NFL Archives

December 5, 2006

Weekend sports break down (1 day late)

Sorry kids, the weekend sports breakdown is a little late due to Money Mike being a little under the weather. Got sick watching J Cutler Sunday night in Denver. Anyway, I have lots to talk about so as MC Hammer would say, "lets get it started!

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December 24, 2006

Money Mike's NFL picks...Holiday Choke edition!

Oh yeah.....its the Money Mike back in this piece. My guy G Gamble has been mad mad hot in football and basketball picks the past few weeks. If you fools have not been taking his picks, then I feel sorry for you. Since GG is in the middle of a corn field some where in Iowa visiting his family and has no "dial up" connection to post any picks I am taking over the picks this week. Take notice...its gonna be alot of choking this Sunday and Monday on the gridiron. Here ya go.

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December 29, 2006

End The Year With Classic Cougar Fashion!

Well the end of the year is upon us. If you have been riding with the Cougar then 2006 has been a great year for you. If you just found the Cougar on Insideplays that is ok.... you are still 6-1 with the Cougars football picks.

There are some layup bets left on the Bowl schedule including some Cougar 5 star specials coming up around the BCS games. Let the Cougar help build your bankroll up for those games with the following picks.

With Navy's biggest win this year coming aganist Air Force you gotta go with BC here. I love this game at 6.5 but it won't be here for long. There have been a lot of covers this year in bowls. Boston College is holding teams to 15pts per game. In fact only one team this year has scored more the 21 pts on BC (BYU 23)

Who made this spread? Miami has no quality wins all year, a coach out the door, 5 new injuries, and the game is on New Year's Eve. You really think any of the Miami players care about this game? The whole team will be looking forward to getting out in time to go party and shoot people.

Not trying to take anything away from the Badgers here but they just haven't been tested enough this year. For being in the Big Ten they have had a pretty cush schedule. Arkansas on they other hand has been overacheiving all year.

Any other field and Michigan is favored by at least 4 here. This is one of my favorite games on the schedule. I feel the Wolverines have better skill players at every position on the field. They have more to play for, have more emotion AND are getting points.

That is pretty much it. I am mostly staying away from the NFL this week. Too much like a preseason week. If you have to bet it play only the games that have teams NEEDING to win. Historically those teams cover.

Speaking of... I like Green Bay this week. A win drags out the Favre era. They COugar isn't allowed to bet aganist the Bears but that doesn't mean you can't!!!

Have a happy and safe New Years,


The Coug

January 12, 2007

Money Mike's NFL Breakdown

Oh yeah......I'm back. It's Money Mike back up in this beeeatch with the NFL breakdown. I know you fools have missed me but with my guy GG is on fire with the NBA picks I decided to let him ride the wave for awhile. I'm was starting to get jealous so here I am. For you new comers that don't know about me I give winners too......but I also will be covering our segment called "The Hollywood Minute" which breaks down our famous athlete's and their extra curricular activities including movies, TV shows, girlfriends, mistresses and creep moves. Pictures are included kids so check back. Anyway...let's get to the point with this weeks NFL match-ups.

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January 14, 2007

BEARS, BEARS, BEARS...Polish Sausage!

This dude makes my Homeboy Parisi look tall!

Greggy G is having trouble concentrating on his BBall picks with a Bears playoff game around the corner. The feeling around Chi-Town has Bear fans waiting for a collapse and expecting nothing but the worst from Sexy Rexy. While I do think the Monsters of the Midway will advance to the NFC Championship, I think we’ll see Brian Griese by the 3rd quarter…and will see the Seahawks covering 9.5 points by the 4th. As for the second tilt today…

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January 21, 2007

Money Mike's NFL Brick Oven locks!!!!!!

Yeah fools.....Its Money Mike up in this piece to give you the Brick oven locks on Championship Sunday. GG is out slapping high five's with his boys at Clybar 3 hours before the game even starts, so I will give you picks also later in the article; but for now....listen to what MIke has to say.

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February 4, 2007

Money Mike's Super Bowl Pick

Bears vs. Colts -7 ...these were the good old days to Tex Mex


Oh Yeah.......its finally here. Super Bowl XLI! I can't wait to see somebody pouting in the post game press conference. For the past two weeks people have been asking me "what's your pick Money Mike"? Well I'm here to break it all down for you and tell our Chicago fan base why you should queue up the 80's favorite "The Bad news Bears" starring William Devane in the latest sequel.

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August 3, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 79-52.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

As I rolled off of my chinchilla-fur comforter this morning and Ickey-Shuffled my way into the kitchen for a can of Tecate w/ a lime (remember that Vitamin C kids) and some Venison Jerky, I accidentally happened upon a calendar my girl had on the fridge. First off, I apologize fellaz…I didn’t know it was August. My dumb-azz is ranting and raving about the professional diamond and the off-season NBA transactions when I should be discussing the real American pastime…the Gridiron. So with that, I give you some quick pigskin notes to feed your appetite.

Word to the wise, if you have a reconstructed knee…maybe you shouldn’t sign a 1-year deal with an O-Line that’s nickname is “The Turnstiles”!

This is going to be an ugly, ugly season for Mr. Vicodin. I guarantee he cries at least three times at the post-game podium and throws twice as many picks as tuddies this year. If he starts every game for the Pack, I promise to throw away my Golden St. Warriors Zubaz…after I wear them for my Super Bowl party!

While most Fantasy Footballers will be eyeing the former Thunder Herd WR, I’m expecting better years from both Donte’ Stallworth and Wes Welker in New England. Randy’s aging faster than Ray Liotta and I expect to see him standing next to a heater nursing a pulled finger-nail as the weather gets icy-cold in Foxborough.

I’m not joking fellaz…everyday I read or hear how great Mr. Orton’s body looks in training camp. While I’m not gay (except on the 2nd Thursday of the month), I can’t help but picture Orton in a bathing suit every time he drops back to pass.

The Rams defense is going to be horrific this season, which is great if you have Holt, Bruce, Jackson, Bulger, or the OVA.

Finally, quickly to the NBA, I was in the process of writing-up some break-out performers for the up-coming season, and was just starting to talk-up F/C Andray Blatche when I read he was arrested for soliciting sex to an undercover cop yesterday. Once again, I don’t understand professional athletes. Blatche, a free-agent, was being courting by his former team the Washington Wizards, and reports are he had been offered a 5-year 12.5 million dollar contract. Andray…your telling me there on no groupies, let alone regular girls, that are willing to jingle the jewelry of a potential millionaire? But wait…the best part of this story can be found in a quote from an NBA veteran in the Washington Post about the situation:

"Dude was about to sign a contract for millions and he got arrested for that? That's stupid! Everyone knows you aren't supposed to be out like that when a contract is getting done."

So the NBA vet is saying is O.K. to pull a Hugh Grant as long as you’ve already signed the contract…that’s frickin’ hilarious! Have a great weekend boys and remember to take your Milk Thistle.

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August 7, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 82-55.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Tough one for the Cubbies, but I told you Wandy Rodriquez looks like Les Lancaster at home…simply filthy! While Rich Hill looked nice, the line-up doesn’t without Alfonso in the mix and I won’t stop harping on the Cubbies for not grabbin’ Griffey Jr. when they had a chance. But enough diamond notes, you can read my picks and pics later, because right-now we need to start looking at some Fantasy Football action. Just like my Sunday School Teacher taught me, the only thing better than bettin’ on football is having three players from your fantasy squad on the team you’re betting on! So let’s take a quick peak at Greggy G’s 2007 Fantasy RBs Movin-up and Movin’-down:


Projected RB rank: 27th
Greggy G RB rank: 16th

After a solid rookie season (1178 rush yards, 6 TDs), the Cadillac took a dive along with the rest of the Bucs last season rushing for under 800 yards and only scoring 1 TD. While injuries played a roll, the biggest reason for his lack of success was Tampa Bay’s inabilities to keep the chains moving. With QB Jeff Garcia is ready to prove he’s still got game (and doesn’t like to land on the end zone pylon azz-first), I have a feeling we’ll see why the Auburn Tiger was considered by many organization as the top RB in the 2005. In addition, just like you saw in Philly with Brian Westbrook, Garcia’s mobility should enable Cadillac to become a bigger threat catching the ball out of the backfield. Reading the press reports, it sounds like Gruden agrees and wants to keep him on the field for as many downs as possible.

Projected RB rank: 23rd
Greggy G RB rank: 17th

Obviously, everybody has Norwood as a sleeper this year, but I think he’s going to be even better than expected. With Warrick Dunn out for the first 6 weeks of the season and Joey Harrington taking ova for Ronny Mex, you think Norwood’s gonna get a nice opportunity? While Jerious’s ridiculous 6.4 rushing average had something to do with an extra LB shadowing the Dog-lovin’ scrambler, his lighting quick agility and pass-catching ability make him a perfect fit for the Georgia Dome turf. Especially with a RB depth chart that looks like an Arena roster and WRs that have trouble catching the ball, Norwood has no choice but to be the focal point of the offense.


Projected RB rank: 3rd
Greggy G RB rank: 7th

LJ’s holdout aside, I think the Chiefs’ offense is going to struggle all season. Anytime you open the season with one of the Huard brothers as your starting QB and a go-to 34-year old WR named Eddie, you think teams fear your passing attack? In addition, the vaunted KC Offensive Line has seen retirement and injuries take a toll, while starting TE Tony Gonzalez will never be know as extra offensive lineman. Finally, LJ rushed the rock over 400 times last year, and can’t be in the same kind of shape working-out away from training camp. While I don’t doubt his ability and the fact that he’ll eventually be playing on Sundays, I really doubt his situation and his attitude if things go south.

Projected RB rank: 15th
Greggy G RB rank: 20th

While nobody knew how well Reggie and Deuce would play together in 06-07, I do not expect the same kind of breakdown in workload this season. After suffering a major knee injury in 2005, Deuce looked solid last season, but had some minor surgery this past February to clean-up the knee. While reports have him looking good in camp, with his running-style, off-n-on weight issues, and the magic found in Bush’s feet, I can’t see how McAllister breaks the 1000-yard barrier this season. He barley accomplished the feat last year (1057 rush yards), and that was with Bush showing-up to camp late and as a rook.

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August 8, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 84-55.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Yes, Barry Bonds is the best player I’ve seen during the steroid-era and deserves props for not hiding behind the DH and playing the field at his age. A ridiculous amount of players took more than Flintstone Vitamins during the 90s, the balls were juiced, and the mound was shaved down, so no, the numbers during this era don’t mean as much to me. Of course there’s an asterisk next Barry’s record in my mind, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put your head-in-the-sand and celebrate his scientifically-aided accomplishments. Do you really think he breaks Hank Aaron’s record without Flaxseed Oil? If you do, you should hire Britany Spears as a tutor!

Also, did you see the fake lil' scuffle between A-Rod and the Blue Jays last night? First off, kudos to Josh Towers for hitting Rodriguez last night for an overdue retaliation for the bush-league play he made against Toronto earlier in the year. A-Rod should have taken the punishment like a man instead of acting like a tough-guy and glaring at the mound from 1st base like he’s a prize-fighter or something. The pretty-boy didn’t want to fight and knew there was no-way it would ever get to that, so he decided to act like a prima–donna and yell over someone’s shoulder. And finally, while I hate Roger Clemens more than Tofu, nobody hits somebody square in the back like the Rocket. Even at 52, he’s intimidating and as competitive as they come.

Alrighty-then, enough diamond chatter, time to rollback to the Gridiron for Greggy G’s 2007 Fantasy WRs Movin-up and Movin’-down:


Projected WR rank: 11th
Greggy G WR rank: 6th

Originally known as simply a speedster who could flat-out blow by anybody, Evans has worked unbelievable hard at becoming a great all-around WR. He blew-up last year in only his 3rd year (82 catches, 1292 yards, & 8 TDs) and has established a remarkable rapport with the improving J.P. Losman. Remarkably, in Evans first two years (48 catches each season), he also averaged 8 TDs per season, so you have to think last year’s TD totals were a little low considering his production. While defenses will continue to double-up on the former Badger until the Bills find another receiving mate, I have a feeling he’s just scratching the surface of his potential…Mark him down for at least 1300 yards and 10 TDs!

Projected WR rank: 28th
Greggy G WR rank: 18th

The Seahawks are paying the undersized WR superstar money, which led to their leading WR Darrell Jackson finding his paper in San Fran this off-season. Jackson pulled-in ova 60 catches, nearly 1000 yards, and a whopping 10 TDs last season, which bodes well for Mr. Branch considering they didn’t really up-grade at that position. After holding out in New England last year, Branch was traded to Seattle after training camp and never really seemed to find a rhythm with the offense. Reports have him desperately wanted to prove he was worth the investment so expect him to come flying out of the gates this season. With QB Hasselbeck’s remarkable accuracy and Branch’s quickness & route-running skills, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him catch 75-85 balls. While his TD totals will never be sky-high, he’s a lock for at least 60-80 yards every single game.


Projected WR rank: 8th
Greggy G WR rank: 14th

This is the year 32-year-old ova-achiever comes back to earth. After 3 straight seasons of at least 84 catches and 1200 yards, Driver no-longer has a QB that can thread the needle like he once could. I’m not hatin’ on the legendary signal-caller, but I just think without a running game and a young line the pain-killer kid may wish he retired last year. With Greg Jennings emerging as a top-flight possession WR, Driver’s catches should drop into the 60s and I can’t see him outracing many of the young secondarys anymore. While he’s a gamer and always had a great rapport with Favre, I just don’t see how you win your league with him as your #1 WR.

Projected WR rank: 21nd
Greggy G WR rank: 32nd

After 7 years in the league, the undersized Moss is starting to show some major wear-n-tear. Never minds that the Skins’ offense has been non-existent the last few years or that they have a green QB in Jason Campbell, I just don’t see Moss (55 catches, 790 yards, 6 TDs) spending more than 10 games on the field this season. While he’ll always have a few big plays per season, I’m of the mindset where I’d rather have 6-10 points every week, instead of Moss’s weekly numbers…4pts, 3pts, 15 pts, 2pts, etc. Tough to see a guy drop this far who had a huge season only two years ago (84 catches, 1483 yards, & 9 TDs), but I just call them as I see ‘em fellaz!

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August 10, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 86-7.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Before I get to my Fantasy Football analysis and investment strategies for the diamond, for the first time in a long-time, I’d like to give a sincere salutation to a professional athlete…not too bad Mr. Ankiel! After watching the young pitching phenom deal with a mental breakdown in the 2000 playoffs and continue to throw with as much accuracy as Chuck Knoblauch at 2nd ova the next 3 years, it was remarkable to see the converted outfielder hit a 3-run home run in his first Major League action since 2004. While I wasn’t as emotional as I was for the 90210 series finale or Spud Webb’s retirement, I have to say it was awesome to see him head to dugout and watch as his teammates/coaches/fans acted as though he’d just won the World Series. Congrats Rick, you the shiznit.

With that, I give you my Fantasy QBs Movin’-up and Movin-down, followed by a baseball pick that will make my Cubbie fans proud. Have a great weekend and don’t forget to pull-out the “Straight off the boat and on my lap Asians” DVD before your girl tries to throw-in She’s All That with her girlfriend…man am I stupid!


Projected QB rank: 13th
Greggy G QB rank: 6th

In Jonny K’s 1st season in Mo-Town, the 34-year old threw for 4,200 yards and 21 TDs…and 22 Ints (damn!). While many of those picks were thrown in desperate 2nd half comeback attempts, Kitna’s convinced another year with his WRs and the offense will only improve his efficiency (67% completion…not too frickin’ shabby!). Not to mention, the Lions added a game-breaker in Calvin Johnson who may the best WR prospect I've ever seen. With Roy Williams on one side, the Georgia Tech rook on the other, and Mike Furrey catching everything underneath like Tommy Waddle on speed, don’t be fooled when Kitna throws for 4,600 yards and 25 Tuddies.

Projected QB rank: 11th
Greggy G QB rank: 7th

If you extrapolate (sounds like some type of Ronny Mex dog-torture device) Tony Ro’s numbers over a full season, the former pipe-layer of Carrie Underwood (sexiest legs in the world) would have thrown for ova 4,000 yards and +/-28 TDs. Also, considering TO dropped more balls than the “Queer-Eye for the Straight-Guy” fellaz and Jason Witten had a down year, those numbers could actually have been a lot higher. Throw-in a much more relaxed atmosphere with everybody’s favorite coach/uncle Wade Phillips and a full training camp of 1st-team snaps, and we could see Tony in the Top-5 for QB fantasy points this year.


Projected QB Rank: 7th
Greggy G Rank: 13th

Even Hasselbeck's famous wife would agree Matt had a sub-par performance last year (19th in Passing Rating/25th in Comp%) and that was with his favorite target WR Darrell Jackson in-town. Now that Jackson’s off to San Fran and Shaun Alexander has vowed to recapture the rushing-crown, you think we'll see 2 or 3 TDs every week? In addition, the 31-year old moves like a 41-year old and seems nervous in the pocket ever since the best guard in the league (Steve Hutchinson) left for the Viqueens. And finally, Greggy G Fantasy Rule #35b: Never draft a QB who has a back-up that’s faster than Flo-Jo, cooler than Chris Tucker, and a former Cyclone. Yeah, I’m talking about the roll-out master Seneca Wallace Homeboys!

Projected QB Rank: 11th
Greggy G QB Rank: 17th

Is it me, or does it look like Eli would rather be anywhere else in the world than managing the gridiron on Sunday. Seriously, he looks more nervous than my azz after peeing in a cup and doesn’t seem to have any support from his peers in the huddle. Throw-in the fact that Tiki’s gone, Plaxico & Shockey act like lil beeatches, and coach Tom Coughlin is a few games from being fired, this season could be a complete disaster. Especially if the G-men get off a slow start, New Yorkers will be all over the sensitive lil brother of Peyton, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Coughlin looked at the guy holding a clipboard (Anthony Wright) to desperately save his job. Maybe I’m wrong, but as my record shows, that’s only about 30% of the time!

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August 14, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 93-62.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

What do you know, another 2 out of 3 on the ATS diamond and I’m now 30 games ova .500…what can I say, I was put on earth to improve liquor sales and the number of dollar bills in my Homeboy's pockets. And speaking of making money, who wants some Fantasy help? After winning 2 out of 3 leagues last year (Yes, Moose Knuckle members you’ve had my number lately, but you better watch your back like Lance Bass this season), it’s time to pass on some knowledge to help you win the fantasy dinero…that you’ll eventually lose betting on the coin-toss or those stupid-squares during the Super Bowl. It’s time for my Fantasy RB Breakdown; feel free to thank me once you’ve captured your first crown!

1. The quietest performance last season for a top RB was displayed by Travis Henry in Tennessee (1,211 rush. yards, 7 TDs). After carrying the ball only 30 times in the first 4 games, the former Bill was remarkable ova the rest of the season and finished with a 4.5 rushing clip and only dropping the ball on the grass 3 times (only one of those was recovered by the opponent). Throw him into the dominating running attack in Denver and I predict he’ll eclipse his best season in Buffalo (’02: 1747 total yards, 14 TDs). While most publications have him ranked between 12-15 for RBs, Greggy G’s yellow notepad has him easily in the top-10.

2. I don’t know why, but Cedric Benson scares me more then being unable to find the 3rd disk of the “Hoes, Toes, & Tiny Holes” 5-disk set the day before my girl’s back from vacation. While every indication is that the Bears’ veteran line will make him like look the luxury-model of Thomas Jones, I’m skeptical of his ability to stay healthy and not piss-off the entire team. I know the Bears really have nobody behind him to steal carries, but something about Benson makes me more skeptical than the ladies who see that New York Yankee late night at the club!

3. Trust me, do not buy the Brandon Jacobs hype in New York with Tiki retired. Jacobs was a TD machine last year (1 almost every 10 carries), but that was because Tiki got his azz to goaline everytime. I fully expect Reuben Droughns to split-time with the 260 lb. battling-ram from Southern Illinois, and can’t see how he’s even worth a glance until 25 other RBs are off the board. As for the theory you should draft both Droughns and Jacobs, feel free to do that in my league and watch as I beeatch-slap you like Nolan Ryan beat-down Robin Ventura. Overall, I wouldn’t touch anybody on the Gaints…they’re going to suck worse than those teeth-draggers!

4. While most experts will tell you Willis McGahee’s move to Billick’s smash-mouth style in Baltimore will help, Greggy G knows the Ravens O-Line is not what it used to be. In addition, after recovering from one of the worst knee injuries I’ve ever seen, the former Hurricane has logged almost 900 carries in his first three seasons. While I hope he proves me wrong, I can’t see how he makes it throw the season unscathed. The fantasy guru’s have him between 10 and 13 for RBs, but if you’re smart like me…don’t even take a look until 16 or 17.

5. After almost 1700 rush/rec yards and 16 Tds last year, Fast Willie Parker seems determined to prove he’s a premier workhorse in the league and has shown a dedication and leadership in camp that should get potential owners excited. While many experts feel the new staff will try to lessen the load with Kevan Barlow and Najah “poop in the closet” Davenport and are concerned with some knee-swelling in camp, I believe Coach Tomlin is simply resting the unheralded superstar for another 300-plus carry season. The O-Line should be dominate again this season and you have to think they’ll want to keep the punching-bag known as Big Ben a little more conservative this season.

6. You guys want a super-sleeper, and no, it’s not Chris “I’m late again” Duhon! I’m talking about Tony Hunt in Philadelphia. With Brian Westbrook & Correll Buckhalter’s knees continuing to give them trouble and 3rd down specialist Ryan Moats already out for the year, I have a feeling we’ll see the Penn State rookie plenty this season. He’s impressed the coaches in camp with his ability to hit the hole, has the size to compliment the powerful O-Line, and will see plenty of practice time throughout the season with the other RBs on the shelf. Especially after seein Donovan go down the last few years, you think Andy Reid might put a little more attention on the ground attack.

Hope this help fellaz and I’ll be back tomorrow with my WR notes. Enjoy my baseball picks and make sure to tell your fantasy league members to check out…but after your draft of course!

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August 15, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 94-64.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

It’s a depressing morning in Chi-Town, and not because Zambrano looked like someone stole his lunchbox or the White Sox looked like someone stole their “How to play baseball for Dummies” handbook, but because Smoke Daddy Softball was eliminated from the playoffs in a hard-fought 1-run battle. While we gave more effort than former Poison star Brett Michaels does pretending he’s still a relevant rocker, the rumor of the ump knowing Tim Donaghy's barber and the 2nd basemen was too much to overcome. Oh well, at least I got 2 hits in the last game of my contract year…because I live by the Roger Clemens motto: It’s not about how many you win, it’s about how much you make!

As for today, I have some important fantasy football news for ya. I know most leagues have 10 or 12 players, but if you don’t grab one of the 7 QBs listed below, you’ll be sitting at home like Latrell Sprewell when the playoffs come around. With that, here are Greggy G’s Seven Signal-Callers of Supreme Significance:

1. PEYTON MANNING (so-called Expert Rank: 1)
06-07: 4397 yards, 31 TDs 9 INTs
No QB warrants a top-8 pick overall besides Peyton Manning & Seneca Wallace, and I’d even consider taking Eli’s brother with the 4th or 5th. Seemingly a lock to play all 16 games and throw at least 2 TDs and 250 yards each contest, it’s an unbelievable luxury to have Peyton’s consistency week-in and week-out. Especially with a running game that lost a major contributor in Dominic Rhodes, I expect Peyton’s #s to be even better this year.

2. CARSON PALMER (so called Expert Rank: 2)
06-07: 4035 yards, 28 TDs 13 INTs
I was extremely tempted to take Marc Bulger here, but you have to assume Palmer will be even better a full-year removed from knee surgery. In addition, the Bengal backfield has suffered some major injuries behind Rudi Johnson, so expect the former Trojan to throw it even more this season. As for the defense, it’s easier to move on the Bengals than it will be to movepast Paul Pierce & Ray Allen of the Boston Celtics. Marv Lewis’s squad gave-up the 3rd most yards per game in the NFL last year and doesn’t look all that improved on the defensive side...which is bad for him, but good for Palmer owners.

3. MARC BULGER (so called Expert Rank: 5)
06-07: 4301 yards, 24 TDs 8 INTs
Another team whose defense looks awful, Bulger will be forced to score more than NBA groupie on All-star weekend. Only Brett Favre & Jon Kitna threw more passes last season, and no reason to think he won’t be near the top again this year. In addition, with Stephen Jackson continuing to command more attention than the Olsen Twins, Bulger will have plenty of down-field opportunities and single coverage. The Rams added deep-threat Drew Bennett to complement Bruce & Holt at WRm while Randy McMichael gives Bulger his first playmaker at the TE position in years.

4. DREW BREES (so called Expert Rank: 3)
06-07: 4418 yards, 26 TDs 11 INTs
What a dream season for the undersized former Charger. Throw-in another year of experience with his WRs and Reggie Bush’s development, and Brees should continue his video-game style offensive dominance. While Coach Sean Payton is not going to turn into Herm Edwards overnight, I do expect the Saints to run the ball even more this season with teams more prepared for the Saints spread-offense. Still a lock for the Top-5, I’m guessing you may see his yardage creep closer to 4000 this year.

5. JON KITNA (so called Expert Rank: 13)
06-07: 4208 yards, 21 TDs 22 INTs
It’s like the former NFL Europe MVP was granted a dream from the “Make a Wish Foundation” at age 34. The former Central Washington University star already had the two WRs with ridiculous numbers last year (Roy Williams & Mike Furrey combined for 180 catches, 2400 yards) and the Lions added the most dominate WR prospect I’ve ever seen in Calvin Johnson. Throw-in a Martz favorite from St. Louis in Shaun McDonald and a running game that continues to be inconsistent, and you’ll see the Private Pyle look-alike tossing the pigskin even more than last season.

6. TONY ROMO (so called Expert Rank: 10)
06-07: (11 starts) 2903 yards, 19 TDs 13 INTs
If you extrapolate (sounds like some type of Ronny Mex dog-torture device) Tony Ro’s numbers over a full season, the former pipe-layer of Carrie Underwood (sexiest legs in the world) would have thrown for ova 4,000 yards and +/-28 TDs. Also, considering TO dropped more balls than the “Queer-Eye for the Straight-Guy” fellaz and Jason Witten had a down year, those numbers could actually have been a lot higher. Throw-in a much more relaxed atmosphere with everybody’s favorite coach/uncle Wade Phillips and a full training camp of 1st-team snaps, and we could see Tony in the Top-5 for QB fantasy points this year.

7. TOM BRADY (so called Expert Rank: 4)
06-07: 3529 yards, 24 TDs 12 INTs
For the first time in his fantasy world, the golden-child known as Tom Brady has a ‘lil stress in his life. While dating supermodels is a stress most are willing to deal with, when you’re rich and have your first child with someone other than the one your currently dating…I’m guessing you have some new drama to deal with. Also, I think the addition of Randy Moss is extremely ova-rated and believe that Belichick will put a much higher emphasis on Laurence Maroney and the running game this season. While an extremely efficient QB who may have another chance at a Super Bowl this year, Brady has only thrown for ova 4000 yards only once and has seen his TD #s decline the past three seasons.

That’s all of them boys…don’t be a fool and think you grab another one later…it’s a Greggy G Guarantee. Enjoy my picks and pics and make to sure to check back tomorrow for more debauchery and sports knowledge from your favorite degenerate Polack!

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August 17, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 96-66.5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

First off, congrats to the Cubbies for signing Big Z (5 years, 91.5 million). A remarkable pitcher when his panties aren’t in a bunch, and even when he struggles, you never now if he’s going to bitch-slap a teammate or break a bat ova his knee…now that’s what I call entertainment! As for Ronny Mex, I bet his shuttle-time from the toilet to his cot will break all kinds of records at the penitentiary. And how about the NBA’s finest Tim Donaghy facing more and more charges, what can I tell ya Timmy…you look more like a catcher than pitcher to me! Anyway, before I roll, I have a few Fantasy notes for ya. I know I promised I’d finish my Sexy Subtle Steals for the draft, but unfortunately, you can trust me as much as you can trust a women’s bball coach not to go diving with her players! With that, here is my FF players I wouldn’t touch with Flavor Flav’s magic stick:

I just don’t see much big-play potential in Rivers, not to mention, his WRing crop looks like an Arena League roster. I know the Lighting Bolts’ dominating run game opens-up the secondary and Antonio Gates is the best TE in the game, but with a new coach and the loss of speedy WR Eric Parker for 10 weeks…I’m not too excited about Philip’s fantasy numbers.

I’m a huge fan of the Chicago native, but he’s had some big injuries of late and I expect Andy Reid to be a little more conservative with the Pro Bowler this season. It’s also going to take Donovan a few weeks to get comfortable with his knee, and just like Philip Rivers, I’m not too impressed with his collection of WRs

Jones-Drew’s emergence last season actually gave Fred Taylor the opportunity to stay fresh and enabled him to have the best rushing average of his career (5.0), so don't be suprised if continues to grab 20 carries a game. While Jones-Drew caught everybody by surprise last year and was remarkable at finding the end-zone late in the year, it’s tough to think he’ll duplicate those totals...and I just can’t get myself to invest in a 5’7” tailback.

You want this head-case…be my guest. Besides that fact that Eli isn’t any good, Burress has been hobbled by an ankle injury in training camp and still drops way too many balls. More importantly, Burress struggled with his concentration even when the game's mattered, and I have a feeling the Giants will be out of the playoff race by mid-October this year.

REX GROSSMAN – (QB Rank #25)
Do you like drafting players that are short, have small hands, and can’t move very fast…well, only if I’m drafting off a boat that’s carrying Asian wives!

AHMAN GREEN – (RB Rank #22)
Maybe he proves me wrong, but I think the former Husker’s game is falling faster than Michael Vick’s friendships. Especially with a team that has so many new faces at the skill positions, a young O-Line, a new coach, and RB Ron Dayne ldetermined to prove he’s not a bust…no chance he’s even given a back-up spot on Greggy G’s squad.

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August 20, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB & Pigskin Picks: 99-68.5 For Entertainment Purposes Only!

While preseason football rarely excites me with all the Reality TV/soft-core porn on VH1 and E!, tonight is definitely the exception. With a Super Bowl rematch between Da Bears and the Horseshoes, I can’t wait to have a bloody beer and watch as Lovie’s boys easily cover the spread. While it’s rarity for me to invest my girl’s hard-earned dollars on the preseason, tonight’s contest lines-up more perfectly than Brook Burke’s silhouette against a sun-set. GM Jerry Angelo has built a deep roster with great draft picks and reasonably priced FAs who always seen to fighting to move-up the depth chart. Throw-in an awesome back-up QB battle between Brian “I wasn’t drunk, I tripped ova my dogs” Griese and the new and improved Kyle “Google Pictures” Orton, and we should see Kevin Butler’s ole squad pull-away in the 2nd half. While I’ll probably never play against Peyton during the regular season, the Colts lack of depth and lousy back-up signal-callers (Jim Sorgi & Josh Betts) make this an easy way for me to start the season 1-0 ATS.

Finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t give the Cubbie Faithful a shout-out. I love watching Tony LaRussa lose and I love watching Wrigleyville drunks during a pennant race. As for my White Sox, I just don’t understand what the hell their doing. We’re an absolute embarrassment, have a farm system that’s more watered down than backend of an NBA roster, and they just signed 38 year-old LHP Mike Myers to stabilize the bullpen. Are you kidding me, I know our bullpen sucks, but why the hell would Kenny Williams want to steal innings from our youngsters…is he really that desperate to make sure we finish ahead of the Royals! And while I’m a fan of Jermaine Dye, 11 million a year for a guy who’s 33 going on 43 and hitting .242…as Hawk Harrelson would say: SSSTTRREETTCCHHH!

