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October 2009 Archives

October 4, 2009

Sunday Funday Luv & Ladies

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 5-0 ats...100%
NFL 5-0 - NCAA 0-0 - Teasers 0-0 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

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Just like our friend, when ur sitting at 5-0 ATS on the season, everywhere you walk the wind just blows through ur hair!

Coach Kubiak, Matt Shaub, and the organization needs this win more than a Kardashian needs a big black semi-famous roller rod-coaster. Seriously Homeboys, this coaching staff is walking on thin ice and Kristy Alley just saw a snow drift of coconut flakes tossed w/ powdered sugar on the surface.

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Two Tuddies and 150 yards from the best WR in the game!

No need for X’s & O’s today beeatches, Andre Johnson, Mario Williams, & Steve Slaton tear it up like T.T. Boy at a backyard BBQ with happy endings in Van Nuys. As for Oakland, even though everyone on the squad knows JaMisscus Russell is beyond awful, Cable is forced to play him because Lord Sidious (aka Al ole diva Davis) doesn't know a thing about pigskin anymore. Throw-in a banged-up O-Line and a D that’s already thinking of where they can go next year (I call it “thinkin’ like Chris Bosh”), and I fully expect a win close to the number of times Winnie Cooper graced my imaginative thoughts as a youngster.

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This pick will make you look pretty today!

Just like the majority of Chicagoans didn’t realize Mayor Daley put the full-court press on the Olympics once he was told it was the only way to save his spot & reputation, Oakland is putting out shiznit that make it seem like they’re turning the corner...but the Raiders are the biggest joke in sports since Master P was actually given a NBA roster invite. This will be a blow-out…and no need to thank me when you head to halftime up double-digits.

Final Score: TEXANS 34 RAIDERS 10

And now...
PIGSKIN PICKS FROM DA YEKER!

After making amends to all last week, this week I plan on making you say “Amen”, because all are welcome to profit at the Holy House of Da Yeker. Sustained for a week on Stoli, Orange Crush, and 2 lbs. of beef stick, I have produced the following for your entertainment purposes only.

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Da Yeker is positioned for another big week!

BALTIMORE RAVENS (+1.5) @ NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

One of the great things about living in the wonderful City of Chicago, despite wasting $100 million to come in 4th place on a bid to host a bunch of foreigners to play handball and trampoline, is that I get to see the Northeast’s tomorrow weather today. It’s like I’m all Donnie Darko sans bunny suit. Alright that’s a half truth; I only wear the bunny suit head though. Don’t hate my semi-Furry lifestyle.

Ok, ok, back to the weather. Let me tell you it’s been raining here for the past two days in constant nasty sputters. Just enough to make everything soggy, mushy, and alcoholic supportive. According to my meteorological studies, it’s supposed to be the same in Foxboro, MA for Saturday and Sunday with on and off showers throughout the game. While it won’t be monsooning during the game, it will be less than perfect conditions for NFL ball-chucking offensive football. My postulate for these conditions is the team that wins this game will be the one that runs and defends better. Now whose team is that, Joe Flacco’s or Tom Brady Bundchen’s? Let’s look at the numbers.The Ravs are the 5th best rushing team in the league averaging 158.7 yds/gm with 2 RBs averaging over 60 yds/gm. New England is 17th in the league averaging 108.0 yds/gm with their best RB Fred Taylor averaging only 58.7 yds. On top of that, the Pats best short pass catcher, Wes Welker, is Questionable for the game with an achy knee, which means even if he plays, expect him half of a step slow and no replacement for the run.

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Just like our friend, Joey Flacco has the lanky frame that makes life easy in the NFL!

Now for the second part of the postulate, the D. The Ravs are the #1 rush D in the league and the #18 pass D. The Pats are the #10 rush D and #6 pass D with their key lich pin Vince Wilfork Questionable and their Defensive Rookie of the Year LB Jared Mayo (4 parts oil, one egg, whipped) Doubtful for the game. My sources point to Willie showing Mayo how to dig down on a buffet at Sizzler Saturday night, so no need for shoulder pads Sunday for either. While the Pats might have the better overall D, their injuries and run protection will make them worse on Sunday.

