Inside Plays

After watching two months of sappy montages & witnessing Farve cryin' for the 4th consecutive off-season, do everybody a favor...including the Pack, and put the Vicodin down & play some sudoku with your wife...

…unless the Packers are willing to trade you to the Bears. With the worst QB situation since the Broncos decided to split possessions w/ Tommy Maddox & Shawn Moore for part of '92, the Bears enter the season with a midget (Grossman) and a drunk (Orton) so why not…nevermind, just kidding. While I understand Brett’s itch like an NBAer after a summer of groupies in the hot-tub, let Aaron Rogers finally try to turn the page in Green Bay. The only reason to leave your 3million acres is if Rogers goes down with an injury…so, I guess we’ll see in Week 4 then.

While everybody looks better loungin’ in Warriors-yellow, don’t leave Baron all by his lonesome Elton.

I feel for you Mr. Brand…with Don Nelson & Chris Mullin acting like high schoolers that lost their girls & now are throwing their hard-earned Little Caesars money at slutty grunge chicks, stick with your gut and stay in Clipperland. I know it’s a ton of paper, but you’re not the right-fit alongside Stephen Jax, Monta Ellis, and an offensive that plays like Loyola Marymount w/ Earl Boykins at the point..

Nicky the Swish’s crazy antics shift from annoying to hilarious when he’s playing like this

Since the streaky, kinda bad, Konerko went down, the Sox have looked rejuvenated and finally have a defense to compliment the pitching. Especially Swish, who was forced to adapt to a new city while playing out-of-position in center, the move to first has relaxed the crazy-cat and resulted in some solid production at both sides of the plate (last 7 games: .318 avg, .444 ob%, 3 Hr, & 10 Rbi). Throw-in the opening in CF for a defensive wiz like Brian Anderson and the Sox are actually worth watching. I know I’ve been off the bandwagon and ripping my Southsiders all season, and I’m still not confident this will continue once Paulie returns, but just like a youngster who buys his girl a Kama Sutra book…I’m a flip-flopper baby and proud of it! BTW, is it me, or does the Tribe look like they forgot to take their Flintstone Vitamins this off-season?

While nobody is as fun to watch as the highflying Nate Dogg, is he really a PG?

Rumor has it the Knicks will be signing Chris Duhon, cutting Starbury, and letting Duh & Nate compete for the starting backcourt spot alongside shot-happy Jamal. While this sounds scary, from the looks of D'antoni's long-term deal, maybe getting a top-3 pick in next year's Draft is the best solution in Gotham.

If they Knicks want a top pick in next year, why not just let these two start in the backcourt...oh wait, same superfan.

and now...GREGGY'S MLB ATS PICK OF THE DAY

While the Sox are playing passionately of late, after sweepin' the Tribe I expect a letdown from their bats tonight

OAKLAND ATHLETICS @ CHICAGO WHITE SOX (UNDA 8.5)
Want to know why and a couple more hotties...

Before you go to the beach and pretend like you actually like to watch sand volleyball, see what T-Bone has to say about the MLB slate...

2008 MLB RECORD: 21-18

After rolling a pathetic 1-4 last weekend with my MLB picks (2 of them from the friggin' Chubbies during their broom pounding to the Bleach Sox), I received a motivational text message from my homey Greggy G that simply stated 'Ouch'. Yeah, it hurt, more than you know, but my belief is basic.....the one good thing about trends (remember my 1-4 pathetic trend), is that trends change, so in my book this weekend is going to be something special. Have a great 4th weekend, and if watching the Williams sisters doesn't give you thoughts about being the frosting in the middle of a Williams oreo cookie, then mix up a friggin' drink early, cuz your brain is obviously not working how it should be.

I've got 2 picks for ya, I don't know what in the hell she is tryin' to tell ya?!

Presenting......the new multiple use tennis racket!!! Maybe I need something like this to spark a winning streak.

2008 MLB RECORD: 21-20

I have officially become the Detroit Lions of the handicapper world. I started out the MLB season blazing while the rest of the world was just waking up, only to go 1 for my last 7 picks. So like any good sports team that is down and out, I am simply trying to get a bucket, score a field goal, etc before going into all star break. Oh yeah, I've got some pretty sweet pics for you as well.

I've got a home whiter for ya that is equally as good as she is...

While Ronny won't be in tomorrow's Free Agent Report, he's been screaming that he should be!

Check in tomorrow for Greg Gamble’s NBA Free Agent/Swimsuit Spectacular...as for today, how about a few baseball picks and friendly faces to tide you ova.

Greg Maddux reminds me of this antique door...while it's a classic, it's really starting to show it's age

FLORIDA MARLINS (+105) @ SAN DIEGO PADRES
The Marlins snapped a 3-game skid in Colorado Sunday and...

Greg Gamble’s NBA Free Agent Spectacular Feature…

The Bulls bringing Maggette back home makes too much sense for it to actually happen...kinda like selecting B-Eazy

COREY MAGGETTE - G/F 6-6 225 lbs 28 yrs-old
22 ppg 6 rpg 3 apg 46-fg% 38-3pt% 10 FTA/gm

Even more amazing than Wes Unseld’s former squad giving Agent Zero ova-18 M per year after a year-n-half of knee trouble is the unbelievably low market value of one Corey Maggette. While rumors have most upper echelon playoff squads offering their mid-level exception ($5.5 M to $6.0 M), I believe we’ll see the 76ers throw 7-8 million if they don’t land Josh Smith or Elton Brand…and possibly GST because their simply pissed-off at the Clippers. And in my opinion, replacing Willie Green w/ Corey in the East would provide the biggest playoff impact since Tim Donaghy was on the hardwood. Even though Bouncin’ Baron would look nice paired with Brand, in the loaded West the Clips are not even guaranteed a playoff spot.

