Every year this weekend is bitter sweet. True fans get some of the best football all season while we all know that this means 3 weeks of college football drought followed by 47 friggin’ bowl games that don’t mean sh*t before the finale that is damn near played in the middle of January. So there is only one way to handle it, be pissed and sober or do it up T-Bone style….wake up hungover, pop enough pills so that Marshall Mathers would cringe, release your demons in the shower and mix up a whiskey that makes you close one of your eyes and tilt your head sideways. And don’t forget to spread your money around so you have a vested interest in everyone wearing a uniform, cuz it’s GAMEDAY F*CKERS!!!
Virginia Tech –5 against Boston College
The Hokies are hitting their stride at the right time and can thank their last month of motivation to Matt Ryan and his BC Eagles when they stole a victory from them 14-10 in which VT dominated the whole game. Since then Beemer has rolled up his opponents 144-59 in 4 dominating victories. On defense Tech shuts down the run first and keeps the heat on the passing game whenever possible. VT has the edge in two football staples…the running game and overall D, while BC has their overhyped QB that has struggled about as bad as Ben Stiller pronouncing Brett ‘the PacMan’ Favre’s last name in There’s Something About Mary. Hokies roll big as CFL Ryan throws 2 picks and gets sacked at least 4 times. VT by 14.
Oklahoma @ Missouri +3
Mark this one down in history fellas cuz the #1 team in the f*ckin’ nation is getting points on Saturday. Chase Daniel performs week in and week out like your best friends mom that used to make chocolate chip cookies and only invite you over for Saturday morning cartoons(until you hit on her when you were in college and drunk simply because you wanted to get your 40+ card). With Tony Temple back for the Tigers and freshman phenom Jeremy Maclin running up 200+ a game I don’t see how Oklahoma and their young QB Bradford can keep up in this meeting. Scoring will be quick and often(close your eyes and think back to high school w/ your sweetie once you finally broke her down) so anything over 75 points creates a great parlay. I say this with conviction my fellow degenerates, f*ck the points and roll with Mizzou on a straight up win.
La Tech @ Nevada Reno teased down to –1
This one is very simple…La Tech traditionally plays horrible on the road(3-11 in last 14 with 2 of them against the cellar of the WAC), while Reno can hardly lose at home(13-3 in last 16). Both teams are done after this game which means the Bulldogs have been hanging out at the bunny ranch instead of focusing on game film, and its gotta be senior day in Reno, what more do you need?
Washington @ Hawaii teased down to –8
June and Colt are absolutely fired up that their 11-0 record doesn’t even get mentioned when the experts are discussing the top 10 teams, so they will take their opportunity to absolutely dismantle a big conference opponent. But the surprising part in this game will be how the Fembows defense will hold the Huskies under 20. Washington ballers better get leid while on the island cuz it will be the only type of win they will get for another 9 months.