Inside Plays

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 65-44 ats...60%
NFL 25-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 48-36 ats…57%
NBA 31-24 - NCAA 11-10 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

Make sure to find the remote Homeboys...

...cause while they worry bout Fitz and the booth talks bout Mr. Ward's pimpness, Anquan's gonna catch the game winna!

But you know what really makes my Crooked Polish Happy Meal tingle...my flawless ATS PROP PLAYS...and I agree with TEASIN T

Edgerrin James Ova 8.5 Rec Yrds - Hines Ward Unda 69 Rec Yrds
ZONA +7...ZONA +7...ZONA +7...ZONA +7...ZONA +7

HAVE BLAST HOMEBOYS & MAKE SURE UR WASABI FUNYUNS HAVE A TEQUILA CAVIAR DIPPING SAUCE...ITS FRAT-TASTIC!

BTW, If you want to know why I like the Cardinals and Asians, TOUCH ME, then scroll past Capt. Latrell Sprewell

BTW2, is it me, or does dat tat kinda look like a Cavalier trapped in some Thunda...which means I'm taking the Cavs -4 n the Thunda +2

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 48-36 ats…57%
NBA 31-24 - NCAA 11-10 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

While Kordell had his moments in the black and yellow, the Steeler wearing #10 yesterday might erase those memories!

Culminated with a 3-0 Super Bowl Sunday Funday, my 2008-09 Pigskin Season came to a close with yours truly 24 games ova .500…which means I collected $196,000 on the year after the OJ was removed (FYI, I invest around 10K on every play). While Thank You Cards and Asian Adult Video salutations are unnecessary, all I ask is you tell a friend about the magic that is InsidePlays.com (IP.com). And trust me, it’s worth it Homeboys because once this thing blows-up, you’re all invited to the IP.com Party Island!

While I have more Super Bowl thoughts, an FYI, just like the outfits at the beach, my magic gets better w/ the weather!

Even though I’m exhausted from the weekend, like Tara Reid slouched over a barstool with her weird nips hanging out the side, I will continue to belly-up to the ATS dinner table. While my Hoops selections have already won me more than a few free meals at Sizzler, I’m not happy with my start, but know a magical run is on the horizon. So even if you hate the Hardwood, at least you can watch Sportscenter with some added interest this February. But before I breakout my bball picks for today, I do have a few quick thoughts on the crazy weekend:

Santonio joins Hines as a famous steeler face of our era!

SANTONIO HOLMES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Big “motorcycle-challenged” Ben was already famous. Everyone knows Hines Ward is the toughest WR since Rod Tidwell. And watching a redonkulous Steeler defensive TD can’t be considered a shocker (btw, when I'm hung-over, why does just saying the word “shocker” give me a halfie?). What’s changed since Sunday Funday is the legacy of #10.

Just like Pam on a log, Holmes performance was flawless!

The overall performance by Santonio Holmes, topped off with picturesque game winning Tuddie, has turned the tiny Buckeye into a life-long superstar. And while I joking called him Santonio “I need shoes…do you need a dubbie?” Holmes last week, I did it to make you laugh, and was amazed how many analysts and radio hosts called out the kid for being honest about his past. Congrats to you Mr. Holmes…you are the shiznit!

What happened to the Brenda Warner I knew before?

I SEE BRENDA WARNER IN MY SLEEP
As correctly predicted, I won the ova on the number of times they panned to Mrs. Warner looking nervous with arms-clasped. While that was easier than getting lucky with a chick sporting a tongue ring, the way she looked messed with my head something fierce. The more I saw her, the more amazed I was in her transformation from the last time Kurt was in the Super Bowl. Even after 67th time I saw her, I stared at the TV surprised not to see the salt-n-pepper-spiked, tight blue sweater-wearing wifie.

As soon as I saw Brenda, I turned and walked into the other room to google her old pics to make sure I wasn't senile!

Good, bad, or indifferent…and seeing her with this look during the season, I still can’t explain the out-of-body experience it caused me yesterday. Kinda like adult-star Aurora Snow when she went from long-haired innocent Brunette to make-up cluttered blonde with a druggy glaze in her eyes, I literally hit pause, walked out of the room, googled her, and returned as if I'd seen a ghost.

Could this be some foreshadowing of Mr. Phelps!

MICHAEL PHELPS HAS GLAUCOMA?
Considering there was one time when the whacky-weed hit my lips, I think its unfortunate the kid has to apologize about being a kid. That being said, his quote making it sound like it was a one-time occurrence was high-larious. Did you see the picture? That dude knows what he’s doing!

You know why she's so happy?
She just received Greg Gamble's NBA ATS winners!

Kobe has the look and Odom has his opportunity!

LOS ANGELES LAKERS (-5.5) @ NEW YORK KNICKS
Just like the rest of the elite teams in the Association when this happens, the LakeShow’s home-loss to the lowly Bobcats was bad news for everybody on Kobe’s upcoming schedule. Since the double OT loss, the Lakers have crushed their last two opponents in cities usually considered to have a “Trap Game”-atmosphere (Minnesota & Memphis). And tonight, I guarantee they’re even more focused with the game in Gotham. I know Bynum is out, but it won’t fricken matter. Did it matter in the Lakers attempt to reach the Finals last year?

If u want to scratch ur gambling itch 2night, take the Lakers!

Secondly, this game qualifies as must play in Greg Gamble’s Handbook of ATS Magic: Rule 21.4 (b) – Following an emotional Super Bowl, invest your dollars on teams with elite, passionate-driven Superstars. After a ridiculously competitive event like last night, I guarantee Mr. Bryant was watching getting even more obsessed bout winning a title without Shaq. As for their opponent tonight, the overachieving Knickerbockers are a perfect match for this flawless equation and provide a perfect venue for him to showcase his dominance. As for the absence of Bynum, shifting Pau Gasol to center and re-asserting Lamar Odom in the starting line-up might is like having to go to the doctor, but having a hot nurse slip on a rubber glove to perform the test…LAKERS BY DOUBLE DIGITS

The Spurs have been on fire lately!

SAN ANTONIO SPURS (-4.5) @ GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS
If you want to know why...TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 50-36 ats…58%
NBA 33-24 - NCAA 11-10 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

In Melo's absense, don't look know, but J.R. is actually turning into more than just a showman!

Btw, if you missed my Super Bowl Recap, the Michael Phelps Glaucoma scare, or my undefeated ATS plays yesterday…Touch Me Here

After last night's OT battle in Caly, the road weary Spurs may think the Nuggs are on skates tonight!

SAN ANTONIO SPURS @ DENVER NUGGETS (-5)
While Pop’s vets have been playing like Championship contenders of late, they also have been playing a lot of frickin games on the road of late…including last night’s OT win at the carnival that is Golden MFin St. In somewhat of an unheard of schedule in the Association, the Spurs will be playing their 7th game in the last 12 days, never with more than a day break, and with five of the last six on the road. And tonight’s back-to-back headache comes after a draining performance against Donnie Nelson’s run-n-gun show where the Big Three averaged 40 minutes apiece…not to mention the AARP role-players Michael Finely & Kurt Thomas also totaled 63 minutes of court time.

Just like our friend, Nene has some strength in those legs!

And in what usually is considered a trap-game scenario for an overused squad, after tonight the Spurs head home for a four-day recovery before flying to play the Defending Champs in Beantown. But back to tonight, of all the places to finish a trip, you think Mr. Duncan is looking forward to banging with Nene in Denver’s crazy mile-high air. Speaking of the 26 year-old beastly Brazilian, the artist formerly known as Maybyner Rodney Hilario is finally healthy and putting together a solid season (15 ppg, 8 rpg, 62 fg%), while ferociously attacking the basket and looking even sharper of late (last six games: 18 ppg , 10 rpg, 69 fg%). As for his frontcourt running-mate, K-Mart’s knee is healthier than ever, he’s been extremely active on defense, and has added a nice shooting touch to his game (50 fg%, 50-3pt%). Throw-in the rebirth of the Birdman (last five games: 7 ppg, 5 rpg, 3 bpg), and I have a feeling a tired Timmy D will have all he can handle in the paint tonight.

Chauncey's leadership has been unbelievable for the young Nuggs!

In addition, while the Nuggs surprised everybody with their play in the absence of Carmelo (elbow), the former Orangeman returned to action Friday and looked in better shape than ever (30 min – 19 pts 5 ass) and appears to be playing with a chip on his shoulder after being skipped over for All-Star Weekend. While Billups leadership was he main reason Denver is still in the middle of the playoff picture, the emergence of J.R. Smith (last five games: 18 ppg, 5 rpg, 5 apg) and Linaz Kleiza (last five games: 18 ppg, 6 rpg) during Melo’s stationary bike tour could be a blessing for Coach Karl during the second half of the season.

Just like Ambrosio's job...this will be an easy cover!

Overall, while the Spurs have been unbelievably consistent of late (winners of four straight), sometimes at the end of a road-trip those wins cause a team to have a little less urgency. As for Denver, they’ve won four of five, have an extremely underrated home-court atmosphere (19-6), are well rested, and have Mr. Melo looking to prove he’s more than just marketing gem. While Tony Longoria will have his moments slicing past Chauncey & his massive chompers, the Nuggets will have too much energy for a veteran squad thinking about heading back to the Alamo…NUGGETS BY 8-14 POINTS

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 51-36 ats…59%
NBA 34-24 - NCAA 11-10 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
***ATS UNDEFEATED ON MONDAY & TUESDAY HOMEBOYS

How much you bet (legally, of course) King James knows what Kobe did in Madison Square Monday Night?

And I guarantee he has that special look tonight!

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (-5.5) @ NEW YORK KNICKS
Just like in 2004 Cinematic Masterpiece Bella Loves Jenna, after the passionate opening scene between Jameson & Belladonna that was Kobe in Gotham-esque, Monica Sweetheart seemed captivated and stepped-up to the bed and delivered a masterful exchange with Anthony Hardwood in scene two…which is exactly what I expect from Bron-Bron tonight in-front of the New York crowd. Especially with the respectable number it opened at because of the automatic back-to-back road shift Vegas gave the Cavs because of last night’s contest against Toronto (W 101-83), jump on this early before the masses get a hold of the Insideplays magic.

The Cavs won't be relaxing like Gabrielle tonight!

In my humble, correct opinion, if CLE played in NJ tonight, maybe I’d be worried about some tired legs, but this at the MFin Garden with Spike Lee sitting front-row fellas. Especially after Mr. “I hold white-girls down sometimes” Bryant erupting for 61 and broke the great Bernard King’s scoring record, you think King James will have some extra incentive tonight to prove he’s the best baller on the planet?

Ever sense Starbury arrived, Q's defense has slipped!

And even better for this investment, who the hell is gonna guard LeBron? On Monday, Kobe was handled by the rapidly declining skills of Q-Richardson, the young Wilson Chandler, a desperation attempt from D’Antoni with Nate “Mighty Mouse” Robinson”, and the uninterested D from Al Harrington & Tim Thomas. Against the freakish size, strength, & quickness of Mr. James, I actually believe they’ll be in more trouble one-on-one, not to mention his passing skills & long-range threats spreading the floor (Mo Williams: 20 for last 40 from downtown – Wally: 41-3pt% for the year – Boobie Gibson 50-3pt% last 9 games). Throw-in the recent return of Big Z (14 ppg, 51 fg%, 48-3pt%) with his deadly jumper from the top to keep the few big-bodes of the Knickerbockers out of the middle, and the greatest 6-8 athlete on the planet will be able to attack the basket without much resistance.

