Inside Plays

Whether it is Beer Pong or Bowling, make sure it meets Teasin' T-Bone's Sunday Funday approval list!

It's Sunday Funday and I just realized I have to walk to the liquor store in my PJ pants to pick up my Alize from the Orlando Magic winna from yesterday. But I don't mind wearing my Kansas City Chiefs Zubas with a pocket-full of lettuce cause it draws some double takes from the non-penile gender. Since we are talking about my beloved Chiefs, I loved the news about Cassell. Although this won't turn them into a playoff contender next year, it does show me that the new management team understands the importance of having a leader in the QB position. And quite honestly, I'd have to say that Joe Montana is the last QB leader they had, too bad he was on his retirement tour while in KC.

A leader is a leader, I don't care what color he is wearing...

The only thing that could make me happier for the Chiefs is if I see them pick up a couple young but solid offensive lineman and one all star wideout. If they don't do that soon, we will all find a highly paid Cassell all dinged up by mid-season and scared to drop back and throw more than a 5 yard slant. So lets all grab a 40 of OE today, screw off the cap, throw it over your shoulder, pour out a little for Derrick Thomas(the best Chief ever in my book), and dump the rest down your throat in anticipation of the football season that is still unfortunately 5 months away.

Back to the NBA, where the Mavs will look flawless!

As for my pick of the day, I'm going to stick in the NBA since it has paid out for me 80% of the time this year.

Toronto Raptors @ Dallas Mavericks -6

I agree with all Raptor fans that the addition of Shawn Marion is exciting and will open up the lane for Chris Bosh, but as we see with any mid-season acquisition, it just takes some time for everyone to get used to each other. Add that onto the fact that Toronto is the second worst team in the East, then consider that Dallas is fighting for a playoff spot, then multiply that answer by 9, cuz the Mavs have won 9 of 10 against the Raptors, then top it all off with the Mavs being at home. What you end up with is a number that is a number, but a million reasons why Dallas takes this one without breaking a sweat.

Keep it light fellas, looks like there might be some other things to tend to today as well!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 69-57 ats…54%
NBA 49-42 - NCAA 14-13 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

Considering they gave Mini Me a handful of seasons...

...don't wave goodbye to Greggy G for one bad week!

Since my hoops picks last week sucked worse than Lane Kiffin's inagural performance in Nashville (BTW, talk about a trophy Cougar...u seen Mrs. Kiffin?), I thought it was a Halle Berry-perfect time to introduce the new member of the IP.com team...my Homeboy Otis Van Style! A former Sports Writer that's written the gamut on all professional & college surfaces, Otis opens his tenure breaking down the diamond with a fantasy/A-Roid twist. So without further ado, say hello to a cat with plenty more journalist skills than my sorry-azz.

BASEBALL PROSPECTUS WITH SOME FLAXSEED FLAIR
By: Otis Van Style...aka ur Fantasy Cuz

Just like Jorge sliding unda the radar the last few years, ur Fantasy Cuz has the 2009 gems to help you collect this year!

Prepping for my '09 fantasy draft, & possibly a home run pool, requires the annual reading of Baseball Prospectus & a skimming of the Bill James Handbook. And while I already knew this, I have to say it still sucks knowing the standards for stats have changed so drastically since I was a youngster. Guys that were studs when I collected cards wouldn’t crack most lineups these days w/ their 1980 & early 90's figures. I remember thinking a guy who hit 20 pumps a year was a feared power hitter. Now, Jorge Cantu pops 29 like it‘s nothing.

Just like plenty of potential Baywatch babes lost out on stardom because someone decided to enhance...

...Rice waited too long to get the recognition he deserved!

Clearing the record books of accomplishments from 1994 and beyond or placing asterisks all over the place is ridiculous. We don’t know who’s clean. It is important, though, for us as fans to recognize what era guys were playing in when they tallied their numbers. Take a look at Jim Rice. The guy finally made the HOF this year. Why did it take so long? Well, probably because, overall, based on our current standards, his career numbers of 382 home runs and .298/.352/.502 over a 16-year career didn't look overly impressive.

As a casual diamond fan (fan on the right), did you know...

...how high this CF ranks on the all-time digger list?

After all, the dude is tied with Cubs legend Jim Edmonds for 55th on the all-time home run list. But more than 20 guys on the list above him played in the 90’s or 00’s, including many PED users, such as Jose Canseco, Alex Rodriguez, Juan Gonzalez, and Rafael Palmeiro--all members of the Texas Rangers Steroid Club, along with Ivan Rodriguez (27 home runs in 91 games in 2000 and a total of 45 bombs in his last 520 games or so--you figure it out).

When guys like Giles have a higher career SLG% than Mr. Rice, you know somthing is wrong with this era!


The era of enhancement! Watch out Katie, the feds r comin!

From 1975-1986, Rice finished in the top five in MVP voting six times. Among the 54 guys above Rice on the career bombs list, only a handful did most of their damage during the 70’s and 80’s--Reggie, Stargell, Schmidt, Winfield, Dawson, and Dale Murphy. The former four are in the Hall, Dawson will get there, and Murphy won two MVPs before washing up early. Rice had a higher career slugging percentage than all of them besides Schmidt and Stargell, although the .502 career mark of Rice is lower than that of 90’s-00’s legends like Brian Giles and Richie Sexson. Yes, Brian Giles has a higher career slugging percentage than the Straw that Stirs the Drink.

Who didn't luv slugger Dave Kingman even if he struck out like the modern day Adam Dunn...he's still a pimp!

There are currently 43 players who have hit 400 career home runs. Dave Kingman used to stand alone as the only player with 400+ who wasn’t in the Hall. Times have changed. In 1977, Rice led the AL with 39 home runs. In 1978, when Rice led the AL with 46 bombs, Nobody else even hit 35. Between 1971-1986, the American League leader in home runs didn’t hit more than 40 on 12 occasions. In the 13 seasons from 1995-'07 the AL leader hit at least 50 pumps eight times.

Just like Greggy G at the beach...let's take a closer look!

Hitting 40 is nothing now. Look at some of these ridiculous single-season totals the past decade or so from relatively average players:

Luis Gonzalez- 57 in 2001
Brady Anderson- 50 in 1996
Shawn Green- 49 in 2001
Adrian Beltre- 48 in 2004
Vinny Castilla- 46 in 1998
Carlos Pena- 46 in 2007
Richard Hidalgo-44 in 2000
Javier Lopez-43 in 2003
Matt Williams-43 in 1994
* and the season ended in early August because of the strike)
Tony Batista-41 in 2000 (yes, I said Tony "MFin" Batista)

Talk about sleeper picks, who took Batista in their 2000 HR pool?

With Otis Van Stizzle out of the way, time for some ATS Luv!

TOUCH ME HERE FOR ATS LUV FELLAS, TOUCH ME HERE!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 70-57 ats…55%
NBA 49-42 - NCAA 15-13 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
*Greggy G's opened the week 100% ATS so far...WANT 2 C WHY?

Hey Denver, how about we give you Kyle, this chick, and our 1st rd. pick for the 25 year-old you think is nuttin' special?

Is the Bronco Brass Sippin' on Paris Hilton’s-Smart Sauce?
For all the talk Jay Cutler’s a prima donna and acted like a cry-baby when information surfaced he was being shopped, does he really sound much different than most upper-echelon signal-callers. I mean Dan Marino’s panties still get in a bunch when Boomer correctly claims Danny can’t be compared to the all-time greats because he didn’t win a Super Bowl. I know you’re probably laughing when I use Marino & Cutler in comparison, but the 6-3 rollout-wiz has already put himself in an elite class of QBs with his stats over his first three seasons.

While I agree he threw too many picks this year, just like...

...Jenn Thomas, I think Jay's future is extremely bright!

In addition, Cutler's shown solid improvement in almost every statistical category w/ the exception of INTs. But considering he’s always played w/ an awful defense usually full of former Browns cast-offs, plenty of those were because he was playing catch-up…not to mention his undersized line was masterful at run-blocking, but couldn't keep the pocket from caving versus a pass rush. As for the ridiculous media criticism talking about Cutler needing a pacifier when compared to players like Derrick Brooks not complaining about being cut...are you frickin’ serious! Brooks & Jason Taylor are AARP vets trying to hang-on, while the Broncos totally blindsided their 25 year-old up-n-comer (btw, Misty Rain was phenomenal in in Up and Cummers 26) and he’s getting roasted for telling the Denver Post “I’m upset. I mean, I’m really shocked at this point!”…what the f*ck did you expect him to say?!

While Cassell may be the perfect boy to bring home to Dad...

...like Cutler, it's more fun to sneak home the wild ones!

While I’m not saying the kid from Vandy doesn’t act like a douche-bag at times, but if anything, it’s because he has some superstar confidence & watched plenty of his idols do the same. As for who Denver wanted to replace him with, taking nothing away from Matt Cassell’s solid relief performance last year, I’m amazed how many teams are convinced he’s going to duplicate those feats away from the Patriot-genius and with the added pressure of being the man. Even when Brady went down, nobody expected Cassell to succeed, which made things easy for the former Trojan…who also had the luxury of learning an offense and & scheme from Mr. Bundchen. Call me crazy, but for a third of the price, I'll take the kid Minny traded for...Sage MFin Rosenfels. While Mr. Cassell may prove me wrong, mark my words…he’s going to be a huge disappointment in KC.

Btw, before hitting up my ATS picks, did you check out the new IP.com guru, Otis Van Style, breaking down some fantasy baseball?

Because of knee surgeries, Fr. phenom Delvon Roe needed time to work back into form...but now, he's ready to roll!

MICHIGAN STATE SPARTANS (-13.5) @ INDIANA HOOSIERS
After an emotional victory against the Illini Sunday, most gambling gurus would tell you tonight’s trip to Assembly Hall against the last place Hoosiers is a trap game for the Spartans. But unlike the norm, this ATS-wizard will tell you (23-5,13-3) Michigan St. finally seems to be clicking on all cylinders and Coach Izzo knows his overachieving squad needs to continue to gain momentum with tournament play on the horizon. Also, it’s been ten years since Izzo won the Big Ten regular season title outright, and with two more wins, the feisty-shorty can have those bragging rights again. Throw-in the improving stamina of 6-8 Jr. Raymar Morgan (walking phenomena) and the development of 6-8 Fr. Delvon Roe (last 5 gms: 10 ppg, 7 rpg, 62-fg%) in his absence, and this deep squad has the makings of a Final Four squad.

In my opinion, you need plenty of backside to finish strong in the Big Ten...and the Spartans have plenty of dat!

Watching them basically control Illinois from start to finish Sunday, the biggest development in the Spartans play has been their overall defensive intensity & execution. While they’ve always been a beast on the glass & active defending the perimeter, the State is denying the ball better then ever and forcing their opponents to catch the ball in uncomfortable spots. And tonight, with an extremely young Hoosier squad that does not handle the rock or rebound well, I have a feeling Izzo will be stressing to his kids they should be able to dominate every possession.

The past year for the Hoosiers & Britany has been disastrous!

Speaking of the (6-22, 1-15) disaster that is the post-Kelvin Sampson Era, Indiana actually played well Saturday before losing by three at Penn State. While some believe that means they’re turning the corner, I believe the extremely short & sloppy squad believes they missed their finally opportunity for a win with MST and trip to Madison left on the docket. I could go into more detail, but the Hoosiers lost to the Spartans by 28 earlier this year and Izzo’s squad wasn’t playing nearly as efficiently as they are now…MICHIGAN STATE BY 20-25 PTS

With Allen out, Rip & Rasheed are finally having fun again!

DENVER NUGGETS @ DETROIT PISTONS (-3.5)
I told you last week the Pistons would be a better team if A.I. was not on the roster...TOUCH ME HERE FOR MORE INFO & HOTTIES

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 71-58 ats…55%
NBA 50-42 - NCAA 15-14 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
*Greggy G's 67% ATS overall & 100% in the NBA this week

Trust me Homeboys...he knows what he's doing!

