Inside Plays

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 134-108 ats…56%
NBA 93-85 - NCAA 33-19 - Teasers 8-4 - Church League 69-0

While I'm sure you've missed me more than I miss candid shots of Jessica before Cash & Kids...I'm back Beeatches!

Just like Jessica’s flawless photos, Greggy G has been on hiatus training for a new business venture. But don’t worry…I’m committed to IP.com more than I’m committed to my relationship with Kobe Tai & Nautica Thorn once a week and will make up for it like Michael Vick after the Turner, Hooch, & Hang episode. And with the NBA Playoffs, NBA Draft, Fantasy Football, and plenty of diamond action, I’ll be back and crazier than Lindsey Lohan with the fun-dip sniffles starting tomorrow.

I guarantee won of these cats is going yard tonight because...

...when you look at their numbers, it is almost like Jason Marquis simply grabs his ankles when they step to the plate!
*I know she only grabbed one ankle, but you get the point...right?

COLORADO ROCKIES @ HOUSTON ASTROS (EVEN)
The streakiest team in baseball has won three of four and will be facing a pitcher they own like Travis Henry owns picture frames for his kids. While Marquis has been solid so far this season, check out the Astros middle of the line-up career numbers against the former Cub:

Lance Berkman – (45 AB) .511 .627 OB% 14 RBI
Carlos Lee - (35 AB) .371 4 HR 12 RBI
Hunter Pence - (18 AB) .444 .545 OB%
Miguel Tejada - (8 AB) .500 .556 OB%

Just like our friend, Houston will be all smiles when tonight's hurler hits the mound!

AS FOR MY NBA FINALS PREVIEW...TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 134-108 ats…56%
NBA 93-85 - NCAA 33-19 - Teasers 8-4 - Church League 69-0

While everybody is talking about Kobe & Pau, Trev pairing w/ Lamar to lockdown Orlando's wings is the reason they roll!

And just like our friend here, Ariza is not just cool cause of his tats...he's the shiznit cause he works both ends!

ORLANDO MAGIC @ LOS ANGELES LAKERS (-6)
The Cavs struggled more than Paris Hilton at Barnes & Noble trying to guard Orlando’s wings, while defensively, Ron Van Jeremy’s squad had the luxury of trying to stop the most simplistic offense since I was back playing church league circa 1987. In contrast, the Lakeshow has a perfect duo to guard Hedo & Rashard in Ariza & Odom and runs the famous Triangle offense to perfection. Throw-in the slightest bit of satisfaction Orlando probably felt the first few days after beating The King & his band of merry but mediocre men, and I have a feeling LA will look extremely efficient & focused from start to finish in Game One.

If Delonte's college partner were 100%, I'd give the Magic a chance to make this a great series...

But heading to LA with Rafer ova Jameer is like heading to the beach with Britney instead of Jessica...TOUCH ME HERE

Cause just like the Lakers with Rafer, our friend is having an easy time containing the playmakers in blue!

While the Magic did sweep Kobe & Co. during the regular season
(they won by 3 points Dec. 20th in Orlando & by 6 in LA Jan. 16th), they did so by taking advantage of the Lakers most glaring weakness…point guard. Jameer Nelson averaged 27.5 ppg & 6.5 apg in those two contests taking advantage of Derek Fisher’s inability to contain quick, athletic scoring PGs. And even if Jameer had Mr. Miyagi give his Karate Kid wizardry on the All-Star’s shoulder, I just can’t see how he jumps on the court after four months and contributes anywhere close to what he did the first half of the season.

While watching this freak in the Finals is like an NBA...

...season with a cherry on top, I can't see him winning!

As for big bad Dwight and his dominance around the bucket...
TOUCH ME HERE FOR MORE ANALYSIS & HOT BIKINIS

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 135-108 ats…56%
NBA 94-85 - NCAA 33-19 - Teasers 8-4 - Church League 69-0

Watching these two dissect the somewhat satisfied to be there Magicians was beyond flawless and had me…

...jumping up like a enhanced model at a pool party!

Watching last night's contest proved even further how overmatched Cavs Coach Mike Brown was by not recognizing he needed King James to shadow Hedo Turkoglu on the pick-n-roll, and offensively, letting D-Freak just sit in the middle as LeBron went one-on-one from the top of the key. And even more egregious in the Eastern Conference Finals was how overmatched GM Danny Ferry proved to be.

Instead of kicking-up his feet like our friend, Ferry should've been much busier at the deadline w/ Wally's exp. contract!

