GREG GAMBLE’S “I TOLD YOU SO” SPECIAL REPORT
It is absolute blasphemy Kenny Williams grabbed another softball slugging old-guy when the Sox are more desperate than Tara Reid for a starting pitcher (FYI Tara, lipo on the stomach before the age of 40 makes you look 40!). After analyzing the staff, how could he possibly think they would continue their 1st half dominance?
1. Supposed Ace Mark Buehrle - last 3 years: 30-32 4.25
2. Supposed #2 Javier Vazquez - last 5 years: 59-54 4.49
3. Crusty Veteran Jose Contreras – last 2 years: 17-23 5.20
4. John Danks 2nd full season – last 4 starts: 6.84 ERA
5. Gavin Floyd – Never pitched more than 70 innings in a season
Throw-in the fact he knew the Twinkies were adding Francisco Liriano to an already dominate staff, and its embarrassing Kenny Williams infatuation w/ Griffey Jr. wearing black-n-white prevented the Camaro-driving Southsiders from another potential playoff run.
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First-off, thank the lord for Ben Stiller’s pronunciation of Favre’s name in Something About Mary. As you’ve witnessed w/ my drunk-azz trying to spell at 11:30 p.m., simply mouthing the Stiller phrase has desperately aided in my journalist abilities…hopefully Mark Buehrle’s in his next movie. As for the pain-killer loving’s return to Green Bay, mark my words…if they don’t trade him early, this distraction will lead to a divided locker room and mediocre season. As for the brightside, at least Favre's wife gets hotter w/ age!
After a horrific playoff performance, where he also idiotically told a reporter he smokes the whacky-weed in the off-season and disobeyed a coach by not canceling a birthday party after a Game 4 defeat, I’m guessing Mr. Cuban wasn’t too happen to hear Howard was arrested for Street Racing. That being said, my guess is Josh does everything in his power to become the dedicated baller that made him a household name after an out-of-nowhere ascension in the NBA ranks. Unfortunetly, since the Mavs made a worse decision than a college star who decides to get married before turning pro by trading for J-Kidd, Dirk and the boys are Aurora Snow in Ass Bandits 2 screwed!
I'm sure the heavy scrutiny may persuade the Mavs to trade the 28 year-old swingman, but if they don’t, they’ll be happier than a rich white-dude in Thailand as I guarantee he raises his game this year (07-08: 20 ppg, 7 rpg, 45-fg%)…and then they should trade him!
I was up late last night and caught a few episodes of the “My fingers won't let me change the channel cause this is such a train-wreck”-show about the Coreys. Maybe it’s because it makes my degenerate-azz feel like Father Teresa, but whatever the reason, watching those two interact in a somewhat real world environment is one of funniest things I’ve ever seen. First off, Haim looks like he’s 55 and has the facial twitches and expressions of an angrier Bobby Brown. As for Feldman, the episode I saw had his wife being courted by Hugh Hefner for a photo-spread. And while waiting for her interview the Lost Boys-flameout sat poolside with Playboy Bunnies and talked about the meaning of life. Even better…later in the show as the couple meets with their shrink, who also looks like she went to Tara Reid’s plastic surgeon, Feldman talks about his worry of friends & family seeing her naked.
You know what you should be worrying about Corey, how fast your wife’s gonna leave you after she becomes a member of the Playboy Club and realizes she’s dating Corey “MFin” Feldman! With that, let’s take a peak at my MLB ATS play of the day & more hotties.
MILWAUKEE BREWERS (-120) @ CINCY REDS
After getting beat down like Jason Kidd in the NBA Playoffs...
MILWAUKEE BREWERS (-120) @ CINCY REDS
After getting beat down like Jason Kidd in the NBA Playoffs by the Cubbies, the Brew Crew headed to Hotlanta and pulled 2 of 3 from the Braves. For all the talk that Ryan Braun and the boyz were devastated by last week’s setback, let’s not forget they lead the Wild Card race by one game, and while they won’t say it publicly, probably are more concerned with holding that spot. Tonight, they head to Cincy to face a Reds squad that has lost 8 of 9 and will be facing a pitcher they’re hitting .381 off of in Bronson Arroyo (9-8, 5.74). As for MILW’s hurler, while Manny Parra (9-4, 3.93) has struggled of late, I watched him from a beautiful skybox Wed. and his stuff was pretty filthy (BTW, the skybox wasn’t beautiful because of the artwork, but because of two guests in short-shorts that decided to joined us for a minimal fee). Throw-in that Dusty Baker is their manager and already planning his off-season fishing-trip, and I’m surprised I’m only giving-up an extra 20 bucks to play 'em…Brew Crew by 2-3 runs