The Bulls backcourt & wings don't have the backside to bang!

As for who I believe should be involved in the Blue Devil sweepstakes…you guessed it, none other than the CHICAGO BULLS! Now before you vomit at the thought of another G/F on the Bulls roster…just hear me out. GM Johnny Pax needs to stop over-valuing his own players and simply make the smartest basketball decision. With Ben Gordon looking to either sign with the Bulls or be included in a sign-n-trade for approximately $12 M, why not just let him walk, sign Maggette for $4-5 M less, and provide Derrick Rose with an athletic wing to pair with the mid-range prowess of Deng. Even though the Melrose Park protégé will be entering his 10th season, he’s still only 28 and had his best season as a pro last year. Especially on a Bulls team lacking a go-to scorer with an ability to get to the charity stripe, besides Dwight Howard & King James, nobody in the NBA averaged more FTA’s per game than Coach K’s one year wonder. Throw-in a low-post game that matches any SG/SF in the league and the Bulls would fill another void in their offensive repertoire.

I'd be laughing too if someone was gonna pay me an 8-figure a year salary when I can't play defense or dribble!

As for how this affects their current glut of guards/wings…who frickin’ cares! No matter how sweet Gordon’s stroke is, he can’t defend either guard position and doesn’t have the ball-handling to justify an 8-digit salary for a player unda 6-3. Especially with Rose still a couple years from making an impact defensively, how the hell could you ever pair these two on the court? As for the rest, even though Larry Hughes is more unmovable than Kristie Alley, paired with Deng, Maggette, & Sefolosha, the Bulls would actually have some long-athletic wings to run with Rose. As for the Hinrich & Nocioni, Noce’s contract & hard-nosed approach make him extremely valuable to teams looking to toughen-up, while Hinrich’s bloated deal makes him more of a specialist for a team looking for his specific skill set. Maybe letting Kirk ease Rose into the full-time PG position is the best option early-on, and with Hinrich’s front-loaded contract getting smaller each season, maybe moving him in January makes the most sense & brings back the most value.

Just like her, Corey's body would look perfect in Bullie-red

As a result, Vinny Del Baio and his chaperones (Dell Harris, Bickerstaff, etc.) have a young athletic line-up to make Rose’s transition easier, and now have a true scorer (not a glorified Vinny “The Microwave” Johnson) to make Deng’s mid-range game even more unstoppable. While I’ll never forgive John Paxson for passing on B-Eazy (I honestly believe he took Rose because he was the safer selection), if he finally stops acting like a Dad who thinks his kids are twice as good as they really are, I’ll stop playing the “Bulls Undersized Backcourt Drinking Game”…you know, every time a Bulls guard is posted-up you have to pound a Mickey’s Grenade!

With THAT, how about a some MLB ATS and some HOTTIES...

The crooked-hat wearin' sizable southpaw may be the answer in Beer City...but only for this year.

While the Brew Crew and Cubbies should both be commended for snagging the two hottest pitching commodities and making a full commitment to the post-season, only one team pulled a David Spade and out-kicked their coverage (i.e. Heather Locklear) to steal the acquisition. Sure CC Sabathia (107-71, 3.82) has a more consistent track-record and the experience to settle-in nicely behind Sheets, but the Brewers gave-up their top slugging prospect (Matt LaPorta - .288 20 Hrs at AA), two solid minor league pitchers, and a player to be named later (rumored to be just as impressive) for a half-year rental with a pro-rated 11 million dollar salary. While it’s ballsy and I love the all-or-nuttin’ attitude in Milwaukee…it’s a lot of prospects and money for CC to make-up for in only a short period of time.

While the Canadian-born Harden might not be as famous as this Canadian, at least he's much cheaper!

On the Cubs side, I was shocked Mr. Money Ball and his gigantic-ego allowed Rich Harden (36-19, 3.42) to leave so cheaply, while also willing to throw-in a spot-starter/long-reliever like Chad Gaudin (24-23, 4.33). Especially with the 26 year-old Harden signed through next season and making under $5M, in today’s MLB world, the Cubs grabbed a potential #1 or #2 playoff starter for frickin' peanuts. I know he’s found his way to the DL for long stints the last few years, but amazingly, it hasn't set him back skill wise ('08: 13 starts, 5-1, 2.34) and maybe the Wrigleyville atmosphere and DePaul hotties will keep him from developing a sore arm. And as insurance for the A’s version of Mark Prior, they grabbed Gaudin, a solid young righty with experience pitching in every situation who’s become an extremely dependent reliever this year (5-3, 3.59).

With all the CSI tapings stunting his development, Murton never seemed to be in the long-term plans of the Cubs

As for what GM Jim Hendry gave up, let’s just say 3 out 4 would only look good with Cubbie-beer goggles on. The Patterson Family of midget lefties needed to be exiled from the organization, Matt Murton is not much more than a career back-up/platoon OF, the minor league catcher (that can’t hit) doesn’t matter because of Geovany the Great, and while Gallagher was the bait and a skilled youngster…will he ever be much more than a 3rd or 4th starter? All I know is Cubdom better be happy Johnny Paxson wasn’t finalizing the deal, I’m guessing he would've overvalued all his talent and wound-up spinning his wheels like Derrick Rose flying down the highway.

