The college football scene worked me over this weekend like a sorority girl with a back-tat...but as Mark McGwire taught me, I’m not here to talk about the past. If I was going to talk about the past, I’d say congrats to the Cubbies and hopefully somebody grabbed my suit-jacket from Da Cougar’s wedding on Friday…which made my Saturday wedding a much more casual affair (every time I think of buying another suit I end-up purchasing an Adidas jumpsuit that makes me look like a Polish mobster). BTW, Polish mobsters don’t deal in drugs, prostitutes, or gambling…it's mostly just the underground sale of fruits and vegetables. Anyway, the move to my palatial estate was a success since my girl hasn’t opened any boxes and found: “How Stella Got her Tube Packed” or “The Joy Suck Club”, and I’ve already become a regular at the local watering-hole. I can’t believe they’ve never seen somebody cry on missed FG of 25 point blowout. With that, I’m rolling into a lil Monday Night Football action and finally look forward to a week of studying spreads instead of moving boxes…Holla
NEW ENGLAND CHEATERS @ CINCINNATI BENGALS (OVA 53.5)
The Pats have scored 38 points in each of their 1st three contests, and I can’t see how they don’t come close to that number against a Bengals squad that ranks 30th in total yards and 31st in points allowed. While the Pats defense has looked awesome statistically, it doesn’t seem as impressive when you consider it’s been against the Jets, Bills, and the artist formerly knows as the Chargers. QB Carson Palmer always looks awesome at home and has the size at WR that may hurt the Pats undersized secondary. Throw-in the fact that Rudi Johnson doesn’t look like he’ll play, and I expect Cincy’s O-Coordinator to treat this like a Flag-Football match-up. Finally, who doesn’t luv betting the ova? Every punt return, fumbled snap, and Int is cause for celebration and deserving of an extra splash of Vodka in the White Russian. Trust me fellaz, it’ll make it a memorable night!
Final Score: Pats 37 Bengals 30