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January 2009 Archives

January 1, 2009


I'm hurting today...and not just cause of my picks yesterday!

I'm bouncing back with the most dominate D in the country! And I also believe USC Pete is acting nice for the camera, but will luv nothing more than beating Great Grandpa JoePa like a red-headed step-child!

Final Score: PUSSY CATS 13 TROJANS 31

Take the team with a coach that' s merely a prop if u want...

...but I'm taking these cool kids...HAPPY NEW YEAR!

January 2, 2009

The Robin Hood of the ATS Sports World

Before we hit-up some pigskin Bowl action, did you know these two fellas are no longer at Stanford?

The (11-1) Sun Devils have two of the deadliest shooters in the land (James Harden 24 ppg, 58 fg%, 46 3pt% & Rihards Kuksiks 11 ppg, 51 fg%, 52 3pt%) and a bevy of quality roll players that luv to share the ball. While the (10-0) Cardinals have been solid without the Lopez twins, I don't think they have the fire-power to keep up...SUN DEVILS BY 4-10 POINTS

Even a reality show hottie knows the importance of a tease!


BJ has been a fearless leader and I have to believe their balanced attack can cover more than two tuddies & a safety!

And in the Association, Indy is desperate and should look better than David Silver's girlfriend in yellow against the undermanned run-n-gun kids from Gotham...Indy wins!

Sorry to be so brief of late, but it's been a long couple days! Check in all weekend for NFL Playoff action, Teasin' T-Bone, and more magic from yours truly...I promise you won't be disapointed!

January 3, 2009


NFL: 13-9 NCAA: 19-19 Teasers 15-11

You bring the drinks, Insideplays will provide the goods!

Indianapolis Colts -1 @ San Diego Chargers

Normally I try to stay away from the Colts because quite frankly I detest how good Peyton and the Horseshoes are. But today, it is simply too good to pass up. Somehow you have a San Diego team that latched onto the AFC West title last Sunday because the Broncos wanted to go sit on the beach a week sooner, and because they grabbed the title, they now get to host the Colts who have been on a 9 game binder that would put most meth-heads into a coma. And if you can remember way back to the beginning of the season, Peyton was coming off his first serious injury for the first 7 games of the season.
Peyton has many weapons to choose from, oh yeah, and he also is livin' tha thug life. Play on playa.

So now the Colts are sneeking into the playoffs under the radar because they don’t even get a home game, but here is what they have done in the last 9 that should have any opposing team dropping the back door load in their pants. In 9 wins, they have outscored their opponents by 92 points, that’s averaging winning by more than 10 points a contest, in those same 9 games, Peyton threw for 17 touchdowns to only 3 picks, and during those 9 games, the Colts managed to get two 500 yard rushers, a 1,000 yard reciever in Reggie Wayne, and nearly a 1,000 yard tight end in Dallas Clark. Peyton has options, several options.
Looks like bending over in home whites is a common theme!

And I know that all of the Charger fans are cussing me right now and using names like Rivers and Tomlinson in between all the f-bombs. I agree with you, I do thing that LT will play with more passion today than he has all season and I do think that Rivers will be able to move the ball on occasion. But the bottom line in my mind is the fact that the Chargers haven’t shown up on defense like they have in recent years. They give up nearly 22 points a game, but more importantly they are 24th in the league in passing defense, which happens to scratch Peyton’s itch quite well. Colts win 27-17.
If Victoria can figure out how to cover her spread, I think the Falcons can figure out a way to grab their pick 'em spread.

Atlanta Falcons pick ‘em @ Arizona

I don’t have much to say on this game other than the fact that Matt Ryan has went on one hell of a ride this year, and he has many thanks to give to Michael Tucker. The Falcons will continue to dominate the tempo of the game by getting Tucker his carries, this will allow the rookie Ryan to settle into his first ever playoff game. And do you remember how Ryan stepped up big in his last game at BC by derailing Sparty in last years bowl game…..expect the same today.
If Edge and Warner were as perky as these sweater kittens the Cards just might have a fighting chance.

As for the Cardinals…Edge is old and pissed, Warner is wishing he was back in college so he could have a month off before a bowl game, and the Fitzgerald/Boldin combo can’t do sh*t if they don’t get the ball on a consistent basis. Plus ‘Zona has the 28th worst scoring defense in the league. Falcons win 33-17.

Smells like a couple home losses today fellas, and click below to see my college play of the day!

Continue reading "COLTS & FALCONS PICKS" »


NFL: 13-11 NCAA: 19-20 Teasers 15-11
Do I really have to wait 8 months to see her again?

Even though Saturday was primarily NFL, it was living proof that it doesn’t matter whether the big boys or little boys are playing pigskin, my Saturday record has been about as impressive as that home video porno that you and your girl tried making.(At least the ladies never let me down, CLICK HERE TO SEE) So instead of poking my eyes out with a butter knife, I figure it’s time to move on to something brighte,SUNDAY FUNDAY NFL TEASERS!
Unlike her, I don't think the Ravens and the Fins combined have the firepower to score at will!

Baltimore/Miami teased to under 44

Today’s matchup is going to be a struggle because both of these teams matchup up well against each others strengths. When you look at the strength for the Dolphins it is pretty easy to look at their offense. With Pennington in town they have figured out a way to become a very efficient passing offense, putting up over 235 yards a game. And what is even better, is they have figured out their rushing game lately and Ronnie Brown has become a franchise back with Ricky Williams as a sidekick.
Kinda tough to let loose when the defense has you all tied up.

But the unfortunate thing for the Fins is that the Ray Lewis led Ravens defense plays shutdown ball. And when they matched up with Miami back in October, they were able to take them out of their rhythm and only gave up a touchdown and two field goals. Yes, Baltimore will give up a few yards through the air, but you can bet that if Miami abandons the running game early, it will only mean that Ray Lewis will have an opportunity to pin his ears back that much sooner in the game. And lets not forget that Samari Rolle and Ed Reed are a couple good choices to have as your defensive backs.
Ray Ray ain't the only thing that looks good in black!

Most importantly in this under is the fact that Miami’s defense has been playing solid ball as of late, and are a big reason they finished out the regular season this year. With Joe Flacco being a rookie having to travel on the road against the confident Fins defense, I don’t see them having a whole lot of luck today. I think Miami will pull this one out 24-13.

Click below to check out my other teaser!


January 5, 2009

The Robin Hood of the ATS Sports World

NFL 23-18 - NCAA 19-14 - Teasers 19-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
NBA 11-10 - NCAA 5-4 - Teasers 4-0 - Church League 69-0

Colt "Roll-out" McCoy always seems to find the open man!

Fiesta Bowl – Glendale, AZ
Miserable bowl performances from the Big Ten (1-5) once again has many questioning if it’s time to renounce their status as a dominate power conference. Especially with the hilarity of the NCAA allowing the Big Ten to avoid a conference championship game and still be allowed to participate in the BCS, if the Buckeyes can’t keep this close tonight the cackles of “Overrated” will turn into a chorus from around the country.

Just like this sink, Texas is overflowing with sweet-azz talent!

While I believe the Buckeyes would be competitive in almost every conference and have plenty of future Sunday Funday stars, they don’t have the depth of playmakers you see from teams atop the Big 12, PAC-10, SEC, and Big East. Making matters even tougher on Ohio State rolling into this bowl season, while the Longhorns played the toughest second half schedule in the country, Jim Tressell’s bowl-prep work was finalized against an undersized Northwestern squad, the (5-7) Illini, and the woeful Wolverines. While Fr. QB Terrelle Pryor & RB Beanie Wells are as dangerous a backfield-duo as you’ll see, tonight they’ll be facing the nation’s 2nd ranked rush defense that’s holding opponents to under 75 yards/game.

Orakpo wears #98...you'll find him in the Buckeye backfield!

Even though you’ll see Ohio State commit to running the ball regardless of their success, Texas has the size and speed up-front to put them in plenty of passing situations. While Pryor has shown flashes of his ability thru the air, Tressell’s kept things extremely simple for the youngster (last three games: 20 total completions) and limited his reads to one or two options on every throw. As a result, even with the extra time to prepare, I can’t see how his breakout game comes against a Texas defense that leads the nation in sacks and has a young secondary full of playmakers.

Just like Jamie Chung, Colt stands in the pocket w/ confidence!

On the offensive side of the ball for the Longhorns, watching Jr. QB Colt McCoy dissect a defense is downright silly. Throwing for 3445 yards, 32 TD, and only seven interceptions seems Heisman-worthy in itself, but McCoy’s timely & well-orchestrated scampers for first downs (576 yards & 10 TD) was the main reason Texas kept drives going long enough to rank 4th in the nation in scoring. Throw-in two Sr. WRs that catch everything in sight (Jordan Shipley & Quan Cosby: 157 catches, 1934 yards, 19 TD), and a balanced rushing attack with four RBs with over 55 carries, and I expect Texas to march up-n-down the field just like they have all season.

With a BCS ranking on the line, the Horns will play with passion!

In closing, I just can’t see how a freshman QB-led squad can keep pace with a Texas team still hoping to be a player in the final BCS poll. While Ohio State should look much better than their awful 35-3 at USC, I can’t see how they keep this from a double-digit victory.

Final Score: BUCKEYES 20 TEXAS 34

Watch Manu breakout for a huge game tonight with everybody on the Heat trying to stop Duncan & Parker!

The Miami Wades have been playing better of late, especially at home, but...TOUCH ME HERE TO KEEP READING!

Continue reading "The Robin Hood of the ATS Sports World" »

January 6, 2009

Welcome to the ATS Hardwood Wonderland

NFL 23-18 - NCAA 19-15 - Teasers 19-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
NBA 12-10 - NCAA 5-5 - Teasers 4-0 - Church League 69-0

You know why he's dazed & confused, he can't believe USC's road-loss to a solid Beaver squad is more damaging than the Gators home-loss to average Ole Miss team!

Before we hit-up today's ATS Docket, I need to forewarn every NFL GM thinking of taking Buckeye RB Beanie Wells. No matter how dominate he looked at times during his brief career or how impressive he'll look at the combine, with his bruising running style and the (possible) inability for him to shake off nagging injuries, I just have a feeling he's gonna make an organization pull out their hair on weekly bases. With that, let's roll up some Aces ova Kings...

*FYI, for tonight's Ball St./Tulsa bowl game, I haven't added a pick because each side has coaches/coordinators leaving...but because I have a problem, I did tease the UNDA to +80 w/ some roundball!

Take about a sign Homeboys...she's wearing a Grizz bikini!

OMG...it's another ATS sign to roll with Memphis!

Mark my words Homeboys, O.J. & Rudy will have plenty more ATS wins than losses in 2009. While the vibe to start the year for the Grizz was nonexistent with a lingering hangover from the Gasol giveaway, a few weeks after Memphis was introduced to O.J. Mayo the excitement of the tiny fan-base was back. Throw in the surprisingly agility and quick development of 7-1 rookie Pau Gasol #2 (last 5 games: 15 ppg, 9 rpg, 2 bpg) another year of growth from the quiet-yet lethal Rudy Gay (19.1 ppg, 5.4 rpg), two intriguing choices at the point (Kyle Lowry & Mike Conley), and the sudden emergence of the lanky PF Hakim “Contract Year” Warrick (last 5 games: 17 ppg, 6 rpg), and the Grizz have quietly put together some franchise-worthy building blocks.

Warrick + a contract year = dominance of late!

On the T-Wolves side, I know they’ve actually won two straight (Warriors & Bulls) and beat the Grizz by 10 in Minnesota last Monday, but in my opinion, the roster Kevin McHale has put together just doesn’t mesh well. Especially at the point where McHale entered the season actually believing scoring guard Randy Foye was the answer (which failed miserably). Following Foye’s move to SG and after Sabby Telfair didn’t work out, the Wolves promoted the well-traveled 46-year old Kevin Ollie to the starting line-up. While never a threat to score, Ollie actually provided some stability to a young squad and was actually capable of running an NBA offense. Unfortunately, Ollie separated his shoulder in their last game leaving the dribble-happy Sabby as their only floor general. And tonight, against the strength of Lowry (last 6 games: 9 ppg, 7 apg, 28 FTA) and the speed of Conley, I expect the Grizz to have a very nice plus/minus against the Mini-Me streetballer.

Just like Chung makes it impossible to be gay, Brewer lost for the season makes it impossible for Minny to guard Gay!

In addition, with the injury to SF Corey Brewer, Minnesota has been forced to use combo-forward Ryan Gomes full-time as a starter…which bodes well for Gay at home tonight. Throw-in my opinion that Mayo is already a much better player than Foye, and the Grizzlies should be able to dominate action on the perimeter tonight. While Al Jefferson is a beast down-low and Kevin Love has played better of late, I have a feeling Gasol & Harrick will carry over their impressive performances from this past weekend (played San Antonio tough Friday, blew-out Dallas Sunday), not to mention, the change at PG could cause the T-Wolves some struggles…GRIZZLIES BY 8-12 POINTS

I'm totally shocked this Lottery Pick didn't pan out...at least OK City doesn't have to worry about using him much tonight!

I know it sounds absurd to only get 3 points when your record is 4-30, but the Thunder have played better of late & actually match-up well with the Knicks. After year's of drafted centers in Seattle it's amazing they still suck in the middle, but lucky for them tonight, they face a D’Antoni team that doesn’t even use one. Speaking of NY, while some will believe the undermanned Knicks will by hyped after beating the Defending Champs in Gotham Sunday, I believe we’ll see a letdown from the undermanned squad traveling to fanless-Oklahoma City with a date in Dallas on the horizon. On the flipside, the Thunder have played their last three at home and are starting to gain some confidence. (PHX pulled away late in the 4th, they beat Golden St, and lost a buzzer-beater against Denver).

Durant has the same jaw-dropping ability with his long & skinny limbs...and I don't think NY has an answer!

Back to the match-ups, 6-9 Kevin Durant (24 ppg, 6 rpg, 47 fg%, 44 3pt%) and 6-9 Jeff Green (last 5 games: 20 ppg, 7 rpg, 50 3pt%) have been outstanding offensively this season, but have struggled at the other end when forced to guard opponents on the block. Against the Knicks they won’t have to worry about that as Al Harrington, Wilson Chandler, & Q-Richardson spend the majority of their time roaming the perimeter. At the point, while Duhon has been impressive manning Mike’s magical offense, he’ll have all kinds of trouble with the strength and quickness of rookie PG Russell Westbrook (last 8 games: 17 ppg, 6 apg, 46 3pt%). Especially with a recent victory against the swingmen-happy Warrrios, I expect Oklahoma City to look comfortable running the floor tonight and to relish not worrying about anybody to defend underneath…SUPERTHUNDER BY 4-9 POINTS

I'm breaking out my Redbird Bikini for this one Homeboys!