Based on all this, look for a less than photogenic game where the Ravs run well, the Ravs stop the run well, and Brady promises to name his son Reed, if Baltimore limits their picks to 3. Take the Ravs and the points.

Final Score: RAVENS 24 PATRIOTS 14

(If you’re jonesin’, play the UNDA @ 44.5 also)

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Anyone who hangs out w/ Carlton is perfect in my book!

NEW YORK JETS @ NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (-7)

The game of week, boys and degenerates. I know that J-E-T-S have one the best Ds in the league under the son of the progenitor of the 46 D, which makes him like the post-progenitor. I’m a Latin scholar like that. Despite their skill and pedigree, one just has to look at the injury report to realize they should just go ahead and mark this up as their 1st loss of the season. They have 3 CBs on that list, 2 definite Outs and 1 Probable with a Hami, and 2 Ss as Probable, both with leggy type owies. Who are the facing? The #1 rated QB in the league, Drew “Moley Mole” Brees, at home indoors with his full complement of receivers expected to start. Raise Vonnegut’s ghost ‘cuss I want to compare the number of bombs in this game to Dresden in 45.

Final Score: JETS 13 SAINTS 30

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Have a Sunday that would make Hank Baskett smile!

October 8, 2009

Home of the Undefeated ATS Pigskin Luv

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 6-0 ats...100%
NFL 6-0 - NCAA 0-0 - Teasers 0-0 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

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Only a few things are bigger then Greggy G's win % this year!

While the number of plays is down from year's past, the Greg Gamble production is absolutely flawless my degenerate friends...so time to break out the college luv like a sorority sister on spring break! As for Da Yeker and his Sunday Funday picks, I have a feeling he'll be moving ahead of .500 this weekend and well on his way to stardom.

While I hate to do it...kirky.jpg
...Ricky & Kirky are getting a lil ATS tap from Greggy G!

MICHIGAN WOLVERINES @ IOWA HAWKEYES (-8)
Coming from a Cyclone grad that would rather watch the Wilson Phillips girl’s gastric bypass surgery Clockwork Orange-style than Hawkeye football, you know things have to be pretty sweet for this ATS maven to be rolling with Kirk FairyPants on Saturday. And just like Chasey Lain rode the purplesaurous rex in Where the Boys Aren’t 9, I’m riding the kids from Iowa City with Grandma's piggybank tomorrow cause this one has 20pt victory written all over it...cause damn Iowa's D is sweet!

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While I'll admit the lil guy has a nice smile...

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...I prefer lil things on the beach more than the gridiron!

Sure, Tate Forcier is kinda cute for the coeds and temporarily saved Rich Rod’s backside, but the kid is the size of the dude from The Sandlot movie and will be wearing a warm-up suit by November if he keeps taking those monster hits. While he’s been running for his life and somehow succeeded so far, as teams watch more and more of the Wolverines, he’s gonna be in for a long Big Ten season if they can't run the ball. Btw, the "Fire Richie" chants will be circling again next week.

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On the flipside, unlike our friend, Iowa has the size on the outside to make things a nightmare for Michigan's DBs!

While the 6-4 Jr. QB Ricky Stanzi has been surprisingly erratic at times this season, look for the 6-4 WR duo of Trey Stross & Marvin “Not my nut, but” McNutt (27 rec, 18 avg, 3 TD) and the TE combo of Tony Moeaki & Allen Reisner (22 rec, 2 TD) to put pressure on an extremely overrated Wolverine secondary. Throw-in the underrated freshmen backfield tandem of Robinson & Wegher (628 yrds 6 TD) behind an improving O-Line to keep Michigan off-balance, not to mention the field position Special Teams speedster Paul Chaney Jr. will give them, and I expect the Hawkeyes to put up almost two scores a quarter Saturday.

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Greggy isn't riding the fence (or chair) on this call Homeboys
...Hawkeyes in blowout that would make Kobe Tai proud!

Final Score: WOLVERINES 13 HAWKEYES 34

Have a great weekend fools and make sure to check back on Sunday Funday for more luv from Greggy G and Da Yeker!

October 10, 2009

SUNDAY FUNDAY ATS MAGIC & MAYHEM

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 6-1 ats...86%
NFL 6-0 - NCAA 0-1 - Teasers 0-0 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

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My Homeboy Stevie is MFin overdue to tear shiznit up!