PATS/CHIEFS CONSPIRACY THEORIES AN ABSOLUTE JOKE
Following-up my breakdown of the Jay Cutler fiasco and my belief that Thyme Rosenfels is a better option than Matt Cassell yesterday (not to mention the treat of another drunk-azz pic of Krazy Kyle),
I want to briefly slam the gridon-iron conspiracy theorists on the BS of:
“How the hell did KC get Cassell & Pro Bowl LBer Matt Vrabel for a 2nd round pick when other squads reportedly were offering a 1st round pick. Something's MFin fishy with those cheaters!"

Just like w/ NE, what's the point of paying a high price for a model when you can bargain shop for some hidden gems!

Think about this for a second. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, Belichick & Co. always find gems in the NFL Draft no matter what the round. And when comparing the talent in the middle of the 1st (Denver’s reported offer) & the early 2nd they received from KC, I’m guessing the Pats believed the difference in talent was much smaller than the price-tag difference of signing a 1st rounder. In addition, trading a former 7th rounder (Cassell) & a smart, but aging & pricey LBer (dime a dozen), New England frees-up almost 20 M to upgrade in FA and gives themselves flexibility on draft day…not to mention the luxury of turning Denver into a MFin soap-opera! Now that's what I call organizational big-pimpin'!

With that, let's hit-up some NBA ATS Magic!

The crazy white-boys in Utah have been all smiles of late!

HOUSTON ROCKETS @ UTAH JAZZ (-8)
Considering both team are hotter than Jessica Alba in a yellow two-piece, I know this number seems higher than Snoop Doog on a purple plane, but have you seen the Rockets travel schedule of late? Tonight will be their fourth game in five nights, but more significantly, they’ve been all over the map and will be participating in the dreaded one-day at home before heading to Utah on a back-to-back. As for the particulars, after facing LeBron in Houston Thursday, Ming & Co. played in cold-azz Chicago & Minnesota this past Saturday & Sunday, before briefly heading home for a tilt with Toronto last night.

Houston's more worn-out than a pair of ole jean shorts!

Speaking of Jazz, nobody in the NBA enjoys playing Sloan’s hard-nosed squad in-front of those Salt Lake-crazies, especially with everybody finally healthy (AK-47, Boozer, & Harpring) and D-Will playing at a MVP level. And tonight,Williams will have the luxury of using his strength to push the newly anointed & tiny starting point Aaron Brooks into the paint all night. Especially with a tired Yao forced to guard the red-hot Mehmet Okur on the perimeter (last 5 gms: 21 ppg, 12-15 from three), the well-rested Boozer & AK-47 paired with the energetic play of Paul Milsap underneath, and the recent emergence of Ronnie Brewer (last 5 gms: 21 ppg, 6 rpg) & Aston Korver (last 5 gms: 11-21 from deep), I expect the Jazz to easily roll against the tired & bruised bodies from Houston...UTAH BY 14-20 POINTS

While he's not playing tonight, what a pick-up for the Spurs...and I guarantee he'll look even smoother unda Pops!

SAN ANTONIO SPURS (+3) @ DALLAS MAVERICKS on ESPN
Besides clutch shooting & not getting beaten by Joumana, J-Kidd's biggest struggle is defending quick point guards. As a result, Jason Terry, rusty from missing more than month and never known for his lockdown D, will be forced to slow one of the hottest ballers in the Association...Tony MFin Longoria (last 5 gms: 26 ppg, 8 apg). Throw-in a well-rested Timmy D against a frontcourt that's never had an answer, the room Tony & he will have with Bonner (49-3pt%), Mason (43-3pt%), & Finley (40-3pt%) spacing the floor, and a showcase on ESPN, and I expect to see the Spurs look sharp against the Mavs shaky D.

After what happened in Oklahoma City & the public scolding from Cuban, the Mavs don't want to show their face 2night!

Speaking of Dallas, with the playoffs on the line and the lowly-Thunder playing without Kevin Durant & Jeff Green, how bad is the Maverick-psyche after they were crushed by some rookies & NBA-vagabonds. Throw-in the fact that their only talented wing (Josh "Smokey Speed-Racer Hatin' America" Howard) left Monday's contest after reaggravating an ankle injury, and this has the makings of an easy Spurs victory...SAN ANTONIO BY 10-16 POINTS

I thought Del Harris was supposed to spend his energy helping rookie headmaster Vinny Del Scott Baio?

GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS (+7.5) @ CHICAGO BULLS
TOUCH ME HERE for my kick-azz breakdown & MORE HOTTIES

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 71-61 ats…54%
NBA 50-45 - NCAA 15-14 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

After my debacle on the ATS docket last night, all I wanted to do was jump on my bike and ride far far away!

But like ManRam, no matter what I did the day before, I know a have a special talent to make people smile today!

In all honesty, my slightly-unda .500 record the last two weeks had me waking-up more depressed than Heathler Locklear when she realized she wasted the hottest, most successful years of her life with third-tier dudes. From the innocent girl next door cuteness of Tara Reid in American Pie & Van Wilder, I feel like I punished my fans with 4 years of lipo, booze, and plastic implants from a chimp all in one evening.

Just like Tara, I lost the girl next door look yesterday!

But unlike Reid’s ability to go into hiding or head to a rehab clink, Insideplays doesn’t get a vacation day and doesn’t have time to respond to the 244 messages of hate mail I received yesterday…I just have time to ramble about the leagues of balls and find the next winner. So without further ado, like Jenna Jameson’s current retirement, it’s only a matter of time before I get back to the one thing I’m good at.

I GUESS MANNY BEING MANNY WORKS
I have three thoughts on ManRam re-signing with the Dodgers:

After all the drama...some people can still produce flawlessly!

1- When the Eastern Seaboard Programming Network’s “BOO-YA” comedy anchors would ask every diamond-guru why LA didn’t lower their offer since no one else was interested, every single one I heard said they had no idea. Are you serious…it’s MFin simple. If you want Manny on your roster, he has to be somewhat happy. If the Dodgers waited till the last minute and hardballed him down to 15 Mill, they’d be gettin a cat giving Joe Torre a Tim Thomas type of effort…aka, I’ll try really hard 75% of the time.

2- While the Dodgers desperately needed his bat, the biggest reason they didn’t want to live without him was the turnstile sales. And if the dropped into the teens, that would’ve brought in a bunch of teams thinking the same thing in, not to mention some AL heavy-hitters willing to pay that for a dominating DH. BTW, speaking of the DH, I don’t understand how a National League squad can stomach paying Manny when they have to play him in the field.

3- The talk of Boras & Manny getting shafted is hilarious because it is so far from the truth. Whatever Boras said prior to negotiations means absolutely nothing. The long-haired freak will be paid more money this year than the contract he opted out of, and next year, considering this economy even has professional athletes taking a pay-cut, Manny has the option if he wants to take ova 20M next year. Love him or hate him, Boras is like Nautica Thorn…a superstar at what he does.

Lil Jerome will be one you fall in luv w/ come the Big Dance!

CALIFORNIA BEARS (+5) @ ARIZONA WILDCATS
As you’ve heard me preach like a professional athlete after being arrested, I love the Bears. The former Stanford & NBA coach Mike Montgomery has all the genius-ness he had before, but now, seems to motivate his players in a more relaxed and rational style. Throw-in three guards/wings on the perimeter shooting a shade below 50% from deep and paired with a veteran frontcourt, and I’m expected an nice road win against the draft-intrigued, newly coached Wildcats…CAL BY 5-10 POINTS

GREGGY G'S 75% ATS SUCCESSFUL TEASER SPECIAL

Just like Jessica on a boat, Greg Gamble luvs to Tease!
TOUCH ME HERE TO TAKE A PEEK HOMEBOYS!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 72-62 ats…54%
NBA 50-45 - NCAA 16-14 - Teasers 6-3 - Church League 69-0

Mr. Owens doesn't need another team...he needs a shrink!

As a diehard Bear fan & a drama-queen loving scribe, I wanted Plax the day a loaded gun went-off in his Zubaz & still pray Anquan will be yelling at one of our coaches on the sideline next year. But news the aging, drop-happy, cry-baby was released, even the cynical bones in my rapidly expanding body didn't want to see TO in Chi-Town. I know the few Owens backers will say he's still a threat, but honestly, I believe he's the most overrated WR in the game at this point in his career.

Unlike TO, her performance in underwear is underrated!

Another step slower & still dealing with some hand injuries, the prima donna needs a star-QB, additional receiving weapons to keep him single-covered, and an entrenched head coach with total control of the organization...I know, it sounds too obvious, but it just seems to be the only logical option. Moss, Welker, & Owens...Mr. Bunchden's knee suddenly feels even better! Especially considering Terrell can probably be had for cheap, not to mention the money the Pats saved on their last trade (as I discussed with sexy vigor earlier this week), for once, the NFL experts might have something right!

THE FRIDAY NIGHT NBA ATS SPECTACULAR!

Hold on tight Homeboys & girls, tonight's tilt should be wild!

Considering Bron had no trouble when KG was in the paint, I'm guessing he has a field day with Big Baby in his place!

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (+2) @ BOSTON CELTICS
Even though both Championship contenders will be missing a defensive enforcer underneath, let's just say KG is more Megan Fox while Big Ben is more Megan Cougar...and that's "Cougar" as in sexy cause ur in a dive bar & she's confidently wearing a thong, chuggin' a Bud Select, & refusing to show you her Driver's License. And that's not even counting how much they miss Garnett's offensive production, or how the Brazilian Side-Show Bob is twice the replacement of Big Fat Baby!

Unlike this outfit, the Celts haven't looked as sharp lately

While Boston looked solid early as they played their "We can win without our superstar"-card, they've look extremely tired of late and have struggled against some pretty lousy competition (Clippers, Pacers, & Nets), not to mention they were easily handled by the Pistons in Beantown last weekend. On the Cavs side, they have taken control of home-court in the East and will definitely be looking to keep the momentum rolling like Kirsty Alley down a hill!

While Paulie's always found creative ways to get to the cup, the Cavs are ready to handle his sneaky ways!

Throw-in the King James unguardable-factor against the oddly-shaped Paulie...and the "We have a true playoff-helper (Joe Smith) and you have Mikki Moore & the Artist Formerly known as Starbury"-thing, and I expect the Cavs to dominate tonight. I could go on, but considering I probably would have taken Bron-Bron to win straight-up if KG was playing, trust me Homeboys...CLEVELAND ROLLS WITH EASE

And you gotta luv that this game is on ESPN tonight...

...so sit back, relax, & enjoy the free money from Greggy G!

HORIZON, MISSOURI VALLEY, & IVY LEAGUE SPECIAL

Just like these two at the pool, the collegiate roundball action gets even more passionate when March rolls around!

...or if you just want more gratuitous photos...TOUCH ME HERE

Welcome to Saturday Banter with Teasin' T-Bone, and if you didn't get a chance to witness Greggy G's TO prediction yesterday, just CLICK HERE and it is all yours. As for me, I think it is about time that we let out a little secret to all owners of pro sports teams....

Unlike 2PAC that lived the thug life, AI just lives the selfish life!

You can have all the friggin' goodies in the goodie bag, but if you ain't willing to share, you deserve to be sitting by yourself wondering what could have been! I think we can jump in our Delorian and go back in time to take a look at selfish pro sports players that have way more talent than anyone else, yet prove to be cancer to the organization, but the two that are most recent are TO and AI.

Jarah Mariono, a team player in my book.

Both of these players have bounced around to several teams, have proven that they only care for themselves, create drama in the media and the locker room, and magically don't have any rings to speak of. Yet we still have owners that somehow look through all of that because of their talent level. How can that be? I sure would think that if you are an owner, you have to have some success at being a business owner, so why do they all of a sudden get dumb when it comes to sports?

