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November 2008 Archives

November 1, 2008


NCAA: 13-14 NFL: 6-6 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 9-7

Go straight to Teasin’ T-Bone’s NCAA pick o’ tha day, TOUCH ME!

I've never wanted to lick a football more than right now.

Happy November fellow sports fanatics!!! It is election Saturday in my book, and insideplays is running for office. The current opening is ‘Pimparific Playa that luvs ATS and LADIES’. It just so happens that no one else is running against us this year, and you know why? I have a few thoughts of my own, but I’ll let you be the judge. Did I mention that you get all this entertainment and advice for free? Grab a drink and bring your friends, cuz it ain’t nuttin’ but a gansta party!

But first, as promised...
For Greggy G's Sunday Funday ATS Picks...TOUCH ME HERE

LSU's D is trained to attack SEC foes, so how u think a banged-up & bad Conf. USA squad handles things?

The Wavers adjusted to life without Chicago Bear Matt Forte better than expected as Forte’s understudy Andre Anderson was absolutely Marion Butts-beastworthy. Over a 4 game stretch the Jr. averaged 31 carries & 185 yrds/gm and still ranks 2nd on the team in receptions…and I say still cause the poor guy is out for the year. How about their #1 WR and playmaker Jeremy Willams you ask…poor guy broke his hand and hasn’t played in four weeks. I know it’s wrong to jump on a sorority girl when their sleeping & I know it’s mean to gang-up on a team in despair, but sometimes, I just don’t do the right thing.

The Tigers will FLAWLESSLY SPREAD the wealth today!

Tulane has lost three straight, including last week’s 42-17 home loss to Rice where they rushed for a total of 34 yards, and have decided to start a rotating average-QB situation. And Saturday, they travel to face a livid Tigers squad having lost 2 of 3 and embarrassed for talking trash & not backing it up. I could explain how the Tigers will score, but it will be spread-out to each & every one of them. The LSU Lines will dominate, the skill-position players have too much size & speed, and most importantly, the Wave might have the most Special Teams catastrophes in the entire nation…& that was against Conf. USA squads!

Final Score: GREEN WAVE 6 TIGERS 44

You know how IP.com rolls, don't ya???

Greggy G has already got the NBA vibe going in the last couple days, to check out a couple of his winners CLICK HERE! And also check back for both of us tomorrow as we drop some NFL knowledge for ya. But for my college picks, keep reading below and try not to get sidetracked by all the skin.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of this tootsie pop? The world may never know....
I forgot about the football, just click below...

Continue reading "TEASIN' T-BONES SPORTS PICKS" »

November 2, 2008


NCAA: 13-16 NFL: 6-6 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 9-7

To check out Greggy G’s picks, TOUCH ME!

Ouch, looks like it's Sunday Funday again!

Recently I have been very glad when I wake up and can say that it is Sunday. And today I really wish that hind-sight was a friend of mine that would visit me on Saturday morning and not Sunday morning, cuz as I sit here with a hangover that will soon get drank away, I realized that I put all my lettuce on a team from Utah and the friggin’ Golden Domers, who have managed to piss me off even more than before.

I actually liked the Golden Domers yesterday, I feel dirty!

And before I get off the Charlie Weiss hate list, let me just ask the burning question. With Pitt bringing in a 2nd string QB that only completed 50% and threw 3 picks yesterday, what in the hell was the ND defense doing the rest of the day that would put them in a situation to give up 36 points. Let me make a point for the Pitt Panthers and my mind numbing level of hatred for Wandstadt also….can you really say the coach is making the right decisions when his 2nd string play caller comes in and his team plays better?

She's ready for Sunday, are you?

Enough of the boys that play for fun, lets get to the men that drive our ticket prices up to a couple hundred a seat…..

Continue reading "TEASIN' T-BONE'S NFL PICKS" »

November 3, 2008

Monday Night ATS Luv & Friendly Faces

NFL: 11-11 - NCAA: 13-8 - Teasers: 11-6 – ( NBA: 3-3 )

Considering Santonio was on vacation for unauthorized Glaucoma Medicine usage last week, my guess is you'll see a focused superstar on the Monday Night's stage as the Steelers pick apart the banged-up secondary of the Skins!

As somewhat of a Steeler hater, I wanted to believe the quiet criticism that Big Ben is a drama queen who loves to be the banged-up hero, but unfortunately, considering nobody in the league stands in the pocket longer to make a play than the tall-azz cat, I actually admire his guts & believe he's one of the few QBs that can handle the drama. And unlike David Carr & Jon Kitna holding onto the ball when big black men are chasing them, Ben keeps his eyes downfield and can still throw with authority when lineman are wrapped around his legs.

Just like Big Ben, just because someone likes to show-off doesn't mean that don't have a solid game!

While the Redskins D has been the solid all season, they don’t have much of a pass rush (ranked 29th in sacks, Jason Taylor-out) and have a banged-up secondary desperately looking towards their upcoming Bye Week (CB Shawn Springs-out, CB Carlos Rogers-quest., LaRon Landry-prob.). On the flipside, the Steelers had a chance to regroup three weeks ago on Bye, as well as, the return of WR Santonio Holmes (suspended for the whacky weed) and RB Fast Willie Parker from injury. While Parker’s not a 100%, with Mewelde Moore averaging ova 100 yards and 5.0 a carry in his last three games, expect Pitt to split carries tonight to keep the run game fresh. As for the deadly deep threat Mr. Holmes, from what I hear he’s ashamed of the incident and looking to prove he’s a focused professional…whether or not that’s true for the long-term, my guess is he’s Jerry Rice-focused tonight and the Steelers make a point to get him the ball.

Look for a couples flawless cats dressed in back to anchor the Steelers run-defense against Clinton Portis.

As for what to expect when the Skins have the ball, Clinton Portis has been the Javon Ringer of the Big Ten easily leading the league in carries & yards, but like the secondary, he’s in desperate need of a weekend on the sofa (probable-ankle). And instead of getting the vacation time, he’ll be working against the #1 ranked defense and arguably the fiercest group of LBs in the league. While QB Jason Campbell has been remarkably efficient this season and shown all the tools to be a solid signal-caller for years to come, with teams forced to crowd the box to slow Portis, Campbell’s had favorable one-on-one match-ups for his little tikes on the outside (Moss & Randle El) and Cooley over the middle. Tonight, I expect the Steelers to play their standard D against the banged-up Redskin rushing attack, forcing Campbell to fit the pigskin in-between spots…something he’s been tentative to do in the past.

Shawn Springs (out) could've really used a Bye Week!

While some may think I’m overvaluing the Bye Week, especially with how flat the Bears looked this past Sunday, I actually think the Sunday off helps more two or three weeks down the line as health & a playing-rhythm start to intertwine. Especially, with the big-play weapon’s returning for Coach Omar Epps (Holmes & Parker), and Joe Gibbs’s ole boys eyeballing an upcoming weekend vacation, I expect the Steelers physicality to lead them to a victory tonight.

Final Score: STEELERS 23 REDSKINS 17

As for my NBA ATS PICK for tonight...
What better way to start the work week than some NFL & NBA ATS highlighted by a smooth-azz cocktail of love!

Continue reading "Monday Night ATS Luv & Friendly Faces" »

November 4, 2008

NCAA Pigskin, NBA ATS, & Friendly Faces

NFL: 12-11 - NCAA: 13-8 - Teasers: 11-6 – Hotties 841-0

If J.R. continues to mature as a professional & develop his skills, this deal is more about him than Chauncey!

After a 2-0 ATS evening and an NBA trade with more flavor than Snow Bunnies in bikinis, the cocktails flowed like the Salmon of Capistrano as I perused my late night sources to continue the magical start to the week. And considering we have a lil Tuesday Night College Football action to parlay with our NBA & Presidential ATS, I’m guessing my friends at Eagle Liquors already know to save Greggy G a parking space in the loading zone…btw, what aisle are the 2-liters of Purple Passion available? But briefly on the A.I. for Chauncey swap, let me breakdown some knowledge on why these organizations made the deal:

You know what she has in common with Iverson? Neither of them have the frame to defend the 2-spot.

1. J.R. Smith determines if Denver makes the Playoffs
If most casual fans still see shooting guard J.R. Smith (or as his friends call him “Young-Rich”) as simply an immature “Me-First” streetballer, they haven’t been watching Nugget hoops like they should. While still possessing the ability to be a knucklehead, the 6-6 highflier has the quickness & strength to be threat on the wing even w/out his lethal 3pt stroke. Over the last two seasons, “Young-Rich” has averaged almost 13 ppg in 20 min. of work while shooting 40% from behind the arc & 45% from the floor.

Every time I hear J.R. Smith's nickname "Young-Rich" it reminds me of Monica Hansen's nickname "Young-Sexy"!

As for the former Sixer, after years of punishment, an inability to guard apposing SGs, and not creating enough space for Carmelo to operate, it became apparent Iverson and his persona were more than expendable. Now, J.R. steps into the other wing-spot spacing the floor and providing Melo more room to operate. Oh yeah, and instead of the overachieving 2nd string point Anthony Carter forced to log starter minutes, George Karl has a veteran All-Star floor-general (ala Gary Payton & Sam I Am) getting his shooters the rock and providing another floor-spacer to enable Syracuse’s finest a chance to utilize his talents.

Following this season, DET will be swimming in FA dollars!

2. Money, Money, & Stuckey on the mind of Joe D
On the Motown side, while the immediate impact is not as great, the reasoning is surprisingly similar. Like J.R. Smith, Rodney Stuckey’s rapid-development behind Chauncey facilitated this trade. I guarantee if Joe D knew Stuckey was already this NBA-ready, he would never had signed the slowly-aging Billups to a long-term contract. With Rip & Tayshaun on the wings, the young combo of Jason Maxiel & Amir Johnson at PF, and Stuckey at the point, the Pistons only have to fill the void in the middle…and now, they have the money to do their shopping with A.I. & Sheed coming off the books.

Talk about a lethal tattooed version of The Microwave!

To tell you truth, I actually think Stuckey ova Billups may provide a youthful spark to a somewhat stagnate group the last couple years. And while I struggle to see how Iverson will mesh with Mo-Town’s starters, if the organization has the balls and A.I. is willing to put his ego aside, talk about an upgraded-tattooed version of The Microwave off the bench…never mind, that makes too much sense to actually happen. Overall, I still see the Pistons has top-tier team in the East that will lose in the 2nd round of the Playoffs this year, but because of this move, they’ve become big-time players in the FA sweepstakes and reestablished themselves as a contender for year’s to come.

Trust me like you trust your bookie Homeboys, Drew Willy will lead Buffalo to a double-digit victory tonight!