While NY is married to D'Antoni's style, it's only a matter of time before da newlywed luv wears off 4 these overachievers

Finally, I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again, as the season progresses the overachieving Knicks will wear-out and teams will have a better understanding of D’Antoni’s style. Seriously, how long can a backcourt of Duhon, Nate Dogg, & Q continue to be successful? When will Al Jeff & Timmy T resort to their usual bad habits? And do people realize how inflated David Lee’s stats are because New York has nobody else in the frontcourt? As a result of these brilliant questions:
Bron goes for 40 pts & 10 dimes as CLE wins by 10

Considering he's raced past the best, I have a feeling he'll do o.k. against the artist formerly known as Mike James!

NEW JERSEY NETS (+1.5) @ WASHINGTON WIZ
For all the casual talk Vinsanity will be traded and this is a rebuilding year for the Nets...TOUCH ME HERE to keep Reading & Drooling!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 52-37 ats…59%
NBA 35-25 - NCAA 11-10 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
Not to mention my 3-0 brilliance on Super Bowl Sunday

It’s ridiculous people actually think this beastly character was taking anything other than Flaxseed Oil & eatin' right!

I agree girls, I can't frickin' believe it either!

But honestly, I usually don't care what entertainers put in their body...but in this case, I want this cracker to rot!

But overall, I’m all for the "All Natural" look!

Before we hit-up the NBA ATS Docket, while a loss is a loss, I was a hook (aka half a point) away from opening the week 6-0 last night! And did you see how on-point my predictions were for King James & Dartin' Devin's box score numbers...yeah, I'm pretty frickin sweet.

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 52-37 ats…59%

LOS ANGELES LAKERS @ BOSTON CELTICS (UNDA 206)
The Lakers are playing their fifth straight on the road in the past seven days and are coming of a back-to-back after crossing the boarder in Toronto last…not to mention Kobe can’t be too fresh after playing 75 minutes, hosting 59 shots, and taking 28 trips to the charity stripe since Monday. Throw-in no Bynum and the natural slow-down approach when two veteran heavy-weights hit the hardwood, and I expect to see LA struggle offensively, while the Zenmaster’s latest needling about “Being Soft” ensures we don’t see a let up on the defensive end.

Trust me fellas, it's gonna be a battle for every bucket!

Similarly on the Celtics side, Shuttlesworth and the festively-plump Paulie Pierce have worked overtime ballin’ without KG the last two and just played a nail-biter in Philly Tuesday. Speaking of Mr. Garnett, he’s been out with the flu, and while I don’t expect to see him saving energy on the defensive end, don’t be surprised to see an average night in the box-score from the 7-footer. And finally, back to Kobe, with Garnett, Kendrick “Suddenly I’m an Enforcer” Perkins, and the overall solid team defense from Doc’s ring-bearers, don’t be surprised to see Mr. Bryant settle for plenty of jumpers tonight.

Both teams have plenty of length to slow things down!

And finally, while the NBA regular season is usually more of a YMCA All-Star game for most in the Association, this is a Championship rematch, and at the very least, I can’t see how these teams don’t have playoff intensity protecting their own basket. Add it all up, and this is gonna be a poor-shooting night for both teams with plenty of “no-calls” from the zebras…TOTAL TONIGHT IN THE 180s

Trust me like u trust ur bookie, D-Will is playing 2night!

DALLAS MAVERICKS @ UTAH JAZZ (-3)
Having just participated in the sleep-deprived “Once a year Western team hanging w/ thongs for three days in Florida road-trip”...

...Dirk & Co. played their somewhat minuscule roster big-time minutes in Dallas last night as the young Blazers almost pulled out a 4th quarter win. And tonight, no matter who’s suiting-up for Coach Sloan’s casual-thugs, they shouldn’t be too excited to be heading to Utah.

Like this outfit, Deron will look flawless vs J-Kidd!

On the flipside, while they’ll be telling you all day D-Will is questionable tonight…trust me, he’s playing. With Williams carrying an extra heavy load cause almost half the starters are out, Sloan realized he could take advantage of an average Bobcat squad in Salt Lake City (w/out the underrated Gerald Wallace) to get some extra rest for his PG. And with AARP Kidd coming off some heavy minutes last night, look for the quiet Illini superstar (last 6 games: 24 ppg, 11 apg, 60 fg%) to maneuver his magic and get Utah’s midrange wizards plenty of easy buckets... SO WHAT I'M SAYIN' IS THE JAZZ SURPRISE BY WINNING EASY

Want more plays and more hotties...TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 53-38 ats…58%
NBA 36-26 - NCAA 11-10 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
Did you see my pic of Barry Boids lookin' skinnier than Kate Moss?

On the docket tonight, it can't look more picturesque than somebody named Dwight matched-up w/ someone Very White!

...ok, maybe it could look a lil more picturesque.

Damn I was close to being undefeated this week. My only losses, the Cavs game by a hook and correctly predicting the Laker/Celtics Unda only to lose in OT. While some may say I'm whining, I'm just trying to tell you I know what I'm doing...just like my on-point reviews of the Bulls roster back in '07! Alrighty, enough BS, let's win some paper!

ORLANDO MAGIC (-6) @ INDIANA PACERS
You know who plays center for the Pacers…two somewhat old, not particularly athletic white dudes named Jeff Foster & Rasho Nesterovic!

When your teammates think they have a better chance to score by doing this...that's not a good thing!

You know who plays center for Ron Van Jeremy’s squad…the beastliest young brotha since Busta Rhymes jacked-up Remy in Higher Learning. And for ATS-good measure, the Pacers are on a back-to-back, and Mr. Howard is coming off only 30 min. & 12 pts on Hump Day…which means LOOK OUT BELOW PACER CRACKERS!

Usually it takes awhile to find a gem like this, but today, I only needed my right-eye open to find this one in Indy!

Throw-in a Magic squad with the 2nd best road-record in the league and some extra fire as they try to prove they’re still an elite team w/out Jameer, and I expect an absolute blow-out. Especially with Indy's best baller, Danny G, hobblin' to the Break having played last night against Philly’s physical wings, and I don’t care if T.J. Ford runs past Anthony Johnson all night…Dwight’s still waiting underneath.

Like our red spandex wearing friend, I'm sure about this!

And finally, the Pacers other main scoring option, Mike "I'll be a role player in 2 years" Dunleavy, has the unfortunate tasks of trying to manuever against the most underrated defender in the league, Mickael Pietrus, while containing a sharp-shooter w/ better than advertised athleticism in Courtney Lee (47 fg%, 44-3pt%). I could go on & on like my girl Nautica Thorn, but why bother... MAGIC BY 15-20

Spreaking of match-up problems, w/out Wallace, how the Cats unathletic forwards gonna hang with J-Smith & Williams?

...that's like asking this poor top to contain these two!

ATLANTA HAWKS (+1) @ CHARLOTTE CATS O BOB
Whether Joe Johnson plays or not, I luv the team that Spud Webb built tonight. Without the underrated Gerald Wallace flying in from everywhere to fill-up the stat-sheet, Marvin Williams & Josh Smith’s ridiculous athleticism is gonna be shadowed by the beefy-Boris Diaw & Adam “why is everybody else so fast” Morrison. While Diaw can cause some match-up problems for the more tradition PFs with his versatility, as professional scout of the hardwood, the freak that is “J-Smoove” (aka Josh Smith, aka why the f*ck isn’t it J-Smooth) is gonna absolutely destroy the Frenchman!

I knew Diaw was undersized at power forward, but I didn't know he was shorter than my Homeboy Snoop Dogg!

In addition, while Emeka Okafor has been solid in the middle this season, the Hawks just got Al Horford back and can now move the USSR-hitman (aka Zaza Pachuila) into a more comfortable role…coming off the bench and whacking Okafor without worrying about fouling out.

You know why she's chillin', she's been rollin' w/ Greggy G!

While Raymond Felton will surely fly past Mike “No-D” Bibby with ease, the headband wearin' bomber will make-up for it w/ more than a couple from deep…which means you'd be crazier than Heather Locklear & Nick Nolte to invest ur hard earned dollars on the Cats O Bob!HAWKS BY 6-10 POINTS

With that Fellas, have a weekend that make Mike Phelps proud, make sure to check out Teasin' T-Bone Saturday & Sunday, and enjoy...

...the magic of this classy outfit and Drew's Dish!

DREW'S MFin PIGSKIN FREE AGENT DISH
By ur friend n mine...Drew Donkulous

TEASIN’ T-BONE’S HARDWOOD ATS : 56%
NBA: 5-2 NCAA: 5-6 Teasers 4-4

For those that are only weekend warriors, you missed one hell-uva week with Greggy G at the steering wheel. He was so smooth and on point all week that it reminded me of Ice Cube in Boyz-n-tha-Hood, cruizin’ down Crenshaw Blvd. in his ’64 Impala, just letting it drop and hop! To see Greggy’s stuff, CLICK HERE!

Time to pull up your socks and get ready, cuz Inside Plays is always ready for a good day on the hardcourt!

As for me, other than riding Double G like a brokeback mountain boy toy, I am coming off an undefeated Super Bowl Sunday in which Inside Plays hit three pigskin picks for you. But even though our picks have been like waking up next to 18 year old Britney Spears, you never know when you might wake up next to 25 year old Britney, so lets work to keep 18 year old Britney around today fellas!

To be crazy or not to be crazy, that is Britney's question!

Detroit Pistons -3 @ Milwaukee Bucks

Let me start by saying that if you like this one at all, jump on it early cause it has already went from-2 to -3 in the early going. I love this game for two reasons today. The first is simply the fact that the Pistons have owned the Bucks for several years, this matchup is a bit of a mental mind screw for the Bucks. Plus the Pistons have double the talent that Milwaukee can even try to put in a uniform tonight.

Tough to keep talent like Rip and Tay-Tay under cover for too long, so good you just want to eat 'em.

The second, and most important reason, is that the Bucks are trying to get through the rest of the season without Redd, Bogut, and Ridnour, who happen to be 3 of their top 5 scorers. That leaves Jefferson and Villanueva to do all of the scoring, and they get to go up against the likes of Prince, Hamilton, and Maxiell, I don’t know that there is much of a comparison in that matchup. On top of that, the Pistons have one of the stingiest defenses in the land. Expect this one to be extremely low scoring, like a 90-79 snore, but a win none-the-less!

Looks like Baylor green to me, did I ever mention to you that I am color blind and luv Asians...

Baylor Bears -4.5 @ Texas Tech Red Raiders

Baylor has dropped 4 in a row against the Big 12 elite, so they are looking to get back into their groove and improving their March Madness seeding. Tech has been horrific most of the year and are on a skid of their own, only they don’t have the talent to pull out of it. ‘nuff said.

My teasers are on the back side of the page, click below to see them!

TEASIN’ T-BONE’S HARDWOOD ATS : 55%
NBA: 6-2 NCAA: 5-7 Teasers 5-4

Sunday Funday motto...stay away from the po-po, cuz that makes for a Monday that no one wants!

Phoenix +1 @ Detroit....the Pistons are old and tired(unlike Perky Perkerson) after OT and travel back to Mo-town. Shaq is gonna beat up on Grandpa Sheed!

Washington +1 @ Stanford...The Pine Trees have lost the Lopez twins and are doing some soul searching, fortunately IP.com has found some twins for you, but I think they are Husky fans.

Gotta go fellas, my lady needs a bath, it appears she is a bit dirty!

And take it light today, cuz you don't want the Vegas Gods to bend you over on Sunday Funday!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 54-39 ats…58%
NBA 37-27 - NCAA 11-10 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

Before we hit-up the hardwood ATS docket, how cool is it that Jose is the most honest man in baseball!

