Anybody can produce ten versions of a mock draft after being lied to for months by GMs and scouts…aka smokescreen…kinda like having a top-10 list of adult performers and basing your selections on who looked like they liked you the best. Even more ridiculous is the claim that you grab the best player available instead of what your need.. Sure, if your planning on trading the pick, I understand the logic, but if your desperate for a position or can’t stomach a dude with a huge posse…PICK WHAT’S BEST FOR YOUR TEAM! With that, I give you MY most logical selections if I were GM, what the so-called mock experts pick, and most importantly, a beautiful hottie that best represents each selection…enjoy Homeboys:
1. CHICAGO BULLS – MICHAEL BEASLEY
PF/SF 6-8 239 lbs Age: 19 Kansas St.
Who they’re projected to take: DERRICK ROSE
In todays pick n roll/pop NBA world, Beasley’s combination of a silky-smooth/quick-release J & a ridiculous ability to finish w/ either hand in traffic will be beyond nightmarish for every opponent to defend. While I’ll admit his antics ova the last few weeks had me thinking of a young Punky Brewster (not in that way), every time I witnessed him touch the floor at Kansas St. I saw a confident S.O.B. with a dominating presence & win at cost-passion for the game. With an AAU-type coach, the best squads in the country triple-teaming him, and watching him maneuver with ease against collapsing zones, his ability to light-up teams more often than Smokey in Friday was absolutely jaw-dropping.
While Rose will be a phenomenal addition to the Bulls, for all the criticism of the current Chi-town guards, they’ve never had an inside presence or go-to scorer to loosen things on the perimeter. In addition, Paxson’s current overprized & undersized backcourt will not bring-in what most fans think on the trade market, while Drew Gooden’s expiring contract & efficient low-post play…or T-Time’s still oozing potential would bring back twice as much. I know I’m in the minority, and it’s pretty much a forgone conclusion, but don’t bitch to me when The Bease is averaging 25 & 10 and taking his team to the finals by year four.
2. MIAMI HEAT – DERRICK ROSE
PG 6-3 196 lbs Age: 19 Memphis
Who they’re projected to take: MICHAEL BEASLEY
The lightning quick, athletic guard is only missing a consistent J and natural passing instincts to instantly become GM Johnny Pax’s savior. While he’s an unbelievable kid and a lock to be a dominate PG for the next 15 years, I believe pairing him w/ a superstar early in his career is much more of a necessity than people realize…and unfortunately, any backcourt running mate Vinny Del Baio picks (Capt. Turnover Kirk, the undersized/defenseless Gordon, & Lazy Larry Hughes) might actually stunt his growth. I luv ya Rose, and that’s why I want to see you running with D-Wade & GM L.A. Looks in South Beach.
3. MINNESOTA T-WOLVES – O.J. MAYO
SG 6-4 200 lbs Age: 20 USC
Who they’re projected to take: O.J. MAYO
While I don’t know how he fits on the Wolves w/ a game similar to Randy Foye, everybody and Shawn Kemp’s 24 baby's mamas want him after the big two. Whether they believe they can fit him alongside Foye or trade him for twice the value, McHale & his hairy armpits has no choice but to take him. After earning a star for being overrated & selfish on my Draft Board early in the year, watching him mature ova the course of the season & handle the hype surrounding his status was astounding. Throw-in a ridiculous cross-ova, range well-beyond the arc, and some underrated ball-handling that would make Brandi Belle proud, he’s simply too talented to pass-up. As for the scandals & payoffs circulating about him…what else do expect from a kid from USC.
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4. SEATTLE SUPERSONICS – JERRYD BAYLESS
PG/SG 6-3 204 lbs Age: 19 Arizona
Who they’re projected to take: BROOK LOPEZ
Nobody in this draft has the combination of a long-range silky-smooth J & an ability to get to the rim with ease to match Bayless. And for all the talk that he’s not a natural point, I believe he’s more selfless than most of the combo guards & has a bball IQ to make the transition. Paired w/ Durant, the Sonics would immediately have the deadliest combination of young scorers on the perimeter in the league. While everyone thinks they need something in the middle after busting on every center taken in the last five years, some of those guys still have potential…and in contrast, they have nobody worth a damn in the backcourt.
5. MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES – KEVIN LOVE
PF 6-10 255 lbs Age: 19 UCLA
Who they’re projected to take: ERIC GORDON
The Grizz are loaded w/ frontcourt potential to easily find someone to pair with the high-post wizard from UCLA. There’s not a doubt in my mind Love will eventually become a threat from behind the arc, and already has vastly underrated strength & athleticism enabling him to immediately compete on the glass. For all the talk that his body may never handle the professional rigors, never before have I heard that about a freshman with a lil body-fat that still averaged 18 ppg, 11 rpg, 1.5 bpg, 56 fg% & 35 3pt%...and has more natural passing skills than his over-hyped teammate Russell Westbrook.
6. NEW YORK KNICKS – DANILO GALLINARI
SF 6-9 212 lbs Age: 19 Italy
Who they’re projected to take: DANILO GALLINARI
Besides Gallinari’s natural Gucci shoe-type fit w/ D’antoni, the kid is the definition of a point-forward and has an aggressiveness that will make him a rich man’s Boris Diaw. Also, with a roster full of me-first players, he will immediately change the culture in Gotham, and more importantly, help D’antoni teach his up-tempo style. And after watching tape off Q Richardson, Jared Jeffries, & Wilson Chandler from last year, new GM Donnie Walsh really has no choice but to address the glaring hole at SF.
7. LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS – ERIC GORDON
SG 6-3 222 lbs Age: 19 INDIANA
Who they’re projected to take: RUSSELL WESTBROOK
With Maggette and/or Brand probably leaving in year & a backcourt full of roll-players, Gordon gives the Clippers a legitimate scoring option w/ the potential to stretch the defense as he develops some NBA range. Even if he struggles with his J early-on, his ability to get to the charity-stripe with today’s NBA rules will be an immediate asset. While Gordon looked awful to end the season in Indiana after absolutely dominating the 1st half, you can’t tell me a teenager wouldn’t be affected by all the turmoil surrounding an NCAA investigation…let alone fighting through a nagging wrist injury.
8. MILWAUKEE BUCKS – JOE ALEXANDER
SF 6-8 220 lbs Age: 21 West Virginia
Who they’re projected to take: JOE ALEXANDER
Hello Scottie Skiles, my name is Joey Alexander and I’m a taller more athletic version of Andres Nocioni. While his potential is John Hammond desperate to change the soft style of the current roster, Alexander’s tireless work-ethic and nastiness is exactly what they need in Milwaukee…as well as for the ladies to stop eating cheese for all six of their daily meals.
9. CHARLOTTE BOBCATS – RUSSELL WESTBROOK
PG 6-3 192 lbs Age: 19 UCLA
Who they’re projected to take: KEVIN LOVE
While I have Westbrook dropping like one of R. Kelly’s “friends” he used to pick-up from Rockin-Roll McDonalds, this still is an amazing spot for a kid who barely cracked the top 100 on draft boards a year ago. Also, thanks to the performance of Rojan Rondo this postseason, the value of athletic PGs that love to defend is higher than Snoop Dogg during air-travel. While Brook Lopez & Kosta Koufos seem like a perfect fit alongside Okafor, because of the trade w/ Denver for the 20th pick and all the young bigs dropping, His Airness & Larry “Leaving Soon” Brown can afford to snap one up later. Not to mention, I have a feeling the crabby coach isn’t too excited to see the chunky, defensively-challenged Raymond Felton running the show for too long.
10. NEW JERSEY NETS – BROOK LOPEZ
C 7-0 258 lbs Age: 20 Stanford
Who they’re projected to take: D.J. AUGUSTIN
The Nets have accumulated some athletic bigs with rebounding & shot-blocking skills the last few drafts and desperately need one w/ a back-to-the-basket game…and Lopez fits the bill and is physically the most NBA ready pivot in the draft. While I definitely believe Koufos has more upside and could be the steal of the draft, with what the Nets already have, grabbing a polished big ASAP makes much more sense.
With T.J. Ford now in the mix, the Pacers grab Ali Larter-Varsity Blues whip cream bikini & overall kinky vibe-underrated Kosta Koufos. With a ridiculous wing-span, a smooth jumper, and some nastiness, I can’t believe NBA gurus took longer than me after too much Whiskey to move him up their boards. The atmosphere following a NCAA Championship game and an entire squad leaving for the draft left unbelievable expectations/pressure on the youngster in Columbus, not to mention, his game is much more suited for the NBA pick-n-pop game.