Buffalo (4-4) has rebounded from a heartbreaking three-game losing streak to win their last two and pull even with Akron for the MAC East lead. Led by one of the hottest young coaches in the country, Turner Gill has the veteran Bulls brimming with confidence and convinced their early season disappointments have made them stronger. Sr. QB Drew Willy may not have David Klingler numbers, but he’s commanded the offense efficiently and limited his mistakes this season (15 TD, 4 INT, 63%). Considering he has a future Sunday Funday RB behind him in 6-2, 215 lbs Jr. James Starks and a playmaker like WR Naaman Roosevelt (51 rec, 695 yrds, 6 TD) on the outside, the balanced attack should have no trouble with the lousy defense of the (2-6) Redhawks…who just allowed Kent State to score 54 points in a 33 point home-loss last week! While Starks has been banged-up at times this season, he looked 100% last week rushing for 185 yards & 2 TDs against a decent Ohio Bobcats squad. Probably the most impressive aspect of the Bulls offense this season was their ability to keep pace at Missouri (losing 21-27 late in the 3rd) without Starks, before wearing down late.

Just like handling a snake, an ESPN Night Game may be a lil nerve-racking for the Redhawks freshman QB!

As for the Redhawks offense, the high-hopes for Jr. QB Daniel Raudabaugh were officially squashed three weeks ago as he was benched for redshirt Fr. Clay Belton (54% 2 TD, 3 INT). While the 6-5 Belton has the tools to become a player in the MAC, last week he threw two costly interceptions in their blow-out to Kent St. so expect him to look tentative on the road tonight, especially with the ESPN Tuesday Night atmosphere. The only playmaker Miami (OH) has sported of late is another freshman who took over just a couple weeks ago in J.R. Taylor. While he’s rushed for 240 yards at 6.5 clip the last two weeks, considering he didn’t touch the pigskin until the six-game of the season, I’m not the least big worried he’ll keep the Redhawks within double-digits tonight.

Final Score: REDHAWKS 17 BULLS 34

Alrighty, enought pigskin, it's time for some NBA ATS Luv

Continue reading "NCAA Pigskin, NBA ATS, & Friendly Faces" »

November 5, 2008

Home of Daily ATS Banter & Lovely Lingerie

NFL: 12-11 - NCAA: 14-8 - Teasers: 11-6 – Hotties 841-0
* GREG GAMBLE’S 2008 HARDWOOD PICKS: 4-4 NBA ATS (click here)

Darth Vader & Darth Sidious in Oakland together is scary!

Before we roll to my Wednesday Night Pigskin Pick or brag about my Buffalo Bulls victory last night, there’s a Sunday Funday ATS gem that could only look better if it was displayed in Megan Fox’s navel area. Without question, no NFL ship is sinking faster than Al “Darth Sidious” Davis’s captain-less Raider craft. While the final weeks of the Lane Kiffin Era at least saw the Black & Silver playing with passion, since Darth Sidious’s embarrassing school-girl tattletale tirade, the players have not only checked-out on the season, but demanded their agents get them the hell out of Oakland asap. Throw-in a divided, interim coaching staff with little experience and praying their careers are not permanently tainted, and I’d be shocked if Raider Nation saw a competitive half of football from here on out.

I won't see the Raiders this focused on Sunday!

With the precision and concentration needed to prepare every week and the passion required for every play on Sunday, how do you think the latest news that Darth Sidious wants to cut everybody he demanded by brought in will work on team morale (De’Angelo Hall, Javon Walker, etc.). Considering they gave-up a sacred 2nd round pick for the combustible Hall and outbid themselves for a WR with robotic knees, recently released from the hospital after getting jumped in Vegas, and still morning the horrific death of friend & Bronco teammate Darrent Williams, from top-to-bottom you realize the organization has been reading “How to Run a Successful Business” written by the former CEO of Enron with special assistance from Isiah Thomas. As a result…

I'd cover my face too if I was stuck in Raider Nation...

...especially with Carolina Baby Blue rollin' into town!

It’s hard enough to develop a franchise QB in a perfect situation, let alone in the circus Poor JaMarcus is dealing with. And even in the right situation, I had my reservations about a QB drafted soley because he was enormous and could throw the ball twice as far as Chad Pennington. Last week, making the 9th start of his 2-year career at home, the former LSU Tiger was 6 of 19 for 31 yards and a pick…did I mention the agile giant was also sacked four times! Overall, if you take away the two “run-for-your-life” scrambles by Russell, the offense gained…are you ready…21 TOTAL FRICKIN YARDS against a Falcons squad that had allowed almost 800 yards the previous two weeks!

While most of us will be smiling on Sunday, my guess is the Raiders won't be happy or sad...they'll just suck!

This week, in addition to dealing w/ the craziness surrounding Darth Sidious’s latest delusional threats, the players & coaches must prepare for a disciplined Panthers squad off a Bye & only a game behind NY for the top-spot in the NFC. Unfortunetly, I'm guessing Oakland’s focus will be hindered this week as they implement a game-plan while staring out the Raider facility like a cat in the clink! While some may be scared about the cross-country trip or the potential of overlooking a hapless opponent, with Jake DelSpazzhome, the fiery Steve Smith, and two weeks of Jim Fox convincing them they can be the best, I have feeling we’re going to see “No Mercy” from Carolina and an early season college-type blow-out.

Final Score: PANTHERS 34 RAIDERS 6


Watch Mr. Davis closely 2night boys, he's a legit NFL QB!

Muncie, IN should be rocking tonight as the undefeated Cardinals host ESPN’s Wednesday Night College Football contest. Besides the expected emotion from a mid-major on the national stage and the unexpected emotion of Ball State being a player in the polls, the rallying-support & season dedication to WR Dante Love following his career-ending injury has raised the focus & passion of the entire football progam. After 100 catches & 10 TD last season, Love passed on an opportunity to go pro as expectations soared for a Cardinals squad returning almost every starter on offense, including the most underrated QB in the nation Nate Davis (this year: 67%, 15 TD, 5 INT). Unfortunately, while doctors have said Love should live a normal & happy life, a spinal cord injury in the 4th game of the season completely changed the Cardinals goals. No longer looking to prove they were the best team in the MAC with top-20 potential, the Cardinals enter the gridiron with their hearts desperately wanting to win every game for Dante.

Cardinal Red has looked tight in Muncie, IN this year!

For the season, Ball State has beaten every opponent by double digits averaging over 450 yards/gm and scoring less than 31 points just once this season. While the 6-2 Jr. signal-caller has seen his numbers dip from last season’s ridiculous totals (3667 yards, 30 TD, 6 INT), the reason has been the health & dominance of one of the nation’s leading rushers lil MiQuale Lewis (989 yards, 5.8 avg, 14 TD). Throw-in a veteran O-Line, a bevy of skilled WR/TEs playing for their fallen friend, and a QB that can tuck in run when in trouble, and even the Huskies stout defense won’t be able to slow this balanced attack.

Speaking of (5-3) Northern Illinois...(KEEP READING & DROOLING)

Continue reading "Home of Daily ATS Banter & Lovely Lingerie" »

November 6, 2008

Daily Pigskin, Hardwood, & Bikini Picks n Pics

NFL: 12-11 - NCAA: 15-8 - Teasers: 11-6 – Hotties 841-0
BTW, 3-0 on the gridiron this week! As for Sunday Funday Click Here

The Mighty Quinn ERA is upon us Homeboys and...

...I'm guessing that means a return to greatness for Braylon!

I expect the Dawg Pound to be extra feisty, and shit-faced, with the wacky weeknight treat & the unveiling of the Mighty Quinn. While Cleveland has been one of the most inconsistent teams all year, in victories against the defending champs and at JAX, they’ve proven to have the nastiness in the trenches you need to survive the 2nd half of the NFL season. The O-Line has looked dominate at times & RB Jamal Lewis still has the ability to wear down opponents w/ his bruising downhill-style, so expect the Browns to wear down the undersized & undermanned Broncos front-7. In addition, with O-Coordinator Rob Chudzinski’s love-affair with his TEs, look for Quinn to find favorable match-ups for Kellen Winslow & Steve Heiden off play-action. Throw-in a Champ Bailey’less secondary shadowing a superstar WR overdue for a huge-game & excited to see the fresh-face under center, and I expect the Braylon Edwards to have some big-plays tonight.

Unlike year's past, Denver can't get the run game rollin'!

As for when the Broncos have ball, unlike Jassie’s remarkable performance in Old Geezers, Young Teasers where she made everybody better, Cutler seems to have lost confidence in his O-Line and hasn’t shown the leadership skills to match his ability. Considering the once lethal rushing attack for Denver is ranked in the bottom half of the league, Shannahan has become more one-dimensional as the season has progressed…which plays right into the hands of a Browns D that has looked much better against the pass.

Just like Quinn, the unknown can be exciting!

Overall, I just believe the home-field advantage, night-game atmosphere (they beat NY on Monday Night), and the excitement from the Mighty Quinn taking snaps carries the Browns to an easy victory anoche. While some may be skeptical of the newbie, his moxy and experience under the spotlight should make for an exciting transition!

Final Score: BRONCOS 20 BROWNS 31


TCU has been littered w/ athletes for years, but now, they have a scheme & confident QB to actually match their ability!

The Spiked Frogs defense is 2nd in the nation in total yards allowed/game, while their rush defense leads the nation with a sick 1.4 yards/carry average. When teams have abandoned the run, they’ve found lil time to operate with an energetic line led by the nation’s sack leader (14) in the lighting quick DE Jerry Hughes. Overall, during TCU’s five game win-streak, only one opponent has reached double figures and that came last week at UNLV where the Frogs were up 44-7 before allowing a garbage TD with one minute to go.

Just like success on the red-carpet, the Horned Frogs realized they needed to open thing up on offense!

On offense, besides missing two games after being injured at Oklahoma, 6-3 So. QB Andy Dalton has been a hidden gem from TCU as he’s limited his mistakes (9 TD, 2 INT) and shown a natural ability to run their unique spread-style rushing attack. Five players have carried the pigskin more than 59 times, while the multi-dimensional receiving core has six kids with double-digit catches, each with the ability to carry the pigskin...

As for the Utes when they have the rock...
(Just like our friend, I have more to cover...READ ON)

Continue reading "Daily Pigskin, Hardwood, & Bikini Picks n Pics" »

November 7, 2008

Friday Night NBA ATS Spectacular

NFL: 12-12 - NCAA: 15-9 - Teasers: 11-6 – Hotties 841-0

Hell ya you're a "Soldier"...a "Soldier" that can't hold onto the pigskin when it matters...nice penalty too!

You kind of remind me of Tila cause you both have lousy acts, the only difference, she makes up for it in other ways...