While naysayers will tell you the (14-0) Redbirds haven’t played anybody...TOUCH ME HERE TO FIND OUT MORE KNOWLEDGE

Continue reading "Welcome to the ATS Hardwood Wonderland" »

January 7, 2009

The Robin Hood of the ATS Handicapping

NFL 23-18 - NCAA 19-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
NBA 13-11 - NCAA 5-6 - Teasers 4-0 - Church League 69-0

As the Sooners worry about where Percy Harvin is line-up...

...watch as their feet get tangled as...

...my lil Homeboy Jeffery Demps races past them!

Before we get to my three ATS Hardwood selections for today, I think it's time to get you ready for the Thursday Night Pigskin Action...

BCS National Championship Game – Miami, FL
As a graduate of the Big 12, it pains me to admit it, but the conference’s dominance in the polls this season was created with smoke-n-mirrors. Like Tara Reid after we first saw her in the movies and thought: “sexy college hottie”, but then, after candidly seeing her on the beach we now think: “a middle-aged Benjamin Button from the new Brad Pitt movie”. Early in the year, the Big 12’s pass happy spread powerhouses rolled as they played mid-majors not ready to handle their size, speed, or had the depth in the secondary to compete. Following that, they headed to conference play and proceeded to pass the pills like it was ecstasy in a rap video. And besides controlling the bottom-feeders of the conference, did you ever see those powerhouse squads stop each other?

Unlike the bells & whistles on Adriana's outfit that work everywhere, OKL's bells & whistles won't work in the SEC!

And count me in as a pigskin fan that was bamboozled…I never realized these guys were one trick ponies. Fortunately for us, the gambling masses haven’t taken notice as the conference’s 4-2 Bowl record has been camouflaged by three Big Ten victories (Northwestern, Minnesota, & Ohio State). Throw-in a Nebraska victory over a Clemson squad in coaching disarray, Missouri & Texas playing poorly and barely pulling out victories, and Texas Tech’s embarrassing defense against Mississippi, and I honestly believe the Sooners haven’t had the prep-work to properly face a dominate gang like Florida.

For years, Florida has been stockpiling supreme talents!

I could spend time talking about the ridiculous amount of weapons & trackstar speed littering the field for Florida, or how Timmy has a chip on his shoulder after Sam Bradford won the Heisman, or how the Gator D doesn’t have a weakness on either the 1st or 2nd strings, but I’m not…because you’ve already heard it. Florida will win by double-digits because of Coach Urban Meyer. Since the disappointment last season (where Meyer thought his players where just happy being a Gator) and the hiccup against Ole Miss, the brilliant football mind has become psychotically motivated to destroy every team in the country and has convinced his ridiculously talented players they can’t be stopped.

Like Jarah, Sam has nice skin tone and a Hollywood smile. But my guess, Bradford won't look the same after 2night!

While QB Sam Bradford has been nearly flawless this year through the air, the Florida DL and creative blitz packages will force him to check down and enable the Gators speedy linebackers to have a field day. On the other side of the ball, for all the J.J. Redick ridicule Timmy T receives, he’s the most imposing QB in the land (6-3, 240), has a more accurate arm than given credit for (28 TD, 2 INT, 65%), and has little 4-foot scatbacks running around him like Sonic the Hedge Hodge to ease the pressure (Percy Harvin, Jeffery Demps, Chris Rainey, etc). Throw-in the ridiculous speed on the outside with 6-3 Louis Murphy (17.0 avg, 6 TD) and the emergence of TE Aaron Hernandez (last 2 games: 7 rec, 104 yards, 2 TD), and I’m sorry to say it Big Twelvers…but the Gators are gonna dominate all night!


(Too skip to my NBA Hardwood Selections...TOUCH ME HERE)

While this undersized flawless talent is the main reason we luv the college hardwood...

...this undersized flawless talent proved to us during the original 90210 that you can't do it alone!

Yes, I hate Duke and I luv Stephen Curry. But that should give you confidence I’m predicting a 20-point victory from the Krzyzewski Devils. While Curry’s production is still ridiculous (29 ppg, 7 apg), the junior’s shooting percentages are the lowest of his career…and I have three reason why. 1) With the graduation of PG Jason Richards (13 ppg, 8 apg), Curry has played more point and doesn’t get the easy looks the playmaking Richards could get him. 2) While Davidson Cinderella Story has been unbelievable, the past two seasons trying to prove themselves more-n-more against the big-boys has taken a toll. 3) Elite teams are no longer surprised by the darlings from Davidson and have scouted game plans to stop a team with an undersized superstar fleeced with average to above-average roll players.

Just like she refuses to show her face, I'm refusing to acknowledge the players of the team I'm investing on!

As for Duke, while I refuse to mention or support their ridiculously talented, smart, and mostly white ballers, I will admit they look sickly sweet right now Homeboys. As for some easy gambling math… Duke won at Purdue by 16 …Davidson lost at Purdue 18 …which means you don’t have to worry about the 14 unless its doubled. Especially in Dukeville with the rabbit rude-azz rich kids, I’m guessing will see Stephen Curry biting his mouthpiece and looking at the scoreboard in disarray more than a few times...KRZYZEWSKI DEVILS BY 20-26

I can't wait to see J.R. Smith try to stop him tonight!

I know the Nuggs played well without Carmelo for a few games and probably will have some fiery talk how they can win without him, but...TOUCH ME HERE 4 THIS AND MORE NBA PICKS

Continue reading "The Robin Hood of the ATS Handicapping" »

January 8, 2009

BCS Championship & College Hoops Picks

NFL 23-18 - NCAA 19-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
NBA 14-12 - NCAA 5-7 - Teasers 4-0 - Church League 69-0

Against these two aggressive D's tonight, I'll take the 240-lb QB that's rushed for 1932 yrds & 43 TD the last 3 years!

While I don't always agree, tonight, bigger is better!

FedEx BCS Championship - Miami, FL

Because of his all around game and D, I honestly believe Mr. Maynor has a brighter NBA future than Mr. Curry!

Because just like Jenny, top-to-bottom he's MFin solid!

If you want to skip to my PAC-10 ATS Pick - Touch Me Here
Usually at the mid-major level we see quite a few 20 ppg scoring guards, but the majority of them always seem to have horrible A/TO ratios and horrendous shooting percentages. The exception, not named Stephen Curry, is a kid you might remember from the Big Dance two season ago in 6-2 PG Eric Maynor. Check out his redonkulous offensive numbers this year:

Eric Maynor 23 ppg, 6 apg, 2 spg, 48 fg%, 78 ft%, 41 3pt%

Just like it took her awhile to learn how to play pool, its taken the VCU newcomers time to learn to play with Maynor!

While Maynor has seen a hefty turnover the last few years, after a mediocre start to this year, his teammates seem to have found a groove playing alongside the future NBA baller. After losing a tough contest with Vanderbilt to end November, the Rams went on a four-game winning streak before losing a solid battle at Oklahoma 81-70. Since then they’ve gone 2-1 with a disappointing 1-point road loss to Delaware sandwiched between the two wins. As result of the conference loss, and coming off a dominating performance Monday (W 88-59 at UNC-Willmington), I expect Mr. Maynor & Co. to get things back on track against (5-7) Drexel who is only 2-2 at home this year.

Just like these were easy to cover for Jenn, similarly the Drexel guards are easy to cover cause they can't shoot!

Drexel is similar to most average mid-major teams as they are led in scoring by two guards who shoot 36% & 33% from the field and 28% & 17% from behind the arc. In contrast, VCU’s other starting guards are able to let Maynor set them up with pretty looks and open lanes for easy buckets (Joey Rodriguez: 11 ppg, 47 3pt%, 93 ft% - Bradford Burgess: 8 ppg, 49 fg%, 41 3pt%). As for the frontcourt players, I’d consider it a wash…with the exception that the Rams star PG actually gets them involved...VCU RAMS BY 7-11 POINTS

This little pimp had no trouble raising up when WST was great last year...how you think he'll do now that they're not!?

For all the info and more hotties...TOUCH ME HERE

Continue reading "BCS Championship & College Hoops Picks" »

January 9, 2009

Friday Night Hoops & Weekend NFL ATS

NFL 23-18 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
NBA 15-12 - NCAA 7-7 - Teasers 4-0 - Church League 69-0

Like Bron, I'm undefeated when I do this in my living room before tip-off, and tonight, I'm gonna do it right with him!

I'll admit it...I never thought the talented, oddly-shaped Paulie P had the stamina to will all the way to an Association Diamond Ring. That being said, the superstar seems a lil more oddly-shaped & sweaty than normal...and I'm guessing having a much longer season and a shorter off-season filled with Finals opportunities & free meals.

FYI Paulie, while your allowed a mulligan after winning it all, next season I'd find out what workout plan this Cougar is on!

And in all fairness, most of the Celts look a lil winded, outside of Ray playing like Jesus Shuttlesworth and Rajon Rondo running around like Spud Webb back in the day (and in my opinion, while Rondo is a special youngster, he's been forced to initiate the offense too much which has lead to some erratic & ugly offense). Especially the cats sitting next to Doc, those roll-players look like they partied like a Rock Star this summer.

Reminds me of the Celtic bench...Big Baby, Ed Hizzouse, & Brian "token whitie" Scalabrine just chillin & enjoyin the view

As for the scariest baller every to touch the hardwood and his passionate & talented roll-players tonight, they don't lose at home, everybody is strokin' it, Bron's still chippy and fired-up after the "Crab-Dribble" hate (which got us an ATS victory already this week), and this team knocked them out last year...who is playing like shiznit right now.

As for the NFL Playoff action this weekend, just like I predicted with Timmy T during my 3-0 ATS evening last night...
...Big Brandon Jacobs is gonna wear down those Eagles!

All the emotion and momentum everybody is talking about with Philly will be punched in the mouth front the start by the Giant's punishing run game. Even if they know it's coming, the downhill attack by Jacobs can't be stopped as he'll plow for yardage keeping things short on 3rd down for Eli. Then by the 2nd half, with things softened-up, they won't know what happened when Ward & Bradshaw fly thru the hole.

Don't know how to relate her to the Giant rushing attack, but it's Jamie Chung week...feel free to create your own caption!

The NY GIANTS cover easily as the Eagles run out of gas and Donovan makes a few mistakes...that's it Homeboys, not much more to say. But I do have a message from Tianna Taaaa...

"Make sure to check in all weekend for Teasin T's ATS Magic & more from Greggy G! As for what else he likes tonight..."

Continue reading "Friday Night Hoops & Weekend NFL ATS" »

January 10, 2009


NFL: 13-11 NCAA: 19-19 Teasers 15-12

NBA: 2-1 NCAA: 0-2 Teasers 3-1

If you look into Kobe's eyes you will see determination, if you can see through the glaze in my eyes you will find determination as well, Teasin' T-Bone style!

The only thing I have to say today before jumping into my banter and picks is that if you haven’t ridden Greggy G like a rented mule the last 2 nights, you have missed out. To see is mastery of football and basketball picks, CLICK HERE for Thursday action and TOUCH ME for Friday action.
Some people think she is the 'Y' in the YMCA, I think that she is a referee in Carolina today.

Arizona/Carolina over 49 points

When looking at this game I first went back to see what the hell happened when these two met back in October in Carolina. The result, a 23-27 Panther victory, which adds up to 50 points and shows me the potential is there to duplicate this effort. But what really caught my eye today was the fact when the Cardinals hop on a plane to go to a visiting city, they seem to forget their defense back in Phoenix.
Every team looks like this against the Cardinals so-called road defense.

The last 5 games that Arizona has played on the road have resulted in defensive lapses that have given up 27, 37, 48, 35, and 47 respectively. And in those 5 games, Zona has managed to score 18 points a game. I believe that this shows there is a lot to be said for a team getting up by 20 points and relaxing a bit, and we all know that the Cardinals are potent enough with Fitzgerald, Boldin, and the playoff ready Edge.
With a couple wide outs like Fitzgerald and Boldin anchoring the front end, it's tough to not score all the time, kinda symbolic isn't it?

If you need one more reason to love this game, both the Cardinals and Panthers have gone over the line in 6 of their last 7 games. Smells like a whole lot of tuddies and at least 60 points today.


January 11, 2009


NFL: 13-12 NCAA: 19-19 Teasers 15-12

NBA: 2-1 NCAA: 0-2 Teasers 3-2
Sunday Funday with the NFL and Insideplays is like a pair of sweater kittens all pushed together!

My homey from the Windy City, Greg Gamble, has already summed up the NFL pick of the day pretty well(GET IT RIGHT HERE), so I am going to move my efforts on Sunday Funday to the reason that I lost sleep last night….the Chicago Bulls. Who by the way, managed to completely botch a 4 game home stand with end cap losses to the T-Wolves and the friggin’ Thunda.
If you surround yourself with the right people, good things are bound to happen to you, sweet little thangs.

Lets start with a general theme of mine that I have learned through my life as a degenerate business man. When you are in the middle of a losing situation, either business, personal, or sports, you have two choices…you either ‘CHANGE the people, or you change the PEOPLE’. So it is pretty simple, if the guys within the Bulls organization are not willing to change who they are(which is next to impossible by the way), then the only choice left is to get new people. And when I say new people, I’m talking 60-70% need to be wearing a different color.
Sometimes even top talent needs to strip down and change their scenery, like going from stomach to back!

So lets look at the Bulls roster over the last couple years. In 2007, the Bulls had names like Brown, Deng, Duhon, Gardner, Gooden, Gordon, Gray, Griffin, Hinrich, Hughes, Khryapa, Nichols, Noah, Nocioni, Sefalosha, Simmons, Smith, Thomas, and finally Wallace. Count ‘em up fellas, that’s 19 different players, all led by 2 different coaches. And now for the 08-09 roster, the Bulls bring Deng, Gooden, Gordon, Gray, Hinrich, Hughes, Hunter, Noah, Nocioni, Rose, Ruffin, Sefalosha, Simmons, and Thomas.
I don't always recommend it, but sometimes a 2-for-1 trade is needed.