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...and Btw, Cora is overdue for an interview at Insideplays.com!

WASHINGTON SUCKSINS @ CAROLINA PANTHERS (-3.5)
This one is way too easy for this undefeated professional pigskin baller. The Skins suck worse than a teeth-dragger w/ granny panties, while Carolina is off a bye week w/ some offensive talent that is way overdue.

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Unlike the Redskins, her skin is MFin flawless!

Jason Campbell is just about average when he has confidence, but after plenty of hatred from the DC faithful and a coach waiting for a pink slip, this has disaster written all over it.

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Don't spazz out girl, just like u, Carolina will be wearin' home-whites!

The Panthers are due, Jake DelSPAZZholme will eventually stop throwing to opposing DBs, and Stevie Smith & D-Will have too many crazy skills not to remind people Carolina has been pretty solid the last few years…plus, Jason Campbell sucks.

Final Score: SUCKSKINS 10 PANTHERS 24

and now...
PICKS FROM DA YEKER...dat's right, PICKS FROM DA YEKER!

I just got back from my man SJQ’s 1st B-day where I only gave him one bit of advice on the rest of life: Don’t trust your Uncle Yeker on anything except NFL ATS. I’ve got my order into Wing Street so let's lay down some info before I clog da arteries...so let's roll u crazy degenerates!

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Bet this cat if you want...but Da Yeker knows he's in for more than a lil trouble dropping back against Da Steelers!

PITTSBURGH STEELERS (-10.5) @ DETROIT LIONS
I know the Lions won a game this year, but I just feel bad every time I think about them. How does this team resemble an NFL organization? Are there actually people left in Detroit to watch them? Honestly, the League needs to hold an expansion draft for this team. They’ve only covered the spread 1 time this year, and that resulted in their first win in 19 tries. This week the Lions play a hungry Steelers team that needs to win to keep pace in the AFC Northizzle.

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BTW, Da Yeker asked for pictures of the star from The Program (Omar Epps) and Olivia Wilde...and I gave him one.

My man Omar Epps will be taking the week off from shooting episodes of House and making out with my girl Olivia Wilde just to make sure his team is studied up on diagnosing ways to beat the Lions. By the way, the Lions will most likely be lead by the inferno man himself, Daunte Culpepper. He was awesome Madden 2001. It’s going to be an ugly game with a cover by the Steelers.

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Just like our friends, the way these teams attack the opposition Da Yeker is expecting pleny of scoring on Sunday!

CINCINNATIE BENGALS @ BALTIMORE RAVENS (OVA 42.5)
Me calling this game is a case of greed on my part. Ravens will focus on stopping Cedric Benson. Yeah, you heard me: Focus on stopping Cedric Benson. That’s going to open up my man Ochocinco who is playing against an inferior CB. Baltimore won’t be shabby on changing scoreboard numbers either.

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Like our girl, watch the Jags barely skate to a victory!

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (+2) @ SEATTLE SEAHAWKS
Seattle is still almost as banged up as certain video titles on display at Redtube. They will be out 6 starters this week. The Jags showed new swagger and stayed healthy in a good ole’ fashion game of whup@ss last week against the Titans. Even if the Jags running doesn’t get going, David Frenchname will have extra time to pass with DE Patrick Kerney not starting for Seattle. Take the points, degenerates.

And just like Greggy G's underrated sweetheart...
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...just cause Insideplays hasn't been working as much lately, doesn't mean we're still not the MFin shiznit!

October 12, 2009

Monday Night Luv w/ a 75% of ATS Success

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 6-2 ats...75%
NFL 6-1 - NCAA 0-1 - Teasers 0-0 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

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Da Coach's greatness touched Buddy Ryan...and we all know Buddy Ryan passed that defensive greatness onto his son!

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So listen up Homeboys & girls, throw-in a must win situation for Miami with a new signal caller, and this one's going unda!

NEW YORK JETS @ MIAMI DOLPHINS (UNDA 37)
With the Dolphins already relying on a ground heavy attack, you have to expect an even more conservative approach with Chad Henne taking over unda center...which means the Rex Ryan led defensive for the Jets will be stuffing the box like like the late-great John Holmes in the cinematic classic "Tell them Johnny Wad was here!".