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August 22, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 101-68.5 ATS Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Picks: 1-0 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

My fantasy knowledge screams of a football genius!

Can the week start off any sweeter…3-0 in baseball, 1-0 in football, and I have my first fantasy draft of the season. The only one having a better week may be R. Kelly’s attorneys! I mean we just heard about Ronny Mex’s doggie dog world and a potential plea-deal has already been reached. Mr. “I believe I can Make it Rain on your Head” is accused of lewd acts with a minor on a video-tape, but the chick is now 46 years-old and claiming it’s not even her…yeah, that sound like an iron-clad case…looks like Bad Newz Kennels hired the wrong legal team!

Eli just doesn't have the communication skills!

And how about news that pretty-boy Tiki is taking shots at ugly-boy Eli about his lack of leadership in the huddle…shiznit Eli, everybody knows Tim Hardaway could MC the Gay-Pride Parade better than your azz can convince Plaxico and Shockey to listen-up! But enough about a guy who shouldn’t get drafted unless you play in 66 team Fantasy league, today is the first day I defend my title in the Bowl O’ Dicks league. Since I only suffered one loss last year (and that had something to do with a certain NBA ref), I think it’s only fair to give my fellow opponents a little help in their fantasy selections tonight. With that, I give you Greggy G’s back-ups for the 2007-08 season you must consider…

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August 23, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 102-69.5 ATS Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Picks: 1-0 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

After a nice 4-hour beer, pizza, & nicotine fantasy festival at my homeboy’s bar, I’m more ready for opening day than Mark Grace was for a game’s conclusion so he could chase around 21-year old DePaul students. While trash-talking is all part of draft-day, the lack of injuries you sustain during the season is really the only time you should be acting like Smokey from Friday. As for the biggest rousing I received, (besides the normal: “Greg Gamble’s a fag…and, get a god-damn editor!) was for my 3rd pick of Tony Romo with Tom Brady still on the board. Listen-up people, including all the last place finishers in my league last year, in Tony Romo’s 1st season of throwing a pigskin in a real NFL game he averaged 265 yards and 1.6 TDs per start. You know what the one talented Manning brother averaged…274 yards and 1.9 TDs per start. So after a full-training camp with the 1st team and loads of playmakers all returning, you’re telling me he’s not going to improve? Don’t quit your day-jobs homeboys…well, unless you’re the Baltimore Orioles pitching coach!

Just way too young

Now before I give you my Fantasy No-No’s (players I wouldn’t touch with Poison frontman Bret Michael’s wang…I heard he lost the other “t” in his first name to scabbies!) I’d like to give a heart-felt thought on the tragic passing of 25-year-old Eddie Griffin. The former T-Wolves/Rockets/Seton Hall forward lived with more demons in his head than one could imagine, but was one of the most amazing collegiate talents I’ve ever seen. Check out the 6-10 forward’s numbers as a freshman: 17.8 ppg, 10.8 rpg, 4.4 bpg, and 41 3-pointers. Maybe the demons made life too hard to keep going and he couldn't say no, or maybe next time organizations, college programs, and AAU leeches can do a better job of making sure they kill those damn demons!

With that, I know most of you are here for my Sporting-wit and not my NBA eulogies, so without further ado…I give you my FANTASY FOOTBALL NO-NO’S and Baseball ATS winners…

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August 24, 2007

Money Mike's Fantasy breakdown and daily Picks

Oh yeah professionals and amateurs…it’s Money Mike back from a long vacation ready to get this NFL season going! Hope everybody had a great summer and ready to make some money! Mad love to my boy GG for holding it down while I was gone. He has been doing a great job. One other thing I would like to mention before I get to the picks for the day……..the founders of are in the process of ramping up things and bringing you more great info to this site in the coming months so continue to tell your homeboys and homegirls about us so we can make this site bigger than ebay!

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August 25, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 104-69.5 ATS Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Winners: 1-0 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

Investing on the Pre-season comes down to who has more depth at QB and who can handle playing with a 3rd-team offensive line...

Sorry for leaving you without my picks & pics Friday, but the boss was a little insistent on my actually getting a deadline completed on time…crazy I tell ya! Today, my brother’s in-town so I’m off to enjoy the day with taller, smarter, and cooler version of me…Enjoy the weekend Homeboys!

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August 29, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 106–72.5 ATS

*Greggy G’s 2007 Pigskin Picks: 2-0 ATS

College Football is just around the corner and I’m more excited than Tommy Lee with a fresh batch o’ Penicillin. We’re talking about 7 games on Thursday, including my alma mater Iowa “JUCO-Central” State, and a full-docket of action on Saturday. Just opening my USA Today to the daily lines I lost it faster than my 1st time on a twin bed just below my Spud Webb poster. While the diamond and hardwood have been fun (and more profitable than buying ankle-bracelet stock in Hollywood), I was born and raised investing my lunch money on the pigskin so make sure to check-in tomorrow and Friday for my College Football extravaganza! As for today, I promised a couple fellaz I’d have some Tight End analysis that would make a republican senator proud...

But before we get to that, I need to quickly address the Lance Briggs saga. In his statement yesterday, he said after the accident he ran from the scene, called a tow-truck, called 911 to report his car stolen, and then called back to admit crashing the vehicle because he realized he needed to own-up to his mistake. Which mistake Lance…crashing the car or realizing your story sucked? WHO CALLS A GOD-DAMN TOW-TRUCK AND THEN CALLS TO REPORT THEIR CAR STOLEN…Too funny, too FRICKIN’ funny! (BTW, did you read Monday's article...I told ya Jacque Jones would be the man!)

If you don’t have one of the Top-7…you ain’t going to Sizzler!

05-06: 71 rec 924 yards 9 TDs
The former Kent State power forward saw his numbers drop from the previous 2 seasons, but that was more because he was just beginning to establish a rapport with 1st year starter Philip Rivers. Do you think Kobe Tai could spin-around without gettin-off during her rookie campaign…I think not. Especially in the red-zone with teams forced to shadow LT, this could be a record-breaking year for the freakish TE and I wouldn’t hesitate taking him in Round 4.

05-06: 73 rec 765 yards 6 TDs
Call me Alonzo Spellman (aka Crazy) for not taking Tony Gonzalez, but Heap had more catches than Gates and more Tuddies than Gonzo last season. Especially since this occurred under Air McNair’s first year, no reason to think he won’t improve on each of those totals. Also, reports are that the former Sun Devil has never been healthier, while the aging vet in KC has been hobbled by a knee injury.

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September 6, 2007

Money Mike's NFL picks

It's gonna be short and sweet today fellas. Greg Gamble is out of town today for a funeral so I'm stepping in to give you the winners for the night. With an NFL game tonight and the defending Super Bowl champions getting their rings we gotta give you some analysis on that!

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September 9, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s Pigskin Picks: 8-5 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!!!

Greggy G’s 2007 College Football Record: 5-4 ATS
Greggy G’s 2007 NFL (Preseason) Record: 3-1 ATS

While I’m a fan of Coach Del Rio’s move to David Garrard, I don’t think he’ll be looking like Joe Montana in his opening season debut as the Jag’s #1. Obviously, Jacksonville will be running the ball 70% of the time today and should find success against a make-shift DL for the Titans, but I expect them eat plenty of clock and settle for more FGs than they’d like. While the Titans offense is still looking for a playmaker in the backfield or at WR, QB Vince Young is such a sneaky and crafty signal-caller I expect him to keep drives alive on the rollout pass or simply running for a the 1st-down. His size and deceptive speed make him the toughest QB in the NFL to corral and he’s also shown this preseason that his arm is not just adequate, but accurate and strong. I like the Jags to win this, but expect a gutsy performance from the Titans and Mr. Young…trust me, you won’t see many more 7-point spreads from a Vince Young led team from here on out…Jax by a FG

Considering that in one of my fantasy leagues I have Bulger, S-Jax, & Jeff Wilkens…I’m thinkin’ the Rams are going to be puttin’-up points all season. While the Panthers D is always tough, their much better on grass and should struggle to contain all the Rams playmakers. Especially newcomers TE Randy McMichael and PR/KR/WR Dante Hall, I expect Marc Bulger to light-up a somewhat over aggressive secondary. As for the Panthers side of the ball, besides Steve Smith, I don’t see enough playmakers to get them into the 30s…where I believe the Rams will be most of the season…Rams by 4-7 points

The Pack running game has been hit or miss this preseason , while an abundance of nicked-up backs have led to rookie Brandon Jackson being forced to learn on the fly. While Favre is still dangerous, a hobbled Driver on one side and a cast of youngsters on the other should take Mr. Vicodin a few weeks to get comfortable. Also, expect the normally blitz happy defense of Coach Johnson to force Brett to throw a few of his trademark picks. While the Packers defense has been billed as one of the toughest this season, I luv how McNabb spreads the ball around and how RB Brian Westbrook seems to always find a vacant spot in the D on each possession. Finally, the addition of WR Kevin Curtis could be one of the quietest moves this off-season for the Eagles and I expect him to have at least three 1st down catches today…Eagles by a TD

Teasin’ T-Bone’s 2007 College Record: 3-0-1 ATS 0-2 Teasers
Teasin’ T-Bone’s 2007 NFL Record: 0-0 ATS 0-0 Teasers

Denver Broncos -3 @ Buffalo Bills

It’s never fun to open up the season on the road in the NFL, but the Broncs have the firepower this year to make it happen. Marshawn Lynch will get his first dose of 4 quarters in the NFL and the boys that live a mile high will simply have him confused with the front seven all day long. Losman doesn’t have enough ability to carry a team through the air, and didn’t have to in ’06 with Henry, who by the way is on the other sideline for this game. Cutler, Walker, Stokley, and Henry will be enough to keep the Bills spread out all day long. A good friend of mine likes Hawkeyes and Horsies, so it’s tough to go against this one. Denver by 10.

Carolina Panthers @ St. Louis Rams -2

Okay, I’m getting sick of the Rams, but when it comes to coin you can’t go away from them on week 1. They are going to score a lot this year with an improving Stephen Jackson, and the Panthers have four defensive players that don’t look to play at full strength already in week one. I can’t find a player on the Panthers offense that can keep this one close, and quarterback controversy will begin early as Carr will most likely get some playing time this week. Nothing like going into the first game with the whole Panthers O saying ‘who’s my leader’??? Rams give up some points, but win by 8.


New England Patriots teased down to -.5 @ New York Jets

I almost put the the Pats as an ATS pick, but this rivalry is getting more heated each time the two meet. The Brady bunch have won 8 of the last 9 and will continue that today, but with Mangini and playing at home, the Jets won’t lose by much.

Tampa Bay Bucs @ Seattle Seahawks teased down to EVEN

With Shaun Alexander back to full strength we finally get the Seahawks of ’05 back in action, and that spells bad news for the Bucs who have tried more quarterbacks in recent years than Greggy G’s special brew flavors. Hasselbeck is 16-3 at home the last two years, enough said.

September 10, 2007

Home of Greg Gamble's Pigskin Picks: 9-7 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

* Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 109-80 ATS
* Greggy G’s College Football Picks: 5-4 ATS
* Greggy G’s NFL Picks: 4-3 ATS

Since my Pigskin Picks this weekend were far from stellar, I’ll choose to start-off talking about my Fantasy QB Tony Romo. After receiving a barrage of insults during our Draft for taking Romo over Tom “The Best Dater in the World” Brady, I will gladly take the weekly top-scorer money and put it towards hiring an editor. As for a Monday Night winner, before I give you that gift I'll give my thoughts from the weekend:

1. Did safety Mike Brown (Bears) sleep with “The Man Upstairs’s” sister, and do you think RB Chris Brown (Titans) now has a chance to sleep w/ her?

2. After two season ending surgeries and a position change from college, WR Ronald Curry (10 rec 133 yrds 1 Td) could be the Rick Ankiel story of the NFL…minus the illegal Flintstone Vitamins of course!

3. Who has a worse QB situation…Virginia Tech or the KC Chiefs?

4. Maybe I shouldn’t cross-off guys on my fantasy lists because I hate them...anybody want to trade Plaxico Burress or Randy Moss!

5. Thanks to Steve Trachsel, now we know what the difference is between pitching for fun and pitching for a contender.

6. Normally, I wouldn’t care about the ND/Michigan tilt, but now, I can’t wait see which one of those ova-rated coaches walks off the field 0-3!

...and now for my Monday Night Winner!

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September 11, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 109-81 ATS For Entertainment Purposes Only!

After writing a brilliant piece on the Tigers/Blue Jays match-up yesterday, I was amazed how everything I mentioned was happening to a T…unfortunately, with 2 outs in the 9th the Jays closer ruined a perfect day for me. Of course, I will not mention his name and will not be doing much more than just telling you who will win today!

Pirates starter Bryan Bullington had the 1st start of his career last week and proceeded to allow 7 hits, 5 runs, and 2 walks thru 3 innings. While I’ve heard the phrase “Third Times a Charm”, I haven’t heard shiznit about the second time! As for the Brewers, they desperately need this one and will be sending basically their best starting pitcher over the last few months to the mound (Yovani Gallardo 7-4, 4.27)…Brews by 4-6 runs

Cubs righty Jason Marquis (11-8, 4.13) has been extremely solid this season, while the Astros Brandon Backe has only made one start this season. Also, the Cubs bats came alive last night, while the Astros have lost 5 in-a-row…Cubs by 2-4 runs

Just call it a hunch, but the Braves are due for some major runs and El Duque Hernandez is due to finally start pitching his age. As for the Braves starting pitcher, let’s just say his name is Buddy and his ERA is ova 5…Braves/Mets 12-15 total runs

September 12, 2007

Greg Gamble's Week 1 Super Bowl Rankings For Entertainment Purposes Only!

First off, I think Herm Edwards is great guy who would be an awesome High School JV coach or drama actor as an Guidance Counselor. As for the NFL, let’s just say former Lions coach Marty Morningwig shows tapes of Edwards on the sideline before his interviews to improve his stock. Larry Johnson was absolutely right to ask for every penny cause teams are going to line-up 10 in the box and make Huard or Croyle throw to the worst WRing group I’ve ever seen…Paging James Lofton, paging James Lofton.

I used to have a lot of friends that were Chiefs fans

Off the field distractions, a former collegiate coach in his 1st year in the NFL, Joey Harrington, more distractions, and an O-Line that used to blocking for Ronny “Bad Newz Kennels” Mexico. BTW, anybody know why “Newz” gets a “Z” and “Kennels” does not…I think we now know what sent a red-flag to the feds.

Romeo Crennel said multiple times that Frye was his guy this off-season and then yanked him after 10 throws Sunday. I have a feeling the most fired coach I’ve ever seen is desperately trying to make this a rebuilding year and hopes he can use the: “This was a learning year for Brady Quinn?” as the Browns try to fire him. Funny thing, they have some nice skill position players and probably my favorite former collegiate QB now playing every position in NFL and looking smoother than Jessica Alba’s backside…Joshua “M*tha F*ckin’ Cribbs!

After Nick Saban left like a stripper in the night, the Dolphins organization seemed in more disarray than the Mongoose Team in the movie “Rad” when Cru Jones finally raced like he was capable of. After being turned down by 20 other coaches, the Dolphins finally settled on nice guy Cam Cameron, who I think was on a bunch of Teen-Bop magazines when I was a kid, who proceeded to start his era by bringing in QB Shawn Green and half the head he has left. The worst thing about the Dolphins, after another year of horrific blocking we still won’t know if RB Ronnie Brown is any good or not. Oh yeah, and any team that drafted Ted Ginn Jr. with the 9th overall pick should be allowed to let the fans choose the following year.

No joke, there’s no-way possible Jeff Garcia gets through the 1st four games of the season without a concussion. The Bucs have the worst OL in the league, and I’m guessing the Cadillac has noticed and will be smart to save his gas-money for next year. Bye-Bye Chucky!

They’ll have some fire with the new young coach, have a great comeback story in Ronald Curry, and a pretty solid defense, but the musical chairs at QB and turnstiles up-front will keep their win total no higher than the great Spud Webb’s #...4

I love the blind loyalty of an owner who sticks by his coach…the only problem, not one of his players seems to be sticking with him. Especially if the Giants start off slow, you’ll see half the roster run to the training room and at least 3 more books come out that talk about how playing for Tom Coughlin has led them to be impotent.

I keep waiting for Art Monk & Garry Clark to be racing down the sideline and for the two TE set to actually work again for Coach Gibbs. At least we can still look forward to RB Clinton Portis dressing-up for Halloween and S Sean Taylor dressing-up his helmet to destroy somebody.

Is it just me, or did Larry Fitzgerald seem not to give a flying f*ck in the opener…and quite a bit slower for that matter? Also, if the Cards don’t shore-up their O-Line, the lighting-slow Leinart & Warner will both be wearing matching casts and hats on the sidelines. On the bright side, The Edge looked much better in game 1 than he did all of last year.

For all the talk that these guys are better…I’m not buying it. For all the talk that Mike Nolan is an up-and-coming coach…I’m not buying it. And finally, for all the talk that Vernon Davis is going to be a star at this level…don’t they have to throw the ball to him first?

Let’s just say that Wax Head Coach Dick Jauron is more conservative than former Senator Larry Craig claimed to be, and that GM Marv Levy thought he was signing-up to be GM of the Buffalo Bingo Organization. The only skill this offense has is if J.P. Losman throws the ball deep to Lee Evans on every other possession, the problem…Coach Dickie thinks throwing a screen pass is riskier than lickin’ a stripper-pole.

I love them already giving the ball to Adrian Peterson, but don’t love the likelihood of him staying healthy. While the O-Line is dominant and the defense is solid, I’m still not sold on QB Tarvaris Jackson (actually, I just don’t know who he is). I will give props to Coach Childress for giving the kid a shot and somewhat risking his future on him…or maybe, I should give him props cause he really wants Louisville’s Brian Brohm or Hawaii’s Colt Brennan and this is the best way to get his hands on them.

I have WR Andre Johnson in both my fantasy leagues…I’m cool, your not! QB Matt Schaub may be worth all the high draft picks the Texans gave-up…and may be worth the firing of the Falcons GM. As for the rest of the team, did I mention I have Andre Johnson!

They may have a solid defense, but their offense is pretty awful and extremely mistake prone thanks to Mr. Favre trying to fit things in like he’s in his mid 20s. Crank-up the Flintstone Vitamins Brett, I have a feeling your going to be hitting the carpet pretty hard this season because your boys can’t run the ball.

Once again, playing in the NFC North means somebody has to win games when the Pack, Viqueens, & Lions play each other. And after watching Joe Montana, wait…I mean Jon Kitna and his ridiculous WRs, I have a feeling they’ll surprise on ton of teams in their dome. As for the other games…bet the over!

I have no idea what to think of the Jets after looking horrific in their 1st game. Sure it was against the Cheaters, but Pennington still can’t throw farther than the QB in Nintendo’s 10-Yard Fight and is injured, Thomas Jones didn’t seem to have the same skip in his step, and Head Coach Mangini seems to have spent more time on film then watching it!

I know Orlando Pace is done and the defensive is horrible, but their offense is so stocked it’s hard to think they won’t hang-around .500 most of the season.

Maybe Garrard’s not that good…maybe Leftwich’s just that bad! I wouldn’t touch them on Sunday’s with Tommy Lee’s 3rd leg.

Did RB Chris Brown really rush for almost 200 yards? I didn’t see it, so I don’t believe it! As for ATS, let’s just say Vince Young luvs being the underdog!

Andy Reid might as well take the year off and pretend to be a father. The Eagles are kinda of like Lynda Carter in the final season of Wonder Woman…still watchable, but no need to bring the Jergens. Almost every single game will be decided by 3 points or less.

I had the Ravens ranked ahead of Pittsburg going into their contest with the Bengals, but I swear I saw their defense get older right before my very eyes last night. Not to mention, McNair looks done, Boller was done before it started, and I’ll bet you a shinny red Smirnoff Ice that Mr. McGahee loses his job to Musa Smith by week 4.

While they struggled in the opener at Buffalo with new personal scattered all over the field, I did see glimpses of brilliance from Jay Cutler and do believe Travis Henry has a legit shot to lead the league in rushing…oh yeah, and the defense held the Bills to 184 yards. Maybe the Cleveland Browns shouldn’t keep releasing or trading all their defense players so Shanahan can turn them into stars.

You can’t stop them, you only can hope to contain them…unless TO overdoses on ego-pills. Sure their defense sucks (BET THE OVER), but they have best RB duo in the league, will be getting Terry Glenn back by midseason, and will continue to see the development of the best gunslinger in the game…BTW, did I mention I have him on my fantasy team?

I absolutely luv new headmaster Mike Tomlin intensity, Big Ben’s chances to prove he’s not just a stupid kid on motorcycle (especially with the deadly trio of Santonio Holmes, Hines Ward, and Heath Miller), the aggressive playmaking defense, and that they added Najah “Poop in the Closet” Davenport to let Fast Willie Parker stay fast by seasons’ end.

While they looked shaky offensively in the 2nd half, once they get that offense rollin’ it’s going to be tough for opponents to keep-up no matter how average their defense is. Also, for all the talk about Rudi Johnson slowing down, he looks in better shape than Jennifer Gardner during Alias.

Obviously, if any team in the AFC North (besides the Browns) was in the NFC (Pitts/Cinn/Balt), I’d have them ranked ahead of the Seahawks. But after watching what was supposed to be two improved teams (Ariz & SF) and with Orlando Pace out for the season, I don’t see how Hasselbeck and his bald-azz doesn’t go at least 5-1 in conference. BTW, Mr. Alexander’s back baby!!!!

I’m not saying last year was a fluke, but I think they were drained after the experience last season (Katrina) and might have expected things to come too easy this season. Obviously, they have too many weapons to count them out, but I see them winning at home and losing on the road all season.

Call me a crazy degenerate, but let's just say I have a strange feeling about the Panthers after week 1. With a balanced running attack, the best WR in the game, a QB looking to prove he doesn’t suck, and a healthier defense…Fox’s boys may be challenging Da Bears in the NFC and actually living-up to the hype they've received the last few years.

He’s got little hands, little lil’ feet, short little legs, and can’t outrun Rodney Peete. (If you don’t realize I’m talking about Sexy Rexy, please log-off Insideplays and head to Sean Salisbury’s worthless blog) Oh yeah, and their weaker at RB and DT this season…I still luv them, but you’d be a fool to think their better than last year. Luckily, the NFC North is like the Cubs division…beautifully awful!

Let's just say you'd have a better opportunity to push one past the goalie having your magic-stick wrapped in plastic with hot sauce coverin' it, then opponents will be pushing one past the goaline against the Chargers. However, I can’t see them moving higher than the 3rd spot all season when most Arena League squads have better WRs, and their QB (while efficient) has a throwing style that makes Johnny Moxon from Varisty Blues look like Carson Palmer.

Cheaters never win, except the Super Bowl 3 out of 4 years. I will not even consider moving the Bradys’ above the Peytons’ until they win home-field for the playoffs...and in my humble (correct) opinion, the Colts won’t lose in Indianapolis this year. Also, I don’t care how many times Moss is dancing in the endzone in September cause I’m sure he’ll be nursing a sore something by the end of October

I’ve been saying they’d be champs the last three years…and this February, I’m guessing I’ll be correct in two out of the three…Damn you Pittsburgh, and Damn you the wife that stabbed the Colts DB so he couldn’t out run Big Ben!

Want some baseball picks and swimsuit picks…here ya go

Continue reading "Greg Gamble's Week 1 Super Bowl Rankings For Entertainment Purposes Only!" »

September 16, 2007

SUNDAY FUNDAY...AFTER A 3-0 SATURDAY...HOLLA For News and News Matter Only!

Not much else to say than HELL YEAH! Went 3-0 yesterday, got shit-faced at one of the coolest wedding spots in Chi-Town, and the sun came up. With that, I'm moving today so just trust me on my picks and listen to what my Homeboy T-Bone says!

The Chiefs are horrible and the Bears are still crabby from the San Diego trip...Bears by 3 TDs

Do I even need to explain...Benglas by double digits


For the first time this year Saturday was brutal to me. So how do I cope? Get extremely drunk and pass out early so my mind is thinking NFL before the sun comes up. I saw three games pop for me, and I feel comfortable going ATS on all of them, but the kids need more than ramen noodles for dinner tonight so I am going for the sure thing…and that’s why they call me Teasin’ T-Bone


New Orleans –4 @ Tampa Bay

We all know the Saints are in the top 5 in the league and Chucky’s boys are in the bottom 5. It is obvious the oddsmakers are putting too much weight on the Big Easy’s loss at Indy last week. N.O. needs this game to stay on course for their division title and playoff run. Brees and Bush will settle into their comfort zone this week and Chucky…..well he will be one week closer to looking for a new job. Saints by a touchdown


Kansas City @ Chicago teased down to –6.5

Wow the Chiefs are bad, and this week they get to travel to Soldier and try to keep this one close. The Bears D is tops to begin with and they’ll be sitting in the backfield with a half smoked cigar before KC’s high school play callers can even set up. Man I feel sorry for Larry Johnson this year. Chicago by 15

Oakland @ Denver teased down to –4

The Broncs need as many divisional wins as possible to prepare for their fight against San Diego this year. Cutler shows why he is leading an NFL team this week and it never hurts to be sitting a mile high being the home team. I don’t even think the Raiders are trying to rebuild anymore, they seem to be just fine with winning 4 a year. Denver by 8

September 17, 2007

GREGGY G'S Monday Night Football Special For News and News matters only!

* Greggy G’s MLB Picks: 112-85
* Greggy G’s College Football Picks: 8-4 ATS
* Greggy G’s NFL Picks: 5-5 ATS

I woke-up this morning with the pain you get when you haven’t worked out in awhile…unfortunately, the pain was due to simply drinking twice my body weight over the weekend. Throw-in the fact that I’m leaving for Vegas in three days, and I might just re-work my Will during the Monday Night contest. You think Sin City has an ova/unda on how many places refuse to sell me drinks by Friday afternoon? While I’m sure that will happen, hopefully the sportsbook can’t ban me for simply being an ATS genius…except on some Sundays. After an undefeated day on the College Gridiron, the gambling gods beeatch-slapped me like I was the Bengals defensive coordinator as I put-up a 0-2 day. Oh yeah, and to make matters worse, my opponent in fantasy had Carson Palmer and Steve Smith…like that makes the heartburn and kidneys feel any better. C-YA

Continue reading "GREGGY G'S Monday Night Football Special For News and News matters only! " »

September 27, 2007

Greggy G’s Week 3 NFL Super Bowl Rankings

College Pigskin Picks: 8-5 ats - NFL Picks: 6-5 ats - MLB : 113-90 ats

Check back later for some Thursday College Football luv!

Since this point last year the Saints have been awful!

* current rank (week 2 rank) (week 1 rank)

32. (27) (22) BUFFALO BILLS (0-3)
I bragged about Lee Evans, I drafted Lee Evans, and thru 3 games he has 5 catches and 29 yards. If that doesn’t scream come to, I don’t know what else does!
This Week: @Bills 20 Jets 24

31. (29) (29) MIAMI DOLPHINS (0-3)
THEY DRAFTED TED GINN JR. 9TH OVERALL!!! I’m guessing next year they’ll draft Chuck Knoblauch to play QB.
This Week: @Miami 17 Raiders 23

30. (30) (31) ATLANTA FALCONS (0-3)
The day Joey Harrington throws for 361 yards, 2 TDs, zero picks, and loses is the day he should send his resume to Career Builder.
This Week: @Falcons 30 Texans 24

29. (32) (32) KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1-2)
LJ rushed for an average of 1.8 and KC won…that’s crazier than a pornstar with a wedding ring!
This Week: Chiefs 17 @Chargers 27

28. (20) (16) ST. LOUIS RAMS (0-3)
Let’s just say I dropped Mark Bulger and picked-up Joey Harrington for Fantasy. And yes, my theory of not drafting a back-up QB is only working better than Travis Henry’s theory not to wear a condom.
This Week: Rams 20 @Dallas 41

27. (30) (26) NEW YORK GIANTS (1-2)
Let’s just say Coughlin gave Gibbs a little Hot Carl treatment. BTW, have you ever seen a player of the game award given to a guy who carried the ball 3 times and averaging 1.0 per carry? Say hello to Reuben Droughns!
This Week: @Giants 17 Philly 31

26. (25) (30) CLEVELAND BROWNS (1-2)
I know you probably didn’t see my favorite former college QB playing every position, Joshua M*tha F*ckin’ Cribbs, return a kickoff 99 yards cause who watches a QB battle between Derek Anderson and the two-heading phenom know as McCown & Culpepper.
This Week: @Browns 17 Ravens 20

25. (28) (27) OAKLAND RAIDERS (1-2)
I bet you didn’t know Lamont Jordan was 2nd in the NFL in rushing yards, or that the back of Warren Sapp’s pants no longer look like a slip-n-slide.
This Week: Raiders 23 @Dolphins 17

24. (26) (17) NEW YORK JETS (1-2)
Have you ever seen an NFL team just run 10-yard patterns cause the QB went to the same arm-strengthening school as Jacque Jones?
This Week: Jets 24 @Bills 20

23. (23) (21) MINNESOTA VIKINGS (1-2)
I like their defense, but I don’t like when your QBs are so bad RB Mewelde Moore is throwing passing…or the fact that they lost to the Chiefs!
This Week: @Vikings 20 Packers 17

22. (22) (24) ARIZONA CARDINALS (1-2)
Some conniving asshole tried to tell me that Kurt Warner is still playing…yeah, and I bet he hates Jesus and his wife’s tata’s are now 32Bs.
This Week: @Arizona 24 Pitt 30

21. (10) (6) NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (0-3)
I told ya last week once the Saints started getting Deuce more involved things would turn around…my bad, I meant RB Aaron Stecker!
This Week: Bye

20. (15) (25) WASHINGTON REDSKINS (2-1)
Just when I thought Joe Gibbs may still have some magic, Tom Coughlin removed the white rabbit and put a wet turd in his hat.
This Week: Bye

19. (24) (28) TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (2-1)
I was just about to convince my girl we should name our 2nd child Jeff “I’m not Gay!” Garcia, but then looked at his upcoming schedule and saw @Carolina, @ Indy, and Tennessee. That’s more dangerous than dating Fred Lane’s girlfriend.
This Week: Bucs 17 @Panthers 24

18. (17) (20) HOUSTON TEXANS (2-1)
I almost dropped them to 32rd in my rankings cause WR Andre Johnson is completely ruining any attempt of Fantasy trash-talking in both my leagues. Actually, the Texans are a pretty solid team, but their stuck in the best division in football (AFC South- Indy, Jax, Tenn). That’s like the opposite of having to play all Iowa and Iowa State back-to-back.
This Week: Houston 24 @Falcons 30

17. (21) (23) SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (2-1)
I’m still not a believer, but their divisional opponents are worse than the morning after a KFC and Red Bull Vodka party.
This Week: @49ers 20 Seattle 24

16. (14) (18) DETROIT LIONS (2-1)
Even with 3 TVs and the Sunday Ticket, I can’t seem to put anything else on the tube beside Jonny Kitna.
This Week: @Lions 31 Chicago 24

15. (9) (8) CINCINNATI BENGALS (1-2)
If Cincy has a few more losing weeks, watch as Ocho Cinco turns into a bigger pain in the azz than TO and Bill Doran (Major League) combined.
This Week: @Cincy 31 Patriots 38

14. (4) (4) CHICAGO BEARS (1-2)
Brian Griese will make a huge difference…and so will the fact that half the Bears defensive starters are injured and Cedric Benson looks like he doesn’t give a Jenna Jameson.
This Week: Bears 24 @Lions 31

13. (16) (13) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (1-2)
Maybe Donovan was just nervous the 1st few weeks waiting for his controversial QB comments to surface (No joke, anybody who thinks what he said is not true is dumber than my azz the week after Vegas) BTW, I picked up Kevin Curtis (last week: 11 rec 222 yards 3 TDs) in Fantasy this week…so he’s guaranteed to post a 2 point day!
This Week: Eagles 31 @Giants 17

12. (13) (12) BALTIMORE RAVENS (2-1)
While the Ravens have squeaked by both the Jets and Cardinals at home, it’s not like Billick’s boys haven’t been doing that for years. Only this time, at least they have a Black QB to blame if things go wrong.
This Week: Ravens 20 @Browns 17

11. (12) (5) CAROLINA PANTHERS (2-1)
Not very impressive against the Falcons, especially defensively, but playing the NFC is easier than scoring ditch-weed in a trailer-park.
This Week: @Panthers 24 Bucs 17

10. (6) (3) SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (1-2)
With O-Coordinator Ron Turner hiding behind Rex in Chicago and Charger coach Norv Turner trying to hide his face, I think the next generation of Turner’s are screwed if their seeking NFL employment. Even with Norv, I think the Lightning Bolts have too much talent not to bounce back.
This Week: @San Diego 27 Chiefs 17

9. (19) (19) GREEN BAY PACKERS (3-0)
I told you last week not to believe the hype, and then they bitch-slapped the Chargers…maybe you shouldn’t believe my hype!
This Week: Green Bay 17 @Vikings 20

8. (7) (11) DENVER BRONCOS (2-1)
With a 2nd year QB, new RB, and completely rebuilt D-line, this is one of the only times you’ll hear my use the cliché: No, not wash your hands before eating the buffet at Gentlemen’s Club…I’m talking about the team may actually learn something from a loss.
This Week: Denver 20 @Indy 31

7. (11) (14) TENNESSEE TITANS (2-1)
Nobody is more poised in the pocket with bodies flying around him than Vince Young (well, maybe Kobe Tai, but that’s after years of practice), and now the D is moving around like T.T. Boy at pool party.
This Week: Bye

6. (18) (15) JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (2-1)
I know this is a huge jump for the Jags, but they had the nicest win on the road so far (Denver) and look like the most physical offense in football. Plus, Jack Del Rio is so damn sexy!
This Week: Bye

5. (8) (7) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (2-1)
Somebody has to play the Cowboys in the NFC Championship…and who knows, Romo could get injured.
This Week: Seahawks 24 @49ers 20

4. (5) (9) PITTSBURG STEELERS (3-0)
Every new coach should start-off with the Browns, Bills, & 49ers…and now the frickin’ Cardinals! I'm guessing Charlie Batch has some kind of Goodfellas connection.
This Week: Steelers 30 @Zona 24

3. (3) (10) DALLAS COWBOYS (3-0)
I’m not gay (too often), but I would definitely sleep with Tony Romo. The only probably is he’d probably sidestep me before I could grab him.
This Week: @Cowboys 41 Rams 20

2. (2) (2) NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (3-0)
As mentioned the 1st two weeks, until the Cheeters have home-field over the Colts they will remain in the 2-spot. But damn, they look hotter than Cindy Crawford drinking a Pepsi years back.
This Week: Pats 38 @Cincy 31

1. (1) (1) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (3-0)
Don’t be fooled, the Colts are more concerned about keeping everybody healthy than they are about being Belichick efficient. Not much more to say then get your Super Bowl money on them before it’s too late
This Week: @Indy 31 Denver 20

BTW, are you guys a fan of cheerleaders...

