ATS - MLB: 116-91 - NFL: 14-14 - College: 20-20 - NBA: 2-2
I apologize for my dreadful performance yesterday…I never thought I’d say this about a Sunday Funday, but that extra hour was definitely filled with depression and hard alcohol. After a lil more than half the season, I’m exactly 34-34 ATS on the gridiron and feel like more of a failure than Andy Reid SHOULD feel about being a dad. But unlike the selfish coach, who should be suspended by the NFL for having numerous drugs, guns, syringes, etc. easily found by investigators in his home, let alone, should step-away simply to prove to his sons that they are more important than his career, Greg Gamble understands the mistakes he’s made and promises to utilize what he’s learned to light-shit-up in the 2nd half. Just like Heather Locklear gets hotter as the years’ pass, Greggy G gets smarter as the winds get nippier. As for the NBA, it’s early, and you know I’m a genius when it comes to professional hardwood investments. So let’s finish-up the week with some Monday Night Luv, Asia Carrera “Putting it all Behind”-style, on both the pigskin and the only round ball Tim Hardaway thinks you should play with.
MONDAY NIGHT TEASERS
BALT RAVENS @ PITTSBURGH STEELERS (teased to -4 & unda 42.5)
The Ravens have been abysmal on the road this year going 1-3 and averaging only 14 ppg…and that’s come against defenses like the Bengals (L) and Browns (L)! Tonight, they face the NFL defensive leader in points allowed (13 ppg) and total yards (257 ypg), and will be starting an always banged-up Steve McNair for his 1st action since week 5. While the Ravens defense only trails the Steelers in total yards and ranks 6th in points allowed, with a healthy Big Ben under center, the lightning-quick Willie Parker, the power of Najah “poop in the closet” Davenport, and studs at WR & TE, Pittsburgh has quickly become an offensive juggernaut. Especially with the Monday Night stage, I see these two coming-out and trying to control the time-of-possession battle…which should favor the team that can actually pass for a 1st down. HC Mike Tomlin is a no-nonsense defensive-minded caoch, and I expect him to do everything he can to keep the aging and injured Ravens defense on the field. While I fully expect the Steelers to dominate this contest, a late Baltimore TD against a prevent D could bring the score from 17 to 10 just before the final gun sounds …so why not tease it with the unda (the Ravens can’t score!) and make sure you don’t stay up late to end-up pushing on some BS.
Final Score: STEELERS 24 RAVENS 10
BALTIMORE RAVENS @ PITTSBURG STEELERS (teased to -4)
HOUSTON ROCKETS (teased to +9) @ DALLAS MAVERICKS
I’m definitely more confident in the Steelers at -4 than I am with the unda in that game, so I’ve decided to also tease Pittsburg with T-Mac and the Great Wall of China. McGrady’s offensive game already seems to be in mid-season form, minus the injuries, and he appears extra motivated after another 1st round playoff exit. Houston has looked awesome on the road so far with an opening night win at Kobe’s 4-sale house and in Salt Lake City by double digits to an impressive Jazz squad. Expect the Rockets to mix things up against Dirk (Battier, Hayes, & Scola), while the Mavs still haven’t played with their regular starting line-up yet and may need a few games to get adjusted (Josh Howard suspended 1st 2 games & Devin Harris thigh injury-game time decision). These two teams know each better than Tom Brady knows supermodel underwear and I fully expect another great match-up tonight…Mavs by 1-5 points