PLEASE SHUT THE F*CK UP ABOUT A-ROID
Seriously, this is like CNN spending a month discussing the boob-job denials from all the chicks on The Hills. Everybody knows they got’em. I only watch the show to see’em. And I don’t care if they deny have’em. Here’s a news flash to the Eastern Seaboard Programming Network: ALMOST EVERYBODY IN BASEBALL WAS ON THE JUICE!

Do you blame him? Madonna likes her side-azz buff!

Instead of spending countless hours reporting what the janitor thinks after seeing him naked in the shower, if you’re gonna talk about this controversy, discuss how it’s a travesty the union, commissioner, & owners are not the ones on trial. And I don't even care that these three knew everybody was juicing and did nothing because they were making so money off it. The dirtiest aspect of this fiasco was how they tipped-off the superstars when the tests were coming, and to safe face and act is if they cared about cleaning up the game, they simply busted the mid-level & minor leaguers not making them any mula.

Why do you care if they deny they've been enhanced? Just like professional sports, it's simply entertainment Homeboys!

Also, while I hate Bonds like I hate The View & soft-core hotel porn, how funny is it gonna be if Barry Boids gets off on these charges. Considering I was just laid-off, do I really want to hear how the government is spending millions of dollars trying to make this meatheads admit they rubbed cream on their nut-sack…considering we all know they rubbed cream on their nutsack. And while I’m bashing the government, considering it’s my money, let me cash out my 401K without a penalty you f*ckers...I've earned it!

Speaking of $$$, time to win us some!

I bet you didn't know this cat averaged 30 pts & 10 reb the last two games while shooting 7 of 8 from behind the arc!

Btw, if your more into college azz...Touch Me Here
LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS (+1) @ CHARLOTTE BOBCATS
*Since I posted this, Raja Bell is out tonight...btw, I'm Happy
In all my years following the Association, I’ve never seen a crazier roster than what Capt. Dunleavy has put together. Even the mad-Donnie Nelson’s 2006-07 Warriors can’t compete with the crazy mix of characters. From Baron Davis to Zach Randolph to Ricky D to Chris Kaman (who must sit as his locker wondering what the hell he's gotten himself into) to a coach that everybody hates, this thing should be a Reality Show. And all that being said, I absolutely luv the LA tonight.

I hear ya Nikolina, I can't believe the Clipp Show either!

After being the laughing stock of the league the first half, with almost everybody healthy and their coach finally allowing them to play YMCA-streetball, the Clippers have won two straight with an “FU”-attitude that should last for a couple more nights. With non-stop fast-breaks, three-point jacking, and their sickly athletic youngsters attacking the rim at every opportunity (Al Thorton & Eric Gordon), LA has averaged 124 ppg in their last two and beat the Grizz & Hawks by a combined 45 points! And with tonight’s contest against the injury-depleted Bobcats and a home tilt with the Knicks prior to the All-Star Break, I have a feeling the Clippers are determined to head to the Weed & Groupie Party on a four-game streak!

The Cats don't have anybody to lace 'em up at SF!

Speaking of the AARP-coached Cats O Bob, as mentioned ad nausem, without Gerald Wallace they don't have a player to handle anybody athletic on the wing. Things are so bad at SF they actually traded 1st round bust Adam Morrison to LA for the sometimes uninterested Vladimir Radmanovic. Even better, last night at Miami they were so desperate for scoring they started PG DJ Augustin alongside PG Raymond Felton and dusted-off 46 year-old Juwan Howard to open the game at PF. While they played hard and only lost by four, trust me, I saw some of that game and Miami was simply going through the motions. Especially on a back-to-back tonight, even if Vlad is cleared to play, I fully expect another Clippers blow-out. And speaking of a back-to-back, you think Grandpa Brown will have the same amount of energy on the sideline anoche…CLIPPERS BY DOUBLE DIGITS

So ur telling me Gadzuric & Elson are gonna slow Yao?

HOUSTON ROCKETS (-6) @ MILWAUKEE BUCKS
With T-Mac, Ronny Ron, & the Great Wall all finally on the court together, I don’t know how the Bucks keep this close without Michael Redd, Andrew Bogut, & Luke Ridnour. Especially without the big Australian, I have a feeling Yao will score 25 in only 30 min. against the deadly combo of Francisco Elson & Dan Gadzuric (last game: 0-4 FG, 1 pt, 5 fouls). And with the Bucks coming-off a heartbreaking OT loss to the Pistons this weekend where Ramon Session magically scored 44 points (which means he's gonna shoot 5-18 tonight), this thing could get ugly in a hurry…ROCKETS BY DOUBLE DIGITS

While I know they're not in school, I can't help thinking about Jen when it's time to invest on the college kids!

BOISE STATE BRONCOS (+1) @ FRESNO ST. FRESHMAN
Want to know why I like the Broncos & Bikinis...Touch Me Here

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 54-42 ats…56%
NBA 37-29 - NCAA 11-11 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

This pimp needs to help me rebound from an awful opening to the ATS week...Mia Culpa Homeboys...Mia Culpa!

DENVER NUGGETS (pick) @ MIAMI HEAT
The Nuggs were playing some of the best basketball in the Association before taking Friday Night off (back-to-back) in an embarrassing 44-point loss to the Nets. I'm guessing they bounce-back big-time tonight against a team without the size downlow to compete and roster engulfed in trade rumors. While D-Wade is always dangerous, Dahntay Jones might be one of the few ballers on the hardwood to match-up defensively with his abilities...DENVER BY 6-12 POINTS

After the debacle in NJ, the Nuggs line is sitting pretty!

While I'm not apologizing for these briefs, I apologize I'm so bried today...got some job interviews Homeboys!

But before I leave, I have one more pick & hottie...

Cause when S-Jax is playing with as much passion on the court as da club...the Warriors are pretty solid at home!

NY KNICKS @ GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS (-4)
TOUCH ME HERE - TOUCH ME HERE - TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 56-42 ats…57%
NBA 39-29 - NCAA 11-11 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
BTW...Did you miss my thoughts on A-Roid Monday?

This Brazilian Banger might suprise you against Dwight...

...because just like our friend, the two of them are almost exactly the same size!

To skip the NBA & jump to the UNC/Duke Preview...TOUCH ME HERE
DENVER NUGGETS (+8) @ ORLANDO MAGIC
Just as in my decision to the ride the Nuggets like Billy Bob rode Halle in Monster’s Ball, why wouldn’t I do it again. While emerging as a legitimate powerhouse in the West, Friday Night’s 44-point embarrassment at NJ has perfectly set the table for a refocused squad closing-out the first half. Last night, they absolutely dominated the Heat (W 99-82) and will by psyched to prove they can sweep the state of the Florida. And for all the talk D-Howard is impossible for teams to handle, the new-n-improved Nene has the most apt physical tools to give him a battle and only played 24 minutes last night.

Just like Audrina, fans sometimes think Nene is "too-cool-for-school" and forget about his presence up-front!

Speaking of match-ups, while I’m not saying Nene will outperform the freakish-beast, I believe the Brazilian has more of an opportunity to succeed than some of the Magic starters against Denver. The crafty leadership of Chauncey should have a field day against career back-up Anthony Johnson at the point. Melo will easily score on sudo-SFs Rashard Lewis & Hedu Turkoglu and will get plenty of trips to the charity stripe when the Mickael Pietrus switches on him from SG. Throw-in the better than advertised long-range abilities from Linas Kleiza & J.R. Smith to match with the Magic wings, and I fully expect a tight battle tonight…which means take the eight points and make a reservation at Sizzler…NUGGETS IN AN UPSET

Especially after the disappointment in Milwaukee, Yao's gonna have a field day against the King's rail-thin youngsters!

SUCKRAMENTO KINGS @ HOUSTON ROCKETS (-12.5)
Like Paris in hotel with the cameras rolling, nobody in the Association sucks worse than Kings right now. And as far as this specific match-up, this thing lines-up perfectly for an absolute blow-out. With the Weed & Groupie Weekend on the horizon you think the Kings will be focused coming off another road blowout last night (L 118-110 @ Dallas)? Considering every veteran on Sucktown’s roster is involved in 20 different trade rumors, do you really think they’ll be focused on passing the rock and team-ball tonight? And for Houston, after the embarrassment in Milwaukee Monday, won’t they be dying to end the first half with a dominating performance at home?

Just like Yao versus the Kings frontcourt, sometimes size is all you need when playing in those tiny uniforms!

Answer all those questions, and then check out their box score against the Bucks and you’ll realize Houston's starters are well-rested and the bench is playing better than ever. I’m not joking when I say this, but I fully expect the Rockets to be up by 20 at halftime and to pour it on even harder in the second. Especially with Yao humiliated with his production Monday and Brad Miller resting thru the All-Star Break, I have a feeling you’ll see the Chinaman dominate the young, defensive-challenged bigs for the Kings (Spencer Hawes & Ryan Thompson)…ROCKETS BY 25-35 POINTS

While I luv the offensive game of Senior Calderon, he has no chance of slowing down Mr. Longoria & the Spurs!

SAN ANTONIO SPURS (-6.5) @ TORONTO RAPTORS
Toronto has been awful with the Bosh in the line-up so how you think they’ll look against Timmy with Bargnani & O’Neal in his place? I know SA played last night, but it was an easy victory and Pop’s will be stressing the importance of heading into the All-Star Weekend with a nice swagger. Especially after the unorthodox, but smart decision to rest all three superstars the final game of a long stretch of games last week, the genius headmaster was conceding the contest in hopes of ensuring their final stretch before the break was flawlessly efficient.

Like our girl, Tony can slip into some of the tightest spots!

Let alone the Timmy D advantage down-low, while Jose Calderon is a wizard with the rock, he’s gonna get worked ova like Jodie Foster in a dirty bar by Tony Longoria. Throw-in the most unbelievable stretch of long range shooting in Association history from Matt Bonner (last 7 games: 19-26 from three…73%!) and the season-long consistency from G Roger Mason (45-3pt%) to stretch the floor, and the Spurs have literally been able to pick-n-choose the spots to rest or utilize Manu’s unique abilities. I could go on, but I need to refill my Rum & Cream Soda…SPURS BY 10-16 POINTS

Just like Lima, not much better than Duke/UNC Homeboys!

The Blue Devils have tried everything to stop Psycho T!

#3 NORTH CAROLINA HEELS (-2) @ #5 DUKE BLUE DEVILS
For the full breakdown & more bikinis...TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 58-44 ats…57%
NBA 40-31 - NCAA 12-11 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
How bout my flawless prediction for Duke/UNC yesterday?!

Can u imagine D-Rose & the Black Jesus on the pick-n-roll?

IS AMARE REALLY THE ANSWER IN CHI-TOWN?
When the rumors first circulated about Amare potentially paired with Derrick Rose, I jumped on the idea like I was Roller Girl & Marky Mark was chillin’ on the sofa. In my opinion, nobody in the NBA runs the pick-n-roll, pick-n-pop, or pick-n-dunk-on-ur-head better than Mr. Stoudemire, while his athleticism & experience running with the floppy-haired Canadian immediately raises D-Rose’s game another level.

Only Greggy G can compare Amare to adult-star Nautica!

As for the talk he cares about defense as much as Nautica Thorn cares about celibacy, first off, he’s not nearly as pedestrian as they say, and two, let’s not forget he was raised in Mike D’Antoni’s system where they never-EVER practiced defending the rock. In addition, before Shaq arrived he was forced to play out of position at center, and now with the aging-Diesel, he’s actually responsible for more in the paint then you think. Throw-in how desperate the Bulls are for some back-to-the-basket scoring to open things-up for their shooters, and this deal simply sounds like a slam-dunk for the Bullies…right?

