Game Day my friends, let's roll! We'll start-off with my Homeboy Teasin' T-Bone's picks and then roll to yours truly...Holla
TEASIN’ T-BONES WEEK 3 WINNERS
2007 Results: 3-0-1 ATS; 0-2 Teasers
Football season is now settling in my friends….conference play, chilly mornings, and 7am tailgating sessions, man I love this time of year. Since I already know the outcome of the Hawkeye/Cyclone rivalry, I’ve been able to focus all of my drunken brain cells on ATS play. Week 3 is my teaser turnaround as well so put the bong down and read up.
Virginia @ North Carolina -3
This game stuck out like Greggy G with his Tupac cardboard cutout at the million man march. I normally don’t throw down on ACC matchups, but Virginia friggin’ sucks bad. They didn’t show up at Wyoming and took until the 4th quarter and a freshman QB to get past lowly Duke, who are now riding a successful 22 game losing streak. The Tarheels do one thing well, and that is allowing TJ Yates to throw vertically and score points quick. Add that to playing on their home turf and the baby blue squad walk away in the 3rd quarter. NC by 12
Louisville –6 @ Kentucky
These offenses are just like my bedroom stamina, two minutes at a time and TOUCHDOWN!!! Louisville had its scare last week and their defense will step up to the plate this week. They will still give up 30 against a potent Kentucky ‘O’ led by Andre Woodson, but it still allows the red birds to win by 20 as they surpass 50 points yet again. Brohm and Allen create a great combo that will leave the Wildcats in a neutral defense that will be reeling all day long. If ya don’t like the points on this just look at the over, anything under 75 is a five star. Louisville by 20
TEASER SPECIAL
Iowa teased down to –11.5 @ Iowa State
The Hawks/Clones matchup this year equates to this…a college senior frater stalkin’ that freshman hottie finishing up her 6th beer, the deal will get sealed, it’s just a matter of when and how interesting it is. Iowa has a year when they can absolutely beat up their rival in Ames, and Ferentz is foaming at his lackluster performance in the past 10 years against the Clones. Iowa starters don’t get a chance to sit cuz Ferentz won’t allow it, Hawks by 17
Fresno State @ Oregon teased down to –10.5
The Ducks are rolling and the Bulldogs just suffered a heartbreaker to Texas A&M last week. I don’t know that Fresno can stop Dixon as he has another week of experience in the spread offense and appears to be two steps ahead of everyone chasing him. If Oregon can stop the Dogs TE Bear Pascoe early, this one could be over by halftime. Ducks by more than two TDs
GREG GAMBLE'S WEEK 3 COLLEGE WINNERS
Greggy G’s College Picks: 5-4 ATS
NFL: 5-3 ATS - MLB: 112-85 ATS
IOWA HAWKEYES (-18) @ IOWA STATE CYCLONES
Sure the losses to Kent St. & UNI at home were more embarrassing than the time I traded my Upper Deck Ken Griffy Jr. rookie card for seven Junior Felix’s and some jujubes, but...
...but nuttin'. New Cyclone Headmaster Gene “I’m more conservative than abstinence” Chizik has averaged less than two TDs per game and basically told 6-6 WR Todd Blythe he’d rather see him work the middle of the field. Sr. QB Bret Meyer seems totally lost in the new system and may be pressing with the thought of losing his job to a freshman (Austen Arnaud). With Chizik’s newfound job security and the season already loss, why wouldn't he get next year’s QB a lil more seasoned. While it probably wouldn't happen till mid-season, you can't tell Meyer isn't looking over his shoulder more than Rae Carruth in the shower. As for the Hawkeyes and as I told you before, Jake Christensen will lead Iowa to a Big Ten title by the time his eligibility is up. Not that I think he’s Joe Montana or Todd Doxzon, but he’s poised in the pocket and captures the leadership role that every big-time college QB needs. Throw-in one of the most underrated RB duos in the game and a DL line that will destroy the Cyclone turnstiles up-front, and this could get embarrassing. With that said, 18 points seems just about right and I wouldn’t touch this game unless I had a gambling problem…oh wait
FINAL SCORE: IOWA 38 IOWA 17…BUT I DON’T RECOMMEND IT!!!!