...just like my girl Paris!

After watching both my college & professional squads piss-away leads late, I decided I needed a day away from the Gidiron and studied-up for a lil NBA Happy Hour for today's ATS selections. As for my College Football picks for the weekend, check me out tomorrow with Teasin' T-Bone as we roll through the madness and lingerie.

Even as a rook, the kid was levels above the competition!

The winning-addicted combo of CP3 & Byron Scott coming off an L is almost too easy with Grandpa Larry and MJ's disfuctional squad on the docket...Hornets by 16-21 points

BTW, do you ever WONDA what could have been if...

...these two had still be playing some high pick-n-roll?!

For all the depth on the Vinny Del Baio Bulls, they still don't have a big to stop anybody with some power...and tonight, two of the best come to the Windy City, The Diesel and Amare. While Rose has looked sweet, the offense runs like a YMCA squad...Suns by 10-15 points

Just like Dirk, veteran talent is always sexy in home whites!

J-Kidd might be the happiest cat in the West after George Karl snagged Chauncey...finally someone closer in age he can actually keep up with...Mavs by 6-11 points

As for my boy D-Wade vs Timmy D tonight (CLICK HERE)

Continue reading "Friday Night NBA ATS Spectacular" »

November 8, 2008


NCAA: 13-16 NFL: 7-6 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 9-7

Go straight to Teasin’ T-Bone’s NFL pick o’ tha day, TOUCH ME!

Personal foul, it appears the passer likes it rough!

Thanks for joining us today at Insideplays, where words are only used to give your eyes a break from all that friggin’ skin! All kidding aside, you know you get two things when you roll shotgun with Teasin’ T-Bone on a CFB Saturday…college coeds and some form of opinion on where to let your cabbage reside. BTW, Greg Gamble (15-9 NCAA ATS) is all over the BUCKEYES (-11) at Northwestern this morning. The Cats are banged-up at the skill positions and the windy/cold weather probably doesn't bode well for their aerial attack. On Tressel's side, look for some smash-mouth action with their advantage in the trenches, while Pryor will break a few around the corner and special teams will snag at least one score. Sshhhh...Greggy G's Blue Ballz Luv Anacot Steel & Ohio St. -11

Let me introduce coed #1
.....Followed very nicely by coed #2

Let me start by saying that USC isn’t on my list today, but I’ve been impressed recently at their ability to cover a 16, 25, 43, and 46 point spread in four of their last 5 contests. And not only did they cover, they covered by an average of 14 points a game!! Oh, you want to go one step further, they are giving up 22 friggin’ points to Cal, the 2nd placed team in the PAC-10. I don’t have the stones to drop on this one, partially cause I’m still not convinced that the conference is worth a squat this year, but mostly cause I want to be able to put full concentration on the USC ladies(check ‘em out here) for the full 60 minutes.

When you find a girl that likes poles, I always recommend folding your Washington the long way, put the back of your head on the stage, and gently place it on the bridge of your nose. Now close your eyes and hope they aren’t crusted shut in the morning!

Keep on reading if you’re lookin’ for my winners, but let me warn you before you click below, I have a teaser that is so much of a lock in my mind that I’ll be poppin’ the bubbly before kick off.

Continue reading "TEASIN' T-BONE'S NCAA ATS BANTER" »

November 9, 2008


NCAA: 13-17 NFL: 7-6 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 10-7

Go straight to Teasin’ T-Bone’s NFL pick o’ tha day, TOUCH ME!

With the win yesterday, there are 2 reasons to be a Hawk

How ‘bout dem Hawkeyes yesterday sports fans!! I know that Kinnick isn’t the funnest place to play in, but never in my mind did I think that a guy name Ricky Stanzi would keep the game close, let alone win the damn thing. I think it just goes to show that home field advantage still means something, and when you let an underdog stay close long enough it normally spells trouble. One thing is for sure, it sure keeps my juices flowing and simply justifies why I spend 12 hours of every Saturday in the fall glued to my friggin’ big screen!

Too bad Zook couldn't have pulled one out yesterday as well, wait a sec, shouldn't the hat be on the other end?

But on to Sunday Funday, and in true Insideplays fashion, there ain’t nothing better than grabbing a bloody and reading the daily lines. Our NFL guru Greggy G spilled some knowledge earlier this week on who he likes today, if you want to check it out and see his lovely ladies, CLICK HERE! I have a favorite today as well, so keep sifting through the skin to see what is in store from Teasin’ T-Bone today! Hang on tight fellas.
Gotta luv a hard workin' girl that smiles through it all, I think she's experienced a couple fake orgasms before!

Continue reading "TEASIN' T-BONE'S NFL ATS PICKS" »

November 10, 2008

Monday Night ATS Football & Lingerie Picks

NFL 13-12 - NCAA 16-9 - Teasers 11-6 - Happiness 67-0

After years of giving me plenty of gossip material, Seabass rewarded me again yesterday w/ a missed FG & ATS victory

While my picks were perfect this weekend, I’ll admit watching Seabass line-up for a last second 58-yarder had me thinking of all the times the Gambling Gods have toyed with my degenerate azz. But thankful, after years of using the date-rape drug on himself (it’s physically impossible not to mention that every time I use his name), his poor lil foot just didn’t have the gusto to get the pigskin ova the crossbar. Throw-in T-Bone’s call on the Titans yesterday, and I expect some Thank You cards after we prove once again 2night that nobody breaks down the ATS World w/ artistic flavor than ur Homeboys at InsidePlays!

While most would be satisfied with two perfect assets, Breaston's recent development actually gives Warner three!

Tonight’s contest just screams of crazy tuddies & turnovers for two teams rarely gracing the national spotlight. After years of a steady decline, a rejuvenated Kurt Warner somehow remembered he was an MVP back in the day becaus he didn't drop the pigskin and got rid of it before big blackmen sat on his head. Now, with a superstar trio of WRs thanks to the recent emergence of Steve Breaston, Warner has been able to find mismatches at the line-of-scrimmage and uses a quick drop letting his playmakers make plays & keeping the offense in a rhythm. Already ranked 2nd in the NFL in passing yardage, the Cardinals should look even better tonight with Anquan Boldin’s return a week ago, an legit backfield w/ the emergence of the punishing rookie Dreads Hightower (last week: 22 carries, 109 yrds, TD) and the lil speedster J.J. Arrington (last week: 7 rush, 61 yrds – 4 rec, 58 yards).

I don't see how SFs aging & undersized DBs handles Fitz...

...or the strength of my Homeboy Anquan!

As for the 49ers D, considering they're much better stopping the run & currently have an undermanned secondary, I expect the Cardinals to be aggressive early and excited to showcase their lethal attack on the Monday Night stage. During San Fran’s five-game losing streak, Mike "Drop it like it's Hot" Singletary’s D has allowed opponents to average almost 33 ppg and ranks near the bottom in Takeways. As a result, no reason to think they’ll simply find the magic on the road cause they had two weeks to prepare…if anything, I expect the quick Cardinal attack to overwhelm them out of the gate.

If Mike Martz would just look in the mirror, maybe he'd remember that he's supposed to be an offensive guru!

As for the other side of the ball, Mike Martz & Co. have shown the ability to move the ball, but have struggled with turnovers and capitalizing in the red zone. In the 34-13 loss to the Seahawks two weeks ago, SF actually out-gained Seattle by 127 yards (388 total). Off the Bye Week and with QB Shaun Hill breathing some much needed life into the offense, I expect the 49ers to find some success with a balanced attack. In three starts to finish-off the abysmal 2007 season, Hill actually was phenomenal with a QB rating ova 100 and throwing five TDs to only one INT. Last week after talking over for J.T. O’Should-not-be-playing, the former Maryland QB was extremely efficient in limited action (15-23, 173 yards, TD). With his ability to make quick confident decisions, I’m actually surprised he wasn’t given more of an opportunity to win the job this off-season.

I have a feeling Singletary's rant might keep the most gifted TE in the NFL focused for a couple big-plays!

While the Cardinals D has been solid against the run, they rank 19th against the pass and have been overly aggressive at times. As a result, look for Martz to spead-out the offense and open-up the passing lanes for Hill to maneuver. While the freak known as Vernon Davis continues to dissapoint, after his embarrassing sideline debacle I expect the fastest TE in NFL history to look focused and have a breakout performance tonight. Paired with Frank Gore’s downhill running style (Gore rushed for almost 7.0 carry in their season opening loss to Zona) and plenty of possessions with the pace the Cardinals set, I expect the 49ers to score a couple TDs & kick a few through the uprights to make this a nice little shootout!

Final Score: 49ERS 20 ARIZONA 34

For tonight's Teaser Spectacular...TOUCH ME HERE
You know why Sarah's smiling? Because she heard Greggy G has more ATS Plays & Hotties on the docket for today!

Continue reading "Monday Night ATS Football & Lingerie Picks" »

November 11, 2008

Tuesday Night ATS Pigskin & Friendly Faces

NFL 14-12 - NCAA 16-9 - Teasers 12-6 - Happiness 69-0
Did you miss my Undefeated Monday Night Picks...TOUCH ME HERE

Before we get to my NBA picks and how Rose is gonna abuse ATL's PGs & love not seeing J-Smith protecting the rim...


Because picking two is always more fun than picking one!

#14 BALL ST. CARDINALS @ MIAMI (OH) REDHAWKS (teased ova 46)

Not only are the undefeated Cardinals relying on the excitement from the uncharted waters of national exposure and their program-altering success. As mentioned last week, the career-ending injury to the heart-n-soul of the squad, SR WR Dante Love, early in the year raised the stakes and aided in their focus in taking advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity (TOUCH ME HERE and scroll down for last week’s scouting report on Ball St). While QB Nate Davis (19 TD, 5 INT, 68-comp%) has received most the hype as he’s basically picked apart every team on the docket this season with a loaded receiving core, the reason Ball State has dominated virtually every opponent is a solid O-Line and diminutive backfield that has yet to be contained.

With teams affraid of Davis lighting'em up, RB MiQuale Lewis is having a field day once he breaks through the line!

5-6 Jr. MiQuale Lewis (1108 yrds, 5.8 avg, 15 TD) has been a nightmare for opponents to find and reminds me of the great ISU Cyclone Troy Davis with more explosion and better hands out of the backfield. And considering Wally Szczerbiak’s alma mater ranks 95th in the nation in rushing yards allowed, I have feeling MiQuale might break the 200 yard barrier by the 3rd quarter. Throw-in the dangerous 5-7 Fr. Corey Sykes (389 yrds, 6.0 avg, 3 TD) for a couple touches a game, the mobility of QB Nate Davis, and eight players with double-digit catches, and the balance for Ball St. might be the best in the country and virtually unstoppable for Miami tonight.