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While the Dirty Sanchez bandwagon is filling-up by the day, I'm not one that things he's as cool as he looks!

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Now that's what I call walking like a cool cat!

As for the Jets, after watching Sanchez dominate his last contest with rookie mistakes, I'm guessing you see plenty of short-passes and plenty of carries for their trio of RBs. Especially if it's a lil rainy as expected, this one could be a ball control contest from start to finish.

Final Score: JETS 10 DOLPHINS 13

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Just like I luv this pair of UNDwear, I luv the UNDA tonight fellas. So take it light & make sure to tip ur dancers!

October 16, 2009

NCAA ATS PICKS AND LOVELY LADIES

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 6-3 ats...75%
NFL 6-2 - NCAA 0-1 - Teasers 0-0 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

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Feel free to take the kid with a banged-up shoulder trying to get back into the flow, but I'm rolling...

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...with a kid named Colt that rolls w/ da chick on the left!

OKLAHOMA SOONERS vs TEXAS LONGHORNS (-3.5) Dallas, TX
I just luv the fact Colt McCoy has a silky smooth rhythm going with a great O-Line, while Sammy B is trying to get back into the groove with a inexperienced group up-front. Throw-in a solid speed rush from Texas and Bradford’s two favorite weapons hanging in the training room (TE Grisham-out, WR Broyles-questionable), and I can’t see how the Sooners pull-off something they couldn’t do last year.

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Just like Insideplays introduced u to Jarah before she was famous...

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...so "Hello" to the up-n-comming star of the Longhorns Mr. Bucnker!

I know the Longhorns backfield is banged-up, but just like Urban Meyer didn’t care about Tebow’s bruised-brain and called a half-dozen QB keepers in the second half against LSU, Mack Brown and his pigskin robots will do whatever it takes to get on the gridiron (Jr. Vondrell McGee & Fr. Tre’ Newton – 461 yrds, 5.4 avg, 5 Td). As for the passing game and the sick accuracy of Mr. McCoy, look for the Sooners to overplay Sr. Jordan Shipley (47 rec.) and allow 6-4 So. Dan Buckner (29 rec. 4 Td) and former prized QB-recruit, 6-2 Jr. John Chiles (20 rec.), to burst into the national spotlight.

Final Score: SOONERS 20 LONGHORNS 30

GREG GAMBLE’S GRAND OPENING 2009 TEASER SPECIAL
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You know Greggy G luvs his Teasers Homeboys!

NEVADA WOLFPACK (teased -3) @ UTAH ST. AGGIES
For the first time in a longtime, the Wolfpack entered the season with expectations higher than Snoop Dogg on purple plane...but unfortunetly, they stumbled out the gate like Britney out of club dropping their first three. But since then, the nation’s deadliest rushing attacks has been virtually unstoppable winning their last two contests by a combined score of 100-42 and averaging 642 yard per contest.

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While both Nevada's QB and Britney broke on the scene with flawless style only to struggle down the road...

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...Mr. Kaepernick has shown the ability to bounce back!

Nevada has five players that have rushed for more than 200 yards this season, led by 6-6 Jr. signal-caller Colin Kaepernick (920 passing yards, 66 comp% - 384 rushing yards, 6.5 avg). And Saturday, they face the run-challanged and overall awful (1-4) Aggies that have given-up an average of 32.4 ppg. What else you need hear Fellas?

Final Score: WOLFPACK 24 AGGIES 37

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While this isn't exactly Buckeye colors, it's definitely a lot closer to the right shade than the Boilermakers!

OHIO STATE BUCKEYES (teased -8) @ PURDUE BOILERMAKERS
The (1-5) Boilermakers and their new headmaster are hosting an awful situation…a ridiculously talented defense with an offense littered with NFL-talent embarrassed from their performance last week. Look for Buckeye QB Terrelle Pryor to scamper around for at least 140 yards rushing and to connect on few deep balls to make this a blowout by halftime.

Final Score: BUCKEYES 37 BOILERMAKERS 20

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Got luv College Fellas...Have a great MFin Weekend!

October 18, 2009

SUNDAY FUNDAY ATS MAGIC & HOTNESS

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 6-5 ats...55%
NFL 6-2 - NCAA 0-2 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

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While Tony Gonzalez will have the success early, look for Mr. Roddy White to have some fun just before you head to bed!