Continue reading "Greggy G’s Week 3 NFL Super Bowl Rankings" »

October 1, 2007

Home of Greg Gamble's Monday Night Special For News and News matters Only!!!

The college football scene worked me over this weekend like a sorority girl with a back-tat...but as Mark McGwire taught me, I’m not here to talk about the past. If I was going to talk about the past, I’d say congrats to the Cubbies and hopefully somebody grabbed my suit-jacket from Da Cougar’s wedding on Friday…which made my Saturday wedding a much more casual affair (every time I think of buying another suit I end-up purchasing an Adidas jumpsuit that makes me look like a Polish mobster). BTW, Polish mobsters don’t deal in drugs, prostitutes, or gambling…it's mostly just the underground sale of fruits and vegetables. Anyway, the move to my palatial estate was a success since my girl hasn’t opened any boxes and found: “How Stella Got her Tube Packed” or “The Joy Suck Club”, and I’ve already become a regular at the local watering-hole. I can’t believe they’ve never seen somebody cry on missed FG of 25 point blowout. With that, I’m rolling into a lil Monday Night Football action and finally look forward to a week of studying spreads instead of moving boxes…Holla

Continue reading "Home of Greg Gamble's Monday Night Special For News and News matters Only!!!" »

October 7, 2007

Sunday NFL Picks

Considering suicide after a tough College football day today GG asked me to post his picks for today. Don't get discourage guys, even the best of us have rough weeks! Anyway, lets get to the picks!

Continue reading "Sunday NFL Picks " »

October 8, 2007

Monday Night Football Special!

When does the NBA preseason start? I felt like a monkey Asia Carrera’n a football this weekend and only have a Bears victory to make me smile today. While I had a blast last night in the city, taking a cab to a hot dog stand at midnight is never a smart decision to start the week. As for the Chicago Marathon, I will never understand why people wake-up early and run for fun…let alone train for weeks on how to do something that isn’t fun. Might as well sign-up for Sunday School seven days a week or choose pedicuring as a profession…did I mention I feel like shiznit? I’m gonna roll cause I can’t type and look at the screen at the same time, not to mention I know nobody reads this anyway!

For once I’m going to take a bunch of points and not tell you why.

Final Score: Cowboys 11 Bills 1

October 15, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s Monday Night Luv

MLB Picks:114-91 ats - NFL Picks:11-9 ats - College Picks:10-15 ats

Supposedly, my wingman at the wedding Saturday night was told by the groom to get me out before I knocked over another old lady...what can I say, I think those two 32oz. White Russians for breakfast was my downfall. And speaking of downfall, how about the defense formerly known as Da Bears…I think Brian Urlacher is still stuck behind FB Tony Richardson and Adam Archuleta is still stuck not being very good. While Devin Hester once again proved he’s the only playmaker on the squad, it also proves that GM Jerry Angelo has no idea when it comes to drafting or signing WRs. On a positive note, how about Cyclone great Sage “Joe Montana” Rosenfels (11-12 82 yards, 1 Td, 0 Int) looking smoother than Joe Cain from the Program during mop-up duty for the Texans...too bad his alma mater looked like a monkey Asia Carerra’ian a football against the Longhorns. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss Dan McCarney…and the party-animal known as Larry “Natural Light” Eustachy, but who doesn’t!

Continue reading "Home of Greggy G’s Monday Night Luv" »

October 17, 2007


MLB Picks: 115-91 ats - NFL Picks: 12-9 ats - College Picks: 10-15 ats

TENNESSEE (3-2, 2-1 away) @ HOUSTON -3 (3-3, 2-1 home)
Once Andre Johnson gets back, QB Matt Schaub may have one of the deadliest group of deep threat WRs (Kevin Walter & Andre Davis) since Rae Carruth was dating chicks he knocked-up. You guys know I’m a huge Vince Young fans, but not at 80%...and especially not if he’s holding the clipboard for Kerry Collins.

Final Score: TEXANS 23 TITANS 13

Continue reading "Greggy G's WEEK 7 NFL PICKS" »

October 21, 2007


ATS PICKS - MLB: 116-91 - NFL: 12-9 - College Picks: 13-17

Since my 3-2 weekend started-off with a teaser, I've decided to roll into Sunday with another one...and the lil' beeatch is like the Noxema-girl movin' to 90210...too get to be true!

The Eagles at home, Donovan against his home-town team, a healthy Brian Westbrook, and a Bears secondary that might be better suited tacklin' the crack-heads on Cops...oh yeah, and all they have to do is win! Don't be afraid to tease the Eagles with everything today...I know I am! Eagles by 3-10 points!

With a game at SF next week, the Saints have chance to jump right back in the lousy NFC mix Their offense looked solid last week, and should look better against an Atlanta defense that spends more time yelling at their coach. As for the Falcons O, it looks like they're blaming QB Joey Harrington for an O-Line that reminds me of the Wrigleyville turnstiles and a WRin crew that blows worse than a teeth-dragger. The slow-footed Byron Leftwich should look rusty coming off the bench and may be on the sideline by the 3rd quarter after his 12th knockdown...Saints by 7-17 points!

October 22, 2007

Home of Greggy G’s Monday Night Magic

ATS PICKS - MLB: 116-91 - NFL: 12-10 - College Picks: 13-17

As the clock struck 5:45 yesterday, I started to look over some small-cap stock options as it appeared I would have more money to hide than O.J. Simpson. I mean I was already up from the weekend and had about 6 teasers with the Eagles (including my son’s bicycle)… no way the Bears march down 97 yards with no timeouts and 2 minutes left to score a tuddie. What can I say, the Eagles really are that bad and it’s proof that the Bears O-Coordinator Ron Turner may be the worst in football. Chicago couldn’t move the ball all day, and then Mr. “I fell down in my driveway when I was in Denver” Griese proceeds to call his own plays and they move down the field like Kenny Pratt running from the cops! With that, I have a busy day and need to drink a couple more gallons of water before I pass-out…enjoy my pick and pic!

Continue reading "Home of Greggy G’s Monday Night Magic" »

October 28, 2007


He's not pissed he sucks...he pissed cause he didn't tease the Colts to -1

If you don't tease every bet with the Colts (-1)'re a fool...and if they don't cover, I'm sorry. But not as sorry as my youngster will be when I have to trade in his library pass!

Also, I like the BROWNS -3

October 29, 2007


ATS PICKS - MLB: 116-91 - NFL: 14-11 - College Picks: 16-19

While Indy didn’t need the tease, adding 6 points to 12 different teams was a nice gift and gave me an 8-4 record for the weekend. While a couple colleges in Texas were a major disappointment on Saturday, watchin’ my home-town Bears on Sunday was definitely the most depressing act of the weekend. Griese throwing 3 picks in the endzone, Cedric running with as much passion as the Tuesday morning shift at a strip-club, and Jon Kitna’s creepy smile at game’s end…not exactly what I call a Sunday Funday. As for tonight’s match-up, I teased Denver early in the week with Indy, but also feel pretty confident about a straight-up play in the contest. Oh yeah, and I found some Bronco cheerleaders to match…HOLLA!


November 4, 2007

Home of Greg Gamble's SUNDAY FUNDAY!

ATS - MLB: 116-91 - NFL: 14-12 - College: 20-20 - NBA: 2-2

Another solid Saturday on the Gridiron means a nicer bottle of Vodka for yours truly this week...say bye-bye Mr. Gordon & Mr. Hawkeye, it's flavored Smirnoff time! Let's continue to roll Homeboys...

Continue reading "Home of Greg Gamble's SUNDAY FUNDAY!" »

November 5, 2007


ATS - MLB: 116-91 - NFL: 14-14 - College: 20-20 - NBA: 2-2

I apologize for my dreadful performance yesterday…I never thought I’d say this about a Sunday Funday, but that extra hour was definitely filled with depression and hard alcohol. After a lil more than half the season, I’m exactly 34-34 ATS on the gridiron and feel like more of a failure than Andy Reid SHOULD feel about being a dad. But unlike the selfish coach, who should be suspended by the NFL for having numerous drugs, guns, syringes, etc. easily found by investigators in his home, let alone, should step-away simply to prove to his sons that they are more important than his career, Greg Gamble understands the mistakes he’s made and promises to utilize what he’s learned to light-shit-up in the 2nd half. Just like Heather Locklear gets hotter as the years’ pass, Greggy G gets smarter as the winds get nippier. As for the NBA, it’s early, and you know I’m a genius when it comes to professional hardwood investments. So let’s finish-up the week with some Monday Night Luv, Asia Carrera “Putting it all Behind”-style, on both the pigskin and the only round ball Tim Hardaway thinks you should play with.


November 11, 2007


FYI, I went to a Lesbian Bar last night in my new hood…crazy, and I’ll admit I now know why using a NASCAR Flag during 4-play can be titillating. As for the yellow notepad, I know you guys aren't happy with my .500 ATS record in football, so for those of you who don't trust my late season dominance feel free to use my picks for Entertainment Purposes or cause you like tellin’ your lady: “Who’s ur favorite New Kid? Call me Joe, Call me Danny, Call me Greg Gamble Beeatch!” ...But don't say I never told you so when I go on 7-game win-streak...and that starts at noon on Sunday!

Continue reading "SUNDAY FUNDAY...SUNDAY FUNDAY" »

November 12, 2007


ATS – NFL: 16-16 - NBA: 7-8 - College: 22-23 - MLB: 116-91

I’ve never been so unhappy with a Bears TD then I was yesterday when small-hands Rexy threw a 59-yard bomb to Bernard Berrian. And it had nuttin’ to do with me hatin’ on the short-former Gator, and all about making sure the Bears start from scratch with the QB situation this off-season and don’t get sucked into giving Grossman another chance. Yes, he throws a nice deep-ball…we know that, and so does everybody else in the league besides the Raiders. Last year, Grossman looked great early in the year as teams didn’t realize that he couldn’t throw in the flat (or see over a Spud Webb), but by mid-season teams adjusted their coverage and quickly turned him into the biggest liability at the QB position since the invasion of the Billy Joes in the 1990s. Once the Bears’ playoff hopes are officially over, I’d rather they give Kyle Orton the keys just so we can see if he’s a capable #2 or #3. With that, congrats to the Illini for beating the cockiest program in the nation and the Bulls for making my write-up last week look more on-point than the reviews from Titty-Titty Bang-Bang as they were waxed by 30 at home against the Raptors. Way to f*ck with the youngsters’ heads this off-season Paxson! Opposed to having 1 or 2 guys in the Kobe talks, let’s put the entire roster in the rumor mill and throw-in some contract negotiations to boot...that’s what we here at Insideplays call Rae Carruth smart Johnny Pax! As for tonight, just another day of investing and drinking…what, you have something better planned?


November 18, 2007


Have you seen the 49ers...the frickin'awful!

Final Score: RAMS 24 49ERS 10

November 21, 2007


ATS - NBA: 17-13 NFL: 18-16 College: 24-25 MLB: 116-91

With family members filling the Greg Gamble estate on both Hump Day & Turkey Day, it looks like I’ll be spending plenty of time in the garage or watching the games pretending that the score doesn’t really matter. And thanks to the NBA this week (4-1 ats), at least I can splurge for some Alize & Cristal for my garage-trips and business transactions. What an easy night, Scottie Skiles had the sourpuss scowl going early…which meant a Nugget cover by halftime, while Isiah was still tryin’ to convince Curry to jump & Starbury to play defense…even though they know he’s days away from the axe. Lucky for you, a found a few more plays on the NBA docket easier than Pamela on the rebound, while also giving you some Turkey Day football action to make your cousin’s drunk mumblings all the more interesting. Have a great Thanksgiving Homeboys, and make sure to give your Grandma a huge hug from Mr. Gamble… and someone please text me later and remind me to hide my “Greggy G’s Camping Shiznit” box in the guest bedroom.

Everybody chirping this week thinks the Pack are gonna roll like Heather Graham (nuttin’ smoother than Roller Girl) and the Lions are quickly moving out of the playoff picture. As for yours truly, I’ve found more hidden gems then ‘Indiana Jones in the Temple of Poon’ regarding a home-dog investment to start-off your Turkey Day:

Continue reading "HAPPY THANKSGIVING from your ATS Maven" »

November 24, 2007


Despite the rumors...I'm not dead or Vinny Testaverde'ade (aka questionable). I'm just waitin' for the alarm to sound so I can make a bloody and bet against...


November 29, 2007


ATS - College BB 2-0 NFL 19-18 NBA 20-21 MLB 116-91

For some reason THIS and...

...THIS doesn't bother Cowboy fans anymore!

I know I’ve hated on the Packers more than professional athletes hate on Rainbows (and no, I’m not talking about Colt Brennan), but I still think the cheese-heads are going crumble late in the year like Briana Banks after her scene in Full O’ Spunk. Of course Mr. Favre has turned back the clock and performed better than Diane Lane in the stairwell of Unfaithful, but one of these weeks he’s gonna hit the carpet a lil too hard or start throwing to the wrong jersey again. As for tonight, the Packers D is more banged-up than Ralph Macchio after not scaling the fence faster than the sweatshirt-wearin' Kobra-Kai. Stonewall DT Johnny Jolly is out and their two biggest playmakers, KGB & Charles, are game-time decisions and showed limited mobility in practice Tuesday. Especially with the game away from Lambeau and actually playing a team that’s better than average, I can’t see how the ageless magician and their out-of-nowhere RB keep-up with the star-power in Dallas. As for the spread (-7), I’m tempted to take it straight-up, but will to tease it (-1) with the OVA (46)…and the Lightning Bolts on Sunday (teased to even against KC and their no-QB, no-RB squad, and not good at decisions-coach). As for the hardwood action, let’s just say one of my picks is going against a college team that has player named GREG GAMBLE on it! What can I say, it’s Thursday, I ain’t got no night-job, and I’m going to be drunker than Tony LaRussa trying to sing the alphabet to an officer.

Continue reading "HOME OF THE ATS LEGEND...GREGGY G" »

December 6, 2007

Home of Greggy's Free ATS NFL & NBA Picks

ATS - College BB: 5-2 NFL: 21-18 NBA: 25-25 MLB: 116-91
"For Entertainment & Entertainment Purposes Only!"

While most of you know of theory on for short, slow, midget-handed QBs, it may be a shocker (not the three-fingered Valentine’s Day special…the other shocker) that I’m investing my Insideplays bonus on Rexy tonight. And no, I’m not jumping of the “I hope Grossman gets hit by Tony LaRussa’s drunk-azz”-bandwagon, but as an experienced gambler…you must push all emotions aside when trying to make sure you have something under the tree for the Loved Ones. And this Holiday, my lady’s not getting a half bottle of edible strawberry message oil I found in my trunk, or anything I discovered siftin’ through clearance bins at TJ Max…cause my hatred will take a back-seat and I’ll let the vertically-challenged signal-caller make me some money!

Just hold onto the Pigskin Homeboy!

Maybe if the Redskins had beaten the Bills in an emotional game last week at home, I’d believe they’d be riding into Thursday Night with more passion than Emmanuelle on a horse all-natural (Btw, Emmanuelle in Bangkok may be my favorite Showtime experience as a young lad), but they lost a heart-breaker that ended their slim playoff hopes, may be without another secondary piece in Shawn Springs, and continued to ride an emotional roller-coaster with Sean Taylor’s funeral Monday. As for the Bears, since regaining his starting-spot, Rexy’s been more relaxed and actually seems to understand the value of not handing over the pigskin. Last week, if Hester doesn’t use his shoulder-pad to snag the rock or Berrian actually lays out for a catchable-ball…the small-handed goof would have thrown for over 400 yards. Throw-in a RB in Adrian Peterson that is determined to prove he can handle being an every down back and a defense that’s playing for jobs next year…and I can’t see how P.T. Willis’s old squad doesn’t beat the Skins. Washington hasn’t had time to prepare, and that doesn’t bode well for a coach who doesn’t even seem to know the rules and a young QB trying to rally an emotionally-warn squad. Bears (+3)…Final Score: Sexy Rexy 27 Hoggs 20

BTW, if we see this guy, things are either going very well or very very bad!

Before I get to my hardwood picks (5-3 this week) and some outfits that would be illegal in my neighborhood, two quick thoughts for ya…

1. J-Kidd's Rumored Boycott for a Trade or Contract Extension
In my opinion, nobody in the league’s more-overrated than Capt. Triple-Double. On a team with nobody in the frontcourt that can rebound, and two superstars that can slash & sky for easy assists, don’t tell me he deserves all the hype because is box score reads: 10 ppg, 11 ass, 11 reb, 3-9 FGs, 5 turnovers. Besides the fact that he claimed his ex-wife treated him like Ike Turner, the dude couldn’t beat Eric Snow in a game of h-o-r-s-e and isn’t satisfied even with RJ & Vinsanity as his running mates. Hey Jason, tough to bring-in much help when you’re eating 20-million in cap-space! If the Nets are smart…they let someone else overpay for a guy that’s gonna age worse than Greg Oden once the 7-footer hits his 30s.

Maybe you should spend more time practicing your J!

2. Bulls should do Whatever it takes to get Gasol
While the Chicago Tribune’s Sam Smith’s assessment that the Bulls could get the 7-foot Spaniard for Tyrus Thomas & Nocioni is laughable, throw-in a Noah and Bulls will immediately become an Eastern Conference Title contender. The Bulls shooters are desperate for someone on the block to take pressure off them and Ben Wallace needs to move to PF to somewhat resemble the dominance he displayed in Detroit. One thing Sammy Smith was right about, the asking price for Gasol has never been lower and I’d be shocked if he’s not moved by the deadline!

With that, let’s hit’em up Homeboys…

Continue reading "Home of Greggy's Free ATS NFL & NBA Picks" »

December 9, 2007


After gong 2-1 on the hardcourt yesterday(damn Illini), I feel the need to spread my gambling knowledge across all of the sports today. So here we go fellas, and if you don’t have a drink in hand yet go get one and remember….it’s SUNDAY MUTHA F*CKIN’ FUNDAY BEEATCHES!

Sunday Funday sounds like a good time, are you in?

Continue reading "T-BONES SUNDAY FUNDAY" »

December 13, 2007

Home of Greg Gamble's ATS Picks & Lingerie

ATS - College BB: 7-4 NFL: 21-19 NBA: 27-32 MLB: 116-91

Yes, I know I need to stop playing the Mavs, but it’s like crack to a relaxation therapist …like the feeling of OPP to Travis Henry & Jason Caffey…like a new resume to Bobby Petrino…like driving 45 miles out of your way when gas is $4/gallon to find a video-rental place where you won’t run into anybody you know…like picking a profession you suck at for Ron & Norv Turner… like a hot model after marriage for Tony Parker…like beef jerky to Tank Johnson…like Wasabi Funyuns to a stoner…like fat-white girls for black-guys…like any nationality (except white) and anorexic girls for white-guys…like beer-bongs and tribal tats for frat-guys…and finally, like a hairy mustache for the chick working at your local grocery store! Thankfully, those bastards aren’t on the docket again tonight!

The Sage'anator & Cutler will do what it takes to score!

This is going to be a shoot-out that would make Jamaal Tinsley’s entourage proud! Cutler, Marshall, Stokley, & whatever running back they choose have been on-fire lately averaging over 31 ppg over their last 5, while the Texans always seem to throw for almost 300 yards and have averaged over 25 ppg at home this season. Not to mention, this game is indoors, both teams are in the bottom 3rd of overall team-defense, and my Homeboy from Iowa State, The Sageanator, will be the starting signal-caller coming-off a 3 TD/0 INT performance last week. As for Cutler, he’s looked sharper by the game and is coming-off a 4 TD/0 INT. Finally, playing the OVA is like heading to Vegas…no matter how much your down, there’s always time to catch-up.

Final Score: BRONCOS 34 TEXANS 31

…and now for my basketball picks and lingerie specials!

Continue reading "Home of Greg Gamble's ATS Picks & Lingerie" »

December 16, 2007


I am very happy to switch over to the pigskin today after watching my chastity belt money lock of the day lose a 14 point lead yesterday. With the NFL season wrapping up there are a few teams that are fighting for playoff spots and bragging rights, and a few that have simply given up and are waiting to get the golf clubs out. Lucky for us they just happen to be playing each other this weekend(Shhhhh, don’t tell Vegas). So read on and as always….left hand drink, right hand mouse.


December 17, 2007

Mike's Daily Rant

Garrad is quietly becoming a top-5 QB

Steelers missing cog
The #1 ranked D in the league gave up 244 yards rushing to the Jacksonville Jaguars at home yesterday; making very apparent how much they missed their pro bowl defensive lineman Aaron Smith. Smith was lost for the year with a torn biceps last week against the Patriots. The Steelers season could be over.

College basketball
Don’t know if anyone is watching college basketball yet, but their were 3 upsets in the top 25 this weekend. Looks like the upset virus that plagued college football this year has made it’s way to the basketball ranks.

Congrats to the Dolphins for getting their first win of the season and not going down as the worst team in NFL history. Jason Taylor should get a raise for being the heart and soul of this team.

Buckeye Sports
Another Ohio State sports team lost a championship title game. The OSU Soccer team lost 2-1 to Wake Forest on Sunday. Can the 08’ version of OSU Football break the slump against LSU?

Boston is running through the east. They are head and shoulders above anybody in the east. It must be something in the water in New England.

December 20, 2007

Home of ATS Picks & Lingerie by Greggy G

While Hines is a classic...

...when healthy, Holmes has been the difference-maker!

We’ve got a lil bit of everything tonight Homeboys, kind of like “A Pool Party at Seymore’s”…btw, do you think his real last name is Butts or is it just a coincidence. Anyway, too much action on gridiron and the hardwood to waste much time, but before I get to my picks & pretty outfits, I have some Holiday Gift ideas for some of our favorites at Insideplays:

For Jason Caffey, Travis Henry, & the Bears LBs
An Idiot’s Guide on How to Wear and Hat

For Mark Chmura
Tag Body Spray and the movie High School Musical

For Rex Grossman
Kiddie Gloves and Lifts for his Shoes

For Roger Clemens & 70% of MLB players
The Wizzinator

And for Najah Davenport
A porcelain toilet shaped like a laundry basket

And now, time for my picks that are guaranteed to win or explain what should have happened…

Continue reading "Home of ATS Picks & Lingerie by Greggy G" »

December 23, 2007


Eat, drink, be merry, and bump uglies today fellas!

Holiday season at the in-laws means Teasin’ T-Bone has more than enough time studying lines. So on this Sunday Funday I bring you primarily pigskin, with just a touch of roundball. Like a true degenerate, I hope santa brings me a present today in the form of some greenbacks, and if he doesn’t there is always tomorrow. I’ve said it before and I’ll repeat myself one more time…drink in left hand, mouse in right hand….ready, set, go!


February 3, 2008


After going 19-0 and still lookin' this good, I would imagine their will be plenty of baby-daddy accusations. Can you actually bet against this guy today?

After going 4-1 yesterday to bring my hardcourt record to 26-13, we now enter into what is in my humble opinion, the best Sunday of the year, hands down. And this Sunday Funday has even more meaning since the Pats are trying to accomplish something that no other team has, a 19-0 season. So to prepare for something that gets this much hype, I will break it down very methodically on how I see the game unfolding, because I do feel that this game will be a battle of what coach can make changes the quickest. No matter who you like or what you choose today, just make sure that your calorie intake in Special Brews far exceeds whatever food you manage to remember to put into your body. Before I get to the task at hand, I would like to give a special shoutout to Greggy G and all the homeys who have dedicated the last 72 hours in Chicago to creating memories that no one will remember. On to the game…..

Continue reading "T-BONE’S SUPERBOWL FREE ATS PICK " »

July 11, 2008

Home of Dirty Evil Athletes & MLB ATS

Seriously, was there a full moon earlier this week...

What a coincidence...Matt Jones is reaching for a white line!

Not to mention, they also found a pipe w/ some residue

I guess after the former 1st rounder only caught 24 balls last year, he decided to try a new off-season regiment called...PUFF, PUFF, SNORT!

And talk about going from the lil Golden Boy in Florida to...
...gettin' dismissed for gambling on games in 2001, & now...

...Teddy Toupee has been charged w/ beating & raping an ex-girlfriend.

While he told investigators "he got a little rough", this wasn't a Marv Albert-type luv bite on the neck, the poor girl had fractured ribs, a swollen eye, bruises up-n-down, and dried blood on her lips. All I can say is I hope Big Brown, and I'm not talking about the horse, treats you the same way once you hit the clink!

Before I get to the last depressing headline, l needed to remind myself what true luv is all about...ok, got it!

And for our final scum-bag, former K Tony Zendejas alleged drugged and raped a patron from his sports bar. And from all the details of the things he did...I'm guessing there may be a few more ladies stepping forward in the next few days.

Just a word of advice ladies...please watch your drinkin', especially around "has-been" athletes

Enough garbage, time for some MLB ATS & Hotties (5-2 this week)...

Continue reading "Home of Dirty Evil Athletes & MLB ATS" »

July 25, 2008

Devin Hester & ATS Luv from Greg Gamble

Hester's in the Driver’s Seat and not Pumping Gas!

I was floored by the backlash from the Chicago scribs on Hester’s decision to skip training camp awaiting a new contract. Considering our offense has the worst cast of skill position players since the adult-feature “Grumpier & Hornier Old Men”, the Bears have no choice but...

to throw the kitchen sink at the most exciting player on the gridiron. While the Bears don’t want to pay him like a top flight WR, rather a top-tier returner, GM Jerry Angelo dug his own grave in the situation as Lovie’s top two WRs are Brandon “Gator Arms” Lloyd & Marty “I was good in 1973” Booker. Throw-in two QBs that would struggle to find a starting gig if the XFL started back up and a backfield made-up of a rookie from Tulane, a former Lion off major knee surgery, a Wolfe that’s smaller than Wolf, & the wrong Adrian Peterson, and every Bear fan knows Devin has to be on the field as much as possible…even if just as a decoy.

The Bears better get on all fours and beg Hester to sign!

On top of that, we just witnessed Angelo back-up the Brinks truck for a LB already making 12 times Hester’s salary coming-off an average year and back problems, as well as, extensions for DE Alex Brown and our frickin’ kicker! And I have to read that he needs to be in Bearbonnais, risking injury, so he can pick-up the playbook. Yeah, what a dumb decision by the former Hurricane to skip training camp…he has absolutely no leverage in the situation!

* with a gratuitous photo to match each ATS play!

The Giants are awful and looking to trade anybody over the age of 25, and tonight...

Continue reading "Devin Hester & ATS Luv from Greg Gamble" »

August 7, 2008

Chicago Bears Preseason Opener Prediction

Hey look, the Bears top two Fantasy guys!

As the gridiron season opens, everybody knows the defensive is always a few steps ahead of the offensive. And in the Bears & Chiefs case, were talking Manute Bol to Bridget the Midget steps.


Without question, nobody in the NFL has a worse collection of skill-position players than Lovie, and nothing made it worse then when journalists asked him about Brett Favre or any other qualified QB and he responded in his southern-twang: “We have two QBs”


If you asked Lovie, “What do think of Jessic Alba’s cheeks?” he’d respond: “I have two azz cheeks”. Listen, you know my feelings on Favre and my prediction he’ll return to the extremely average and turnover happy QB of ’05 and ’06, but how could an entire organization actually believe this guy:

Or this guy…

Is somehow going to lead us to the promise land?