So the good news is that they have slowed down the churn from 19 different players to 14 players this year, the bad news is that they chose to get rid of some of the wrong dudes. From the end of the 07-08 campaign, there are only 3 new faces…Hunter, Rose, and Ruffin. Last time I checked, changing out 3 faces on a team of 14 is about a 20% change, so unfortunately for Bulls fans, many more need to come. At point guard, I commend them for picking up Rose and Hunter, this was a great front office combination, cuz a vet like Hunter is about the only thing that will keep Rose from having 3 babies and a drug addiction after this year. Now Hinrich on the other hand, I cannot begin to explain how backwards it is to have the teams 2nd highest paid player at 10M be third on the depth chart. The Bulls need to dump now and hope to pick up a draft pick, or better yet a middle age defensive specialist to plug the holes.
We can't go back to these days, but we had a guy named Ben Wallace that played a similar style of shut down ball.

As for the rest of the change, I believe you need to get Gordon, Hughes, and Noah the hell out of town while you may still be able to get something for them. This would take a multiple team move, because no one in their right mind would want all three, but if the Bulls could free up 21M to get one good shooting guard that actually plays defense and a real threat PF or center that can master the pick and roll with Rose, Stockton/Malone style.
Dearest Vinny, please go back to TV and get the f**k out of Chicago!

Will these moves happen? I don’t know. Are they the right ones? I don’t know. But change needs to happen soon, and unfortunately for the Bulls, the best coaches to handle an all out culture change are the experienced ones, and last time I checked Scott Baio is as green as a friggin’ electric car. Either way, I’ve learned one thing about the Bulls with these two homes losses in the last week…their focus is elsewhere, cuz teams that have focus don’t let others with worse records take them down on their own turf…and that comes from the top.



January 12, 2009

Sports Weekend Recap & Daily ATS Picks

NBA 17-12 - NCAA 7-7 - Teasers 4-0 - Church League 69-0
NFL 23-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

While McNabb & Westbrook get most of the luv, the passionte hard-hitting play of Mr. Dawkins has this team believing!

Well, I definitely learned my lesson by not following the inscription on my ankle bracelet: WWGGD. After predicting the Eagles would win the Super Bowl at the beginning of the year (if you don’t believe me, TOUCH ME HERE and scroll down), I played the Giants on Sunday and basically backstabbed my own handicapper. That being said, I couldn't be happier for Donovan and fully expect them to still be playing in February. And the funny thing, while I usually hate when players use the “we used the criticism as motivation”-card after a victory, for some reason I feel McNabb has every right to throw it on the table.

I suggest Timmy T use the Tila T approach when in front of a large group...don't talk & just tell them stare at your body!

TIM TEBOW IS COMING BACK (and hopefully taking a speech class)
I know Tebow is the definition of a collegiate football god, and in my opinion, will also have a much better career than most people think at the next level, but have you ever seen a lifelong media magnet all of sudden transform into a nervous prop trying too hard to be both humble and Mr. Joe Cool. Honestly, watching the Gator rally as he announced he’s was returning (after an embarrassing attempt to tease the audience), I actually pictured Drama from Entourage playing the role of Tebow and purposefully doing a horrific & uncomfortable performance. Maybe I’m a little harsh, or even jealous of the pigskin superstar, but since the end of last season, I just cringe every time he’s front of a microphone.

While Pacman is a badazz dude, watching his interview w/ Stephen Azz was one of the funniest things I've ever seen!

*TOUCH ME HERE FOR THE INTERVIEW...the first minute just has Stuart Scott’s one crazy eyebrow haunting your dreams, but after that the interview starts, and trust me, it is beyond priceless!

First off, watching this last night, I honestly felt like I was watching a Saturday Night Live skit. Who needs 60 Minutes & Mike Wallace when you have Stephen Azz screaming every other word and pretending he’s solving the strip club mystery with inquires that would be an insult to “Softball Questions”...you have Pac Man glaring like a man that just doesn’t give a f*ck and a minute away from jacking somebody...and you have the crackerish Lawyer debating whether his client can respond to the investigative brilliance of one Steph Smith,

Stephen Azz: “DID you…or DID YOU NOT say, I’M GONNA KILL EVERBODY in da CLUB?!”

While I'd rather watch these two over any other two, Stephen & Pacman added a fidgety white lawyer for my amusement!

Everything from Sir Pac O Lot asking what he’s supposed to do when he can’t go here, can’t go to da club, can’t drink, can’t make it rain and then try to take the money back, to his rich cracker representation discussing a gangsta named “Slugga” and looking eerily similar to Blago’s photo-challenged lawyer was frickin' hilarious! Not to mention, after years of struggling to figure out whom Stephen Azz Smith reminds me of, I’ve finally figured it out. With his tiny little gyrating head, enormous yapper, and emphatic gestures, what can I say, he reminds me of a Muppet! But I will give the overzelous character one compliment...he got Pacman to say one of the greatess non-answers of all time:

Sir Pac o lot: “I ain’t fuss or fight with nobody man…I might had some words, but that’s it.”

Scott Skiles brilliant coaching style should work for at least two more years...then the players will start tuning him out!

This game comes down to my belief in Coach Scotty Skiles coming off a loss and my belief interim Wiz headmaster Ed Tapscott is in over his head after spending the last 10 years upstairs instead of on the sideline. While the Bucks are smack-dab in the middle of Eastern playoff mediocrity and a few games under .500, for the majority of the year either Michael Redd (last four games: 28 ppg, 42-3pt%) or Andrew Bogut (12 ppg, 11 rpg, 57 fg%) has been sidelined. Even though they lost a heartbreaker against suddenly hot Minnesota 106-104 Saturday, Boget finally returned and looked extremely efficient in 28 minutes of play (7-8 FGs, 7 reb, 2 blks), and I expect him to look even better tonight against the Brendan Haywood-less Bullet frontcourt.

Just like our friend, it's tough for the Wiz to contain someone of Andrew Boget's size with Brandon Haywood out!

While Skiles’s approach eventually fell on deaf-ears in Chicago, initially the team thrived playing the style & demeanor of their headmaster…and the same results can be seen in a redesigned Bucks squad even w/ their injury problems early on. A telling aspect of Milwaukee’s development can be seen in their schedule the past few weeks as they’ve bounced back from a loss with a victory in six straight contests. And as mentioned, they blew a lead late & lost in Minny Saturday so look for the disciplined group to come-out focused tonight.

While I don't know what this means, Stevenson's aggressive defense and passionate on-court antics are sorely missed!

As for the Wiz, they honestly look as though they know the season is already over. Still without Agent Zero, defensive specialists DeShawn Stevenson & Brendan Haywood, and forced to start a shot-happy overmatched vet at the point (Mike James), Washington’s merely a two pony show…and those two ponies aren’t having much fun. Having lost two straight, Jamison & Butler entered the weekend with arguable the best just to muster some kind of momentum with a tilt in Chicago Friday and home game against the undermanned Bobcats the following night. Unfortunately, their fate was sealed as they were killed by Chicago and blew a 4th quarter lead against the Cats O Bob. And I don’t think a date with an energized Skiles squad will liven-up their downtrodden vibe.

Just like she matches well w/ wealthy crotch-rocket bikers, the Bucks match-up well w/ the Bullets big-time scorers!

As for the particular match-ups, Redd & RJ have the scoring ability to match Jamison & Bulter, while Bogut should have a field day against the light-weight Blatche and the Ridenour/Sessions combo will run circles around Mike James. Throw-in the unique defensive abilities of Luc Richard Mbah a Moute on the perimeter-oriented Jamison and the scoring prowess of Charlie V off the bench (last four games: 20 ppg, 47-3pt%), and I expect the Bucks to easily handle the biggest disappointment in the Association. BUCKS BY 7-12 POINTS

I can't wait to see how Vinny Del Scott Baio handles an already crabby backcourt once Capt. Kirk finally returns!

As for the Blazers...
...they have more scoring options than she has clothing options to match those beautiful stockings!

While the Bulls have been the definition of inconsistent...

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January 13, 2009

ATS Hardwood Dominance & Lovely Ladies

NBA 19-12 - NCAA 7-7 - Teasers 4-0 - Church League 69-0
NFL 23-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
Did you miss my undefeated ATS magic yesterday...TOUCH ME HERE

Rumor has it Curry was angry cause the game went OT and he knew his favorite All-U-Can-Eat restaurant was closed!

If you haven't heard, not only has Eddy "Cheeseburger, Cheesburger" Curry's basketball career become a joke, a former male limo driver is now accusing him of sexual harrasment and revealing some bizarre stories. While I have no idea if this is true, if Big Ed really wanted a cheeseburger bad enough, I could see a proposition similar to what the crack-head offered in Menace to Society.

I'm guessing leaving the Hollywood scene for cold-azz Minneapolis doesn't make for a fun end to a road trip!

Holy Kevin McHale hairy arm pits…the Wolves have won five-straight and have done it with Sabby Telfair running the point! And from my experience, just like the first time you get clearance from the tower to head south and all of a sudden you think you’re a connoisseur of fruit-juice, Minny’s first significate win streak since KG left has these youngsters believing they can play with anybody. As mentioned, the speedy Sabby has surprisingly played under-control since taking over the reigns (last four games: 13 ppg, 8 apg, 3 tpg) and enabled Randy Foye to play his more natural position at Shooting Guard (last 5 games: 21 ppg, 4 apg, 50 fg%, 56-3pt%). Throw-in the finally healthy sharp-shooting Mike Miller to give their backcourt some size and ability to stretch the defense for Al Jefferson down-low (23 ppg, 11 rpg, 50 fg%), and the Wolves should cause some problems for a squad giving big-time minutes to Mario Chalmers & Chris Quinn to run the show.

Since switching w/ Shaq, things haven't been the same for Marion. And being in a contract year, I don't think he's too happy bout it!

While D-Wade is having a MVP season under Pat Riley’s new sideline puppet, the Heat are still trying to fit the pieces in around him. With two rookies garnering late game minutes (Chalmers & the Bease), Shawn Marion not looking anything to close to the Matrix in their half-court sets, 6-9 C Joel Anthony actually starting, and the ghost of Jamal Magloire the only other option with some size, I have a feeling GM LA Looks knows he needs a big-time move at the deadline…unless this year is simply a wash as they wait for Marion to come off the books so they can bring a baller like Boozer to South Beach.

Hopefully Miami packed the proper attire for Minny!

But the biggest reason my ATS Van is parked outside the Target Center, I luv that Miami just played out West and concluded the visit w/ a tough loss in Hollywood Sunday night against the undermanned & uninterested Lakers. I guarantee Mr. Wade was extra psyched for the battle with Kobe on the LA stage, and I’m also guessing his teammates and him enjoyed the posh nightlife atmosphere afterwards. Fast forward two days later, and the Heat are getting off a plane in sub-zero temps to play a T-Wolves squad they subconsciously think they can sleepwalk over…and that just ain’t happening!

With McHale finally moving Foye out of the point, the kid is finally playing w/ the moxy that made him a Lottery Pick!

While Kevin Love still is struggling to find his place in the offense, the former Bruin has been an absolute beast on the glass (last five games: 13 ppg, 11 rpg, 58 fg%) and should pair with Big Al & bruising PF Craig Smith to dominate the Heat’s frontcourt tonight. As for the Wade taking-ova factor, for some reason I feel like a suddenly-confident Randy Foye actually matches-up pretty well…WOLVES BY 5-11 PTS

The Nuggs giving six points without Melo seems fishy!

I’ve already lost a few times this year playing against a Melo-less Nuggets squad, but even in defeat, I stand by my belief that they don’t have the horses to carry this thing for too long. And tonight, while Dallas will be w/out Josh Howard, I just believe the veteran presence and desperation after losing two straight for Dirk, Kidd, & Terry will be too much for Chauncey & his young shooters to handle...MAVS WIN OUTRIGHT

With Amare now playing both ends & Shaq finding the Fountain of Youth, the Horford-less Hawks are in trouble 2night!

As the NBA-gurus have warned us from the onset, one injury to the Hawks, especially in the frontcourt, could spell their playoff demise. While C Al Horford shouldn’t miss much too much time and some may even say his stats look pedestrian, his contributions go beyond the box score as he’s a phenomenal “help” defender and makes-up for the fact ATL is forced to play two SFs (Josh Smith & Marvin Williams) instead of a true PF. As for the proof, in their first game without Mr. Horford, the Hawks lost at home by 15 to sub-.500 Philly, were out-rebounded by 15, and allowed the Sixers to shoot 55% from the field.

Unlike Carmella, the Hawks don't have the booty to compete!

Considering the Hawks frontcourt had major problems stopping an Elton Brand-less 76ers squad, do you think Coach Woodson feels any better game-planning to contain the the rebirth of The Diesel (last 9 games: 21 ppg, 10 rpg, 2 bpg) and the dominance of Black Jesus (22 ppg, 9 rpg, 55 fg%) with Zaza Pachilia & some undersized center named Solomon Jones? Throw-in a decent match-up against Joe Johnson with the defensive abilities of Jason Richardson (Btw, is it me, or is J-Rich playing with even more passion and dedication since his little drinky-drivey incident) and Mike Bibby’s probable reluctance to follow Stevie Nash around 100 screens or chase the Brazilian Barbosa Bandit for more than two minutes, and I expect the Suns to runaway with tonight’s contest…PHOENIX BY DOUBLE DIGITS HOMEBOYS

I hear she's all smiles because she heard I like to tease!

TOUCH ME HERE to find out why Homeboys...TOUCH ME HERE!!!

Continue reading "ATS Hardwood Dominance & Lovely Ladies" »

January 14, 2009

Daily NBA & NCAA Handicapping Magic

NBA 20-14 - NCAA 7-7 - Teasers 4-1 - Church League 69-0
NFL 23-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

Considering he never could shoot and can't run anymore, this is the only move CP3 has to worry about tonight!

The only job that might be easier than Chris Paul's is being the Director of Bubble Placement for this photo shoot!

While the German Diggler and his boys gave me a victory on the ATS docket last night, the gut-wrenching two point loss in Denver didn’t do much for their psyche and saw their top two veteran scorers (Dirk & Terry) log nearly 80 minutes. With Josh “getting-high, driving-fast, & hatin-America” Howard out last night, the Mavs offense relied solely on isolation plays for Dirk and transition jumpers for Terry. Unfortunately, with Howard’s replacements shooting 2-14 (Antoine Wright, Jose Juan Barea, & Devean George) and Granpda Kidd injuring his elbow late in the contest after shooting 1-9 from the field, I’m guessing the plane ride from Mile High was nothing like the vibe on Snoop’s Soul Plane.

