It looks like he's wants to be a future White Sox player...and if he is, he better practice runnin' slow and strikin' out a lot! (Sorry, I'm still pissed my baseball team is eventually gonna be in 3rd place and that Pax didn't have the balls to take Beasley.)
CHICAGO CUBS (-110) @ CHICAGO WHITE SOX
The Dikembe Mutombo of the diamond, Jose “no-way I’m 36” Contreras has slipped back to his 2007 “I can’t handle my divorce so I’m pitching like shiznit”-approach. Over his last three starts, Contreras is 0-3 with a 10.13 ERA and been hit around like a piñata. While the Sox just won 2 out of 3 in LA against a lousy squad (coached by a dude needin' to pull his hat down a little & decide if he’s really going to finish his Hall of Fame career looking like he’s managing an old-timers game…aka Joe Torre), they only mustered 8 runs and still only score when Dye & Quentin are rolling. On the mound for the Cubbies, suddenly-Cy Young Ryan Dempster (9-2, 2.63) will look to hit double-digit victories for the first time since 2002. As for how the Cubbies will handle the DH, let’s just say our DH sucks and the Cubs have 3 guys on their bench I’d luv to have. And finally, while the Sox may be a lil jet-lagged & probably aren’t excited to come home to cigarettes in the sleeve groupies, the Cubs are only traveling across town & would luv to embarrass Ozzie and the Southsiders again. Yes, I'm a Sox fan...and I think we'll get our azz-kicked.
Cubs by 3 to 4 runs
As for which team has better female attire...