I am very happy to switch over to the pigskin today after watching my chastity belt money lock of the day lose a 14 point lead yesterday. With the NFL season wrapping up there are a few teams that are fighting for playoff spots and bragging rights, and a few that have simply given up and are waiting to get the golf clubs out. Lucky for us they just happen to be playing each other this weekend(Shhhhh, don’t tell Vegas). So read on and as always….left hand drink, right hand mouse.
My guess is that if you find the rest of this bikini bottom you will find the fins 13 wins that they lost.
Baltimore Ravens –4 @ Miami Dolphins
The Ravens have lost five in a row(4 of them to playoff teams) and have actually been scoring some points while doing so which is why I love this one cause you know that Dr. Lewis is going to have his D ready to go. There is no way that Ray Ray is going to let his team forget that the fins have a goose egg in the win column and more importantly how the Ravens won’t be their first. On the Miami sideline, you will see a bunch of players making millions of dollars that will be playing hard today, but forgot to do anything the last 6 days in preparation. I can just about imagine how many people showed up late, left early, or didn’t watch enough game film, and that spells disaster in the bigs. Miami doesn’t score more than 10 while the Ravens roll by at least 8.
Peyton won't be pullin' back the reigns today!!
Indianapolis Colts –11 @ Oakland Raiders
I don’t even remember who’s coaching the Raiders anymore and the only reason I care is because he has the audacity to say that Jamarcus Russell will get the majority of the playing time but isn’t going to start him. That’s like me tellin’ the wife that she gets me at the end of the night, but I’m going to start by having another girl suck the chrome off my bumper, it just leads to a whole lot of unnecessary emotions. So with that distraction Peyton and the Boyz have been preparing as usual and will put up 30+, but more importantly the Colts D will use this game to make sure the rest of the playoff contenders don’t forget what they did last season….shut down all offenses on the way to the crown. Colts by 20.
Teasers are like back door cheeks, they are only good two at a time.
TEASERS
Green Bay teased down to –2.5 @ St. Louis
Simply put, the Pac Man wins today and will be near perfection in a dome which mysteriously has no wind and is 72 degrees year round.
Washington @ NY Giants teased down to +1
Campbell is out, the Skins are out of the playoffs, and Manning is showing all the New York faithful why he is their starter. I could write more, but why.