As for our WRs, Marty “I used to be good” Booker, Brandon “I’ve never been good” Lloyd, & Devin “I got paid like a WR cause our WRs are no good” Hester would struggle to find starting gigs in NFL Europe.

On the bright side, at least we have a nice tight end!

As for the running game, let’s just say Larry Johnson would struggle to find running room behind a right-side on the decline & left-side that’ll need the aging Olin Kreutz to help out rookie Chris Williams and the permanent rookie-skills of Terrance Metcalf, let alone a rook from Conference USA, a midget from Northern Illinois, & Whoopi Goldberg’s little bro. As for the Chiefs, take your pick on which one of these guys:


BRODIE CROYLE will be working for Craig Krenzel’s Molecular Genetics Firm by 2010

While Larry Johnson is a stud and will look better this season, don’t expect Herm Edwards to risk having him in the training room by opening day and to limit his touches the entire pre-season. Same thing with Tony Gonzalez

another nice tight end, leavin' Dwayne Bowe as the only talent that could burn the Bears 2night. Seriously, have you seen KCs list of WRs behind Bowe? Devard Darling, Jeff Webb, Will Franklin, & Andre Rison. Hey Herm, if Andre Rison’s house isn’t on fire or Tamarick Vanover isn’t financing Bam Morris’s glaucoma research, give’em a shout!

I wonder if that was from Bam Bam's stash?

On the defensive side, both squads improve greatly from last year simply because of their health, while KC has stockpiled some talented youngsters over the last few years and Chicago’s LB will be pumped with the home-crowd tonight (you know, trying to impress those groupies looking for some Linebacker swimmers).

As for a final score and a couple more hotties…

Continue reading "Chicago Bears Preseason Opener Prediction" »

August 11, 2008

Daily ATS Plays & Solid Olympic Coverage

Women's Sand Volleyball looks even better in Beijing!

Everywhere we went this weekend the ladies wanted to watch the Olympics, & while I’m not a hater of the Games, I am a hater of not knowing what the F*ck is going on! Seriously, could you please put some type of graphic up to let me know if its semi-final, single-elimination, how many cats advance, or if it’s a round robin tourney!

Is Sychronized Sand Modeling a double elimination event? How would I know if I turned it on halfway thru?

I’m a popular MFer and not sitting around watching every minute of the pre-race/match BS and by the time I look-up at the screen, I might as well be watching a cricket match after smoking some ditch-weed.

Moving to the dimaond action, impressive performances from both Chi-Town teams, but the season-ending injury to Jose Contreras leaves a huge hole in an already thin White Sox staff.

Onto some gridiron action, while I’ve never been more than a casual fan of Raider Nation, this season Al Davis & Co. have sparked my interest with an intriguing cast of characters.


I’m talking about the 6-6 260 lb cannon-arm of JaMarcus Russell, the fiery addition if CB DeAngelo Hall, and a three-headed rushing attack that might be the best in the NFL.

Trust me...Darren McFadden will be a future Hall of Famer!


Little-known son of Huggy Bear, RB Justin Fargas had a ridiculous season with limited touches last year (3 games with over 139 yards and a solid average of 4.5 with 1009 rushing yards), and…


…possibly the best collegiate RB in '06 before the former-QB broke his leg & missed all of his rookie year, Michael “250-lbs & fast” Bush has the potential to be the best short-yardage back in the NFL.


And finally, my Fantasy Sleeper in WR Ronald “I’m finally healed from blowing out both Achilles tendons” Curry.

With that, let's roll to my ATS picks and more Hotties!

Both the Cards & Marlins had rough road trips against division rivals this weekend, but...

Continue reading "Daily ATS Plays & Solid Olympic Coverage" »

August 15, 2008

Fantasy Pigskin, NFL & MLB ATS, & Ladies

BTW, if you missed yesterday's off-the-chain magic...CHECK IT OUT

Guru Ranking: 25-30 - Greggy G ranking: 15-20

With every other WR injured & a QB that, even though he has an annoying sister-in-law, can light up the stat sheet...

Nobody has a more unproven batch of WRs than the Seahawks…and yes, even my very own Chicago Bears. The “Pamela Anderson to USA Female Swimmers”-huge difference between Seattle & Chicago, Mr. Holmgren actually has a gunslinger under center. While everybody drools over the big dogs in Indy, NE, & Jerry Jones land, Hasselbeck quietly ranked 4th in attempts last season, and under the former Favre-headmaster, always seems to rank in the top 8 in TDs, total yards, and fantasy points for QBs.

She's so happy, she must have Nate on her Fantasy squad!

As for the 26-year old speed demon Nate Burleson, he ranked 1st in TDs & 2nd rec. yards for the Seahawks last season with Bobby Engram, Deion Branch, & D.J. Hackett in the mix. This year, Hackett’s in Carolina, Branch is still recovering from a torn ACL in last year’s playoff loss, and leading receiver Bobby “how the hell did he catch 94 balls last year” Engram is out eight weeks with a cracked shoulder. Unless you’re Marty Booker-slow, I’m guessing you catch my drift with baldy’s options when he drops back…it’s like picking a hottie at a Green Bay bar with a guest appearance by an Olsen Twin and your holding a diet pill and bottle of Grey Goose. I know the former Nevada-star can be a little spacey at times, but seriously, how does he not greatly eclipse the 50-catch and 9 tuddies from last season.

Even though Seneca was robbed of a Heisman, unlike NEB's Eric Crouch he can actually play QB at the highest level!

And speaking of the Seahawks, Lovie Smith and his two-headed handicapped QB-monster head to Seattle Saturday for a preseason blood-bath…ok, maybe not that, but considering Vegas has a line, in my mind there’s no difference between this and the Super Bowl. Not to mention, my favorite footballer of all-time, Seneca MFin Wallace will be taking a ton of snaps with Hasselbeck’s stiff back.

While some will never like the unique flair of Seneca are a chick with an arm tat, I think you're missing out!

You laugh, but the former Cyclone was AURORA SNOW in Naughty Bottoms-flawless in Minny last week (15-20 and 3 TDs), not to mention QB Charlie Frye will be splittin' time with the superstar, and I’d rather have the former Brown throwin' to our cast of garbage in Chicago. Especially, with the Bears awful OL tryin' to mesh in possibly the loudest NFL stadium, I believe the Seahawks easily cover the -1.

As for my OLYMPIC HOTNESS yesterday, I received many complaints about not having any female ballers in my selections. So...

Continue reading "Fantasy Pigskin, NFL & MLB ATS, & Ladies" »

August 18, 2008

Bears Hit, MLB ATS, & Whip Cream Bikini

Preseason Pigskin reminds me of ALI LARTER'S SCENE in the epic thriller Varisty Blues...back-up QBs hold all the power!

After kicking out the suburban-hoodrats who drained my liquor cabinet Saturday Night, I quickly grabbed my stashed bottle of Dr. Mcgillicutty's Vanilla from the fridge and sprinkled some caviar on my nachos before strapping-it-down to watch the Tivo’d Bears game in its entirety. Rarely have I been more than a casual watcher of Preseason action, but with the starting QB spot being decided on the night’s performance, I actually was excited to pass on a trip to the local watering-hole to check out every snap of the Sexy Mini Rexy & Krazy Kyle-duel.

While I like Krazy Kyle, especially ova the fumbling Midget, I don't like him to lead us to the promiseland!

To start, for all the talk the Bears have no QB, no WRs, and unproven RBs, by far their worst position on the field is the O-Line…especially the left side. I don’t car if Joe Montana, Tom Brady or Cleo Lemon were under center, you can’t find a bad WRer if you spent every second running from big-angry-black men. By the start of the 2nd quarter I was at Bodog droppin' another few bills on Lovie’s win total for the season. BEARS WINS 8…are you frickin’ kidding me! I know they rolled to the Super Bowl just a few years ago behind an awesome defense & ridiculous special teams, but the D is nowhere close to the dominating 06-07 squad, & Grossman had at least had a few seconds that year before he dropped the ball or was picked-off in the flat.


As for Devin Hester at WR, while he looked better than I thought, no chance he stays healthy throwing his body around like ASIA CARRERA in Whoriental Sex Acadamy 7 on running plays, not to mention, the safties will be licking their chops when he crosses the middle.

With Desmond Clark aging and banged-up, the Bears were smart to grab the Spartan giant Kellen Davis!

As for a bright-spot, I have no idea how 6-7 Michigan State TE Kellen Davis lasted until the 5th round. While he’s not the best blocker, he catches everything in sight and has decent mobility for someone his size. Paired with Greg Olsen and Desmond Clark (if his knee is ok), I’m guessing Offensive Coordinator Ron Turner will be instructing his bad QBs to ignore the garbage slowly running on the outside.

Just like the back-up QBs in the preseason, it's important to have two solid options!

In my humble, but correct opinion, preseason ATS can be

Continue reading "Bears Hit, MLB ATS, & Whip Cream Bikini" »

August 20, 2008

NFL Fantasy Sleepers and MLB ATS

While he'd look like a Beast in any uniform, Hasselbeck needs the former Seminole QB more than most!

Before I hit you with my Fantasy Sleepers (and no I’m not talking about the Woman’s Gymanstics team or James Blake’s GIRLFRIEND), with Anquan Boldin desperately wanting out of Arizona, Mike Holmgren should be begging management like a stripper begs an NFL-star not to wear a hat to fill his vacant WR-spot opposite Nate Burleson with the chiseled Cardinal (Ingram-inj, Branch-inj, Hackett-Panthers). I know Seneca Wallace can do it all, and selfishly I want the Bears to grab the most underappreciated WR in the game (the fastest player to 400 catches ever!), but tell me how the Seahawks owner doesn’t appease the oversized-mustached man in his final year on the sideline?


Just like Esquire's SEXIEST WOMAN of 2005 looks even better in 2008...

Palmer led the league in TDs in 2005 & will be filthy in '08

CARSON PALMER QB rank: 7TH – Overall rank: 66TH
GREG GAMBLE QB rank: 5TH – Overall rank: 39TH

While Carson’s had more drama with his WRs than Charlie Sheen after his lady catches him snorting coke off a relaxation therapist, the trio of Ocho Cinco, Henry, & HoushmanHasselhoff have basically been with him from the get-go. Throw-in a pass-catching TE for the first time in his career in Ben Utecht, and I expect Palmer to come close to duplicating his 32 tuddies and 68-comp% from 2005. While the yards may be a little down because the rushing attack should be lethal, more red-zone opportunities will result in more groupies jumping on your fantasy bandwagon if you grab him. For some reason, many gurus have Matt Hasselbeck and his missing band of WRs and Big Ben and his Steeler rushing attack ahead of the former USC Trojan…and that’s plain silly.

Just like your mom wouldn't like your wife wearing this wedding dress, just because Chris Henry shouldn't date your daughter doesn't mean he can't help your team!

BTW, nothing makes me laugh harder than media and righteous bitches screaming about character issues…their not porking your sister (well, probably not) and simply need to perform on Sunday Funday for you fools! While Chris Henry will never tap his full-potential (I honestly believe if he trained as hard as he partied he’d be a Hall of Famer) and will be suspended the first four game, the dude is a ridiculous deep threat and an absolute monster in the red-zone.

Just because people were hatin' on Britney for lip synching...

Doesn't mean you should drop Maroney in your rankings because he looks like one of the dudes from Milli Vanilli!

LAURENCE MARONEY RB rank: 19TH – Overall rank: 27th
GREG GAMBLE RB rank: 11th – Overall rank:17th

While the fantasy guru’s seem afraid of Maroney’s injury woes the last two years, considering he’s getting closer to a payday extension, I bet we see Golden Gopher-quality from the shifty back. In addition, while the Pats threw the pill around like they were at a Sebastian Janikowski party, after watching them piss down their leg in the Super Bowl because of the pressure up front, I expect the hoodie-sweatshirted-genius to get back to a more balanced attack. Sure Mr. Gisele Bundchen will still be marching the team down the field through the air with regularity, which also means more red-zone touches for LoMo (yeah, a made that sh*t up). As for talk Lamont Jordan and Sammy Morris will steal some of his touches, I’ve had both on my fantasy teams for brief stints in the past...and that means I sucked.

Just like FOX became the sexiest star after only a year...

Calvin Johnson will be a superstar in his 2nd year!

(In addition to Calvin, check out my piece on NATE BURLESON)
CALVIN JOHNSON WR rank: 25th – Overall rank: 65th
GREG GAMBLE WR rank: 16th – Overall rank: 45th

Hi, my name is Calvin. I’m 6-5, run a 4.3-40, jump like Spud Webb, and have hands that could handle Melanie Melons (remember her Homeboys…wonder if she’s still packing double dil-awesome-dos?). For all the chatter he struggled putting-up numbers...READ ON

Continue reading "NFL Fantasy Sleepers and MLB ATS" »

August 21, 2008


And the winner is...KRAZY KYLE ORTON!!!

The million dollar ATS question in tonight’s bloodbath between the Bears & 49ers is how Kyle Orton will respond now that the job is his. After last week and watching Sexy “Mini-Me” Rexy get absolutely destroyed by Seattle’s 1st team defense against the NFL’s 32nd ranked O-Line (and 32nd is being generous), I expect the Bears not to do much more than run the ball and execute a few dump-offs. Even if the Grizzly Adams-looking Orton can find some time, I still can’t see who the hell he’s gonna throw-to outside of the TEs.

The Packers QBs almost lost their shirt playing the San Fran D-Line last you think they'll look against us!?

Considering Mike Nolan’s crew roughed-up the Packers in San Francisco 34-6 last week sacking the Favre-less QBs 6 times and recovering 3 fumbles, I expect the collection of youngsters to once again run circles around Lovie’s oversized turnstiles.

Not only does J.T. have experience with Matz's system from Det., he also was able to learn under the great Jon Kitna!

As for the 49ers offense, Joe Montana…I mean J.T. O’Sullivan & Alex Smith have been battling all camp, but with Mike Martz bringing-in the nappy-haired O’Sullivan from Detroit, he looks like the opening day starter. Regardless, the competition is still considered open, probably leading to some solid play-calling from the O-Coordinator in tonight’s match-up. In addition, the offensive line has been very impressive through two preseason games only allowing two sacks thus far.

Just like a chick's ability to lick her heel, the San Fran WRs are extremely underrated!

Throw-in an underrated group of WRs (Issac Bruce, Bryant Johnson, Ashley Lelie, & Arnaz Battle) some experienced RBs (Frank Gore, DeShaun Foster, & Michael Robinson), and the explosive Vernon Davis, and I expect the 49ers to win straight-up tonight. (SF +3)

Final Score: 49ERS 31 BEARS 24

August 22, 2008

Bears Recap, Fantasy Flops, & MLB ATS

If you don't care about the Bears...FANTASY FOOTBALL FLOPS

You can tell this isn't a D coached by Bob Babich...just checking out their swagger you know it was Ron Rivera!


1. Following the Bears Super Bowl appearance where the defense and special teams carried the entire load, Lovie couldn’t handle the luv legendary Bear & D-Coordinator Ron Rivera received and the next thing you know Ronny was a LBer Coach for the Lightning Bolts and Smith’s minion Bob Babich was running the D. Since then, the Bears have sucked like an oral artist in Hugh Grant’s pimp-ride. No exaggeration as the so-called foundation of their squad ranked 28th in total yards allowed last season and looks like they haven’t tackled once in Training Camp so far through the Preseason.

Just like when you have Mike Brown on your squad, you need more than one option!

As for the permanently hobbled Safety Mike Brown, it appears the Bears are afraid to injury their smartest baller as they’ve kept him deep in the secondary instead of closer to the line-of-scrimmage where he thrives. Maybe the plan will change once the regular season starts, but if they don’t, Brown will not be close to the player he was for the few games he’s healthy.

If the black & white stripes down call are O-Line for holding, at least some of RBs could look solid!

2. I was a Kristy Alley-sized fan of Kevin Jones at the begging of his 1st two NFL seasons, only to have my fantasy brotherins mock my azz as I dropped him by Week 3. Great to see him break-out for a nice run yesterday, as well as rookie Matt Forte’s performance, and from all reports the former Hokie is in the best shape of his life (think Muhsin Muhammad during his contract year with the Panthers, before the Bears paid him like Jerry Rice in his prime), which means Whoopi Goldberg’s lil brother (Adrian Peterson) or short as a Wolfe is gone.

Can Rashied be the spark we need 5 or 6 games?

3. I swear for how long I’ve heard Bear beat-writers talk about how great Rashied Davis has looks in training camp, he might be as old as Jose Contreras…that being said, they’re right! On the flipside, I was so pissed the 49ers totally blew coverage and misplayed Mark Bradley’s big catch. Before that he was probably gone, now…I have feeling their going to waste another roster spot on the former 2nd rounder.

While Kyle's acted like a dick in the past, maybe he's ready for the professional world!

4. Could Krazy Kyle Orton be our Carlos Quentin or Kosuke Fukudome…Oh wait, if he’s Kosuke he’ll suddenly forget how to play QB by Week 6!

Urlacher might have used Elmers as a kinky thing with his ex-girls, but I don't think he should use it on game day!

5. Brian Urlacher needs to stop rubbing glue all over his jersey before makes it impossible to shed those blockers!

with that, let's hit-up my FANTASY FOOTBALL FLOPS...

Now that's what I call a Greggy G Fantasy!!!

Continue reading "Bears Recap, Fantasy Flops, & MLB ATS" »

August 26, 2008

Fantasy Pigskin, Daily ATS Picks, & Babes

Bet u won't see a fantasy team w/ these 2 rollin' 2gether
...unless ur facing Greggy G in the Bowl-O-Dicks league!

Similar to the 2006 season when I drafted Peyton Manning 3rd and won the league, drafting RBs just because that's what the gurus say has been a huge downfall for me over the years. In my opinion, considering it’s the most often injured position, I think unless you have a sure thing you grab the cats that will score you the most points. With that, here are the results of my First Fantasy Draft Sunday:


Just like my favorite Moss, just because you in trouble sometimes doesn't mean you don't have serious skills!

Round One (6th pick) – WR Randy Moss
Even though you know the Patriots will be running more this season, the one thing that won’t change will be the deep bombs to Randy. Unlike most teams that utilize a player with Moss’s ability down the sideline, NE occupied different areas of the field by running Welker all over underneath, Stallworth down the middle, and as the play developed Moss would be crossing the field deep to a vacated safety spot. Considering he racked-up almost 1500 yards & 23 tuddies in his first season w/ Gisele’s man, and most of the top-dog RBs were gone, I went with the sure thing…the most points available w/ the 6th pick.

Just like Owens, Aniston's had trouble finding someone 2 love her longtime. But regardless of age, both are still flawless!

Round Two (19th pick) – WR Terrell Owens
By far this brought me more hazing than Rex Grossman walking around anywhere within 1200 miles of Chicago. With the only four QBs I wanted gone and a collection of RBs headlined by the crumbling knee of Willis McGahee, I decided to have the best combination of WRs in fantasy league history. Trust me, on weeks when both guys have solid Sundays, I’ll beat teams outright with these ova-sensative crazy cats!

The combo of Brady's foot injury & Maroney trying to dispell the injury-prone label with a contract extension on the horizon means he's a Greg Gamble roster invitee!

Round Three (30th pick) – RB Laurence Maroney
I was absolutely shocked my SLEEPER pick was still available...what can I say, some dudes in my league are a lil slow. Want to know why he’s gonna be solid this year...READ THIS (scroll down for Maroney)

Just like $2 Labatt, Michael Turner was a steal this late!

Round Four (43rd pick) – RB Michael Turner
I’ll admit I was a little scared after drafting two WRs that I’d be stuck with garbage in the backfield. But once again, the players in my league dropped the ball and I grabbed a RB ranked much higher on my Greggy G Big Board. Michael “The Burner” Turner has been starter material the last few years, but unlike most, is rested and has learned the game behind the best of the best...LT. I know some are down on the Falcons, but Turner on Turf is like a wet waitress T-shirt contest at a Sushi bar...frickin' perfect!


Continue reading "Fantasy Pigskin, Daily ATS Picks, & Babes" »

September 4, 2008


Greggy G's 2008 Pigskin Record: 3-0 ATS aka 100 frickin' %
If you like my College luck so far, click here BEEATCHES

Look for the Giants running game to look even more physical with Big Brandon Jacobs healthy and hungry!

And in my opinion, there's only one other person I know that looks better than Jacobs when healthy & wearing #27!

Both teams are pretty banged-up heading into the opener, but with a new staff and offensive scheme for young QB Jason Campbell, the Skins may not be able to take advantage of the depleted D-Line of the Giants. After a rougher start last year than the opening scene for Krista Maze in Face Jam last, the Giants turned-up the intensity in the trenches and decided to become a much more physical team. Offensively, they began to pound teams on the ground with a rotation of backs and were able to loosen things-up on the outside for Plaxico & Co. Especially with Brandon Jacobs healthy to start this year, look for more of the same as NY plays with a chip on their shoulder tonight to prove they were not just a one-year wonder. While Clinton Portis should have a nice night as far as yardage, unless Campbell makes them pay early, look for the Giants to stack the box and keep Portis from breaking anything of significance.

Final Score: GIANTS 24 SKINS 13

As for my favorite NFL ATS Play for Sunday's action...

For all the talk Perry is injury prone, the bruiser once carried the ball 50 times in a game for Michigan. As for this year in Cincy, I predict he'll be a superstar all season!

While most prognosticators believe the dark clouds will continue to hover over the Bengals organization like a fratboy over a passed-out cheerleader, yours truly never took advantage of an over-served underclasshottie and believes they’ll battle the Steelers for AFC North title. Broken nose and all, Carson Palmer seems driven to prove the Bengals are more than a running penitentiary joke and knows their window of opportunity is slowing closing.

Just like Palmer, she has a look of intense passion!

As for the change in the backfield, after years of injury trouble Chris Perry enters the season rested and ready to prove he can carry the load behind a solid offensive line. The former Michigan star is excellent at reading his blocks, and once he sees a seam, has the rare combination of power and quick cutback ability. In the passing game, while Marvin Lewis is used to dealing with the drama, this year he’s also dealing with injuries to his two stars. But even dinged-up and without much practice, T.J. & Ocho Cinco are both expected to play and could probably run routes for Carson blindfolded. Throw-in the addition of former Colts TE Ben Utecht and the reliable hands of Perry out of the backfield, and I predict Palmer opens the season looking sharp. On the defensive side of the ball, while they’ve been a laughing stock the last few years, they are extremely aggressive and should look better than advertised against a rookie QB and new coaching regime. The Ravens offense looked worse with each preseason game and probably will keep things simple for Delaware star Joe Flacco. On the defensive side of the ball, the once intimidating and dominate squad has aged, so look for the new staff to break in plenty of youngsters throughout the season in what will be a rebuilding year. Bengals look a little sloppy Sunday, but score too many points for Jim Harbaugh’s older brother to open his NFL coaching career with a victory.

Final Score: BENGALS 27 RAVENS 13

Hold on Homeboys, don't hit the showers just yet and click here for SATURDAY'S COLLEGE PLAY O THE DAY & more hotties!

Continue reading "GREG GAMBLE'S NFL ATS PICKS & LUV" »

September 7, 2008

Home of the Undefeated 2008 Pigskin Legend Greggy G...Don't Stop Believin!

Greg Gamble's 2008 Pigskin ATS - CFB: 5-0 NFL: 1-0

Before we get to my ATS PLAY of the Day, I have a few thoughts:

Call me crazy, but I'm betting Smokey has a nice season!

1. Does a NE (-10) Jet/Dolphin (unda 42) teaser seem like a lock today? Can't see how KC scores more than 10, and too much pressure for two guys still not used to the offense in Favre & Pennington.

Youngsters are always exciting, but newbies in the NFL sometimes have a lil trouble gettin' started!

2. Is Jon Kitna the sexiest man on turf and are the Lions (-3) destined to open the season strong (ATL starting a newbie under center) before collapsing like last year?

At Garcia's age & w/ an off-season trying to satisfy one of the hottest models not from Asia, does he have anything left?

3. With a healthy Deuce and Gaint castoff Mr. Shockey, do the Saints have too much fire power at home for Jeff “I’m not gay” Garcia?

With that out the way, let's hit-up my Play O the Day!
Trust me...Chris Perry is gonna be a beast this season!

While most prognosticators believe the dark clouds will continue to hover over the Bengals organization like a fratboy ova a passed-out cheerleader, yours truly never took advantage of an over-served underclasshottie & believes they’ll battle the Steelers for the North title.

Even though Carson's had an unlucky preseason, sometimes unlucky things turn out ok!

Broken nose and all, Carson Palmer seems driven to prove the Bengals are more than a running penitentiary joke and knows their window of opportunity is slowing closing. As for the change in the backfield, after years of injury trouble Chris Perry enters the season rested and ready to prove he can carry the load behind a solid offensive line. The former Michigan star is excellent at reading his blocks, and once he sees a seam, has the rare combination of power and quick cutback ability.

The Bengals promised to have more of a business approach!

In the passing game, while Marvin Lewis is used to dealing with the drama, this year he’s also dealing with injuries to his two stars. But even dinged-up and without much practice, T.J. & Ocho Cinco are both expected to play and could probably run routes for Carson blindfolded. Throw-in the addition of former Colts TE Ben Utecht and the reliable hands of Perry out of the backfield, and I predict Palmer opens the season looking sharp. On the defensive side of the ball, while they’ve been a laughing stock the last few years, they are extremely aggressive and should look better than advertised against a rookie QB and new coaching regime.

The Ravens aren't very money under center!

The Ravens offense looked worse with each preseason game and probably will keep things simple for Delaware star Joe Flacco. On the defensive side of the ball, the once intimidating and dominate squad has aged, so look for the new staff to break in plenty of youngsters throughout the season in what will be a rebuilding year. Bengals look a little sloppy Sunday, but score too many points for Jim Harbaugh’s older brother to open his NFL coaching career with a victory.

Final Score: BENGALS 27 RAVENS 13

Love this shirt Homeboys...Sunday Funday is back!

September 8, 2008

Home of Greggy G's Monday Night ATS Luv

Greg Gamble's 2008 Pigskin ATS - CFB: 5-0 NFL: 1-1
Want to see why the Guru luvs the GB/MN Unda tonight

You think Belichick will be giving the Flutester a call?

Considering I drafted Randy Moss on both my fantasy squads, I wasn’t too happy to hear GISELE (click me) would have plenty of cuddle time with the League MVP this year. As for a few other quick thoughts on the first Sunday on the grirdiron:

The Colts line looked like they were loungin' at the beach!

1. The Colts have some sorry-ass fellaz in the trenches. With the injuries on the O-Line and a defense that relies on a 5-8 Safety (Bob Sanders) to stop the run, I’m guessing the Colts will be sitting at home with Marc Bulger come playoff time.

The Bengals let the 260 lb LeRon McClain rush for 86 yards yesterday...and yes, I said LeRon MFin McClain!

2. Thanks for ruining my perfect ATS season Cincy! And can somebody please tell me how the hell Marvin Lewis still has this job. As a supposed defensive guru, does it strike you as funny his team still can’t tackle? A rule of thumb on when to fire a coach, the day after a 6-6 slow white QB named Joe rushes for a 38 yard TD.

I know ladies can sometimes be a little dirty in getting what they want, but that doesn't explain what Norv Turner does in his interviews to keep getting head coaching jobs.

3. Speaking of coaches, when Norv Turner gets fired after the season, does he buy new knee pads for each coaching interview or does he have a lucky pair that’s helped him get a job for years?

DeSean Jackson may be the playmaker to finally take Donovan to the promiseland!

4. McNabb finally has the swagger back & this time he has more weapons than the front seat of Maurice Clarett’s SUV...Super Bowl Sleeper Fellaz!

Just like in Cleveland w/ Quinn, even though he's the shortest...

...of the 3 QBs doesn't mean he's not the best choice!

5. GM Phil Savage better hope Derek Anderson hasn’t cashed that check yet. Regardless, Brady Quinn will be starting by Week 5.


Continue reading "Home of Greggy G's Monday Night ATS Luv" »

September 10, 2008

Greggy G's First Glance ATS Pigskin Plays

If you want to skip my NFL play, CLICK HERE FOR NCAA LUV

After a year running off-tackle, the Saints finally realize they need Reggie making highlights on the outside!

In the ATS World, Tuesday is like Amateur not at the Tuck-A-Buck as the drinks are half price and the performers give you the bonus of that nervous lil smile. For the newbies to the gambling world, what I mean is the Sportsbooks open the Pigskin lines and your able to jump on the action before the Big Dogs start the numbers moving. Case in point, the Saints are only 1-point favorites at lowly Washington, and by Sunday, my guess is you’ll see Drew Brees & Co. favored by almost a FG...even w/out Colston. While my detractors will tell ya the Skins have extra time to prepare and home-field advantage, did those BEEATCHES actually see how inept their offense was last Thursday? With a new headmaster, a completely new offensive scheme, and an unproven QB, I’m guessing the three extra days doesn’t enable Chris Cooley to become Antonio Gates, Santana Moss to grow a few inches, or Jason Campbell to look as comfortable as Drew Brees.

Just like this contest, the Saints have so much flashy talent!

While I agree the Skins defense is solid, with Belichick’s savior now on season long holiday nobody in the league is as dangerous offensively as New Orleans & their bulging bag of goodies. Even with Colston out, we’re talking Reggie “I love Kardashian’s” Bush (click me), Jeremy Shockey, Devery Henderson, David Patton, maybe the Deuce, and the best QB to run Sean Payton’s spread system in Drew MFin Brees! More importantly, with the combination of Payton finally realizing Bush needs to space things on the outside (8 catches, 112 yards, 1 TD – 51 rushing yards) and their abundance of downfield weapons, even Deuce’s sub Pierre Thomas (last week: 52 ryds, 5.2 avg) can looked talented with plenty of running room.

Even though Colston is out, NO has penty of WR depth. Look for speedster Devery Henderson to break out Sunday!

Taking it a step further, did you see how Plax’s size (10 rec 133 yrds) dominated the Skins DBs last week? With Colston out, my guess is you’ll see the Shockster (6-5, 251) spend time split-out, who’s also already playing w/ a chip on his shoulder since the trade, and faces a team/field he knows well, not to mention they were the ones that broke his leg last year. Throw-in a week removed from the drama of hurricane Gustav and I cannot fathom how Jason Campbell keeps-up with the points the Saints throw on the board this Sunday Funday!

As for the only negative I see, hopefully the Saints can handle the distractions from the only highlights at RFK:



Distraction #3...I know she's not a Skinette, but I hear she's going.




Strahan was right when he said Washington's ladies make it tough to play in RFK. I’d be thinkin' bout rubbing my gap-teeth between some of those as well!

Nonetheless… Final Score: SAINTS 27 REDSKINS 17

As for my ATS College pick before the line moves…Willingham%20bad.jpg
Ty will be makin' this face Saturday, but this time it won't be cause of an injury...the Sooners are in town...READ WHY!

I wonder if their traveling to the game...Want more ladies?

Continue reading "Greggy G's First Glance ATS Pigskin Plays" »

September 14, 2008


untitled.bmp is #1 baby, girl U know it's true!!

NFL ATS: 1-1 Parlays: 0-1
Welcome to Sunday Funday with Teasin’ T-Bone fellas. Sunday Funday you say, what makes it so damn fun T-Bone? You wanna know why?
1. It’s friggin’ Sunday, the day of rest, you ain’t workin’, so smile!
2. Football, football, football.
3. U get to hang out w/ T-Bone & Greggy G
*GG (9-2 ATS) luvs Cincy's a few more of his picks
4. It rhymes, deal with it….

