Preseason Pigskin reminds me of ALI LARTER'S SCENE in the epic thriller Varisty Blues...back-up QBs hold all the power!
After kicking out the suburban-hoodrats who drained my liquor cabinet Saturday Night, I quickly grabbed my stashed bottle of Dr. Mcgillicutty's Vanilla from the fridge and sprinkled some caviar on my nachos before strapping-it-down to watch the Tivo’d Bears game in its entirety. Rarely have I been more than a casual watcher of Preseason action, but with the starting QB spot being decided on the night’s performance, I actually was excited to pass on a trip to the local watering-hole to check out every snap of the Sexy Mini Rexy & Krazy Kyle-duel.
To start, for all the talk the Bears have no QB, no WRs, and unproven RBs, by far their worst position on the field is the O-Line…especially the left side. I don’t car if Joe Montana, Tom Brady or Cleo Lemon were under center, you can’t find a bad WRer if you spent every second running from big-angry-black men. By the start of the 2nd quarter I was at Bodog droppin' another few bills on Lovie’s win total for the season. BEARS WINS 8…are you frickin’ kidding me! I know they rolled to the Super Bowl just a few years ago behind an awesome defense & ridiculous special teams, but the D is nowhere close to the dominating 06-07 squad, & Grossman had at least had a few seconds that year before he dropped the ball or was picked-off in the flat.
As for Devin Hester at WR, while he looked better than I thought, no chance he stays healthy throwing his body around like ASIA CARRERA in Whoriental Sex Acadamy 7 on running plays, not to mention, the safties will be licking their chops when he crosses the middle.
As for a bright-spot, I have no idea how 6-7 Michigan State TE Kellen Davis lasted until the 5th round. While he’s not the best blocker, he catches everything in sight and has decent mobility for someone his size. Paired with Greg Olsen and Desmond Clark (if his knee is ok), I’m guessing Offensive Coordinator Ron Turner will be instructing his bad QBs to ignore the garbage slowly running on the outside.
CLEVELAND BROWNS (+3) @ NEW YORK GIANTS
In my humble, but correct opinion, preseason ATS can be
CLEVELAND BROWNS (+3) @ NEW YORK GIANTS
In my humble, but correct opinion, preseason ATS can be summed-up by how much work the starting QB needs and what his back-ups look like. With Derek Anderson still trying to prove last year’s success wasn’t a fluke, back-up Brady Quinn looking extremely sharp in Game 1, and the genius mind of Ken Dorsey looking to lead the 3rd team, I fully expect the Browns to hammer the defending champs. As for the Giants and Eli’s replacement after the 1st quarter, let’s just say I’m not a huge fan Anthony Wright, think David Carr is full-out bust, and believe rookie Andre Woodson still needs plenty of seasoning. Especially with the Browns riled-up for a breakout season and the Giants spending most of training camp talking about last year, look for Cleveland to look much sharper on the Monday Night Spectacular!
BROWNS 27 GIANTS 16
OAKLAND ATHLETICS @ MINNESOTA TWINS (-140)
Even though A’s starter Justin Duchscherer (10-8, 2.59) has been remarkable this season, the 30 year-old was a bullpen specialist the last few years and is starting to show signs of wearing down. Having crossed the 100 pitch total for the 5th straight time last Wednesday, there’s a reason he has a 6.17 ERA over his last 4 starts. As for his teammates, after getting worked over by the White Sox the last two days, I’m guessing the fire-sale fellaz left have no desire to travel to play in the Metrodome baggie. Considering they also are the worst hitting team in the AL by almost 15 points (.243), I’m guessing the Twins top starter at home Nick Blackburn (6-2, 2.90) will be working fast and letting the power-less A’s put it in play. On the flipside, the Twins have been playing at home since Monday and looked extremely comfortable at the plate this weekend sweeping the Mariners (3 game series: 27 runs & 42 hits)…Twins roll easily