ATS - NBA: 6-6 – College: 21-21 - NFL: 14-15 - MLB: 116-91
After dominatin' the '06-07 NBA season and closing-out MLB 26 games ova .500, I’ll admit I wasn't prepared for a Pigskin or Hardwood start that has me lookin’ more average than Winnie Cooper (...while I understand the infatuation with the Wonder Years girl, I’m rolling with Wanda from Doogie Houser MD…u know she would’ve been into crazier shiznit!). Even though I’ve letdown some of my faithful followers and brilliant sponsors, I’m not gonna act like a team coached by Bill Callahan or Marvin Lews and just quit…I’m gonna right this yacht and turn the deck into party that would make Tommy Lee and Pamela jealous. Full slate on the Professional Ballers Circuit tonight and more college action than I got when I told chicks I was an extra on “Saved by the Bell”. 1 Teaser & 5 straight-up...Game on Homeboys, time to put the Asians and midgets to bed and go lookin’ for frickin' dolphin & caviar!
SEC/BIG 12 TEASER SPECIAL
FLORIDA GATORS (6-3) (teased to -1) @ S. CAROLINA COCKS (6-4)
KST WILDCATS (5-4) (teased to -1.5) @ NEB.CORNSUCKERS (4-6)
And it goes a lil' something like this...
Trust me like Bison Dele trusted his brother (wait, bad analogy)...just trust me that whenever Urban Meyer plays Steve Spurrier he’s not just playin' to win, he’s playin' to bring his legacy closer and eventually past that of the ‘Ole’ Ball Coach’. While the Gamecocks have given the Gators fits during Meyer’s tenure, I believe the depth and speed of Florida’s roster is far superior to SC’s late-season fading squad. After rollin’ early, the Cocks have lost 3 in-a-row, including a double-digit home loss to Vanderbilt and last week’s defensive performance that saw Arkansas rack-up 48 points. As for the banged-up Gators, after the slip-up against Georgia, they bounced back with an easy 27-pt victory against Vandy and have started to see their young phenoms get more comfortable with the system. Meyer was able to limit QB Tim Tebow’s bodily-harm with the blow-out, while this week, expect the battering-ram to look sharp and determined to help his coach and fellow youngsters make another statement towards their legacy…damn, the sounds good! I’ll probably take it straight-up (-7) too (that’s because I have a problem), but teasin’ it down to a point prevents that dirty back-end cover… “Dirty Back-End Cover”, 90% guarantee you can find that Video at a truck-stop!
Final Score: URBAN MEYER 34 ‘OLE BALL COACH 23
The line for the Kansas St/Nebraska tilt is lower than the so-called shorts I saw the last time I went to homecoming because of the Wildcats loss to a one-win Iowa State squad. While I’m not sayin’ the Cyclones are watchable, they do have a Sr. QB, WR, & LB that have shown flashes of brilliance and youngsters that are starting to get a feel for the new coaching staff. Also, I think the Kansas heartbreaker a month ago took a toll on the youngsters and carried into Ames. With that said, bowl-positioning is tightening-up and I expect the Wildcats to be extra focused and ready to pounce on a dead-man-walkin’ Nebraska squad like TT Boy on a newcomer to the business. The players know Callahan is gone, and also know that Tom Osborne is probably bringin' in a coach that requires a different style of player (aka…not bad players). I’m guessing anybody not donning a “SR” description in the program was spending more time finding a new place to play than listening to the most fired man since the The Cavemen show creator. Love it straight-up (-7.5), but teasing it to -1.5 is like not having to say I luv U and still getting’ some luv!
