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Thursday Night NFL ATS Magic & Hotness

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008 PIGSKIN PICKS: 46-31 ATS...60%
NFL 15-14 - NCAA 17-10 - Teasers 14-7 - Ladies 77-0
For yesterday's NFL Sunday Teaser Special...TOUCH ME HERE

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You think QB Ryan Fitzpatrick saw anybody like this when he was tossing around the pigskin in the Ivy League?

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Besides maybe seeing a few ladies w/ similar hair, I don't think anything about this snowy trip to PITT will be similar!

CINCY BENGALS @ PITTSBURGH STEELERS (-11)
With a defense that thrives on demoralizing opponents like Rocco Siffredi in Animal Trainer and an offense that has dominated but struggled in the red zone, I expect Pittsburgh to make a statement tonight with nothing else on the NFL docket and all their comrades watching. Unlike Tony LaRussa passed out at a stoplight, the Steelers won’t take their foot off the peddle, especially in front of the home-crowd and with Coach Omar Epps roaming the sideline like Kevin Garnett after throwing one into the seats.

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Just like her smile in the whites, the Steelers are one of the few teams smiling when the snowy white flakes are falling!

Last week, the Steelers marched up-n-down the field and out gained the Lightning Bolts by almost 200 yards, but somehow only managed 11 points in their controversial victory. Big Ben was Ty Detmer at BYU-efficient completing over 75% and throwing for 308 yards, while Fast Willie played through a shoulder injury to rush for 115 yards. At Epps’s press-conference this week, he stated Parker was “doing fine”, but don’t be surprised to see plenty of carries for scatback Mewelde Moore and some in-between the tackles carries for Gary Russell.

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Not many offensive ballers lined-up on the outside are delivering the punishment on Game Day like Hines MFin Ward!

As for Roethlisberger’s weapons, Hines Ward (53 rec, 681 yrds) continues to prove he’s the toughest WR outside of Anquan Boldin, sprinter Santonio Holmes (34 rec, 482) looks healthy and is overdue for a huge night, Nate Washington (23 rec, 17.1 avg) always finds a favorable match-up as the 3rd wide-out, and 6-5, 260 lb. TE Health Miller should be itching to contribute after missing the last two games. Throw-in the dump-off abilities of Mewelde out of the backfield (27 rec) and the emergence of 6-7, 270 lb. TE Matt Spaeth in Miller’s absence (last two games: 12 rec, 108 yrds), and I expect the Steelers to put-up at least 30 points against the league’s 20th ranked defense.

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Without a running game, Fitzpatrick will be laid-out like this tonight...but probably not looking this happy about it!

Speaking of the Bengals, while last week’s draw against the Eagles might be the highlight of their season, a short week for Harvard’s Ryan Fitzpatrick against Dick LeBeau’s aggressive D is recipe for disaster. Especially considering the Bengals rushing attack ranks 30th and is highlighted by Cedric “Boat Drinks” Benson (last week: 23 carries, 1.8 avg.), look for the Steelers to tee-off on the young Ivy Leaguer giving us the luxury of seeing Carson’s lil brother (Jordan Palmer) by the 4th quarter. In Fitz’s last road start, he threw two INTs and fumbled once against a paltry-Texans D in a 35-6 blowout. But what do I know…maybe he’ll look better in-front of the riled-up Steeler fans in shitty weather facing the league’s nastiest D.

Don't worry about Ocho Douche-Bag tonight...
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...he's not playing. TOUCH ME HERE TO FIND OUT WHY!!!

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Just like I never thought Britney would no-longer excite me, I never thought Ocho Cinco would be a non-factor!

Besides T.J. Who’syourmama, Cincy's skill-position players seem to have checked-out for the season w/ Fitz’s inability to get the ball downfield and will be without Ocho Cinco after he was deactivated for violating a team rule. And considering Marvin Lewis is running a parole program, I can only image what team rule he “really” broke (rumor has it after checking out Fitz's 8.5 ypc average (8.5), Marvin figured-out Chad was scheming for that # because it matched his jersey number and improved marketing opportunities). In general, the deactivation once again proves how mismanaged the Bengals are, and I just can’t see how they pull things together for road-trip to snowy Pittsburgh. So make sure to put the Asians & midgets to bed early and have the Champagne & Alize on ice Homeboys…this one should be fun!

Final Score: BENGALES 6 STEELERS 31

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What can I say Homeboys? I'm sorry about my NBA performance thus far...feel free to punish me as you wish!

I know I’ve sucked on the hardwood, but you know what that means...the Guru of the Association is due for a nice lil run…

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Like our friend...while I'm a little tentative, just because I've struggled in the NBA doesn't mean I'm going into hidding!

LOS ANGELES LAKERS (-4) @ PHOENIX SUNS
Sure the Lake Show ripped me off Tuesday, but so did a stripper named Oynx and I still revisited the establishment. After opening-up a 19-point lead in the 4th against the Charles in Charge led Bullies, the Lakers coasted to a cover’less victory, but proved early in the second half they can absolutely dominate teams when needed. Tonight, they’ll be no letdown in Phoenix facing one of their main rivals and The Diesel on this TNT special.

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Besides the TWO BIGS, the Suns frontcourt is weak!

Still adjusting to life without D’Antoni, the Suns looked putrid against an undermanned Jazz squad Monday losing by 12 (no Deron “ugly-tatts” Williams or Mehmet Okur). While they've never had a deep bench, with the defensive intensity Coach Porter expects PHX will struggle late in games as those ole legs wear down from playing both ends of the floor for the first time in years. With Barbosa out w/ a family illness Monday (status unknowns for 2night), check out the cats that logged minutes besides Boris Diaw & Grant Hill: Goran Dragic, Robin “the other” Lopez, & Louis “I had no idea he was white” Amundson.

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Like LA, it's nice to have a few gems coming off the bench!

Compared with the lavish Zenmaster bench (Odom, Ariza, Farmer, Walton, Vujacic, Mihm, & Powell), I can’t see how the Suns compete can hang for 48 minutse. Sure Nash & Amare are ridiculous and can carry the squad at times, but with Shaq looking more & more like a 25 mpg player, the team has struggled at times offensively with the magic of D’Antoni’s crossed-armed no longer around. Especially tonight with Nash possibly facing Fisher, Farmer, & Vujacic all by his lonesome, I expect Phil to utilize his bench even more than normal.

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My guess is this tastes much better than what Shaq wanted Kobe to taste!

And finally, with the greatest player on the planet after Bron-Bron still passionate to demoralize Mr. O’Neal, look for Kobe to attack the basket early to get the star of Kaazam in a poster shot or foul trouble. Especially with Bynum & Gasol holding their own in the frontcourt against Amare & Shaq, I expect the Lakers to send a message tonight that the Suns can’t hang with them anymore…Lakers by 8-14 points

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She looks almost as desperate as my azz to cover in the NBA!

Posted by Greg Gamble on November 20, 2008 11:09 AM |


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This page contains a single article from November 20, 2008 11:09 AM.

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