Just like our tan friend in this white bikini, the Hornets off an embarrassing loss is a wonderful ATS selection!

On the flipside, the (22-12) Hornets had Byron Scott stewing to the media yesterday after the team's shameful home-loss to the Knicks Monday. At times, New Orleans has looked like Jassie James in “Old Geezers, Young Teasers" (flawless compared to her cast mates), but similarly to her lazy performance in “Super Ninja Bikini Babes” a few months later, the Hornets have a tendency to play down to the competition. But tonight, especially after the abysmal performances from Peja & David West against NY (combined 9-32 FGs) and the consistent inability of Joumana’s whipping-boy to hang with CP3, I expect the Hornets to work-ova a tired and undermanned Mavericks squad.

While Dirk & David usually have some fierce battles, the Diggler off 42 minutes last night bodes well for Mr. West!

While Dirk was un-frickin-believable last night (44 pts, 14 reb), I’m guessing his arthritic ankles will have a tough time banging with West or running with Chandler tonight. Throw-in the wing-players for the Hornets desperately trying to prove their spot in Byron’s tight rotation (behind the arc - James Posey 44%, Peja 40%, Rasual Butler 44%, & Mo Pete 37%), and I expect those snipers to have a huge game against the wing-challenged Mavs…especially with all the attention Coach Carlisle will place on stopping the deadliest pick-n-roll baller since Johnny Stockton. HORNETS ROLL EASILY

The Dukes cover-up at home almost as well as Josie Maran covers-up at the beach...and that makes me smile!

Considering most casual fans don’t even know Duquesne resides in the A-10, let alone invest on them because they don’t want to embarrass themselves on a bookie’s voicemail or with the Sportsbook because they can’t pronounce the university, oddsmakers always seem to give the kids from Pittsburgh a favorable line. And once again tonight, the Gambling Gods are proving they have a soft-spot for degenerates risking phonetic embarrassment.

Mr. Jackson might be the best PG you've never heard of!

The (11-4) Dukes are led by one of the most underrated and efficient point guards in the country, 6-4 Sr. Aaron Jackson (18 ppg, 6 rpg, 6 apg, 59 fg%, 42-3pt%). Combined with his unselfishness...

TO KEEP READING this breakdown and more ATS picks, TOUCH ME HERE or lick her tattoo...I promise it'll work!

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January 15, 2009

Thursday Night Hardwood Handicapping

NBA 20-12 - NCAA 7-8 - Teasers 4-1 - Church League 69-0
NFL 23-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

Every NBA dynasty needs a token lil white shooter just like...

...every B-list hottie needs a strange manager/boyfriend!

Just like the token black guy in every comedy about losing your virginity in the suburbs and the token bikini-clad Asian at Insideplays.com are fan favorites, the token little white shooters of a NBA dynasty usually live in infamy for years and years. Amazingly, the Bulls Championship Era produced two cracker snipers that parlayed staying out of His Airness’s way and knocking down wide-open Js into General Managerial gigs. In Chicago, everybody wanted and expected to see Johnny Pax rebuild the post-Jordan mess, but after years of botched drafts and a log-jammed roster of short dudes (most former lil guards fall in luv with other lil guards), the memories of Paxson’s sweet playoff jumpers are being replaced by images of Larry Hughes & Ben Gordon fighting for shots & letting their man cut backdoor.

I'm using this pic cause in the next segment I talk about the "grace" period allotted to Pax and her name is Grace...get it?

Unlike the grace period initially lauded to Pax, Stevie Kerr took over a contending team in Valley of the Sun and was immediately responsible for getting Nash’s rapidly closing window to the Finals. And in arguable the most dramatic transition of an already dominate team in league history, Mr. Kerr displayed his massive cahones and completely changed the dynamics of the Suns. While the initial criticism of the Shaq/Matrix swap was tolerable, after the playoff exit and the fan-adored D’Antoni’s reluctance to move forward with this new plan, Kerr was on an island by his lonesome when it came to believing the Suns where better suited for a championship run.

After his rapid decline in recent years, I'm guessing someone working at the Fountain of Youth has a crush on Shaq-Fu!

Which means we may be lucky enough to see this come playoff time!

While the Matrix is proving he was more a product of D’Antoni’s system, the rebirth of the Diesel after a slow start is the main reason Kerr’s gamble suddenly looks ingenious. But not satisfied and acknowledging another scorer on the wing could open things up even more for Nash, Amare, & Shaq, the Suns stole a legit 20-point scorer with solid defensive abilities for the unusable & expensive Boris Diaw and defensive specialist Raja Bell. While the jury on J-Rich has been mixed over the years, for the most part, the former Spartan has been stuck on some lousy teams and never had the luxury of simply playing to his strengths. Now, with a team full of superstars and a rejuvenated spirit, he’s become one of the most efficient shooting guards in the Association (18 ppg, 5 rpg, 3 apg, 47-3pt%), not to mention, is a much better defender than he’s given credit for.

Just like the Suns adjustment, Alessia changed her philosophy about wearing T-shirts and it's worked out beautifully!

I also liked their decision to get taller thru the draft!

Throw-in a change in defensive philosophy from head Coach Terry Porter that has finally started to mesh with his players once he loosened the reigns offensively, and suddenly, Phoenix is a realistic player to win the NBA Championship…in my drunk, humble opinion. With Shaq looking better than he has in three years (last 7 games: 23 ppg, 11 rpg, 3 bpg, 70 ft%), the scariest aspect for the opponent is they no longer can put all their frontcourt effort on stopping the Black Jesus Amare Stoudemire (22 ppg, 9 rpg, 55 fg%)…easily the most dangerous PF in the game. While Nash doesn’t have the same numbers he had when D’Antoni was around, not to mention he’s been banged-up, the addition of more scorers has enabled Stevie (15 ppg, 9 apg, 49 fg%, 44-3pt%) to conserve some energy & pick-n-choose his spots. And in reality, letting him take more jumpers instead of driving thru the lane might actually improve their overall productivity.

Just like the importance of having a ridiculous figure when stranded on an island with wizards, ghosts, & polar bears...

...it's important to have natural athletic ability in the NBA, and it doesn't hurt if they can also shoot the rock from deep!

While the Richardson acquisition was similar to a 5-hour energy shot laced with tequila for their offense, many folks have overlooked how valuable & efficient the Grant Hill (51 fg%) Matt Barnes (39-3pt%) combo has been at small forward. With their unselfish play, the Brazilian Sixth-man Bandit too talented not to break out of his slump soon, and the underrated glass-work & energy from PF Louis Amundson off the bench (last 6 games: 20 mpg – 7 rpg), Coach Porter’s stars have the perfect compliment of role-players to keep teams honest. Overall, unless this veteran team is on a back-to-back or nicked-up, I don’t see my handsome self investing against them all year…and I have a real serious sports prediction and investment habit!

Unlike the Nuggets without Carmelo Anthony, if you take her star away she's still MFin flawless!

As for the Nuggets, I know I sound like a broken record, but eventually the reality of playing without Carmelo will send Karl’s Krazy Krew into a tailspin. While Chauncey is a perfect leader to keep everybody believing they can step-up their game, physically, I expect the 33 year-old’s enormous responsibilities to start to wear at his overall game. While they pulled-out a 99-97 victory over the Mavericks on Tuesday at home, Dallas was without Josh Howard and just doesn’t have much of anything down-low to exploit the Nuggets.

While the Brazilian Bandit is extremely fun to watch and overdue for a huge game...

The highlight of tonight will be long stretches of the Birdman once Nene & Kenyon are in foul trouble!

Tonight, I expect Nene to be in foul-trouble by the start of the second quarter because of the Diesel, while Amare should have a field day against the undersized Kenyon “I might have been able to guard the Black Jesus five years ago” Martin. And as a result, the highlight of the evening will be the extraordinary amount of minutes available for the entertaining Chris “Birdman” Anderson.

Don't give than look Lisa Marie...I know what I'm doing!

With the Western Conference absolutely loaded at the top and the Suns currently three victories behind the Nuggets, I’m guessing Stevie Nash & Co. will treat tonight like a must win. Especially if they can jump out early, look for PHX to put their foot on the gas & attempt to demoralize Denver at home. But if you’re scared J.R. Smith might get hot from long range at home (aka Young-Rich. Now that’s a creative nickname. I wonder how his Homeboys came-up with that gem.), be my guest to pass on this lock, but considering Mr. Young-Rich is dealing w/ some legal troubles and doesn’t look too focused of late (last 2 games: 4-27 FGs, 0-6 3pters)…I’m actually using that kid as another incentive to up my play! SUNS WIN BY DOUBLE-DIGITS

As for my pick of the top Bikini in the world...TOUCH ME HERE!

Continue reading "Thursday Night Hardwood Handicapping" »

January 16, 2009

Friday Night ATS Hoops Handicapping

NBA 20-13 - NCAA 7-8 - Teasers 4-1 - Church League 69-0
NFL 23-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

While most view Jameer Nelson's ole running mate merely as a role-player, now that he's out, those cats will see how important his energy & ability to defend is for their rotation!

As a general rule for gambling gurus and Sportsbook savants, investing on an elite team on a back-to-back after a loss, especially one with a MVP candidate, is usually a no-brainer. But in tonight’s case, against a healthy Hornets squad that always plays to the level of their competition, I expect Bron-Bron to be in for a Ronny Mexico type of battle (aka a dogfight) considering at least 40% of his starting line-up will be in street clothes (Delonte West-out, Big Z-out, Ben Wallace-?).

The signing of James MFin Posey is like the decision to get a back-tat...sometimes it's necessary to get a little nasty!

The Hornets proved last week in a double-digit victory in Lakerland they have the moxy to play anywhere. Especially with the addition of Posey this off-season, Byron Scott has a tough minded wing-defender & clutch shooter to at least make King James work at both ends. On the flip-side, while Mo Williams may be the biggest reason the Cavs have a legitimate chance to host the trophy, he still struggles at times defensively and will get absolutely torched by CP3 tonight.

You believe in fate...because I believe in her Hornet colors!

Throw-in the floor-spacing Peja, the consistent inside-out offensive firepower from David West, and the improved/active play of Tyson Chandler, and I expect Coach Mike Brown to struggle finding the proper match-ups with all his injuries. HORNETS ROLL BABY!!!

Trust me Homeboys, Kevin's gonna light-up the Sactown sky!

The Kings usually act as if the ghost of Mitch Richmond is roaming the halls of Arco Arena and have been shooting light’s-out at home since Kevin Martin (last three home games: 26 ppg, 43-3pt%) finally returned from injury. Along with the Western Carolina kid on the wing, SF John Salmons (last four games: 19 ppg, 7 rpg, 4 apg, 47-3pt%) is quietly having another solid all-around year, while G/F Francisco Garcia (last three games: 17 ppg, 5 rpg, 3 apg, 63-3pt%) has the ability to cover both wing-spots without much of a letdown.

Her confident stance reminds me of Brad Miller at the top of the key...except she has much better posture!

As for the Bucks, unlike the last few years Skiles has them competing on a nightly basis, but tonight, his only decent low-post producer is out (Andrew Bogut: 12 ppg, 11 rpg, 58-fg%)…which means the recently dusted-off Gadzuric will be forced to uncomfortably defend the high-post against the crafty & suddenly dominate Mr. Miller (Last 5 games: 15 ppg, 12 rpg, 4 apg)…which also means the undersized Luc Richard & the unenthused Charlie V will be in charge of cleaning the glass.

BTW, I'm so confident I bet her an IPOD the Kings roll!

In closing...and in the house that Spud Webb built, I expect Martin to weave through over 200 screens and easily outscore Michael Redd, and the red-hot John Salmons to out-duel the suddenly pedestrian offense of Richard Jefferson. After those two match-ups conclude as I predicted, I can’t see where the Bucks buckets come from to mathematically keep this close…KINGS BY 6-12 POINTS

Before I head out and check out my Homeboy Drew Donkulous's Arizona luv, just a little reminder that Teasin' T-Bone and myself will be around all weekend giving you winners and bikinis!

When I was kid, I always wondered why Zona's players looked more like my next door neighbor than pigskin warriors!

D R E W ' S - D I S H
By: Drew MFin Donkulous...IP.com's state of Iowa scout!

Why I Have No Choice But To Root For The Cardinals

For years the St. Louis/ Arizona Cardinals have been the last place losers of the NFL never garnering any respect.

This year things may be different. (TOUCH ME HERE to read on)

Continue reading "Friday Night ATS Hoops Handicapping" »

January 17, 2009

Against The Spread Winners with Teasin' T-Bone & Insideplays

NBA: 2-1 NCAA: 1-3 Teasers 3-2

Let Insideplays worry about the hotties and the 2 ball elixer, you just need to focus on the picks and the pics!

I’m diving right in today fellas, it’s all hardwood all the time, and as you can see I haven’t had the best of luck in recent weeks, and we all know that trends change, so why not watch them change with Teasin’ T-Bone and take it to tha bank homeys!
What a coincidence, the Bulls wear red and seem to be missing something as well...like a defense.

San Antonio Spurs -3 @ Chicago Bulls

This game stuck out to me because of trends. The Bulls have an 18-22 record, which in my book is a 45% winning percentage. As of late the Bulls have taken 2 in a row with the latest being from arguably the best in the East, the Cleveland Cavaliers. On top of that, they are 4-2 in their last 6. All of this tells me that no matter who Chicago goes up against tonight, they are primed to fall flat on their face.
The Spurs know how to cover, and that sums it up!

As for San Antonio trends, they are 25-13, which is a 66% winning percentage. As of late they have dropped 2 of 3, including a piss-pounding last night to a sub .500 Philly squad. But what I really love tonight is the fact that the Spurs own the Bulls, they beat them once already this year, but are an amazing 13-2 in their last 15 against the Bulls and 6-1 ATS playing in the United Center. Spurs roll by double digits.
Butler doesn't need to be in home whites to look good, especially when they are up against mediocrity.