She's smilin' cuz she rolled w/ T-Bone & Double G!!

Takin’ a quick LSD flashback to yesterday, you’ll see that I came out ahead on the day rollin’ 1-1 ATS and finally livin’ up to my name and hittin’ a 3 team teaser. But I look like a 12 year old at a porno shoot compared to what Greggy G has been doing. Let me just say….Congrats Mr. MFin Gamble! Double G continued his dominance on the college gridiron moving his unblemished record to 8-0 ATS yesterday. He told me tell you fools he luvs Ciny (pick) cause The Vince drama has f*cked w/ their heads...we ain't talkin' Entourage!

Click Here for the rest of his Sunday Funday Picks

Looks like my fair lady Jessica is up for another day together w/ T-Bone!!

On to Week 2 of the NFL. I’ve gotta tell you that there are a couple teams, the Colts and the Chargers, that have their backs against the proverbial wall today. What would it mean to the AFC if 2 of their top 3 teams started out 0-2, and the other has to go the rest of the year with a starting QB(Cassell) that didn’t even start a single college football game. I call that a backdoor invitation for the NFC to prove what they have, not unlike your lady being drunk enough to say ‘okay, I’ll try it one time’, you know you have to take advantage while the opportunity is there.

And I have to tell you that I don’t feel like either the Colts or the Chargers are gonna walk away with a win today. Indy plays at Minnesota, and the only thing that keeps ‘em in this game is if Bob Sanders carries the defense on his shoulders and figures out a way to slow down Adrian Peterson. I do like something in this game, check it out HERE. As for the Chargers, LT will get his yards, but Denver at home after scoring 41 last week is about as scary as your momma dancin’ in the living room(U think I haven’t seen it, this video is Mmmm, Mmmm, GOOD).

We are just full of items that cover today....

Continue reading "INSIDEPLAYS NFL ATS PICKS" »

September 15, 2008

Home of Greggy G's 67% ATS Gridiron Magic

Want to ignore my weekend recap & just check out Lovely Ladies &...

A former elite HS QB & collegiate RB phenom, Michael Bush is now a deadly 250 lb FB w/ crazy playmaking skills!

On Tuesday, I told you fools to disregard all the Raider jokes & predicted this team unleash a 3-headed rushing moster (McFaddon, Bush, & Fargas) that'll make teams cringe as the season wears on!

Too many Saints ended up in the Training Room last week!
(BTW, 50/50 chance that's not a Training Room table...sorry)

Unfortunetly, on Hump day I gave u my ATS pick of the Saints, only to find out half the squad was out by Sunday. At least on that day, I also told you the Sooners would beeatch-slap Willingham's boys something fierce...sorry to say it, but bye-bye Ty is coming soon!

Only a few have the skills to tease like Greggy G!

On Thursday, I was feeling friskier than Aniston without a boy-toy and came through with an easy teaser winner!

Sweater Boy didn't have too many moments like this Saturday!

And finally, I told you Fri. USC has too much speed for the Buckeyes, as well as, what NFL underdogs I thought would win. As a result, this is where ur Homeboy Greggy G stands after another week:

NCAA: 6-0 (1-0) - NFL: 3-6 (2-4) - Teasers: 3-0 (2-0)

Oklahoma (-21) ova Washington St – Win

Penn St (-21) ova Syracuse & Georgia (-1) ova South Carolina – Win
USC (-6) ova Ohio St. & Kansas (+9.5) ova S. Florida – Win

Saints (-1) ova Washington – Lose
Bills (+5.5) ova Jacksonville – Win
Cincy (pick) ova Tennessee – Lose
Broncos (+1) ova San Diego – Win
(line shifted to -1.5 by Sunday…I told ya Friday)
Lions (+3.5) ova GB – Lose
Minny (+2.5) ova Indy – Lose
Eagles (+7) ova Cowboys – TBD

With that let's breakdown the Monday Nighter:

While Romo has made some solid decisions in his career...

that doesn't mean he's the sweetest thing in Dallas 2night. In my opintion he's down the list from at least her & Donovan (READ WHY)

Continue reading "Home of Greggy G's 67% ATS Gridiron Magic" »

September 18, 2008

Home of Greggy G's NFL Week 3 ATS Luv

NCAA ATS: 6-0 - NFL ATS: 4-6 - Teasers ATS: 4-1

Before we dig into my NFL Picks, since I haven't lost on the college gridiron, I figured you might be intersted in SATURDAY'S PICKS

Like no other sport, the balance of power and momentum in the NFL is a year-by-year accomplishment. And considering the Vikings entered 2008 with the double-dip of a lethal rushing attack and possibly the best run defense in the league, as well as huge upgrades for both the passing game (WR Bernard Berrian) and pass-defense (DE Jared Allen), it was amazing the Vikings decided to enter the season with Tarvaris Jackson & Gus Frerotte as their potential playoff QBs. While they grossly overpaid for both Berrian & Allen, those are the types of moves you make when you feel your just a player or two away.

Just like every young swimsuit model should spent time w/ the timeless MARISA MILLER, every young QB needs the same mentorship...& that's not Tarvaris's fault!

Surprisingly, I’m probably in the minority in thinking Jackson could be legit down the line, but considering his collegiate development was at Alabama St. and he’s never had an experienced vet to learn from (ala Aaron Rodgers), I honestly believe Minnesota put the youngster in a lose/lose situation. As for the well-traveled back-up, while Frerotte is a harmless fellow (except when he’s knocking himself out after banging his head on a stadium wall) and a decent emergency option, he’s lost more games than he’s won along his journey, has a lower career comp% than the 25 year-old from Bama St., and at 37…should we really expect to see him improve on a career QB-rating surpassed by Patrick Ramsey, Damon Huard, and only 2-pts higher than Cleo Lemon?

When he's the opponent, Spazhomme is a douchebag. But if he was my QB, I'd absolutely love his intenstiy!

As for the fiery Panthers, weekly NFL match-ups usually comes down to who has more passion, desperation, confidence, & less players dealing with babies from groupies from week-to-week. While Del-spaz-homme’s complaining and chest-thumps are almost comical and extremely annoying when your squad is playing against them, his teammates seem to rally around his fervor and respect how he approaches each game. Especially after missing most of last season and the uncertainty of how is career might end after elbow surgery, Spazhomme seems poised to prove the Panthers still have the magic from a few years back. Throw-in the return of the toughest pound-4-pound player on the gridiron & the intensity he’s built-up from sitting out, and I expect Carolina to take the moxy of both their leaders & head out the Metrodome tunnel with a playoff-type intensity.

While some cats need things supersized, like Jake's favorite WR, I appreciate the smaller things in Miranda Kerr

As for the actual gridiron match-ups, the Vikings secondary has the unfortunate combo of being below average in coverage and slow to make-up ground. Stevie Smith should open things up even more for a Panthers squad already utilizing the skills of Muhsin Muhammad (11 rec, 115 yrds), Dante Rosario (8 rec, 102 yrds), & D.J. Hackett (6 rec, 70 yrds) underneath. Throw-in an extra safety dropping back to shadow the superstar playmaker and the run game should find some room if it can get past the first level of defense.

Only Greggy G can compare Muhammed's comments to this!

Quick Side Note, for all the uproar in Bearland regarding Mushin’s comment: “Chicago is where WRs go to die!” , just like a chick entering a Wet T-shirt contest is doomed for the stripper pole, please tell me how Moose's theory is one iota wrong?

While Minny has a stout run defense..(KEEP READING 2 FIND OUT)

Continue reading "Home of Greggy G's NFL Week 3 ATS Luv" »

September 21, 2008


Ummm, excuse me Dr. 85, but it appears there is an NFL season happening that you should check in to....

Teasin' T-Bone's NFL Record:
NFL ATS: 3-1 Parlays: 0-1

Sunday Funday fellas, time for the big boys to strap it up and put the women and children to bed. To get right to my picks, CLICK HERE. But if U truly appreciate my favorite pics, keep on reading.

BAM, BAM, BAM! I just spilled my mimosa..

Before we get too deep into it, while you were sitting around sippin’ a toddy yesterday, did you happen to see that Greggy G kept on rolling? He managed to knock out another undefeated CFB ATS weekend to take his ’08 record to 9-0 ATS and 5-1 on Teasers. When you throw in my +.500 stats, it means that InsidePlays has provided you 19 free ATS wins to only 8 losses.

She's beggin' for more Double G & T-Bone! It's all yours!

I don’t know about you, but I call that rollin’ deep, and damn good reason to keep comin’ back. Since we are stroking Greggy like he is Jessica Simpson’s sweater kittens,

Perfection is the only word that comes to mind.

you better check out his NFL winna’s RIGHT HERE!!

I mentioned last Sunday that the AFC may have went from dominance to mediocrity early in the season. Let me continue that thought with what I have deemed to be my week 3 oddities.

-The Patriots are 2-0(no surprise), but they’ve done it with a backup that hadn’t started since high school.
-The Titans are 2-0 sans Vince Young
-The Broncos have scored 80 pts in 2 games, that’s 18 more than the Chargers with 62, and 47 more than the whole friggin’ state of Ohio(Cincy 17, Cleveland 16).
-The Colts have just 31 pts, which has basically been their pts/gm avg since Y2K.
-The Chargers were suppose to cruise thru the West and into the playoffs, they have started 0-2.
-The AFC still has 7 teams w/o a win, compared to only 4 in the NFC.

Is the NFC gonna back door the AFC this year?

On to my Sunday Funday winners…..

Pittsburgh @ Philly -3.5

Even though they walked away from Dallas with a loss….

Continue reading "INSIDEPLAYS NFL ATS WINNA'S!!!" »

September 22, 2008

Greg Gamble's Monday Night ATS Magic

NCAA: 9-0 (3-0) - NFL: 4-7 (0-1) - Teasers: 6-2 (2-2)
And congrats to TEASIN' T-BONE for a perfect ATS Sunday

Why would you pay a dime for expect picks when Greggy G continues to dominate the Pigskin World for free! Seriously, a documented 9-0 ATS on the College Gridiron & winning nearly 7 of 10 overall, better take advantage before the gambling world gets their filthy rich hands on my services. And the thing about this past Saturday, I have to admit it was almost too easy…Angry Gators easily ova Fulmer’s fading program, Nick Satan’s hyped-up Tide ova the new era in Hogland, and pass-happy Zona all over UCLA’s rebuilding mess (touch me here for proof). Throw-in a Baylor/Florida teaser started on Friday Night & the weekend party expenses were null-in-void for yours truly. As for my results at the professional level, if you count my NFL Teaser results, I’m actually sitting at .500 & poised for a nice lil run. But before we get the ATS pimp-ride revved-up for tonight’s Monday Nighter, let’s take a quick look at some interesting NFL notes from yesterday.

The Quinn Era should already be underway!

1. For Derek Anderson’s sake…at least he got paid!
When teams were taking the Browns lightly early last year, Anderson jumped out the gate with some gaudy numbers as Braylon Edwards & Kellen Winslow found plenty of mismatches against the NFL defensive bottom feeders (Bengals, Rams, Dolphins, & Raiders). But as the season wore-on, teams began to crash the pocket on the immobile QB and forced him to throw underneath. As result, the 6-5 former Beaver struggled with his touch and looked extremely pedestrian the final weeks of the season (last 3 games: 53 comp%, 3 TDs, & 4 Ints). Fast forward to 2008 following an off-season where management grossly overpaid DA and expectations for the Dawg Pound were sky high, and the Cinderella of last season seems unable to handle the pressure and appears to be looking for her glass slipper while getting double-teamed from behind (2008 stats: 135 yrds/gm, 46 comp%, 2 TD, 5 Int). The Brady Quinn Era should have started during the 3rd quarter yesterday, but just like the reason Romeo will probably be around next year, money seems to be running this show.

She would've had a better chance distracting Griese than the entire Bear pass rush...and I like pink!

2. Bears Rush as useful as Travis Henry’s Sex Ed Teacher?
While the vibe in Chicagoland has Bear fans looking to castrate Peanut Tillman following his ridiculous personal-foul penalty, the reason Lovie’s squad pissed away another double-digit lead was Brian Griese dropped back 70 times yesterday and was sacked zero times! I know most of the plays were quick reads, but seriously, that’s like failing to score at a Pool Party hosted by T.T. Boy. The ball has bounced the Bears way early this season and they’ve still found ways to loose…and my guess is the gridiron gods won’t be too helpful from here on out. I’ve already circled the Eagles this week as I fully expect a Chicago-native to abuse a secondary without much depth, while Jim Johnson’s blitz packages will be a nightmare for the Bears patchwork line!

Marc will be runnin' 4 his life all year...until he's injured!

3. The former “Greatest Show on Turf” will be winless in 08!
While Matt Millen’s a fool and the Lions D is awful, at least a couple weeks this season they’ll throw a few bombs that Calvin Johnson or Roy Williams will come down with to eek out a victory or two. As for the Rams, nobody in the league has a worse collection of talent in the trenches on both sides of the ball, while the few veterans left already seem to be preserving their body for next year. Watching a Seahawks squad use grocery store employees at WRs dissect the Rams Sunday was an embarrassment, and I’d be shocked if Coach Linehan is still manning the sideline by next week.

The Rams vets remind me of a couple Cougars that just lost a wet-T-shirt contest..."WHY THE F*CK AM I HERE!"

So far this season the Rams are allowing a league-worst 456 yrds/gm, allowing opponents to rush at a plus-five average, and have only mustered 3 sacks without a single pick thru 3 games. As for the offense, considering they needed a 15-yard run from Stephen Jackson yesterday to finally move their ypc average above 3 and are only averaging 200 total yards a game (which is even more ridiculous considering they’ve been down huge in each contest), my guess is a lil turf-toe might be in Stephen Jackson’s future sometime soon.

With that, time for my MONDAY NIGHT ATS PLAY
Even though Sproles might be shorter than these shorts...

Continue reading "Greg Gamble's Monday Night ATS Magic" »

September 24, 2008

ATS Pigskin, Lovely Ladies, & Sports Banter

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008 PIGSKIN PICKS - 19-10 ATS...66%NCAA: 9-0 - NFL: 4-7 - Teasers: 6-3 - Hotties: 77-0
* For yesterday's NCCA ATS selection for the weekend...CLICK HERE

After seeing this picture a couple years ago, I'm totally shocked Millen didn't work out in the Motor City.

At the same time, I was also shocked to hear these two have already been to 2nd base & aren't even married yet!

Moving along and skipping ova the idiocy of Coach Linehan making Marc Bulger a scapegoat for his own inefficiencies, I present to you:

Greg Gamble's ATS Sunday Funday Play O the Day!

Running ova the Lions & Chiefs is little bit different than running against the Panthers on their own grass!

I know investing on Fox last week burned me worse than a dirty college Beaver, but the home-cooking in Carolina should be a perfect remedy following the Panthers first loss. Especially with the feisty Stevie Smith looking to prove his return to the line-up can make them a legit Super Bowl contender, look for Del-Spaz-Homme to get the explosive WR and fans going early with plenty of passion!

What more intimidating, Bree or Stevie coming-off a loss?

While the Falcons look nice in the morning paper sitting at 2-1, considering both wins came at home against the dreadful Lions & and the embarrassment that is the KC Chiefs, a trip outdoors to face a riled-up Panthers squad is probably not what a rookie QB needs. Against an average Bucs squad on grass in week 2, Matt Ryan completed under 40% of his passes as the offense only musted 234 total yards w/out scoring a TD (L 24-9). As for how their D faired, considering E. Graham only gained 16 yards on 12 carries against the Bears last week, you think Fox & Co. circled the 6.1 ypc average Graham & Dunn combined for against Hot-Lanta? Especially after playing against arguable the best run defense in the league (Minny), the thunder & lightning combo of Williams & Stewart should find bigger holes than those young ladies employed at Vivid Entertainment.

Peppers has always looked solid against Hot-Lanta...and that was when he was chasing Ronny Mexico!

As for Carolina’s defense, while it’s never a good sign when you lose to a guy named Gus, the Panthers held the Vikings lethal rushing attack to a 3.7 average. While they did look a little surprised on some of Minny’s deep balls & their new look under center, the Falcons run a similar run-dominated offense with the threat of a HR-pass so look for Carolina to look much more comfortable this week. And considering Julius Peppers is way overdue for a monster game, look for the former Tar Heel to make the rookie QB pay for holding onto the ball too long.

Just like how these ladies feel at home at the beach, look for the Panthers offense to look to sharp in Charlotte!

And finally back to the Carolina O, Greggy G guarantees Stevie Smith is pointing to the sky after at least one TD. Back on their home grass w/ a 2nd week of Stevie in the offense, I expect Del-Spaz-homme to come out throwing to loosen-up the defense before looking to J. Stewart to gash the middle of the defense. Overall, ATL has been spoiled by playing two terrible teams on their turf & a Bucs squad in the middle of a QB-change (Griese). Especially with Carolina coming off a loss, Fox will have his boys riled-up to take the lead in the division as they easily handle an overmatched young Falcons squad.

Did I mention the passion of the Panthers Cheerleaders...

Remember the intensity from these 2 outside the stadium & in a Tampa washroom? If you do, u know what I mean!

Final Score: FALCONS 13 PANTHERS 27

As for another college gridiron play & more ladies...CLICK HERE

Continue reading "ATS Pigskin, Lovely Ladies, & Sports Banter" »

September 28, 2008


Someone should be arrested for the debacle yesterday!

NFL Pigskin Record:
ATS: 5-1 Parlays: 0-1 Teasers: 1-0

Teasin’ T-Bone comin’ at you hot and heavy on Sunday Funday, and for those that dialed up InsidePlays yesterday, you witnessed first hand the absolute worst outing of the season for both Greggy G and myself. It just so happened that our worst day lined up with a weekend that saw 9 ranked teams lose(3 in the top 5), and Toledo who almost took Fresno out last week got mopped up by Florida International at home, and FIU has been fighting for braggin’ rights to be the worst team in the nation.

The bad comes in bunches, but so does the good!!

The silver lining in the whole deal….I fell asleep last night like every other night, woke up this morning w/ my traditional Sunday headache, and looked at my pre-circled NFL action that gives me confidence that all the heartache will be gone by 8pm tonight.

Hang onto your hat, cuz Double G is comin' proper like!

Greggy G has something to say about today as well, if you want to see what he has to say about Carolina, CLICK HERE!!

Can anyone say 'Albino Bengal'?

I have 3 picks for you today, so lets get to it.

Cleveland @ Cincinnati -3.5

Both of these squads are sitting at 0-3, however….

Continue reading "TEASIN' T-BONE'S NFL ATS PICKS" »

October 3, 2008

Chicago Misery & Gridiron ATS Picks

NCAA: 9-2 - NFL: 5-8 - Teasers: 6-4 - Hotties: 221-0

After waxing a cocky USC squad, the Beavers easily covered again last night for yours truly...too bad I couldn't enjoy it!

While I should have been celebrating after winning the 1st part of my NCAA teaser as the Moose Knuckles rolled last night (Beavers +17.5), the Windy City sports vibe has me more depressed than when I realized my Debbie Does Dallas CD had a fatal scratch. And even before we even arrived at playoff baseball yesterday, the Bears announced the once great Tommie Harris was suspended for missing a rehab stint to deal with one of the common traits among Chicago Bears...little tikes out of wedlock. Even more disturbing was Lance Briggs comment to the media that Tommie knows what to do, and if he doesn't...he can just ask me (or my fellow white LBer).

I know seeing this could be tempting Tommie, but that doesn't mean you don't wear a hat or pull the goalie!

How quickly the Bears DT has fallen. The jovial manchild was considered by many as the most dominate interior lineman by the start of his 2nd season, but after numerous injuries and taking lesson from Brian Urlacher on how to alienate a fandom trying to luv you, he leads my list of Chicago athletes needing a new address.

Since Oz has the look way too often w/ Javy on the mound...

I agree with her, we should've had a REAL starting pitcher to open this playoff series!

Starting on the Southside, while I wasn't suprised Javier Jazquez was treated like a mail-order bride yesterday (since Javy was the 1st pitcher in 25 years to open a playoff series with 16 losses and had pitched like shiznit recently), the fact the Sox continue to discuss how a 32 year-old needs to mature on the mound and stop losing concentration is like being suprised Heather Locklear has mental issues after spending her entire hot-azz life dating degenerate rockers. Adios Javier...don't let the Camaro door hit you in the azz on the way out!

I started to sour on Double Play Derek after this effort!

As for the Cubbies, this is tough to stomach cause I've always liked the guy, but no matter how solid Derek Lee's numbers look, he's about as clutch as my azz the first time lil Greggy G got lucky...I barely had my Zubaz down before I lost my swimmers! Please end the madness & depression I feel when D-Lee grounds into another DP (btw, DP is somwhat overrated unless both objects are mine) or swings at low outside him for a Lee that actually has some confidence!

With that, I give you my alternative list of favorite Lee's!

The always lucky and confident Hyori Lee, or...

Jennifer Nicole Lee and her confident smile, or

My fav & proven winna Miss Korea Honey Lee!

And speaking of trading a Cubbie for someone else...
Kosuke fans now have his handband around their necks!

Maybe there's a chance we can trade him for...
...another Fukudome...that is Fukudome Yuko!

Alrighty, enough depressing sports banter! Time 2 jump back 2 the ATS Wonderland of Greggy G...and hotties of course!

Continue reading "Chicago Misery & Gridiron ATS Picks" »

October 5, 2008


To go straight to my Sunday Funday pick, CLICK HERE, but trust me, it ain't as fun as the whole ride!!!

The question of the day...who falls on their head today?

NFL Pigskin Record:
ATS: 5-3 Parlays: 0-1 Teasers: 2-0

Let me start today by stating one simple thing….I hate the SEC!!! For the 2nd week in a row I put all of my faith(and my cabbage) on the east side of the nation, and the bottom line is that they have left me crying in the shower like I just went down on a she-male. But I’m not worried, cuz Sunday Funday continues to show me the way and makes sure that I can take my baby mama somewhere other than Mickey D’s.

When I take my lady out for some fine dining, the after dinner treat is always to my liking!

And one of the reasons the NFL has been so good is cuz I’ve rode my homey Greggy G like a rented mule. This weekend he has already banked on Ohio State, cleaned up on an Oregon St/Texas Tech teaser, and now has much luv for the Sunday Bucaneers(CLICK HERE TO READ UP!)

Don't cry, the Cubbies still have a bright future!

Before I dive into my pick of the day, I have to make a statement to my fan base that has more Cubbies shirts than button downs. Disappointment is inevitable, and they did just waste an opportunity at something great, but lets not forget that they have made the playoffs 2 straight years, and by dominating the regular season they have shown that they talent in the dugout. Pinella is the right answer for them, he is proven and will continue to build this team going into next year. All I ask is that as a Cubs fan you don’t get jumpy, support the team and support the coach as they build for next year, cuz I’ve been a Cubbies fan for many years and I like what I’ve seen the last few years!

I know you came for football, so pretend you're astro-turf and dig in!

Now that I have neatly folded my Cubbies shirt and put it in the bottom drawer until April, lets get to the Pigskin Pros.

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October 6, 2008

Monday Night ATS Magic by Greggy G

NCAA: 10-2 - NFL: 6-8 - Teasers: 7-4 - Hotties: 341-0
My NCAA Pick...My Teaser Pick...My NFL Pick...I'm frickin good

Your my boy Sage, but what the F*ck were you thinkin'?

While my alma mater had a horrible weekend as Iowa State pissed away a 20-0 halftime lead to #16 Kansas & Sage Rosenfels followed it up with the biggest choke I’ve ever witnessed, I selfishly had a phenomenal 3-0 ATS weekend…and saw the most bizarre Chicago bar scene Saturday Night as the Cubbies crapped down their leg.

I saw plenty of Cub fans Saturday that could've used a therapy session on this chair!

The Cubbie faithful wandered around the watering holes like Zombies and I swear I saw double-digits females crying. On the Southside, thanks to Dwayne “Babe Ruth” Wise, the Sox should even the series today, but heading down to the Trop for Game 5 seems like a tough task to handle. As for what else I saw this weekend…

Nobody is more fun to watch than Mr. Crabtree!

The Red Raiders have the best football player in the country in WR Michael Crabtree. While he’s not the tallest, strongest, or fastest, nobody in college has the natural instincts to make the right move every single time…with or without the ball in his hands. After making 134 catches for 1962 yards & 22 TDs as a freshman, Crabtree has become an even better player this season as he’s developed into a dominate blocker for Tech’s emerging ground game. Call me crazy, but for some reason I don’t think they’ll pull their annual 2nd half collapse & will head to Oklahoma on Nov. 22 undefeated.

She has the same look Marinelli had yesterday!

The Detroit Lions are the worst team I’ve ever seen in the NFL. Watching their head coach Rod Marinelli stare-up at the clock every single time his squad botches another play is beyond hilarious and I swear he looks like my old High School janitor. If he’s not fired by next week there should be a frickin investigation!

I think she's pissed because she listened to me & bet the top of her swimsuit the Bears wouldn't win 8 games!

As for the Bears, I still don’t think they’re any good, but neither is anyone in their division. My bet of the Bears Unda 8 wins has me a little nervous, but lucky for me I’ve dominated this season like Rocco Siffredi in the Ass Collector and can afford a little hiccup! With that, let’s look at the MONDAY NIGHTER to see if yours truly can go a perfect 4-0 ATS this week…

Continue reading "Monday Night ATS Magic by Greggy G" »

October 9, 2008


NCAA: 10-2 - NFL: 7-8 - Teasers: 7-4 - Hotties: 518-0
For Thursday Night's play Touch Me - For Saturday's play Touch Me
...or just keep reading for my NFL Sunday Funday Bears Special!

The Bears might be in trouble Sunday…and I'm blaming Roy!

One of the most ridiculous trends I dug-up this season is how horrific teams play offensively following their date/win against Detroit. Opponents average 37 ppg against the pathetic lil Lions, but the following week, those teams average a measly 14 ppg…and did I mention they’ve lost each and every one of those games?!

Her whip-cream friend could light-up the Lions!
Sorry, didn't mean to post Ali fault!

Just like having your 1st bump-n-grind experience w/ a slutty chick tryin' to gain your attention, and then following it up by dating a prude that acts like it tickles when you touch her ova her jeans…suddenly you don’t fell like Casanova anymore. The stats are so staggering you have to believe teams are overconfident after dismantling a defensive that would struggle to stop a John Moxon led West Canaan Coyotes squad.

After running ova the Lions for 34 points to open the season, ATL only scored 9 points at Tampa the following week!

While I believe Chicago's defense has the ability to buck the losing trend, their young offense might be in for a culture shock…and not only because the Falcons have been fierce up-front, but because of the noise & hype in Hot-Lanta. From all reports, Lovie’s squad received more cheers last week than Kitna’s crew as the crowd had more fun mocking a team that might be the only NFL or NCAA squad better suited having not fired Marty Mornhinweg…and that’s not a compliment Marty. As a result, I’m heading to the ATS window w/ this lil gem…

Just like her idea with the candles, I expect the passion to be much crazier in the Hot-Lanta Dome!

Two teams many gurus, including yours truly, thought would struggle to reach six wins face-off for a Sunday Funday battle with playoff implications. While the artist formerly know has Krazy “Drunk on the Internet” Kyle seems to have matured into a legitimate NFL QB, my guess is Ron Turner dials down the offense in the loud-azz Georgia Dome and keeps the ball in Forte’s hands. With two powerful rushing attacks, field-position will be huge on Sunday so expect the clock to be rolling twice as fast as normal…perfect for an unda play!

While the Falcons run game is extremely solid, this proves anything can be contained with a lil effort!

While Michael The Bowling Ball Burner Turner has been a game changer and Jerious Norwood is a perfect compliant, the Bears rank 4th in the NFL against the rush and do not allow many big plays (longest run allowed – 25 yards). The scariest aspect of the Falcons offense has been the deep-play threats of Roddy White & Michael Jenkins after teams have been lulled to sleep by the run. Luck for Chicago, with the big pulsating-brain of Mike Brown running the show in the secondary, I’m confident they’ll keep those two speedsters in-front of them.

When's the next time we'll actually see this on a return?

And finally, while special teams always is an ova/unda killa, Devin Hester doesn’t seem to be the same threat in the return game. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still capable of the HR, but he's been a lil tentative of late & might be concentrating more on his WR-play. Considering the monetary incentives he receives for catching the pigskin, maybe the reckless abandon he ran w/ in the past has been tempered. As for ATL, they’ve yet to return a kick/punt for a TD & rank dead last in punt return average. I know, I know…my analysis is sick so feel free to tell your friends about the legend that is Greggy MFin G!

Final Score: FALCONS 20 BEARS 17

As for the Thursday Night's battle between Clemson & Wake Forest, you know how I luv to breakdown great athletes! (touch me here)


October 12, 2008


NFL Pigskin Record:
ATS: 5-4 Parlays: 0-1 Teasers: 3-0
For Greg Gamble’s NFL pick of the day, Touch Me

At least we still have the ladies when the college boyz let us down. Thanks for the disappointment Arizona St, LSU, Auburn, Michigan, Wisconsin, etc.

Week 6 of this fine NFL pigskin season moves me to chat about two topics…facts and trends. I’m gonna spill some knowledge on you that will give you a feel for why I do what I do, but the beautiful part is that after it all you can simply say…T-Bone, you’re one of the coolest guys I know, but your still full of shit. So lets dig in and see if we can walki away with some lettuce.

This guy takes Sunday Funday to a whole new level!

Lets first break it down by home dogs and home favorites. The home dogs have only covered 36% of the time in the last 3 weeks, while the favorites have covered 51% of the time. That leads me to pretty much ignore anyone who is a home favorite for right now. When you look even deeper, those home dogs from even to +5 have only covered 29% of the time, +5 to +10 is 33% of the time, and over +10 is 100%(only one game, I believe the Fins/Pats if my memory serves me correctly, damn bong resin).

Time to look in the mirror and see if u like what u see!

So I am gonna focus in on any game that has the home team between even and +10. Today brings us 3 games….Falcons +3.5 against the Bears, 49ers +5.5 against the Eagles, and the Cardinals +5.5 against the Cowboys. There is a fourth on Monday w/ the Browns +8.5 against the Giants, so keep your eyes peeled on the action today to give you a feel for tomorrow(remember it is all about trends!!) So one of the 3 games is going to have the home team cover if the trend continues, which I think it will.

Home whites and home dogs, only in football is it a bad thing...maybe straps and fishnet would help!

In my mind the Falcons have the best chance of covering cuz they are 2-0 at home and have a ground game that puts up nearly 200 yds/game, so they can control the game and the crowd on their own turf. The Cardinals are 2-0 at home as well, however they have an aging QB and running back that are both going to run out of steam soon, and Boldin is on the sideline with a head injury, oh yeah, they also play the Cowboys who are 3 points short of a perfect season.

But the game I like the most.....

Continue reading "TEASIN' T-BONE'S NFL ATS PICKS" »

October 13, 2008

Monday Night ATS Magic & Friendly Faces

NCAA: 10-4 - NFL: 8-8 - Teasers: 8-5 - Hotties: 644-0
To skip to my Monday Night ATS Pick (ur missin' out) Touch Me Here

Before we roll to my Monday Night Extravaganza, let’s hit-up a few weekend thoughts to get those hazy brains of my loyal degenerates fired-up (BTW, good riddance to Clemson's Tommy Bowden…you’ve cost my kids at least a year of college ova the years!):

What, u pointing at ur monstrous overpriced contract Tommie?