Final Score: WILDCATS 42 CORNSUCKERS 23
#25 KENTUCKY WILDCATS (6-3) (-4) @ VANDY COMMODORES (5-4)
After a remarkable 1st half of the season that was topped-off with a victory against #1 LSU, the SEC schedule caught-up to the Wildcats as they lost a heartbreaker in FLA a week after LSU and looked completely out-of-gas the following week against Mississippi St. While everybody needs an off-week, nobody needed it more than Kentucky. As a result of the lay-off, star Sr. WR Keenan Burton has returned from an ankle injury and Sr. speedster Rafael Little (6.4 ypc) returns to a backfield that has started to develop some of its youngsters. And we haven’t even mentioned that one of the best QBs in the country Sr. Andre’ Woodson (28 Tds & 7 Ints) had some extra time to prepare. As for Vandy, they're in desperate need of a bye-week having played straight thru since September 1st...and it showed in a 27-pt spanking at FLA last week. How you think that tired squad felt after the trip to the Swamp…I’m guessing more winded than a DPer after the second shot (if you don’t get that, you probably aren’t as blind or arthritic as my ass!)
Final Score: WILDCATS 30 VANDY 20
E. CAROLINA PIRATES (6-4, 5-1) (-7) @ MARSHALL (1-8, 1-5)
The Pirates quietly have become one of hottest teams in football. After an opening day battle at Virginia Tech and a throttling by WV week 4, Coach Skip Holtz (yes, son of the leather-face Leprechaun) has led an aggressive squad to a 5-1 record and atop the C-USA west. Last week they went to Memphis (4-5) and rolled by 16 on their way to scoring a season’s best 56 points. As for the Matthew McConaughey coached Herd, their only win came against two-win Rice and were run out of Central Florida last week 47-13. And word from my sorority-girl scouts, Holtz has his kids believing their the next superpower to come from a smaller conference and should have an opportunity to show it against a team ranked #110 in total yards allowed.
Final Score: PIRATES 47 THUNDERIN' HERD 30
NBA ACTION IS FRAT-TASTIC
TORONTO RAPTORS (2-3) @ PHILLY 76ERS (2-2) (2.5)
The Raps are reeling having lost three in-a-row and playing with a star (Chris Bosh) that is not nearly close to 100%. In addition, besides the PG position, Toronto looks extremely slow (especially on the wing with Kapono, A. Parker, Delfino, etc.), which is not a good sign with Iguadola and Sammy D having a home-crowd to excite. Also, with Andre Miller providing stability at the point and Reggie Evans doing everything and anything to grab a rebound (or a nutsack), the 76ers are going to surprise plenty of squads this year. And finally, how about the showdown between slow white shooters…Jason Kapono versus Kyle “Don’t call me Ashton” Korver. I don’t know about you, but I’ll take the one who looks like he’s bangin’ Demi!...76ers by 4-7 points
ATLANTA HAWKS (2-2) (+9) @ BOSTON CELTICS (3-0)
Nobody will cause the Big 3 more match-up problems in the East than Hot-Lanta. With youngsters Marvin Williams and Al Horford banging with KG, Josh Smith’s freakish athletic ability blanketing Paulie, and Joe J & Childress’s height preventing open looks from Jesus Shuttlesworth, I see a Hawk squad dominating the glass and abusing the slow-footed bench of Doc “you saved my job Danny” Rivers. The Hawks have played everybody tough with their two losses coming at DET by 1 & at NJ by 5, and their two wins at the hands of Western powerhouses (DAL & PHX). Finally, don’t you want to be the guy on the block who shocks people with news that Atlanta will top Boston tonight? That’s like hanging in 1st class on the Titanic and predicting a poor-boy named Leo with clean out his balls on engaged woman of royalty status…Hawks in an upset!
(teasin' PHX to -4.5 is also nice...if ur into that kind of thing)
PHOENIX SUNS (3-2) (-8.5) @ MIAMI HEAT (0-4)
Rumor from my NBA groupie scouts is that Amare will be playing tonight. You know what that means, the Matrix and Baby Jesus will be dunking on the break while The Diesel and Zo will be standing at half-court. Throw-in a pick-n-roll disaster for Jason Williams on the two-time MVP, and I don’t see how this isn’t a double digit lead all-night for the Fiery Balls. Especially with PHX already coming-off their 2nd loss of the season and knowing how competitive home-court is in the West, look for the veteran squad to be running-and-gunning like a playoff game…and the Heat to be staring at D-Wade on the beach like I used to stare at the TV when the Noxema girl was washing her face…I luv u Rebecca G!...Suns by 12-16 points