Unlike Paxson handling his tiny guards, Krystal seems confident in her decision on what to do with this tiny bikini!

While Paxson is more than deserving of the criticism for the team’s lack of development, on the flipside, he does have more young pieces around him than T.T. Boy on the set of Teen Tryouts #27. But as the roundball experts spend their energy arguing about which youngsters should be included for the so-called Black Jesus, I content that aspect of the deal doesn’t really matter (give them anybody but Rose). What Pax must wrestle with…is it worth it to trade for the star-PF for a year & a half if they can’t or won’t re-sign him after next season. And don’t be fooled by the naysayers, if he stays healthy, he will command a max contract. Taking it a step further, even if the Bulls offer him the max deal, couldn’t you see the Florida-raised, Phoenix-played baller having no interest staying in the Windy City after a long winter?

While you never know what to expect from youngsters with potential, Mr. Stoudemire is proven kick-azz commodity!

As for what I believe GM Stevie “I f*cked this thing up pretty good” Kerr wants, considering the contracts have to come close to matching, his owner wants cap-relief next season, and their need to get younger, more athletic & better defensively, the deal seems blatantly obvious to me: Drew Gooden’s expiring 7M, the still oozing potential & suddenly productive skills of Tyrus Thomas, the underrated & unutilized skills of 6-7 SG Thabo Sefolosha, and the Bulls 1st round pick next season. And because hardly anybody else in the Association can match Mr. Kerr’s specific criteria to make the trade, if Amare’s really on the table, it’s up to GM Johnny Pax to place an order.

If Steve Kerr was the GM of this, he'd probably think it would look better with a heavy sweatshirt and some baggy jeans!

As for what the GM of Insideplays would do, it’s a no-brainer…take a chance for once and suit-up the Black Jesus at the United Center! Even if he walks after next season, winning is contagious and this is the best opportunity to let our youngsters experience it. Throw-in the added development of Rose’s game playing with this style of big, the swagger he brings that Vinny Del Scott Baio desperately needs, and a fan base yearning & deserving of some excitement, and I can’t see how Reinsdorf’s pseudo son doesn’t pull the trigger!

So your telling me this crazy cat...

...is gonna have trouble handling the German Diggler?

Want to skip to my Bulls/Heat Preview...Touch Me Here Please
BOSTON CELTICS (-2.5) @ DALLAS MAVERICKS
I do care that Shuttlesworth might be a late scratch tonight (thumb), but for a different reason than most. Considering Jason “6th man of the year & Mavs savior this season” Terry is out, I’m actually glad Ray-Ray will be pimped-out in a suit to keep this line nice-n-low. But the biggest reason I’m taking my hard earned dollars and rolling with Doc’s crew is the match-up between Dirk and KG. Of all the teams on the professional hardwood, nobody strikes fear in the German Diggler more than the lanky, athletic, and passionate defense from Mr. Garnett.

I have a feeling this is how KG's gonna treat Dirk!

Especially with this being a TNT special and last game before the Weed & Groupie Weekend, I have feeling we’ll be seeing plenty of chest-pounding & yelling from the 7-footer as he dominates this contest. In addition, the match-up between Grandpa Kidd and the freakishly-athletic Rajon Rondo has all the makings of an embarrassment for the Cali kid. Rondo has been running circles around the quickest of PGs and averaging a sick 12 ppg, 11 apg, 7 rpg over his last five games. And speaking of the Weed-infested Break, you think Josh Howard is thinking about this first half finale or chilling in PHX with some Funjuns & Pizza?...CELTICS BY 8-12 POINTS

While Kelenna Azubuike has always been able to do this, now he's raining in everything from downtown as well!

PORTLAND BLAZERS @ GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS (-3)
I’ve been riding the Warriors home-bandwagon of late and have no desire to jump off. Nellie’s fast-break crew has won three straight at home (Phoenix, Utah, NY) and averaging a ridiculous 127 ppg over that span. S-Jax is playing like an elite superstar of late (last 5 games: 29 ppg, 9 apg, 7 rpg), Kelenna Azubuike might be the most improved player in the NBA (14 ppg, 5 rpg, 47 3-pt%), Corey Maggette should easily overpower the Blazers SFs (20 ppg, 6 rpg, +8 FTA/gm), the combination of Jamal Crawford & Monte Ellis should run circles around starting PG Sergio Rodriguez, and surprisingly, Ronny Turiaf seems like a perfect fit in this system manning the middle with Biedrins out (last 5 games: 10 ppg, 6 rpg, 3 bpg, 57-fg%).

The Blazers are gonna have more trouble than this leaf covering all the Warriors sweet assets!

On the Blazers side, after a solid start and a dominating record at home, they’ve lost four of their last six on the road and are not playing with much confidence overall. Especially with the face-paced style of the Warriors, I have a feeling Nate McMillian’s youngsters will get caught up in their free-wheeling style…especially with carnival atmosphere we’ve seen from GST of late. In addition, with Brandon Roy always a little hobbled, LaMarcus Aldridge nursing a sore hip, and Greg Oden virtually useless in a game like this, I actually think we could see another blow-out from the suddenly sexy squad from the Bay…WARRIORS BY 10-16 POINTS

While Chrissy Quinn can handle this match-up, with Chalmers a little hobbled, how you think he'll match-up with Rose?

MIAMI HEAT @ CHICAGO BULLS (-3)
TOUCH ME HERE for my Bulls/Heat Preview & more Lovely Ladies!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 60-45 ats…57%
NBA 42-32 - NCAA 12-11 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
If you missed my Amare to the Bulls insight...TOUCH ME HERE

Before you leave Pax...can you take a few guards with ya!

After years on the job, if your highest paid baller is Larry Hughes and your head coach use to be on...

...Charles in Charge, thinks aren't looking too good!

The Man Jordan Made Famous Never Really Wanted the Job
While appearing to have all the characteristics of a promising GM, Johnny Pax was missing the essential component to be successful architect in the Association…the passionate desire to actually do it. Paxson was unbelievably content as the insightful broadcast analyst and regularly joked when asked about replacing Jerry Jaba Krause:
“Why would I want to do that, my brother is miserable in Cleveland!”
But as well documented, the love-affair from his pseudo father figure, owner Jerry Reisndorf, persuaded the Chi-town icon to give it a chance and help save his last place franchise.

I agree Biance, time to kiss Johnny goodbye!

In an era and industry where “What have you done for me lately” is a weekly trend, nobody was given a friendly-shake than the former Notre Dame-star. I'll admit, I thought he'd turn it around. But after 150 lottery picks and an owner willing to spend, even the cult-hero wasn’t immune to the extreme mediocrity and recent disappointment of his tenure. And while the Windy City slowly turned on the orignal-Steve Kerr, if you peruse any writings nationwide on the professional hardwood, you'd know the "Paxson" name was more of a punch-line with each passing year…and they weren’t talking about his brother Jimmy anymore.

Unlike Nicolette, Pax never seemed happy...


...and it looked as if it was taking it's toll!

Some will say he was forced out, but don’t be fooled, Jerry would have let him run this thing for ever. While John always dreaded the thought of giving-up and truly hoped to leave once things were turned around, he's tired, sick of the pressure, and realized he was sending himself to an early grave. Prior to this experience, Pax was living the life. Chilling in a city that always glorifies the short-white dudes in sports (Tom Waddle, Matt Suhey, Steve Kerr, Craig Grebeck, Mike Fontenot etc.) and making some nice cash at cushy-job. It's just too bad he didn't listen to what he'd been saying for years..."Why would I ever want that job?"

With that, time to hit-up those kids at school!

In my opinion, Mr. Wright is the best coach in the Big East!

VILLANOVA WILDCATS (+4.5) @ WEST VIRGINIA MOUNTAINEERS
While I’ve mentioned it before, considering my diehard belief in this ATS trend, I can’t help but repeat it. Just like Jassie’s nervous rookie performance in Slumber Party 17 circa 2001 when compared to her captivating confidence in Old Geezers Young Teasers recently, conference road games get easier & easier for the top talents as the season progresses. Speaking of top-talents, the 13th ranked Cats have won six straight, have the most aggressive & deep backcourts in the country, and for the first time, have a dominate big to take the pressure off their long range bombers (6-8 Dante Cunningham 17 ppg, 7 rpg, 57-fg%).

After some fine-tuning, the Cats are looking sweet!

After some mid-season struggles, Nova showcased their dominant potential Saturday blowing-out previously 12th ranked Marquette at home with a 52-point second half and should be as confident as ever heading to Morgantown, WV. Speaking of the Mountaineers, they’ve lost four of their last six and the last time they played a ranked opponent at home they lost by 12 (Pittsburgh). I could go on and on, but trust me, take the points and make sure to let your lady know IP.com helped sponsor your Valentine’s Day gift…NOVA BY 4-10 POINTS

Hey look, it's Michael Phelps' pet chipmunk!

DREW'S DISHIN' ON AMERICA'S #1 SWIMMER
By ur friend n mine...Drew Donkulous

Kid Durant is about to become Dr. Durant in my book!

Not much time today IP fanatics, but I do want to make sure everyone realizes the gold mine that is named Kevin Durant. As I was watching the game last night it became obvious to me that this kid has everything, and I'm not talking about mad skills, I'm talking about his inner being. At any point in time, no matter who the other nine players were on the court, he had the most intensity, the most focus, and the most heart!

Kevin kinda reminds me of a man I grew up watching. The whole package is tough to find in the Association.

In what has always been deemed as a fun game to get the young stars on the court to showcase their game(and bring in another bucket load of benjamins for the Association), Kevin decided that he wasn't about that. Here is a kid that is in his second year, and maybe it is his freshness to the league, but he rose above the monetary vacuum of the Association. Kevin Durant, the inner being, simply said...dammit, I get paid millions to play this game, and all these fans pay hundreds to see me when they make less in a year than I make in a game, I have to go balls-to-the-wall all game, every game.

Much like KD, Adriana Lima takes her profession just as serious! Sweat & Determination = Perfection

And whether he was turning a steal into a dunk, or hitting clutch free throws down the stretch in a game that doesn't mean much, with his 46 points, 7 boards, and high intensity, he showed every owner out there that he is someone you build a franchise around. And all this while playing for the worst friggin' team in the league. Let me just warn the fans of OKC...ya better bring in some players quick, cuz all good people want to be around good leaders and they can only wait so long to make a move. I would personally like to thank Mr. Durant, for he reminded me that there are a few athletes out there grateful for what they do!

Even though Durant gets beat up and bent over almost nightly with his supporting cast, I haven't seen him take up thumbsucking and whining.

To check out Teasin' T-Bone's pick of the day, click below!

Dr. Dwight was good, but not good enough, even Superman has to step aside and accept defeat...

Sunday Funday in InsidePlays-ville, and although there is a limited docket of hoops to keep your cabbage tied up, there is a good spattering of variety to keep you busy today. After my rant yesterday about how Kevin Durant showed more passion than anyone I had seen in a long time, I wonder if I will be disappointed by the upperclassmen in the Association. I know that the show will be good, but will the heart even be visible from any of the players?

Tony won't be smiling today, and he doesn't even have any hotties in his sunglasses reflection, looks like the only thing he can do is complain about his tires!

And if an All-Star game isn't your thing, there will be nothing better to watch today than the Daytona 500. Whether you are intrigued by the fact that a guy named Truex can get the pole in a field of superstars, or you want to listen to Stewart and Newman work their way from the back of the field after their Goodyear tires have let them down again, or you think that this is Junior's year and he gets it started on the same track that his dad was killed on years back. No matter your reason for watching it, I don't think you will walk away disappointed today, so grab a Budweiser and cut your sleeves off your shirt, and maybe even throw a dime on your favorite driver for the fun of it.