While Orlando grabbed Mickael Pietrus specifically for players like Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, & King James, Cleveland GM's entered the playoffs without a single player outside of Lebron that could guard an athletic wing. And I'll admit I didn't realize how bad only having Sasha P. & Wally S. would turn out to be, but hey, besides scouting the ATS World I also spend plenty of time looking for bikinis & candid camel-toes.

Just like his days with MJ, while their opponents were sometimes satisfied to be there, they were all MFin business!

As a result, after one game I'm turning my back on Ron Van Jeremy, D-Howard, and rolling with the Lakeshow in Four!

With that, while my ATS Diamond Season is still in the Exhibition portion part of the schedule, as you saw on Hump Day...that doesn't mean I don't collect paper like a rap groupie on All-Star Weekend!

While I'm not saying he'd look as good as Danielle shirtless...

...I do believe Mr. Penny is gonna have a bounce back year!
So TOUCH ME HERE for the ATS breakdown & more babes!

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 135-108 ats…56%
NBA 94-85 - NCAA 33-19 - Teasers 8-4 - Church League 69-0

Just like my fav expression at my last Tequila Party...

...Kobe looked like an assassin when he was wearing #8...
& now he's wearing #24 and actually has a legacy to protect!

Screw Saturday baseball like Jason Caffey & Shawn Kemp screwed half the groupies across the United States! Kobe wants to become an Association icon and will do whatever it takes to dominate and sweep every game of this series. And as I told ya on Friday, he also has the Zenmaster with some sick game plans up those big-azz sleeves and a bevy of accomplished vets looking to be part of the legacy!

SUNDAY FUNDAY ATS MONEY MAKING PICK

Just like our friend is two for two on covering the goods, the Lakeshow will be heading to Orlando with two easy covers!

ORLANDO MAGIC @ LOS ANGELES LAKERS (-6.5)
While the NBA's version of the Adult Hedgehog will try his mightiest, the Magic are just happy to be there as Mr. Bryant just has being the greatest on his mind...LAKERS IN A BLOWOUT

As for my ATS Saturday Diamond selection...TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 135-109 ats…56%
NBA 94-86 - NCAA 33-19 - Teasers 8-4 - Church League 69-0

As a result of feeling sweatier than Marisa on the catwalk trying to pick tonight's winner...

...I've decided to invest my 401K on the fact Kobe needs to slow things down if he hopes to see this face from Pau!

LOS ANGELES LAKERS @ ORLANDO MAGIC (UNDA 198)
At the press conference following the Lakeshow's OT victory, D-Howard & Co. spent plenty of time talking about how they play better at home because they seem to run more and get more easy buckets. While the gambling novice might be suckered into taking the Magic's bait like Kim Kardashian took Ray-J's bait with camera rolling, the Zenmaster & Kobe are too crafty to let this happen. Especially with the Triangle offense and the Lakers ability to spread the floor and let Bryant & Gasol work the middle of the court, I expect to see LA use at least half the shot-clock on most possessions before looking to score.

BTW. just like I tried to convince Lisa Gleave I needed to use her purple fuzz to wipe my nose...

...do you think Stan Van Jeremy is playing JJ Redick so much in the hopes Phil will start playing this lottery gem?

On Orlando's side, for all the talk about getting out on the break at home, they've actually been the most successful letting Hedo run the pick-n-roll as Rashard takes his time finding some open space. In addition, with how deadly Lewis was in Game 2, look for the Lakers to do a better job of letting him stray to open areas. And because of this, I'm guessing the biggest change you'll see is more opportunties for Dwight as LA closes out on their shooters...and I have feeling Phil will make sure he does most of his attempted damage from the line helping us keep this total in the 180s.
LAKERS/MAGIC 184-190 TOTAL POINTS BEEACTCHES!

AS FOR MY THOUGHT ON THE WINNER TONIGHT...

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 135-110 ats…56%
NBA 94-87 - NCAA 33-19 - Teasers 8-4 - Church League 69-0

Is it really a stretch...

...to think Krabby Kobe won't have a redonkulous game after blowing some great opportunties in LA's last contest?

LOS ANGELES LAKERS (+2.5) @ ORLANDO MAGIC
After an evening of blowing FT's like Pamela blows the captain of a rocker-yacht and getting stripped in the final minute like Kobe Tai in the final scene of "All Tai'd Up", don't you get the feeling Stan the Hedgehog & Co. might be in trouble. And considering Orlando shot almost 63% from the field, Rafer Alston was almost unstoppable, and they still only won by a couple, I have a feeling we might see a double-digit victory from the eventual champs.

And trust me, Orlando better not turn their back...

...on Kobe's streaky running mate...cause he's MFin due!