Even the extremely head strong Jones could only handle a few years of TO!

I truly believe that it all comes down to most of these owners being extremely head strong. For whatever reason, they feel like they can be that magic person on the planet that can change who these cry babies actually are. But put your ear close to the screen cuz I have a secret for ya....IT'S WHO THEY ARE, YOU CAN'T CHANGE THEM, NO ONE CAN CHANGE THEM!! It's like trying to ask a rock to be a fish, it doesn't work. With all that being said, I don't think it is a surprise to you when I say that both of these guys should be unsigned, sitting on their couches at the begginning of their next season. No matter how much they say they want to help the team win, it won't happen because of who they are....internally. And let that lead into my pick of the day....

Do you want to live your life like this? Didn't think so, grab a mimosa and take a break from reality, and do it an hour earlier!

First and foremost, as if you aren't already stoked that it is Sunday and you have another full day of sports and calling your favorite bookie, today you get an extra bonus. This Sunday makes up for the other 51 Sundays when you are trying to come up with a reason to start sippin' on Alize before noon. Well today you woke up and it was magically an hour closer to noon than when you went to bed. So thank the 'spring forward' concept because it just brought you an excuse to drink at 11am and not have the better half filling out the divorce paperwork!

Our Inside Plays friend Jenna Jameson is living proof that you can have talent still make everyone around you happy!

And on the same day that we are so happy, we get brought down to earth by seeing the realization that cry babies without talent get paid nothing, but cry babies that drop 30+ balls a year(that's TO homeys) but has talent somehow get 6.5million a year. Something doesn't feel right with this one. But as I said yesterday(CHECK IT OUT HERE), owners continue to look at physical talent and don't account for the cancer that I call selfishness!

Teasin' T-Bone's picks are mmm, mmm, good!

On with what puts lettuce in our pockets....

Northern Illinois +4 @ Toledo

I admittedly don't know much about either team, other than the fact that they both have losing records. But I see a couple stats that make this one a little more black and white today. The first, and most important in my mind is the fact that the Huskies thumped the Rockets by 24 points earlier this season. When you lose by 24 to a sub .500 team and you only win 6 games all year, I think that means you just simply don't have the baseline talent to play in D-1. The second thing I like is that Northern Illinois puts up 10 more points a game, which tells me it will take a near perfect offensive performance for the Rockets to hang in for 40 minutes, which is tough to do for a team with 6 wins. Huskies win outright.

Much like Brooke, the ACC matchups today are oldies but goodies.

SUNDAY FUNDAY ACC TEASER SPECIAL

Duke teased to +12.5 @ North Carolina
Clemson @ Wake Forest teased to -1

I don't think the Dukies can avenge their loss from earlier this year, but Coach K will have a new game plan and a bit more focus to keep this one closer. As for Wake, they have only lost once at home and Clemson just lost at FSU.

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 75-63 ats…54%
NBA 50-46 - NCAA 19-14 - Teasers 6-3 - Church League 69-0

Nothing looks prettier than CP3 matched-up w/ Mr. Bibby...

...well, besides a nice car and some high heels!

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS (-1.5) @ ATLANTA HAWKS
Since the Chandler trade debacle, the Hornets have been on a mission to prove they are championship contenders. And CP3 versus Mike "No-D" Bibby tonight...I have a feeling we'll see a 30 and 15 from the best point guard on the planet...HORNETS BY 8-12 POINTS

Sorry to be so brief, but every one in my house is still in their PJs sippin Chicken Soup, TheraFlu, & Cognac. I'll make sure to make up for it tomorrow Homeboys...much luv!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 75-64 ats…54%
NBA 50-47 - NCAA 19-14 - Teasers 6-3 - Church League 69-0

Just like these two at this party...

...after all their disappointments this season, I expect the Irish to be relaxed and to actually have some fun 2night!

Btw, I was going to us this pic to open the post, but I wasn't sure if they looked like they were having as much fun!

RUTGERS KNIGHTS vs NOTRE DAME IRISH (-10)
With a veteran & disciplined starting line-up, opening the season winning 12 of 15 what was most expected from the Irish. But after a few tough loses in January, the confidence & swagger was quickly replaced by panic as their Big Dance chances began slipping away amist a 7-game losing streak. While Coach Brey’s squad pulled-out five of their final eight, the regular season results mean they need an unbelievable showing in the Big East Tourney to sneak into the party.

Just like this photo shoot for Miranda's caboose, the Irish have some flawless shooters from deep!

While some believe this will have Notre Dame extremely tight for their opening tilt with Rutgers, I’m guessing they’ve already dealt with the drastic disappointment of the season and will be more relaxed than ever. As for some forshadowing…for some reason my drunken threesome dream involving Kobe Tai & Spud Webb was interrupted by visions of sharp-shooting seniors Kyle McAlarney (16 ppg, 43-3pt%) & Ryan Ayers (12 ppg, 44-3pt%) raining in bombs from deep, and Jr. Luke Harangody (24 ppg, 12 rpg) absolutely dominating the paint. And you know what, I think it'll happen!

Rutgers might have to use her bucket to cool off ND's game!

As for the Scarlet Knights, they’ve lost 17 of their last 19, and even though they played Notre Dame somewhat tough a few weeks ago (Rutgers lost by 5), that was when the veteran Irish squad was still in disbelief over what their season had become…ND BY 20-25 PTS

Even if Boozer doesn't play, Millsap and...

...AK-47 have the athleticisim & passion to control the paint!

UTAH JAZZ (-3) @ INDIANA PACERS
While the Jazz currently sit in the dreaded 4th seed (1st round CP3 – 2nd round Kobe), their 11-game win-streak has them just two games behind the Spurs for the two seed. Especially with the well-rested AK-47, Boozer (questionable-ankle), & Harpring combined with the development of Coach Sloan’s youngsters because of those injuries (Brewer, Millsap, & Miles), Utah is as deep & physical as any team in the Association. I know D-Will & Co. have been absolutely awful on the road the past few seasons, but because of that, Sloan has been stressing the importance of this road-trip for the team’s psyche and opened things-up Sunday with a nice win at Toronto (109-101). While Boozer missed the contest with a minor ankle injury, the Jazz are hopefully he’ll able to play tonight.

The baby blue color of the Jazz is growing on me!

And tonight, while the Pacers have been playing extremely well of late considering they’re without their top two scorers (Granger & Dunleavy), I honestly believe this is more smoke-n-mirrors as teams have taken them lightly. While PG Jarrett Jack (last 5 games: 22 ppg) has been the superstar for Larry Bird’s squad since he’s joined T.J. Ford in the backcourt, I expect the 6-3 career back-up to struggle with the length of 6-7 Ronnie Brewer on perimeter. Throw-in the mismatches for the Pacers immobile bigs (Rasho, Foster, & Hibbert) against the sharp-shooting Okur out top and the power of Deron Williams against little T.J. Ford, and the Jazz should control the tempo and easily extrend their win-streak tonight…UTAH BY 7-12 POINTS

While Dirk is the obvious choice to dominate the PF-less Suns, look for the beastly Mr. Bass to also look sweet!

DALLAS MAVERICKS (+6.5) @ PHOENIX SUNS
While The Diesel’s provided a week or so of dominance once Amare went down...TOUCH ME HERE FOR MORE INFO & HOTTIES

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 78-64 ats…55%
NBA 52-47 - NCAA 20-14 - Teasers 6-3 - Church League 69-0
Did you miss my undefeated ATS magic & hotties yesterday?

What a coincidence, the Utah cats helped me win last night, CP3's on my docket 2night, and who doesn't luv Bron-Bron!

So come on Fellaz...time to take a ride with Insideplays!

After Mr. Gamble finally had a 3-n-0 ATS day for you, and what do you know, no text messages or calls of luv? But no worries Homeboys, unlike Jay Cutler, I don't pout like TO. (Btw, even though he's acting like a frickin' baby, the Broncos are fools...here's why!) . Back to the world of Greggy G, while some may treat me like an NBAer after a stellar contract year or a veteran of the adult industry after a wild multi-group involved video, don’t bet on it Homeboys. Just like Billy Bob at a Keg Party, after last week, this week's a “PUKING RALLY!”

So Vegas is telling me the worst team in Hoops is gonna keep these three, off a loss, from rollin' by double-digits?

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS (-8) @ WASHINGTON BULLETS
This one is gonna be short-n-sweet like the first time I was allowed to enter the Bat Cave without a hat. With the Hornets in the middle of a cluster-f*ck in the Western Conference, led by a Coach that doesn’t believe in saving his team for the playoffs, and some sick-azz matchups…this has 20-point blow-out written all over it.

Talk about picture perfect...with Utah & SA winning last night, the Hornets need to keep pace after the ATL-debacle!

CP3 & Co. looked awful opening up their road-trip in HotLanta and had a day off to steam about it. As for the match-ups, the best point guard on the planet against a well-traveled youngster named Jarvis & AARP Mike James…Tyson coming off a shitty night against the undersized & unathletic Mr. Songalia…what else u need? Oh yeah, and an awful team coming off an awful road-trip...HORNETS BLOWOUT

You know why she's so excited? She TOUCHED ME HERE for more NBA ATS Luv and plenty of friendly faces!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 79-66 ats…55%
NBA 53-49 - NCAA 20-14 - Teasers 6-3 - Church League 69-0

Did you hear, the Bears signed another bad safety!

But at least when we had to watch Archuleta get blown by...

...when you googled his name his wife would pop up!

Before roll into the money-making aspect of this glorious site (sometimes), you've heard me ramble on how the Bears need to upgrade numerous aspects of their roster, and after a month of nothing, GM Jerry Angelo finally has made a splash. And the 26 year-old Free Safety splash goes by the name of Josh Bullocks.

Maybe he'll prove us & Youtube wrong, but I hear trying to pass on the new Bears FS is like taking candy from a bikini!

But unfortunately, the reason he’s already a major hit with the Greggy G fandom is a little youtube video named in his honor…and the title probably means he’s gonna be doing much more chasing than tackling:
HOW CAN A SAFETY BE THIS BAD?...I wish I was joking Fellas!

While it's not the reason I'm picking the Spurs tonight, I just wanted to let you know these are my two Finals teams!

LOS ANGELES LAKERS @ SAN ANTONIO SPURS (-2.5)
While Vegas and casual bettors dwell on Manu being out, the Spurs have never been deadlier in my eyes. With Timmy D & Tony Longoria running the pick-n-roll to Tori Praver in a bikini-perfection and three unselfish floor spacers all shooting over 40% from behind the arc (Mason, Bonner, & Finley), Pop’s already has a championship quality squad with a well-rested Argentinean chilling for the playoffs.

The Lakers need a relaxing weekend at the beach!

As for the Lakers, after an unbelievable run without Kobe’s whipping-boy Andrew the Giant, the Lakeshow has started to look a little gassed. While I believe they’ll be as dangerous as ever come playoff time, with the #1 seed basically locked-up, I can’t see the Zenmaster keeping the peddle to the metal these final few weeks.

Not only does Mr. Bonner do the dirty work and help Timmy on the glass...he also shoots 50% from behind the arc!

And while a TNT Thursday Night Special against a rival like the Spurs is usually a circled game on the calendar, LA is playing on back-to-back after banging with Yao, Crazy Ron-Ron, Scola, & Battier. And in their dramatic come from behind victory against the Rockets, Kobe & Pau totaled 83 minutes, which comes just a few nights after they were all they way in Portland dealing with that chaotic drama. And in my opinion, I’d be much more nervous taking the Spurs if the Lakers had lost in Houston last night.

Just like this tiny suit, it'll be hard for Derick Fisher to fit through all the screens run for Tony Parker!