The wife beater is the shirt of choice, if only you could look as good in one as our flexible, bendy, oral loving nascar fanatic! Mmmm, Nascar!!!!

ACC SUNDAY TEASER ACTION

Duke teased to -2.5 @ Boston College
North Carolina teased to -4 @ Miami

Tar Heels fans come out of the wood work for the boys in baby blue. Especially the dirty ones.

The elite of the ACC both have road matchups against mid to lower level teams. Knowing that they are playing on the road, I hesitate to think that them winning by double digits is a guarantee, but I see both of them winning today, so bringing the lines to under 5 make these Sunday Funday games enticing.

Speed is the name of the game today, and with two wheels like Nolan and Greg, it is a clear road to victory!

I really look to see Hansborough completely dominate for UNC as Dwayne Collins will struggle to even hold his jock, added into the fact that the Heels dumped the Canes by 17 in their first go around, and I really like them at -4. For the Dukies, expect Singler to have a day, but I really think Paulus will play a key roll coming off the bench and leading the 2nd team. If he can keep Duke running, which he normally does, I can see Duke pulling away mid way through the second half.

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 60-46 ats…57%
NBA 42-32 - NCAA 12-12 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

Trading away your top two defenders (Matrix & Raja) and then hiring a coach preeching D doesn't make much sense!

Porter Out in Phoenix Means Amare Staying?
From the start, Stevie Kerr’s belief he could completely change the Suns moxy by hiring a defensive-minded and more conventional offensive oriented coach in Terry Porter is like asking Kobe Tai & Asia Carrera to spend more time upright on a movie set…it’s just not possible. If your team is built around the freewheeling Stevie Nash, the veteran tadum of Shaq and Grant, and a PF raised under No-D-Antoni, you can’t be shocked the team didn’t adjust in only four months.

While Gentry isn't a mirror image of D'Antoni, at least he was in the room when the coach was drawing-up the game plan!

Considering Alvin Gentry is the lone holdover from the D’Antoni days, not only does it mean the Suns will be rejuvenated and probably play better, but it also means Amare is more likely to stay. I also believe as teams began to drool at the prospect of getting the best young PF in the game, Suns owner Robert Sarver got cold feet and was told by plenty of his peers he might live to regret the decision. Sorry Chi-Town...it's just not meant to be! (For my thoughts last week on how Amare would look in Chicago...TOUCH ME HERE)

Just pointing this out, at least if the All-Star game was bad in the past, Mariah would still be there to put on a show!

The Weed & Groupie Weekend was Great…Until Sunday!
After a Friday & Saturday of fun filled events, nothing was worse than watching a pick-up basketball game where defense was beyond nonexistent and traveling was no longer consideration a violation. After a Rookie/Soph Game where every baller is trying to prove he should've been drafted higher and a Saturday Night of carnival games with the sickest of athletes, what a frickin bummer on Sunday Funday...only Shaq’s dance performance was even remotely close to worth the price of admission. It’s not like I want see set-plays and dudes slapping the floor as the opponent dribbles up. I just don't want to see Bron-Bron & Kobe taking four steps before throwing down an uncontested dunk!

As for some shocking occurances this weekend...

...I can’t believe Marshawn Lynch was arrested for having a loaded gun...never saw that one coming!

Same thing for Steelers kicker Jeff Reed, I can't believe he was cited for disorderly contact at a convenience store!

And last but not least...

...I agree with PETA...Fur is Evil!

SIENA SAINTS (-4) @ IONA GAELS
Tell your strippers & groupies you heard it here first Homeboys, the Saints (20-6, 14-1) will be chilling in the Sweet Sixteen this March. Returning every starter from last year’s squad that walloped #16 Vanderbilt by 21 in the Big Dance, Siena packed the non-conference schedule with plenty of the big-dogs to ensure they wouldn’t be overlooked come Selection Sunday this year (Kansas, Pittsburgh, Tennessee, & St. Joe’s). Led by an unselfish playmaker in Jr. Ronald Moore (last three games: 23 assists – 3 turnovers) and a NBA-skilled guard in Sr. Kenny Hasbrouck (last game: 23 pts, 6 ass, 4 reb), the Saints backcourt can match-up with anybody in the country.

Don't be suprised to see Kenny Hasbrouck playing on the professional hardwood next year!

Underneath the power-tandem of 6-6 Jr. Edwin Ubiles & 6-5 Jr. Alex Franklin continues to cause match-up problems with their inside-out abilities (combined: 28 ppg, 13 rpg, 52-fg%) and have been helped by the emergence of 6-9 shot-blocker Ryan Rossiter (10 ppg, 8 rpg, 2 bpg) who has blocked a ridiculous 27 shots in his last 7 games. Throw-in a Microwave style 6th man in 6-3 So. Clarence Jackson (last game: 21 pts, 4-9 from downtown) and last year’s starting center, 6-7 250 lbs Josh Duell, and headmaster Fran McCaffery has the all the tools needed to scare the crap out of any team in the land.

Just like our friend, the Saints look picture perfect tonight!

While the biggest concern on the ATS-docket with Siena can be overconfidence against a team like Iona...TOUCH ME HERE 4 MORE!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 61-46 ats…57%
NBA 42-32 - NCAA 13-12 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

Even with Manu probably out, the reason I luv the Spurs tonight is what occured this weekend during party time!

Cause you know the PHX sun & All-Star parties can affect ur head, & I'm guessin' the Knicks enjoyed the fun a lil more!

SAN ANTONIO SPURS (-4.5) @ NEW YORK KNICKS
Don’t be fooled by the disciplined styles of the Big Three & their veteran headmaster, just like Kobe, Bron-Bron, and the defending champs just a couple weeks back, playing in The Garden will bring out the best in the quiet, yet ego driven Spurs. Especially after ending the first-half with an ugly loss to the injury-riddled Raptors, I expect the Spurs to look sharper than Marah Carey’s sweater poppers yesterday (just CLICK and SCROLL DOWN)! Oh yeah, and trust me, Pop’s would luv to blow-out his ole West Coast Playoff comrade No-D-Antoni!

While Nate Rob is the shiznit, All-Star weekends (on & off the court) always seem to take a lot out of him!

Let's just say it's never an innocent weekend when the white chicks in bikinis are sporting multi-colored hair!

While the Spurs had plenty of representation during All-Star Weekend, don’t you have a feeling even without many invites the Knick regulars probably enjoyed the extra circular festivities in Phoenix a lil more…not to mention Nate Rob probably was the highlight of every hip-hop bash in the city. Spreaking of lil Nate and his hyper running mate David Lee, while I can’t see how Gotham trades it’s two cult-heroes & fan favorites, every day there’s a new rumor on where they’re heading and you can’t tell me they aren’t listening to all the gossip.

In the NBA, having size downlow is a recipe for success!

But if trade rumor chit-chat and conspiracy theories on the aftereffects of the Weed & Groupie Break is not your thing, the Knicks lack of size should be enough to guarantee San Antonio rolls to an easy win tonight. Timmy D has been redonkulous running almost a point-center high-post game averaging 26 ppg, 13 rpg, & 6 apg in last four contests.

As Longoria & Timmy D garnering all the attention, Matt Bonner & Roger Mason are enjoying wide-open looks from deep!

With Tony Longoria wheeling & dealing off the Virgin Island 7-footer, Matt Bonner (49-3pt%) & Roger Mason (45-3pt%) spreading the floor like a gymnast turned Adult Entertainer, and Manu (questionable) overdue for some bball brilliance, trust me, the Spurs will open the 2nd half of the season with surgical precision and methodically dismantle the overachieving Knickerbockers.

But back to a lil more party gossip rationale…TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 61-47 ats…57%
NBA 42-33 - NCAA 13-12 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

While I know he’s lying to my face, my hate is tempered by the fact 99% of diamond dudes wants him to burn in hell!

Of course the cousin injecting stuff in his azz kinda creeps me out. And hell ya, after walking around in broad daylight with a stripper girlfriend u can’t use “it’s been a tough year with the divorce”-card ...let alone trying to blame not doing a keg stand at a frat party as the reason you "used" is insane. But, please let it go.

Just like the long-term harm of getting a camel toe tattoo, how does what A-Roid did really harm anybody else?

We know he did it, he somewhat admitted it, and they only people he harmed where a couple clean ball-players and the losers laying in bed analyzing baseball records that have been tainted for years. In comparison, Jason Richardson of the Phoenix Suns was driving 95 mph on a residential street with a toddler not in a car seat. He received a one-game suspension and the media scrutiny of a question or two about a potential Amare trade. Talk about a frickin' joke Homeboys.

I'm giving him a second chance...and f*ck pitbulls anyway!

Seriously, sit back, relax, and enjoy what he has to offer!

While Ronny Mexico switching coasts (possibly the 49ers) is a brilliant move, and I guarantee he’s an angel with an improved discipline for the game, the actions from Mike Singeltary are still the only headlines that really matter to me! Can you believe he actually told the 49er press he guarantees the squad will be “physical”..."physical" with an “F” he says! And obviously, that could only mean "F*ckin Physical", right? Kinda strange for a cat known to be a self-proclaimed preecher? I guess he did show his junk to a bunch fellas, maybe he's closer to the church than I think. Anywho, I luv ya Iron Mike and believe your the best chance to turn things around...but please, just don't let the scribs know what your tellin' a bunch of hard-piping gridiron grunts!

As for all the NBA trade rumor shiznit...I SEE DA LIGHT!

Sorry Bull fans...I told ya Monday it wasn't happening!

Nothing is gonna happen except the most underrated trade of all time...John Salmons to da Thunder or Bulls!

While most casual Association followers have no idea who he is, no baller is more unda the radar than Johnny Sal. The 6-6 Mr. Salmons is currently averaging 18 ppg, 4 apg, & 4 rpg with a 47-fg% & 42-3pt% on a team trying to feature Kevin "No Defense" Martin. As for where he's going, if the sickly young, athletic, & full of 1st Rd draft picks-Thunda can make this move, they'll be my darkhouse to be a big-time playa in the playoffs next year w/ Championship potential by 2010. PG Russell Westbook, SG John Salmons, SF Kevin Durant, F Jeff Green, C Tyson Chandler, and a bunch of picks in the lottery up-coming...I don't think you understand how quickly this thing is gonna get sick! If he goes to Chicago, it's because Brad Miller is involved and they want somebody that can actually run the pick-n-pop with Rose...but don't sleep on Salmons, he's the real MFin deal!

While always pimpin'...now he's actually playin'!

DENVER NUGGETS (-1) @ PHILLY 76ERS
After an entire career dominating one aspect of the game, Mr. Anthony has suddenly matured into a complete superstar…and now, he has a chip on his shoulder and sportin' a veteran point. Snubbed for All-Star weekend & continually mocked for not having a playoff moxy, look for the former Cuse star to put the professional hardwood on notice to start the 2nd half and continue to showcase his newfound rebounding/defensive intensity and trips to the charity stripe.

Melo told her to cover up and told me they'd cover tonight!

As for the Sixers, they lost in Indy last night, have trade rumors swirling around Sammy D & quiet chatter about Andre Miller, and don’t have the long-range shooters to keep pace if J.R. Smith, Linus Kleiza, & Chauncey heat-up. Trust me like you trust your bookie Homeboys, the Nuggs will be one of the best team off the Weed & Groupie Break…DENVER BY 6-10 POINTS

Everyone talks about how the change effects Nash & Amare, but the former 6th Man speedster is the real winner!