Butler Bulldogs -2.5 @ Illinois-Chicago Flames

We all know and have heard of Butler and what they have done over the last couple years to become the new Gonzaga, but I bet only a few of us have followed the mighty Flames from Chicago. The reason why…they are a 9-7 team that has lost 4 of its last 5 to teams like Cleveland State, Youngstown State, Wisconsin Milwaukee, and Wisconsin Green Bay. I couldn’t tell you a whole lot about the Flames either, but I know losing to those 4 teams has to mean they don’t have enough talent to hang for a full 40 minutes with the Dogs. Plus the flames are only 5-3 at home and 3-4 ATS, GO DOOOGGGGSSS!

To check out my teaser picks, just click below!

Continue reading "Against The Spread Winners with Teasin' T-Bone & Insideplays" »

January 18, 2009


NBA: 3-1 NCAA: 2-3 Teasers 3-3

NFL: 13-12 NCAA: 19-19 Teasers 15-12
I'm lookin' for a guy that's about this big, oh wait, I'll let the boys at Insideplays satisfy me today!

Welcome to Sunday Funday at Insideplays.com. After Saturdays near perfect explosion(I don’t know how the #7 Bruins can lose an 11 point lead with 5 minutes to go), I am primed and ready to mix up some NFL pigskin as well as some hoops for you. If you didn’t check out our post on Friday, our homey Drew Donkulous leads with his heart and patriotism on the Eagles/Cardinals game, CLICK HERE to check it out. As for where my benjamins are gonna sit today, and of course some scantily clad hotties, just keep readin’.
It's tough to cover up perfection, but I think the Pirates will learn from this hottie and figure it out!

Seton Hall +19 @ UCONN

Yep, I know that that the Huskies have more depth than Jenna Jamesons love canal, but that depth is also part of the reason that they will struggle today to make this a 20+ point game. Coach Calhoun will use his starters to grab a solid lead early on, then will stretch his usual 9 person rotation into a 10-11 person rotation today for the sole reason of resting the big boys for a Wednesday tilt against #22 Villanova followed by a Saturday showdown with #13 Notre Dame.
If my tube sock lover Jenna Jameson isn't worried about covering her spread, than why would Jim Calhoun be concerned?

I love the Big East this year for the fact that I think the coaching staff will constantly be thinking about the next game and the wear-and-tear that the schedule will have on his young guys. I believe that we will see many games between the upper and lower tier of the league where the bottom dwellers cover because the better team is just looking for a comfortable win. On the flip side, let me draw the line in the sand and say that we will see the exact opposite when we have two tightly matched ball clubs(ie Syracuse yesterday and Georgetown/UCONN a couple weeks ago), these games that should come down to the wire are ending up in 15 point victories simply because teams are attempting to make a point. Anyway, back to the Pirates, they average 77 points a game, which means if they come remotely close to this I don’t see how the Huskies can cover. UCONN wins by 8-10.
Ya down wit OKC, hell no not me! OKC has looked good as of late, but all good things come to an end, like when I open my eyes after an Izabel Goulart dream!

Miami Heat -2 @ OKC Thunda

Let me start by saying that I may talk myself out of this game by the time the tip off comes, but I love the fact that in the previous 3 months of the season the Thunda had won a total of 5 games, now out of nowhere they have won 3 of 4. What has changed? Absolutely friggin’ nothing. Lets get real, this is a horrible ball club that has found a mini-groove that will end sooner than later.
Will the Heat be ready or relaxed, that is the question.

What I dislike about this matchup is that the Heat are playing their 6th consecutive road game and they played and lost last night in Houston. I have concern that they will be ready to tie up their shoelaces. So if you play this, keep it light, and it will be a game time decision for me, much like deciding if that Big Mac sittin’ in the corner of the bar is gonna get a treat from T-Bone or not!



January 19, 2009

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!!!

NBA 20-15 - NCAA 7-8 - Teasers 4-1 - Church League 69-0
NFL 23-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

Welcome to the IP.com Afternoon ATS Update!!!
Wishing Halle and everyone else a wonderful MLK Day!

While Luol surely honors MLK, considering his numbers since Kirk returned, I bet he thinks Hirnich deserves a day too!

While the return of Kirk Hinrich is forcing Vinny Del Scott Baio to squeeze even more minutes from his overcrowded backcourt, Capt Kirk provides a stabling influence for the streaky unit and a defensive intensity that’s proven to be contagious. Excluding the first game he played upon his returned, the team has won two of three (victories at Toronto & against Bron-Bron) with their lone defeat coming in a five-point loss to the Spurs. Besides the obvious benefit of Larry “What picture of Danny Ferry do you have to net you 70 million?” Hughes no longer logging actual minutes, Hinrich paired with Rose gives the Bulls a defensive swagger and enables Gordon to be utilized depending on the specific match-up. And unlike in year’s past where Kirk was responsible for point guard duties, with Derrick Rose running the show, the Iowa-native can simplify things and concentrate on directing the team’s defensive sets, improve their overall ball-movement, space the floor, and hopefully knockdown some open jumpers.

What better why to enjoy the holiday than layin' around in ur PJs watching Al Harrington & Timmy T jack-up threes!

On the flipside, while it’s amazing what D’Antoni has done with a laughable roster, I expect opponents to demolish this squad as the season progresses as scouting starts to exploit their limited abilities. The Knicks lost both Friday & Saturday (at Washington and by double-digits to Philly in Gotham) as their short rotation is starting to look worn-down from the nightly track meets. Especially without a single low-post presence to ease the pressure, teams like the Bulls deep with guards & wings can simply outlast the perimeter-oriented squad.

You think Chris "Consistent Alarm Clock Malfunction while in Chicago" Duhon has the skills to slow Mr. Rose?

And while Mr. Lee has been awesome on the glass, NY doesn't have anybody to protect the paint once Rose gets in!

As for the biggest reason why I like Chicago this MLK Day, Derrick Rose is simply too strong & fast for Chris Duhon and once he gets into the paint…GAME OVA as the Knicks don’t have anybody to protect the rim. Throw-in the added hype of playing in NY and the added-drama of D’Antoni’s job search this off-season, and for once, we don’t have to worry about the Bulls coming out ready to play!

Welcome to the IP.com Afternoon ATS Update!!!
After grabbing a few wings for lunch...I'm back Homeboys!

Mayo & Conley controlling the rock for most of the shot-clock has turned the sick-talents of Mr. Gay into a jump-shooter!

Both teams are in the midst of five-game losing streak, but while the Pistons are desperately trying to find the right veteran mix to get things turned around, the Grizz have started to self-destruct and seem to be competing against each other. Especially tonight with the game on TNT, I expect Memphis’ youngsters to force some shots and to look more for the highlight reel play than an open teammate. In their last contest, with Conley & Mayo handling the rock for much of the shot-clock of their double-digit home loss to Utah, 19 ppg scorer Rudy Gay sulked on the perimeter as he managed just five shots, making one, with two rebounds and zero assists in 30 minutes….which means tonight, every time he has the pill the Pistons better turn and box out!

Trying to fit in with Iverson can be harder than trying to fit into those bottoms...for anybody but her!

While Detroit is still figuring out “Life after Chauncey” and “Life with A.I.”, Tayshaun, RIP, Rasheed, & McDyess have too much experience and confidence in each other to let this slide continue. Especially with RIP looking better with each passing game since returning from injury, the continuing development of Rodney Stuckey, and Iverson desperate to prove he’s a team player and not the culprit of their demise, I expect the Pistons to roll through the rest of January to get stronger as the season progresses. On the flipside, with the young Grizz simply waiting for their coach to be fired, things are gonna get much worse before they get better!...PISTONS BY 7-12 POINTS

If this doesn't scream: "I LOVE FRICKIN TEASERS!!!", I don't know what else to tell ya Homeboys!

With Zach Randolph, Chris Kaman, Baron Davis, & now Marcus Camby out, do you really think a team starting Brian Skinner, Mardy Collins, & possibly DeAndre Jordan will have a chance against the hottest young team in the league...TOUCH ME HERE FOR THE ANSWER!!!

Continue reading "Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!!!" »

January 20, 2009

The Robin Hood of Sports Handicapping "MUCH LUV BARACK...DO US PROUD"

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD PICKS: 32-25 ats...56%
NBA 21-16 - NCAA 7-8 - Teasers 5-1 - Church League 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN PICKS: 63-44 ats...59%
NFL 23-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

While the shot-happy Ben "No-D" Gordon spent too much time casting and started-off my MLK Day on a sour note...

...a had a bigger smile than our hat-wearing friend as my other two plays brought me some green!

Thanks to a Bulls squad more painful to watch than your doctor putting on a rubber glove, my Holiday started off like shiznit…but luckily, my remaining plays were sweeter than the posture from Alba & Eva. But like Jason Caffey & Travis Henry with a groupie and no hat in sight, I guess I just haven’t learned my lesson. While Coach Vinny Del Scott Baio-or-Ralph Machio’s inconsistent squad lost a heartbreaker in NY yesterday afternoon, their young frontcourt continues to play with more aggression and the return of Kirk Hinrich has greatly improved the team’s overall defense & ball movement.

Just like she's covering-up the goods, I expect the Bulls to cover-up for Gordon's D against the undermanned Hawks!

The only reason the Bullies didn’t pull-off a road victory in Gotham was Ben “shit…they cut backdoor on me again” Gordon went 3-15 from the field. But if you know anything about the former UConn Huskie, while his defense will never ever improve, he usually bounces back from a poor shooting night like Shawn Respert his senior year at Michigan State (BTW, Respert was the deadliest sniper in the clutch I’ve ever seen in college!). While the skeptics will tell you the undisciplined Bulls are a no-no on a back-to-back, unlike the injury-depleted Hawks who played later in the day, the Bulls played at noon and have a ridiculously deep roster to make them look much fresher than their counterparts…especially in-front of desperate and demanding United Center crowd.

With Al out, Busta has to hope Zaza can anchor the middle!

I know Hotlanta has put together an exciting run since late last year, but as every expert mentioned to start this season, their bench is extremely weak and unable to sustain any significant injuries to the starting group. Tonight, Al Horford is out again and Marvin Williams is questionable after missing yesterday’s come from behind victory after suffering a concussion this past Friday.

The Hawks are gonna think HotLanta is a tropical island after experiencing the cold-azz ChiTown weather!

Throw-in the joy of traveling to cold-azz Chicago where the strip-clubs just don’t match-up to NBA standards and a lazy, slow-footed defensive PG (Mike Bibby) dreading the embarrassment D-Rose might cause him, and I’m guessing the high-flying Hawks won’t be too exciting to be hitting the Windy City tonight…BULLS BY 8-12 POINTS

While I have no confidence in his coaching ability, how many NBA headmasters can say the starred opposite Pat Morita in a feature film & played with Nicole Eggert in a sitcom?

BTW, while Coach Vinny will forever be known as Vinny Del Scott Baio at Insideplays, after viewing the rookie coach for almost half a season I no longer see him as Charles in Charge, My Cousin Vinny’s nephew, or a Head-n-Shoulders Shampoo model. With arms folded and a sour-puss scowl (I swear he’s sucking on a lemonhead) his demeanor is identical to every Sophomore High School Basketball Coach in the Suburbs of Chicago that snags-up all the Cougars in the stands...don’t know what that really means, but just thought you should know.

They way Salmons has been shooting lately, he sometimes overreacts when he actually misses a shot!

Since your asking…Yes, I will continue to invest against the Nuggets until my bankroll is destroyed. The adrenaline of proving they can win without Carmelo will eventual catch-up to this undermanned squad…especially tonight on a back-to-back after Chauncey, Nene, Kenyon, & J.R. averaged 40 minutes apiece! And trust me like you trust your bookie Homeboys, the physical battle and emotional drain after a 2-point loss in Houston will keep this team from rolling over a bad, but sharp-shooting Kings squad.

Here's the skinny fellaz, the Nuggs will be tired tonight!

Speaking of Sactown, they haven’t played since Friday and should be dying to hit the court after an embarrassing defensive performance in a 129-122 home-loss to the Bucks. While their defense may be incurable, they are absolutely loaded with shooters on the wing and can bring Nene away from the paint by using the crafty Brad Miller at the top of the key. Especially with the tired-legs for Denver, I simply expect the Kings to put-up too many points for the Coach Karl’s short roster to match. Call me crazy, drunk, & horny, but I’m also thinking of playing the moneyline...KINGS IN AN UPSET

I love Teasers and if you do too...TOUCH ME HERE

Continue reading "The Robin Hood of Sports Handicapping "MUCH LUV BARACK...DO US PROUD"" »

January 21, 2009

Home of Hump Day Hardwood ATS Luv

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 33-27 ats..55%
NBA 21-18 - NCAA 7-8 - Teasers 6-1 - Church League 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 63-44 ats..59%
NFL 23-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

With the undersized & non-existent defense of the NY frontcourt, if I was David Lee, Al Harrington, & Tim Thomas...

...I'd just turn and walk away if I saw Shaq's eyes wide!

After yours truly anointed the Suns as a major player for the Western crown, the veteran star-laden squad suddenly went into a mini-slump. But to tell you truth, having lost three of four including the MLK embarrassment in Boston, just like laying on some charm for a hair-dresser on the rebound, the time is right to make a move. Especially with the added emotion of facing their former headmaster (who gets the majority of the credit for the Suns dominance the last few years), I expect to see the Suns play with some playoff passion tonight.

Especially with the Black Jesus off his worst game as a pro, I expect Nash & Co. to feed the fired-up beast all night!

While D’Antoni has been magical with a sub-standard roster that has overachieved, without any type of inside presence the Knicks are extremely susceptible to teams with low-post scoring…oh yeah, and tonight, they face a fired-up Amare (aka Black Jesus) coming off the worst game since entering the Association (30 min, 0-7 FG, 3 pts) and hopefully the Diesel (probable-general maintenance) who always enjoys showcasing his dominance on the biggest stage…aka The Garden! As for a lil refresher on who will be trying to stop these two, the undersized rebounding specialist playing center known as David Lee, Al “I hate D” Harrington, and Timmy “I really hate D” Thomas. Btw, I luv the new injury report moniker created by Shaq. While the NFL already gave us “General Sourness”, the Kazaam star needed to serve under his own commander…”General MFin Maintenance!”

Just like the Suns, no matter how you look at Miranda...

...things just seem too good to be true today!