Speaking of the NBA, I’ll have tons of chatter tomorrow, but here’s a quick thought on the most underrated FA no longer available:

While there's no chance of it now, BOOBIE Gibson would've been all smiles if Ferry snagged Pietrus

The 26 year-old Mickael Pietrus is a steal at the mid-level and gives Stan “Ronny Jeremy” Van Gundy an offensive & defensive upgrade over Keith Bogans & Maurice Evans. With that being said and at that price, why the hell didn’t GM Danny Ferry attempt to pair him with King James? Shiznit, Ferry once saw Larry “Yes, my agent is sweet” Hughes play one end of the floor and gave him almost 15 M per year. With Pietrus’s deep range, freakish athleticism, long-arms, and the ability & willingness to lockdown defensively (when not in foul trouble), the duo would've traumatize every undersized opponent, not to mention, Bron-Bron would finally have a running mate to better utilize his abilities in the open court. In addition, with their size and court coverage, they’d enable Boobie Gibson to play the point full-time without being destroyed on the perimeter…allowing the sharpshooter to spot-up and lead the league in the 3-pt accuracy next season.

With that, let's head to the MLB ATS & HOTTIE portion of our show...

The everlasting image of Baron's time in Golden St.

Before we roll to my almost flawless MLB ATS picks, how about a lil Clipperland Luv. While most assume Davis & Dunleavy are screwed w/ Elton bolting for easier frontcourt pastures out East, I contend the Clippers line-up (w/ the signing of a particular PF) will be back in the playoff mix by the 2009-10 season. Don’t buy-it…let’s take a closer look & see how Baron’s new squad compares with his old:

Just like Monta & Eric, Ms. Tequila is considered undersized, but her passion and flare are what make her special!

SG - Monta Ellis vs Eric Gordon/Q-Mobley
While only a handful of lightning-quick guards can roll with the undersized-Ellis, let alone slow his ridiculous mid-range game, an inability to spread the defense in Nellie’s system (which insinuating a 3-ball casting-party from the squad all season) and failing to successfully run the point forced Baron to play too many minutes…which might be why he looked more tired than a newbie at Vivid Entertainment Pool Party by year’s end. I know Ellis was a perfect speedster to utilize Baron’s open court passing skills, but besides having a slower gear, isn’t Eric Gordon kind of a Monta Mini-Me? Throw-in a veteran like Q-Mobley who always loves playing with a showboating PG (i.e. Stevie “no-longer” Franchise) and the SG match-up isn’t as much of a blow-out as you think.

Even if S-Jax is model citizen for another year, I still think Al Thornton may be the best fit for Baron

SF - Stephen Jackson vs Al Thornton
I know S-Jax is a legitimate, well-rounded, NBA-talent who’s been on his best behavior of late, but I honestly believe his fancy for the 3-pt line was not sound therapy for his trigger-happy floor-general. Not to mention, he’s probably overdue for some off-the-court mischief. As for Baron playing with the athletic-freak Al Thornton, I actually picture Kidd tossing to Vinsanity (without the showboating & ole-defense) and a player with much more discipline in the half-court. Also, Thornton’s a genuine good-guy that will gravitate towards a veteran presence like Davis and provide some highflying gems to keep Baron a regular on Sportscenter. Call me crazy if you like, but I think the Clippers easily have the better baller at SF…especially for the long-term.

With Alba spending more time at home and less at the arena, will Biedrins still be playing as hard?

C - Andris Biedrins vs Chris Kaman
As a diehard Warriors (and Alba) fan, I can verify the 7-foot jumping jack Biedrins received only 6 passes, not counting alley-oops, from Baron over the last two seasons. While he’s a productive energy guy perfect for GST’s system, Kaman is one of the more skilled 7-footers in the league (athleticism not included) and if he progresses half as much as he did last year Davis will have plenty of confidence passing him the pill. Honestly, while everybody thinks Nellie’s run-n-chuck style was perfect for Baron, with his dominate backside able to back-down virtually every guard at will, I think a half-court set and a big (Kaman) with a soft-touch could make him look even sweeter…especially with that kick-azz beard.

J-Smith opposite Al Thornton is exactly what Davis needs!

PF - Al Harrington vs Josh Smith
Obviously I have no idea if Hot-Lanta would match, but shredding salary and offering every penny in the bank to Josh Smith immediately turns Clipperland into a highflying circus. To tell you the truth, this might even be a better fit for Baron than if Brand stuck around. Can you imagine Bouncin’ Baron maneuvering through the lane and seeing J-Smith & Thorton slashing-in from either wing? It’s like Fukudome to Wrigley or Jesse Spano in Showgirls-perfect. While everybody says the Hawks will match, most of that talk was if teams were offering around 10-12 million. If they creep closer to the 15-million dollar range, with all the youngsters needing paper in the next few years (Marvin Williams, Al Horford, etc.), could ATL afford to cripple themselves to match? For sake of my beautiful, well thought-out breakdown, I say no-way…And as a result (drum-roll please) Clipperland becomes prettier than Ali Larter in a whip-cream bikini!

With that, let's head to my ATS pick and Hotties of the day...

Seriously, was there a full moon earlier this week...

What a coincidence...Matt Jones is reaching for a white line!

Not to mention, they also found a pipe w/ some residue

I guess after the former 1st rounder only caught 24 balls last year, he decided to try a new off-season regiment called...PUFF, PUFF, SNORT!