PHOENIX SUNS (-7.5) @ LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS
Talk about switching from a virgin back to an adult entertainment girlfriend, the trade front is silent after the Suns scored 140 in Alvin Gentry’s opening rout of the very Clipper team they're facing tonight. Actually, I shouldn’t say “The Very Clipper Team”, Dunleavy’s best player of late, Zach “Permanent Baby Fat” Randolph, probably won’t be playing after jacking some white-dude with long hair from PHX. So I'm guessin' the rejevneated Suns roll again…especially with J-Rich back after missing last night's contest…SUNS BY 14-20 POINTS

Just chillin' & waitin' for more Greggy G...TOUCH ME HERE

LOS ANGELES LAKERS @ GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS (+6)
I know I’m due for G-State to bite me in the azz (or shoulder if ur Marv Albert’s girl), but I just loved their swagger finishin' the 1st half TOUCH ME HERE FOR MORE PICKS & HOTTIES FELLAS

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 63-48 ats…57%
NBA 44-34 - NCAA 13-12 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

Chuck is just one of those guys for me…no matter what he does, I luv him like I luv Kobe Tai…with endless loyalty!

I know he was getting sloppy with his insight on TNT. I know his gambling idiocy was beyond comprehension even for a guy running a gambling…wait…I mean sports information site. And obviously the DUI thing is beyond stupid, especially in PHX with Jason Richardson driving the streets. But what else can I say fellas, he’s still Uncle Chuck to me.

Just like an Asian on stage in a pink bikini, it's hard for me to see faults with Sir Charles!

While I’ll throw a Steeler kicker unda the bus for complaining about convenience store bathroom towels, for some reason the story of Charles running a stop sign because he's excited to get the best Monica Lewinsky he’s ever had is priceless (Read about it here). And the best part of this whole incident (besides TNT taking him back) is I guarantee he returns with even more vigor & once again makes me stay-up late after some lousy regular season professional hardwood!

Brad Miller's second stint with Bulls is making me feel old!

Briefly on the Bulls trade front, if you checked me out yesterday, I told you John Salmons was gonna be one of the only major players moved by the deadline. As for what I think of the deal, considering he’s the 23rd wing/guard on Vinny Del Scott Baio’s roster, here’s my happy ending feel (aka Greggy G's quick thoughts):

I agree girlfriend. After all the hoopla of an upcoming blockbuster for ChiTown, this trade kinda makes me laugh!

First off, the Bulls desperately grabbed Brad "Pop-a-Shot" Miller because they entire city thought Bosh or Amare was coming and this was the best our current/former/rapidly enlarging-GM could do for a big. That being said, considering Derrick Rose’s Bigs have no idea what to do on a pick-n-anything, Miller’s ability at the high-post is gonna be sneaky special…but too bad he can’t run or jump anymore. While Noah & T-Time dove to the hole with no idea what to do, Big Brad will become a master of the pick-n-pop & keep an oversized body out of lane for Rose. As for defensively…let’s just say Brianna Banks defended better in the cinematic masterpiece Up the Wahzoo.

While the first word on his undies doesn't read like this, I still think Mr. Salmons is pretty MFin good!

Secondly, as I told you yesterday (TOUCH ME & SCROLL DOWN) the 6-6 John Salmons was the most underrated wing available…especially at only 5.5 Mill a year through 2011. That being said, this means Capt Kirk must go, Larry “I have the worst contract in the NBA” Hughes better find a home, and they don’t expect to sign Ben “I’m going to loose millions not taking Pax’s last offer” Gordon.

This trade is kinda like going to Subway. Not the best decision, but still not half bad for the price!

And finally, while we're not gonna be a player in the East, not much not to like here. Chicago gave-up nothing and got a little something back. Sure the quasi-GM needs to move a bunch more to consider this a Winna Chicken Dinna, but I expect that to happen (Kirk to Minny?). As for what I'll miss, of course Nocioni’s intensity was mesmerizing, but honestly...his shot-happiness and constant arm flailings to the refs after he basically ran over a kid on the playground got really frickin old!

While I'm tryin' not to hate, every time I see T-Mac make a move I assume he's hitting the shelf for a couple weeks!

And finally before my pick of the day, I have to admit T-Mac suddenly calling for season-ending surgery after rumors he was getting dumped because of salary cap issues was hilarious. Sympathy aside that his body is already 37 in NBA years, he’s absolutely done and the Rockets know it. The Nets…I mean Jay-Z just wanted him because his deal was a few years shorter than Vinsanity's. As for feeling bad for the Rockets, they dumped Stevie Franchise on somebody to get him…buyer beware BEEATCHES! Don’t blame Mr. McGrady you didn’t watch the Penny Hardaway NBA Movie of what happens to bodies like this!

You know why she's so happy Homeboys? Cause she's knows my ATS Play of the Day is on the horizon!

BOSTON CELTICS @ UTAH JAZZ (+3)
After going 2-1 ATS last night, I guess you're curious why I like the Jazz...or maybe you just want MORE HOTTIES...TOUCH ME HERE!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 64-48 ats…58%
NBA 45-34 - NCAA 13-12 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
What do u know, another perfect ATS evening in Hoops last night!

With Gotham's cult-hereos staying home, I expect a frenzy at The Garden tonight...and an ATS landslide!

Before we hit-up my Hardwood Winners & Drew Donkulous’s Dish, let me quickly touch on the NBA transactions. For the Bulls, I’m fully convinced GM Johnny Pax was talked out of quiting by owner Jerry Reinsdorf. As for the moves Pax made, while the United Center faithful drove around Chicago screaming in disgust (while dodging pot-holes bigger then Jenna Jameson’s luv cave), I'm not saying I’m jumping up in down like Billy Bob once they cast Halle Berry for Monster’s Ball, but the Bulls are a better team w/ more flexibility now. And here’s why:

After peeling away the layers, things don't look so bad!

Simply put, John Salmons is a better overall player than both Gordon & Nocioni, and unlike those two cats, he can actually play both wing spots (touch me here & scroll down for my Salmons insight). And the Bulls decision to keep Capt. Kirk means Gordon’s definitely gone at season’s end (and signing for nowhere near what Pax offered a couple years ago) and Vinny Del Scott Baio actually has a legitimate & interchangeable 3-guard rotation (Rose, Hinrich, & Salmons). As for Brad Miller, sure he’s aging & slow, but his deal is up before Noce’s, and trust me, he’ll be lethal at the top of the key on the pick-n-pop w/ Rose and will teach Noah, T-Time, & Aaron Gray a thing or two.

U can be sad bout the pile of "what Najah left in a chick's hamper" known as Jerome James, but don't hate the deal!

As for the Knickerbocker deal, it’s really simple Homeboys. The money and years are the same, but the Bulls have now split the money into two guys, meaning it'll be much easier to package them next year with a youngster to bring in a superstar. And if Timmy Thomas actually does play well because he had his best year in PHX while Vinny was getting coffee for other people…that’s just a bonus!

While T-Mac may have screwed Houston's championship shot, at least the other guy was replaced by someone better!

As for elsewhere, besides new the PG situations in Orlando & Houston, everything was a salary dump. And my favorite aspect is how teams are camouflaging their financial moves with the bold-face: “We just want to be players in 2010 FA frenzy!” But briefly on those PG moves, I luv Rafer “Skip to My Lou” Alston’s story coming from the blacktop, but he’s aging worse than Aurora Snow after 12-years of shielding her eyes from liquid shrapnel. On the flipside, the Rockets already had a better tiny scoring option in the speedy Aaron Brooks, and now have one of the most underrated young defensive playmakers in Kyle Lowry...winner chickin dinner for the Rockets...but not tonight!

As for my flawless NBA ATS selections tonight?

The Mavs are quietly becoming sexy again!

DALLAS MAVERICKS (+4) @ HOUSTON ROCKETS
No playoff team has been in more disarray the last few weeks than Houston. From the artist formerly known as T-Mac being swapped for Vinsanity then suddenly having season-ending surgery, to Yao Ming early retirement articles, to shipping-off their starting PG at the last minute…this is not a recipe for Friday Night ATS Success.

The Nets throwing in Antoine has been nice for Dirk & Co.

As for the Mavs, while the media continues to hammer the J-Kidd for Devin Harris trade like it happened yesterday, they’ve won 8 of their last 11 and have a throw-in piece from last year's trade suddenly working wonders…Antoine Wright. The 25 year-old 6-7 SG has provided some length & athleticism on defense since entering the starting line-up, but more importantly, after finally seeing quality minutes his offense has shown the signs that made me an early first-round pick (last 3 games: 18 ppg, 7-10 from behind the arc).

But if I was Cuban, I would've asked for a few dancers

And finally, the German Diggler is playing extemely efficient right now, J-Kidd should have a field-day posting-up little Aaron Brooks in the paint, and Josh “puff, puff, give” Howard finally seems to have regrouped from a year-n-half of stupidity. As for the great Yao Ming, for all the shiznit the Mavs received for the enormous signing of Erick Dampier a few years ago, guarding a slow big-man is one of the few things he does well…MAVS IN AN UPSET!

How do you trade two guys that actually give a F*ck?

TORONTO RAPTORS @ NEW YORK KNICKS (-2.5)
Considering their schedule of late, the Knicks have been playing unbelievable ball in The Garden (beat Popavich & Greg Gamble in OT on Tuesday) and the New York faithful seem as passionate as ever. And tonight, after it became official their cult-heroes Krypto-Nate (last 3 games: 32 ppg, 8 rpg, 7 apg) and A.D.D-avid Lee (last 5 games: 21 ppg, 13 rpg) were Knickerbockers for the rest of the season, I expect to see a playoff atmosphere for team playing with High School intensity and a crowd resembling a pep-assembly with booze.

Just like I was disappointed MTV decided they didn't need Tequila, the Raptors are also pretty depressing too!

On the flipside, in my opinion, nobody in the Association has been as disappointing as the Raptors. Making matters worse for a city rapidly losing roundball interest, the trade-deadline proved the organization was somewhat giving-up by trading for the Matrix’s expiring contract. Speaking of Shawn Marion, while he’s talented, his unique style of play will take more than few games for his teammates to figure out…especially with an interm/rookie coach at the helm. And finally, making my degenerate-azz smile even more, with Mr. Bosh supposedly returning after almost a 20-day absence, I have a feeling the spread will shift in our favor ever so slightly…and considering Bosh was praying he’d be dealt and probably will look a little rusty, it makes me luv the Knicks even more tonight…NEW YORK BY 10-16 POINTS

Just like the flawless Miranda doesn't have two bad photoshoots, Dwight doesn't have back-2-back bad ones!

ORLANDO MAGIC (-3) @ CHARLOTTE BOBCATS
While Stan Van Ron Jeremy’s squad struggled to beat Charlotte to open Tuesday (W 107-102) and were completely embarrassed by CP3 the following night (L 117-85), I think the aftereffects of the Weed & Groupie Weekend have finally worn-off and we’ll see a focused squad tonight. After D-Howard completely dominated the Cats O Bob fresh of his All-Star high (45 pts, 19 reb, 8 blk), the man-child was non-existent against a Chandler-less Hornet squad (29 min, 12 pts, 8 reb). In short, I believe he bounces back like Debbie in Dallas. I could go on, but I have other shiznit to do & booze to buy. But trust me, Hedu & Rashard will blow-up from deep tonight...MAGIC BY 7-11 POINTS

DREW'S DISHIN' ON STUPID ANIMAL OWNERS
By ur friend n mine...Drew Donkulous

Gotta luv the rivalry that is happening in Indiana today!!