Unfortunetly, Jeri Lee has more stars than Miami of Ohio!
BTW, I hear she also sports an extra toe...how frickin' cool is dat?!

Speaking of the (2-7) Redhawks, they lost by 33 at home to (2-7) Kent St. two weeks ago and lost at Buffalo by 20 last Tuesday night (TOUCH ME HERE and scroll down for last week’s scouting report on Miami-OH). With the season spiraling out of control, the coaching staff has turned things over to the youngsters in a desperate attempt to tell the alumni they’re rebuilding and developing the stars of tomorrow…yeah, not buying it. Especially w/ many of the veterans already checked-out on the season & a home-crowd that might be heckling their own squad by the 2nd quarter, and I just don’t see how they’ll have the focus needed to stop the vaunted Ball St. attack.

Just like her legs, the Cards balanced attack can split any D!

Now I know some of you think I’m acting like a BEEATCH by teasing this down, but considering I’ve won 67% of my Pigskin Teasers this year…suck it Homboys & Homegirls! The ova (teased to -46) seems like a given as Ball St. ranks 11th in the nation in scoring (38.3 ppg) and should crack at least 40 against a revamped & youthful Redhawks D. As a result, worse case scenario Miami just needs to score a TD & FG to cover the first half of our teaser, which shouldn’t be too hard with all the possessions Nate Davis & Co. will give them. Also, Miami has scored ova 17 pts the last three weeks & should get an additional boost late when the Cardinals pull their starters to prevent any further injuries with Cent. Michigan (5-0, 7-2) on the horizon. As a result, while I know MiQuale will run wild and break this thing open early, I keep picturing a 40-14 score late in the 4th when Miami grabs a garbage tally to make me thankful the gambling gods invented teasers.


Considering Bibby has struggled with the speed of Ben & Kirk, how you think he'll fare if asked to guard Derrick?

I know Vinny Del Scott Baio looks unbelievably overwhelmed and a 20 year-old has the keys to this thing, but the Bulls are catching a Hawks squad at the perfect time. Having unexpectedly opened 5-0, the Bulls grab a discount at the ATS-window even with ATL playing without their only true defensive presence around the basket in Josh Smith (out 2 to 4 weeks). And tonight, they hit-up snowy Chi-Town after only visiting warm-weather cities thus far, so expect a squad with the moniker Hot-Lanta to need a few quarters to loosen-up those legs to keep up with Derrick Rose (17.7 ppg, 5.1 apg, 46 fg%).

The weather won't be this warm or to the likings of ATL!
For more on the Bulls, other NBA games, & hotties...TOUCH ME HERE

Continue reading "Tuesday Night ATS Pigskin & Friendly Faces" »

November 12, 2008

Hump Day ATS Pigskin & Bikini Picks

NFL 14-12 - NCAA 16-9 - Teasers 13-6 - Happiness 70-0

For all the talk that Do-Everything Dan LeFevour might be held out tonight, Greggy G's sources say no MFin way!

Waking-up and expecting to see a line close to even, what is it about gambling-addicted cats like myself that cannot rejoice the unexpected points and would rather loath in the nervousness of how this could possibly be true? That being said, after polishing off a bloody & some Theraflu this morning, my mood changed as I remembered I’m 16 games ova .500 on the gridiron and one handsome MFer!

Just like LeFevour may have a brace on his ankle, Claudia has support on her's as well and she still looks great!

The (7-2) Chippewas are undefeated in the MAC, coming off a Bye Week, and will be getting Jr. QB Dan “Do-Everything” LeFevour back in the mix tonight (’07: passing - 3652 yards, 27 TD, 13 INT – rushing - 1122 yards 19 TD). While LeFevour opened the season in similar fashion and looked solid in road tests against Georgia & Purdue, he’s been slowed by an ankle injury of late missing two of the last three games. On a positive note, many of my insiders told me LeFevour could’ve started on Nov 1st at Indiana, but with a break in the MAC schedule and an off week to follow, Coach Butch Jones decided to save his superstar for their stretch run in conference.

While crafty Antonio Brown makes all the plays underneath, 6-5 Bryan Anderson is the one to watch-out for deep!

In LeFevour's absence, the Chippewas made the trip to Bloomington and left with a victory, confident they could play without their superstar, and proved to have an extremely solid back-up signal caller if needed (Sr. QB Brian Brunner at Indiana: 35-53 485 yards, 4 TD, 1 INT). While Brunner was exceptional, it definitely helps when you have stars on the outside in the sure-handed Antonio Brown (102 catches as a Fr. last year) and 6-5 Jr. Bryan Anderson (career: 209 rec & 20 TD), as well as, three other playmakers totaling 72 catches & 5 TD.

While Sneed has been laid-up at times, he's healthy tonight!

On the ground, while C. Michigan hasn’t put-up big numbers, their spread offense does a wonderful job of setting-up plenty of short-yard opportunities so the majority of attempts have been against a stacked-line. Sr. Ontario Sneed (5-11, 205) seems like he’s been a Chippewa for years, and while his career and parts of this season have been slowed by injuries, the duel-threat should look sharp tonight with the additional rest (Sneed’s 2005 & 2006 stats combined: 1829 rushing yrds & 12 TD – 103 receptions & 10 TD). Throw-in the fact both LeFevour & Sneed have somewhat of a homecoming tonight, and I expect the veteran-leaden offense to come-out fast & focused.

Don't be suprised to see the Chippewas dropping to a knee late against the so-called vaunted Northern D!

As for the Huskies D under new headmaster Jerry Kill, while they were considered one of the best in MAC, last Wednesday Night they were hammered on national TV by Ball St. (45-14). While not the same runner as LeFevour, Cardinal QB Nate Davis easily spread the ball around to his playmakers and was able to open things up even more with his mobility. The Huskies specialty is their pass-rush, but just like the crafty Nate Davis, watch for LeFevour to neutralize their push by rolling-out and dropping the ball off to his RBs.

Now before u head to the bank & close ur savings account...
I have more info on 2night's cold contest with the Huskies!

Continue reading "Hump Day ATS Pigskin & Bikini Picks" »

November 13, 2008

Thursday Night NFL ATS & Supermodel Pics

NFL 14-12 - NCAA 17-9 - Teasers 13-6 - Happiness 71-0
See my winners & hotties from...Monday - Tuesday - Hump Day
Or if you need some packing tips from Kobe Tai...TOUCH ME HERE

Luv him or hate him, would u rather invest on Grandpa Green Bay in inclement weather...

...or an inexperienced kid who spent his college days...

...chasing talented tail in weather like this!

Considering this off-season I joked Grandpa Favre should stay home & play Sudoku with his wife…and was been burned like Travis Henry every time a chick said she was on the pill when I’ve played against the Pats this season, I know I look like a hypocrite taking the Vicodin-powered signal-caller over the Hooded-Genius tonight, but this ain’t about me…this about ur opportunity to Make it Rain this weekend!

Just like our friend, Farve has looked solid even when wet!

To start, I know Brett had an awful NFC Championship game in what was supposed to be “Favre type weather”, but give me a break…that was a Witch’s Tit teased w/ ice cubs-cold! In general, while Favre’s normal mistakes look twice as bad in shitty weather, his experience & overall success (we talkin’ MFin wins!) is beyond legendary…even if he is inching closer to the AARP-discounted Wrangler jeans era. Tonight, it should be in the 40s w/ more likelihood for rain than the likelihood Jassie used some inhibitors before performing in “Old Geezers, Young Teasers” (BTW, I definitely recommend a google search of Jassie).

No matter how nice the 5 up-front look, u know they'd be happier w/ Brady's rich-azz behind them!

On the Pats side, while I’d categorize Mr. Cassell’s emergency performance this season as “almost” spectacular considering he hadn’t started a game since he was trying to impress young cheerleaders for Homecoming date, I’m guessing as the weather changes and the season progresses Matt will become more and more of liability. Thus far, along with the brilliantly-simple schemes the coaching staff implemented to ensure USC’s former clipboard-holder doesn’t put them in a position to lose, Cassell’s been extremely efficient managing the offense and turned the “check-down underneath” into an art form. That being said, the catalyst for Cassell & Billy Belichick’s reasonable success has been a patchwork backfield running between the tackles and behind an O-Line much more accustomed to pass-blocking.

Sure Farve is the sexy "Cougar"-type acquisition, but the biggest reason for Jet success has been big-bad Kris Jenkins!

Speaking of the Jets, looks like our favorite College Football fan is jumping on Greggy G's bandwagon for tonight!

But the biggest difference for the Pats rushing attack this week (the last 4 weeks they’ve faced some of the worst rush D’s in the league: #30 STL, #27 Denver, #24 Indy, & #15 Buffalo), they face a dominating DL anchored by the manchild Kris Jenkins and ranked #5 in the league against the rush, not to mention fuming with hatred for the Pats. Overall, NY is solid defensively and should look even better w/ the rain forcing an already ground-oriented attack to become even more one-dimensional. While I’m sure Cassell will give Randy of few shots deep, the quick-hits to Welker might be a little riskier w/ a slippery pigskin and will force the green-QB to make more “reads” than “scripted-throws.”

While Jones has been outstanding between the tackles, lil Leon is deadly on the outside like his Seminole days!

As for when the Mangini has the rock, while Favre’s downfield ability & unconventional style has opened things up and given a normally pedestrian-offense some life, the running game has become lethal with a revamped & massive O-Line and the contrasting styles of Thomas “Downhill” Jones (750 yrds, 4.7, 8 TD – 20 rec. TD) & Leon “Bounce-it-Out” Washington (222 yrds, 4.8, 2 TD - 22 rec. TD). While Belichick’s D is fundamental sound, without the luxury of an offense enabling them some rest, the veteran group looks gassed and should find the remaining schedule a little more taxing than in year’s past.

While media outlets are reporting Brett is COVERING-UP an injury, so is 90% of the league at this point!

While plenty of media outlets have reported Favre hasn’t looked as sharp and might be nursing an injury, I’d like to introduce you to my friend “Grandpa Possum”. Sure he’s banged-up, but if anything, that just means will see more emphasis on the ground attack and quick drops in the passing game before he opens things-up with play-action. With Coles & Cotchery looking more comfortable by the week with Favre and TE Dustin Keller (last week: 6 rec, 108 yrds, TD) realizing he can make a fortune by watching tapes of Bubba “Play action 3-yard TD” Franks and Mark “Will you go to prom with me?” Chmura, I expect the Jets to easily control the field-position battle tonight.

U know what 2 lil birds told me bout Vegas setting this line?

In closing, while the oddsmakers seem convinced Favre’s wildness...