Honestly, across the board things are in Phoenix’s favor tonight. Neither Wilson Chandler nor Q-Richardson have the athletic ability to hang with Jason Richardson...so I fully expect Coach Porter to insist J-Rich attack the rim more aggressively. Throw-in a Suns staff and squad that knows the unique nuances of D’Antoni’s offense (I know you could argue Coach D knows the Suns personnel, but in my opinion that means very little as NY doesn’t have the talent to stop them) and my honest opinion that Amare will absolutely destroy them, and I can’t see how this thing doesn’t reach double-digits tonight…SUNS BY 9-14

Quietly having a phenomenal year, look for JT to have no problem turnin' the corner & raisin'-up on Ridnour 2night!

*Only if Bogut (doubtful) is out. Check in later, we’ll keep you posted

Without Andrew Bogut manning the paint, the Bucks slide from an average defensive and rebounding squad to a horrid FG-allowing and glass cleaning unit. From all accounts, the Australian is out again tonight leaving the ghost of Dan Gadzuric, Charlie “No-D” V, & Malik Allen protecting the paint. While most don’t think of the Mavs as a low-post power, when the match-up presents itself, the German Diggler can methodically & efficiently control the game against an undersized opponent. Throw-in the recent return of the suddenly more aggresive Josh Howard, Antonie Wright’s length & defensive prowess that should cause problems for Michael Redd, the recent fountain-of-youth play from J-Kidd, and arguably the deadliest sniper for the season in J-Terry, and I expect Dallas to pull away late…MAVS BY 8-13 PTS

Considering a Saluki is a dog and the position she's in, I'm guessing it's a sign from the Gambling Gods to roll with SIU!

Southern is much too talented and disciplined of a squad to be sitting in the bottom-half of the MFin MVC (8-10, 3-4). That being said, with two freshmen starting, it’s understandable it’s taken them some time to gel. While conference road contests can be dangerous for youngsters (even if it is against the lousy 4-win Sycamores), the Saluki kids are extremely disciplined and been playing phenomenally of late:

Fr. G Kevin Dillard - last 8 games: 17 ppg, 5 apg, 50 fg%, 50-3pt%
Fr. G Ryan Hare - last 4 games: 11 ppg, 5 rpg, 52 fg%, 50-3pt%

Obviously their rapid development has been aided by 8th year floor general & sharp-shooter Bryan Mullins (10 ppg, 6 apg, 46 3pt%), the unselfish and improved frontcourt play from the 6-8 duo of Carlton Fay & Tony Boyle (20 ppg, 12 rpg, 78 ft%) and the return of 6-11 Fr. Center Nick Evans from a broken hand.

Unlike back in the day, ISU doesn't have a secret weapon!

As for the (4-14) Larry Birds’, they’ve lost five of six, been decimated by injuries to their backcourt, including the last two games for leading scorer & floor general Harry Marshall, and overall, shoot under 40% on the collegiate hardwood. Btw, Marshall is questionable again tonight, but does it really matter if he plays? What does it say about a team when their PG is the leading scorer, has just as many turnovers as assists, and shoots 36% from the field? In closing, the Salukis are playing with extreme confidence and seem ready to make a run, while the Sycamores have once again bored-off their already miniscule fandom…SOUTHERN BY 6-10 POINTS

If you like teasers as much as me...TOUCH ME HERE

Continue reading "Home of Hump Day Hardwood ATS Luv" »

January 22, 2009

Super Bowl Pick, ATS Hoops, & Bikini Luv

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 35-30 ats…54%
NBA 21-20 - NCAA 8-8 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 63-44 ats...59%
NFL 23-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

The NBA has blackballed my NBA ATS magic the way they blackballed the former boat captain of Milwaukee's Best!

Just like the inevitable “Charlie Sheen is caught partying with a relaxation therapist and his significant other is shocked”-annual event, the Robin Hood of the handicapping hardwood is amidst his first major losing streak of this long season. Obviously, your disappointment and inability to purchase top-shelf Tequila this week pains me to no end, but instead of kissing the area that makes Miranda Kerr seem like an angel, like Kellen “crotch-rocket” Winslow... “I’m a MFin Warrior!” If anything, take solace in the fact my record is still above .500 and overdue for one of those win-streaks that makes those new to Insideplays think I used to be in intern for Sam “Ace” Rothstein. But before we hit-up the limited hoops docket tonight, I think it’s time to break out the first addition of my Super Bowl Sunday thoughts.

Considering she's doing a better job of covering-up than my azz on the hardwood, I think it's time for some Pigskin luv!

First thought, the limited use of the Edge & Fast Willie during the season is one of the biggest reasons these teams are playing in Raymond James Stadium. Unlike the Skins & Cowboys who overused their RBs early in the year and saw them breakdown late, James & Parker entered the postseason fresher than ever. For the Cardinals, during the first 16 weeks of the season Edgerrin carried the ball an average of eight times per game for a total of 414 yards. From the season finale thru the playoffs, the former Hurricane has doubled his amount of carries (16.5 per/gm) for 303 yards. On the Steelers side, from week four thru week 15, Parker averaged just over nine runs/gm, but in his last five the speedster has averaged over 23 touches/gm. While injuries had something to do with this, the end result is the same, fresh tailbacks come December is what you need to survive.

While Coach Tomlin is the shznit, had a decorated career at ECU, and tons of sitcom success, has his luck run out?

As for what direction I’m going, if the game was played tonight I’d be placing my rapidly shrinking bankroll on the Cardinals getting a Tuddie. And just like the number of reasons Hugh Hefner had to get out of bed over the last couple years, I have three gems for ya:

Considering Zona is used to seeing tailgaters in bikinis, I bet they'll fit in fine w/ the Florida atmosphere next Sunday!

Since Week Six, the farthest south the Steelers have traveled is Tennessee, with nearly every other recent contest in terrible conditions and/or at home. While I’d be more idiotic than John Paxson thinking he should corner the market on overrated guards to knock Pitt's aggressive D, am I that crazy to think their dominance might have had a little to do with snow flakes & frozen fields? And with the exception of San Diego two weeks ago, the teams they’ve played of late have been one-dimensional rushing attacks with no weapons on the outside…and even against SD, it was in the low 20s with snow flurries at home. On the Cardinals side, considering all their home-games had tailgaters wearing bikinis, and more specifically, the last four weeks they’ve played three in Phoenix and one in Carolina, I’m guessing their aerial attack is happy this game is in Florida instead of Pittsburgh.

Watch Warner & Co. spread out the Steelers and give those beastly WRs an opportunity to gouge-out some yardage!

SPREAD CARDINAL…cousin of the Spread Eagle w/ xtra legs
As mentioned, besides playing Phillip in shitty weather, Pitt has been able to load-up the box to stop the run and blitz from anywhere against limited passing attacks. But on Super Bowl Sunday, they’ll face an accurate veteran QB who’s seen every blitz, defense, and has NBA-sized playmakers on the outside (Fitz, Boldin, & Breaston). While skeptics will tell you Warner doesn’t have the speed to avoid Dick LeBeau’s rush, with the cushion his corners usually leave, look for Zona to spread three-wide and for Kurt to quickly release to his ridiculously athletic WRs to do what they do best…gash the opponent with yards after contact. Especially with the balance the Cards have established of late with a fresh Edge, the downhill thunder from Tim “I’d run the other way if I saw him in an alley” Hightower, and the dump-offs to the speedy J.J Arrington, I expect the Cardinals to control the clock more than the Steelers next Sunday.

Just like the media trashed the Cardinals, they trashed this Laguna Beach hottie and she still walks with confidence!

No, I’m not talking about Jenna Jameson & her girlfriends in “Where the Boys Aren’t 16: Dark Angels”, I’m talking bout MFin Zona. Widely regarded as the worst team to ever make the playoffs and led by a coach full of Steeler knowledge and stars with a passionate agenda. First off, I love that Anquan was so fired-up last week and now has two weeks to rest his hammy and continue to fester with disciplined passion. Secondly, I love Edge rested and itching to prove he’s still an elite back in the NFL. But most importantly, I love the moxy & confidence of Ken Whisenhunt, not to mention the six years he spent with the Terrible Towels. While everybody jumped on the Cards for playing like shiznit after clinching early, the wise Whisenhunt insured his players were rested & healthy for the postseason, didn’t show the league anything to scout over the last few weeks, and built a “us against the world” mentality to take them over the top. As a result, it’s gonna take some magic from my insiders to convince me not to take the Cards straight-up as well!

A rested Dwight will destroy the Celts inside tonight!

While the Celts have rebounded from a mild-slump with a six-game winning streak, the veteran squad will be playing their fourth game in six nights and coming off a back-to-back. On the flipside, the even hotter Magic (seven straight and 15 of last 17 overall) haven’t played since last Saturday and understand the stage is set tonight to prove to the league they’re the Beast of the East. Speaking of the Beast, D-Howard has been absolutely dominate of late (last four games: 22 ppg, 17 rpg, 3 bpg) and will be squaring off against the a 280 lb 6-10 center coming off a shoulder injury that played his first game in two weeks last night (23 min, 2 pts, 7 reb, & 1 blk).

Unlike our friend, Paulie looks a little larger this year!

Throw-in the somewhat plumpish Paulie still working off the post-Finals party buffets facing the a duo of 6-10 sharpshooters (Rashard Lewis 19 ppg, 42 3pt% - Hedu’s last 5 games: 21 ppg, 61-3pt%), and the emergence of Orlando’s newfound dominate backcourt of Jameer Nelson (last 5 games: 22 ppg, 8 apg, 61-3pt% ) & Courtney Lee (last 6 games: 11 ppg, 57-3pt%) and the reemergence of the most hated Dukie of all time J.J. Redick (last 8 games: 18 for 29 from behind the arc)…not counting Chicago’s vote of Soft Luol Deng or Motorcycle Jay Williams. Seriously, did you check out those numbers…that’s the most amazing group of D-Howard floor spacers I’ve ever seen! And I haven’t even mentioned the distractions the Celtics had yesterday in South Beach or the game-planning they’ll being doing for tonight’s parties in Orlando! MAGIC ROLL AS BOSTON CALLS IT QUITS EARLY 2NIGHT

While this green isn't exactly UW-Green Bay green, I'm giving it and her the benefit of the doubt for tonight!


Continue reading "Super Bowl Pick, ATS Hoops, & Bikini Luv" »

January 23, 2009

Home of the Hot Friday Night ATS Party

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 63-44 ats...59%
NFL 23-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 36-31 ats…54%
NBA 21-21 - NCAA 9-8 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

Ok Bojana, sorry. I know my picks have sucked lately, but trust me, I'm the Robin Hood of the Hardwood for a reason!

...and cuz A.I. give me a smile when I asked bout 2night!

BTW...if this makes you feel old, you should be thankful I didn't post a pic of Allen at G-Town...damn was he sweet!

Dallas in the middle of a cold-azz trip lookin' softer than Vinny Del Baio's Bulls, Mo-Town with a healthy RIP, Iverson looking to prove he's still a winner, and too many driven DET veterans looking to roll
Rasheed handles the German Diggler and THE PISTONS WIN EASILEY

Before we hit-up more in the Association, u want Greggy G's early...
* Just scroll past the pic of my Homeboy Latrell lookin' sweet as always

Like with the Pistons, while it many not be sexy to bet on the white guys in the NBA, just like in other industries...

...sometimes they can suprise you!

With Dunleavy healthy for a couple games, look for Indy to mak a passionate push the next few weeks to get back in the race. As for the bits & pieces from Houston still around on this trip, I don't expect too much from Adelman's strange roster...PACERS BY A COUPLE

Before we hit-up more in the Association, u want Greggy G's early...
* Just scroll past the pic of my Homeboy Latrell lookin' sweet as always

I mean this as a compliment Mileth, I luv the Thunder and I luv thighs of that moniker if your involved!

Seriously Mileth, no matter how u stand, they look flawless!

Speaking of da Thunder, I luv how Mr. Durant is making Mr. Green like Mr. "No-Tippin' but sweet at ball" Scottie Pippin!

Trust me on two things Homeboys...KD, Westbrook, Green, & Collison desperately needed Kristic in the middle, and new Coach Scottie Brooks is gonna be there for a long time. As for the Clippers, they don't really care for their headmaster and everybody not from the NBDL is injured. And as my Homeboy Garth Brooks would say (sorry, I went to ISU and the country boys f*cked me up)...and the THUNDER ROLLS

When S-Jax's in the mood, he can be redonkulous!

BTW...also my nickname for Lisa...Lisa Marie Redonkulous!

After the Lakeshow and the young guns in Blazerland, I look for Bron-Bron & Co. to be thinking about enjoying the weekend out West. On the Warriors tilt, Jackson has been filthy of late and Maggette is finally back...GST IN AN UPSET

...speaking of Redonkulous
By ur friend n mine...Drew Donkulous

I hear ya girl, time to get down to business w/ Drew's Dish!

Continue reading "Home of the Hot Friday Night ATS Party" »

January 24, 2009


NBA: 4-1 NCAA: 3-3 Teasers 3-3
Determination and that look in our eyes is what allows Inside Plays and Teasin' T-Bone to bring you winners 64% of the time, and smooth sculpted track legs never heard anyone either!


Today brings a full slate of roundball action, and I am finding the most luv from the Big 10, so without further ado, lets see where my cabbage is going to sitting for most of the day(until my buddy Sharky has to double me up!!!).
Orange Crush sweater kittens up top, home whites down below....winna, winna, chik'n dinna!

Wisconsin @ Illinois -6

To start off, I absolutely love how Bruce Weber has pulled this Illini team together to become a contender for the Big Ten crown. When I look across how this team does it every game, it became very clear to me that they are the true definition of a team in college hoops standards. Illinois has four players that all average between 11 and 12 points a game.
Sharapova wishes she was in Australia right now while the Badgers are feeling like they just took a banana somewhere after their OT loss in Iowa City.

Meacham & McCamey at guards, Davis at forward, and Tisdale in the center position. And the root cause of them being so balanced is that they are some of the most disciplined and unselfish passers in the country. This is a team that averages 20 assists a game…the formula is simple, ball movement that stretches a defense that leaves high percentage shots.
Home whites always treat you well in conference play!

As for the Badgers, they are in the middle of a good old fashioned shart that trickles down your leg. With 3 straight losses, 2 of them on the road, I don’t see how this squad is anywhere motivated to pack the suitcase again and go up against a hostile Orange Crush crowd.
Penn State, the land of higher learning and hardcourt thumpings!