Back to the play tonight, especially with the rest of the Western heavy-weights chasing the Spurs for the lauded two-seed, this is much more important for the Spurs. At home, well-rested, and starting to find a nice rhythm since Timmy’s comeback from an “I’m kinds of sore, but mostly just need some rest for the final push”, I expect to see surgical perfection from my favorite to win the West this season. Throw-in the Lakers inability to slow the quickness of Longoria with veteran D-Fish (32 min. last night) or a still somewhat hobbled Jordan Farmar (knee), and don’t be surprised to see Phil resting his starters early tonight …SPURS BY 7-13 POINTS

The Cavs will bring the passion on National Television tonight to destroy the suddenly depressing vets from PHX!

CLEVELAND CAVS (-4.5) @ PHOENIX SUNS
The combination of the Sir Charles TNT stage & the unenergetic performance they provided against the lowly Clippers on Tuesday (needing a 21-point advantage in the 4th to beat them), I expect the Cavs focus to be tighter than the outfits worn by Bar Refaeli in her ‘09 SI Swimsuit Shoot! Especially with the athletic & strength limitations at SF for the Suns (Grand Hill & Matt “tatted-up” Barnes), not to mention their inability to rebound the basketball outside of a few possessions from Shaq, I expect Bron-Bron to utterly dominate tonight’s contest (prediction - 37 points, 15 bounds, & 12 assists).

While some will cross their fingers or legs regarding this play, I'm more confident than an NBAer at strip-club!

Speaking of The Artist Formerly Known as the Suns...TOUCH ME HERE FOR MORE INFO & HOTTIES HOMEBOYS!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 80-67 ats…55%
NBA 54-50 - NCAA 20-14 - Teasers 6-3 - Church League 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

I might have agreed the 6 OT thriller was the best game ever if it resulted in no longer having to see these 2 bozos!

First off, I no longer will watch a hoop contest if Devendork, with his ganster glare after a jumper or barbaric scream after an easy layup, is on the tube. As for his coach, who defends his azz no matter what the situation cause he's so desperate to make the tourney, I can't frickin' wait till he's knocked out! As for why I haven't jumped on the Conference Championship docket much this week, I'm simple scouting the field of 65 to give my fans enough playdough to sing "We goin' Sizzla, We goin Sizzla" for the next 6 months. But check in all weekend cause just like a fratboy after a summer at home, Teasin' T-Bone & yours truly can't stay away from the college action too long!

Just like Miranda's soft skin stands out on the beach...

...Yao's soft touch stands out on the hardwood!

HOUSTON ROCKETS (-1.5) @ CHARLOTTE BOBCATS
The Rockets looked to have the LakeShow beaten on Hump Day before Kobe took ova and Ron-Ron the Tru Warrior decided to stop giving Yao the rock. While the loss was painful because Houston is out to prove they can beat anybody now that T-"day-to-day" Mac is finally gone, the real Monica Seles-dagger was letting a game slip with the middle of the Western Conference separated by just a couple games.

While the Cats had been on fire, facing the Spurs proved just how average they look against the top teams in the West!

While the Cats O Bob have been playing out of their mind under Grandpa Larry of late, I just don't think their frontcourt can match-up with the Rockets (As we saw when they got blown out by Timmy D Tuesday). Especially with Yao absolutely dominating but not getting the rock enough, look for Adelman to make sure they pound the ball inside to the Chinaman against Okafor & Diop. Throw-in the underrated efficiency & banging of Luis Scola (last 5 gms: 13 ppg, 11 rpg) & Carl Landry (10 ppg, 5 rpg, 58-fg%) against the psudo-PF Boris Diaw, and I expect the Rockets to find plenty of easy buckets.

While some were shocked they traded Rafer, trust me, Aaron Brooks adds tons of speed and can actually get in the paint!

And finally on the outside, especially with Artest & Battier coming of a 5-21 night (0-12 from deep), look for the defensive specialist from Duke to spend all his energy shadowing Gerald Wallace and the crazy St. Johnnie to simply overpower Raja Bell...while make sure to get Mr. Ming the rock. At the point, while most casual fans probably believe the Cats have a huge advantage with Raymond Felton & DJ Augustin, most haven't seen the speed of new starter Aaron Brooks or the strength of Kyle Lowry. ROCKETS BY 7-12 POINTS

While some have tried to change Krypto-Nate's crazy style...

...like Pam, why change a sweet and exciting thing!

NEW YORK KNICKS (-3.5) @ MINNY T-WOLVES
The genius headmaster that was just too offensively-oriented for Stevie Kerr to cope with has a rag-tag group of Knickerbockers believing they can make the playoffs. Especially after they rolled into Mo-Town and dropped 116 in beating the Pistons, look for the swagger from Krypto Nate (last 2 gms: 62 pts, 13 ass, 21-22 FT), Larry Hughes (last 2 gms: 61 pts, 7-15 from three), and David Lee (last 3 gms: 18 ppg, 17 rpg) to continue, while their plethora of wings easily handle the injury-depleted group for the T-Wolves. If anything, Minny's rare win against the Grizz this week means they're probably due for the normal embarrassment since Al Jefferson went down...KNICKS BY 6-12 PTS

Wearing Hornets colors & looking lankier than Tyson Chandler has to be a sign CP3 & Co. are rolling in Milwaukee 2night!

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS (-3) @ MILWAUKEE BUCKS
First off, with Spurs losing last night, the Hornets can sneak even closer to the lauded two-seed with a win. Secondly, for how impressive Ramon Sessions has been taking over the point for Scottie Skiles, he's pretty Ben Gordon on defense while his back-up (Luke Ridnour) is even worse...which means CP3 does whatever the f*ck he wants tonight. And finally, a few quick match-ups, while Charlie V can shoot, he can't guard the block to save his life...so that means Mr. West goes for 28 & 14. As for the Bucks only other scorer, Richard Jefferson, let's just say James Posey doesn't get lit-up by anybody, and if someone starts to, he jacks them in the jaw...HORNETS BY 10-16 PTS

Monta MoPed's never had trouble weaving through the Mavs!

BTW, did you know Jessica was a huge Warrior fan?

DALLAS MAVERICKS @ GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS (-1.5)
The Mavs have been awesome on this road-trip without Josh "four-strikes and you're out" Howard, but tonight, chasing around the 30 wings of the Warriors in-front of those wild-azz fans should cause some problems for the tired crew. While Nellieball has been a bit different of late as the crazy coach has benched an occasional starter, don't worry, with Donnie's hatred for Mr. Cuban, Chris Mullin might be suiting-up if things get close...GOLDEN ST BY 8-14 POINTS

GREG GAMBLE'S FRIDAY NIGHT TEASER SPECIAL

Who doesn't love a teaser on Friday Night...especially when Greggy G's are winning at a redonkulous 67%-clip!

TEASIN' T-BONE'S ATS PLAY OF THE DAY

Everybody luvs D-Wade, shouldn't you?

WELCOME TO TEASIN' T-BONE'S WEEKEND ATS HOUSE
While I'm guessing your wondering where the man, the myth, the drunk 5-0 ATS yesterday-Legend GREG GAMBLE is, don't worry girls & Asians, just check back in after lunch...he promises to have some NCAA & NBA action. Until then, let me hit you up with one my favorites on the NBA docket before the spread flies through the roof once Vegas get's a wiff of the IP.com daily newsletter at 1:00!

Utah Jazz @ Miami Heat -1

Not much time today guys, so lets make this simple. Utah had won 12 in a row and finally dropped one on Wednesday. Now they hit their 4th straight road game coming off a huge run and have to go up against the Heat, who have beaten them 9 of the last 10 meetings. Oh yeah, plus Miami has this guy named D-Wade, I hear he is a decent baller. As my homey Shock G once said, 'DoWhatChaLike', but I know where my focus is today! Miami wins by 6-9.

The wise one shows us that playing with 2 round balls is better than 1, why haven't the hoopsters figured this out?

GREG GAMBLE 2:00 UPDATE - GREG GAMBLE 2:00 UPDATE

Greggy G's afternoon update has some Hornet yellow for ya!

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS (-2) @ CHICAGO BULLS
Just like I told you yesterday with the Hornets (Btw, I went 5-0), they're desperate to snag the #2 seed in the West. As for the back-2-back road game voodo, New Orleans actually had a shorter trip (Milwaukee) than Chicago (Philly) had last night. Not to mention, the Bulls lost another heartbreaker last night and probably are not too excited too hear the United Center razzing after an 0-fer road trip. Throw in that D-Rose hasn't figured out how to play elite D and that CP3 probably wants to prove the new kid ain't what he thinks he is, and I'm guessing this is a double digit victory for Byron Scott...HORNETS BY 10-16 POINTS

Trust me, she's gazing at a Bobcat...which has to be a sign!

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS (-4) @ MINNY T-WOLVES
After an unbelievable run that put the Cats in the playoff race for the first time in their existance, Grandpa Larry's crew has lost two straight...but at least those two were against the Spurs & Rockets. Even on the back-2-back (which the awful T-Wolves are also doing), I expect them to play with desperation trying to regain their postseason dreams...CATS O BOB BY 8-14 POINTS

FOR MY NCAA AFTERNOON PICK...TOUCH ME HERE PLEASE
...in case you don't touch me...I LUV PURDUE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 87-69 ats…55%
NBA 58-52 - NCAA 21-14 - Teasers 7-3 - Church League 69-0

Before we hit-up my NCAA Championship play of the day, I have to give some luv to the man, the myth. the legend!

While he's crazy, he needs some fashion advice from our girl!

PHOENIX SUNS @ GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS (-3)
The Suns tried to get-up for the big-dogs at home this week, and while they played well, the end result further proved Stevie Kerr is an idiot and the veteran Suns are not touching the post-season. As for the streaky-n-wild Warriors, Donnie Nelson's crazy mind-games has them playing for their lives...WARRIORS BY 8-14 POINTS

While the dude is crazy, he's coaching his boys up of late!

BTW, rumor has it, that's Bruce's arm pouring the pitcher!

BTW2, for some reason a Tila a Day makes me really happy!

MISS ST. BULLDOGS vs TENNESSEE VOLS (-5.5)
For the first time in Bruce "Bare-chested Car Salesman" Pearl's tenure, the overly athletic Vols have figured out if they play with some discipline they can beat anybody. While betting (legally of course) Tennessee will continue this current streak of efficiency is Paris Hilton-stupid, for some reason I think this loaded squad as figured something out. Not to mention the Bulldogs aren't that good outside of one the most exciting ballers around the rim in recent memory (Jarvis Varnado), I expect an easy victory for Pearl's posse...VOLS BY 8-14 POINTS

IT IS DANGEROUS IF DON'T CHECK OUT MY FINAL PLAY

I HAVE MORE U LIL BEEATCHES...TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 88-71ats…55%
NBA 60-53 - NCAA 21-15 - Teasers 7-3 - Church League 69-0

I don't blame you Homeboy...kinda crazy how your new coach already thinks he's Billy Belichick!

After an ATS 5-0 Friday Night that had you treating your girl to a Denny's breakfast without sweatin' her side order of bacon, I understand how the 3-4 follow-up over the weekend wasn't what you expected. But unlike Denver in the Jay Cutler-fiasco, I can save face by giving you some luv this Monday...and that's what I'm gonna do!

But speaking of pigskin players looking for new addresses, can GM Jerry Angelo stand w/ confidence like Miranda...

...when telling Chicago he's taking a chance on Mr. Jones?

I'll make this short-n-sweet. Travis Henry & Tank Johnson aside, usually taking an athlete fresh off a couple mistakes usually means your getting a baller looking to prove he's a changed man...a changed man that is also bigger than every corner in the league, has great hands, can still can fly when given a nice head start, and extremely cheap since he's rumored to have tried some nose-candy. Throw-in a 1st round pick, Krazy Kyle, and whatever else Denver wants for Mr. Cutler, and the Bears suddenly don't look to shabby. I know...it makes too much sense to get a franchise QB and an upgrade at WR...nevermind.

Back to the professional hardwood, you think it's a sign that she's sporting some San Antonio Spur colors?