And talk about going from the lil Golden Boy in Florida to...

...gettin' dismissed for gambling on games in 2001, & now...

...Teddy Toupee has been charged w/ beating & raping an ex-girlfriend.

While he told investigators "he got a little rough", this wasn't a Marv Albert-type luv bite on the neck, the poor girl had fractured ribs, a swollen eye, bruises up-n-down, and dried blood on her lips. All I can say is I hope Big Brown, and I'm not talking about the horse, treats you the same way once you hit the clink!

Before I get to the last depressing headline, l needed to remind myself what true luv is all about...ok, got it!

And for our final scum-bag, former K Tony Zendejas alleged drugged and raped a patron from his sports bar. And from all the details of the things he did...I'm guessing there may be a few more ladies stepping forward in the next few days.

Just a word of advice ladies...please watch your drinkin', especially around "has-been" athletes

Enough garbage, time for some MLB ATS & Hotties (5-2 this week)...

I'd like to know who had the nerve to dig the old Pedro from the grave...

I am absolutely beside myself after watching the Mets one hit the Rockies yesterday. I don't know how Pedro Martinez and one hit can be included in the same sentence anymore, but it was. I know he only went 4 innings and left with a groin injury, but the fact that he only allowed a hit in those innings is still a mystery. Anyway, I'm not bitter.

I can see a few more wrinkles on his face, he must have switched to the generic wrinkle cream after deciding to shell out 1.5M to the Mountaineers...

A couple college football lines caught my eye today, and both of them relate to the mighty University of Michigan Wolverines. First off, I would like to be a fly on the wall with the whole buyout dispute that is still going on between Rodriquez and West Virginia. Although the 4 million clause is a bit excessive in my mind, and West Virginia has looked like cry-babies through most of it, I have some respect for the fact that they stuck to their guns and demanded the money. There isn't many that actually make an effort to get it, and it shows a good step toward keeping coaches committed to their contract and not jumping all over the place at the best opportunity. So Rodriquez is going to pay half, and Michigan is going to pay half to get the issue resolved before it starts to affect their season. Lots of money, even more bad blood, but a great step at slowing down the coaching turnstiles that have been created at many universities.

Just cause I was driving an 07 Denali and super wasted doesn't mean I should get in trouble right? C'mon, don't you know I'm a 20 year old with speed....

Secondly, running back Kevin Grady for the Wolverines just got nabbed on July 2 for a DUI. Reports say he was 3 times over the legal limit. The funny thing is that he just plead 'not guilty' and now it goes to a jury selection. Let me be very clear when I say this....the young adults of today have already grown up in a world where they have received ribbons & medals just for participating in something, they can do no wrong, their parents treat them like gold, and their is no accountability for their actions. I am stereo-typing here, but the majority of young adults feel as if they can do whatever they please because there will be no reprocussions for their actions. And this is even worse when they become scholarship college athletes and get pampered with freebies, ladies, and the answers to tests. It is this mentality that leads to someone getting pulled over at 3 times the legal limit and having the thought actually cross their mind to give a not-guilty plea. Are you friggin' kidding me!! I would also bet money that his coaches and parents helped him develop this plea as well. Sometimes I want to vomit on Sunday mornings, but this has been the first time in a while it has been for non-alcohol related reasons.

All arrows point towards heaven.....

On to MLB where I continued to find a way to not pull out of my slump yesterday, maybe if I plead not guilty I can just think to myself that it didn't happen.....

Odds are they're either talking about the Home Run Derby...or how to get rid of back-acne!

Hopefully she'll be one of ball-chasers in the OF 2night!

With nuttin’ but the Derby on the docket tonight, maybe I’ll take a day off from investing my hard-earned dollars on a carnival wager…just kidding, that would be like Charlie Sheen deciding to stay faithful instead of hanging-out with strippers, hookers, & nose-candy! With that, let’s handicap this little slug-fest:

Lucky for Matt, his Dad has informed us of his innocence

Before breaking down the MLB All-Star Game, I need to issue a heartfelt apology to Jaguars WR Matt Jones for my crass comments regarding his arrest after cops found nose-candy and the whacky-weed in a car he was in. On Monday, Matt Jones father cleared his son’s name with the following comments:

“We want to make it clear that Matt was not in possession of any drugs, but that there were drugs in the vehicle and were located in the closest proximity to Matt. He does not claim any responsibility for the drugs.”

I feel worse than I did after months of bashing OJ and finding out he really didn’t do it. I can't believe I just assumed the 6-6 former Arkansas QB was part of this drug party. Even though they were in a parked car with a credit card dicing the shiznit up like Julia Child, it turns out the young Jones was merely an innocent bystander.

Similar to Jones, my buddy was busted by his girl w/ a street-walker in his bed...and it turned out she was just tired

About a year ago, my Homeboy Davey was falsely accused of sleeping with a hooker by his girlfriend. The poor guy even acknowledged the hooker was naked, in close proximity to him, and he was aware he was holding a horse-whip and a Ramen seasoning packet...but for some reason she didn't believe his statement: “I understand what this looks like, but I cannot claim any responsibility for this hooker!” Maybe after reading about Mr. Jones, Davey’s lovely lady might come running back!

You boys ready to sit back & enjoy my All-Star breakdown?