Iowa @ Penn State -6

The Hawkeyes pulled one out of their backside earlier this week by taking down the Badgers in OT. But an already lightly talented Hawk squad is without Cyrus Tate again and learned earlier this week that one of their young phenoms, Tucker, is academically ineligible for the rest of the season. Yes, they did win without both of these guys on Wednesday, however playing on the road is a much different experience especially for the guys that are used to keeping their warmups on all game and now have to provide valuable minutes and scoring.
PSU has two equally talented guards, kinda tough to pick which one to focus on isn't it?

Iowa is going to have to figure out how to stop a solid two pronged guard attack from Penn State. Battle and Pringle throw up about half of the Lions points and I don’t believe the Hawks have enough talent or depth to keep these two at bay, and with the nimble Jamelle Cornley on the inside this could be a very long game for the Hawks. Plus the fact that PSU is 12-2 at home while the Hawks are 2-6 on the road, only beaten The Citadel and then Kansas State at a neutral site. Expect Iowa to be very cold once again from behind the arc and this one gets out of hand early.

Continue reading "HANDICAPPING AND BIG 10 PICKS" »

January 25, 2009


NBA: 4-1 NCAA: 4-4 Teasers 4-3
Join us today at Insideplays where we will discuss the roundball and a couple spreads, is that okay with you?

Welcome to Sunday Funday fellas, and I have to say I have some bitter sweet emotions coming into today cause I had more combinations working with the Penn State/Iowa game yesterday than you can shake a stick at. And my one loss yesterday was the fact that Iowa covered the 6 points, but I have to tell you that I have PSU teased with almost everything I touched, and since that made the points -2 for the Nittany Lions, I have to admit that it was a very exciting last 5 minutes of the game watching them come from 14 points down.
Although Saturday looked pretty good.....
I think Sunday looks even better!

But that was yesterday and we all know that Sunday brings new ballers, new ATS lines, a slightly different level of intoxication, and most importantly an all new spread of Inside Plays ladies. And for those that are loyal fans(like my homey C Witt who brought these trends to light for me), you know that I am a trend guy, and I need to let you know that I have been following the moneyline for a while and tracked it closely over the last week, here is what I found.
After reading the trends below, you may want to ride me like a surfboard, right after my lady Jarah gets done!

In NBA action, there have been 27 games where a team is -200 or above, out of those games only 3 have lost, which is an amazing 89% winning percentage. Looking at the same thing for NCAA, there have been 35 games and 28 winners, posting an 80% winning percentage. But when you only look at NCAA for -300 or above there have been 21 games and 19 winners, which is an even more impressive 91% winning percentage. I give you these trends to keep your eyes open, cuz big daddy Teasin’ T-Bone has put some parlays together that has made very happy. So lets get to the action!
At least someone looks good in the Bulls red colors, cuz we know the men in the Association would rather not put these colors on.

Chicago Bulls @ Minnesota T-Wolves -5

When I think of the Bulls of late, a song comes to mind… ‘Where oh where have my Chicago Bulls gone, where oh where can they be?’ After dropping their last 4 in a row, both straight up and against the spread, and 3 of the 4 at home, they are now tasked with going into the T-Wolves turf where Minnesota has won 8 of their last 10 overall and 5 of their last 6 home games.
There ain't nuttin' better than your own home floor, it makes everyone look like a slice of heaven!

Add in the fact that Drew Gooden has a sore groin(whether it is his sphincter or his taint is still to be determined), and I don’t know how Vinny Del Scott Baio is going to find a rotation that can or wants to stick around and play all 48 minutes. I really believe that Al Jefferson will walk all over Aaron Gray today, but the magic will come when Telfair and Foye are on the court at the same time, cuz Telfair will keep Rose busy and Foye can score well enough on his own, but with Gordon on him it will be that much easier. T-Wolves by double digits.



January 26, 2009


GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 65-44 ats...60%
NFL 25-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 39-33 ats…54%
NBA 24-23 - NCAA 9-8 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

Before we hit-up my ATS Magic, here's a few quick thoughts:
While I can see dumb-azz hardwood fans falling in luv with T-Time's abilities, I didn't think Pax fell into that catagory!

With more lottery selections the last few years than a white-trash dude at Citgo, it’s un-frickin-believable the Bulls have nobody worth a damn in the frontcourt. Yesterday, the combination of Al Jefferson & Kevin Love dominated the Bullies for 58 points & 24 rebounds in another come from behind loss that was beyond painful to watch. I know the media swirl is gaining for the ousting of Vinny Del Scott Baio, but the real problem is fan-favorite GM Johnny Pax. I hate to say it, but until he’s gone, this thing will never get turned around.

Besides being absolutely breathtaking, the Slumdog hottie was exceptional in my favorite movie since Rad!

The great Greg Gamble had a birthday this past Sunday Funday and as part of the festivities was treated to a phenomenal movie and introduced to the new Bollywood rep for Insideplays Freida Pinto...she's stunningly flawless Homeboys. And trust me, see it soon. It is the absolute shiznit!

While it seemed like an easy decision for Whisenhunt to give the keys to Warner, you'd be suprised how many coaches would've opened the year with this dude!

I’ve desperately tried to jump off the Zona +7 bandwagon (for my initial Super Bowl thought...TOUCH ME HERE and scroll down), but can't get passed how the Cards spread attack and talented WRs have a huge advantage against the extremely pedestrian coverage skills for Pittsburgh’s corners.

Just like these, Warner's Pro Bowl duo is tough to contain!

I know if Kurt Warner gets knocked around early it usually results in a brutal overall performance, but with all the former Steeler coaches on Whisenhunt’s staff and two weeks to prepare, I just don’t see how they allow that to happen...so I'm still taking the Cards!

I hear this tall dude is playing against the Knicks tiny frontcourt...and even if he isn't, I still like the Rockets!

Like an adult entertainer after a retirement hiatus, her next few films always seem to be full of passion …even on back-to-back to scenes. Similarly, while the Association and investments on a back-to-back road team is dangerous, Sunday Funday saw the Rockets welcome back Ron-Ron & T-Mac to the floor after an extended absence and the result was an impressive victory in Mo-Town without Yao Ming. Speaking of Ming, considering he was trying to convince the coaches to let him play last night, I have a feeling the trip to the Garden in Gotham will ensure he’s on the floor tonight.

While sporting a sexy style can work in Hollywood, in the Association, eventually the team with genuine talent prevails!

As for the Knicks, while they continue to play well-above their talent level, the undermanned squad will be playing their fifth game in eight days with a PG (Chris Duhon) with a bad-back forced to play over 40 minutes in a loss to Philly Saturday. Especially of Ming plays, the Knicks will be in major trouble as they have nobody with the size to defend the frontcourt. Throw-in the added energy from some superstars fresh off a stint in street clothes, and I expect the Rockets to put-on a show tonight…ROCKETS BY 8-14 POINTS

Considering James led them in scoring as a Freshman, how talented are the Warriors if he's now fourth as a Junior?

BTW, when you check out the Warriors tonight, don't be suprised to see all five starters looking more fit than this!



January 27, 2009


GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 65-44 ats...60%
NFL 25-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 40-34 ats…54%
NBA 24-24 - NCAA 10-8 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

With Boozer out, Millsap hurting, and AK-47 maybe heading to season ending surgury...I think the devil is in Utah!

Having only played twice since last Wednesday and coming off an embarrassing loss in Hollywood Sunday, I expect Popovich’s trio of superstars to look sharp from the onset tonight. On the Salt Lake City side, all the injuries have started to take a toll on Jerry Sloan’s undermanned roster and forced an already hobbled Deron Williams (back/ankle), Paul Millsap (knee), AK-47 (foot), Okur (aging, tall, white-dude) to play way too many minutes thus far.

This has to be a sign...I don't see any Jazz records playing and I'm guessing she's wearing some Spurs on those boots!

Speaking of AK-47 (questionable), it’s possible he might be headed to season-ending surgery in the next couple days, so don’t be surprised if the atmosphere in Utah is extra dire if he’s sitting in street-clothes. Overall, the Jazz have lost five of their last seven, are currently on the outside looking in at the playoffs, and were absolutely murdered in Denver Sunday by a Melo-less Nuggets squad 117-97.

Let's just say I don't think Okur has much of a chance!

So don't be suprised if she's right and Timmy scores ova 30!

As for a specific match-up tonight, with Boozer out, Millsap undersized, AK-47 running on one foot, and Okur not what you’d call a defensive specialist, how do you think Timmy D is gonna look after only playing 27 minutes against the Lakers? Especially with C Matt Bonner (45-3pt%), SG Roger Mason Jr. (45-3pt%), Bruce Bowen (45-3pt%), & Michael Finley (38-3pt%) to space the floor to prevent the Jazz from doubling, I expect the Demon Deacon to dominate the paint to the tune of 30 & 15. Throw-in the slashing creativity of Manu & Tony Longoria against the injury-ravaged frontcourt, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the Spurs won by double-digits tonight…SPURS BY 6-12 POINTS

While the legacy created by Keady is timeless, I actually believe Painter might be more successful in the long-run!

I know during the Bo Ryan Era you rarely collected much dinero if you invested against the Badgers at home, but just like those latest pictures of Jessica “I ate Tony Romo” Simpson, things no longer look as sexy in Madison. Wisconsin has lost four-straight, including two heartbreakers in OT, and just doesn’t have the offensive fire-power to keep-up with the top-tier teams in the Big Ten. Leading scorer Marcus Landry (13 ppg, 4 rpg) would be a roll player on just about every ranked team in the country, while 6-0 Jr. G Trevon Hughes (12 ppg, 42-fg%) is another example of a Ryan-Era overachiever.

While the Boilermakers seemed to relax a lil ova the holidays, they're back on their feet and looking sweet!

On the flipside, after a two game slide just after X-Mas, the Boilermakers have easily looked like the best team in conference and were extremely sharp this past weekend winning at Minnesota 70-62…and yes, that’s the same Gopher squad that won at Wisconsin in OT two weeks ago. And the game prior to that for Coach Painter, Purdue beat the Badgers in West Lafayette by double digits.

As for my theories, Asian blondes are either dancers or hairstylists, and late in the year take the conf. road dogs!

As for a Greggy G Gambling Theory, while early in the year even elite teams struggle in conference road games, as the season progresses, those same teams usually find the right mojo away from home…even though the spread represents all the money Vegas won early in the year on the home-dogs. If that confused you, just trust me, the Boilermakers have too much speed, size, and confidence to let the methodical approach from the Badgers screw with Coach Painter’s relentless attack…BOILERMAKERS BY 5-10 POINTS

The Bears have been performing with confidence at home!

Want to read why and see more ladies...TOUCH ME HERE


January 28, 2009


GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 65-44 ats...60%
NFL 25-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 42-35 ats…55%
NBA 25-24 - NCAA 11-9 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

While I'm not as confident as when this guy was blowin'-up my cell, I honestly luv what I've played 2night!

And unlike our friend, I'm not faking...these picks are legit!

After some overachieving to start the year, Coach Tiny-Tot Frank’s squad has been one of the worst teams in 2009. Devin Harris's relentless attacks to the cup early-on have now transformed into bruised-ribs and more jumpers, Vinasanity is back to being a malcontent simply waiting for a trade, Bobby Simmons still starts, and they are one of the few teams with a worse record at home.

I honestly put this pic up because she initially had a kick-azz Toronto Rap top on, but now it's stuck on the fridge!

On the Raptors side, since Jose Calderon returned the Raps have won two straight and seem poised to return to the playoff picture. Jermaine O’ften-injured has also returned recently and has been more efficient in limited minutes off the bench and complemented the suddenly active duo of the Boshinator and the sudden emergence of 7-foot sharp-shooter Andrea Bargnani (thru January- 21 ppg, 7 rpg, 50-fg%, 50-3pt%). RAPS KEEP ROLLIN

I'm calling it now Homeboys...Chuck for Bulls GM!!!

If you were anything like me as a youngster, even if you were a regular getting to second base, there was always one that busted your balls and kept you going back for abuse (aka...the Bulls). Not to mention she had a Dad knowing his daughter was a bitch and it was his fault (aka...John Paxson) and a brother that tried to be cool but never realized the only reason he was popular was a slutty sis with a back-tat (aka...Vinny Del Scott Baio because he was in Phoenix).

Doesn't she remind u of the girl I describe in the Bulls intro?

Yes, I currently hate the Bulls and can’t believe how wrong I was to think GM Johnny Pax would be a savior in Chi-town. That being said, they have too much talent to lose to a NBDL-squad like the Clippers…especially on the road without the added pressure of a fan-base ready to trade in the back-tat hottie for a crappy-porn video with repeating scenes. The Clippers are the worst squad in the Association with what they're currently putting on the floor, and I honestly believe their so-called stars are in street-clothes because they want Dunleavy fired.….and I'm investing on it because it’s on TV and I’m staying in tonight. BULLS ACTUALLY LOOK SOLID AND WIN EASY

After winning against Kobe last night, I'm guessing the Bobs are treating today like a vacation...meaning bad news 2night!

Unbelievable MFin double OT win with a short bench in Hollywood against Kobe …and tonight, they feel the repercussions. And ignoring the undersized 7-man rotation with jetlag from the cross-country trip just a day ago, the biggest reason the 12 cents remaining in my 401K is partaking in the Blazers, Coach Grandpa Larry will be thinking about a nap and won’t have the same magic in the locker-room tonight. BLAZERS ARE DEEP, YOUNG, AND WIN EASILY BY DOUBLE DIGITS

I've always been a fan of the Supersexy Sonics...now I'm a fan of the The MFin Thunder Homeboys!


Continue reading "NBA ATS WINNERS w/ A TOUCH OF LUV" »

January 29, 2009


GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 65-44 ats...60%
NFL 25-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 46-35 ats…57%
NBA 29-24 - NCAA 11-9 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

I agree Pau...my performance last night was memorizing!

Btw, even though I dominated the ATS Docket last night, don't worry about me acting too cool for school!

Nothing like having more success than T.T. Boy at a Van Nuys pool party…4 and frickin’ 0 on Hump Day Homeboys! Especially with my Super Bowl Special coming out tomorrow, I’m almost afraid to see how many degenerates will be visiting Insideplays the next couple days. But enough about how I’m hotter than Mila Kunis in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, time to break the bank and ensure my Super Sunday Party has Caviar dipping sauce for the Funyuns and top-shelf Tequila in the Sangria (FYI, putting Tequila in Sangria makes panties drop!).