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Sorry Fellas, but while some things are hard to cover, ATL's line againt my beloved is not one of them

CHICAGO BEARS @ ATLANTA FALCONS (-3)
For a cat that luvs Da Coach, Jay Cutler, nationally televised night games featuring his favorite team, and Asian adult film stars, you know I’m 100% ATS committed when I’m rolling with a Bears opponent. The Falcons offense is more diverse than Aurora Snow in My Sister’s Hot Friend 4, and the Chicago D just doesn’t have any playmakers in the secondary and sports a pedestrian DT rotation with Israel Idonijie out of commission with a bum knee. While I hope I’m wrong, I have a feeling Jay “Jerk-Face, but I luv him” Cutler doesn’t have the weapons to keep pace on the scoreboard against a balanced Hotlanta attack at home. (BTW, why do I always think of a stripper named "Cocktail" everytime I write the word "Hotlanta"?)

Final Score: BEARS 20 FALCONS 31

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Come on DelSpazzHomme...just drink some water, relax, and have some fun today!

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...cause it's just a day at the beach againt the Bucs!

CAROLINA PANTHERS (-3) @ TAMPA BAY SUCKANEERS
While Jake DelSpazzholmme squeaked out a win against the lowly Redskins, believe it or not, the Panthers are riding a ”we saved our season after the bye week and believe we’re still frickin good”-mojo and the inkling they can right a sinking ship with contests against the Suckaneers & bumbling Bills the next two weeks. Throw-in a Tampa QB that might be the most unknown signal-caller in the last decade, and I can’t see how DeAngelo Williams & Stevie Smith don’t dominate against a defense that is already playing youngsters for next year.

Final Score: PANTHERS 24 SUCKANEERS 13

And now,
PICKS FROM MY ATS HANDICAPPIN HOMEBOY DA YEKER
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While Da Yeker has been laying in the weeds, today I expect his sometimes sorry-azz to break-out with the magic!

Alright, alright, let’s get this out of the way. Last week I sucked. I now know how it feels to play for the Raiders. But this week, I’m coming back with more analysis than places to tuck a buck at the local lingerie show. I guarantee that you will not be picking me last to be on your handicapping them after this week.

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Just like our friend, Da Yeker is done being depressed and just laying in bed because this OVA is just too MFin pretty!

CLEVELAND BROWNS @ PITTSBURGH STEELERS (OVA 38)
For all of us who watched the Browns play a game of grab @ss with the Bills last week, I think the NFL officially owes us an apology and a firing of Dick Jauron. That game set NFL offense back by 100 years. I’m pretty sure the total scores from each of the MLB playoff games this week were higher. While I’m no fan of Manggenius, he does know offense and you can be sure that was the focus of Brown’s practice this week. On top of that, I know the Steelers can score and also aren’t all that good at stopping other people from doing it this year. Hell, they let Daunte Culpepper and the Lions put up 20 on them last week. I know the Hair Polamalu is back this week, but 38 is just too low of an Ova to turn away from. Sit back and root for the points.

Final Score: BROWNS 17 STEELERS 28

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When Da Yeker is thinking dead-sexy, that usually means he's grabbing the Jergins and thinkin' Caprice...or Rex Ryan

BUFFALO BILLS @ NEW YORK JETS (-10)
The Jets have hit the skids the past two weeks like a background extra in Rad (Greg Gamble’s favorite movie). What’s the best solution to get back on track, play the Buffalo Bills at home, of course. The weather is expected to be sloppy, which will play into the Jets game plan of wanting to run the ball and to play hard nose D. As for the Bills, see my commentary above with the added note that they have absolutely no LB core. J-E-T-S easy winners tomorrow.

Final Score: BILLS 10 JETS 30

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The Sunday Funday Shirt O the Day Homeboys...take it light!

October 22, 2009

COLLEGE FOOTBALL ATS PICKS & LUV

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 8-5 ats...62%
NFL 8-2 - NCAA 0-2 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

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While Grandpa Joe's not smiling about Mayra...

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...he's a happy cat because the Lions have Mayra's backside type of size to make the lil Wolverines shutter!