Call this a Greggy G guarantee if you'd like, but I'm more confident than A-Rod with a call-girl that Mr. Odom will have a monster game as the Magic game-plan to stop Kobe. Especially with Gasol garnering plenty of attention around the bucket and in the high-post, look for Lamar to have plenty of easy looks and to attack the basket with some crazy aggression tonight. Throw-in some better defense from Ariza on Orlando's wings, and D-Freak better have 30 & 20 for Orlando to have any chance at another home-court victory!

And just like our friend, I expect Rashard to look a lil shy in the 2nd half as LA crowds their shooters from the onset!

For all the Magic's success the last two games, Dwight still hasn't found much room to operate and has depended on some monster games from Turkoglu & Lewis to keep things close. So trust me, the Zenmaster will make sure Howard forces plenty of shots as they prevent those two from going off again. BTW, did you know the Lakershow is 6-0 after a loss in the playoffs? As a result, TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 136-110 ats…56%
NBA 95-87 - NCAA 33-19 - Teasers 8-4 - Church League 69-0

While Kobe's crew pulled out another one, you can't blame Mickael for his lockdown D and non-stop motor!

Just like our friend and her pet camel, it's almost like Pietrus & the Magic have a gas pump in the locker-room!

While yours truly picked-up a somewhat lucky ATS-victory last night, I have to admit Stan Van Hedgehog has a game-plan that's dominated the Lakers. Unfortunetly, the lack of experience and foul-shooting has burned them like a high school kid the first time he uses spermicidal lube! As for Game 5, give me a day to figure out if the Lakeshow & Zenmaster are content heading home needing just one victory in two...or if the Magic are simply demoralized!

FRIDAY NIGHT ATS DIAMOND LOVE

Coming off an azz-kicking from Boston, what better fat-cat to break out some emotion in the Bronx than Joba!

And if they get some early runs, look for Yankee Stadium to be busting at the seams like this poor lil piece of material!

NEW YORK METS @ NEW YORK YANKEES (-1.5 runs) (-115)
After just getting swept by the Red Sox, I have a feeling you'll see an angry bunch of superstars looking to take out some frustration against the most-overrated squad in the majors. Especially at home with Joba toeing the rubber, the emotion should be crazy from the onset.

Just like a Tequila a day makes ya a happy man...

...a struggling team loaded with vets gets down-right giddy when they hear Livan is taking the ball!

And while I love how Livan Hernandez has made a living the last six years throwing the ball over the plate and eating innings, this is the worst line-up and stadium for a guy that's unable to avoid contact. So put the groupies & midgets to bed early Homeboys...we celebrating an easy win tonight!...YANKS BY 6-10 RUNS

As for more Greggy G Sports Opinions...TOUCH ME HERE

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 137-110 ats…56%
NBA 96-87 - NCAA 33-19 - Teasers 8-4 - Church League 69-0

Just like fishnet makes me giggle...

...no matter what the naysayers write, Coach Stan Van Jeremy is the reason the Magic have free dominated on offense!

LOS ANGELES LAKERS @ ORLANDO MAGIC (-2.5)
Maybe I’m as naïve as a father allowing her freshman daughter to go to the prom, but I truly believe the Lakeshow is satisfied heading to LA having to win just one of two and somewhat trained.

Just like our friend the Lakers might be a lil laxed today!

And for all the talk Van Gundy blew a few critical moments in Game Four, they've baffled the Zenmaster with their game-plan and just need some playoff newcomers to make some veteran decisions late in the game. Sure Jameer should have fouled or at least guarded the three, but give the Hedgehog a break...he's a couple plays from a 3-1 lead with some above average wings and a superstar limited in his offensive abilities. So give the funny-man some luv Homeboys!

And while Phil might have a lil half-azz attitude like his days with Dennis knowing they have two chances in Hollywood...

...Just like Jenny, I look for the youngsters from Orlando to look tight in the home whites tonight fellas!

As for what else I think...TOUCH ME HERE

You heard it here first, the Bulls will be grabbing BJ Mullens with their 1st pick....and I frickin' love it Homeboys!

First and foremost, I’d like to break out a "Kobe to the wifie after hanging at a Colorado hotel" -type of apology for the lack of daily lingerie, adult-video analogys, and sports banter over the last few weeks...I'm embarrassed and promise to make it up to you someday!

But it's not like I've been sitting around in my undies playing the guitar...I've been hustling for a new gig my friends!

