Before we roll to Da Yeker's picks, I should tell you one thing. HAIL TO THE CHIEFS! Anytime Greggy G invests his Amsterdam money against his favorite QB (Seneca MFin Wallace), you know you should jump on board. CHIEFS MONEYLINE (+140) FOR ME!
SUNDAY FUNDAY PICKS FROM DA YEKER!
Hey playas!!! If you followed Da Yeker in Week 1 you came out with a few ducats in your pocket to put towards the purchase of a new Kia Spectra. But that’s not good enough for Da Yeker. I want make it so you can roll like a Forte father, marry the one you want and kick out kids with the ex. Here are the plays that will get you on Maury in no time.
BALTIMORE RAY RAYS @ CINNCY BENGALS (+3)
Two words: Home Dog. Those are two of the most important words for degenerates to remember. Probably, second only to “I’m wasted” from the girl next to you at a ladies night. The Ravens won an emotional one on Monday night and Batman Owens and Robin Ocho Cinco suffered a beat down at the hands of pretty, pretty Tom Brady. I guarantee Cincy used the extra day of practice to scheme up ways at the very least to keep it close to the Joe Flacco, Delaware’s finest, lead Ravens O.
Final Score: RAY RAYS 20 BENGALS 28
OMAR EPPS STEELERS @ PORN STAR STACHE TITANS (+5.5) (Ova 37)
Both teams were big winners in Week 1 with the Titans recreating against the Raiders and the Steelers playing the little engine that could against the Falcons. The Steelers are living on borrowed time with Rothliesbig@assname still suspended for….for… well being a big@sshole. Look for Chris Johnson to run all over the 3-4 the crew from the Pitt are going to try to throw up. Frick, he might get 37 on his own.
Final Score: STEELERS 14 TITANS 30
ST. LOUIS RAMS @ OAKLAND RAIDERS (OVA 38)
Yes you read that right, I am telling you to bet that both the Raiders and the Rams can put up at 38 points. Am I sniffing glue? Yes. But that’s not affecting my decision. Both teams Ds are banged up with the Rams having 6 on the Injury List and the Raiders having 7 on that same list, except in Oakland they call it “I don’t really feel like playing football this week because I play for the Raiders” List. Look for Emperor Palpatine lord over an offensive Dethstar explosion between the two teams.
Final Score: RAMS 20 RAIDERS 24
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (-3) @ NEW YORK JETS
Did you see Mark Sanchez play Monday night? Did you see Tom Brady play Sunday? All the experts I read this week said the Jets O needs to open it up this week. With Sanchez at QB, they need to add “to an @ss whupin” to the end of that advice. The Jets also lost NT Kris Jenkins who was the anchor of their defense and have been inundated with press scrutiny over Locker Room Gate. BTW, I totally believe it’s a cultural thing with the way the Mexican TV reporter Inez Sainz dressed to go into the locker room. I’m going to celebrate that tradition by wearing nothing but sombrero while watching this game on Sunday.
Final Score: PATS 40 JETS 13