Continue reading "Thursday Night NFL ATS & Supermodel Pics" »

November 14, 2008

Home of Greg MFin Gamble's Daily Luv

NFL 15-12 - NCAA 17-9 - Teasers 13-7 - Happiness 73-0

After dominating the gridiron to the tune of 4-1 ATS this week, I'm treating myself to a lil Friday Night Hardwood Action...Alize, Funjuns, & Spud Webb signed ATL Zubaz inlcuded. For my ridiculous NCAA & NFL picks, check back first thing tomorrow & Sunday Funday(or at least after the Bloody & Vicodin) for Teasin' T-Bone's & yours truely's Handicappers Delight!

U really think Diop & Dampier are gonna stop him?

Btw, is it wierd that everytime I think bout Dwight I picture Miranda, & everytime I think bout Miranda I picture Dwight?

I know he's a lot taller, stonger, & blacker, but they both have bout the same amout of body fat..u know what I mean?

I've never seen a team fall faster from the top than than Mark "I can't believe I traded Devin Harris for Jason Kidd.com" Cuban. Winless at home thus far and coming off last night's embarrassing performance in the Windy City against a clueless Bulls squad, and I expect Dirk & Co.to look tight & tired out the gate!

After pulling off the leggins from a trip to CHI, u think Dirk's looking forward to seeing a fresh freak named Dwight?

Hedu, Lewis, & Pietrus are perfect fits to space the floor for the big fella, while they also have the size and quickness to make teams pay when the close-out too fast. Especially against a slow squad without much athleticism in the frontcourt, and I'm guessing this thing gets ugly tonight!

Throw-in the most underrated coach in the league, Stan "The Hedgehog" Van Gudy, & this seems easier than Super Mario!

Final Score: MAGIC 108 MAVS 96

I'm chillin the rest of 2day fellas, but make sure to check back this weekend for more luv & affection from Inside Plays!

November 15, 2008


NCAA: 13-17 NFL: 8-6 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 10-7

To see Teasin’ T-Bone’s NCAA pick o’ tha day, TOUCH ME!

Did you see the hardcourt winna from Greggy G last night? It didn't involve Kirelinko, but it did involve bending over the competition!

Holy friggin’ Insideplays.com Batman!! For our loyal fans, you all know how much cabbage is flowin’ out from under your mattress if you have been riding the IP.com train all week. For those that haven’t, let me first recommend that you start, but secondly let me tell ya that we are 6-2 ATS and 3-0 Teasers!

A keg will do, but a bloody and the daily line is my thing. Think she likes a bloody?

The two losses were on the hardcourt, and you know that Teasin’ T-Bone rolls deep with the college hotties on Saturdays, so the only roundballs you’ll be seeing today will come in a package and be nicely placed on a coed. To read up on Greggy G’s mastery on Thursday if you CLICK RIGHT HERE ,for the rest just roll through our November archives on the right side of the page(you’ll notice that we believe in skin to win!!) And my insider connection tells me that Double G is all over is alma mater the IOWA STATE CYCLONES today at +27. With a Mizzou squad that had its mind set on a national title, and Chase having gone thru the hype of his last home game last week, I can't believe that the Tigers are actually pumped to travel to Ames to play a meaningless game. Go Clones!!

While looking forward is my belief, when you look back and reflect you will find things that make you smile!!!

To give you a feel for the diversity that Dr. Gamble and T-Bone can bring for you and your degenerative fancy, those wins were spread across the NFL, NCAA, and NBA in the form of ATS, Over/Under, and Teasers. Now that is what I like to call ‘studying the lines and finding the luv’. When you can combine scantily clad ladies with a plethora of winners, why not grab a bloody and dig in??? What else do you have to do?

With the college season winding down, I was very happy to see a make up non-conference game in the SEC between Troy and LSU.


November 16, 2008


NCAA: 13-18 NFL: 8-6 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 10-8

Go straight to Teasin’ T-Bone’s NFL pick o’ tha day, TOUCH ME!

Here kitty kitty. Looks like she covers about as well as my college picks yesterday...not very friggin' well!

Welcome to Sunday Funday in the land of InsidePlays, where the men are men and the sheep are nervous! If you checked in with us yesterday you will know that our streak of daily winners ended. There isn’t one person that would have guessed that LSU would be down by 21 going into the 4th against Troy, but hey, I’m not bitter. It just meant one more drink to make the pain go away.(btw, I had a hair and went with Black Velvet, my body is screaming at me this morning)

She knows what Sunday Funday is all about!

But today is a new day, and Sundays have been a day when any bookie hasn’t been very fond of InsidePlays. Combined Greggy G and I have a 23-18 ATS record and I am an amazing 6-0 on NFL teasers. I know that Greggy is all over Jacksonville at +3 for three reasons. First, J-ville is getting desperate, sitting with 5 losses, they know that a 6th all but eliminates their hopes to play in January. Second, the Titans have a meeting with Favre and his Jets, looking ahead could be a problem today. And third, can Kerry Collins really keep the Titans undefeated? He has to run out of luck or at least jump back on the booze train at some point, doesn’t he?

Dear Kerry, I have found your glass slipper, time to get back to reality. Hugs and Kisses, Audrina

As for Teasin’ T-Bone, I’m riding the fact that nothing has changed for the Lions and that Kurt Warner continues to defy reality. To read on, click below.


November 17, 2008

Monday Night ATS Pigskin Picks & Pics

NFL 15-13 - NCAA 17-10 - Teasers 13-7 - Happiness 75-0

Cuban busted for Insider Trading? If he used any insider info when trading for J-Kidd that source should be fired!

Lovie's answers are making matters worse in Chi-Town!

Following last Sunday’s loss to the Titans, numerous Bear defenders responded to specific breakdowns by the defense with: “That’s where I was supposed to be” or “Talk to the Coaching Staff”. The following Monday at Lovie’s press-conference, when asked about the players complaints regarding the defensive scheme, Lovie acted as if the reporters made-up the claim and stated that nobody on the team disagreed with the scheme. And then yesterday, as the Packers marched up-n-down the field with ease, multiple shots showed Urlacher shaking his head as he walked into the huddle while the secondary seemed happy to conceded every completion underneath. Just like I father can pretend it’s not his fault his daughter rides a pole for employment, Lovie's lying to himself and making matters worse by subtly throwing his players under the bus!

While she likes to Cover-Two, the Bears players do not!

I know the anchor of the D-Line, Tommie Harris, has been absolutely invisible while Urlacher still hasn’t figured-out how to shed a block, but please, the Bears pass defense ranks 30th in the league and every player claims they’re in the right position when asked about a specific scoring play. In my opinion, Lovie has his head in the sand and doesn’t seem to realize over the last few years teams have adjusted to the Cover-2 (Tampa-2). And let’s not forget who the fiery leader of the D was when the Bears went to the Super Bowl…Ron Rivera.

The biggest reason for the Bears defensive downfall...Lovie's ego couldn't handle all the luv Ronny Rivera was getting!

Instead of utilizing Rivera’s talents, Lovie felt the beloved former Bear was taking too much credit and wanted to prove he was the mastermind of the D and promoted his ole fishing buddy Bob “Lovie’s Puppet” Babich. I know they're still in the playoff hunt and have the luxury of playing the hapless-Rams next week, but trust me on this, the Bears are falling faster than Paris Hilton in a hotel room and I don’t see how things can get resolved when the coaches & players are pointing fingers at each other. With that, let's make some MFin $$$!

Sitting at home with a Teaser can be lots o fun!


*The lines have moved since this morning as the weather conditions change...and after Vegas receives their daily Greg Gamble email.

I expect the weather to slow both Quinn & Edwards 2night

To start, the combination of two struggling teams in must-win situations & lousy weather conditions, means we’ll see some conservative game-plans for two teams ranked in the bottom third of points scored per game. While Brady’s numbers looked solid in his first start, there was a reason Romeo (or should I say GM Phil Savage & the fans) started the Golden Domer last week…Denver's defense is frickin’ atrocious! Tonight, they face a displined Bills D (ranked 13th overall) that should be fired-up for Monday Night and will have a great 12th man if Mother Nature cooperates for Greggy G (50% chance of snow/rain).

Unlike our friend, the Bills offense is lacking confidence!

While the Browns defense has given-up a ton of yards, they’ve actually kept teams out of the endzone (26th in yards allowed, 15th in points) and should benefit from Buffalo’s offense lacking confidence of late. With one of the largest offensive lines in football and Marshawn Lynch, the Bills were supposed to have a lethal rushing attack, but surprisingly, rank 29th in ypc (3.6) and have been even worse of late (90 total rushing yards the last two games). Considering the O-Line has been lousy in pass protecting and they have limited weapons at WR (Josh Reed-out), the Bills offense is simpler than a Pee Wee League team and should be even more conservative with the crappy conditions.

I expect Mr. Winslow to have a nice game tonight!

As for why I like the Browns, (KEEP READING & DROOLING)

Continue reading "Monday Night ATS Pigskin Picks & Pics" »

November 18, 2008

Daily ATS Sports Banter & Friendly Figures

NFL 15-14 - NCAA 17-10 - Teasers 13-7 - Happiness 76-0
To skip to my ATS BULLS/LAKERS Preview...TOUCH ME HERE

Before we get to Aaron Gray & Joakim Noah trying to stop Paul Gasol and this cat tonight...

...I found two other lil hidden gems to show ya!

While I’ve been on fire in the MAC of late, tonight’s N.Illinois/Kent St. tilt just doesn’t jump off the page at me like usual…especially since it won’t be televised. Kent St. (+3) has a ridiculous duel rushing attack with QB Julian Edelman (1095 yards, 6.2 avg, 13 TD) and 5-5 Jr. Eugene Jarvis (’07 stats: 1669 yards, 6.0 avg, 10 TD).

Lil 5-5 Eugene Jarvis makes Sonic the Hedgehog look slow!

While Jarvis missed plenty of action during the opening of MAC play and is the main reason the Golden Flashes season has been a disappointment, his return has sparked the (3-7) squad, highlighted by last week’s phenomenal 221 yard performance (185 rushing, 36 receiving). Even against the stout Husky D, I expect more of the same.

Just like our friend, while Northern Illinois is young, their starting to look better and better in Husky black!

On the flipside, after a slow start & adjusting to a new headmaster, N. Illinois (5-5) has finally shown signs of life on offense as the underclassmen have stepped-up their game. Last week against conference leading C. Michigan, the Huskies outscored the Chippewas 27-7 in the second half before losing in OT. Tonight, they face a horrible Kent St. defense that has allowed an average of 35 ppg ova their last seven contests. Lucky for them & possibly the ova tonight, the Golden Flashes usually keep pace as they've averaged 31 ppg ova that same span. While the ova/unda at 50 seems enticing, the Huskies D has been extremely solid & the cold weather tonight might slow things even more. As a result & without further ado, I give you a brand new Greggy G segment…


The combination of teasing young college kids with NBA tattoos makes perfect sense to me!