SAN ANTONIO SPURS (-5) @ OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER
If you like this, play it early because the line is gonna be moving all day. The Thunder have played well of late, but mostly because teams aren't putting much energy into the contest when facing them. But with the Spurs barely holding onto the 2-seed, the Hornets playing tonight, and a coach that knows how to push the right buttons when needed...

...I expect the former champs to have a little bottom-feeder blowout swagger tonight. While I luv how Oklahoma City has shaped their roster and believe the Bulls were idiotic to basically give them Thabo for free, if a top notch contender comes to play, they can easily destroy this inexperienced squad...SPURS BY DOUBLE-DIGITS

Sit back, relax, & enjoy more by touching me here!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 88-72 ats…55%
NBA 60-54 - NCAA 21-15 - Teasers 7-3 - Church League 69-0

While I wish Krazy Kyle Orton & some draft picks were good enough, doesn't Cutler to CLE for Mr. Quinn make sense?

Like some of the tainted swimmers Ronny Mexico gave a couple of his groupies, this Cutler story just won't go away. And sorry to keep boring you with my thoughts on it, but what can I say, I luv gridiron soap-opera material. Anywho, before we hit-up my hardwood selections, including the start of the NCAA Tourney, my Homeboy Otis Van Style is back with his second installment of fantasy diamond notes. So if you're interested in collecting some paper in your HR Pool this year, make sure to check out and shoot him an email if you think he's crazy for not throwin' Pablo Ozuna on this list - otissvanstyle@yahoo.com

HANDICAPPING YOUR 2009 HOME RUN POOL
By: Otis Van Style...aka ur Fantasy Cuz

How about the Netherlands beating the Dominican twice in the WBC? Those are my guys. The Dominican had something like 23 major league players on their roster, while the Netherlands had two pitchers who “pitched”, if you can call it that, in the big leagues last year (Ponson and VandenHurk) and a bunch of guys who can’t hit the ball out of the infield. As of this writing, the U.S. and the Netherlands were getting ready to square of in an elimination game.

While I luv my Cubbie blue & hope Fukudome bounces back, I'm all business when it comes to selecting my HR cats!

Every home run pool is run differently, but for the most part, you’ll pick a certain number of players from several groups. Usually, these groups are based on how many pumps the guy hit the previous season. Because of this stat being the basis for the groups, the novice fan can be exposed in a home run pool in a bad, bad way. For example, Ty Wigginton and Luke Scott hit 23 home runs last year, so they’re in the same group as Matt Holliday (25) and Justin Morneau (23). I’m not a huge Holliday fan now that he’s in Oakland, and I also believe that Morneau’s MVP Award and continued candidacy, based solely on his RBI totals, are probably unwarranted, but you’d have to be out of your mind to pick Wigginton and/or Scott over either of them.

Here’s a rundown of my picks this year:

Group A (1 player)

Ryan Howard- If healthy, combined with the bandbox that he plays in, he’s the safe bet to lead MLB in bombs this year. The 29-year old has averaged 51 home runs in his three full seasons.

While Albert's deadly swing always look the same, if you haven't seen him yet, his body looks much different!

Group B (1 player)

Albert Pujols- Supposedly still just 29 years old, “Believe in Me” has gone deep at least 32 times in each season of his eight-year career. A machine, and as a Cubs fan, I can’t stand the dude. Looked pretty slim on the cover of SI, didn’t he? Hmmm……

Group C (3 players)

Manny Ramirez- Can you really take Jack Cust or Ryan Ludwick (and yes, both guys are in this group) over Man Ram and live wih yourself all season...didn't think so!

Just like Mr. Braun, sometimes a tiny frame can still produce!

Ryan Braun- I’ll never understand how a guy who looks like he weighs 160(listed at 6-1, 200) has so much power. 71 bombs the last two seasons, and at 25 years old, should still be getting better. As a Cubs fan, I’ve learned to hate Braun & his taunting ways quickly.

Miguel Cabrera- Led the AL last year with just 37 pumps and has hit at least 33 in four of his five full seasons. Just 26 years old, but gets bigger and less agile each year. Remember when he played right field for Florida in the 2003 NLCS? He’s a first baseman now and a future DH.

Group D (3 players)

Mark Teixeira- Might not ever again hit 43 like he did while playing in the launching pad in Arlington in 2005, but the short porch at Yankee Stadium and the pressure of the contract should allow for a minimum of 35.

You know David Wright still has the magic!

David Wright- If I have the number one overall fantasy pick, this is my guy. Has hit between 26-33 in each of his four full seasons, with the 33 coming last season. At 26 years old, the career-best number in 2008 might mean the home run number will go up again in 2009.

Hanley Ramirez- 25 years old, and home run totals have gone from 17 to 29 to 33 from 2006-2008. Future MVP.

Group E (3 players)

Lance Berkman- Good value pick here. Hit just 29 last year, but had a total of 79 extra base hits, due to 46 doubles. If some of those doubles go over the fence again, another 40 home run season is possible.

Jason Bay- With the exception of a 2007 season ruined by a knee injury, he’s been between 31-35 in each of his full seasons. 30+ out of this group is good. A bit of a risk, but the short distance of the Monster makes him a tempting pick.

Like our friend, Josh rolled onto the scene with some style!

Josh Hamilton- I’m not getting caught up in the hype from the 2008 Home Run Derby, but he simply has more upside than other options from this group, such as Beltran, Vlad, A-Ram or Youkilis, who hit 29 home runs last season, 12 of which cleared the fence by 10 feet or less. You got to love Baseball Prospectus.

Group F (3 players)

Holliday- He’s going to drop off big-time in Oakland, as his career home-road are just as drastic as Coors products such as Vinny Castilla, the Big Cat, Larry Walker, and any other Rockies legend. If the A’s are out of contention in July, he’ll be dumped since he’s in his contract year.

Morneau- Solid value pick here. He hit only 23 last year after 34 and 31 the previous two seasons. Not yet 28, so he shouldn’t be in decline.

While McCann seems like the easy choice here, let's not forget what happened last time Beltre was in a contract year!

Brian McCann- Without much fanfare, this guy is the best hitting catcher in the game. He’s jacked 65 home runs the past three seasons in his age 22-24 seasons. It is tough to take backstops in this because they never play 162 games, like other position players do. Adrian Beltre, in a walk year (remember when he hit 48 for the ’04 Dodgers) was tempting.

Well, that's all for today, but I'll be back next week with more fantasy chatter to hopefully help you win some fantasy cheddar this season. And if you missed my first piece for IP.com, Touch Me Here.
Take it easy, Otis Van Style - otisvanstyle@yahoo.com

2009 NCAA TOURNEY ACTION - PLAY IN GAME

Just like Tila compared to real actresses, just because Alabama St. & Morehead St. are not one of top dogs doesn't mean they still can't provide a lil excitement!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 90-73 ats…55%
NBA 61-54 - NCAA 22-15 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

Can Josh "Magic Mushroom" Heytvelt shock the Heels & Mr. Hansbrough...check back at midnight for the answer!

I know everybody is waiting for my Big Dance Breakdown & Sweet Sixteen Sleepers, but have a no fear Homeboys, I'll have my magical picks posted for you at midnight. And considering I already gave you the play-in-game winner paired with a spectacular bikini yesterday, stop with the evil emails & toilet paper decorating my mansion…I’m trying to win a couple brackets myself!

Don't worry, I'll serve you my NCAA goodies soon...

Until then, watch Gerald Wallace do some sick things against the Kings, off a back-2-back, & starting Nocioni at SF!

SUCKTOWN KINGS @ CHARLOTTE BOBCATS (-11)
As proved in their 26-point throttling of the Raptors Monday, Grandpa Larry has turned the Cats O Bob into believers as they sit just a game & a half out of the playoffs. With a reshaped roster combining young exciting talent with veteran execution, Charlotte has shown the ability to beat-up on the bottom-feeders…especially ones off a back-to-back, in the middle of a road trip, and sporting a 4-30 road record this season.

Bobcat colors at the beach? This has to be a sign!

Speaking of the Kings, they lost by 22 in Hotlanta last night and seem to have completely given-up on the season. Making matters worse, their match-ups with Cats could turn this into a blow-out by the 2nd quarter. In the frontcourt, Boris Diaw’s crazy PF-handles and Okafor’s strength will embarrass the Kings slight & unproven rookie Jason Thompson & 20 year-old Spencer Hawes. At the point, the slow-footed & fresh off a foot-injury Beno Udrih will have the luxury of chasing Raymond Felton & DJ Augustin. At SF, Noce’s banged-up body will unsuccessfully try to slow do-everything F Gerald Wallace. And finally, while Kevin Martin can score, his chronically bad ankle shouldn’t be too happy about a back-to-back against the 2009-version of Bruce Bowen…Raja MFin Bell. All in all, this is gonna be uglier than Tara Reid in bikini after her 7th trip to the plastic surgeon…BOBCATS BY 16-22 POINTS

JR Smith has been deadly from downtown of late!

DENVER NUGGETS (-6.5) @ MEMPHIS GRIZZ
With the logjam of teams separated by just a couple games between the 2nd and 8th seed, the Nuggets have stepped-up their game of late (3-game win streak) with the hopes of finding home-court in the first round and a second round match-up that doesn’t include Kobe. Especially with all the negative-pub Carmelo’s been receiving of late, watch as the superstar follows Chauncey’s advice and starts dominate every aspect of the game in leading Denver up in the standings.

She has the passionate look Melo's had lately!

On the Grizz side, besides the occasional inspired team play on the same night an opponent is overlooking them, Memphis seems to be counting down the days till summer vacation. Especially once they start trailing in a game, the youngsters simply take turns going one-on-one against the opponents. And tonight, with Denver on a three-game home win-streak where they’ve won by an average of 17 ppg, look for Coach Karl to stress how the doubters don’t believe Denver can win on the road to have his squad psyched from the get-go…NUGGETS BY 12-16 POINTS

This kid is already scary good Homeboys!

CHICAGO BULLS @ OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER (-1.5)
If you checked me out yesterday, I took the Bulls and made some bank. But tonight...TOUCH ME HERE FOR THE LUV

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 91-75 ats…55%
NBA 62-56 - NCAA 22-15 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

After winning on LSU and then getting a car wash...

...TIME FOR MY 4:00 TOURNEY UPDATE HOMEBOYS!

...I just can't see how this Illini team handles a late night tip in Portland without their fearless floor general!

W. KENTUCKY HILLTOPPERS (+5) vs FIGHTING ILLINI
For all the talk the Hilltoppers are not the darling they were last year with a new coach and without Courtney Lee, the kids from Kentucky have won seven-straight, 11 of their last 12, and sport a brilliant young headmaster with an exciting, yet disciplined style. Especially with the Illini's best backcourt defender & playmaker out, look for WKU's veteran backcourt to control the tempo (A.J. Slaughter: 16 ppg, 4 apg, 3 rpg - Orlando Mendez-Valdez: 14 ppg, 4 apg, 4 rpg, 41-3pt), while getting in the paint, dishing to their aggressive undersized forwards, and getting the Illinois bigs in foul trouble. Throw-in that Bruce Weber's squad has lost three of their last four and...
THE HILLTOPPERS BY 2-6 PTS

Hello, my name is Marcus Thornton and I'm going to make you remember me this weekend!

#9 BUTLER BULLDOGS @ #8 LSU TIGERS (-2)
Don't fall for it Homeboys...Vegas is pushing Butler like they're the new Gonzaga. And I can't remember the last time the Mushroom Lovers (aka The Zags) sported a somewhat new coach, four out of their top five scores as underclassmen (2 frosh & 2 soph), and only one impressive win all season...Xavier on the road.

You know why she's happy? With LSU's length & athleticism she can't believe Vegas only favors them by a bucket!