#13 PENN ST. NITTANY LIONS (-4.5) @ MICHIGAN WOLVERINES
I know lil Forcier & Coach Dick Rod spoiled my undefeated ATS season when they covered against the Hawkeyes…but I’m not wavering on my stance that the former Mountaineer headmaster is going to kill his freshman phenom QB before season’s end. And even though that same Iowa team bitch-slapped Granpa Joe in Happy Valley, trust me my fellow degenerates, the Gambling Gods have no sense of rhyme or reason. Penn St. is a powerhouse on both sides of the ball and will destroy one of the worst defenses in the Big Ten. Throw-in the fact that teams know more and more about the Wolverines undermanned spread attack and I can’t see how the Lions don’t win by double digits.

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Just like our friend, the Nittany Puddycats will walk away in style from Saturday's contest!

While most think Penn St. is simply a power running attack, I believe they’re more balanced than Aurora Snow in Lollipop Lesbians and don’t make the mistakes in the passing game the way the Hawkeyes did against Michigan. Sr. QB Daryll Clark (last 3 games: 4 TDs, 1 INT, 598 yrds, 67%) has the outside weapons and a massive O-Line to pick apart a Wolverine D that will spend all their energy trying to stop one of the deadliest backs in football (Evan Royster 648 yrds, 5.8 avg).

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You'll soon see Evan racing past cats on Sundays soon...

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...but till then, he's busting out like MF on College Gameday!

Especially after the shocking loss to an extremely overrated Hawkeye squad, I think the Lions got the wake-up call they needed to shred the remaining Big Ten Beeatches. Throw-in that the Wolverines are coming off a game where they were facing D2 talent (Delaware St.), and I expect Grandpa’s boys to shock the overmatched and undersized kids from Ann Arbor early in this contest…which means they carry a 17-point lead into halftime and casually dominate the entire 2nd half.

Final Score: JOPA 44 DICK ROD 27

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Don't stare me down...I'm just trying to beat the man like u!

October 25, 2009

SUNDAY FUNDAY 80% ATS WONDERLAND

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 9-5 ats...64%
NFL 8-2 - NCAA 1-2 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

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Just like our friend, relax this Sunday Funday and wait for a gift for the Gamblin' Gods this evening...

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...cause this lil cat in the ugly red sweater is gonna roll late night like I rolled game at DQ without a Driver's License!

ARIZONA CARDINALS @ NEW YORK GIANTS (-7)
Trust me Homeboys, it's cold, Kurt's old, the Cards aren't traveling for the playoffs, and Crazy Coughlin is comming off a loss...I feel like the day I saw Punky Brewster made into an adult film...really MFin Happy! G-Men in a blow-out.

Final Score: CARDINALS 16 GIANTS 37

and now, PICKS FROM DA YEKER
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Listen Fellas, while DA YEKER has sucked this season, I have a feeling he's turing the MFin corner...or he's fired!
Btw, this pic represents IP.com at a crossroads deciding if Da Yeker is worth keeping...if ur confused, just think of the chair as the crossroads

I’ll tell you my fellow degenerates, my last 2 weeks ATS have wrecked my psyche. After last Sunday’s performance, I sat down and formulated a new training schedule and diet to get me back up to the Inside Plays tradition. I’m happy to say that my circuit training of forearm twists and a macrobiotic diet of Popov and pork rinds from the local bodega appears to be paying off. I punished myself yesterday by putting my skills to test in an all out 3 MAC game challenge. After watching hours of bad football that looked less athletic than Shannon Tweed dry humping on SkinaMax circa 1994, my skills are back with a 3 for 3 showing to prove it.

Jigga wat’? Jigga money winning NFL plays, that’s wat’:
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You know DA YEKER knows something special if he thinks this cat is gonna help him win some dolla dolla bills!

MINNESOTA VIKINGS @ PITTSBURGH STEELERS (OVA 46)
Just rewind my winning comments from last week. The Steelers know how to score and can’t stop any team from doing it on them. 4 of their 6 games have had combined scores over 40 points. The games of their opponent this week, the Minnesota Favres, have topped the 40 point total score amount 6 out of 6 games this year. Minnesota will be down its best CB in Antoine Winfield. While I can’t confirm whether he Yankee great Dave Winfield’s love childe, I can tell you that it looks good for Brett Roethlisbigassname who has already thrown for a league leading 1,887 yards. This spells a sit back & root for pts situation.