12. SACRAMENTO KINGS – D.J. AUGUSTIN
PG 6-0 172 lbs Age: 20 Texas
Who they’re projected to take: JERRYD BAYLESS
Can you say thank you Larry the Legend…with D.J. dropping the Nets don’t have to gamble with Randolph, stretch for Chalmers, or overpay for Beno Udrih. Now, all D.J. needs to do is make sure his offensive productions outweighs his defensive liabilities.
Just cause D.J. might be looking up at the competition, doesn't mean he can't handle it!
13. PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS – ANTHONY RANDOLPH
PF 6-10 197 lbs Age: 18 LSU
Who they’re projected to take: ANTHONY RANDOLPH
With Oden a fixture in the middle for the next decade, the Blazers can let the ridiculously athletic & raw Randolph develop behind Aldridge and finally trade Channing Frye for a PG…who still has value, but doesn’t seem to be a McMillan favorite.
14. GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS – ALEXIS AJINCA
C 7-1 240 lbs Age: 20 France
Who they’re projected to take: DONTE’ GREEN
With Koufos gone, Nellie won’t be able to pass-up a foreign project w/ some athleticism and a 10-foot wingspan…that’s like Will Ferrell or Adam Sandler passing on an awful Sports Movie script.
15. PHOENIX SUNS – MARIO CHALMERS
PG 6-2 170 lbs Age: 22 Kansas
Who they’re projected to take: BRANDON RUSH
No matter how much they luv Rush, with Nash another year older they can’t afford not to develop a true PG…and by making this pick, they now can use Barbosa as trade bait for a coach looking to change the tempo in order to find some help for Grant Hill at SF.
16. PHILADELPHIA 76ERS – J.J. HICKSON
PF 6-9 240 lbs Age: 19 NC State
Who they’re projected to take: DEANDRE JORDAN
I frickin’ luv J.J. Hickson and cannot figure out why he’s so low in every mock draft. The freshman had six double-digit rebounding games in the ACC, including 23 versus Clemson, and has shown snippets of a well-rounded offensive repertoire. And the 76ers are more desperate for a PF than Denise Richards is for attention (tell me Charlie Sheen’s not picturing hate…never mind). While he’s probably a year or two away, at this spot in the draft almost everyone is. Especially with Sammy D’s athleticism and lack of a low-post game, Hickson’s game could be the perfect compliment alongside.
17. INDIANA PACERS – DARRELL ARTHUR
PF 6-9 216 lbs Age: 20 Kansas
Who they’re projected to take: MARIO CHALMERS
I agree the Pacers desperately need some insurance at the point with Ford’s health and Bird’s desire to get Tinsley as far from Indiana as possible, but in my mock draft Chalmers is gone and no other PG’s worth a damn are available. While they have a plethora of slow-footed pivots and grabbed center Koufos earlier, they still are extremely bare at PF with only Troy “thankfully I played well in my contract year” Murphy & the undersized Ike Diogu quickly moving past the potential-label to potentially Europe-bound. Even though Arthur’s thin frame desperately needs a strength coach, with the up-tempo style of Coach O’Brien and a void behind Granger if they rid themselves of another headache in Shawn Williams, the former Jayhawk has too much talent at both spots for Larry to pass on him.
18. WASHINGTON WIZARDS – MARREESSE SPEIGHTS
C 6-10 245 lbs Age: 19 Florida
Who they’re projected to take: DARRELL ARTHUR
While Arthur has been pegged here from Day One as a perfect fit to potentially replace Jamison, I believe Speights’s strength and rebounding prowess are actually a better fit for Coach Eddie Jordan & the Wiz. If this kid can spell the rumors about his work-ethic & conditioning…he could be the biggest steal outside of the lottery.
19. CLEVELAND CAVALIERS – DONTE’ GREEN
SF 6-9 221 lbs Age: 20 Syracuse
Who they’re projected to take: ROBIN LOPEZ
For all the talk the Cavs need help down-low, the last time I checked they have Joe Smith, Big Ben & Z, & Side Show Brazilian Bob. What they’re missing is another wing w/ athleticism and some long-range potential. With King James easily able to handle the 2-spot, could you image how dangerous this 6-8/6-9 combo could be on the perimeter.