For those not lucky enough to have split a 24-oz Icehouse with my azz recently, my professional career has changed and I have been training harder than those poor kids with foreign parents for the National Spelling Bee. But don’t worry, by the time you’re getting ready for your NFL Fantasy Draft, I'll be working it harder than a Cougar around a Golden Tee machine. As for the NBA Draft, while I haven’t put in the crazy analysis of year’s past, I do have a few quick thoughts on my favorite day in sports.

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009 $2.99 NBA DRAFT ANALYSIS
To see my 2008 DRAFT PICKS...TOUCH ME HERE

While our friend here would look good in any color...

...Blake's gonna quickly learn how hard it is to play for the short-bus version of professional ball in LA!

BLAKE GRIFFIN 6-10 PF – Griff is a slightly bigger, more athletic version of Carlos Boozer. Besides the foul-trouble he’ll be in the first few years, he’ll be 20-10 animal by his sophomore season and has the character traits that make organizations drool. As for the curse of Clipperland, they’ve proved their stupidity again trying to move C Chris Kaman since securing the #1 pick....the unselfish 7-footer would be a perfect match alongside Griffin and would give the squad some much needed discipline down-low. While the Sooner superstar is the shiznit, a disfunctional roster and organization means the kid will be heading for the hills as soon as his rookie contract is up...so don't get too excited!

Hey look...she has arms like dat Rubio kid!

RICKY RUBIO 6-5 PG – While I’ve enjoyed the fables of ESPN’s Chad Ford over the years, I’ve never seen a player ranked so high because a NBA Draft scribe had a Greggy G on Sam from Who’s The Boss-type infatuation with a kid. He’s white, plays bad defense, can’t shoot, and is skinnier than an Olsen Twin. Call me crazy, but Rubio reminds me of a taller White Chocolate w/ a lil more discipline and no range on his J. And while Jason Williams sold some seats early in his days in Sac-Town, with the way the game has changed, the former Florida drop-out would be lucky to be drafted in the 1st round today. As for Rubio, I can't wait to see who makes the mistake on him.

Say hello to Greggy G's sleeper of the draft...and to be honest, the kid trying to block his shot is a hellva steal too!

...and instead of Rubio, I'd be taking...
ERIC MAYNOR 6-3 PG – With a great handle, nice length, lockdown D, a solid mid-range game, and all the leadership qualities you want in a NBA floor-general, the kid from VCU is a lock to be a professional hardwood starter for 10 years and has the potential to be a boarderline All-Star. If I was a GM and desperate for a PG, I’d trade down and snag the most sure thing since Kobe Tai in fishnet to run my show. And spreaking of the Collison kid from UCLA, he's a lock to be an awesome back-up point at the very least and gem if picking in the 20s.

Just like it's a sure think I would pay $5,000 if this chair came up for auction...

...the sure thing from Pitt isn't the undersized PF with bad knees...it's the gym-rat named Sammy!

SAM YOUNG 6-5 SG – This is how I know most GMs & scouts are subscribing to Videobox.com instead of Insideplays.com. Mr. Young is a 6-5 freakish athlete that actually dedicated himself to becoming more than just a highlight-reel player and has the rep of a phenomenal teammate. The stupidest analysis I’ve heard about the kid is he’s already 24…I guess it sucks that he’s mature and can contribute right away. So take my advice and be the star at your next summer party and tell the groupies & midgets that Sammy is the biggest steal since David Spade was smelling the lingerie of Heathler Locklear's crazy-azz. While he's rumored between 18-24, I actually think he'll have a better career than James Harden who'll land in the Top Ten.

BTW, to see my 2008 DRAFT PICKS...TOUCH ME HERE

While I have no problem with lil booty on my adult stars, I do have a problem drafted a wing-player with a lil baggage!

...speaking of the former Sun Devil
JAMES HARDEN 6-5 SG – While I could see the somewhat overweight swing guard going top-8 if it was circa 1980, in today’s game he’s more of a liability on the defensive end and might have more trouble creating his shot than the experts think. While he has a sweet stroke, I can't see how he's more than just a solid role-player.

Just like this pic is much hotter because of the pair...

...Curry needs a perfect pairing at the next level!

STEPHEN CURRY 6-3 G – The Thunder would be foolish not to let this undersized sharpshooter play alongside a backcourt mate (Westbrook) that could guard the two while letting Curry spot-up on O. The funny thing, unless he's paired with someone like Westbrook, I can't see how he makes a team much better unless he's a 6th-man type shooter off the bench. Of all the ballers in the draft, he’s either a game-changer or a liability strickly depending on where he goes.

FOR MORE GREGGY G DRAFT INSIGHT, INCLUDING THE CHICAGO BULLIES...TOUCH ME HERE HOMEBOYS!