As I rolled off my Kola Bear skin-sofa and made my way to the Bloody Mary Station this morning, a strange sensation resonated through my body and I immediately knew something was wrong. After quickly mixing some Milk Thistle into my Bloody, I bolted for the driveway like John Daly for the Clubhouse Bar after 18 and scooped-up my daily periodical. I ripped it open to the back of the sports section and I swear my heart skipped a beat…and I hadn’t even touched anything from Matt Jones’s stash. To my dismay, the only ATS information available was for a couple thoroughbreds, the WNBA, and some football…and unfortunately, not the right football.

I was devastated and cried like Brett Favre at a press-conference to announce he doesn’t want to stay home and help-out around house. I quickly gathered myself as I heard my gardeners laughing as they trimmed my Grass Tennis court and headed to Gym…to awkwardly stare at chicks on the treadmill while pretending to stretch for a run as I figured out what to do with this void in my life.

When I need to clear my head, I roll to the sauna

While sweating out my sins like Travis Henry in the sauna, I realized some of my diehard-degenerate fans may be strugglin' like me and decided to give them something to mull over in an otherwise worthless day. (Oh yeah, did you guys see that RB Kevin Jones signed with the Bears…you probably weren’t surprised since I told you they would three weeks ago.) With that, here are five thoughts to help make it through the day:

GREG GAMBLE'S FIVE THOUGHTS OF THE DAY

Hey dork...lie much today?

1. Receipts exist for HGH Shipments to Clemens’s house
I cannot wait for the The Roided Rocked to through his wife under the bus again and claim the HGH was for her SI Photo shoot. The best news regarding the Clemens-saga has been the reports he’s lost millions to legal fees and lost endorsements, not to mention the ego-driven turd’s reputation makes Barry Bonds look like Denzel. While the actually use of HGH is not a huge issue for me, the lies and strong-armed approach by a guy who thinks he’s above everyone & everything is what makes my alcohol-laced blood bowl. Have fun in the slammer BEEATCH!

Before we hit-up my MLB ATS pick of the day, let's quickly look at some recent moves made on the professional hardwood.

While White Chocolate hasn't found a new address yet, Mr. Camby & Mr. Posey have backed their bags!

GREGGY G’S NBA TRANSACTION REPORT

While a long & skinny frame is important for a beauty contest, it's not always a great fit in the Association

Marcus Camby to the Clippers for a 2nd Round Pick
As NBA trades go, rarely do see one that helps neither team. While Camby’s defensive numbers are somewhat bloated (13.1 rpg, 3.61 bpg) as his running mates give a ratz-azz about rebounding and allowed non-stop penetration for potential swats from the UMASS star, for that reason alone he was a perfect in Denver. Unfortunately, since former GM Kooko Vandeweghe pulled an Isiah Thomas and signed Nene for 6 years and 60 Million in 2006 & traded for Kenyon Martin’s 16 M/year salary till 2010/11, the only frontcourt player they could move was the most reasonable and productive of the three (8 M/year till 2009-10). Rumors have circulated the move was made to allow the Nuggets to re-sign J.R. Smith, which makes perfect sense since the offensive-minded, no-defense playing malcontent can develop under perfect role-models in A.I & Carmelo. Nuggets Grade: F

Paired with the supermodel from Grand Rapids, LA's doesn't have the athleticism to match Baron's game.

As for how Clipperland faired in the deal, while I think Camby is an excellent fit alongside an athletic four, pairing him with Kaveman Kaman makes absolutely no sense. Neither player is a high-flying athlete to utilize Baron Davis’s open-court magic and immediately gives LA the slowest frontcourt in the league. Unless GM Elgin Baylor plans to trade Camby and his extremely reasonable contract in the near future, the move seems like a desperate attempt to save face with fans by using some of the money they had set aside for Brand. While everyone says ATL would have matched any contract for Josh Smith, with the Hawks front-office in disarray and the probability LA could have pulled-off the Camby trade later this month, there’s no reason the Clippers didn’t at least tried to pry Smith away from Hot-Lanta before making the deal.

BTW, Can you image Bouncin' Baron Davis running the break with the high-flying Smith and freakish athleticism of Al Thornton…it would have been Greggy G sandwiched between the Olly Girls-perfect.
Overall Grade: D

While many experts think the Hornets lost their shirt (or bikini top) in the deal, trust me...they're wrong!

James Posey signs 4-year, 25 M with the Hornets
While I agree the Posey market was overvalued because of a few remarkable playoff games, I was amazed at the overwhelming ridicule by so-called NBA gurus on the move. Sure he was overpaid, but considering he's a prefect fit in New Orleans...it seems like a no-brainer to me. The Hardwood Gurus also overanalyzed what position Posey will play and how he stunts Julian Wright’s development. In my both cases, they’re wrong.

It's not a coincidence Posey's done this twice!

With a ridiculous playmaker at the point and a dominant 1 to 2 punch in the frontcourt with West & Chandler, the Hornets desperately needed to pair a wing defender with the sharp-shooting Stojakovic. At 6-8, the 31-year old Posey combines his crafty veteran knowledge with nice length and underrated athleticism to play solid D both on and off the ball, which also will be invaluable in the growth of the young Wright. In addition, with Peja’s body starting to breakdown, the Hornets were desperate for another veteran wing. Throw-in his solid range from deep (38 3pt% last year) and unmatched playoff experience, and Byron Scott has a more consistent player than last year’s starter Morris Peterson.

And intimidating look can rattle the opponent

And finally, and probably most importantly, Posey provides an accountability and toughness to protect CP3 that surely will rub-off on the young Hornets. While most dwell on the final years of the contract, with the Hornets considered one of the top teams in the West, I’m sure ownership won’t mind paying the final years of the deal if he helps bring a title to the Big Easy. Overall Grade: B+

With that, time 2 check-out the ATS diamond & more bikinis!