TEASIN' T-BONE'S ATS SPECIAL...but check back for more luv!
INDIANA HOOSIERS +22 @ PURDUE BOILERS & UGLY CHICKS
We all know the outcome of this one, but there are three reasons I love this one. 1) It is tough for anyone to win a conference showdown(intra-state I might add) but more than 20 points, 2) Tom Crean is slowly turning the barge that is the Hoosiers, it won't mean many wins this year, but they are better than they were in November, and 3) Purdue only has enough firepower to put up 70 pts a game, I don't think they can keep the Hoosiers below 50.

Sorry for the short morning post, but much like this guys Hoosier Hand, I have to go into hiding until late afternoon, but I'll hit ya with a night time winna so check back!!

As for what Greg Gamble likes today, besides his girl Jarah, the Tar Heels (-12), California (-5), & TOUCH ME HERE!

TEASIN' T-BONE'S FREE NBA HANDICAPPING

When KG's been out, Ray's rose up like Jesus...Shuttlesworth

BOSTON CELTICS +2 @ PHOENIX SUNS
Not only are the Clovers the defending champions, but they happen to continue to be a solid force in '09. So lets see fellas....the Celts are 10 games better than the Suns, they sh*t-kicked the Suns by 17 just a month ago, and the Suns are dealing with most devastating injury since Greggy G broke his nose just before conference play in High School. Speaking of dat, I know KG is out, but I like that it's keeping the spread nice-n-low, not to mention Amare's absence should be more detrimental when it comes to filling that starting spot (who do you want, Leon Powe or some long-haired dude the Zach punched). To sum things up, when the Vegas Gods say they're gonna give the Celtics 2 points, I simply call it my money lock of the day!

Sometimes you need two to have a little teaser fun...and good thing yours truly has your ATS-carnival nectar!!

SUNDAY FUNDAY TEASERS

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS @ HOUSTON ROCKETS (teased -2)
DETROIT PISTONS (teased +13) @ LEBRON JAMES HOUSE
Yao against Okafor...I don't think so...just like Greg Gamble told ya on Friday when Oak faced D-Howard (to read it, scroll to where Amanda Kerr is to get the info...or just look at Amanda).
As for the Pistons, they keep this close just cuz of the division rivalry facto and the potential first round playoff matchup. (BTW, I also luv RIP coming off a horrible performance and A.I. + double digits!)

Put on your Sunday tie and take it light fellas!

GREG GAMBLE'S SUNDAY FUNDAY SPECIAL

BTW, Greggy G's sorry for his picks yesterday, but that means today he's a lock. He's riding Luol today, and...

He likes the spread in one other game...TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 66-49 ats…58%
NBA 47-35 - NCAA 13-12 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

Trust me, the more you yell, the more they aren't listening. The only way you're getting through to that crew...

...would be tattooing the game plan on her lower back!

GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS (-4) @ LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS
The roster put together by Coach/GM Mike Dunleavy is beyond catastrophic when you talk about the combination of “me-first”-casters, “one-end playing”-vets, and “I don’t give a f*ck”-hot heads paired with some talented, but extremely raw & quiet youngsters. Honestly, do you really blame Elton Brand for waiting nothing to do with Clipperland? Last night, LA was blown-out in Portland for a third straight time since the Weed & Groupie All-Star Break (L 116-87). While every team is capable of having a lousy stretch of games, this steaming pile of garbage appeared to take the floor without the slightest interest of trying to play competitively allowing the Blazers to score 38 in the first quarter opening a 22-point lead. You know things are “Blue-Chips” the movie bad when you allow Steve Blake to dish out14 assists before the start of the 2nd quarter!

I haven't seen this happy smile on Baron in awhile!

The clowning around just isn't the same since he left Nellie!

Speaking of the roster, the newly signed Baron Davis (probably-toe) has absolutely no-interest in playing for Coach Dunleavy and continues to jack-up three-pointer after three-pointer even though he’s shooting 28% from deep (and only 36% overall). Baby-fat Zach “No-D” Randolph just finished a two game suspension for cracking some long-haired white-dude on Phoenix, but I’m guessing he didn’t spend his off time eating carrots and riding an excise bike. Swingman Al Thornton (questionable-foot) and his assignment-forgetting ways missed yesterday’s game along with Chris Kaman (out-don’t want to play with these guys), Marcus Camby (doubtful-ear infection…yeah, right), & Brian Skinner (doubtful-Achilles). Even if some of these guys suit-up tonight, it won’t matter because they’re all just playing for themselves anyway.

The way Turiaf challenges every shot has made the Warriors a much better squad (last 5 gms: 13 ppg, 7 rpg, 2 bpg)!

While she'd look solid in any part of Cali, Ronny T has moved up the coast and looked even better!

On the Warriors side, after miserable start to the season, Donnie Nelson’s guard/wing-loaded roster has been playing phenomenally of late (won 5 of last 7) and been extremely unselfish. Stephen Jackson is playing like an MVP (last 5 gms: 25 ppg, 9 apg, 6 rpg) and while Monte “MoPed” Ellis (out) will be resting his surgically repaired ankle tonight, PG C.J. Watson has been solid when pushed into duty (9 ppg, 48-3pt%) and Marco Belinelli (9 ppg, 39-3pt%) just returned from his ankle injury last week. Throw-in Jamal Crawford’s gradual development wITH Nellieball (19 ppg, 5 apg), G/F Kelenna Azubuike (13 ppg, 46-3pt%) consistent contributions, and 6th man of the year candidate Corey Maggette’s recent emergence (last 5 gms: 23 ppg, 57-fg%, 50-3pt%), and I have a feeling Golden St. is gonna try to match the Suns back-2-back 140 point efforts against this lazy squad.

After a long day, nothing sounds better then sitting on the edge of the bed and watching some Warrior hoops!

In closing, I’ve never seen a team with more lack of interest or outright deviance of their headmaster than the Clippers. Especially...TOUCH ME

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 66-50 ats…57%
NBA 47-36 - NCAA 13-12 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

While Joahkim has a special look at times...

...I have feeling he'll be looking more like this after spending the night banging with Mr. Howard!

ORLANDO MAGIC (-2.5) @ CHICAGO BULLS
Coach Stan “the Adult Hedgehog” Van Gundy’s floor-spacing and tall-shooters surrounding Superman is a recipe for disaster for a team like Chicago. If you remember their last match-up at the United Center on New Year’s Eve, Orlando opened a 65-38 halftime lead before coasting to an easy victory. And the only difference tonight, they’ll be catching Mr. Howard playing with a Bron-Bron/Kobe type swagger, rested, and looking to dominate the house that Michael built & Madison Square Garden on a back-2-back (fyi, Michael Jordan not Ruffin).

I have a feeling this might cause some trouble for the Bullies!

Oh wait, never mind...they have Big Brad now!

Especially with rookie headmaster Vinny Del Scott Baio still trying to integrate his shaky defensive game-plan to a bunch of newcomers, this has the makings of a Courtney Love in a bikini-type of dreadful performance. While Tyrus Thomas has been extremely active protecting the bucket of late, with pseudo-PF Rashard Lewis spending 90% of every possession behind the arc, I’m guessing you’ll see more action from the other Thomas…Timmy “No-D” Thomas.

Just like our friend, Stan Van has the boys looking focused!

While Rose against the newly acquired Skip to my Lou (but skipping much slower) & AARP Anthony Johnson scares me a little, with the Magic Freakshow protecting the basket and Derrick looking a lil gased of late, I’m guessing the only way they pull an upset is if Ben Gordon blows-up for 40. But trust me, 6-5 rookie Courtney Lee is a solid defender, has the length to disrupt the miniscule Huskie, and can knockdown his fair share of shots (46-fg%, 43-3pt%) if defensive guru Mickael Pietrus (wrist-quest.) is unable to go…MAGIC BY 7-13 PTS

While the Bears have struggled of late, the Clones haven't looked happy outside their lockers in long, long time!

BAYLOR BEARS (-2.5) @ IOWA STATE CYCLONES
While both teams have been a disaster of late, the (16-10, 4-8) Bears four-guard attack opened the season 15-3 before the big-boys of the Big 12 decided to simply pound them underneath. But luckily, my alma mater’s only scoring big-man, 6-10 So. Craig Brackins (20 ppg & 9 rpg), does the majority his scoring from outside the paint. While I’m sure (13-14, 2-10) ISU will try to keep Brackins inside tonight, he has absolutely no help underneath or on the glass...as for some proof, a 6-1 white senior (did I mention he’s 6-1 & white?) is the team's second leading rebounder (Bryan Peterson 6 ppg 4 rpg 39fg%).

Speaking of the rest of the Clones...TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 66-52 ats…56%
NBA 47-37 - NCAA 13-13 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
To skip my NBA & check out my Duke/Maryland luv...Touch Me Here

Don't worry Stevo, after the Gambling Gods ripped me I knew one Monday & Tuesday, I look much worse than you!

But if Brian Austin Green can bounce back with Megan Fox after life as David Silver, so can my ATS gamblin' azz!

UTAH JAZZ (-6) @ MINNESOTA T-WOLVES
Led by a legit MVP candidate in Deron Williams who's been filthy of late (a lock for 30 & 10 nightly), the Jazz are the hottest team in the Association...and this was before The Booze, AK-& Mr. Harpring returned. With those guys back, while some would think it would take time to adjust, all of them know Sloan's system like Kobe Tai knows about the nuisances of the "cowcatcher" and will be looking to prove they can make this team even better.

While he my be a lil rusty, he'll bring an intensity (especially in a contract year) around the rim that Minny can't handle!

On the flipside, the T-Wolves are still devastated from the season-ending injury to Big Al as the offense they've run all year is no longer practical. As for the match-ups tonight, Minny's biggest weaknesses are at the point and lack of experience in the paint...which means D-Will, Okur, Millsap, & a hungry kid named Carlos from Alaska will dominate from start to finish...JAZZ BY DOUBLE DIGITS

Just like she'd get me to buy in to whatever she sellin', I'm buyin' into New Orleans rallyin' around the Chandler mishap!

DETROIT PISTONS @ NEW ORLEANS HORNETS (-7.5)
While the number may seem high if you're a casual professional hardwood viewer, trust me, the Pistons are in complete disarray. After years of an efficient offense and the emergence of Rodney Stuckey as a playmaking guard, the acquisition of A.I. and subsequent loss of Chauncey has completely changed the mojo in MoTown. With Allen still thinking he's 26 and in Philly, Detroit now stands around watching as their worst shooter dribbles out the clock before hosting a bad shot or jumping in the air desperately looking for a teammate.

After another loss last night & Sheed knowin' he's gone at season's end, I'm guessin' his body language is similar to this!

Especially with an aging frontcourt (Wallace & McDyess) on a back-to-back, Rasheed looking more & more like his final days in Blazerland, RIP disinterested in his 6th man role, and Stuckey non-existent alongside A.I., I expect another poor outing from a veteran team knowing Dumars gave-up on the season for a salary dump. And sorry to tell you Piston fans, but it's a brilliant move. Keeping RIP, Prince, Stuckey, Maxiel, and using the loads of money coming off the books from Iverson & Wallace will make this team a contender in two years.