I don't care if I remind you of Denise Richards...I'm doin it!

Call me a BEEATCH if you like (just like Denise Richards, I don't care what other people think), but I’ve decided to tease the Unda (44) with the Cleveland Cavaliers (-2) at New Jersey. The 8-2 Cavs look determined early-on to prove their the Beast of East and have the luxury of Bobby Simmons & Jarvis Hayes trying to stop King James tonight. Speaking of Bron-Bron, you think he’ll be pumped to showcase his skills for the fans he’ll be playing for in a few years (80% chance partial owner Jay-Z is the front-row 2night)?.

You really think Bobby Simmons & Jarvis Hayes will stop this?

The Nets on the other hand, besides the rapidly aging Vinsanity, they’ve completely retooled their roster (clearing space for the King's arrival) and are still trying to figure out how all their pieces mesh (Devin Harris, Yi Jianlian, Keyon Dooling, rookies Brook Lopez & Ryan Anderson, etc.). I could go on, but I have a Bulls/Lakers ATS Preview that seems to good to be true!

Continue reading "Daily ATS Sports Banter & Friendly Figures" »

November 19, 2008

Daily NFL, NCAA, NBA, & Hotness Picks

NFL 15-14 - NCAA 17-10 - Teasers 14-7 - Happiness 77-0
To skip to my NBA ATS & Bikini Picks...PLEASE TOUCH ME HERE

Before we discuss how Chucky's gonna destory BOOBinelli & the Lions Sunday, we have some MAC action to play tonight!

Just like I was amazed the writers from the orginal-90210 decided to kill-off my main Jergens partner Rebeeca Gayheart (aka the Noxema Girl aka I want to hump the sofa after watching her in Urban Legend), even converting a 67% clip on Teasers, I’m amazed how many of my gambling constituents have told me they simply refuse to Tease. Especially in cases like tonight’s contest where the MAC Championship is on the line between C. Michigan & Ball St. (-7), I’m confident I know who will win, but just like most girls, I’m afraid of the back-end cover. Nothing is worse than scouting a game, watching your proclamations come true, but losing on a last second TD as your coach doesn’t understand it’s not about winning…it’s about covering the points.

Just like how much easier it would if they were smaller, it's easier to cover a spread once you tease it down!

For example, let’s say Ball St. is up 13 midway thru the 4th tonight & starts dropping their safeties to prevent a quick score. Next thing you know, Dan “Do-Everything” LeFevour finds the endzone w/ two minutes to go and your left telling your girl X-Mas is canceled this year. In my humble, correct opinion, nothing beats teasing a game down so you can simply pick the winner. And tonight, all I need is Nate Davis (68%, 20 TD, 6 INT), Mighty Mouse RB MiQuale Lewis (1273 ryrds, 5.9 avg, 17 TD), and an undefeated defense ranked 50 spots higher than the turnstile Chippewa D. I know this game is in Mt. Pleasant and the place will be rockin', but I just can’t see how a team so reliant on LeFevour’s legs (who’s missed 2 of his last 4 games because of ankle injuries) can pull-off the upset in these cold-azz conditions.

While they miss Dante Love's playmaking ability, he's been the inspiration that has brought them to another level!

Just look at their last common opponent, N. Illinois. After opening strong, C. Michigan needed OT to beat the pesky Huskies, the week prior, Ball St. put a 31-point pasting on them. And as mentioned at nausea, the unblemished Cards are not just playing for a national ranking & a spot in the record books, their playing for a fallen teammate. Dante Love, who ignored NFL overtures and retuned to school after 100 catches in ’07, had a career-ending spinal injury in the 4th game this year, and has now become the inspiration of a team with a special bond & special dreams. While Love won’t physically aid in tonight’s contest, trust me, he’s one of the main reasons they’ve looked unbelievably focused and have won by an average of 27 ppg since the incident. Not even the gambling gods will f*ck with that…well, if you tease it of course. As a result, I’m teasing Ball St down to -1 with…

TEASERS...preventing backend covers for years!


Trust me…Chucky’s crazy eyes don’t overlook anybody. The Bucs have not clinched shiznit of yet and are only a week removed from a Bye Week that rejuvenated their playoff passion push. Throw-in RB Warrick Dunn looking to prove he can still be a feature back with the season-ending injury to Earnest Graham, and I expect the tough Tampa squad to absolutely pound the worst the team in football. Rod BOOBinelli’s hapless squad ranks dead last in rushing defense (ranked 2nd to last overall) and has actually played worse at home as the fan base openly mocks the squad & treats the afternoon like a comedy show. Considering the players know BOOBinelli is the most lame-duck coach in NFL history, the players are already looking towards the off-season and begging their agents to get them out of Dodge…or Ford for that matter (damn my azz clever).

Would you even be suprsied if BOOBinelli worked the sideline of Sunday with pink polka-dotted panties on his head?

Topping things off, the Lions made one of the most idiotic moves a few weeks ago signing and starting Dante Culpepper…and let’s not even discuss the fact that he’s not any good anymore. Detroit has two young QBs (Drew Stanton & Dan Orlovsky), is playing for nothing, and if they were actually correct in thinking Dante could help them win games, might have screwed-up their draft position. Basically, that just sums-up how stupid this organization is. Not much else to say because I’m probably taking the Lions -8.5 as well, but teasing Tampa to unda a FG seems easier than rounding second base after telling a freshman sorority girl you love her and enables me to watch tonight’s contest without worrying about the points!

With that, let's hit-up some NBA Action & more Hotties!

Continue reading "Daily NFL, NCAA, NBA, & Hotness Picks" »

November 20, 2008

Thursday Night NFL ATS Magic & Hotness

NFL 15-14 - NCAA 17-10 - Teasers 14-7 - Ladies 77-0
For yesterday's NFL Sunday Teaser Special...TOUCH ME HERE

You think QB Ryan Fitzpatrick saw anybody like this when he was tossing around the pigskin in the Ivy League?

Besides maybe seeing a few ladies w/ similar hair, I don't think anything about this snowy trip to PITT will be similar!

With a defense that thrives on demoralizing opponents like Rocco Siffredi in Animal Trainer and an offense that has dominated but struggled in the red zone, I expect Pittsburgh to make a statement tonight with nothing else on the NFL docket and all their comrades watching. Unlike Tony LaRussa passed out at a stoplight, the Steelers won’t take their foot off the peddle, especially in front of the home-crowd and with Coach Omar Epps roaming the sideline like Kevin Garnett after throwing one into the seats.

Just like her smile in the whites, the Steelers are one of the few teams smiling when the snowy white flakes are falling!

Last week, the Steelers marched up-n-down the field and out gained the Lightning Bolts by almost 200 yards, but somehow only managed 11 points in their controversial victory. Big Ben was Ty Detmer at BYU-efficient completing over 75% and throwing for 308 yards, while Fast Willie played through a shoulder injury to rush for 115 yards. At Epps’s press-conference this week, he stated Parker was “doing fine”, but don’t be surprised to see plenty of carries for scatback Mewelde Moore and some in-between the tackles carries for Gary Russell.

Not many offensive ballers lined-up on the outside are delivering the punishment on Game Day like Hines MFin Ward!

As for Roethlisberger’s weapons, Hines Ward (53 rec, 681 yrds) continues to prove he’s the toughest WR outside of Anquan Boldin, sprinter Santonio Holmes (34 rec, 482) looks healthy and is overdue for a huge night, Nate Washington (23 rec, 17.1 avg) always finds a favorable match-up as the 3rd wide-out, and 6-5, 260 lb. TE Health Miller should be itching to contribute after missing the last two games. Throw-in the dump-off abilities of Mewelde out of the backfield (27 rec) and the emergence of 6-7, 270 lb. TE Matt Spaeth in Miller’s absence (last two games: 12 rec, 108 yrds), and I expect the Steelers to put-up at least 30 points against the league’s 20th ranked defense.

Without a running game, Fitzpatrick will be laid-out like this tonight...but probably not looking this happy about it!

Speaking of the Bengals, while last week’s draw against the Eagles might be the highlight of their season, a short week for Harvard’s Ryan Fitzpatrick against Dick LeBeau’s aggressive D is recipe for disaster. Especially considering the Bengals rushing attack ranks 30th and is highlighted by Cedric “Boat Drinks” Benson (last week: 23 carries, 1.8 avg.), look for the Steelers to tee-off on the young Ivy Leaguer giving us the luxury of seeing Carson’s lil brother (Jordan Palmer) by the 4th quarter. In Fitz’s last road start, he threw two INTs and fumbled once against a paltry-Texans D in a 35-6 blowout. But what do I know…maybe he’ll look better in-front of the riled-up Steeler fans in shitty weather facing the league’s nastiest D.

Don't worry about Ocho Douche-Bag tonight...
...he's not playing. TOUCH ME HERE TO FIND OUT WHY!!!

Continue reading "Thursday Night NFL ATS Magic & Hotness" »

November 21, 2008

Home of Picks of ATS Greatness & Hotties

NFL 16-14 - NCAA 17-10 - Teasers 14-7 - Ladies 78-0
Make sure to check out my Homeboy T-Bone's ATS luv all weekend!

Not only did Darnell Jefferson steal the show as a freshman, the Coach of Pitt also knew I needed that late TD last night!

*Check me out w/ Teasin' T-Bone tomorrow for NCAA Pigskin Luv

Just like these three, I give you my Lethal Weapon ATS three!
*Sorry to be so brief, but I'm interviewing w/ Reinsdorf...he's pissed Paxon's had ten years of a gazillion Top-10 picks & still rebuilding!

Somebody's starting to remeber how to run!

No matter how bad Jauron's pissing this season down his leg, they're still in the playoff hunt and will be facing the Chiefs 32nd ranked D...watch Marshawn stiff-arm his way to an easy victory.

Besides this, what's more perfect than Peyton getting points against a horrendous D?

Eli's bro is still trying to make the playoffs & getting three pts aginst the league's 27th ranked D...plus Norv still coaches the Lightning Bolts!

Is it me, or does Favre's ole coach look tired of football?

Holmgrem's just counting the days till retirement while the DC boys are desperate for a win and facing the leagues 28th ranked D...you catching my theme yet?

What's better...your girlfriend having a tongue like this or Greg Gamble's NBA Picks?