I remembered this week how much I like baseball, well, I like anything with spherical apparatus......

Well, I've officially grown weary of talking about Favre after just one week and the damn season hasn't even got underway. I did realize one thing this week that got me excited though. I can honestly say that I found myself twiddling my thumbs and increasing my Pai Gow play during the 3 day mid season break that the baseball bigs took early in the week. I am glad to see all teams back on the field and now is the time when the managers start to get a little more systematic, and we all find out who really has the talent to carry themselves through 162 games.

Whoa, hold on a second, you're trying to tell me the Mets are here to stay, not so fast....

Lets start with the Mets, they finally found out how to lose after taking 10 straight. While I have to give them props for getting this done, the true test lies ahead. The emotional high is gone, and after winning all those friggin' games they are still one game back of the Phillies. I can honestly see a slide in the opposite direction, especially since Philly has only been playing .500 ball recently. Look for Philly to pull back up by 5 games within a couple weeks.

And how about CC Sabathia. I never knew that moving from Lake Erie to Lake Michigan gave anyone the ability to throw 9 consecutive innings(twice none-the-less) and start winning ball games. I've gotta believe that this trend is going to continue. CC has what it takes to get the job done, and he is finally on a team that is contending for a title. This change of scenery was perfect timing and will be a perfect match as the Brewers either grab a wild card spot or even steal the title from my Cubbies late in the year.

On to the important stuff, where words like Sharky and Benjamins are used in the same sentence......

These ladies know all about Sunday Funday with Teasin' T-Bone!

Let me just start by saying that if you don't already celebrate Sunday Funday as part of your weekend campaign, today is the day to start. What a better sports situation to be in then to wake up at 7am and be able to turn on live sports. You know I'm talkin' about the British Open fellas, and of all things, a guy that goes by 'The Shark' (aka Sharky in my gambling mind) is leading the whole damn thing. As if I didn't need another friggin' reason to start the day off with Mimosas and a scoobie snack. And if you're not a golf guy, who cares, become one quick cause it'll be the only remotely legitimate reason that you can tell your old lady why you are drinking before noon.

I simply know things that others don't.......the outcome of games, how many licks it takes to get the the center of a tootsie pop, and that her name is Rachel.....

Switching over to where the lettuce will rest today, just click below to see what MLB teams will join in the Sunday Funday festivities with you.....

Looks like Lou's even reading Greggy G's insight!

WINDY CITY WAGERING TRENDS FOR THE 2ND HALF
By: Greg Gamble and www.covers.com

Following the Wrigleyville chaos and the surprise on the Southside as a fan, scribe, and investor, what a way to roll through the few summer days in Chi-Town. On the Northside, I knew things were askew early when the lazy corner infielder, Aramis Ramirez, arrived to Spring training like Alyssa Milano arrived to the Poison Ivy 2 set - trim and committed to show us some newfound passion. As for the Camaro, smokes-in-the-sleeves Sox, even Ozzie is shocked he’s only needed one profanity-laced tirade to keep things sailing smoothly.

All she's missing are some sleeves to role up her cigs

Even though both the White Sox and Cubs each lead MLB’s Central Divisions, just ask Ronny Mexico how quickly things can change. Will the Cubs continue to dominate at home and will giving-up 1 1/2 runs still seem like a gift? Can the Sox unassuming staff continue to baffle the opposition if Jim Thome and Paul Konerko continue to strike out more than Paul Pfeiffer? And will the Wrigley girls continue to wear short-shorts that would be illegal in most states?

While I know some of the answers, I also hit-up some of the media giants in the Windy City for some additional knowledge. With that, here are some thoughts (aka ATS predicted trends) to give your mind and wallet some fodder: http://www.covers.com/articles/articles.aspx?theArt=162594&t=0

With that, let's take a look at today's MLB ATS & Hotties...

MLB ATS 4:00 PM UPDATED VERSION

Just like my favorite Lasorda moment, I need to get back on my ATS feet after the Cubs failed 2 score 4 me yesterday.

But I'm not depressed about it. Just like Mark McGoop, I only look forward...and sometimes to my left and down!

But before we hit-up my picks, while I'm not a fan of Urlacher's mumbling-cocky attitude off the field, it was nice to see the Bears & him agree on reasonable renegotiation.

Because after all his crazy antics...

When healthy, he's a lot of fun to follow on Sundays...and that's important in a year when we're gonna suck!

With that, time for Greg Gamble's ATS Diamond Luv!

You know what time it is Homeboys...time for a lil Sweet & Salty Lou acting display to rile-up the troops!

Or, just like my Southsiders, the Cubbies should throw some Northsider colors on a blow-up doll to simply relax the clubhouse...wait, is that a blow-up doll?

As for the streaky & sweaty Jason Marquis, the Cubs should've released him and signed cast-off Sidney Ponson a month ago (signed by NYY). At least when he's inconsistent the fans can still enjoy his crazy-azz on the town!

As for the Gridiron, while everybody thinks the Jason Taylor trade was huge for DC, unless Clinton's silly-azz can improve on a 3.9 average and the most fumbles of his career, Matt Jones has a better chance of working for the DEA than the Skins have of making the playoffs

The best aspect of the Taylor trade is if his Dancing w/ the 'Hot-Azz Partner'-Star actually shows-up in the Hogs section

And finally, congrats to Josh Childress for signing the biggest deal in EuroLeague History. Looks like that Stanford education is the real-deal as the dollar is much stronger across the pond, not to mention, Josh has the option to opt-out after every year of the deal!

