS (1-2)
Some conniving asshole tried to tell me that Kurt Warner is still playing…yeah, and I bet he hates Jesus and his wife’s tata’s are now 32Bs.
This Week: @Arizona 24 Pitt 30
21. (10) (6) NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (0-3)
I told ya last week once the Saints started getting Deuce more involved things would turn around…my bad, I meant RB Aaron Stecker!
This Week: Bye
20. (15) (25) WASHINGTON REDSKINS (2-1)
Just when I thought Joe Gibbs may still have some magic, Tom Coughlin removed the white rabbit and put a wet turd in his hat.
This Week: Bye
19. (24) (28) TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (2-1)
I was just about to convince my girl we should name our 2nd child Jeff “I’m not Gay!” Garcia, but then looked at his upcoming schedule and saw @Carolina, @ Indy, and Tennessee. That’s more dangerous than dating Fred Lane’s girlfriend.
This Week: Bucs 17 @Panthers 24
18. (17) (20) HOUSTON TEXANS (2-1)
I almost dropped them to 32rd in my rankings cause WR Andre Johnson is completely ruining any attempt of Fantasy trash-talking in both my leagues. Actually, the Texans are a pretty solid team, but their stuck in the best division in football (AFC South- Indy, Jax, Tenn). That’s like the opposite of having to play all Iowa and Iowa State back-to-back.
This Week: Houston 24 @Falcons 30
17. (21) (23) SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (2-1)
I’m still not a believer, but their divisional opponents are worse than the morning after a KFC and Red Bull Vodka party.
This Week: @49ers 20 Seattle 24
16. (14) (18) DETROIT LIONS (2-1)
Even with 3 TVs and the Sunday Ticket, I can’t seem to put anything else on the tube beside Jonny Kitna.
This Week: @Lions 31 Chicago 24
15. (9) (8) CINCINNATI BENGALS (1-2)
If Cincy has a few more losing weeks, watch as Ocho Cinco turns into a bigger pain in the azz than TO and Bill Doran (Major League) combined.
This Week: @Cincy 31 Patriots 38
14. (4) (4) CHICAGO BEARS (1-2)
Brian Griese will make a huge difference…and so will the fact that half the Bears defensive starters are injured and Cedric Benson looks like he doesn’t give a Jenna Jameson.
This Week: Bears 24 @Lions 31
13. (16) (13) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (1-2)
Maybe Donovan was just nervous the 1st few weeks waiting for his controversial QB comments to surface (No joke, anybody who thinks what he said is not true is dumber than my azz the week after Vegas) BTW, I picked up Kevin Curtis (last week: 11 rec 222 yards 3 TDs) in Fantasy this week…so he’s guaranteed to post a 2 point day!
This Week: Eagles 31 @Giants 17
12. (13) (12) BALTIMORE RAVENS (2-1)
While the Ravens have squeaked by both the Jets and Cardinals at home, it’s not like Billick’s boys haven’t been doing that for years. Only this time, at least they have a Black QB to blame if things go wrong.
This Week: Ravens 20 @Browns 17
11. (12) (5) CAROLINA PANTHERS (2-1)
Not very impressive against the Falcons, especially defensively, but playing the NFC is easier than scoring ditch-weed in a trailer-park.
This Week: @Panthers 24 Bucs 17
10. (6) (3) SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (1-2)
With O-Coordinator Ron Turner hiding behind Rex in Chicago and Charger coach Norv Turner trying to hide his face, I think the next generation of Turner’s are screwed if their seeking NFL employment. Even with Norv, I think the Lightning Bolts have too much talent not to bounce back.
This Week: @San Diego 27 Chiefs 17
9. (19) (19) GREEN BAY PACKERS (3-0)
I told you last week not to believe the hype, and then they bitch-slapped the Chargers…maybe you shouldn’t believe my hype!
This Week: Green Bay 17 @Vikings 20
8. (7) (11) DENVER BRONCOS (2-1)
With a 2nd year QB, new RB, and completely rebuilt D-line, this is one of the only times you’ll hear my use the cliché: No, not wash your hands before eating the buffet at Gentlemen’s Club…I’m talking about the team may actually learn something from a loss.
This Week: Denver 20 @Indy 31
7. (11) (14) TENNESSEE TITANS (2-1)
Nobody is more poised in the pocket with bodies flying around him than Vince Young (well, maybe Kobe Tai, but that’s after years of practice), and now the D is moving around like T.T. Boy at pool party.
This Week: Bye
6. (18) (15) JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (2-1)
I know this is a huge jump for the Jags, but they had the nicest win on the road so far (Denver) and look like the most physical offense in football. Plus, Jack Del Rio is so damn sexy!
This Week: Bye
5. (8) (7) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (2-1)
Somebody has to play the Cowboys in the NFC Championship…and who knows, Romo could get injured.
This Week: Seahawks 24 @49ers 20
4. (5) (9) PITTSBURG STEELERS (3-0)
Every new coach should start-off with the Browns, Bills, & 49ers…and now the frickin’ Cardinals! I'm guessing Charlie Batch has some kind of Goodfellas connection.
This Week: Steelers 30 @Zona 24
3. (3) (10) DALLAS COWBOYS (3-0)
I’m not gay (too often), but I would definitely sleep with Tony Romo. The only probably is he’d probably sidestep me before I could grab him.
This Week: @Cowboys 41 Rams 20
2. (2) (2) NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (3-0)
As mentioned the 1st two weeks, until the Cheeters have home-field over the Colts they will remain in the 2-spot. But damn, they look hotter than Cindy Crawford drinking a Pepsi years back.
This Week: Pats 38 @Cincy 31
1. (1) (1) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (3-0)
Don’t be fooled, the Colts are more concerned about keeping everybody healthy than they are about being Belichick efficient. Not much more to say then get your Super Bowl money on them before it’s too late
This Week: @Indy 31 Denver 20
BTW, are you guys a fan of cheerleaders...