Bears Coaching Staff treated like a Newbie in Van Nuys, CA
To start, while the unda play was closer than I would’ve liked, I’ll take an ATS victory anyway I can get it...not counting playing catcher for my book As for the craziness in Hot-Lanta, the first move that had me screaming at the TV was Lovie’s decision to go-for-it on 4th & goal down two scores with half a quarter to play. I know the Bears somehow made it work as the Falcons forgot how to run-out the clock & Kyle “Joe Montana” Orton continued his unexpected march to Canton, but how do you make that call still needing another score? I don’t care what you tell me…it’s almost as idiotic as Marty Mornhinweg’s decision to kick-off after winning the toss in OT a few years back.

Hey Robbie G, I bet (legally of course) she could have performed a better squibber in her shoes than ur azz!

Secondly, the sports-radio hatred regarding the squib kick doesn’t hold much weight in my bloodshot eyes. The problem was not the decision, but Robbie “As good as Gould…except on squibbers” execution. Instead of lasering a chopper to a vacant spot, just like when I play kickball with the neighbor kids when their parents are watching, he basically just hit a lazy dribbler directly to WR Harry Douglas (BTW, does it make me a loser that every time I hear “Harry Douglas” I laugh like a lil schoolgirl? BTW2, when the neighbor kid’s parents aren’t watching, I riffle it like Tony Meola and hustle them for every last Ju-Ju Bee!). Don’t blame Lovie Homeboys, blame the MFin kicker!

While Matt Ryan's ball sailed like a pretty bird, how the hell did the Bears not expect the Falcons to run that route?

And finally, the Bears defensive scheme on the final play was beyond horrendous. The only chance the Falcons had was for a 30-yard out, but for some reason there wasn’t a Bear anywhere near that extremely predictable sideline pattern. I’ll even support the crazy-azz fans that wanted a DB to “chuck” or attempt to receive a holding penalty after a few seconds rolled off the clock, rather than provide no-pass rush and instruct the secondary to play against the Hail Mary. While my victory on the unda tempered my anger, let’s just say Lovie’s decisions might be the reason the Bears fail to make the playoffs…and at least gives me a chance on my unda 8 wins on Chicago’s season.

Maybe you should have spent the last 7 years practicing something else Mr. Clipboard?

Matt Cassell’s worse for the Pats D than the O
Put a frickin fork in the Pats playoff chances! I know they’ve been out in Caly longer than a former Community College girl who’s trying the Hollywood scene after some convincing from a talent scout to try plastic implants, but last night’s performance confirmed what many of us already knew…substituting a HS starter for Gisele’s boy-toy makes a world of difference...even for the Socrates of Coaching (BTW, I luv how the Hooded-Wonder’s smug-smirk has transformed into the look of a former Prom King’s distain for a computer-geek stepson.) Without Brady the offense is no longer controlling the tempo or forcing opponents to play catch-up, and as a result, the defense no-longer looks like savvy veterans and simply looks AARP old. Not only are the old-geezers spending more time on the field, but they’ve been forced to stop the run past the 1st quarter.

While I'd be happy if I was Tom Brady and had to stay at home, I don't think Vrabel, Bruschi, & Seau are?

Last season, the Patriots would jump-out to an early led and force the opponents into a pass-happy attack, which enabled the linebackers to use their experience to confuse opposing QBs with unique blitz schemes and coverage drops. Now, with Cassell looking more overwhelmed than a virgin at the Playboy Mansion and unable to move the chains, teams can exploit NE's young secondary early in the game and utilize a power rushing attack late to cripple their aging LBs. As for the genius of Mr. Belichick, let’s just say without Bundchen’s bump-n-grind mate he’s looking more like the coach that was sub-.500 before the Wolverine took over the reigns of his teams.

While he's already a superstar in the Track world...
...he's quickly becoming a superstar on the gridiron!

Baylor’s FR QB will be a Heisman Winner before leaving Waco
The 6-3 son of a retired Army sergeant, Robert Griffin enrolled in Baylor early after dominating the HS classroom like he does any surface of his choice. After spring football practice where he wrestled away the starting QB-job from 8th year & former Miami (FL) QB Kirby Freeman and last year’s starter Jr. Blake Szymanski, while most HS seniors were tying to convince underclassman to bump-uglies at prom Griffin ran track for the Unviristy…and what do you know, the cat finished 3rd in the 400-hurdles at the NCCA Outdoor track championship.

Just like her, I'm guessin' Griffin looks just as nice on sand!

As for the pigskin, early this season Griffin looked like the former Hokie & Dog-hating Ronny Mexico with his legs as an absolutely perfect fit for Art Briles's spread-style offense. This weekend, following a 102 2 TD rushing performance against Oklahoma, Iowa State was geared to stopping the phenom & forced the Copperas Cove native to put the ball in the air. The result…a Bears 38-10 victory as Griffin was 21-24 for 278 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT & barely made an attempt to run the pill. Before you call me crazy for predicting a Heisman victory by 2010, watch the magician on gridiron…it’s Must MFing See TV!

Continue reading "Monday Night ATS Magic & Friendly Faces" »

October 14, 2008

Daily ATS Pigskin Banter & Lovely Ladies

NCAA: 10-4 - NFL: 8-8 - Teasers: 8-6 - Hotties: 682-0

I can't decide...either Marvin's laughing cause he can't believe he still has a job or cause he actually convinced the owner Cedric Benson will help them turn the corner?

Considering I have Tony Romo and Randy Moss on the same fantasy squad, maybe I should just let Marvin Lewis coach my sorry-azz bunch once he's fired next week. As for what jumped off the page at me like silicone magic from the plastic surgeon gods bouncin' on a lovely trampoline, let’s take a peak silly Homeboys:

Just like when Jarah's feeling good...

...when Andre Johnson's 100% there ain't no one better!

Complimented by a 6-3 WR (Kevin Walter) running precise routes with softer hands than a Filipino Mail-Order Masseuse, the underrated downfield abilities of TE Owen Daniels, and two solid backs (Slaton & Green), I'm convinced Matt Schaub will have the Texans back in the playoff race by mid-November considering their next two home dates are with the Lions & Bengals followed by a trip to the Metrodome!

U think the Lions will have a lil Captain in them on this's not like it can make things any worse!

Considering Detroit lost a heartbreaker down the road in Minny and have another week of catcalls from the fans, media, and their mothers, my guess is the road-trip down to Houston could turn into a disaster. How much u wanna bet a few of Rod BOOBinelli’s boys have a lil too much fun Saturday Night after curfew? Throw-in a Texans squad pumped after their 1st win of the season, and I see the Texans (-6) blowing-out the Lions on Sunday. As for what else I like…

Continue reading "Daily ATS Pigskin Banter & Lovely Ladies" »

October 15, 2008

Daily Pigksin Banter, ATS Picks, & Lingerie

NCAA: 10-4 - NFL: 8-8 - Teasers: 8-6 - Hotties: 691-0
If u want 2 skip my NFL Banter & checkout my NCAA Picks Touch Me

With Roy Williams out of Rod BOOBinelliville and onto Dallas, the underrated Crayton might not have anybody around him!

For all the clamoring Jerry Jones grabbed another head-case, gave-up too many draft picks, and immediately overpaid for the former Longhorn, nobody can dispute that the 6-3 playmaker makes Dallas a whole lot better. And after 5 years of listening to Matt Millen, Marty Mornhinweg, Rod BOOBinelli, and John Kinta, do you blame the 26 year-old for wanting out of the NFL embarrassment known as the Lions that sported a 30% win-percentage ova his 5 year career?

Brad Johnson has more options for his old arm than Hefner did when these three were still roaming the Mansion!
(Check back tomorrow to see what his new twins look like that's what we call a teaser baby!)

In only his 3rd season in Motown, Williams snagged 82 balls, scored 7 TDs, ranked 3rd in receiving yards 1310 yards (16.0 ypc) and made the Pro Bowl…don’t you think that’s a lil better than Patrick Crayton?

Let's not forget, just a few years back Mr. Elbow Pad won a Super Bowl for Chucky and the Bucs!

While his on & off-field antics have been extremely juvenile, my guess is we’ll see a new & improved Williams on his best behavior (at least for awhile) and help Dallas make the playoffs. With the explosive Marion Barber/Felix Jones backfield, a solid line, and three legit playmakers in the passing game with Witten, TO, & Roy (not to mention Barber & Jones in the flat), my guess is a savvy veteran like Brad Johnson might actually force O-Coordinator Jason Garrett to simplify the offense…something they should have done long ago.

While some worry Johnson might wear down, plenty of people still look solid when they're tired!

Call me crazy, but while Jessica Simpson’s Box ‘O Stardom and fans of flag-football heroics might be pissed about Romo’s broken digit, don’t be surprised to see the Cowboys play more consistently ova the next few weeks with the elbow-padded vet under center.

Don't worry Pacman fans...he'll be back someday!

I'm totally shocked Adam Jones was suspended again…never saw this one coming Homeboys! Seriously, forcing a cat to Make It Rain at his house while sippin on a Fresca is like my girl asking me to stop calling Sharky on Gamedays and soaking my Cheerios with a White Russian! He’ll be back…and he’ll still be good!

I have two QBs that'll be tougher to contain than these two!

Onto the ATS action, and not to anyone’s surprise, but once Vegas got a hold of my Houston Texas prediction yesterday they jacked the spread up to -9. While I’m still a fan of the play, look for my final NFL ATS picks on Thursday to see if I can't find something better for ya. Worse case scenario, Andre Johnson & Co. will be teased down to -3 for a couple plays. With that, let’s take a peak at some College ATS action upcoming and make our reservations for Sizzler…

Continue reading "Daily Pigksin Banter, ATS Picks, & Lingerie" »

October 17, 2008

College & Pro ATS Picks with Friendly Faces -For Entertainment Purposes Only Please-

NCAA: 10-4 - NFL: 8-8 - Teasers: 8-6 - Hotties: 711-0

BTW, I’m halfway home on my NCAA/NFL TEASER as the Seminoles covered last night, but if you missed it…no worries my degenerate friend. Simply tease one of your favorites w/ the Texans (-3 at home) and thank me later for the 6 free points…Houston rolls!

If you missed my Thursday Night College Teaser, don't worry...we have plenty more fun ahead for the weekend!

Considering most of you are diehard daily readers, I don’t need to tell you my NCAA ATS picks earlier this week were Ohio State -3 (paired with Buckeye red thong lingerie) & Memphis +9 (paired with tiny Tiger jean shorts) and simply owe you my Sunday Funday NFL selection:

Besides looking less like Silver Spoons star Rick Schroder, the Marshall kid also looks rejuvenated with the move to MIA!

I honestly believe the last time I invested on the Dolphins as a favorite, my girl Gauge had not yet retired from the adult industry (I luv the cinematic classic Aurora Snow vs Gauge TOUCH ME HERE to find out more on Gauge). But just like how Cougars have unexpectedly started to excite me as the years have past, I’ve also fallen for the Wildcat offense in Miami. Especially with the extremely accurate arm of Chad Pennington offsetting their unique rushing attack, the Dolphins have actually been more balanced than people think (btw, checking out the riffle on Jake Delhomme, maybe Chad should opt for Tommy John surgery in the off-season regardless).

Just like our friend, the Tuna looks much better analyzing pigskin sitting in a chair than on the sideline!

But the biggest reason to believe in the Dolphins march to mediocrity are the fingerprints that have designed the roster. While 'The Big Tuna' brought in impact players that understand his style and plays the game the right way, for all the hatred I have for Nick Satan, the Bama headmaster is one the best coaches in the country and had his hands in the Miami cookie jar for a couple years bringing-in the top collegiate talent. As a result, the foundation of the Dolphins is extremely solid and should improve with each passing week.

While Ronnie Brown has been the playmaker, Ricky's hard inside running has been the catalyst for the Wildcat O!

While the simplicity of the Wildcat offense has thrown a loop to opposing defenses (let’s put are two best runners in the backfield and not waste anytime having a slow white dude hand-off the pill), some cats forget Ronnie Brown was actually having a Pro Bowl-type season before tearing his ACL last year. Almost a year removed, Brown’s averaging a solid 4.7 per carry and actually looks fresher late in games with Ricky Williams sharing the load (60 carries so far for Smokey). While Ricky’s numbers probably hasn't impressed the novice handicappers, averaging about 4 yards a carry in the trenches has been the reason Ronnie has found nice holes outside the tackles.

Staying on the chair theme, just like Miami's unique offense, sitting in a chair the unconvential way can still be effective!

I know Ray-Ray & the veteran Ravens D leads the league in yards allowed per game, but considering their first four contests were against Cincy, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, & Tennessee…let’s just say I expect them to drop with each passing week & to wear down as the season rolls on. While Baltimore has stuffed the traditional power-rushing attacks, the collegiate twist Miami has added might lead to some big plays Sunday. On the outside, while nobody could identify WR Greg Camarillo (21 catches) on the street and speedster Ted Ginn Jr. & Hawaii’s former vacuum Davone Bass are averaging under 10 ypc, the offense calls for quick patterns on the outside to loosen things up for their underrated TEs down the middle (Anthony Fasano 15 rec, 13.9 ypc – David Martin 12 rec, 13.5 ypc) as opponents LOAD-UP IN THE BOX (someone call Vivid Entertainment, I think I have new movie title!). Especially with the entire secondary for the Ravens banged-up (Samari Rolle & Dawan Landry – Out, Ed Reed – Questionable, & Chris McAlister – Probable), look for the Thundering Herd Homeboy to find plenty of openings & improve on an already impressive 69 comp%.

As for the Ravens offense and how they match some of my Lovely Ladies...Here's the skinny TOUCH ME HERE for more ATS Magic!

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October 19, 2008


NFL Pigskin Record:
ATS: 6-4 Parlays: 0-1 Teasers: 4-0

The hogs up front don't get much luv...

Sunday Funday Beatches!! I want to start by saying thank you to our loyal fanatics, our relationship may be straining, but remember, for richer or poorer. As for the college pigskin, all I can say is that Saturdays have treated me about as well as most males treated Jenny McCarthy after they found out she got hepatitis from that boxer guy back in the ‘90’s.

But when the hogs are attached to a face like that, people start lookin'! Nice work young Tebow.

The NFL contingency have been much more consistent, and between Dr Gamble and I we are bringin’ home the bacon to finish out the weekends.
To check out Greggy’s fetish with aquatic animals, CLICK HERE!
To check out Double G’s luv for southern girls, TOUCH ME!

A Jets fan, and she luvs the flag pole, NICE!!

NY Jets -3 @ Oakland

It has been pretty clear early on what kind of a difference having a solid QB like.....

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October 20, 2008

Monday Night ATS Picks & Happiness

NCAA: 11-5 - NFL: 8-9 - Teasers: 9-6 - Hotties: 722-0
Greggy G's results this week: 2-2 ATS with Denver +3 tonight!

It's Black n White boys...unlike Dicky Belichick, I've been w/out her boyfriend for years & still have a winning record!

From the evil-hatred that entered my cell phone yesterday, I guess .500 ATS for the weekend is unacceptable considering my status in the Handicapping World….c'mon my friends, give me a break, I still have the Broncos tonight to push me into the green. And don’t blame my azz cause ur unwilling to tease. From what I've heard...Money, Women and Teasin' make the world go round. Actually, considering my record without Tom Brady is 28-20 while Coach Gym Sweatshirt is 40-66 without Gisele’s Boyfriend, I apologize to nobody.

Somewhere along the way this cat morphed from this...

...into this. Congrats Mr. Orton, you the shiznit!

Briefly on the Bears, congrats on the win and thanks for the entertaining drunk flag-football contest, but honestly…that was uglier than foreshadowing Pamela & Tommy’s saggy sex video at age 60. Even with the artist formerly known as Krazy Kyle looking more and more like a fringe Pro Bowler, if Brad Childress & the Vikings weren’t the most undisciplined self-destructive team in the league the Bears would’ve lost. That being said, with the lousy state of the division and a perfectly-placed Bye Week to revive the secondary, tough to see how they don’t battle with Green Bay till the very end...good luck

Just like Kate, no matter if he was wearing home or road colors tonight, I think Cutler's a picture perfect choice!

I know many gridiron gurus believe this stat is overhyped, but in my opinion, screw those fools…the great-Billy Belichick’s record is 16 games unda-.500 without Tommy B unda-center! For all the geniusness he supposedly possesses, nobody can convince me he’s actually better than the man coaching across the field tonight. Just like the smug Dicky B, Mike Shanahan has won a couple World Titles with a Hall of Fame QB, but unlike Bill “if you're not cheating, you're not trying” Belichick, he’s actually had plenty of playoff opportunities without one.

You might like this look...

...but I'd rather take this!

You also might think this is hot...

...but I'd rather give her the "Hotness" crown!

As a result, while I’ll give you some technical breakdowns on why the Broncos win outright a lil later, in the simplest form…Two solid coaches & teams, with one possessing a Pro Bowl-QB and the other a career clipboard-QB. I’ll delve deeper into how the Broncos-offense is more dangerous than Las Vegas during NBA All-Star Weekend and the Pats defense/age is not equipped to staying on the field because of a stagnate offense, but honestly, all you need to know is Cassell can’t hang with what the Broncos put on the board.

No disrespect, but Belichick without Brady kind of reminds me of Lindsay Lo without the fun party-girl act...

...just another red-head in a bathing suit!
For more Pats/Broncos Breakdowns & Bikinis...TOUCH ME HERE

Continue reading "Monday Night ATS Picks & Happiness" »

October 24, 2008

Greggy G's Weekend ATS Pigskin Picks

NFL: 8-10 - NCAA: 12-6 - Teasers: 9-6 - Hotties: 752-0
Just want my College ATS Pick - Just want my NFL ATS Pick

Even though the skinny Tuberville always walks tall, will he look this good when he's asked to leave stage right!

One Tommy (Bowden) gone and another Tommy (Tubberville) soon to be out the door. You remember what happened last time Greggy G lost on Thursday Night...yeah, that’s right, I pulled some strings and the next thing you know ESPN was reporting Clemson's looking for a new headmaster. My favorite last night, besides the leftover Pinot I dumped in my Diet Coke, was when the booth glorified Tubberville as a “River Boat Gambling”-guru after his kicker grabbed the on-side kick in the 1st half. Seriously guys? You know who usually calls plays like that…teams that can’t frickin’ move the ball on offense!

Did somebody put some happy shrooms in his medamucil, but he's gone from salty to silly & sassy overnight!?

Speaking of the booth, I don’t care if you can’t understand what he says or get distracted cause you can’t stop thinking about how much grandpa-spit is on Mark May’s stat sheets, Holtz is frickin’ hilarious! And I hated the salty coach & absolutely loved watching him lose back in the day. But now, he always seems like he just sipped an Old Fashioned and is giggling cause someone put Viagra & a whoopie cushion in his X-Mas stocking. About 15% of the time he gives some witty coaching BS, but not to worry, the other 85% he acts like a happy grandpa and spends the night mocking his ole coaching habits & trying to make May laugh…now that’s what I call a priceless ol geezer!

Alrighty, enough Coffee talk, time to hit-up the daily line specials for the weekend. Considering I already gave you Saturday’s ATS play, I just owe you my Sunday selection, as well as my personal fav…


There's something that always feels right about starting off the weekend w/ a Friday night college teaser!
*BTW, I'm off to Ames this weekend to watch two of the most disappointing teams in the Big 12...ISU & A&M. Someone please find my frickin' flask!


The Broncos have undoubtedly become the most consistent BCS threat from the 2nd tier of conferences & have proven they can play with anybody in the country. While they entered this season with solid expectations, because of the inexperience of Fr. QB Kellen Moore, many felt Boise would need some time to get things rolling. Instead, Moore looks like the best newcomer in the nation under-center (1600 yards, 72%, 13 TD, 3 INT). Playing w/ an O-Line most Big 10 teams would kill for, a lethal rushing attack w/ seventh-year RB Ian Johnson (ova 3700 career rushing yards & 50 TD) & scatback Jeremy Avery, and an exciting veteran receiving core, the Broncos have the balance to withstand any defensive style, let alone march on the Spartans

I swear he's been at college longer than Tommy Boy!

While the offensive, the freshman phenom QB, and the blue field receive most the love, the Boise St. defense may be the biggest reason teams in the Big 12 & SEC might be nervous come January. Check out this crazy stat…only one team has scored more than once all year on the Broncos. And that one team, mighty Oregon, was down 37-13 in the 4th before the Ducks exploded for some garbage points.

While San Jose St. stands atop the WAC, unlike our friend here, I can't say they've actually earned it yet!

As for the surprisingly decent Spartans, while they sit atop the WAC, they’ve basically played the cellar-dwellers thus far, and the two times they actually played a top-40 team (Nebraska & Stanford) they lost by a combined score of 58-22. While QB Adam Tafralis’s graduation had San Joseans fearing their raise to mediocrity had stalled, Jr.-transfer Kyle Reed (69%, 7 TD, 6 INT) has performed admirably and has a great sidekick in the diminutive but fierce Yonas Davis (457 yards, 5.0 avg, 2 TD). While they also have some players on the outside, overall the Broncos D is too strong and will control the trenches as the secondary mixes-up their schemes to keep Reed confused.

With Boise St. only needing a win for the tease, my azz will be relaxed on my throne like Kate tonight!

As for the San Jose St. defense, honestly, I have no idea because their 5-wins have come at the hands of some really crappy football teams (Utah St., San Diego St., June’less Hawaii, New Mexico St., and Cal-Davis!). Trust me like you trust your bookie, Broncos take an early lead and keep this between 7-14 most of the night.

Final Score: BRONCOS 31 SPARTANS 20

With an extra week rest those ribs, the most exciting back in the NFL is back in action!

The Bye Week enabled do-everything Brian Westbrook (ribs) & a bevy of Donovan’s receiving targets to get healthy. Especially w/ McNabb making comments a couple weeks back about his unacceptable play, I’m guessing an extra week of practice did well for the motivated QB. On the defense side, Jim Johnson will be creative in his schemes/blitzes to keep the rookie QB Matt Ryan off-balance, while the run D just needs to continue ranking in the Top-10 in yards allowed (3.5 avg).

While QB Matt Ryan will stand-tall early, look for him to be running for his life by the 3rd!

As for the Burner Turner & Roddy White coming-out party, the Falcons haven’t looked as sharp outside of their dome (besides at GB) and might not enjoy the weather/crowd in Philly. Basically, I get a star-QB off a Bye Week at home against a rookie QB & coach nervously fidgeting through the Bye Week as the great Jim Johnson awaits…and all you want is a FG…ok by me!

Final Score: FALCONS 17 EAGLES 30

Instead of lookin at this pic, her Mom wants u 2 read this:

Continue reading "Greggy G's Weekend ATS Pigskin Picks" »

October 26, 2008


NCAA: 13-14 NFL: 6-5 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 9-6

If you want to go straight to Teasin’ T-Bone’s NFL pick o’ tha day, TOUCH ME!, to stroll thru the ladies just scroll down.

Sports banter and hotties, can someone say TUDDY!!

I come into Sunday Funday with a bit of an overly zealous smile today cuz for the first time in 6 weeks Insideplays walked away with an undefeated Saturday. I have to say thanks to Spartans, Tide, Cavaliers, and Red Raiders for taking care of the business that they knew they could.

She's not much for covering, but she's still my friend!

On the NFL side of the weekend, we are almost to the halfway point of the season and we have found many surprises so far. In the AFC, I bet that no one could have predicted the Pats & Colts with a combined 7-5 record, nor that the Titans would be the only undefeated team left in the league. As for the NFC, the East should be sending all four teams to the playoffs, but there happens to be this rule that says they must play each other, so unfortunately we may have to see the likes of Kurt Warner and Kyle Orton in January.

Looks like a lot of thought goes into Sunday Funday...

But lets not jump too far ahead, in fact lets stick with today, and Greg Gamble has a couple secrets up his sleeve that point directly to Jacksonville and Philly. To see his Sunday Plays, CLICK HERE! Now that you are done with Greggy’s luv, lets grab another drink and roll right into my winnas.

Continue reading "TEASIN' T-BONES NFL ATS PICKS" »

October 27, 2008

Monday Night ATS & Supermodel Magic

NFL: 8-11 - NCAA: 13-6 - Teasers: 10-6 - Hotties: 763-0
While my NFL pick sucked, my TEXAS TECH and Teaser picks rolled!

Peyton better get rid of the Pigskin early tonight or he might find himself on the training table this week!


Before we get to the importance of soft skin, here's my picks!

Some would say playing both the game & the ova/unda is unhealthy, but I heard the same thing bout Baby Oil and I don't usually mind the glossy film...tastes like fruit juice!

Just like Alex Sanders role in Whoriental Sex Academy 4, sometimes you're forced into a lil Menasha Twa even if you don't want to double-dip on a Monday. While I too'v been waiting for Eli’s bro to finally take control of Dungy’s lifeless squad, the Titans have quietly become the most physical, smash-mouth football team in the NFL. And with tonight’s Monday Night stage, I expect the intensity to be off-the-charts as Coach Pornstache Fisher has an already aggressive crew convinced they can embarrass and overpower the undersized, banged-up Colts.

Bo Knows how to Catch the Pill...Bo Scaife that is!

Even though most feel Kerry "For some reason I'm rooting for u" Collins & the offense simply manage the game not to make mistakes, with an O-Line dominating the line-of-scrimmage, double TE sets to keep safeties from cheating, and a thunder n lighting duo in the backfield, Tennessee has scored more the 30 points three times this year and has continued to dominat the time-of-possession in the 2nd half since. Especially with the catalyst of the Colts rush D sidelined (Bob MFin Saunders), Indy's been forced to overload the box (fyi, overloaded boxes are dangerous) and been extremely susceptible to play-action & TEs roaming down the middle

I'm a sucker for WRs and bikini models w/ long legs!

As a result, the Penn State alumnus should look even sharper tonight with the probable return of his lengthy possession WRs 6-2 Justin McCareins & 6-4 Justin Gage, while he’s already found a nice rhythm with Ronny Mexico’s former TD machine Alge Crumpler and the unassuming athleticism & playmaking ability of TE Bo Scaife.

Without their top run-stopper, look for plenty of missed tackles & Chris Johnson to break at least a couple big runs!

As for the LenDale White/Chris Johnson-combo, the former Trojan has pounded teams with his husky FB-frame, which has made Johnson look even faster than his 4.3 speed once he enters the contest. Johnson was unstoppable last year at ECU rushing for 1423 yards, 17 TD, at a 6.0 clip, as well as, averaging 14.3 per reception on his 37 catches. This year, with a minimum of 100 attempts, nobody in the league has a higher rushing average (5.3) than my future Hall-of-Famer Chris Johnson, while he’s also snagged at least two receptions in each game this season. Look for this combo to dominate the Colts & for Collins to continue his efficient play as the Titans start to march up-n-down the field in the 2nd half…especially off the right side behind the most underrated Tackle in the game Michael Roos.

With Haynesworth on the field, Peyton might find himself in this position more often than he'd like tonight!

On the Colts side, while Manning is still capable of a TD pass on every possession...(READ & SEE MORE MAGIC FROM GREGGY G)

Continue reading "Monday Night ATS & Supermodel Magic" »

October 31, 2008

Sunday Funday ATS Wonderland

NFL: 10-11 - NCAA: 13-7 - Teasers: 10-6 – ( NBA: 2-2 )
Make sure to grab a bloody and check me out tomorrow along with the Game Day guru Teasin’ T-Bone for our College ATS Pigskin Picks

Because we love you, we're doing something special for ya! ( is in the process of upgrading our award-winning site to serve you and your degenerative habits/fetishes better. We appreciate your patience and look forward to sharing a cocktail at Greggy G Island once this blows-up like my wick'd J after Olde E!

In the blink of an eye, Eli's image has gone from this...

to this...and I'll admit I never saw it coming!

The big thing we’ve noticed since Jessica Romo we down is how much his mobility masked some sketchy blocking-up front…especially the left side. Now, with the combination of Grandpa Elbow-Pads’s inability to buy time and deteriorating arm-strength, defenses have been able to crowd the box and still keep everything in front of them. Luckily for Dallas, they don’t have to worry about playing in a hostile environment or against a devastating pass-rush…oh wait, never mind. Throw-in a banged-up D that doesn’t have the personnel to slow NY's balanced offense, and I expect Eli & friends to revel in their dominance Sunday.

Final Score: COWBOYS 13 GIANTS 30

No matter what the size, I'm a sucker for a tease!

ATS Trend experts will tell you the Vikings & Brad Childress are lethal-off the Bye Week. Know what I’ll tell ya? The unproven coach hasn’t been their long-enough to have a MFin ATS Trend, not to mention, how many of those post Bye Week wins were orchestrated by Gus Frerotte. On the Texans side, I’ve been telling your for weeks the can put points on the board versus anybody and has a young defense getting better…Texans win outright

While my Cyclone idol Seneca is smoother than...aahh...that, how do I not take the Homeboy from Chi named D-Nabb?!

Andy Reid & Co. are making their run, while the Turquoise Birds have a false sense of being a decent squad after beating the lowly-49ers…who actually out-gained them by more than 100 yards. Seattle’s D is extremely overrated and won’t be able to handle the plethora of options at Donovan’s disposal. I luv ya Seneca, but McNabb -1 just looks too pretty…Eagles by 7-13 points

Oh, u wanted my NBA Picks...just TOUCH ME HERE

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November 2, 2008


NCAA: 13-16 NFL: 6-6 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 9-7

To check out Greggy G’s picks, TOUCH ME!

Ouch, looks like it's Sunday Funday again!

Recently I have been very glad when I wake up and can say that it is Sunday. And today I really wish that hind-sight was a friend of mine that would visit me on Saturday morning and not Sunday morning, cuz as I sit here with a hangover that will soon get drank away, I realized that I put all my lettuce on a team from Utah and the friggin’ Golden Domers, who have managed to piss me off even more than before.

I actually liked the Golden Domers yesterday, I feel dirty!

And before I get off the Charlie Weiss hate list, let me just ask the burning question. With Pitt bringing in a 2nd string QB that only completed 50% and threw 3 picks yesterday, what in the hell was the ND defense doing the rest of the day that would put them in a situation to give up 36 points. Let me make a point for the Pitt Panthers and my mind numbing level of hatred for Wandstadt also….can you really say the coach is making the right decisions when his 2nd string play caller comes in and his team plays better?

She's ready for Sunday, are you?

Enough of the boys that play for fun, lets get to the men that drive our ticket prices up to a couple hundred a seat…..

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November 3, 2008

Monday Night ATS Luv & Friendly Faces

NFL: 11-11 - NCAA: 13-8 - Teasers: 11-6 – ( NBA: 3-3 )

Considering Santonio was on vacation for unauthorized Glaucoma Medicine usage last week, my guess is you'll see a focused superstar on the Monday Night's stage as the Steelers pick apart the banged-up secondary of the Skins!

As somewhat of a Steeler hater, I wanted to believe the quiet criticism that Big Ben is a drama queen who loves to be the banged-up hero, but unfortunately, considering nobody in the league stands in the pocket longer to make a play than the tall-azz cat, I actually admire his guts & believe he's one of the few QBs that can handle the drama. And unlike David Carr & Jon Kitna holding onto the ball when big black men are chasing them, Ben keeps his eyes downfield and can still throw with authority when lineman are wrapped around his legs.