And I'm bettin' those hypnotic Greek girls will luv his silly fro

With that, time for my ATS Pick and some Hotties!

GREG GAMBLE'S TOP 5 THOUGHTS OF THE DAY

5. Brett Favre to Tampa rumors swirling

Before you call me Alonzo Spellman-crazy, hear me out. Even through all the coaching changes, Favre has basically run the same offense every year. And while I'm not saying he's Forrest Gump-slow, I think people underestimate how hard the transition will be for the Wrangler Jeans-wearing hero...and I actually believe Garcia's the better choice.

Speaking of the QB rumored to willingly jump azz-first towards an endzone pylon, considering he married Carmella, I should have started a rumor about my azz on all fours when I was in High School!

Hester's in the Driver’s Seat and not Pumping Gas!

I was floored by the backlash from the Chicago scribs on Hester’s decision to skip training camp awaiting a new contract. Considering our offense has the worst cast of skill position players since the adult-feature “Grumpier & Hornier Old Men”, the Bears have no choice but...

to throw the kitchen sink at the most exciting player on the gridiron. While the Bears don’t want to pay him like a top flight WR, rather a top-tier returner, GM Jerry Angelo dug his own grave in the situation as Lovie’s top two WRs are Brandon “Gator Arms” Lloyd & Marty “I was good in 1973” Booker. Throw-in two QBs that would struggle to find a starting gig if the XFL started back up and a backfield made-up of a rookie from Tulane, a former Lion off major knee surgery, a Wolfe that’s smaller than Wolf, & the wrong Adrian Peterson, and every Bear fan knows Devin has to be on the field as much as possible…even if just as a decoy.

The Bears better get on all fours and beg Hester to sign!

On top of that, we just witnessed Angelo back-up the Brinks truck for a LB already making 12 times Hester’s salary coming-off an average year and back problems, as well as, extensions for DE Alex Brown and our frickin’ kicker! And I have to read that he needs to be in Bearbonnais, risking injury, so he can pick-up the playbook. Yeah, what a dumb decision by the former Hurricane to skip training camp…he has absolutely no leverage in the situation!

GREG GAMBLE'S TOP THREE PLAYS OF THE DAY
* with a gratuitous photo to match each ATS play!

ARIZONA D-BACKS (-135) @ SAN FRAN GIANTS
The Giants are awful and looking to trade anybody over the age of 25, and tonight...

There is no sport other than college football that brings out fans like these....

College Football got a couple days closer to kick off this week and we are now nearing 30 days until the season begins. With the Big Ten media day taking place in Chicago, we all got a feel for where the coaches heads are at on the upcoming season. I was reminded of a few things from last year.......

Sorry Illini fans, but is that Zook scratching his head again?

Ron Zook needs lessons on how to communicate and deliver a message without stumbling through a sentence. When a coach is referencing a one-and-done season coming off the Orange Crush's 07 campaign, you can't tell me that he's not severely concerned of that exact thing happening. Good job Ron, most coaches focus on the future, you keep living in the success of last year and tell me how that works out for you. Are you the same Ron Zook that drove the Gators into the ground a few years back?

I smell a dynasty in the making!

It is no surprise, but watch out for the Buckeyes again. Tressel simply knows how to get the job done, and his business-like approach is unmatched. Currently, the Buckeye program is several layers ahead of most ball clubs in the land, and with Beanie Wells back they will walk away with another Big Ten title by knocking heads in the trenches. Coach Tressel, you're all spades in my book buddy.

Maybe Ferentz shouldn't have gotten his recruiting techniques from a movie....

Lastly, I was severely disappointed in Kirk Ferentz and his banter. It appears that the Hawkeyes are now keeping stats on how much off the field arrests take place each year and how that is a direct correlation with the amount of wins in the following year. This isn't an exact quote, but Ferentz actually said something like this....'back in 01 we had a horrible year off the field, but in 02 we had our best season in my coaching tenure. We have had a lot of off the field issues again in 07, and we can't tell the future, but we hope similar things happen on the field.' So is the magic formula in football today something like this....hey guys, go drink as many beers as you can, do all sorts of drugs, accept money, use credit cards that aren't your own, and most importantly rape and pillage all these college hotties, cause the more of that we do, the more wins we will have next year. I would love to see the stat on number of players kicked off the team to number of wins, I'm thinking about 5:1. Kirk, I luv ya like a fat kid luvs candy, but sometimes ya gotta get back to the basics.

And while we wait for that first pigskin to fly, here's some MLB action to keep the competitive juices flowin'....

And on this Sunday.....

The Pacman is still in street clothes trying to figure out why the NFL doesn't think he is God.

The KC Sunshine Band found a way to beef up their traditional dominate defense....can he play QB?

And the Cubs have figured out a way to blow their wad before they even get the chicks bra off...

I tell ya what fellas, I normally don't admit many of my faults, cause that's not very good for a handicappers mind, but my Saturday performances as of late have been about as strong as a 17 year old in the back of a car. The good thing for you(and my kitchen cupboards), are that Sunday has been stellar. So today, I post my blame on baseball in general....for putting the middle game of a series on a Saturday, because swing games aren't my best friend right now. Then in the next breath I will give baseball all the praise in the world....for putting the last game of a series on Sunday, because what better way to celebrate Sunday Funday than with a bunch of cabbage bulging your pockets. All I need now, as my good friend Dr. Killmer used to say, is a month full of Sundays. Click below for my love and good luck today fellas!