So I'm guessing you want more HOTTIES & my Friday Night Picks

Continue reading "Home of Picks of ATS Greatness & Hotties" »

November 22, 2008


NCAA: 13-18 NFL: 9-6 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 11-8

Teasin' T-Bone provides the pearl necklace, and my lovely ladies wear them, sounds good to me!!

With many big games on the slate today, I was itching to get going yesterday so I thought I would press my luck, needless to say that Fresno has provided me with the ability to go all out today AND still upgrade to wine out of a bottle!! I have so many thoughts for you today that I just have to dive right in….and stay tuned for the whole thing cuz there are two surprises today, a special teaser pick from Greggy and our new capper Kool Kash Killmer, and secondly, more nipples than a friggin’ mama pig!

The Hawks are a bit sneaky, but they always get their hands on what they want....excuse me, is that Floyd the Pig or is that your sweater kitten?

Iowa -6 @ Minnesota
Professor Ferentz is on the verge of saving his job by putting the Hawks into a New Years bowl with a win today. But don’t let the fact that they are highly motivated talk you into this one…let Shonn Greene do tha talkin’. The man has rushed for over 100 yds in every game this year, has 15 tuddies, and is giving the Hawks a mere 6.2 yds every time he touches the ball. We all know that Shonn is a great back, but I believe what has made him even better is the mid season development of Ricky Stanzi, proving that Iowa can get the job done offensively when they have a QB that just plays solid. He completes 59% of his passes, but most importantly he doesn’t make the stupid throw. Plus he was born in a town called Mentor, if that town doesn’t breed leaders than I don’t know what does.

Yeah, Yeah, you've seen her before, but really, does it ever get old?

As for the Gophers, I feel like I’m in the middle of my 12th year of groundhog day. Has anyone ever seen Minnesota jump out to a 6 or 7 win start against the cellar of the NCAA only to fall on their face midway through the Big 10 season? Yeah, me to. The Gophers have dropped 3 in a row, and it just so happens that all 3 of them have yielded less than 100 yds on the ground, that ain’t gonna change today against what I believe is gonna be the toughest front 4 they have seen all year. Iowa only gives up 94 yds a game on the ground when they are away from Kinnick Stadium, and I simply don’t think they will let Deleon Eskridge do anything close to that, especially when he only avgs 64 a game. Hawks win by two tuddies today.

This is just the beginning, so click below for 5 more games!!


November 23, 2008


NCAA: 16-18 NFL: 9-6 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 11-9

Go straight to Teasin’ T-Bone’s NFL PICK O’THA DAY!
Go straight to Greggy G’s NFL WINNERS!


I realized something this morning fellas. Not only are the weekends(real men start the weekend on Thursday night!) great because most of us get a break from the daily grind, but they are also great because InsidePlays treats you and your monopoly money like you are friggin’ gold. Going into today IP.com has brought you an an NFL win, 2 NBA wins, 1 NBA push, 2 NCAA football wins, and an NCAA teaser win(congrats to Kool Kash Killmer on the picks, you have earned your official IP.com PHD, welcome to the group, Dr.). The only loss that you have seen from us is my teaser loss yesterday, and I should’ve known that Sparty was gonna get eaten alive in Happy Valley.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned....

And I would like to post a formal apology to all of our fans out there who happen to luv sports, gambling, and insideplays.com, but aren’t very fond of full frontal naked ladies. My article yesterday included a couple ladies that forgot to cover up(if you didn’t see it, you can CLICK HERE to view, cuz they are awesome!), and it is my intent and the intent of IP.com to provide you some great sports banter along with handicapping while viewing ladies that provide some mystery and creative thought. It is not the intent to become a porn site(even though I did appreciate the shout outs from our Florida clientel), so get ready to call sharky and look at some scantily clad hotties, heeeerrrreeee we go!!

Penn St. studied up yesterday, T-Bone studied up today.

NY Giants -3.5 @ Arizona Cardinals


November 24, 2008

Monday Night ATS Magic & Heavenly Bodies

NFL 18-14 - NCAA 17-10 - Teasers 16-7 - Ladies 82-0
To skip my Pigskin Luv & head to my NBA Pick...TOUCH ME HERE

Watching Fat Pants lose to Cuse was way too much fun!

Talk about a perfect morning…no barking from the dog, no smog, my girl cooked breakfast w/ plenty of hog, I remembered I was 5-0-1 ATS this weekend (not to mention Teasin’ T-Bone was nearly perfect as well), and my fantasy squad includes TO, Randy Moss, & Michael Turner! And even better for the degenerate compadres that jumped on my bandwagon, you didn’t have to do the painstaking ATS research and you don’t have to send me a thank you card...simply spread the word of Insideplays.com! With that, let’s hit-up some Monday Night magic to keep this thing rolling like Kirstie Alley through the buffet line.

Her name is Bree, she's wearing Saints gold, and she's laid-out like a WR...if that's not a sign, I don't know what is!

I know that Saints season has been more inconsistent than Heather Locklear’s psyche, but through all the BS, they still lead the league in yards from scrimmage, while only trailing the Packers by 23 ypg in team defense. QB Drew Brees (67%, 18 TD, 11 INT) has been brilliant this season, and while everybody knows the Pack have two solid cover corners (Charles Woodson & Al Harris), they don’t have much depth in the secondary and should struggle with the three, four, & five WR-sets they’ll see at nausea tonight.

Because of Lance Moore & Jeremy Shockey underneath, Devery Henderson is making big-time plays downfield!

Especially with the unique atmosphere in the Superdome where the Saints have only lost once this season, Sean Payton won’t waste anytime getting the pigskin down the field. The AARP duo of Harris & Woodson are overly aggressive and will not have same effectiveness on the speedy surface as they have on the frozen tundra. With lil Lance Moore (52 rec, 5 TD) and the TE combo of Jeremy Shockey & Billy Miller (58 rec.) utilizing Brees accuracy on intermediate routes, things have opened-up on the outside for Henderson’s sprinter speed (25.2 avg, 3 TD) and the jump-ball abilities of the 6-4 Colston (16.8 avg).

Just like dat tat, Pierre's been a hidden gem for the Saints!

While Kim Kardashian’s boy-toy will probably miss tonight’s game, RB Pierre Thomas has surprised plenty with his strength between the tackles (4.6 ypc), while becoming a legitimate threat out of the backfield in the passing game (last 2 games: 9 catches, 90 yards). Throw-in the veteran presence of Deuce McAllister looking to prove he can still play and a Packer run defense ranked near the bottom, and I expect the Saints to move the ball with ease tonight.

The Packers always seem to play better when all the fans are wearing winter jackets!

As for when the Packers have the ball, I can’t tell a lie, I fully expect Green Bay to move the ball and put plenty of points on the board. That being said, Rodgers has struggled at times on the road this season and lost his last two away from Lambeau completing only 55% of his passes. With both teams desperate for a win to stay in the playoff race, I expect the Superdome noise to cause Favre’s understudy some problems so expect Green Bay to run early and often with Ryan Grant & Brandon Jackson. But like most teams playing in the Superdome and the wildness on Monday Night, don’t be surprised to find the Packers throwing more & more as the game wears-on leading to a few costly turnovers.

How will the Packers handle the party atmosphere in New Orleans...I suggest CLICKING HERE to find out!

Continue reading "Monday Night ATS Magic & Heavenly Bodies" »

November 25, 2008

Tuesday Night Pigskin, NBA, & Bikini Picks

NFL 19-14 - NCAA 17-10 - Teasers 16-8 - Ladies 84-0

Will the Huskies be able to stop FB Eric Kettani?

Does our friend look flawless in yellow...Hell MFin yeah!

Just like the definition of a "Confident Adult Star" has a picture of Allie Sin (how do you not luv star tattoos giving directions to someone's happy places?), the definition of a "Trap-Game" is whomever plays Army or Navy the week prior to the final Commander-in-Chief's Trophy clash between the two squads. Throw-in President Bush’s announcement that he’ll be in attendance and the fact Navy is halfway to the Trophy after beating Air Force, and my guess is the Midshipmen have no desire to head to the middle of Illinois to play the Huskies.

Just like our friend, Navy has two perfect options under center, but for some reason, they're going w/ the youngster!

While Navy’s had a solid season (6-4) following the departures of option-guru Paul Johnson (GTech), they have not gone on the road in well over a month & will be trotting-out their 3rd QB of the season. Last year’s star Sr. Kobe-Tai Kaheaku-Enhada has be hampered by a hamstring injury all season, and while his replacement Sr. Jarod Bryant has been solid, w/ the Midshipmen already scheduled to play in the Eagle Bank Bowl, the new staff believes it's more important to prep for ’09 and will turn things over to So. Ricky Dobbs tonight.

What can I say Carolyn, I'm shocked by the move too!

Dobbs is considered to have a much better arm than most that have traveled thru the program recently, but he was only 2 of 8 in their loss to Notre Dame ten days ago & rushed for a measly 27 yards on 13 carries. While Dobbs showed some nice touch a week earlier against Temple, playing under-the-lights in the cold tundra known as DeKalb might be a lil too much to ask…especially considering it seems the Huskies have played every game in this season on a weeknight.

Even though I think the Huskies will handle the Navy attack, that doesn't mean I don't luv lil Shun White!

While both Sr. signal-callers may see time tonight and have a bevy of rushing options behind & circling around them, the Huskies run defense is stout and coming off a dominating performance (W 42-14) against a Kent State team ranked 12th in the nation on the ground. The Midshipmen will rely heavily on lil Shun White (873 yrds, 8.4 avg, 7 TD) & FB Eric Kettani (715 yrds, 5.4 avg) tonight, but both were held in check versus Notre Dame and look pretty beat-up from four years of pounding. While they’ll move the chains tonight, look for Northern to stall plenty of Navy’s drives near midfield.

Just like our friend, Northern's QB looked distraught early...

...but now, he's rolling like Greggy G on Sunday Funday!

As for the Huskies on offense, under new headmaster Jerry Kill the Huskies have gained momentum over the 2nd half of the season and found a nice duel-threat QB in freshman Chandler Harnish. Last week Harnish was 12-19 for 173 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT and rushed for 117 yards & two more scores. And as mentioned, having started the last three weeks on a weeknight, I expect the underclassman to look even more comfortable tonight. While Northern doesn’t have the superstars at the skill positions, they have plenty of depth and should find a few big plays against the undersized Navy secondary and some holes behind an improving offensive line.


Just like her LEGS, it's been a LONG time since Ball St. has played in a bigger game than this!

ATTENTION!!! For Ball St. vs. W. Michigan & my NBA Picks Update

Continue reading "Tuesday Night Pigskin, NBA, & Bikini Picks" »

November 26, 2008

ATS Pigskin & Hotness Picks for Turkey Day

NFL 19-14 - NCAA 17-11 - Teasers 17-8 - Ladies 86-0

How funny...the Tuna has the same feelings as Boobinelli's players...

