MLB Picks: 115-91 ats - NFL Picks: 12-9 ats - College Picks: 10-15 ats
TENNESSEE (3-2, 2-1 away) @ HOUSTON -3 (3-3, 2-1 home)
Once Andre Johnson gets back, QB Matt Schaub may have one of the deadliest group of deep threat WRs (Kevin Walter & Andre Davis) since Rae Carruth was dating chicks he knocked-up. You guys know I’m a huge Vince Young fans, but not at 80%...and especially not if he’s holding the clipboard for Kerry Collins.
Final Score: TEXANS 23 TITANS 13
SAN FRAN (2-3, 1-1 away) @ NY GIANTS -7 (4-2, 2-1 home)
I can’t believe it either…the Giants seem to have rallied behind Tom Coughlin and Plaxico Burress seems to be running routes with Tom Waddle precision. Next thing you know Tiki Barber will stop showing us all 136 of his purley whites and will make a valid thought in pre-game. As for the 49ers, I couldn’t tell you shiznit about them because I’d rather watch the WNBA while eating chick peas. Is it true that Trent Dilfer is really QBin for them?
Final Score: GIANTS 24 49ERS 13
MINNESOTA (2-3, 1-2 away) @ DALLAS -10 (5-1, 2-1 home)
While there will be a hang-over effect following the Patriot debacle and I fully expect the Vikings to run all ova the Cowboys, having somebody named Tarvaris win in Dallas is a lot different than having somebody named Tom win in Dallas. This will be closer than people think, but look for Jason Witten to have some big catches in the 4th quarter to pull this one out like a frat-boy without a rubber-hat.
Final Score: COWBOYS 27 VIKINGS 23
TAMPA BAY (4-2, 1-2 away) @ DETROIT -2.5 (3-2, 2-0 home)
Martz’s offense coming of the bye-week and playing at home should get the Lions up early. While Tampa’s defense has been stout this season, the surface in Detroit will cause some problems for Chucky’s defense, especially since his team is more suited to stop a powerful ground game. As for RB Earnest Graham, if he has a big day that means Greggy G’s fantasy squad might be back in the win-column…and you know what that means, 2 fumbles and 25 yards for EG!
Final Score: LIONS 27 BUCCANEERS 20
NEW ENGLAND -17 (6-0, 3-0 away) @ MIAMI (0-6, 0-2 home)
How you think Belichick’s magic with effect Cleo Lemonade? I agree…like mixing Everclear and pop-rocks!
Final Score: PATRIOTS 31 DOLPHINS 13
BALTIMORE -3 (4-2, 1-2 away) @ BUFFALO (1-4, 1-2 home)
While the wax-statue known as Dick Jauron will never win an Emmy, everywhere he goes his players luv him more than Pamela luvs rocker-shlong and they always play better as the season progresses. Coming off a bye week and an impressive performance against the Cowboys, I fully expect them to surprise the overrated Ravens at home. QB Trent Edwards has been better than advertised completing almost 70% of his passes, while he also has the weapons/speed at WR to cause Baltimore’s hard-hitting/overly aggressive secondary some problems. While RB Willis McGahee will be psyched to run all ova his old squad, the Ravens don’t have any weapons on the outside to loosen-up the middle and should struggle to move the ball with Todd Heap more banged-up than Courtney Love after a doctor’s visit
Final Score: BILLS 20 RAVENS 17
ATLANTA (1-5, 0-3 away) @ NEW ORLEANS -9 (1-4, 0-2 home)
While Joey Harrington is no Joe Montana or Peter Tom Willis, it doesn’t matter what he does since the Falcons WRs could have the worst set of hands since Rex Grossman and Dave Krieg were playing in a hot-potato tournament. As for the Saints, with 49ers on the schedule the following week, they’re going to be back in the mix faster than you can say: “David Patton caught 8 balls for 113 yards last week?”
Final Score: SAINTS 30 FALCONS 20
ARIZONA (3-3, 1-2 away) @ WASHINGTON -8.5 (3-2, 2-1 home)
QB Jason Campbell has looked extremely composed all season, while the Skins defense has gotten better and better each week (held Detroit to 144 total yards, Packers to 225). Throw-in all kinds of QB trouble for Zona and some homefield Hog-action, and if Joe Gibbs loses this one he should walk-away like Alonzo Spellman on Illinois Highway 22 without his medication.
Final Score: REDSKINS 20 CARDINALS 17
NEW YORK JETS (1-5, 0-3 away) @ CINCINNATI -6.5 (1-4, 1-1 home)
Both teams need this victory more than the Baldinger Brothers need to get hit with a frying-pan. I know the Jets are in disarray, but I think it actually helps that Pennington will be on the road and kind of like their balanced-attack (RBs T. Jones/L. Washington, WRs J. Cotchery, S. Moss). As for Cincy, Palmer’s O-Line is getting worse by the game and the defense is getting more embarrassing with every season Marvin Lewis has been on the sideline.
Final Score: JETS 27 BENGALS 24
CHICAGO (2-4, 1-2 away) @ PHILADELPHIA -5 (2-3, 1-1 home)
I have a feeling were gonna see a shoot-out Homeboys…and I don’t think that’s good news for the Bears squad that can’t tackle or cover. Throw-in a QB that’s just starting to get back to his old-self and will be playing against his hometown team, and I’d be shocked if Adam Archuleta and Daniel Manning weren’t benched by the 2nd quarter.
Final Score: EAGLES 34 BEARS 24
KANSAS CITY (3-3, 1-2 away) @ OAKLAND -3 (2-3, 1-1 home)
Obviously, the first time I pick the Chiefs to win, Damon Huard will go back to simply being one of the Flying Huard brothers…but I’m not that bright and am actually starting to fall for the Chiefs like a groupie on All-Star weekend. As for Oakland, they’re a couple weeks away from JaMarcus Russell at QB and Dominic Rhodes as the new full-time RB…as for this week, I have no idea if Jerry Porter wants to play or if Dante Culpepper is any good. How you like them applies BEEATCHES!
Final Score: CHIEFS 20 RAIDERS 16
ST. LOUIS (0-6, 0-3 away) @ SEATTLE -9 (3-3, 2-1 home)
Both these teams suck, but the Rams defense sucks even more than the Seahawks. As for the outcome, don’t be surprised if the Rams actually score a TD, if Shaun Alexander finally looks like an NFL RB again, and if anybody outside of these two cities watches this garbage.
Final Score: SEAHAWKS 24 RAMS 20
PITTSBURGH -4 (4-1, 1-1 away) @ DENVER (2-3, 1-2 home)
The Steelers have a better defense and a better QB. If you take the Broncos, that’s like taking Jenna Jameson ova Kobe Tai just because you’re in America.
Final Score: STEELERS 27 BRONCOS 23
INDY -3.5 (5-0, 2-0 away) @ JACKSONVILLE (4-1, 2-1 home)
Only 3 QBs have a better rating that David Garrard and only 4 teams have a better rushing attack than the Jaguars…while their defense is 2nd in the NFL in points allowed at 11.6 pts/g. Throw-in some Florida homefield, WRs that will make the little DBs on Indy look like Ben Gordon guarding most 2-guards, and an offensive scheme that’ll keep Peyton on the sideline more than he likes, and I see Jack Del Rio really happy in his kick-azz suit.
Final Score: JAGUARS 26 COLTS 24