Final Score: VIKINGS 30 STEELERS 33

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Here's an idea u lil wanna be QB superstar, start ballin like former Charger star Babe Laufenberg cause that'll mean...

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...he's actually knocking it in the hole!
(I have no idea what that means, but I like this picture)

SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (-5) AT KANSAS CITY BRODIE CROYLES
San Diego may have just watched its division championship hopes disappear last week at the hands of the Cowboy Kyle Orton. The rough faced Turner brother has to get his team a win this week to keep his job. Shawne Merriman doesn’t have a sack yet this season and he’s facing a team this week with a QB named Matt Cassell who has been dumped on his head the 2nd most times in the league this season at 19. All this spells a good chance that I might get to see my favorite retro-player Brodie Brodie Croyle. Lay the points against the home dog, ATS homeboys.

Final Score: CHARGERS 34 CHIEFS 17
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Just like I think happy thoughts bout whip-cream everytime I see her face, I think winning dollars when DA YKER picks Carolina

BUFFALO BILLS @ CAROLINA PANTHERS (-7)
So if you were like the Yeker last week and watched the season debut of Bills backup QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, you were privy to some awesome high school throwing skills. The Harvard Man is expected to be the signal caller again this week with a hungry state schooler playing on the other side the ball in Julius Peppers. The Bills are also playing back to back road games with the worst rush defense in the league going against a top 10 rush offense in the Panthers. Hell, Carolina executed a game winning 80-yard drive that consisted of 15 rushes and 1 pass last week. Not even the Cajun Interceptee Delhomme can screw the win up this week (he’ll still try though).

Final Score: BILLS 10 PANTHERS 24

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Don't look dazed girls...it's just Sunday Funday!

October 31, 2009

GAMEDAY ATS PIGSKIN ACTION & FUN

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 9-6 ats...60%
NFL 8-3 - NCAA 1-2 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%

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While this type of hype screwed them early...

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...this type of classy lady might screw them last if they continue to roll their crazzy-azz game!

#25 MISSISSIPPI REBELS (-4) @ AUBURN TIGERS
In August, nearly every gridiron guru was calling Ole Miss their sleeper team to watch and 6-3 Jr. QB Jevan Sneed their dark horse for the Heisman. And just like what happened when I awoke with two hotties in my college slumber pad, the Rebels ego soared after a few cupcakes and were brought back to reality when they opened SEC play. In their two losses (Gamecocks & Tide), not only did they look passive, but Mr. Snead was absolutely abysmal (33-comp%, 1 TD, 4 INT).

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Just like our friend, I think the Rebels are gamers!

Since then, the Rebels have displayed a swagger that ruined the Gators undefeated season last year and have blowout victories at UAB (48-13) and Arkansas (31-17). As for the former Texas-transfer QB, the NFL draft gurus are starting to see why they had a signal-caller near the top of their draftboards to start the year (67-comp%, 572 yrds, 5 TD, 2 INT). Throw-in the re-emergence of dual-threat speedster Sr. Dexter McCluster (last week: 22 rush, 123 yrds – 11 rec, 137 yrds TD), the power of So. RB Brandon Bolden (426 yrds, 5.5 avg), and plenty of threats on the outside, and Ole Miss has the makings of a strong finish.

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So you think you can be horrific at ISU and be better in an inferior conference...yeah, that makes sense, kinda like...

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...Mrs. Armit thinking she has a chance at Greggy G...I'm way outta her MFin league!

As for Auburn, f*ck that former Cyclones Head Coach…he got hired after winning about 25% of his games. Yeah, great hire. They’ve lost 3-straight and I guarantee the kids are wondering what the hell he’s doing running the program.

Final Score: REBELS 31 lilTigers 17

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As they say, college fun is always fun!

SUNDAY FUNDAY GAMBLING & GIRLS

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 9-7 ats...56%
NFL 8-3 - NCAA 1-3 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%

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In honor of Ray-Ray and the Ravens off the bye week...

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...nuttin's better then this!

DENVER BRONCOS @ BALTIMORE RAVENS (-3)
What else do say Homeboys...Baltimore wins easier then TT Boy at birthday party with back-tats!