Tyson's first home game since the trade debacle will lead to standing ovation & fired-up squad. Btw, I can't believe Michael Bag-o-Donuts Sweets never made it as a starting pivot

The Hornets, especially CP3 & David West, were pissed management somewhat gave-up on the season with the Chandler trade. But now, with him back, I expect to see them turn things up over the next few weeks and for Chandler to return to last year's elite play around the basket. Speaking of CP3, while Stuckey has the potential to be a solid defender in this league, he's still not totally comfortable guarding the point...and tonight he has one of the best, if not the best with no one backing him up. As a result, the getting hotter Hornets ride some crazy momentum and absolutely destroy a team ready to close-up shop!
HORNETS ROLL BY 14-20 POINTS

I know they f*cked me last night, but maybe pimp-daddy Rashard, Hedu and Dwight were thinking of...

...having some fun at The Garden tonight!

ORLANDO MAGIC (-2.5) @ NEW YORK KNICKS
Listening to Magic headmaster Ron Jeremy blast his squad, especially the starters, for acting as if they weren't ready to play, I honestly believe they were thinking about putting on a show in Gotham for Spike, Nate Rob's Old School buddy Will, and all the other crazy stars. Especially for an up-n-coming mega superstar like Dwight, not to mention Superman looking to redeem himself after Krypto-Nate stole his powers at the dunk contest, I expect the freak to absolutely destroy a team without a true center on the roster.

While the Knicks have been sick of late, just like party girls after a week at the beach, they're due for an off night!

On the Knickerbocker side, while they've been a ball to watch, they're doing it with the strangest cast of characters playing out of their azz. Especially Nate Dogg, who sucks me in with his passion & excitement like a Nautica Thorn Adult Video, I expect him to finally comeback down to earth after three weeks of magic...especially tonight, overextending himself trying to outperform Mr. Howard. As for the rest of the NY cast, this is a perfect match-up for the Magic considering their forwards (Hedu & Rashard) are just better versions of Al Harrington, Wilson Chandler, & Q-Richardson...ORLANDO BY DOUBLE DIGITS

NCAA ACC HOOPS ATS SPECTACULAR

It's been a long time since things lined-up so perfectly on the ATS docket for a team like the Blue Devils!

DUKE BLUE DEVILS (-6) @ MARYLAND TERRIPANS
DO WANT TO KNOW WHY...PLEASE TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 69-53 ats…57%
NBA 49-38 - NCAA 14-13 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
My ATS Bus got rollin' yesterday (3-1)...Touch Me Here to see why!

How cool is it that Laveranues Coles is a WR in real life, but played QB in the award-winning film The Last Boy Scout!

Before we hit my NBA Play of the Day, the Jets and Laveranues Coles have severed ties on the final year of his contract so the Damon Wayans look-alike could find a long-term deal. As a Bear fan, while Anquan Boldin is my Andriana Lima (aka #1 choice), the 31 year-old speedster with mitts Rashad Davis could only dream about is my Jennifer Aniston (aka a solid veteran option always in solid shape).

While Boldin is my Lima-type of choice, considering what we had, I'll take any Hollywood Cougar-type choice at WR!

The durable Coles had 93 catches and 1098 yards in 2006, missed four games in 2007 (his first time missing action since the 2000 season) and bounced back with 70 receptions, 850 yards, & 7 tuddies last season. While some may be scared following the Muhsin Muhammad experiment, Laveranues still has solid athleticism & elite speed, keeps his body in Greggy G shape, and will be much cheaper (relatively) than Moose was. I know he’s not a savior, but considering the Bears cheapness of late (Marty Booker last year), he’d immediately become the best WR on the squad and provide phenomenal hands & route running for whatever middle-of-the-road QB is under center.

While they're usuallly all smiles when the final horn sounds, they're all business starting from the opening tip!

Even thought the team in red always puts on a nice show, tonight's TNT stage has the audience King James loves!

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (-2.5) @ HOUSTON ROCKETS
The reason most casual betters refuse to even sniff the NBA docket is the perception that no matter how you analysis a game, a team can simply take the night off. In the Cavs case, they reason that’s not an option is the desperately need home-court throughout the playoffs. After losing Game Seven in Boston last year, King James & Co. are more desperate than Tara Reid in Hollywood to finish atop the East. And as it stands now, Boston & Cleveland are basically dead even.

The Cavs are on mission to climb above Boston in the East!

Since losing to the Lakers and a hiccup two night later in Indiana, the Cavs have won five straight by an average of 16 ppg and should look fresh having played the last couple at home (and rested their starters most of Tuesday’s contest against Memphis). In addition, the underrated combo-guard Delonte West (wrist- probable) returned to action Sunday against Detroit (he only sat out Tuesday because it was the Grizz) and looked better than ever (8-11 FG, 5-5 3-pt, 4-4 FT, 5 reb, 4 ass). In addition, while all the so-called gurus called the Cavs crazy for holding onto Wally’s expiring contract, KG’s old whipping-boy has been solid this season (45 fg%, 41 3pt%) and is a perfect compliment for Bron-Bron spotting-up on the perimeter.

While Ron final looks recovered from his Kings experience...

...he doesn't have the lift or wildness that made him a star!

On the Rockets side, while I honestly believe their better knowing T-Mac is not day-day (not to mention he appears to be suffering from Penny “suddenly washed-up” Hardaway-syndrome), their still in somewhat of a transition mode with the rotation…especially with the departure of PG Rafer Alston. I know Ron Artest has finally found his mojo after an injured-plagued first half and the insertion into the starting line-up, but for all the talk he’s the "Tru Warrior" he once was, he’s become more of jump-shooter than an aggressive attacker.

While Mr. Battier has always done the little things over the years to become a solid wing defender...

...he doesn't have the size or strength to stop flawless beast!

As for the match-ups, starting with the best baller on the planet, while casual fans probably see Shane Battier & Mr. Artest as the quintessential wings to slow Bron-Bron, they no longer have the quickness to come close to slowing the hardwood god. As for a prediction, Ron-Ron will try to use his hands-on tactics and will find himself in foul trouble immediately, while Battier will simply be overpowered and shot-ova by the man-child. Throw-in Houston’s Bigs that play smart D, but don’t move too well, and I expect King James to absolutely takeover tonight’s contest in-front of Sir Charles & the TNT crew.

Just like dating a girl with big rose tat like this...

...or one with a hidden gem on her wrist & panti line...

...Big Z has a nastiness that's extremely underrated!

On the block, while Yao Ming has been extremely efficient of late, the size & smarts from Big Z should keep the Cavs from having to double down too much. Throw-in the bruising tacktics from Big Ben & the Brazilian Side Show Bob when they take a turn, I don’t see the Chinaman having that much success.

Touch Me Here...I promise Greggy's next pics are A-OK!

And finally, probably the most underrated aspect of tonight’s game…

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 69-54 ats…56%
NBA 49-39 - NCAA 14-13 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

With his ole squad struggling, I have a feeling the Matrix...

...will be more excited than this to put on those black socks!

TORONTO RAPTORS (+3.5) @ PHOENIX SUNS
The Suns looked more depressed in Los Angeles than a female entertainer on the set of “No Holes Barred”. And tonight, they head back to Phoenix to play a suddenly hot Raptors squad in-front of half as many fans as they had a couple weeks ago. Speaking of those crazy Canadians, swapping the Matrix for Jermaine O’Neal was an absolute steal for Toronto. And not only for salary purposes, but because the Suns' ole high-flying stuff-stuffer gives the Boshinator his lane back!

Just like the ole days, with Jermaine finally out, the Boshinator can be aggressive in the paint at both ends!

With Marion able to score w/out being a focal point on offense (aka the anti JO) and the 7-foot Bargnani spacing the floor (last 2 gms: 27 ppg, 7 rpg, 57-3pt%), the crafty kid from Dallas finally looked like his old self in only his third game back (26 pts, 6 reb, 2 blk). In addition, because of Shawn’s unique abilities, Jose Calderon now has a perfect slasher for his playmaking wizardry. Throw-in the remarkable play of late from the always efficient Anthony Parker (last 2 gms: 24 ppg, 7 rpg, 5 apg) and the deadly range from 6th man Jason Kapono (43-3pt%), and Toronto should easily start to climb in the East.

Unlike our flawless friend, the Suns don't have the long, young legs to slow the frontcourt from Labatt Blue-land!

Back to tonight’s contest, with the Black Jesus out, no team in the league has worse options at PF than the Suns. Their last two games, SF Grant “Bionic-Ankle” Hill has slide over to the position to start the game, while a long-haired white dude named Louis weighing 225 lbs came off the bench. As a result and with Shaq on a back-to-back (not to mention the emotion from playing against Kobe last night), Bosh should have a field day working his mid-range and low-post game. As for Nash (ankle-questionable), considering he already lost a few steps, I can’t see how he looks sharp on a bad wheel and against the active Senior Calderon. And finally, love him or hate, Shawn Marion will be psyched to be playing in Phoenix tonight and will love that thought of blowing-out his ole crew…RAPTORS BY 7-12 POINTS

You know why she looks worried, she bet on Denver, but just found out the Lakers starters barely played last night!

LOS ANGELES LAKERS (-2.5) @ DENVER NUGGETS
The Nuggets have been struggling of late losing the final three games of their road trip and barely beating an undermanned Hot-Lanta squad at home Wednesday. As for the Lakers, they basically had the night off blowing out Phoenix yesterday as the bench totaled 119 minutes of action. Throw-in a banged-up frontcourt for the Nuggets, and I expect the Lakers to beat Carmelo & Co. for a third straight time this season with ease…LAKERS BY 7-12 POINTS

While he's never been a perfect for a whole season, he's always been an inside-out master when he's in the mood!

LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS (+2) @ SUCKTOWN KINGS
The few times Camby, Baby-Fat Zach, & Baron have all been on the floor together, the results have been rather impressive. And since ESPN’s Bill Simmons candid article came out where he sat in Baron’s kitchen at the deadline convincing him to play with the same magic & passion that made us luv him (and AK-47 posterized forever), the crazy cat has led his squad to two wins & averaged 21 pts, 8 ass, 8 reb, & 4 steals in the process. Actually, I shouldn’t have said led as Zach has been a beast since returning from cracking that cracker on PHX (29 ppg, 12 apg). Throw-in a bunch of youngsters that have already received a ton of PT cause of injuries and a rare opportunity for a 4 game win-streak w/ a home tilt Saturday w/ Charlotte, & I actually expect the Clip to have some swagger tonight.

While peeling away assets for youngsters can be exciting, peeling away solid players for cap-space is depressing!

As for the Kings and/or PICTURES OF MORE HOTTIES…

TEASIN' T-BONE'S 09 HARDWOOD STATS: 60%
NBA: 7-2 NCAA: 8-7

In celebration of the end of the shortest month of the year, my vertically challenged friends and I ask you to make it a day worth remembering.....short people style!

Orlando Magic -2 @ Philadelphia 76ers

Both of these clubs played last night and had to hop on a plane...Philly from New York and Orlando from....well, Orlando. Normally it is good to stay away from a back-to-back, but since both of them played, I'm considering that a non-factor. 2 other factors however sparked my interest today. The first is the fact that the Magic are 26 games above .500 and have somehow lost 2 of 3 against the friggin' Bulls and Pistons. Odds tell me that a team that many games above .500 doesn't drop 3 of 4(BTW, they haven't lost 3 of 4 yet this year and only lost 2 in a row once), and with the line at -2, I'll take my chances and be upgrading to Alize tomorrow.

I hear that Philly has removed all phone booths from the city, I don't think that will be enough to help kid Delambert!

The second factor is the Superman theory. The matchup of Dwight Howard and Samuel Delambert is a joke in my mind. Delambert is only good enough to play 25 minutes a game on a ball club that loses as many as it wins, and we actually expect him to keep Superman in check, I don't think so. Expect Howard to take the pressure off the rest of the team and use his size and speed to blow by the weary legs of the '6ers. Magic by 10-ish.

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