NOTRE DAME FIGHTING IRISH @ MICHIGAN WOLVERINES (-7.5)
Even though Michigan has looked worse than ECU once Joe Cain went down in the movie The Program, they still have some veteran superstars and size up-front to look like a Big Ten power. As for the Irish, besides looking awful, they look slow, small, and younger than R. Kelly’s groupies. If the Wolverines get-up early, expect them to smell blood in the water and look to demoralize Charlie’s boys, while the Big House crowd will act as thought their playing for the National Title. RB Mike Hart’s numbers don’t make sense for 0-2 squad (158 rypg, 6.6 avg) and should look even better against an undersized Irish front that is giving up 215 ypg on the ground. Throw-in WRs Mario Manningham & Adrian “Cedar Rapids” Arrington’s game-breaking ability, and I'm guessing Chicago’s very-own Tommy Zbikowski is going to have a long day chasing them all by his lonesome. As for the Irish’s skill positions, nobody has more the 70 yards receiving, 40 yards rushing, and they are filled with more underclassmen than a frat-house party. And finally, we head to the freshman QB match-up. Michigan’s Ryan Mallatt is bigger than the entire LBing crew for the Irish, while Jimmy Clausen seems more nervous than Remy before Busta Rhymas beat his azz in Higher Learning.
FINAL SCORE: MICHIGAN 31 NOTRE DAME 13
MINNESOTA GOLDEN GOPHERS @ FLORIDA ATLANTIC OWLS (+8)
Under new head coach Tim Brewster, the Golden Gophers opened the season losing to Bowling Green and needed overtime to beat Miami (OH)…both at home. This Saturday, they’ll be leaving the comfort of their cozy dome and will be playing in the hot, sticky Florida sun. While FAU looked lousy on the road last week at Oklahoma St., they looked solid in their home opener beating a Middle Tennessee St. team by 13 that almost pulled-off an upset against Louisville last week. The Owls are returning 19 starters from last year and are led by veteran coach Howard Schnellenberger who was an assistant under Bear Bryant, an assistant on the Miami Dolphins 1972 championship team, and the head coach for the University of Miami’s 1st championship in 1983. While he may have old balls, just like in Adam Sandler’s Big Daddy...old balls can still knock the dust of a young pussy-cat, and hopefully, a mid-level Big Ten talent. As I Midwesterner myself, I know I’m distracted every time I head to Florida…the opening for Miami Vice wasn’t lying…chick do wear thong bathing suits!
FINAL SCORE: MINNESOTA 27 FLORIDA ATLANTIC 24
TEXAS TECH RED RAIDERS (-28.5) @ RICE OWLS
Unlike last year, I waited until the Red Raiders’ defense had a little slip-up before re-investing my grandma’s birthday check on them. While the offense has been flawless so far (47 ppg), after allowing only 3 FGs to SMU, the D gave-up 31 points to Mike Price’s wilily UTEP squad. My guess is coach Mike Leach has challenged the defense to not let another season slip through their secondary and will have his boys ready to redeem themselves. And what a better opportunity than against a Rice squad that only scored 16 points in a loss to Nicholls St. to open the season. Even better, last week the Owls were manhandled 42-17 by another spread-offense in Baylor, a team that the Red Raiders beat by 34 at the tail-end of last year. Finally, early in the year my motto is to bet against new coaches for mid-majors…and you guessed it, the Rice Owls are breaking in a new headmaster like Mark Chmura breaks-in High School girls!
FINAL SCORE: TEXAS TECH 54 RICE 17
CHECK BACK SATURDAY FOR TEASIN’ T-BONE’S PICKS AND MAYBE A LIL MORE LUV FROM YOURS TRULY…HAPPY FRIDAY BEEATCHES!!!
