GREGGY G'S QUICK THOUGHTS ON THE NBA FINALS
1. The Lakers have more useless white-dudes than my buddies and me when they circled for house-dancing at Prom.
2. While every Chicagoan spews hatred for James Posey like he’s the brother of John Starks, if they knew anything about ball they’d want him assisting Vinny Del Scott Baio to toughen-up the bitch-azz Bullies.
3. Paulie Pierce and his oddly-shaped body shouldn’t be able to do the things he does…like matching-up with Kobe & dominating him like Jesse Spano dominated that cracker in the pool during Showgirls!
4. I really don’t think the Zenmaster cares anymore…Starting Vlad Radmanovic ova any other option on the bench is like casting a thespian ova a no-talent hottie in a summer blockbuster.
5. Forgot about Rajon Rondo’s 21 points…how bout 8 ass, 7 reb, 6 stls, & 1 turnover! With his combination of athleticism & Manute Bol-wingspan, he’s a nightmare for every PG for years to come.
6. Referee Joey Crawford’s decision to shave his head might be the worse decision since Dmitri Young decided to shave this masterpiece
7. In Pulp Fiction, is The Gimp supposed to be the lovechild of Sam Cassell and Pau Gasol?...and yes, that is Mrs. Gasol Homeboys!
8. And finally, I demand Eddie House at my next party and I want a chest-bump every time we slam a class of Sangria together!
To start, I absolutely luv Beasley’s comments to the media at the Bulls practice facility regarding the overreaction that his listed height in college didn’t match his combine measurements:
"It's a little disappointing to me to find out I'm actually a midget”
While 90% of NBA draft gurus are duped by GMs completely using them to report misinformation, as we get closer to draft day, I’m surprised to see more and more experts jumping on my Michael Beasley-bandwagon. With NBA 3-point range, a silky smooth mid-range game, an array of post-moves, a pair of mitts with magnets, and a rebounding prowess that cannot be coached, at just ova 6-8 with underrated athleticism the lefty will immediately dominate at either forward position. As for his height, remember what they said about Kobe Tai when she broke on the scene in 1994 - “She’s too tiny to handle the grind of this business”…and next thing you know it’s 2003 and I’m checking out the new release “Jenna Loves Kobe”
Speaking of Kobe, after predicting Mr. Bryant was too selfish and demeaning to his running-mates for a LakeShow victory, how nice was it see his azz blown-out last night and moping on the sideline…it was similar to the joy I found watching Roger Clemens squirm as he lied to Congress. Alrighty Homeboys, enough chit-chat and time to put the women & midgets to bed and go lookin for Caviar & Cristal
CHICAGO CUBS (-120) @ TAMPA BAY RAYS
If you want my breakdown and some flawless hotties, better click Continue Reading below…
While Rays hurler Andy Sonnanstine’s Win/Lose record is impressive (7-3), his pitching really hasn’t been (4.89). Especially of late, the 25 year-old with a career 5.48 ERA has struggled to make it past the 5th inning and seems to have lost his early season confidence (last 5 starts: 27 innings, 41 hits, 17 earned runs). And tonight, he faces the top hitting and OB% squad in the league (.282, .360) coming off a tough loss against one of the brightest starters in the league (Scott Kazmir). Given another day to get used to the goofy Tampa Dome, having Big Z on the mound, and the hype of being the ESPN game of the night, I’m shocked the line is only -120 for the Cubbies. While Zambrano (9-2, 2.98) hasn’t been as sharp of late, he’s due for dominating performance and should look even better against a line-up that’s rarely seen him. I could go on, but it’s time to mix-up a bloody and catch some ladybugs for the kids…
Cubs by 3-4 runs