College Picks: 8-10 ATS - NFL Picks: 7-7 ATS - MLB Picks: 113-92 ATS
I’m back you lil degenerates…oh wait, I’m the born-again sinner. Normally, I give you detailed breakdowns and unbridled humor, but after a sub-par week that made Travis Henry look like a guidance counselor…I’m guessing you’re not in the mood for my antics. What can I say, even Kobe Tai had a few days when she didn’t have the same bounce in her hips…but did she quit, hell no, she turned the corner like Troy Davis and made a youngster smile. You know who that reminds me of…ur Homeboy Greggy G!
WISCONSIN BADGERS @ ILLINOIS FIGHTING ZOOKS (UNDA 53)
With the Badgers and Illini tied atop the Medium-sized Ten...
With the Badgers and Illini tied atop the Medium-sized Ten, I expect these coaches to be extra conservative, especially with starting QBs that have been inconsistent for much of the season. Especially with two power running backs (P.J. Hill & Rashard Mendenhall), I expect at least 60 carries between the two and a few more FGs than TDs. Today’s contest is program altering opportunity for Ron Zook, and I can’t see him letting So. QB “The Juice is kinda-Good” throw away any opportunities (is that a pun, or am I simply clever as hell?). On the Badger side, QB Tyler Donovan is merely the middle-man between the center and a slimmed-down P.J. Hill, and I would be more surprised than seeing Britany buying underwear if he threw it more than 20 times. The Medium-sized Ten is underway and everybody knows the games getting slower and slower as the season progresses…so it would be stupid not to take the unda.
Final Score: BADGERS 20 ILLINI 17
NOTRE DAME SLOW WHITE IRISH @ UCLA BRUINS (-20.5)
Besides the debacle at Utah, the Bruins have been awesome this season. Especially with the heartbreaking loss in South Bend last year and the fact that nobody will take it easy on Charlie “Man-Boobs” Weis, I expect the Bruins to bury the peddle once they get rolling. The Irish O-Line has been abysmal this season and should have all kinds of trouble with the speed of strength of the Bruins line, especially the man-child DE Bruce Davis. Throw-in a crowd that will luv to see the Catholics lose and I wouldn’t be surprised if UCLA won by 40. Just because the Irish scored a few points against the Boilermakers last week (who were looking ahead to the Buckeyes), doesn’t mean the Irish doesn’t suck more than Paris Hilton on an oil-tycoon.
Final Score: UCLA 41 NOTRE DAME 13
ASU SUN DEVILS (-9) @ WASHINGTON STATE RYAN LEAFS
The undefeated Sun Devils have been blowing everybody out this year (thanks to blow-hole coach Dennis Erickson), while the Cougars have lost their 1st two Pac-10 games by an average of almost 30 points…and lost by 21 to an offensively challenged Wisconsin Badger squad. ASU’s RB tandem of Ryan Torian & Keegan Herring has been awesome all season (753 yards 5.7 avg 8 Tds), while Jr. QB Rudy Carpenter has flourished under Erickson and returned to his freshman from when he threw 17 Tds and only 2 Ints. As for Ryan Leaf’s former team, that were crushed by 28 last week against the 2nd best team in Arizona and already seem to have mailed in the season.
Final Score: SUN DEVILS 48 COUGARS 24
Check back tomorrow morning for some SUNDAY FUNDAY!