On the Tigers side, besides the fact you don't have to worry about a pre-game speech from Les Miles, they're freakishly athletic, long, have plenty of experience, and sported a 10-game win-streak in SEC play this season. I could go through match-ups but I need a splash of Tequila in my Shiraz...LSU WINS BY 6-12 POINTS

As for my only afternoon upset...

You can see it in her eyes...she wants to luv the Longhorns, but knows the Gophers are too deep to handle!

#10 MINNY TUBBY SMITHS (+4.5) @ #7 TEXAS SHORT BENCH
The Gophers crew is a legit 10 deep and their brilliant headmaster is looking more relaxed than ever not dealing with the pressure of Ashley Judd & the KU alumni. As for Texas, they're just not that good and only roll if A.J. Abrams catches fire...and considering Tubby has a plethora of bodies to throw at him, I'm guessing at least one of those cats can stop a shorty that can't dribble from knocking down a few three-pointers. At least that's what I think...GOPHERS WIN OUTRIGHT

While having a tat about a guy from 90210 might not be the coolest thing when your the hottest girl on the planet...

...I still luv Mark Few and will always support David Silver! As for later tonight, I love Asians and GONZAGA (-13) to roll with ease in Portland. I think they're playing Bowling Green...oh wait, Akron maybe..it doesn't matter, just bring on the Tar Heels!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 93-75 ats…56%
NBA 62-56 - NCAA 24-15 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

GREGGY G'S 4:00 UPDATE...BOSTON COLLEGE +2.5
GREGGY G'S 4:00 UPDATE...BOSTON COLLEGE +2.5

Since I dominated the ATS-docket yesterday, but lost my upset pick, today I'm giving my upset pick w/ some ATS luv!

Cause rolling with the beastly red-head Gary Wilkinson is smarter than Hula Hooping in a cowboy hat and thong!

So far, the man they call Greggy G, The Unibrow Wonder, Wicked from Behind the Arc, Crooked Polish Thunder Stick, and The Tequila in the Sangria-Homeboy has opened the ATS NCAA Tourney Season 3-0 ATS (Morehead St., LSU, W. Kentucky< & pushed the Zags). As a result, I figured I'd continue my hardwood dominance like Billy Bob treated Halle in Monster's Ball...so here you go you crazy MFers!

Don't be fooled by his crazed-uncle look, he's the shiznit!

#6 MARQUETTE WARRIORS vs #11 UTAH ST. AGGIES (+5)
Just like it's more unfair for the dude when your at Fantastic Sam's and forced to pick between him and the blonde-Asian hairdresser, for some reason the Selection Committee decided the injured 6th seed has to play in Boise against 30-4 Utah St. Seriously, the Aggies are the most underrated double-digit seed of all time!

Just like Erin, I expect the new Marquette coach to be stressed and making this mannerism early in the 2nd half!

And trust me, while the Aggies are really white, they're more athletic than people think, have a brilliant old-school dude coach named Stew, and a banger down low (Wilkinson- 17 ppg, 7 rpg) that Marquette has no answer for. Did I mention the new bald headmaster for the Eagles isn't ready for this thing? UTAH ST. WINS OUTRIGHT

As for my evening NCAA picks, check back in after 3:30. Considering I don't like too much this afternoon, unlike a shitty salesman I decided not to waste your time & money and just give you my Professional Hardwood picks for tonight before re-evaluating the college docket.

...and, I forgot I need to get my truck washed!

Not only is Boris "Pharrell" Diaw an award-winning musician, he's a playmaking point forward w/ playoff experience!

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS (+1) @ TORONTO RAPTORS
Before the year, I would've given Tara Reid a better shot at starring with Sean Penn in a movie than yours truly investing on the Cats on the road and getting less than a bucket. But while Tara is in rehab regretting all the booze & plastic, AARP Larry Brown has Charlotte just a couple wins out of a playoff spot.

The Raptors are simply waiting to get out of Canada & hit-up their summer vacation at the beach!

As for the Raptors, as their post-season push has crashed like an NFLer with a pedestrian in the crosswalk (bye-bye Donte Stallworth), they've been playing for their interim coach like he has a "Shine Box" and don't seem to care that their GM suddenly looks like a fool. And just this week, the suddenly passionate & disciplined Cats rolled the sorry Boshinators by 26. While I know Gerald Wallace is banged-up, I hear he's playing...and I hear Jose Calderon still has to chase Felton & Augustin all over the floor tonight...CHARLOTTE BY 6-12 POINTS

Mirror, mirror on the wall, if I tell my fans I have more picks and pics will they TOUCH ME HERE to read more?

SUCKTOWN KINGS @ NEW YORK KNICKS (-10)
Still clinging to their playoff hopes like a rookie pole dancer...
The hottest pic of the day is coming up next Homeboys

My Homeboy Jay has his early Tourney scare out of the way!

As a result, expect the Cats aggressive D to be smothering the Bruins from the onset like Erin's smothering this door!

UCLA BRUINS @ VILLANOVA CATS (-2.5)
Especially after the scare against American, I expect to see Nova come out with some aggression & passion from the opening tip (Btw, I heard the Mavericks Josh Howard was recruited by American and he said "I hate America"...then he smoked a doobie and went drag racing) . On UCLA's side, is it me, or do they look really tired from having such a short and undersized rotation all year? I don't think it's just me, and I don't see how they handle the athleticism, strength, and ability to get into the paint of Jay Wright's squad...NOVA BY 6-12 POINTS

While those aren't exactly Wildcat colors, it's much closer than UCLA yellow & blue...have a great weekend Homeboys!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 96-77 ats…56%
NBA 63-57 - NCAA 26-16 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

If you haven't seen much of DeMarre, he's a MFin beast w/ a soft touch. And paired w/ the 6-9 250 lb Leo Lyons...

...just like our friend here, Marquette should struggle to cover those two bigs!

MARQUETTE GOLDEN EAGLES vs MISSOURI TIGERS (-3)
With the Tigers up-tempo flair, long athletic wings, and deep bench, Marquette desperately needs to keep this a half-court game today. And unfortunately for bald Buzz & the Golden Eagles, Mizzu is playing as efficient as anybody in the country as the veteran squad has learned how to impose their style of play more and more as the season has progressed. Especially against the undersized frontcourt and short bench for Marquette, look for the Tigers to spread the floor and rotate in their half-dozen snipers as their bigs attack the basket on the fly!

For all the talk the poor shooting James is gonna be a difference maker, all he's doing is giving us a better line!

While the Warriors have couple nice wing scorers, I just don't see how they stop the most underrated senior frountcourt in the dance, 6-8 DeMarre Carroll (17 ppg, 7 rpg, 56-fg%, 40-pt%) & 6-9 Leo Lyons (15 ppg, 6 rpg, 51-fg%). As for Dominic James's amazing return, I've always thought he was a lil overrated...and that was before a foot injury and some rust. Throw-in the foul trouble I'm expecting for the Golden Eagles tiny frontcourt, and just like my Nova call yesterday, I'm guessing the Tigers control this contest from start to finish...MIZZ BY DOUBLE DIGETS!

Enjoy the Sunday Funday Homeboys...

...time to sit back, relax, and watch another Greggy G cover!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 97-77 ats…56%
NBA 63-57 - NCAA 27-16 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

While Blake Griffin is an absolute beast, I hate to say it, but Syracuse's Zone D and plethora of bigs could cause his exit!

...but don't worry Blake, just like Aleida Nunez, you'll have plenty more brilliant nights at the next level!

With an undefeated weekend on the NCAA ATS-docket (Saturday luv and Sunday luv), I was a more depressed than Heather Locklear looking back on her love life with the Big Dance action on break. While the eight other loser tournaments have a couple games tonight, I don’t trust my research when I don’t know how depressed these kids got watching the real tourney action from their sofa all weekend. As a result, I’m only hitting up a couple gems in the Association, but first, let me give you a few quick thoughts on what I’ve seen thus far.

I believe Coach Pitino needs to convince his ballers to take more twos than threes if he wants to keep advancing!

Btw, I luv the white, but what about this for Cardinal colors?

I’M NOT IN LUV WITH L’VILLE BUT THEIR BRACKET’S A BREEZE
For all the hype and so-called gurus calling the Cardinals the favorite, I’ve just seen too many games this season where they’ve struggled to shoot from deep...and keep shooting. While their defensive pressure is Ali Larter in a Whip Cream Bikini-awesome and they can run-n-gun with anybody, if they didn’t have such a cakewalk to the Final Four, I definitely believe someone would’ve bounced them before getting to Detroit...but now, I can't see how they don't!

While I can't stand another night of this cat on the tube...

...I don't think the sun will set on the Orange just yet!

WHILE HE’S BEEN AWESOME…HE'S STILL A PUNK
I was actually praying to see Syracuse lose in the first round of the Big East tourney with the outside chance it would put an end to Eric Devendork’s career. But props to the annoying kid as he’s been awesome and helped to make the Orange as dangerous as anybody left. Led by future NBA starting PG Jonny Flynn, two workhorses with great hoops IQs (Paul Harris & Andy Rautins), and a bunch of long frontcourt bangers that perfectly fit into Boeheim’s 2-3 zone, I have a feeling I’ll be seeing Devendork glaring like a gangster past Friday cause they’re beating Blake Griffin and the Sooners.

Just like my girl Alizee...I'm all about the tease!

While I have plenty more thoughts on the tourney action Homeboys, I'm pulling a Tila Tequila Tease and making you check back all week to see what other crazy shiznit I can get brewing

Just like Brad Miller, John Salmons has brought a veteran presence that was desperately needed in Chi-Town!

CHICAGO BULLS (-6) @ WASHINGTON BULLETS
Holy what-Najah-Davenport-did-in-a-chick's-closet!...the Bulls are actually playing with some consistency and not complaining about their headmaster to the media. While just a month ago Vinny Del Scott Baio’s squad would beat an elite team only to get blown-out the next night by a bottom-feeder, Chicago had won three straight (New Orleans, Boston, and at Oklahoma City) and were beating the LakeShow late in the 4th Saturday before Kobe & Co. caught fire. And with the playoff race in its final stages, I actually expect them to raise their play as the chemistry from trade deadline acquisitions continues to improve.

A look of desperation can sometimes be a good thing when it involves a playoff race...or our friend here!

The biggest reason for their recent success has been the steady play & professionalism of three veterans. In the backcourt, Capt Kirk’s return from some mid-season injuries has provided Coach Baio some flexibility by spelling D-Rose or lil Ben when their D becomes lackadaisical. On the wing, after a few weeks to get comfortable, John Salmons has become an elite scorer, while providing better defense and a more aggressive style than Luol “soft-azz Deng. And in the frontcourt, Brad Miller has been a wonderful influence on T-Time & Noah, while also spacing the floor & playing some pick-n-pop with the NBA’s rookie of the year. Throw-in the positive vibe the newcomers have brought to the table simply from their departure from the Sucktown Kings, and the Bulls could scare some of the elite teams in the East come playoff time!

Antawn has a lot of miles on those legs and I'm guessing carrying the Wiz all season hasn't been the best medicine!

As for the Bullets, like Pamela on a boat with a rockstar, the really f*cking blow! Especially with the grind of the season starting to take its toll, teams out of contention and not sporting many energetic youngsters can find themselves just going through the motions to close out the year…(i.e. the Pamela on boat Wiz). In addition, Washington is returning from a four games in five nights out West, and as I’ve told you before, the first home game after a long trip is usually a disaster as the players are tired and forced to deal with wives, kids, groupies, & stacks of bills. Throw-in that Caron Butler (quest.) hasn’t played in their last five and Mr. Jamison can’t be too fresh after trying to carry the squad and playing almost 40 min. a night, and I’m expecting the Bulls to jump out early tonight!

After a long road-trip, I have a feeling the lowly-Wiz have no interest in getting off their couch to play the Bullies!