2night's pitching match-up of crusty vets Paul Byrd & Kenny Rogers can be compared to who's better at nailing a Cougar

While the youngsters see as Cougar as she is...

...the experienced pros treat a Cougar like a supermodel to make the venture well worth their while!

DETROIT TIGERS (-105) @ CLEVELAND INDIANS
My feelings on crafty veterans like Kenny Rogers & Paul Byrd are similar to those of slutty Cougars at the local watering-hole. The young bucks usually are caught-off-guard by the dried-up vets and end-up trying to act too cool when positioning themselves for a quickie (Diamond definition- inexperienced youngsters try to crush each soft-tossing pitch). As for the guys 30 and over, the play it smooth and treat the washed-up cougs like super-models, and as a result are able to do things usually only seen in the movies filmed in Van Nuys, California (Diamond definition- the vets are able to pick-n-choose their favorite pitches and place it where they want). As a result, I expect the veteran Tiger hitters to have much more success against Byrd (4-10, 5.28) than the suddenly youthful Tribe against the crabby Rogers (8-6, 4.48). Especially with...

While most in Wrigleyville believe Harden's success will determine a postseason spot, unless he's able to stretch out his outings I actually believe Sean Marshall's performance in relief will be what determines Cub success

GREGGY G’S DIAMOND THOUGHT

If she was on a trampoline, it would remind me of Rich Harden's show on the mound

While Rich Harden’s pitching style is more fun to watch than plastic jugs on a trampoline, considering he’s on a limited pitch-count, strikeouts should be the last thing on his mind. Too often we see Harden work deep into counts before a nasty pitch spins the opponent into the ground, resulting in Sweet & Salty Lou looking to the bullpen by the 6th inning. No matter how dominate his numbers look, if every time he toes the rubber we need at least 4 innings of relief he’s not much more than an average pitcher in my adult book. Considering Lou treats Jason Marquis like a red-headed step-child, hopefully he can ruffle some feathers of Mr. Harden as well.

GREGGY G'S TENNIS THOUGHT

I don't care what you say...she'll always be #1 in my Tennis rankings!

GREGGY G’S GRIDIRON THOUGHT

Could you image how solid Vernon would look w/ a real QB?

I know it’s more likely T.T. Boy heads for a life a celibacy, but how perfect would Brett Favre’s crying-azz look in San Fran? As I’ve mentioned, while I believe Forrest Favre would struggle more than most people think trying to learn a new system, playing for pass-happy O-Coordinator Mike Martz, alongside potentially the most lethal TE in the league (Trust me, Alex Smith is the sole reason Vernon Davis not a top-4 TE), a Pro Bowl caliber RB in Frank Gore, and a vastly improved & veteran WR-core (Issac Bruce, Ashley Lelie, Bryant Johnson, & Arnaz Battle), is that exactly what his Wrangler-wearing-azz needs. I know Thompson & McCarthy aren’t interested in trading him to team they’ll be playing this year, but the game is in San Fran in Week 2…how dominate could he possibly look by then?

GREGGY G'S ICE GIRL THOUGHT

I concur...Ice Girls are very important to the integrity of the game

GREGGY G'S DENG & GORDON THOUGHT

While some like 'em short...

...I prefer them a little longer!

Did GM Johnny “make the safe pick” Pax not see how off-season contract distractions stuck in Deng & Gordon’s noggins all last season? For all the talk the Bulls can low-ball Deng because nobody has any money to offer is really not true since Luol can simply take the 1-year tender and become an unrestricted FA next year (rumors are Portland desperately wants him, and I believe he’d be a better fit there than Gisele with Victoria’s Secret). So frickin’ lock him up Pax! Especially after a somewhat sub-par season and some nagging injuries, even paying him market-value is good deal in my eyes for a 23 year-old with great fundamentals and an always improving repertoire.

Just like her foot, I believe there's only 1-star to sign!

As for the no-D, no-handle undersized Ben Gordon, I’d rather see a sign-n-trade than a 1-year tender with our backcourt already overstocked. Nobody made a worse decision, except maybe GM Johnny for offering, than the former Husky guard did turning down last summer’s offer of 5 years and more than 50 M. Maybe Gordon’s overvalued self-opinion is why a sign-n-trade hasn’t worked out yet, but regardless, I better not see anything close to what they threw at him last year. Considering the Cavs Boobie Gibson, whose value is similar to Gordon’s in my blood-shoot eyes, signed a 5 year deal for between 4-5 M per…the Bulls better not do anything stupid!

When this guy (Christian Guzman) & Ronny Belliard are your offensive stars...that's usually not a good thing!

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES (-150) @ WASHINGTON NATS
Do you know who leads the Nationals in HRs? Lil Ronnie “MFin” Belliard with 9 as he hits .227 in the process. Do you know who leads them in RBIs? Of course you don’t, it’s Jesus “Who in the flying-cowcatcher is that” Flores with a measly 42. Seriously, the D.C. line-up is Courtney Love on the beach hideous and it’s no surprise they’ve lost 6-straight and have the worst record in the Majors. Tonight...

I'm guessing the Charter Bus ride to MILW will be just as fun as the game!

As for what to play, let's just say it's like the women...

I like'em spicy...take the Chorizo!

Griffey Jr. to Chi-town? O.K...but nuttin' special
Poles on a Charter Bus...MFin Special

Time for another nap