Just like Big Ben, just because someone likes to show-off doesn't mean that don't have a solid game!

While the Redskins D has been the solid all season, they don’t have much of a pass rush (ranked 29th in sacks, Jason Taylor-out) and have a banged-up secondary desperately looking towards their upcoming Bye Week (CB Shawn Springs-out, CB Carlos Rogers-quest., LaRon Landry-prob.). On the flipside, the Steelers had a chance to regroup three weeks ago on Bye, as well as, the return of WR Santonio Holmes (suspended for the whacky weed) and RB Fast Willie Parker from injury. While Parker’s not a 100%, with Mewelde Moore averaging ova 100 yards and 5.0 a carry in his last three games, expect Pitt to split carries tonight to keep the run game fresh. As for the deadly deep threat Mr. Holmes, from what I hear he’s ashamed of the incident and looking to prove he’s a focused professional…whether or not that’s true for the long-term, my guess is he’s Jerry Rice-focused tonight and the Steelers make a point to get him the ball.

Look for a couples flawless cats dressed in back to anchor the Steelers run-defense against Clinton Portis.

As for what to expect when the Skins have the ball, Clinton Portis has been the Javon Ringer of the Big Ten easily leading the league in carries & yards, but like the secondary, he’s in desperate need of a weekend on the sofa (probable-ankle). And instead of getting the vacation time, he’ll be working against the #1 ranked defense and arguably the fiercest group of LBs in the league. While QB Jason Campbell has been remarkably efficient this season and shown all the tools to be a solid signal-caller for years to come, with teams forced to crowd the box to slow Portis, Campbell’s had favorable one-on-one match-ups for his little tikes on the outside (Moss & Randle El) and Cooley over the middle. Tonight, I expect the Steelers to play their standard D against the banged-up Redskin rushing attack, forcing Campbell to fit the pigskin in-between spots…something he’s been tentative to do in the past.

Shawn Springs (out) could've really used a Bye Week!

While some may think I’m overvaluing the Bye Week, especially with how flat the Bears looked this past Sunday, I actually think the Sunday off helps more two or three weeks down the line as health & a playing-rhythm start to intertwine. Especially, with the big-play weapon’s returning for Coach Omar Epps (Holmes & Parker), and Joe Gibbs’s ole boys eyeballing an upcoming weekend vacation, I expect the Steelers physicality to lead them to a victory tonight.

Final Score: STEELERS 23 REDSKINS 17

As for my NBA ATS PICK for tonight...
What better way to start the work week than some NFL & NBA ATS highlighted by a smooth-azz cocktail of love!

Continue reading "Monday Night ATS Luv & Friendly Faces" »

November 5, 2008

Home of Daily ATS Banter & Lovely Lingerie

NFL: 12-11 - NCAA: 14-8 - Teasers: 11-6 – Hotties 841-0
* GREG GAMBLE’S 2008 HARDWOOD PICKS: 4-4 NBA ATS (click here)

Darth Vader & Darth Sidious in Oakland together is scary!

Before we roll to my Wednesday Night Pigskin Pick or brag about my Buffalo Bulls victory last night, there’s a Sunday Funday ATS gem that could only look better if it was displayed in Megan Fox’s navel area. Without question, no NFL ship is sinking faster than Al “Darth Sidious” Davis’s captain-less Raider craft. While the final weeks of the Lane Kiffin Era at least saw the Black & Silver playing with passion, since Darth Sidious’s embarrassing school-girl tattletale tirade, the players have not only checked-out on the season, but demanded their agents get them the hell out of Oakland asap. Throw-in a divided, interim coaching staff with little experience and praying their careers are not permanently tainted, and I’d be shocked if Raider Nation saw a competitive half of football from here on out.

I won't see the Raiders this focused on Sunday!

With the precision and concentration needed to prepare every week and the passion required for every play on Sunday, how do you think the latest news that Darth Sidious wants to cut everybody he demanded by brought in will work on team morale (De’Angelo Hall, Javon Walker, etc.). Considering they gave-up a sacred 2nd round pick for the combustible Hall and outbid themselves for a WR with robotic knees, recently released from the hospital after getting jumped in Vegas, and still morning the horrific death of friend & Bronco teammate Darrent Williams, from top-to-bottom you realize the organization has been reading “How to Run a Successful Business” written by the former CEO of Enron with special assistance from Isiah Thomas. As a result…

I'd cover my face too if I was stuck in Raider Nation...

...especially with Carolina Baby Blue rollin' into town!

It’s hard enough to develop a franchise QB in a perfect situation, let alone in the circus Poor JaMarcus is dealing with. And even in the right situation, I had my reservations about a QB drafted soley because he was enormous and could throw the ball twice as far as Chad Pennington. Last week, making the 9th start of his 2-year career at home, the former LSU Tiger was 6 of 19 for 31 yards and a pick…did I mention the agile giant was also sacked four times! Overall, if you take away the two “run-for-your-life” scrambles by Russell, the offense gained…are you ready…21 TOTAL FRICKIN YARDS against a Falcons squad that had allowed almost 800 yards the previous two weeks!

While most of us will be smiling on Sunday, my guess is the Raiders won't be happy or sad...they'll just suck!

This week, in addition to dealing w/ the craziness surrounding Darth Sidious’s latest delusional threats, the players & coaches must prepare for a disciplined Panthers squad off a Bye & only a game behind NY for the top-spot in the NFC. Unfortunetly, I'm guessing Oakland’s focus will be hindered this week as they implement a game-plan while staring out the Raider facility like a cat in the clink! While some may be scared about the cross-country trip or the potential of overlooking a hapless opponent, with Jake DelSpazzhome, the fiery Steve Smith, and two weeks of Jim Fox convincing them they can be the best, I have feeling we’re going to see “No Mercy” from Carolina and an early season college-type blow-out.

Final Score: PANTHERS 34 RAIDERS 6


Watch Mr. Davis closely 2night boys, he's a legit NFL QB!

Muncie, IN should be rocking tonight as the undefeated Cardinals host ESPN’s Wednesday Night College Football contest. Besides the expected emotion from a mid-major on the national stage and the unexpected emotion of Ball State being a player in the polls, the rallying-support & season dedication to WR Dante Love following his career-ending injury has raised the focus & passion of the entire football progam. After 100 catches & 10 TD last season, Love passed on an opportunity to go pro as expectations soared for a Cardinals squad returning almost every starter on offense, including the most underrated QB in the nation Nate Davis (this year: 67%, 15 TD, 5 INT). Unfortunately, while doctors have said Love should live a normal & happy life, a spinal cord injury in the 4th game of the season completely changed the Cardinals goals. No longer looking to prove they were the best team in the MAC with top-20 potential, the Cardinals enter the gridiron with their hearts desperately wanting to win every game for Dante.

Cardinal Red has looked tight in Muncie, IN this year!

For the season, Ball State has beaten every opponent by double digits averaging over 450 yards/gm and scoring less than 31 points just once this season. While the 6-2 Jr. signal-caller has seen his numbers dip from last season’s ridiculous totals (3667 yards, 30 TD, 6 INT), the reason has been the health & dominance of one of the nation’s leading rushers lil MiQuale Lewis (989 yards, 5.8 avg, 14 TD). Throw-in a veteran O-Line, a bevy of skilled WR/TEs playing for their fallen friend, and a QB that can tuck in run when in trouble, and even the Huskies stout defense won’t be able to slow this balanced attack.

Speaking of (5-3) Northern Illinois...(KEEP READING & DROOLING)

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November 6, 2008

Daily Pigskin, Hardwood, & Bikini Picks n Pics

NFL: 12-11 - NCAA: 15-8 - Teasers: 11-6 – Hotties 841-0
BTW, 3-0 on the gridiron this week! As for Sunday Funday Click Here

The Mighty Quinn ERA is upon us Homeboys and...

...I'm guessing that means a return to greatness for Braylon!

I expect the Dawg Pound to be extra feisty, and shit-faced, with the wacky weeknight treat & the unveiling of the Mighty Quinn. While Cleveland has been one of the most inconsistent teams all year, in victories against the defending champs and at JAX, they’ve proven to have the nastiness in the trenches you need to survive the 2nd half of the NFL season. The O-Line has looked dominate at times & RB Jamal Lewis still has the ability to wear down opponents w/ his bruising downhill-style, so expect the Browns to wear down the undersized & undermanned Broncos front-7. In addition, with O-Coordinator Rob Chudzinski’s love-affair with his TEs, look for Quinn to find favorable match-ups for Kellen Winslow & Steve Heiden off play-action. Throw-in a Champ Bailey’less secondary shadowing a superstar WR overdue for a huge-game & excited to see the fresh-face under center, and I expect the Braylon Edwards to have some big-plays tonight.

Unlike year's past, Denver can't get the run game rollin'!

As for when the Broncos have ball, unlike Jassie’s remarkable performance in Old Geezers, Young Teasers where she made everybody better, Cutler seems to have lost confidence in his O-Line and hasn’t shown the leadership skills to match his ability. Considering the once lethal rushing attack for Denver is ranked in the bottom half of the league, Shannahan has become more one-dimensional as the season has progressed…which plays right into the hands of a Browns D that has looked much better against the pass.

Just like Quinn, the unknown can be exciting!

Overall, I just believe the home-field advantage, night-game atmosphere (they beat NY on Monday Night), and the excitement from the Mighty Quinn taking snaps carries the Browns to an easy victory anoche. While some may be skeptical of the newbie, his moxy and experience under the spotlight should make for an exciting transition!

Final Score: BRONCOS 20 BROWNS 31


TCU has been littered w/ athletes for years, but now, they have a scheme & confident QB to actually match their ability!

The Spiked Frogs defense is 2nd in the nation in total yards allowed/game, while their rush defense leads the nation with a sick 1.4 yards/carry average. When teams have abandoned the run, they’ve found lil time to operate with an energetic line led by the nation’s sack leader (14) in the lighting quick DE Jerry Hughes. Overall, during TCU’s five game win-streak, only one opponent has reached double figures and that came last week at UNLV where the Frogs were up 44-7 before allowing a garbage TD with one minute to go.

Just like success on the red-carpet, the Horned Frogs realized they needed to open thing up on offense!

On offense, besides missing two games after being injured at Oklahoma, 6-3 So. QB Andy Dalton has been a hidden gem from TCU as he’s limited his mistakes (9 TD, 2 INT) and shown a natural ability to run their unique spread-style rushing attack. Five players have carried the pigskin more than 59 times, while the multi-dimensional receiving core has six kids with double-digit catches, each with the ability to carry the pigskin...

As for the Utes when they have the rock...
(Just like our friend, I have more to cover...READ ON)

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November 9, 2008


NCAA: 13-17 NFL: 7-6 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 10-7

Go straight to Teasin’ T-Bone’s NFL pick o’ tha day, TOUCH ME!

With the win yesterday, there are 2 reasons to be a Hawk

How ‘bout dem Hawkeyes yesterday sports fans!! I know that Kinnick isn’t the funnest place to play in, but never in my mind did I think that a guy name Ricky Stanzi would keep the game close, let alone win the damn thing. I think it just goes to show that home field advantage still means something, and when you let an underdog stay close long enough it normally spells trouble. One thing is for sure, it sure keeps my juices flowing and simply justifies why I spend 12 hours of every Saturday in the fall glued to my friggin’ big screen!

Too bad Zook couldn't have pulled one out yesterday as well, wait a sec, shouldn't the hat be on the other end?

But on to Sunday Funday, and in true Insideplays fashion, there ain’t nothing better than grabbing a bloody and reading the daily lines. Our NFL guru Greggy G spilled some knowledge earlier this week on who he likes today, if you want to check it out and see his lovely ladies, CLICK HERE! I have a favorite today as well, so keep sifting through the skin to see what is in store from Teasin’ T-Bone today! Hang on tight fellas.
Gotta luv a hard workin' girl that smiles through it all, I think she's experienced a couple fake orgasms before!

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November 10, 2008

Monday Night ATS Football & Lingerie Picks

NFL 13-12 - NCAA 16-9 - Teasers 11-6 - Happiness 67-0

After years of giving me plenty of gossip material, Seabass rewarded me again yesterday w/ a missed FG & ATS victory

While my picks were perfect this weekend, I’ll admit watching Seabass line-up for a last second 58-yarder had me thinking of all the times the Gambling Gods have toyed with my degenerate azz. But thankful, after years of using the date-rape drug on himself (it’s physically impossible not to mention that every time I use his name), his poor lil foot just didn’t have the gusto to get the pigskin ova the crossbar. Throw-in T-Bone’s call on the Titans yesterday, and I expect some Thank You cards after we prove once again 2night that nobody breaks down the ATS World w/ artistic flavor than ur Homeboys at InsidePlays!

While most would be satisfied with two perfect assets, Breaston's recent development actually gives Warner three!

Tonight’s contest just screams of crazy tuddies & turnovers for two teams rarely gracing the national spotlight. After years of a steady decline, a rejuvenated Kurt Warner somehow remembered he was an MVP back in the day becaus he didn't drop the pigskin and got rid of it before big blackmen sat on his head. Now, with a superstar trio of WRs thanks to the recent emergence of Steve Breaston, Warner has been able to find mismatches at the line-of-scrimmage and uses a quick drop letting his playmakers make plays & keeping the offense in a rhythm. Already ranked 2nd in the NFL in passing yardage, the Cardinals should look even better tonight with Anquan Boldin’s return a week ago, an legit backfield w/ the emergence of the punishing rookie Dreads Hightower (last week: 22 carries, 109 yrds, TD) and the lil speedster J.J. Arrington (last week: 7 rush, 61 yrds – 4 rec, 58 yards).

I don't see how SFs aging & undersized DBs handles Fitz...

...or the strength of my Homeboy Anquan!

As for the 49ers D, considering they're much better stopping the run & currently have an undermanned secondary, I expect the Cardinals to be aggressive early and excited to showcase their lethal attack on the Monday Night stage. During San Fran’s five-game losing streak, Mike "Drop it like it's Hot" Singletary’s D has allowed opponents to average almost 33 ppg and ranks near the bottom in Takeways. As a result, no reason to think they’ll simply find the magic on the road cause they had two weeks to prepare…if anything, I expect the quick Cardinal attack to overwhelm them out of the gate.

If Mike Martz would just look in the mirror, maybe he'd remember that he's supposed to be an offensive guru!

As for the other side of the ball, Mike Martz & Co. have shown the ability to move the ball, but have struggled with turnovers and capitalizing in the red zone. In the 34-13 loss to the Seahawks two weeks ago, SF actually out-gained Seattle by 127 yards (388 total). Off the Bye Week and with QB Shaun Hill breathing some much needed life into the offense, I expect the 49ers to find some success with a balanced attack. In three starts to finish-off the abysmal 2007 season, Hill actually was phenomenal with a QB rating ova 100 and throwing five TDs to only one INT. Last week after talking over for J.T. O’Should-not-be-playing, the former Maryland QB was extremely efficient in limited action (15-23, 173 yards, TD). With his ability to make quick confident decisions, I’m actually surprised he wasn’t given more of an opportunity to win the job this off-season.

I have a feeling Singletary's rant might keep the most gifted TE in the NFL focused for a couple big-plays!

While the Cardinals D has been solid against the run, they rank 19th against the pass and have been overly aggressive at times. As a result, look for Martz to spead-out the offense and open-up the passing lanes for Hill to maneuver. While the freak known as Vernon Davis continues to dissapoint, after his embarrassing sideline debacle I expect the fastest TE in NFL history to look focused and have a breakout performance tonight. Paired with Frank Gore’s downhill running style (Gore rushed for almost 7.0 carry in their season opening loss to Zona) and plenty of possessions with the pace the Cardinals set, I expect the 49ers to score a couple TDs & kick a few through the uprights to make this a nice little shootout!

Final Score: 49ERS 20 ARIZONA 34

For tonight's Teaser Spectacular...TOUCH ME HERE
You know why Sarah's smiling? Because she heard Greggy G has more ATS Plays & Hotties on the docket for today!

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November 13, 2008

Thursday Night NFL ATS & Supermodel Pics

NFL 14-12 - NCAA 17-9 - Teasers 13-6 - Happiness 71-0
See my winners & hotties from...Monday - Tuesday - Hump Day
Or if you need some packing tips from Kobe Tai...TOUCH ME HERE

Luv him or hate him, would u rather invest on Grandpa Green Bay in inclement weather...

...or an inexperienced kid who spent his college days...

...chasing talented tail in weather like this!

Considering this off-season I joked Grandpa Favre should stay home & play Sudoku with his wife…and was been burned like Travis Henry every time a chick said she was on the pill when I’ve played against the Pats this season, I know I look like a hypocrite taking the Vicodin-powered signal-caller over the Hooded-Genius tonight, but this ain’t about me…this about ur opportunity to Make it Rain this weekend!

Just like our friend, Farve has looked solid even when wet!

To start, I know Brett had an awful NFC Championship game in what was supposed to be “Favre type weather”, but give me a break…that was a Witch’s Tit teased w/ ice cubs-cold! In general, while Favre’s normal mistakes look twice as bad in shitty weather, his experience & overall success (we talkin’ MFin wins!) is beyond legendary…even if he is inching closer to the AARP-discounted Wrangler jeans era. Tonight, it should be in the 40s w/ more likelihood for rain than the likelihood Jassie used some inhibitors before performing in “Old Geezers, Young Teasers” (BTW, I definitely recommend a google search of Jassie).

No matter how nice the 5 up-front look, u know they'd be happier w/ Brady's rich-azz behind them!

On the Pats side, while I’d categorize Mr. Cassell’s emergency performance this season as “almost” spectacular considering he hadn’t started a game since he was trying to impress young cheerleaders for Homecoming date, I’m guessing as the weather changes and the season progresses Matt will become more and more of liability. Thus far, along with the brilliantly-simple schemes the coaching staff implemented to ensure USC’s former clipboard-holder doesn’t put them in a position to lose, Cassell’s been extremely efficient managing the offense and turned the “check-down underneath” into an art form. That being said, the catalyst for Cassell & Billy Belichick’s reasonable success has been a patchwork backfield running between the tackles and behind an O-Line much more accustomed to pass-blocking.

Sure Farve is the sexy "Cougar"-type acquisition, but the biggest reason for Jet success has been big-bad Kris Jenkins!

Speaking of the Jets, looks like our favorite College Football fan is jumping on Greggy G's bandwagon for tonight!

But the biggest difference for the Pats rushing attack this week (the last 4 weeks they’ve faced some of the worst rush D’s in the league: #30 STL, #27 Denver, #24 Indy, & #15 Buffalo), they face a dominating DL anchored by the manchild Kris Jenkins and ranked #5 in the league against the rush, not to mention fuming with hatred for the Pats. Overall, NY is solid defensively and should look even better w/ the rain forcing an already ground-oriented attack to become even more one-dimensional. While I’m sure Cassell will give Randy of few shots deep, the quick-hits to Welker might be a little riskier w/ a slippery pigskin and will force the green-QB to make more “reads” than “scripted-throws.”

While Jones has been outstanding between the tackles, lil Leon is deadly on the outside like his Seminole days!

As for when the Mangini has the rock, while Favre’s downfield ability & unconventional style has opened things up and given a normally pedestrian-offense some life, the running game has become lethal with a revamped & massive O-Line and the contrasting styles of Thomas “Downhill” Jones (750 yrds, 4.7, 8 TD – 20 rec. TD) & Leon “Bounce-it-Out” Washington (222 yrds, 4.8, 2 TD - 22 rec. TD). While Belichick’s D is fundamental sound, without the luxury of an offense enabling them some rest, the veteran group looks gassed and should find the remaining schedule a little more taxing than in year’s past.

While media outlets are reporting Brett is COVERING-UP an injury, so is 90% of the league at this point!

While plenty of media outlets have reported Favre hasn’t looked as sharp and might be nursing an injury, I’d like to introduce you to my friend “Grandpa Possum”. Sure he’s banged-up, but if anything, that just means will see more emphasis on the ground attack and quick drops in the passing game before he opens things-up with play-action. With Coles & Cotchery looking more comfortable by the week with Favre and TE Dustin Keller (last week: 6 rec, 108 yrds, TD) realizing he can make a fortune by watching tapes of Bubba “Play action 3-yard TD” Franks and Mark “Will you go to prom with me?” Chmura, I expect the Jets to easily control the field-position battle tonight.

U know what 2 lil birds told me bout Vegas setting this line?

In closing, while the oddsmakers seem convinced Favre’s wildness...

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November 16, 2008


NCAA: 13-18 NFL: 8-6 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 10-8

Go straight to Teasin’ T-Bone’s NFL pick o’ tha day, TOUCH ME!

Here kitty kitty. Looks like she covers about as well as my college picks yesterday...not very friggin' well!

Welcome to Sunday Funday in the land of InsidePlays, where the men are men and the sheep are nervous! If you checked in with us yesterday you will know that our streak of daily winners ended. There isn’t one person that would have guessed that LSU would be down by 21 going into the 4th against Troy, but hey, I’m not bitter. It just meant one more drink to make the pain go away.(btw, I had a hair and went with Black Velvet, my body is screaming at me this morning)

She knows what Sunday Funday is all about!

But today is a new day, and Sundays have been a day when any bookie hasn’t been very fond of InsidePlays. Combined Greggy G and I have a 23-18 ATS record and I am an amazing 6-0 on NFL teasers. I know that Greggy is all over Jacksonville at +3 for three reasons. First, J-ville is getting desperate, sitting with 5 losses, they know that a 6th all but eliminates their hopes to play in January. Second, the Titans have a meeting with Favre and his Jets, looking ahead could be a problem today. And third, can Kerry Collins really keep the Titans undefeated? He has to run out of luck or at least jump back on the booze train at some point, doesn’t he?

Dear Kerry, I have found your glass slipper, time to get back to reality. Hugs and Kisses, Audrina

As for Teasin’ T-Bone, I’m riding the fact that nothing has changed for the Lions and that Kurt Warner continues to defy reality. To read on, click below.


November 17, 2008

Monday Night ATS Pigskin Picks & Pics

NFL 15-13 - NCAA 17-10 - Teasers 13-7 - Happiness 75-0

Cuban busted for Insider Trading? If he used any insider info when trading for J-Kidd that source should be fired!

Lovie's answers are making matters worse in Chi-Town!

Following last Sunday’s loss to the Titans, numerous Bear defenders responded to specific breakdowns by the defense with: “That’s where I was supposed to be” or “Talk to the Coaching Staff”. The following Monday at Lovie’s press-conference, when asked about the players complaints regarding the defensive scheme, Lovie acted as if the reporters made-up the claim and stated that nobody on the team disagreed with the scheme. And then yesterday, as the Packers marched up-n-down the field with ease, multiple shots showed Urlacher shaking his head as he walked into the huddle while the secondary seemed happy to conceded every completion underneath. Just like I father can pretend it’s not his fault his daughter rides a pole for employment, Lovie's lying to himself and making matters worse by subtly throwing his players under the bus!

While she likes to Cover-Two, the Bears players do not!

I know the anchor of the D-Line, Tommie Harris, has been absolutely invisible while Urlacher still hasn’t figured-out how to shed a block, but please, the Bears pass defense ranks 30th in the league and every player claims they’re in the right position when asked about a specific scoring play. In my opinion, Lovie has his head in the sand and doesn’t seem to realize over the last few years teams have adjusted to the Cover-2 (Tampa-2). And let’s not forget who the fiery leader of the D was when the Bears went to the Super Bowl…Ron Rivera.

The biggest reason for the Bears defensive downfall...Lovie's ego couldn't handle all the luv Ronny Rivera was getting!

Instead of utilizing Rivera’s talents, Lovie felt the beloved former Bear was taking too much credit and wanted to prove he was the mastermind of the D and promoted his ole fishing buddy Bob “Lovie’s Puppet” Babich. I know they're still in the playoff hunt and have the luxury of playing the hapless-Rams next week, but trust me on this, the Bears are falling faster than Paris Hilton in a hotel room and I don’t see how things can get resolved when the coaches & players are pointing fingers at each other. With that, let's make some MFin $$$!

Sitting at home with a Teaser can be lots o fun!


*The lines have moved since this morning as the weather conditions change...and after Vegas receives their daily Greg Gamble email.

I expect the weather to slow both Quinn & Edwards 2night

To start, the combination of two struggling teams in must-win situations & lousy weather conditions, means we’ll see some conservative game-plans for two teams ranked in the bottom third of points scored per game. While Brady’s numbers looked solid in his first start, there was a reason Romeo (or should I say GM Phil Savage & the fans) started the Golden Domer last week…Denver's defense is frickin’ atrocious! Tonight, they face a displined Bills D (ranked 13th overall) that should be fired-up for Monday Night and will have a great 12th man if Mother Nature cooperates for Greggy G (50% chance of snow/rain).

Unlike our friend, the Bills offense is lacking confidence!

While the Browns defense has given-up a ton of yards, they’ve actually kept teams out of the endzone (26th in yards allowed, 15th in points) and should benefit from Buffalo’s offense lacking confidence of late. With one of the largest offensive lines in football and Marshawn Lynch, the Bills were supposed to have a lethal rushing attack, but surprisingly, rank 29th in ypc (3.6) and have been even worse of late (90 total rushing yards the last two games). Considering the O-Line has been lousy in pass protecting and they have limited weapons at WR (Josh Reed-out), the Bills offense is simpler than a Pee Wee League team and should be even more conservative with the crappy conditions.

I expect Mr. Winslow to have a nice game tonight!

As for why I like the Browns, (KEEP READING & DROOLING)

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November 20, 2008

Thursday Night NFL ATS Magic & Hotness

NFL 15-14 - NCAA 17-10 - Teasers 14-7 - Ladies 77-0
For yesterday's NFL Sunday Teaser Special...TOUCH ME HERE

You think QB Ryan Fitzpatrick saw anybody like this when he was tossing around the pigskin in the Ivy League?

Besides maybe seeing a few ladies w/ similar hair, I don't think anything about this snowy trip to PITT will be similar!

With a defense that thrives on demoralizing opponents like Rocco Siffredi in Animal Trainer and an offense that has dominated but struggled in the red zone, I expect Pittsburgh to make a statement tonight with nothing else on the NFL docket and all their comrades watching. Unlike Tony LaRussa passed out at a stoplight, the Steelers won’t take their foot off the peddle, especially in front of the home-crowd and with Coach Omar Epps roaming the sideline like Kevin Garnett after throwing one into the seats.

Just like her smile in the whites, the Steelers are one of the few teams smiling when the snowy white flakes are falling!

Last week, the Steelers marched up-n-down the field and out gained the Lightning Bolts by almost 200 yards, but somehow only managed 11 points in their controversial victory. Big Ben was Ty Detmer at BYU-efficient completing over 75% and throwing for 308 yards, while Fast Willie played through a shoulder injury to rush for 115 yards. At Epps’s press-conference this week, he stated Parker was “doing fine”, but don’t be surprised to see plenty of carries for scatback Mewelde Moore and some in-between the tackles carries for Gary Russell.

Not many offensive ballers lined-up on the outside are delivering the punishment on Game Day like Hines MFin Ward!

As for Roethlisberger’s weapons, Hines Ward (53 rec, 681 yrds) continues to prove he’s the toughest WR outside of Anquan Boldin, sprinter Santonio Holmes (34 rec, 482) looks healthy and is overdue for a huge night, Nate Washington (23 rec, 17.1 avg) always finds a favorable match-up as the 3rd wide-out, and 6-5, 260 lb. TE Health Miller should be itching to contribute after missing the last two games. Throw-in the dump-off abilities of Mewelde out of the backfield (27 rec) and the emergence of 6-7, 270 lb. TE Matt Spaeth in Miller’s absence (last two games: 12 rec, 108 yrds), and I expect the Steelers to put-up at least 30 points against the league’s 20th ranked defense.

Without a running game, Fitzpatrick will be laid-out like this tonight...but probably not looking this happy about it!

Speaking of the Bengals, while last week’s draw against the Eagles might be the highlight of their season, a short week for Harvard’s Ryan Fitzpatrick against Dick LeBeau’s aggressive D is recipe for disaster. Especially considering the Bengals rushing attack ranks 30th and is highlighted by Cedric “Boat Drinks” Benson (last week: 23 carries, 1.8 avg.), look for the Steelers to tee-off on the young Ivy Leaguer giving us the luxury of seeing Carson’s lil brother (Jordan Palmer) by the 4th quarter. In Fitz’s last road start, he threw two INTs and fumbled once against a paltry-Texans D in a 35-6 blowout. But what do I know…maybe he’ll look better in-front of the riled-up Steeler fans in shitty weather facing the league’s nastiest D.

Don't worry about Ocho Douche-Bag tonight...
...he's not playing. TOUCH ME HERE TO FIND OUT WHY!!!

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November 21, 2008

Home of Picks of ATS Greatness & Hotties

NFL 16-14 - NCAA 17-10 - Teasers 14-7 - Ladies 78-0
Make sure to check out my Homeboy T-Bone's ATS luv all weekend!

Not only did Darnell Jefferson steal the show as a freshman, the Coach of Pitt also knew I needed that late TD last night!

*Check me out w/ Teasin' T-Bone tomorrow for NCAA Pigskin Luv

Just like these three, I give you my Lethal Weapon ATS three!
*Sorry to be so brief, but I'm interviewing w/ Reinsdorf...he's pissed Paxon's had ten years of a gazillion Top-10 picks & still rebuilding!

Somebody's starting to remeber how to run!

No matter how bad Jauron's pissing this season down his leg, they're still in the playoff hunt and will be facing the Chiefs 32nd ranked Marshawn stiff-arm his way to an easy victory.

Besides this, what's more perfect than Peyton getting points against a horrendous D?

Eli's bro is still trying to make the playoffs & getting three pts aginst the league's 27th ranked Norv still coaches the Lightning Bolts!

Is it me, or does Favre's ole coach look tired of football?

Holmgrem's just counting the days till retirement while the DC boys are desperate for a win and facing the leagues 28th ranked catching my theme yet?

What's better...your girlfriend having a tongue like this or Greg Gamble's NBA Picks?

So I'm guessing you want more HOTTIES & my Friday Night Picks

Continue reading "Home of Picks of ATS Greatness & Hotties" »

November 23, 2008


NCAA: 16-18 NFL: 9-6 Parlays: 1-3 Teasers 11-9

Go straight to Teasin’ T-Bone’s NFL PICK O’THA DAY!
Go straight to Greggy G’s NFL WINNERS!


I realized something this morning fellas. Not only are the weekends(real men start the weekend on Thursday night!) great because most of us get a break from the daily grind, but they are also great because InsidePlays treats you and your monopoly money like you are friggin’ gold. Going into today has brought you an an NFL win, 2 NBA wins, 1 NBA push, 2 NCAA football wins, and an NCAA teaser win(congrats to Kool Kash Killmer on the picks, you have earned your official PHD, welcome to the group, Dr.). The only loss that you have seen from us is my teaser loss yesterday, and I should’ve known that Sparty was gonna get eaten alive in Happy Valley.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned....