Final Score: BRONCOS 13 RAVENS 27

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Pink lingerie & Greggy G on Sunday morn...what else u need?

AND NOW...TIME FOR PICKS FROM DA YEKER!!!
(Let's go Yeker, ur MFin do for a run!)

Man, I love Halloween night. It’s the only time of year that girls don’t find it weird that I want to wear my plushy bunny head to bed. Why am I so misunderstood for the other 364?
If you degenerates didn’t get your fill of horror shows yesterday, you can always tune into the Rams at Lions. That’s sure to frighten away any resemblance of a professional football game.
Here are my All Saint’s Days plays. Get you’re @ss to church and make some green, heathens.

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Flawless...just like the Wildcat versus the Jets!
MIAMI DOLPHINS (+3.5) @ NEW YORK JETS

While I prefer to keep most of my feline fantasies about my girl Cheetara from the ThunderCats, I’m started to get a semi watching the Dolphins run the Ronnie Brown and Ricky Rasta Williams WildCat O. This week, they’ll be running it in a grudge match against the NY J-E-T-S, who are mad at a week 5 Monday night last seconds loss. Too bad the Jets have a subpar rush D that is giving up 117 yards per game on average. With 3 of the Jets WRs are questionable for the game, look for Rex BigPants to have his offense also heavily focused on the run. This sets up for a tight score of a game. When games are going to be close, it’s all the better to have the free points, and thus, “Miami has the Dolphins, the greatest football team”.
BTW, the Dolphins’ website has a medical glossary for all us Hippocraticly inept degenerates. Oddly there’s no listing on the medicinal use of marijuana.

Final Score: DOLPHINS 24 JETS 21

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These two are due and Bear D sucks, so...
(GREG GAMBLE LUVS THIS PICK AND HAS ADDED IT TO HIS PLAYS...MOSTLY CAUSE IT'S ON TV AND HE'LL BE WATCHING IT!)

CLEVELAND BROWNS @ CHICAGO BEARS (OVA 40)
If you watch the Bears as much as the Yeker, you must be one sorry sorry SOB. You also know the Bears can’t even get their LBs and secondary to put together a D that looks like anything more than the sandlot version of guys pointing their fingers and saying “I got that guy:” Cleveland isn’t much better. Look for the teams combined D F’Ups to more than help the offense overcome this low Ova.

Final Score: BROWNS 14 BEARS 30

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She must luv the Cardinals wearing colors like dis!

CAROLINA PANTHERS @ ARIZONA CARDINALS (-10)
My analysis of this game is not a classic one of “have nots”, but of “haves”. And, the Carolina Panthers still have the Cajun Interceptee Delhomme under center. He single handedly kept them out of the game against the Bills last week at home. That’s the definition of “suck” in Merriam Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary. Carolina is going to have to recommit to the run this week. Sounds smart. Oh but wait, there on the road against the Arizona Cardinals who have the best run D in the League, only allowing an average of 67.5 yards per game. Old Kurt is going to be getting some spiky hair fem-mullet love after this game.

Final Score: PANTHERS 10 CARDINALS 34

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Just like Marisa is a lil older than most top models, Favre gets done even with a lil grey in the afternoon shadow!

MINNESOTA FAVRES (+3) @ GREEN BAY PACKERS
It’s the game of week, as if ESPN has not been pounding that into your head all week. This one is actually an easy one to pick. Drop all your misconceived notions that the Pack will be playing with super emotion that will make them beat Favre. What they will be playing with is probably the worst O Line in the NFL. They can’t block for the run and they can’t stop the pass rush. Aaron Rodgers has been dumped on his head for a League leading 25 times. Even, my booze addled brain would feel some pain from that. On the other side of the ball, the Viks lead the League with 25 sacks on opposing QBs. I don’t think Berkley will ever claim Rodgers as a grad after the concussions his bound to get in this game. All Favre has to do is stick to handing off to the human truck A.P. and not let the game get him too juiced to throw. I think he knows that too. All this and you get points.

Final Score: VIKINGS 28 PACKERS 14

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Jarah wishes you a wonderful Sunday Funday Fellas!

About October 2009

This page contains all entries posted to Inside Plays in October 2009. They are listed from oldest to newest.

September 2009 is the previous archive.

November 2009 is the next archive.

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