Coach Mike Montgomery's tutoring at Stanford is the reason Mark Madsen plays defense like a mad dog!

Rumor has it he also worked with Demi's trainer!

Mark my words…Mike Montgomery is gonna lead the Bears into National Title Contention the next few years. Before the debacle of coaching cocky millionaires for one of the worst run organizations in the Association, Monty led Stanford to ten straight Big Dance trips & a Final Four appearance. Now, with a rejuvenated love for the college game and a talented roster that just needed a lil tweaking, I actually believe the Bears have an opportunity to make some tourney noise this year.

I bet you didn't know this little Chicago kid has some of the best numbers on the college hardwood!

Nobody in the country has a more talented and efficient backcourt than Cal. Jr. PG Jerome Randle is lightning quick, but unlike most ballers of his ilk, rarely takes a bad-shot or attempts to make the highlight reel pass (19 ppg, 5 apg, 53 fg%, 87 ft%, 48-3pt). As for his counterpart, 6-5 Jr. Patrick Christopher combines solid athleticism with a deadly mid-range game and 3-point ability to open things-up even more for Randle (16 ppg, 4 rpg, 85 ft%, 42-3pt%). Throw-in the return of the versatile 6-6 Jr. Theo Robertson after missing last season to hip surgery (12 ppg, 4 rpg, 55 3pt%), and the Golden Bears have some of the best long-range bombers in the country!

Like our friend, Cal has plenty of length in the frontcourt!

Speaking of the bigs from Berkeley, the enthusiastic lunch-pale mentality of 6-8 Jr. Jamal Boykin (10 ppg, 7 rpg, 57 fg%) gives Montgomery a defensive bruiser that can also knock down a J (last two years: 10-20 from downtown), while 7-foot Jr. Jordan Wilkes and 6-8 260 lb. So. Harper Kemp are fundamental sound and enable the Bears to compete with any frontcourt in the country. While the rest of their bench is young, they’re extremely athletic, understand their role, and rarely take shots away from Cal’s stars.

After a couple loses, the Bears D has tightened up!

After rolling thru December & January with a nine-game win streak, the Bears finally appeared human with back-to-back losses a couple weeks ago before getting back on track last weekend against Oregon. And if you no anything about my handicapping style, I luv veteran ball-clubs after they weather a mid-season slump. While they did lose to the Bruins three times last year, this team is much more disciplined under Coach Monty and should be psyched to turn the tables tonight.

Tonight's the night the Bears stop Mr. Collison!

Speaking of the Bruins, the Vegas line is so high because not many causal betters realize how over-hyped UCLA this season. Freshman phenom G Jrue Holiday (9 ppg, 4 rpg, 3 apg, 32-3pt%) has struggled to play alongside Sr. Drew Collison, but considering he’s probably one-n-done, Coach Ben Howland seems reluctant to do much tweaking of his game. On the wing, while 6-5 Sr. Josh Shipp (12 ppg, 3 rpg, 39-3pt%) has had his moments over a twelve-year career, he’s extremely streaky, and combined with the undersized backcourt, doesn’t do enough on the boards.

While everybody usually looks more comfortable at home...

...without Kevin Love to clean the glass for them, I'm guessing my win-streak continues in Westwood!

Upfront, like Shipp, 6-9 Sr. Alfred Aboya (9 ppg, 5 rpg) has driven Howland crazy with his inconsistency and doesn’t offer more than a few put-backs. Alongside the crazy-kid from Cameroon, the Bruins sport another rebound-challenged big, 6-9 Jr. Nikola Dragovic (8 ppg, 3 rpg), who supposed to be on the court because he’s shooter….and unfortunately (or fortunately if you take my advice tonight) the youngster from Belgrade hasn’t delivered (42 fg%, 34 3pt%). As for the rest of the bunch, like Tara Reid, not much more to offer than a few flashes.

I could go on but I'm hungry Homeboys!

Overall, I think California is a much better team, has a better coach, and should dominate on the boards tonight. Throw-in the added incentive of the Bear kids after losing to these guys three times last year, and I’m probably taking this thing straight-up as well.

As for one more quick thought...TOUCH ME HERE

Continue reading "PAC-10 ATS PLAY O THE DAY w/ HOTTIES" »

January 30, 2009

Super Bowl Prop Plays, NBA ATS, & Hotties

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 63-44 ats...59%
NFL 25-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 46-36 ats…56%
NBA 29-24 - NCAA 11-10 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

The Super Sunday Funday passion is almost here Homeboys!

Last week I gave you three reason why the Cards might suprise some people (TOUCH ME HERE and scroll past Latrell if you need a refresher). While my official Super Bowl Pick will not be up until Sunday Funday, I do have some prop plays that seem too good to be true:

Edge has always been a weapon out of the backfield!

Early in his career at Indy, not many featured backs were more dangerous catching the pill out of the backfield than Edge (4 rec/gm & 30 yrds/gm). While his numbers have declined the past three seasons in Zona, Warner has dumped-off once to the former Hurricane in each of their last five contests (5 rec – 46 yards) and might be more inclined to utilize his abilities with the aggressive blitzing from Dicky LeBeau. Especially with the emphasis Pitt will placing on Larry Fitzgerald & Anquan Boldin, not to mention their ability to stretch the field, and the Cards should find some space to sneak James into the flat.

Like Edge, when you have talent, why not show it off!

O-Coordinator Todd Haley is extremely creative in getting his superstars the ball and shown the ability in the postseason to exploit teams that over pursue, and with the extra time to prepare, I can’t see how he doesn’t find a way to utilize James in the passing game. While Edgerrin wasn’t much of an option carrying the rock this season, let alone in passing game, he’s become more prominent in their game-plan, looks fresher than ever, and probably has been leaning on Haley all week to get him going early. The Cards have dropped the ball off plenty to their backs this season (Hightower 34 rec. – Arrington 29 rec.) so you know they have it in the game plan. The biggest difference on this Sunday is 3rd-down specialist J.J. Arrington is banged-up (knee), not to mention you have to believe they’ll be leaning on their vet more than the rookie (Hightower) with a Super Bowl ring at stake.

Even if the passion from the Steelers reminds us of our other favorite bowl, I actually think a Pitt blow-out helps our play!

One last thought on this play, while I may go in the other direction, many experts think the Steelers could turn this into a blow-out (they believe the public is so high on the Cards because they’re hoping this is a close game). If they’re right, I like this prop-play even more as the Cards will be throwing the pigskin around all-night with the Steelers playing somewhat of a prevent leaving the short-shitznit for our Homebody Edge. And the result...
SUNDAY FUNDAY - EDGERRIN JAMES – 3 catches 27 yards

Even if Hines is the fiercest WR since Jerry Maguire's top-client, a bum knee means he'll be limited downfield!

Call me a crazy sexy drunk, but I believe the toughest WR since Rod Tidwell is going to be more of decoy than a contributor Sunday. From everything we’ve heard, the sprained-knee is not just a tweak and could be hindered even further after taking a few shots early in the game…and you know the Cards will not shy away from contact, especially when he’s run-blocking. Throw-in a knee brace for an already aging receiver, and if he does contribute in the passing game, it's not going to be cause he's getting separation down the field.

I have a feeling Ward may be grabbin' the same thing!

Especially with the emergence of Santonio “I need shoes…do you need a dubbie?" Holmes, the underrated ability of Nate Washington, and the confidence Big Ben has in Health Miller, will they even risk throwing the ball to a player who’s timing is slightly off or unable to cut as sharply as normal. And finally, if the Steelers game-plan is to keep Warner & Co. off the field, obviously the ground attack will be heavily featured and we’ll see plenty of the well-rested Fast Willie Parker. As a result...
SUNDAY FUNDAY – HINES WARD – 3 catches 38 yards

While I don't know Mrs. Warner, considering they'll show her ad nauseam, is it wrong I wish he married Jose Lima's wife?


With that, time for some Friday Night ATS Hardwood Action, but make sure to check in all weekend for more Super Bowl magic and plenty of friendly faces from Teasin' T-Bone & yours truly!

It is gonna be fun watching the dude on the left try to keep up w/ D-Rose tonight. FYI for some of ya, that's Beno Udrih!

As I told you in their 20-point win against the Clippers, with all the criticism and backlash in Chicago over their awful start, I truly believe the Bulls were looking forward to playing outside of the United Center. The media has been all over how they’ve meshed with Coach Vinny Del Scott Baio and heavily scrutinized for every single comment about the situation at practice and on game day. Now, after a victory and playing against a bottom-feeder that nobody cares about, I expect to see another impressive performance from a team that has been extremely streaky in terms of confidence.

While the Bulls finally looked happy Wed. Night away from all the hatred in Chicago...

...I bet (legally of course), the Kings look a little tired tonight after finally getting a chance to relax at home

On the Kings side, they’ve lost seven straight and just returned home from a four-game road-trip that concluded on the other coast Wednesday. While most casual betters would believe they’d be thrilled to be home, that may be case for sleeping in their own bed, but when it comes to having the right frame of mind for basketball…trust me, it’s a bad thing! From my experiences and talking with other long-time degenerates, the first game after returning from groupie paradise is usually a debacle. Players return home and have to explain to the wife/warden why they didn’t answer their cell-phone late night and/or are excited to be home playing with their kids. On the flipside, the young single-guys haven’t figured-out how to delegate their responsibilities and have stacks of bills/mail, laundry to be done, and girlfriends desperate to have a seed planted so their set for life. Throw-in a return to hearing the city gossip on how horrible they are, and I’d be shocked if the Kings came out looking sharp tonight.

Just like how this outfit matches Irina's skin-tone, I luv the Bulls individual match-ups against the lowly Kings!

As for the specific match-ups, Derrick Rose continues to run circles around opponents and tonight he faces the slow-footed Beno Udrih. With Kirk Hinrich back, the Bulls actually have somebody that can contain Kevin Martin. The combination of Deng, Nocioni, & Sefolosha should give John Salmons all he can handle. Up front, the usually overmatched Bulls frontcourt has played much better of late (Thomas, Noah, & Gray combined for 35 pts, 19 reb, 6 blks against LA) and will be facing a strange combination of slow vets (Brad Miller & Mikki Moore) and unproven youngsters (Spencer Hawes & Ryan Thompson). And considering I’ve won my last four NBA plays, why would you doubt me? BULLS JUMP OUT EARLY AND WIN BY DOUBLE-DIGITS

It's never a good thing to make him mad!

...or this Kobe for that matter!

While it's not the Timberwolves fault, Krabby Kobe fouling out and losing at home to the Bobcats might mean Big Al & Mr. Luv are in trouble tonight. And to tell you the truth, I'm actually glad this game is in Minny and the Wolves are playing so well...it just gets us a nicer spread! KOBE SCORES 40 AND LAKERS WIN BY 20!

With that, it's now time for your Friday Special...
DREW'S MFin DISH...by: Drew Donkulous

Continue reading "Super Bowl Prop Plays, NBA ATS, & Hotties" »


NBA: 4-2 NCAA: 4-6 Teasers 4-4

NFL: 13-12 NCAA: 19-19 Teasers 16-12
I know you had a rough one last night, but dammit, this is Super Bowl weekend so step it up homeys!!

To skip my Super Bowl pick and go to Sunday's hardwood winners, CLICK RIGHT HERE!
If you have your eyes just on the pigskin this weekend, keep readin' for my ATS winna.

Welcome to Super Bowl weekend with Inside Plays, THE ROBINHOOD OF HANDICAPPING!! Although my homey Smokey has a whole different meaning to Super Bowl, I find that it is a reason to completely waste a whole weekend over-indulging in everything that you can possibly get your hands on(I prefer booze and a benjamin on a game, but whatever gives you the utopian high is all that matters), and is capped off with a football game in which you won’t remember half of the plays(tough to catch the whole thing in between jager shots and beer bongs). The point is, however you go about getting it done, just make sure to give it your all, cuz you know Teasin’ T-Bone and Greggy G will be elbow deep in somethin’ that won’t be good!
You may have to look yourself in the mirror after this weekend, but as far as I'm concerned, the future looks very bright my friends!

Before I jump into who I believe is gonna give me a reason to upgrade from boxed to bottled wine, make sure that you check out Greggy and his PLAYER PROPS RIGHT HERE. And if his props aren’t enough of an indication of where both of our heads are at, let me say politely….
Get ready for a fight on Sunday, this one will be good!

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Arizona MF’ing Cardinals +7

I absolutely love the fact that everyone has boasting confidence about the Steelers defense. I’ll be the first to admit that if the Steelers can get to Warner early, it is going to be a tough road for the Cards. But here is why I don’t believe that is going to happen. Kurt Warner(I’ll refer to him as The Doctor for the rest of the weekend) completely fits the mold of a QB that knows how to dismantle a disruptive, blitz happy defense, and there are several reasons to my beliefs.
Mr. Warner knows how to fix a franchise, and his 2nd time around he is doing it docta-like!

The Doctor has experience. He has been through this before, and it just so happens that he had a very similar offensive game plan when he took the Rams to the promise land 9 years ago. When you look at his stats it becomes very apparent that he fits perfectly against aggressive defenses(ie Carolina, Philly, and now Pittsburgh). He completes around 25 passes a game with 67% efficiency, and has only been sacked 26 times all year.
We all know where The Doctor goes for his guidance, and the sun appears to be shining down on him.

These stats are absolutely the sign of someone who has mastered the now old-school west coast offense that thrives from short slants and dump offs to the backs. There is no better way to slow down a freight train like Palamolou than to have released the ball 2 seconds before he can even touch you. And of course all of this is made possible by having an offensive line that will give him the time when needed and also be the horses up front when the sprint draw game opens up.
These aren't necessarily the line splits the Cardinals are looking for, but they look as good as the O-line has been playing, and it's perty like yer sister!

The bottom line in this game is that The Doctor will feed the pigskin pill to as many people as he can and that will keep a normally solid Steelers defense on their heels and giving up between 25-30 points. The only question now is if the Cardinals defense can pretend to be Peter North’s money-shaft-in-virgin-porn-star and play the bend but don’t break system. If they can do this, which they have the last month, then I see both teams in the mid 20’s and we get to watch one hell of a game!!

Good luck my friends, and if you want to check out my hardcourt picks, click below.

Continue reading "SUPER BOWL HANDICAPPING" »

About January 2009

This page contains all entries posted to Inside Plays in January 2009. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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