And finally, looking at a couple match-ups, the lighting fast and recently hot D-Rose will be facing the defensively-challenged 33 year-old Mike James (38-fg%) & back-up Javaris Crittenton, while on-fire John Salmons (last 4 games: 28 ppg 57-3pt%) will be shadowed by a PF playing SF in Dominic McGuire or a rusty Mr. Butler. The injury bug is so bad for interim coach Ed Tapscott, in their 32-point loss to Phoenix Saturday he was forced to start two centers (Songalia & Blatche), two PFs (Jamison & McGuire), and the journeyman James at the point. Throw-in that this exhausted crew will be playing in-front of only seven fans tonight, and I can’t see how the playoff hopeful Bulls don’t destroy the Wiz…BULLS BY 14-20 POINTS

GREG GAMBLE’S NBA TEASER SPECTACULAR

Who doesn't luv a Teaser...TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 97-78 ats…56%
NBA 63-58 - NCAA 27-16 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

While I luv the undersized PF, just cause he threw around the most overrated big doesn't mean he's unstoppable!

...and like our friend, while Blair's smile and derriere can provide some happiness, don't be a sucker Homeboys!

XAVIER MATCHES-UP WELL WITH PITT’S SUPERSTARS
Of all the teams left in the tourney, the Musketeers have the potential to keep DeJuan Blair & Sam Young somewhat in-check. And after that, I actually believe Sean Miller’s squad has more depth and scoring options. The 6-7 265 lb DeJuan Blair (16 ppg, 12 rpg, 60-fg%) has been a monster all season when not in foul trouble, but on Thursday, he’ll be banging with the lunch-pale trio of 6-9 255 lb Jason Love (7 ppg, 6 rpg, 54-fg%), 7-0 265 lb Kenny Frease (last 4 gms: 15 mpg, 5 ppg, 4 rpg), and 6-8 240 lb Jamel McLean (last 3 games: 18 mpg, 5 ppg, 6 rpg), enabling 6-8 Sr. F Derrick Brown (14 ppg, 6 rpg, 51-fg%, 44-3pt%) to stay out of foul trouble & concentrate on offense.

I know Pitt's Sam Young can score a variety of ways, but he's not the snipper or defender that B.J. Raymond is!

...and just like our friend, just cause you don't know what Mr. Raymond looks like, doesn't mean his game isn't flawless!

As for the most underrated wing in country Sam Young (19 ppg, 6 rpg, 50-fg%, 37-3pt%), the 6-6 Sr. will probably receive a heavy dose of 6-6 Sr. stopper B.J. Raymond (14 ppg, 4 ppg, 42-3pt%) and 6-6 Sr. workhorse C.J. Anderson (10 ppg, 5 rpg)…not to mention, Young will be working his azz off on the other end. After that, Pitt’s only other legitimate scorer is the overrated 5-10 point Levance Fields (11 ppg, 8 apg…but only 40-fg% & 34-3pt%), and he’ll be dealing w/ the length of 6-5 So. Dante Jackson & the speed of 6-0 Fr. Terrell Holloway.

As for a sign from the Gambling Gods, I know that's not a Panther and I do believe a Musketeer rides a horse!

Overall, while Young & Blair will definitely be the best ballers on the hardwood Thursday, I think they both need to be flawless for the Panthers to pull off a victory. For Blair, he’s shown a propensity to get in foul trouble so I fully expect the Coach Miller and his diverse frontcourt options to attack the fat-cat all night. As for Young, while his development at Pitt is an awesome story, in all honesty, I’d rather have the combo of Raymond & Anderson if my ATS dollars were on the line. And because of this, I’m rolling with Xavier in Sweet Sixteen and I’m not just talking spread here Homeboys...I'm talking straight up victory!

TOUCH ME HERE IF YOU MISSED MY TOURNEY INFO MONDAY

His name is MFin LaceDarius...how do bet against that?!

BAYLOR BEARS (+3.5) @ AUBURN TIGERS
Before we get into the players, let’s take a look at the numbers:
(22-14) Baylor - RPI: 47, Strength of Schedule: 13
(24-11) Auburn - RPI: 53, Strength of Schedule: 62
While some would say the home-court advantage for the Tigers makes the RPI null in void, in addition to the lopsided SOS difference, the Bears were 6-2 against teams with a RPI ranking between 51-100 while the Tigers were only 4-5. Sorry if that info confused you more than Paris Hilton at a Museum, but trust me, the numbers prove the Bears are just a better team. Throw-in that the majority of Baylor’s losses came during a horrific mid-season stretch (2-10 before finishing on a 5-1 run) where their confidence was lower than Jennifer Aniston after another botched boyfriend, and I actually believe their RPI doesn’t give them the justice they deserve.

While I usually luv the Home Whites, I'm rollin' with yellow & green tonight fellas!

See, I told these colors look sweet (and trust me, you can't see it, but she's wearing green socks)

As for the specific match-ups, in all honesty these teams are perfect matches for each other as both teams usually sport a line-up with four guards and a PF on the floor. But the biggest difference, just about every player for the Bears is slightly better and shoots a higher percentage. Listed below are the top four scorers for each squad and their probably match-ups when not in a zone:

Baylor: 6-1 Sr Curtis Jerrells 16 ppg, 5 apg, 5 rpg, 43-fg% 38-3pt%
Auburn: 6-1 Jr DeWayne Reed 13 ppg, 4 apg, 3 rpg, 38-fg% 33-3pt%

Baylor: 6-4 So LaceDarius Dunn 15 ppg, 5 rpg, 44-fg%, 37-3pt%
Auburn: 6-5 Sr Rasheem Barrett 10 ppg, 4 rpg, 43-fg%, 31-3pt%

Baylor: 5-11 Jr Tweety Carter 11 ppg, 3 apg, 42-fg%, 39-3pt%
Auburn: 6-2 Jr Tay Waller 12 ppg, 3 rpg, 40-fg%, 31-3pt%

Baylor: 6-9 250 lbs. Sr Kevin Rodgers 13 ppg, 8 rpg, 55 fg%
Auburn: 6-7 225 lbs. Sr Korvotney Barber 13 ppg, 10 rpg, 55 fg%

Just like Roselyn, I like the Bears focused look of late!

Throw-in the Bears other Sr. guard averaging double-digits off the bench (Henry Dugat), a 7-foot Jr. that has recently emerged as a legit contributor (Josh Lomers), and the fact that Auburn played in the biggest conference disappointment of the year (SEC), and I expect the Baylor to roll into Alabama and control this game from start to finish!
BEARS BY 6-12 POINTS

The Jazz always get a few shots on Yao when they're playing in Salt Lake City...TOUCH ME HERE FOR MORE INFO!

HOUSTON ROCKETS @ UTAH JAZZ (-5)
TOUCH ME HERE FOR MORE HOTTIES & NBA CHATTER

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 99-78 ats…56%
NBA 64-58 - NCAA 28-16 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

Anyone else feel Raymar is simply overdue for a breakout?!

...kinda of like his crazy illness, I heard she also had the flu a month before this shoot and check out how she did!

Welcome to the third installment of Greggy G's Sweet Sixteen predictions. If you missed my Xavier/Pittsburg breakdown yesterday, Touch Me Here. If you missed by Syracuse & Louisville analysis Monday, Touch Me Here. If you didn't, buy yourself a cold Labatt Max Ice, some Wasabi Funyuns, and bill it to my hotel room!

MICHIGAN ST. SPARTANS (-1.5) VS KANSAS JAYHAWKS

I'M ROLLIN W/ THE BETTER IN-GAME COACH W/ MORE VETS
While some prefer hitting the Gentlemen’s Club sporting $12 Red Bulls, 19 year-old twins resembling Mary-Kate & Ashley, and an owner knowing tomorrow has a weekend crowd (aka The Jayhawks), I’m rolling to the Pole Club with a keg in the basement, Cougars that are tenured, and an owner thinking this might be the last night before the County shuts him down (aka The Spartans)!

While Sherron has gotten to the hole at will...

...the Spartan D protects that area better than this outfit!

While Bill Self has more young talent than a HotLanta Night Club after an NBA contest, Tom Izzo has some tough minded-vets overdue for some Final Four dancing. In my humble opinion, nobody has a more disciplined combination of offensive and defensive schemes than MSU. With 6-10 Sr. Goran Sutton (10 ppg, 8 rpg, 52-fg%, 86-ft%, 40-3pt%) anchoring the middle, a backcourt rolling a legit four deep with three long-ball threats, and a breakout game on the horizon for Jr. banger Raymar Morgan, I just don’t see how a team with two scores (Sharron Collins & Cole Aldridge), a bunch of role-players, and a bevy of freshmen can pull out a victory. Especially with the youngsters dealing with all the Sweet Sixteen media drama this week, I’m rolling with the Izzinator to win by more than a bucket (-1.5).

Now, with that simple shiznit out of the way, time for some NBA ATS!
Cause after yesterday's undefeated picks, I'm feeling MFin special!

After a shitty performance in his last game, I'm guessin he's pumped after UNC rolled & hearing Mike James is playin D!

Kinda like lovin' graffiti & hearin' she's monitoring the wall!

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS (-4.5) @ WASHINGTON WIZARDS
Coach AARP Brown had his squad playing like an efficient playoff contender before snapping a three-game win-streak in awful home-loss to the Pacers. In their defense, they were a little banged-up and playing a back-to-back after returning from Canada. Considering they still only sit 1.5 games out of the final spot and been off since Saturday, I expect to see the new-n-improved Cats ready to regain their post All-Star Break mojo and put on an impressive show in D.C.

Her arms & bikini bottom play better D than the Wiz!

As for the worst & most undermanned team in the Association, the Wiz played impressively for two quarters against the Bulls at home Monday before losing by 2. While some would look at that as a team rallying around each other, no matter how talented the Bulls look on paper, Vinny Del Scott Baio is an awful coach and his squad usually provides a mental-lapse debacle on the road at least five times a month. And especially after the Wiz just completely a long-azz West Coast trip, I have a feeling the after effects will be more apparent as they struggle to find the same type of energy…CATS O BOB BY 8-14 PTS

Just like Zach returning to Madison Square...

...nuttin' wrong with coming home and finding some baby fat!

LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS (+7.5) @ NEW YORK KNICKS
want more nba picks or HOTTIES...TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 100-79 ats…56%
NBA 65-59 - NCAA 28-16 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

The ole man is dealing w/ health issues, a state hating on his contract, & now some NCAA investigation...can his team really be focused enough to stop the kids from W. Lafayette?

Considering I was already leaning towards all the underdogs today, with most the Eastern Seaboard Programming Network gurus loving chalk more than a three year old on the driveway, my sway quickly turned into more confidence than A-Roid trying to score with a call girl. That's right Homeboys, my ATS allegiance is taking the points in every MFin contest...so feel free to tell a friend!

Like my girl Lisa, I'm no longer leaning...I'm standing straight!

PURDUE BOILERMAKERS (+7) vs UCONN CHEATERS
Speaking of leaning and straightening up like my flag pole at Asian Massage Parlor with no windows, I already felt Purdue's unique style could cause some problems for the Huskies...and that was before news broke of Calhoun's squad spending the last two days dodging questions about NCAA allegations! PURDUE IN AN UPSET

Just like Xavier's bad-azz roster, just because you don't know who she is doesn't mean she's not stacked!

XAVER MUSKETEERS (+7) vs. PITTSBURGH PATHERS
Just like I told you Tuesday (Touch Me Here), Coach Miller has the bodies to keep Mr. Blair in check, two wings to slow Sam Young, & enough guards to handle the overrated Levance Fields. As a result, I'm expecting this to go down to the wire and end with a Musketeer upset!

The Devils don't have the frontcourt to stop Mr. Cunningham!

VILLANOVA CATS (+2) @ DUKE BLUE DEVILS
I just don't think the Dukies have the athletes to keep up with all of Nova's aggressive ballers...and this is coming from a white dude. And with no disrespect to Coach K, but my Homeboy Jay Wright will be taking is top-dog torch tonight! NOVA BY A COUPLE

Just like TT, Mizzu can spread the floor w/ the best of them!

