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Monday Night ATS Magic & Friendly Faces

NCAA: 10-4 - NFL: 8-8 - Teasers: 8-5 - Hotties: 644-0
To skip to my Monday Night ATS Pick (ur missin' out) Touch Me Here

Before we roll to my Monday Night Extravaganza, let’s hit-up a few weekend thoughts to get those hazy brains of my loyal degenerates fired-up (BTW, good riddance to Clemson's Tommy Bowden…you’ve cost my kids at least a year of college ova the years!):

What, u pointing at ur monstrous overpriced contract Tommie?

Bears Coaching Staff treated like a Newbie in Van Nuys, CA
To start, while the unda play was closer than I would’ve liked, I’ll take an ATS victory anyway I can get it...not counting playing catcher for my book As for the craziness in Hot-Lanta, the first move that had me screaming at the TV was Lovie’s decision to go-for-it on 4th & goal down two scores with half a quarter to play. I know the Bears somehow made it work as the Falcons forgot how to run-out the clock & Kyle “Joe Montana” Orton continued his unexpected march to Canton, but how do you make that call still needing another score? I don’t care what you tell me…it’s almost as idiotic as Marty Mornhinweg’s decision to kick-off after winning the toss in OT a few years back.

Hey Robbie G, I bet (legally of course) she could have performed a better squibber in her shoes than ur azz!

Secondly, the sports-radio hatred regarding the squib kick doesn’t hold much weight in my bloodshot eyes. The problem was not the decision, but Robbie “As good as Gould…except on squibbers” execution. Instead of lasering a chopper to a vacant spot, just like when I play kickball with the neighbor kids when their parents are watching, he basically just hit a lazy dribbler directly to WR Harry Douglas (BTW, does it make me a loser that every time I hear “Harry Douglas” I laugh like a lil schoolgirl? BTW2, when the neighbor kid’s parents aren’t watching, I riffle it like Tony Meola and hustle them for every last Ju-Ju Bee!). Don’t blame Lovie Homeboys, blame the MFin kicker!

While Matt Ryan's ball sailed like a pretty bird, how the hell did the Bears not expect the Falcons to run that route?

And finally, the Bears defensive scheme on the final play was beyond horrendous. The only chance the Falcons had was for a 30-yard out, but for some reason there wasn’t a Bear anywhere near that extremely predictable sideline pattern. I’ll even support the crazy-azz fans that wanted a DB to “chuck” or attempt to receive a holding penalty after a few seconds rolled off the clock, rather than provide no-pass rush and instruct the secondary to play against the Hail Mary. While my victory on the unda tempered my anger, let’s just say Lovie’s decisions might be the reason the Bears fail to make the playoffs…and at least gives me a chance on my unda 8 wins on Chicago’s season.

Maybe you should have spent the last 7 years practicing something else Mr. Clipboard?

Matt Cassell’s worse for the Pats D than the O
Put a frickin fork in the Pats playoff chances! I know they’ve been out in Caly longer than a former Community College girl who’s trying the Hollywood scene after some convincing from a talent scout to try plastic implants, but last night’s performance confirmed what many of us already knew…substituting a HS starter for Gisele’s boy-toy makes a world of difference...even for the Socrates of Coaching (BTW, I luv how the Hooded-Wonder’s smug-smirk has transformed into the look of a former Prom King’s distain for a computer-geek stepson.) Without Brady the offense is no longer controlling the tempo or forcing opponents to play catch-up, and as a result, the defense no-longer looks like savvy veterans and simply looks AARP old. Not only are the old-geezers spending more time on the field, but they’ve been forced to stop the run past the 1st quarter.

While I'd be happy if I was Tom Brady and had to stay at home, I don't think Vrabel, Bruschi, & Seau are?

Last season, the Patriots would jump-out to an early led and force the opponents into a pass-happy attack, which enabled the linebackers to use their experience to confuse opposing QBs with unique blitz schemes and coverage drops. Now, with Cassell looking more overwhelmed than a virgin at the Playboy Mansion and unable to move the chains, teams can exploit NE's young secondary early in the game and utilize a power rushing attack late to cripple their aging LBs. As for the genius of Mr. Belichick, let’s just say without Bundchen’s bump-n-grind mate he’s looking more like the coach that was sub-.500 before the Wolverine took over the reigns of his teams.

While he's already a superstar in the Track world...
...he's quickly becoming a superstar on the gridiron!

Baylor’s FR QB will be a Heisman Winner before leaving Waco
The 6-3 son of a retired Army sergeant, Robert Griffin enrolled in Baylor early after dominating the HS classroom like he does any surface of his choice. After spring football practice where he wrestled away the starting QB-job from 8th year & former Miami (FL) QB Kirby Freeman and last year’s starter Jr. Blake Szymanski, while most HS seniors were tying to convince underclassman to bump-uglies at prom Griffin ran track for the Unviristy…and what do you know, the cat finished 3rd in the 400-hurdles at the NCCA Outdoor track championship.

Just like her, I'm guessin' Griffin looks just as nice on sand!

As for the pigskin, early this season Griffin looked like the former Hokie & Dog-hating Ronny Mexico with his legs as an absolutely perfect fit for Art Briles's spread-style offense. This weekend, following a 102 2 TD rushing performance against Oklahoma, Iowa State was geared to stopping the phenom & forced the Copperas Cove native to put the ball in the air. The result…a Bears 38-10 victory as Griffin was 21-24 for 278 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT & barely made an attempt to run the pill. Before you call me crazy for predicting a Heisman victory by 2010, watch the magician on gridiron…it’s Must MFing See TV!

Just like her role on 90210, I love a teaser!



Call me a BEEATCH if you'd like, but this game scares me straight-up. Initially, I was leaning towards a desperate Browns (+9) squad with 15 days to prepare and the G-Men finally overlooking a bottom-feeder & overdue for a less than stellar performance. But with Kellen Winslow out & more analysis on the abysmal performance from QB Derek Anderson thus far, I just don’t have the stones to play Dawg Pound.

I wonder if Tom Coughlin did some mind voodoo and hypnotized them with his eyes sometime last year!

At some point when I was passed-out in 2007, Coughlin suddenly became Dick Vermeil-loved by his players & Eli became a lock for the Hall of Fame. With a swagger and confidence, the Giants didn’t seem to rest on their laurels and entered the ’08 season with a NE Patriot-type desire to become a dynasty. Nothing was more apparent of this than in New York’s 2nd preseason game as the Brows played with the typical preseason-effort, while the NY was running around with playoff intensity and jumped out to 30-3 lead & knocked-out Derek Anderson with a concussion…and since then, DA has not looked the same.

Not counting Ms Kerr or yours truly in a speedo, top-to-bottom has anybody looked better than the G-Men?

As for tonight's ATS Play, New York is at the top of almost every offensive & defensive category, while Romeo & Co. are near the bottom of both. Throw-in the Monday Night stage that'll give the Giants another opportunity to show they are the class of the league, and I fully expect a double-digit victory (but last night I had a dream the Browns pulled-out a backend cover...so I'm teasing this BEEATCH!). As for the Unda, once the Giants are up, their power rushing attack will simply keep the clock moving as we dance our way to another Monday Night Victory!

Final Score: GIANTS 27 BROWNS 13

She reminds of the Giants with her combination of...
...a business approach with plenty of saucy attitide!

Posted by Greg Gamble on October 13, 2008 12:04 PM |


This page contains a single article from October 13, 2008 12:04 PM.

The previous days article was TEASIN' T-BONE'S NFL ATS PICKS.

The next days article was Daily ATS Pigskin Banter & Lovely Ladies.

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