* Seriously Homeboys, for all the hate-mail I receive for being a so-called “Pussinator” for playing teasers (Phillip from Australia, thanks for that friendly moniker), this is not about finding luv at the Senior Prom, this is about calling upon the underclassman with a back-tat to ensure your night is enjoyable. I’ve covered 68% of my teasers this season and apologize to nobody for taking advantage of the Gambling Gods decision to allow me some free points…plus, teasers also make it much easier for me to write-up a caption for my gratuitous photos!

Because Teasing Two is always better than One!

As for my the my sexy senorita Teasin' T-Bone's luv for Thanksgiving, he's all ova the TITANS/LIONS OVA 44 ...and from what he told me from his new Hummer (or maybe the ol MiniVan), DET couldn't stop a handicapped nun from rushing for 100! Throw-in a Dante led offense playing flag-football for 60 min, and he'd be shocked if they don't score 50 before u finish ur shit-azz appetizers.

DET will be thinkin bout headin to the showers by the 2nd!

Skeptics will tell you the Titans might have a letdown on a short-week after their dream of an undefeated season was destroyed by Grandpa Favre, but what I’ll tell you is the Titans, who rarely have the national spotlight, will be psyched to showcase their skills like Allie Sin in her 1st cameo w/ Peter North in the cinematic classic North Pole #53. Especially with the 21-pt spanking they received at home last week, I expect the nasty attitudes of TEN to thrive regaining their moxy against a team in absolute freefall and playing for a lame-duck coach.

While C. Johnson & his 4.2 40-time will look even faster in-doors, LenDale has some anger built-up to do some damage!

Making matters even worse, the Lions rank dead-last in rushing defense and are a facing a lethal ground attack with an angry tailback. While rookie Chris Johnson’s ridiculous speed will look even faster on Ford Field (833 yrds, 4.5 avg), the thunder aspect of Fisher’s dual attack (LenDale White - 11 TD) was furious following Sunday’s loss after carrying the ball only once & will be psyched to rough-up the Lions. Considering the lil & old Warrick D rushed for 90 yards on only 14 carries last week, I’m predicting Johnson rushes for 120 while White chips in at least 60 as he pounds a weak D-Line late.

While Kerry Collins was knee-deep in trouble as a youngster, he's become a leader the Titans youngsters can follow!

Early in his career you never knew if Kerry would be drinking Jack Daniels between games and inevitably put-up a stinker, but now, the Penn Stater takes nothing for granted and knows his opportunities to be a starting signal-caller in the NFL are numbered. As a result, the Titans are seeing a confident leader preparing each week like he’s Peyton Manning. And what better way to resurrect his career than in a play-action, short-passing system with tall, possession receivers that perfectly mesh with his abilities. Especially playing against a “supposed” defensive coach completely embarrassed to have the worst rush D in the league, watch the former drunk exploit a weak secondary as Rod BOOBinelli puts eight-in-the-box all day.

Sorry to hate, but If it weren't for Randy, the Lions would never have thought about signing Dante Culpepper!

Speaking of the biggest coaching embarrassment since Marty Mornhingweg, BOOBinelli has completely lost this team and every player is screaming at their agent to get them the f*ck out of town. Especially after last week’s meltdown after leading 17-0 before losing 38-20 to the Bucs, it was apparent the inmates aren’t even trying to run the asylum…their simply waiting for their time in Detroit to expire. I could go on and tell you how idiotic it is to play an aging Canadian League-quality QB who has a worse QB-rating & comp-% than their youngsters, but why bother, I already told you about this last week.

Final Score: TITANS 30 LIONS 13
* I know this prediction makes for a Titans cover, but as mentioned, nuttin’ ruins a Thanksgiving Feast more than a backend cover…so why even risk it when you have a lil gem like this to pair it with?!
***BTW, even though my score doesn't show it, the great Teasin' T luvs the OVA in this one...and considering I'm only sober enough to research one aspect of the game, maybe you should trust him!

My Teaser is so pretty you might as well just kick-up your feet and relax on Turkey Day!

Once again, those drunk-azz skeptics are around to tell you the Seahawks have battled of late, but considering they lost their last two at home in somewhat heartbreaking fashion...

Continue reading "ATS Pigskin & Hotness Picks for Turkey Day" »

November 28, 2008


NFL 19-14 - NCAA 17-11 - Teasers 18-8 - Ladies 87-0
How bout my Turkey Day Madness...talk bout being right on!

LeSean McCoy might not cutback to a victory versus the Mountaineers, but he'll cutback enough to cover 9.5!

Like Najah Davenport pooping in a closet (that story never gets old), Hugh Grant stopping for directions from a lady in heels, and Paris Hilton slobbin-on-bob in a hotel room, I'm frickin' madly addicted to teasers right now. Maybe it's my ridiculous success rate (18-8...69% dude!), maybe's it's how the word teaser rolls off your tongue when your calling your guy from the garage, whatever it is, it's enabling me to pay my nanny without using a credit card lately...

This is how WV's LBers will look once LeSean makes his cut!

While T-Bone tried to talk me out of it (Teasin' T-Bone kinda likes W. Virginia and absolutely loves Central Michigan -10 today) and I rarely invest on a Wanny coached squad, considering this is street-fight type of rivalry I'll take the home dog with six extra points from the gambling gods because of the tease. While Pat White & Co. looked awesome last week & paid my water bill, Pitt's 24th in the nation at stopping the run and has one of the best LBers in country in Scott McKillop. On offense, Jr. QB Bill Stull won't be playing on Sundays, but he's smart & has some weapons on the outside to loosen things-up for the freakshow known as McCoy. That's all I got since this thing starts early!


While she doesn't look like my fat friend Damian, they both have a piece of my heart. As for why I mentioned D (aka Da Cougar), he luvs the unda in the WV/PITT match-up and luvs a shout out!

I'll take the one on the left...and I'll take the Miners!

As for the 2nd part of my tease...TOUCH ME HERE

Continue reading "ATS & BIKINI LUV FROM UR HOMEBOY" »


NCAA: 16-18 NFL: 11-6 Teasers 12-9

Go straight to Teasin’ T-Bone’s NCAA PICK O’THA DAY!

Time to suck it up and dig in, cuz pretty soon Playstation football will be the only way to get our pigskin high!!

It is yet another Saturday in football land today fellas, and although your belly is over filled, calorie intake is off the charts, and the beer fridge is empty, we are very thankful today to say that the pigskin action is only half over for the weekend!! So it is time to pop a pill and start in on your morning bloody, cuz you wouldn’t want to waste a perfectly good Thanksgiving Saturday being hung over, would you?

I know it was a rough day of booze and pigskin yesterday, but my friend Nicole Scherzinger still knows how to look pretty on the outside while churning on the inside, time to follow suit cowboy!!

If you didn’t latch onto my picks last weekend like a newborn/mommy teet combo, then all I can say is that insideplays brought you the nectar all weekend long. Not only did Greggy G go 5-0-1, Teasin’ T-Bone gave you a 4-1 performance(not to mention an undefeated Turkey Day, CLICK HERE to witness the writing on the wall). I think it is time for a repeat performance….
I know our cowgirl Jenn Sterger is partial to the Seminoles, but I think it is obvious that she is open to anything that involves the state of Florida...

Miami -1.5 @ NC State
I knew that this line was going to draw me in today...

Continue reading "HOME OF SPORTS TALK & ATS PICKS" »


NFL: 11-6 NCAA: 16-19 Teasers 13-9

Skip to my NFL Teaser Picks RIGHT HERE!

Detox and a warm shower, gotta luv Mondays!

But today ain't Monday homeys, it's Sunday Mutha F**kin' Funday. My degenerate ways have left me with a hangover and some mysterious shaking in my hands that I don’t want to admit to. And since I have had several days off work to solidify my plays for today, I’m just gonna dig right in today, much like Kobe Tai(Watch how Kobe packs for vacation RIGHT HERE!) in my all time favorite, Executions on Butt Row.

Peyton has had 2 options on each side all year.

Indianapolis -5 @ Cleveland

Today is a tale of two teams headed in completely different directions…the Colts are back on the winning track knocking off 4 in a row(3 of those coming against the Patriots, Steelers, and Chargers) with a healthy Peyton and his wide out cronies. And surprising to me that have done most of it without their rock Bobby Sanders on defense. During this stretch of 4 weeks the wannabe big boy Browns have went from Derek Anderson, to Brady Quinn, and not-by-choice back to Derek Anderson, all the while going 1-3 against a pretty favorable NFL schedule.

Let's see...Harrison, Wayne, Clark. Where's Gonzalez? Dammit he just went in for another tuddy!

The reason I really luv Indy today is because I believe Peyton is getting his form back that he has had most of his career. The last 4 weeks he has thrown 9 tuddies to only 1 interception, which has led the Colts to a +6 turnover margin during this stretch. And Peyton needs to give a big Thank you to Anthony Gonzalez, who has emerged this year as a consistent threat in the offensive scheme. We all know that Wayne, Harrison, and Clark will get theirs, but now that Gonzalez is showing up every week, it creates that elusive fourth option that creates match up nightmares all day long.
My homegirl Kate Beckinsale just texted me and it said...T-Bone, kind of impossible to cover so many good things on one playing field isn't it? Kate, I am in full agreement!

Do you put a backer on Dallas and let him get burned?? Do you put a safety on Anthony and risk not having deep coverage?? These are the questions that must be answered all day long, and lets not forget 2 very important things regarding this….Peyton happens to be an absolute mastermind that maximizes every coverage opportunity, and the Brownies happen to be ranked 30th in the league in pass defense, giving up nearly 300 a game. Doesn’t really sound like a day when the Colts offense is going to struggle moving the ball does it?

I'll be relaxing with a stogie by the 4th!

But hey, lets give the Browns some credit. Anderson boasts a solid 49% completion percentage and has one more touchdown than interceptions. Jamaal Lewis can get you a touchdown every third game, and Kellen Winslow can provide more drama than your high school girlfriend calling to say she has a 15 year old kid. And while most of these stats wouldn’t post a victory in college ball, it somehow still buts the Brownies 3 games ahead of Cincinnati……GO OHIOOOOOO!!! Indy rolls by 17 points today!!

Keep on reading for my East Coast Teaser.
***And BT "mutha f*ckin" W, GREG GAMBLE luvs MIA -8

Continue reading "INSIDEPLAYS NFL ATS PICKS" »

About November 2008

This page contains all entries posted to Inside Plays in November 2008. They are listed from oldest to newest.

October 2008 is the previous archive.

December 2008 is the next archive.

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