MISSOURI TIGERS (+5.5) @ MEMPHIS TIGERS
The most underrated frontcourt duo in the land will cause some problems for the Conf USA squad missing two many pieces from last year. And as I told you in my ATS victory on Sunday Funday, this squad has a too many veteran pieces, a brilliant style, and a deep bench to be taken too lightly! TIGERS IN A BUZZER-BEATER

Unlike my detailed breakdown of why the Spartans will roll KU Friday, these picks are too simple to waste much energy! As for my NBA TNT ATS selection...

...Get out the tub Homeboys...

...so I can give you the skinny on the Association tonight!

LOS ANGELES LAKERS (-7) @ DETROIT PISTONS
Like Ronny Mexico, Kobe luvs to kick on dog when it's down!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 104-80 ats…56%
NBA 66-59 - NCAA 31-17 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0
BTW, if you missed my 4-1 ATS venture Thursday, Touch Me Here

Goran's not pointing at Greggy G because he went 4-1 ATS last night...he's pointing at me cause he's happy...

... I luv Spartan green tonight Homeboys!

MICHIGAN SPARTANS (-1.5) VS KANSAS JAYHAWKS
TOUCH ME HERE TO FIND OUT WHY & TO SEE MORE CHICKS

Just like Bonnie, I'm layin out the ATS luv for a team I hate!

SYRACUSE DEVENDORKS (+2) VS OKLAHOMA SOONERS
I haven't swayed on my Cus pick or my hatred for the Devendork kid since I told ya Monday (just scroll past Patino in his kick-azz suit)...sorry, what else you want you greedy lil BEEATCHES!?

While I want pick the Zags, I may do it, but it's not counting on my tally. Instead, I'm giving a pick of Homeboy Trevor's fav girl:

TOUCH ME HERE TO HEAR ABOUT GREGGY'S SPARTAN LUV

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 105-81 ats…56%
NBA 66-59 - NCAA 32-18 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

I'm riding Nova, Scottie, & Coach Jay Clooney like...

...my Homegirl Giorgia rides the waves!

VILLANOVA WILDCATS (+2) vs PITTSBURGH PANTHERS
Sorry for the short posts Homeboys, but I've been on vacation with all my winnings from the first few rounds. Check back at 5:00 today for all my NBA Action tonight. As for my Nova pick, I just don't think the Panthers have the guards to handle the mass waves of ballers Coach Clooney can throw onto the hardwood. And while Mr. Blair is a beast and carried Pitt ova Xavier, I have a feeling the minutes and pounding may start to take its toll against the aggressive Cats and Dante Cunningham. Throw-in that I'll continue to claim Levance Fields is overrated (even as he continues to prove me wrong) and will be out dueled by Scottie Reynolds tonight, and I expecting the Cats to control this contest from the opening tip...NOVA BY 5-10 POINTS

NBA TEASER SPECTACULAR

Just like my girl Tila...who doen't luv a Teaser!

PHOENIX SUNS @ UTAH JAZZ (teased -5)
The Suns are tired, everyone outside of Sloan's boys hate playing in Salt Lake City, and the Jazz have some payback after getting beat in Phoenix this week...what else you need? UTAH BY 8-14 PTS

Just like Tori's, the Cats uni's will look solid at home!

NEW YORK KNICKS @ CHARLOTTE BOBCATS (teased -2.5)
With an impressive Bobcats road win, AARP Larry Brown has the squad still believing they can sneak into the playoffs. On the Knickerbocker side, after an awesome victory against CP3 in front of the Gotham crowd last night, I expect D'Antoni's boys to be a little less enthused tonight...CATS O BOB BY 8-14 PTS

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 106-81 ats…56%
NBA 66-59 - NCAA 33-18 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

While my ATS tourney picks have performed better than my favorite musician, I might just be an observer today.

Unlike those shaddy handicappers that give half their clients Michigan St. and the other half Louisville, I only give you my luv when I'm feeling nasty. And today, while a kinda like UNC and kinda hope the Spartans can keep it close, I'm just not feeeling the magic today on the college hardwood. But don't worry, I have some professional action to keep you satisfied.

The Hotlanta Homeboys don't have a chance against these two!

LOS ANGELES LAKERS (-3.5) @ ATLANTA HAWKS
The Zenmaster and Mr. Bryant know the Ring Holders may be the squad with home-court throughout the post-season...and that means they treat the Hawks impressive, but short roster like a first round playoff opponent...LAKESHOW BY 7-13 PTS

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 106-81 ats…56%
NBA 66-59 - NCAA 33-18 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

While my ATS tourney picks have performed better than my favorite musician, I might just be an observer today.

Unlike those shaddy handicappers that give half their clients Michigan St. & the other half L'ville, I only give you my luv when I'm feeling nasty. And today, while a kinda like UNC & kinda hope the Spartans can keep it close, I'm just not feeeling the magic today on the college hardwood. But don't worry, I have some professional action to keep you satisfied.

The Hotlanta Kids don't have a chance against these two!

LOS ANGELES LAKERS (-3.5) @ ATLANTA HAWKS
The Zenmaster and Mr. Bryant know the Ring Holders may be the squad with home-court throughout the post-season...and that means they treat the Hawks impressive, but short roster like a first round playoff opponent...LAKESHOW BY 7-13 PTS

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 106-82 ats…56%
NBA 66-60 - NCAA 33-18 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

At least during his weekends of bloody wildness, he has the right material to clean up the mess!

Seriously Vinnny, you are the ShamWow guy and hanging in Miami...hit the beach I grab a hottie you fool!

While the weekend provided me with more collegiate happiness than a back-up punter with sorority girls checking out the trophies in his room, the Nova & Spartan victories do not even come close to the highlight of the weekend. When The Smoking Gun released mug-shot photos of ShamWow Vinny & the hooker he beat-up for the vice-grip bite she put on his million dollar tongue, how does anybody get excited over some roundball action? And just like I’ve said in the past, why the hell do professional athletes & cult-figure icons need to pay for a relaxation therapist when there are hundreds of chicks willing to spread eagle for free for their famous asses. Bye-Bye Vinny, nice knowing ya…and nice job pissing away the crazy fortunes that were in your future!

I luv you Izzo, but please stop toying w/ the Zona thing...

...you're playing the media & MSU like a piano!

It is too bad Tommy Izzo is using the Arizona rumor to claim he’s underappreciated in East Lansing and allowing even the slightest bit of drama for his kids...which will probably result in an extension and more money for the little headmaster at MSU. Don’t get me wrong, he’s an awesome coach, I love their hardnosed style of play, and I appreciate he recruits kids that usually stick around, but this is the wrong time for this shiznit to be surfacing. While he may not have been able to prevent the leak of the Wildcat interest, he could have snuffed it out quickly instead of teasing the media with open-ended responses. If he wants more money or he truly wants to finish his career at Zona, that’s fine. But why not just say “This is not the time” and enable your kids to enjoy this once in a lifetime experience without these unnecessary headaches.

With that, let's hit my NBA ATS Play O The Day!

The Magic are flying high heading into the post-season!

And with another win tonight, Orlando becomes a little closer to looking down on the Celtics in the standings!

ORLANDO MAGIC (-2.5) @ MIAMI HEAT
With the Magic currently just a ½ game behind Boston for the #2 seed, Ron Jeremy’s brother Stan has been emphasizing the importance of having home-court against the defending champs in Round Two. And the Magic have responded winning 12 of their last 14 and playing some of their best basketball of the season. On the flipside, GM LA Looks and his puppet Erik Spoelstra seem more concerned with entering the post-season with a healthy Dwayne Wade & Jermaine O’Neal and are sporting a .500 record over their last 12 games.

I have a feeling the Heat froncourt will be sweating now that Mr. Howard is in town!

As for tonight...TOUCH ME HERE FOR MORE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 107-82 ats…56%
NBA 67-60 - NCAA 33-18 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

While everybody talks about Lawson, Hansborough, Green, & Ellington, what makes UNC unbeatable is Thompson & Davis!

And just like our friend here...

...their action down-low is simply Naughty!

While I wanted to highlight the soon-to-be Tourney Champion Tar Heels and my flawless/winning bracket in this post, I can't stop thinking about Vinny from ShamWow. Just like the first time I saw Jassie in the cinematic thriller Stocking Stuffers, I fall asleep counting creepy ShamWowers jumping over a fence. What's even more amazing is how fricking old Vince Shlomi is (44) & looks compared to his on-screen wizardry. But enough about a guy looking like an Ass. Manager at Toys R Us & time to tell you why the Heels will win this thing easily.

While Jay Wright looks almost as sweet as Keeley in black...

...his pimpness can't lead the undersized squad to a victory!

As mentioned, while Ty, Tyler, and there flashy wings (Danny & Wayne) get all the pub, 6-8 245 lb Deon Thompson (11 ppg, 6 rpg) & 6-10 Ed Davis (19 mpg, 7 pgg, 7 rpg, 2 bpg) provide the additional muscle and inside scoring down-low to make every possesson a nightmare for opponents. Both would be go-to scorers on 95% of the teams in the country and both will be playing in the NBA in the near future. While Nova has simply imposed their will and played lights-out D their last five halves of hoops, they just don't have the length or froncourt depth to stop my NCAA Tourney Bracket Champions. So get in on the Tar Heels moneyline Homeboys cause it ain't getting lower with yours truly pumping their luv like T.T. Boy at a Van Nuys Pool Party!

GREGGY G'S NBA ATS SPECTACULAR

The lethal three are relaxed and ready to roll!

...plus, Manu's legs are fresher than my fav IDOL star...

...which means the Spurs cover up easier than Misa Campo!

OKLAHOMA CITY SONICS @ SAN ANTONIO SPURS (-11.5)
TOUCH ME HERE FOR MY NBA ATS LOCK O THE DAY!!!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 107-83 ats…56%
NBA 67-61 - NCAA 33-18 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0

I know it sounds crazy coming from this White Sox fan, but I want Sheff's aging bat on the Southside lineup this summer!

While Gary isn't the impressive youngster he once was like Gracie here, I still think he has something left in the tank!

I know you've heard me complain about the base-clogging, HR or nothing vets for the Sox, but hear me out...this makes perfect sense. With lefty Jim Thome currently holding down the DH spot, you know he'll be missing at least 40 games this year because of his chronically bad-back...which means Sheffield can lighten his load and provide Ozzie with a bat from the other side of the plate. Throw-in that LF Carlos Quentin is coming of a hand-injury and RF Jermaine Dye is overdue for a major DL-stint, and signing the crazy-cat could be exactly what GM Kenny Williams needs. And forget about his lousy season last year, his shoulder is better and he'll have a chip on it after getting released by the Tigers...so make it happen Southsiders!

As for all drama regarding a young Laker and some ladies at the Playboy Mansion, give the kid a break...

...he's just did what every other invitee would do!

The last two years the poor guy has finally started to play like a franchise cornerstone only to have a freakish knee injury each time ...and fat-azz scribes are hating cause their relaxtion therapists look a lil bit different than his Bunnies? And trust me LakeShow fans, when he does come back (and he'll come back soon), he'll have a nasty lil swagger because of all the criticism!

As for Mr. Calipari, luv him or hate him, KU's lunatic hardwood boosters are getting exactly what they want,..

...just like our friend's bikini-top ties, at least two Final Four appearances in the next five years...and that's a promise!

GREG GAMBLE'S ATS HARDWOOD PLAY O THE DAY

Lil Aaron Brooks has a big-time game!

And even if Shaq could crush him like Molly's crushing her friends, AARP Nash is the one that has to chase him 2night!

HOUSTON ROCKETS (+2) @ PHOENIX SUNS
TOUCH ME HERE TO FIND OUT WHY I LUV THE ROCKETS