If they’re able to grab a guard that drops early, they’ll be able to grab any number of bigs that drops late. The Cats O Bob would luv to move Okafor to his natural PF position, and while DeAndre Jordan & JaVelle McGee have the potential, old-azz Larry Brown can’t affort to wait. And for all the grief Hibbert receives, he’s ready to step in right away and has an extremely underrated low-post game…of course it helps when your 7-2 and already have a nice baby-hook.
21. NEW JERSEY NETS – BRANDON RUSH
SF 6-7 205 lbs Age: 22 Kansas
Who they’re projected to take: RYAN ANDERSON
If Rush drops this far, the Nets will be able to grab the SF that makes Richard Jefferson much easier to trade starting tonight. As for why I think he drops, no…it doesn’t have anything to do with his brothers, while I agree he has a vast array of skills, wings w/out a deadly jumper or off the charts athleticism seem to be a dime a dozen.
22. ORLANDO MAGIC – JASON THOMPSON
PF 6-11 250 lbs Age: 21 Rider
Who they’re projected to take: COURTNEY LEE
Even though most so-called experts believe the Magic are desperate for a SG, with a frontcourt spot alongside Howard (unless you count Hedu & Lewis as PFs) and numerous bigs still available, I can’t see how Ron Jeremy doesn’t convince his bosses to get some more meat (get it…Hedgehog & more meat…damn I’m funny). Thompson’s ability to handle the NBA rigors is tough to gage because of the sorry-azz frontcourt competition in the MAAC, but with a nice mid-range game, some decent post moves with his back-to-the-basket, and a nice wing-span, it’s tough to see how he drops much further. While he’s not a great athlete and may struggle defensively, who better to mask those inefficiencies than the freakshow that is D-Howard.
After dealing with Ostertag, a Collins brother, and Okur, DeAndre Jordan’s freakish body & athleticism is too enticing for Sloan to pass on. And if anybody can improve his work-ethic…Utah might actually be the place.
With McGee dropping like Paris on an oil-tycoon and the Sonics in no rush to win from my estimations, they can afford to develop his miniscule-frame w/ Wilcox & Collison at PF and might luv seeing him run with Bayless, Durant, Green, & Petro in Oklahoma City someday.
25. HOUSTON ROCKETS – ROBIN LOPEZ
C 7-0 245 lbs Age: 20 Stanford
Who they’re projected to take: MARREESSE SPEIGHTS
With the injury plagued Great Wall and the 57 year-old Mutombo, Lopez fits the bill of true-center that can play 15 minutes in the Association tomorrow. While most mocks have this Lopez projected much higher, the 7-footer only averaged 10 ppg & 6 rpg in a conference void of many players ova 6-10. Especially with all the attention given to his brother, you’d think he would have been able to put-up better numbers against the opponent’s 2nd best big.
26. SAN ANTONIO SPURS – RYAN ANDERSON
SF/PF 6-10 225 lbs Age: 20 California
Who they’re projected to take: NICOLAS BATUM
With Oberto on the downside of his career and completely inept on offense, it be nice to find a rich man’s Matt Bonner to pair alongside Timmy D this late in the draft…and the kid can space the floor and has a motor that Pop’s will luv.
For all the talk they’re desperate for a point and might grab Chalmers early, I don’t think the Jayhawk is even better than Jarrett Jack. And if Weaver turns out to be even somewhat of true point, how scared will some of the undersized backcourts be if Roy & Weaver can make it work as a tandem.
Grabbing Love early means they can pick-n-choose between the SGs left to replace Miller once he’s eventually traded. Like Miller, Lee is nasty from long-range and would pair nicely with Gay to provide the speedy Conley some nice kick-outs.
Sweet shooting guards remind me of the classics
DETROIT PISTONS – CHRIS DOUGLAS-ROBERTS
SF 6-6 195 lbs Age: 21 Memphis
Who they’re projected to take: JASON THOMPSON
With Tayshaun desperately needing a back-up and last year’s pick of Afflalo looking like a stretch to back-up Hamilton, maybe Joey D can kill two birds with one stone by grabbing a crafty wing w/ a winning background.
BOSTON CELTICS – J.R. GIDDENS
SG 6-5 208 lbs Age: 23 New Mexico
Who they’re projected to take: CHRIS DOUGLAS-ROBERTS
If this kid didn’t have character issues he would’ve been a top 20 pick two years ago. And what better way to keep this ridiculous talent from acting-up then placing him with KG and the defending champs.