And I would like to post a formal apology to all of our fans out there who happen to luv sports, gambling, and, but aren’t very fond of full frontal naked ladies. My article yesterday included a couple ladies that forgot to cover up(if you didn’t see it, you can CLICK HERE to view, cuz they are awesome!), and it is my intent and the intent of to provide you some great sports banter along with handicapping while viewing ladies that provide some mystery and creative thought. It is not the intent to become a porn site(even though I did appreciate the shout outs from our Florida clientel), so get ready to call sharky and look at some scantily clad hotties, heeeerrrreeee we go!!

Penn St. studied up yesterday, T-Bone studied up today.

NY Giants -3.5 @ Arizona Cardinals


November 24, 2008

Monday Night ATS Magic & Heavenly Bodies

NFL 18-14 - NCAA 17-10 - Teasers 16-7 - Ladies 82-0
To skip my Pigskin Luv & head to my NBA Pick...TOUCH ME HERE

Watching Fat Pants lose to Cuse was way too much fun!

Talk about a perfect morning…no barking from the dog, no smog, my girl cooked breakfast w/ plenty of hog, I remembered I was 5-0-1 ATS this weekend (not to mention Teasin’ T-Bone was nearly perfect as well), and my fantasy squad includes TO, Randy Moss, & Michael Turner! And even better for the degenerate compadres that jumped on my bandwagon, you didn’t have to do the painstaking ATS research and you don’t have to send me a thank you card...simply spread the word of! With that, let’s hit-up some Monday Night magic to keep this thing rolling like Kirstie Alley through the buffet line.

Her name is Bree, she's wearing Saints gold, and she's laid-out like a WR...if that's not a sign, I don't know what is!

I know that Saints season has been more inconsistent than Heather Locklear’s psyche, but through all the BS, they still lead the league in yards from scrimmage, while only trailing the Packers by 23 ypg in team defense. QB Drew Brees (67%, 18 TD, 11 INT) has been brilliant this season, and while everybody knows the Pack have two solid cover corners (Charles Woodson & Al Harris), they don’t have much depth in the secondary and should struggle with the three, four, & five WR-sets they’ll see at nausea tonight.

Because of Lance Moore & Jeremy Shockey underneath, Devery Henderson is making big-time plays downfield!

Especially with the unique atmosphere in the Superdome where the Saints have only lost once this season, Sean Payton won’t waste anytime getting the pigskin down the field. The AARP duo of Harris & Woodson are overly aggressive and will not have same effectiveness on the speedy surface as they have on the frozen tundra. With lil Lance Moore (52 rec, 5 TD) and the TE combo of Jeremy Shockey & Billy Miller (58 rec.) utilizing Brees accuracy on intermediate routes, things have opened-up on the outside for Henderson’s sprinter speed (25.2 avg, 3 TD) and the jump-ball abilities of the 6-4 Colston (16.8 avg).

Just like dat tat, Pierre's been a hidden gem for the Saints!

While Kim Kardashian’s boy-toy will probably miss tonight’s game, RB Pierre Thomas has surprised plenty with his strength between the tackles (4.6 ypc), while becoming a legitimate threat out of the backfield in the passing game (last 2 games: 9 catches, 90 yards). Throw-in the veteran presence of Deuce McAllister looking to prove he can still play and a Packer run defense ranked near the bottom, and I expect the Saints to move the ball with ease tonight.

The Packers always seem to play better when all the fans are wearing winter jackets!

As for when the Packers have the ball, I can’t tell a lie, I fully expect Green Bay to move the ball and put plenty of points on the board. That being said, Rodgers has struggled at times on the road this season and lost his last two away from Lambeau completing only 55% of his passes. With both teams desperate for a win to stay in the playoff race, I expect the Superdome noise to cause Favre’s understudy some problems so expect Green Bay to run early and often with Ryan Grant & Brandon Jackson. But like most teams playing in the Superdome and the wildness on Monday Night, don’t be surprised to find the Packers throwing more & more as the game wears-on leading to a few costly turnovers.

How will the Packers handle the party atmosphere in New Orleans...I suggest CLICKING HERE to find out!

Continue reading "Monday Night ATS Magic & Heavenly Bodies" »

November 26, 2008

ATS Pigskin & Hotness Picks for Turkey Day

NFL 19-14 - NCAA 17-11 - Teasers 17-8 - Ladies 86-0

How funny...the Tuna has the same feelings as Boobinelli's players...

* Seriously Homeboys, for all the hate-mail I receive for being a so-called “Pussinator” for playing teasers (Phillip from Australia, thanks for that friendly moniker), this is not about finding luv at the Senior Prom, this is about calling upon the underclassman with a back-tat to ensure your night is enjoyable. I’ve covered 68% of my teasers this season and apologize to nobody for taking advantage of the Gambling Gods decision to allow me some free points…plus, teasers also make it much easier for me to write-up a caption for my gratuitous photos!

Because Teasing Two is always better than One!

As for my the my sexy senorita Teasin' T-Bone's luv for Thanksgiving, he's all ova the TITANS/LIONS OVA 44 ...and from what he told me from his new Hummer (or maybe the ol MiniVan), DET couldn't stop a handicapped nun from rushing for 100! Throw-in a Dante led offense playing flag-football for 60 min, and he'd be shocked if they don't score 50 before u finish ur shit-azz appetizers.

DET will be thinkin bout headin to the showers by the 2nd!

Skeptics will tell you the Titans might have a letdown on a short-week after their dream of an undefeated season was destroyed by Grandpa Favre, but what I’ll tell you is the Titans, who rarely have the national spotlight, will be psyched to showcase their skills like Allie Sin in her 1st cameo w/ Peter North in the cinematic classic North Pole #53. Especially with the 21-pt spanking they received at home last week, I expect the nasty attitudes of TEN to thrive regaining their moxy against a team in absolute freefall and playing for a lame-duck coach.

While C. Johnson & his 4.2 40-time will look even faster in-doors, LenDale has some anger built-up to do some damage!

Making matters even worse, the Lions rank dead-last in rushing defense and are a facing a lethal ground attack with an angry tailback. While rookie Chris Johnson’s ridiculous speed will look even faster on Ford Field (833 yrds, 4.5 avg), the thunder aspect of Fisher’s dual attack (LenDale White - 11 TD) was furious following Sunday’s loss after carrying the ball only once & will be psyched to rough-up the Lions. Considering the lil & old Warrick D rushed for 90 yards on only 14 carries last week, I’m predicting Johnson rushes for 120 while White chips in at least 60 as he pounds a weak D-Line late.

While Kerry Collins was knee-deep in trouble as a youngster, he's become a leader the Titans youngsters can follow!

Early in his career you never knew if Kerry would be drinking Jack Daniels between games and inevitably put-up a stinker, but now, the Penn Stater takes nothing for granted and knows his opportunities to be a starting signal-caller in the NFL are numbered. As a result, the Titans are seeing a confident leader preparing each week like he’s Peyton Manning. And what better way to resurrect his career than in a play-action, short-passing system with tall, possession receivers that perfectly mesh with his abilities. Especially playing against a “supposed” defensive coach completely embarrassed to have the worst rush D in the league, watch the former drunk exploit a weak secondary as Rod BOOBinelli puts eight-in-the-box all day.

Sorry to hate, but If it weren't for Randy, the Lions would never have thought about signing Dante Culpepper!

Speaking of the biggest coaching embarrassment since Marty Mornhingweg, BOOBinelli has completely lost this team and every player is screaming at their agent to get them the f*ck out of town. Especially after last week’s meltdown after leading 17-0 before losing 38-20 to the Bucs, it was apparent the inmates aren’t even trying to run the asylum…their simply waiting for their time in Detroit to expire. I could go on and tell you how idiotic it is to play an aging Canadian League-quality QB who has a worse QB-rating & comp-% than their youngsters, but why bother, I already told you about this last week.

Final Score: TITANS 30 LIONS 13
* I know this prediction makes for a Titans cover, but as mentioned, nuttin’ ruins a Thanksgiving Feast more than a backend cover…so why even risk it when you have a lil gem like this to pair it with?!
***BTW, even though my score doesn't show it, the great Teasin' T luvs the OVA in this one...and considering I'm only sober enough to research one aspect of the game, maybe you should trust him!

My Teaser is so pretty you might as well just kick-up your feet and relax on Turkey Day!

Once again, those drunk-azz skeptics are around to tell you the Seahawks have battled of late, but considering they lost their last two at home in somewhat heartbreaking fashion...

Continue reading "ATS Pigskin & Hotness Picks for Turkey Day" »

November 28, 2008


NFL: 11-6 NCAA: 16-19 Teasers 13-9

Skip to my NFL Teaser Picks RIGHT HERE!

Detox and a warm shower, gotta luv Mondays!

But today ain't Monday homeys, it's Sunday Mutha F**kin' Funday. My degenerate ways have left me with a hangover and some mysterious shaking in my hands that I don’t want to admit to. And since I have had several days off work to solidify my plays for today, I’m just gonna dig right in today, much like Kobe Tai(Watch how Kobe packs for vacation RIGHT HERE!) in my all time favorite, Executions on Butt Row.

Peyton has had 2 options on each side all year.

Indianapolis -5 @ Cleveland

Today is a tale of two teams headed in completely different directions…the Colts are back on the winning track knocking off 4 in a row(3 of those coming against the Patriots, Steelers, and Chargers) with a healthy Peyton and his wide out cronies. And surprising to me that have done most of it without their rock Bobby Sanders on defense. During this stretch of 4 weeks the wannabe big boy Browns have went from Derek Anderson, to Brady Quinn, and not-by-choice back to Derek Anderson, all the while going 1-3 against a pretty favorable NFL schedule.

Let's see...Harrison, Wayne, Clark. Where's Gonzalez? Dammit he just went in for another tuddy!

The reason I really luv Indy today is because I believe Peyton is getting his form back that he has had most of his career. The last 4 weeks he has thrown 9 tuddies to only 1 interception, which has led the Colts to a +6 turnover margin during this stretch. And Peyton needs to give a big Thank you to Anthony Gonzalez, who has emerged this year as a consistent threat in the offensive scheme. We all know that Wayne, Harrison, and Clark will get theirs, but now that Gonzalez is showing up every week, it creates that elusive fourth option that creates match up nightmares all day long.
My homegirl Kate Beckinsale just texted me and it said...T-Bone, kind of impossible to cover so many good things on one playing field isn't it? Kate, I am in full agreement!

Do you put a backer on Dallas and let him get burned?? Do you put a safety on Anthony and risk not having deep coverage?? These are the questions that must be answered all day long, and lets not forget 2 very important things regarding this….Peyton happens to be an absolute mastermind that maximizes every coverage opportunity, and the Brownies happen to be ranked 30th in the league in pass defense, giving up nearly 300 a game. Doesn’t really sound like a day when the Colts offense is going to struggle moving the ball does it?

I'll be relaxing with a stogie by the 4th!

But hey, lets give the Browns some credit. Anderson boasts a solid 49% completion percentage and has one more touchdown than interceptions. Jamaal Lewis can get you a touchdown every third game, and Kellen Winslow can provide more drama than your high school girlfriend calling to say she has a 15 year old kid. And while most of these stats wouldn’t post a victory in college ball, it somehow still buts the Brownies 3 games ahead of Cincinnati……GO OHIOOOOOO!!! Indy rolls by 17 points today!!

Keep on reading for my East Coast Teaser.
***And BT "mutha f*ckin" W, GREG GAMBLE luvs MIA -8

Continue reading "INSIDEPLAYS NFL ATS PICKS" »

December 1, 2008

Monday Night ATS, Bears Recap, & Bikinis

NFL 19-15 - NCAA 17-11 - Teasers 18-9 - Ladies 89-0

I have a great idea, let's give our practice squad FB his 1st NFL carry on 3rd & 1 at the goal-line against this guy!

Before we hit-up the Monday Nighter, closing out the long weekend with crappy booze, a Turner brother making terrible decisions, and arguably the worst WR-core in NFL history was just not a very sane idea…and because the cats at my crib drank all my good booze this weekend, I was forced to rummage through my ole college trunk to muster out a three-quarters full bottle of Hawkeye Vodka and feel like Lindsay Lohan (and look like Nick Nolte) after an all-nighter.

Why not have Kyle Orton do this at least once at the goaline?

To start, the fact Norv & Ron Turner continue to be employed on the professional gridiron is beyond comprehendible. While Norv allowed a young Falcon team to travel cross country and bitch-slapped his suddenly pathetic squad, Ron was figuring out how to get his newly activated and former Illini-FB into the game plan. And when does he decide to give Mr. Jason Davis his first NFL carry…with the Bears looking to take control late in the 2nd quarter on a crucial 3rd & goal from the 1-yard line Yeah, great decision on that one Ron, up the middle with a Practice Squad FB and the Williams brothers hunkered down against the undersized Olin Kreutz...get a clue Homeboy!

While I desperately want Anquan Boldin this off-season, maybe trading for Packin' Plaxico is more realistic financially!

As for the horrific performance in the passing game, while the Neck-Bearded Wonder was abysmal in the 2nd half, I believe the blame of last night’s debacle should be shouldered by GM Jerry Angelo. For all the chatter about Orton’s lousy numbers in the 1st half (I saw at least three crucial drops), besides Devin Hester, none of the Bears WRs have the ability to actually get open, let alone have the size to provide a jump-ball opportunity on the outside. And considering Hester can only run two routes and needs time to locate the football, he’s still nothing more than a gadget player in my mind.

I like Tight Ends as much as the next guy, but what the Bears need are frickin' talented Wide Receivers!

Seriously, Brandon “Aligator Arms” Lloyd must have a crush on somebody in the training room, Marty “I was really good 10 years ago” Booker is done, and Rashied Davis is the nothing more than a nice 3rd or 4th WR. If Angelo doesn’t convince the McCaskey’s to open the vault for Anquan Boldin or another big-time playmaker, TE Greg Olsen will continue to be underutilized & shadowed by a safety, while RB Matt Forte will be heading to retirement by the time he’s 25 if they don’t get him some help...Paging Plaxico Burress…Paging Plaxico Burress!

Sage is overdue for a happy ending...I luv u longtime!

I know most of you will think this is merely a sympathy play because of my allegiance to Cyclone Sage Rosenfels, but can you really see the Gridiron Gods bitch-slapping the poor-guy again…this time on the Monday Night stage? For all the embarrassment and utter disrespect he has for protecting the pigskin, the agile 6-4 QB has completed 68% of his passes this season and will be facing an overly aggressive Jags defense susceptible to Sage’s specialty…play-action roll-outs.

Only a few things look nicer than Andre stretched out!

The Texans rank 4th in the NFL in total offense and have found a nice balance to their passing game with the emergence of rookie Steve Slaton (774 rush yrds, 4.9 avg, 32 recpetions) and have a much improved O-Line. In the passing game, WRs Andre Johnson (81 rec 1071 yrds), Kevin Walter (14.2, 7 TD), and TE Owen Daniels (48 catches) have the size to cause trouble for a "route-jumping" secondary that bites on play-action and ranks near the bottom in TD passes allowed. With only one solid cover corner (Reshean Mathis) and a pass-rush that has disappointed this season, look for Rosenfels to find extra time on the roll-out to exploit those weaknesses. Especially if Slaton can establish the ground attack early, Houston should be able to march up-n-down the field gaining confidence as the game rolls on and riling-up the underrated Reliant Stadium home-crowd.

While it's tough to contain two big weapons (MJD & Taylor), she's proving that it's possible...READ WHY HOMEBOYS!

As for when the Jaguars have the ball...

Continue reading "Monday Night ATS, Bears Recap, & Bikinis" »

December 4, 2008

Thursday Night NFL ATS Spectacular

NFL 20-15 - NCAA 17-11 - Teasers 18-9 - Ladies 90-0
You know I'm sweet...just check out my Monday Night ATS Luv!

Lovie was a fool to rid himself of this defensive guru for his ole fishing buddy Bob BOOBich!

And from all reports, it was because Lovie didn't like everybody giving Ronny all the luv!
That's like Victoria firing Miranda because her mini-caboose of heaven was making the other models jealous!

You know why you haven't seen this smile in awhile, sure going to Darth Sidious' team doesn't help, but I'm guessing it's because he's realizing he's not that good...and I don't think a short week will improve matters!

While the Raiders offense is beyond awful, their defense is better than advertised and will be facing a demoralized Charger O led by Norv MFin Turner! That combined with the Lightning Bolts new D-Coordinator actually getting a chance to shine means I'm rollin' my 401K into an unda play tonight! (Sorry for the shorts posts the last few days, but my white tiger's in the hospital...who knew caviar & alize wasn't good for felions. I promise to redeem myself Homeboys!)

Final Score: RAIDERS 13 CHARGERS 23

While some my differ, I'll always go w/ UNDA-rated for the girl that stole my Jergens virginity!

December 7, 2008


NCAA: 17-18 NFL: 11-7 Teasers 12-11

Sunday Red works for Tiger, are you complaining?

So I went on a Ketel One dirty martini binge last night and magically woke up this morning realizing it was Sunday Funday and all I want to do is call Sharky and tell him how all my homeys had enough balls to bet on a Florida team that was a 10 point favorite over the number one team in the land. Other than that, my head is thumping and I feel like I’ve got an Amtrak train set doing circles around my brain and the only thing that is going to cure that is a bloody and the morning line. So lets dig in, and I can assure you these were circled early in the week!

J--E--T--S, Jets, Jets, Jets. It is kinda black and white today fellas!

NY Jets -4 @ San Francisco 49ers

After last weeks disappointment against the Broncos, Favre and the Boyz are looking to rebound, and lucky for them they get the ‘9ers, who have been blessed with mediocrity for the last decade. You know damn well that with a one game lead over the Pats in the AFC East, Favre will not let his team lose focus today.

Grandpa Favre can shed some clothing in the friendly SF temps! Is that a lucky clover for the east sider?

I see a few aspects of today’s game that gets me absolutely excited to give my boy Sharky a call this morning. Starting with the Jets offense, there isn’t anyone on this planet that will tell you it is a bad thing to run the ball well on the road. The Jets happen to get 137 yds/game on the ground when their living out of a suitcase, and they have proven it is a key to their success by already winning 4 of 6 on the road. It makes me even more excited to see that San Fran can’t stop the run, they give up 108 yds/game, which is in the land of mediocrity, but bordering downright turnstile like in NFL land.

My homegirl Heidi has an impressive front line, much better than what the '9ers have provided for Frank Gore

When you look at the 49ers on offense, it is equally as bad as their defense. It’s like the coaching staff just found this vast land of ‘close to decent’ and decided to set up their teepees for many moon. Aside from the fact that JT O’Sullivan has thrown 3 more interceptions than touchdowns and gets sacked 3 times a game, Frank Gore is in the middle of a downward spiral that he doesn’t know how to get out of. His numbers are consistently dropping each week, and playing a tough Jets squad that is 5th best in the league when on the road won’t help matters much.

The Pac-Man is a fighter, and he will be swinging today.

But the stake in the heart for SF today will be the fact that Favre is due for some type of miraculous outing. Yes, he has lead the Jets to recent wins over the Pats and the Titans, but he hasn’t had a 3 touchdown performance since week week 4, and he got shutout last week against Denver. To add more fuel to the fire, he is in warm weather, and Grandpa Green Bay could use any help beyond Vicatin to keep his muscles moving. Jets put up mucho points and win 31-13.


December 8, 2008

Monday Night ATS Picks & Luscious Ladies

NFL 21-15 - NCAA 17-11 - Teasers 18-9 - Ladies 91-0

While Seneca (20-28, 212 yrds, 3 TD, 47 rush yrds) might be pissed he didn't win a weekend award from Greggy G...
Seneca%20Wallace%20baby.jpg least he can fall back on being a straight up P I M P!

Before we get to tonight’s Monday Nighter, let’s look back at a wild weekend…and no, I’m not talking about me,, and a half bottle of Hawkeye Vodka.

Just like you wouldn't try to bring in a loaded gun wearing this, I feel the same way about Plaxico's sweatpants!

NFL analyst Mark Schlereth on the Plaxico Burress incident and the fact he wore sweatpants to the club: “I don’t feel comfortable putting a chapstick in my sweatpants cause I know it’ll fall out!”

Observing from a distance can provide favorable results!

QB Tarvaris Jackson – After standing on the sideline with headset since Week Two, Jackson was extremely efficient and calm leading the Vikings to a victory in the 2nd half after Grandpa Gus injured his back. Completing eight of ten passes (105 yards) and throwing a game leading Tuddie in the 4th, the former Alabama St-star deserves props for keeping the Vikings playoff hopes alive. Call me crazy and a drunk, but because of that one outing & Childress decision to bench him earlier, I now believe he’s gonna be a solid NFL starter very soon.

If though the Crimson Tide's Julio Jones was redonkulous again, I have to give the award to Timmy Tebow!

While Bama FR WR Julio Jones is a frickin’ animal & would start for the Bears tomorrow, Timmy T made all the big plays Saturday Night and has a moxy that makes everybody on the Gators better...and I can’t believe how many analysts keep telling me he won’t be playing QB at the next level. While he never be mistaken for the Manning brothers & needs a quicker release, he’ll be starter for NFL playoff team by 2012.

Just like these beads, Duhon was drapped all over A.I.!

I never thought I’d say this, but it’s Chris MFin Duhon. On Sunday in a victory over the Pistons, the former Dukie and Bulls whipping boy played all 48 minutes, spent most the night chasing A.I. around, and still managed this ridiculous box score: 8-14 FG, 3-5 3-pts, 6-6 FT…25 points, 9 assists, 5 rebounds, and only 2 turnovers. If that’s what D’Antoni can do with a kid that had trouble setting his alarm-clock in Chicago, can you image what he would have done with Derrick Rose?!

John Kasay kicks the winner as time expires!

Even sitting at 9-3, with a logjam of teams sitting just behind them, tonight’s loser will be in for a Ronny Mexico type of canine battle to make the playoffs. The Bucs dominated the Panthers earlier in the year in Tampa (27-3), but I expect tonight’s contest to be much closer. In Week 6, Jake DelSPAZhomme was picked off three times and the ground attack produced its lowest rushing total of the season, while Tampa was balanced and controlled the time of possession battle.

Just like the Army/Navy game Saturday, I expect tonight's two NFL squads to run, run, and run some more!

Tonight, I expect Carolina to keep the ball on the ground, even if they struggle to move it against the league’s 11th ranked run D, to keep Tampa from playing on a short field. The Bucs dink-n-dunk style has been effective this season, but is not designed to march 80 yards so look for John Fox to concentrate on field position more than tuddies. With the thunder-n-lightning combo of DeAngelo Williams (955 yrds, 4.9 avg, 11 TD) & James Stewart (584 yrds, 4.6 avg, 6 TD), the Panthers will try to wear down the Tampa front and will use Steve Smith more as a decoy than a weapon to keep an extra defender out of the box.

Considering this is Jeff Garcia's wife, I'm starting a rumor that Greggy Gamble is a pillow-biter!

As the Bucs, the loss of FB/RB Earnest Graham is much more devastating they people realize, especially with the unexpected wear-n-rear amassed by Warrick Dunn this season. While Cadillac Williams return from a devastating knee-injury has been miraculous, he’s nowhere near the same player he was prior and still working into sound football shape (2 games: 20 carries, 47 yards, 2.4 avg, TD). While Jeff Garcia has been the captain of the ship atop the NFC South, he’s been inconsistent at times and looked lousy last week against the Saints shoddy defense (9-23, 119 yrds, TD). Especially on the Monday Night stage, look for the Chucky Gruden to keep things short and sweet for TO’s former whipping-boy.

As mentioned, with the playoffs at stake...KEEP READIN' & DROOLIN'

Continue reading "Monday Night ATS Picks & Luscious Ladies" »

December 11, 2008

Thursday Night NFL ATS Breakdown

NFL 21-16 - NCAA 17-11 - Teasers 18-9 - Lovely Ladies 92-0
NBA 3-2 - NCAA 3-1 - Teasers 1-0…3-0 last night baby!

I expect Berrian to burn the Saints for stacking the box...
oh wait, I mean Devin or Rashied or Lloyd or probably not.

"Where the ATS Playground has a bikini contest & booze!"

Just like I knew what to expect from Poison Ivy 2 (terrible acting but the riveting experience of seeing Samantha Micelli on the darkside of Who’s The Boss), the game plans for tonight’s pigskin tilt is more predictable than the happy ending in the cinematic thriller Whoriental Academy 7. I know the so-called “Bears Weather” has prognosticators jumping on the "Matt Forte runs all over the Saints"-bandwagon, but I expect New Orleans to put 14 in-the-box and force Orton to beat them his arm. Unfortunately, the combination of a cold/slick field and a weak WRing-core means the Saints will be able to jam the WRs and make GM Jerry Angelo look even worse for ignoring the Bears biggest flaw this off-season. As a result, the only weapons in the passing game will be TEs Greg Olsen, Desmond Clark, and Forte out of the backfield…and I just don’t think that can match what (Sean) Payton, Kardashian, Brees, & Co. bring to the table.

The Saints will completely ignore the Bears passing game to stop the favorite to become governer...but will it matter?

In addition, with the playoff pressure and the nationwide belief they must run the ball at nausea tonight, no matter how the Saints game plan Lovie will smash the ball all night with the kid from Tulane. Maybe the Saints D is so bad it wouldn’t matter if Kirstie Alley was in the box with’em, but I believe the desperate, playoff-hungry squad can slow the Bears ground attack. New Orleans does rank 20th in rush defense, but is giving-up a respectable 4.1 average to the opposition and should improve on that with the added emphasis I expect.

Kyle Orton can kiss is career goodbye if GM Jerry Angelo doesn't get his azz some help on the outside!

While I believe Orton has the abilities to be a legit NFL signal-caller and was not afraid to audible earlier in the year, with the pressure of tonight’s game and not having the same moxy since the Vikings debacle, I can’t see him changing too much at the line of scrimmage. Throw-in the numerous drops from a receiving core that should look even worse in this weather and a 26th ranked YPA average (6.3), and I’d be shocked if Orton passes for more than 150 yards.

Remember this...I bet (legally of course) it happens again!

...and who says Reggie can't grind out the tough yards!?

As for the leagues deadliest offense, while most believe the Windy City will cause plenty of problems, the Bears secondary is slow, has limited depth, and should have trouble quickly reacting on a frozen Soldier Field. As a result, look for Sean Payton to spread out the Bears with three & four WR-sets enabling a rested Reggie Bush to maneuver one-on-one against a LBer. I’m guessing we’ll see at least ten catches from Mr. Kardashian, including at least two for over 40 yards, while RB Pierre Thomas (last 4 weeks: 311 yrds, 5.4 avg) will continue to impress with Chicago’s D stretched all over the field.

Unlike her wrist, the Saints offense has more than one star!

When Brees does air it out, his options are more plentiful than Alex Rodriguez following a divorce…lil Lance Moore (62 rec, 8 TD) is stronger than most expect, Marques Colston (18.2 avg) has the size & hands to dominate on a jump ball, Devery Henderson (23.9 avg) has sprinter speed, and a pair of TEs (Shockey & Miller- 79 catches) roam the middle of the field with ease. Against an average Bears pass rush that should look even slower tonight, look for Brees to have plenty of time to do what he does best…survey the field, look off the D-Backs, and inch closer to Danny Marino’s record. BTW, do you remember how the Bears made journeymen Gus Frerotte & Kerry Collins (587 yards combined) and rookie Matt Ryan (301 yards) look?

Call me a tutu wearing fool if you like...but I'm right!

In closing, call me hater if you’d like Chicago, but it this ain’t about my friends, my team, or my antagonistic ways…it’s about my MFin mula baby! The Monsters of the Midway don’t have the swagger of years past and have only shown the ability to stop one aspect of a team’s attack…and usually it’s the run. Against Green Bay's balanced attacked they were steamrolled, and while I don’t believe they’ll be blown-out tonight, I do believe that can’t hang with the Big Easy football-firm of Payton, Kardashian, Brees & Co. Sorry Chi-Town, but at least you’ll be pissed-off with a little extra coin in your pocket.

Final Score: SAINTS 24 BEARS 17

Alrighty then, let's hit-up some NCAA Hardwood ATS Luv!

Will Scottie & Dante help Nova bounce back...Hell Ya!

After losing to the Longhorns Monday...(Touch Me Here)

Continue reading "Thursday Night NFL ATS Breakdown" »

December 12, 2008

Greggy G's Friday Afternoon ATS Quickie

NFL 21-16 - NCAA 17-11 - Teasers 18-9 - Lovely Ladies 92-0
NBA 3-2 - NCAA 3-2 - Teasers 1-0 - Church League 69-0

While it took a lil longer in Packerland, just like Grandpa Brett, Tila was tossed after a few seasons for a newbie.

And just like MTV's trying to prove they don't luv Tequila, GB's trying to prove "Rockstar" Rodgers was the right choice!

Did you see Del Rio's squad in Chicago...they looked as though the last thing they wanted to do was play a pigskin game. And I don't think home-cooking & warm weather will change the fact half the players know their gone after Week 17. As for GB, I know their O-Line is hurting, but the GM & Coach have angry cheeseheads to appease and a talented QB never having the luxury of taking a week off. With tons of talented WRs and a solid running game, Packers roll easily against a squad planning their next vacation.

Final Score: GREEN BAY 30 JAGUARS 17

While nothing is as perfect as Ms. Fox, tonight's frontcourt match-up is close to perfect for the Raptors!

The Raps frontcourt of Bosh & JO are too talented for Wang Zhi-Jianlian & one of the Lopez twins..TORONTO WINS PUNKS.
Sorry to be so short Homeboys, I forgot I left my yacht in Lake Michigan. Enjoy the weekend and make sure to give Teasin' T-Bone my luv!

December 14, 2008


NCAA: 17-18 NFL: 11-8 Teasers 12-11

NBA: 0-1 NCAA: 0-1 Teasers 1-0

Fiiiiiaaaaa, InsidePlays is on Fiiiiiiiaaaaa! Looks a bit like Teasin' T-Bone doesn't it? The heat doesn't scare me today fellas.

Go straight to Greggy G's Sunday Funday pick by gently STROKING HERE!!!

Sunday Funday in Insideplays-ville, and being an Iowa State alum, I seem to have college football and sexual acts on my mind, let me explain where my head is at…

Well lookie here, we happen to have a weiner, if you take away the bun you will see that it belongs to a certain Auburn president...
Now wait a sec, that appears to be Gene Chizik with his mouth open, c'mon Gene, I know you can open wider!
Lets see....weiner + open mouth = hummer
And apparantly when you mix a hummer with a 5-19 head coaching record you magically get a better coaching job surrounded by these Auburn hotties, gotta say I agree with Mr. Chizik!

Now that we have that out of the way, aside from the Crean led Hoosiers squad that had to foul with 12 seconds left, even though they were down by 16 points already, only to go down by 18 and blow my pick, I had a pretty damn good Saturday. Even though I didn’t post it, I threw in a St. Mary’s/Xavier parlay and Pistons pick from my homey Greggy G to make sure that I woke up this morning needing to go to the bank. But we can’t live in the past, so let’s get to today’s action.

The Titans have assembled a pretty good package this year, and it is tough to deny perfection.

Tennessee Titans -3 @ Houston Texans

I have finally admitted to the fact that this has been and will continue to be a magical season for the Titans. Kerry Collins has continued to impress everyone, and their season is becoming eerily familiar with the Warner/Rams and Brady/Patriots situations within the last decade. But what really gets me today is the Titans rushing attack.

One step closer for Fisher and the boyz today.

When I break down Tennessee, they have mastered the age old reality that having a rushing attack can do wonderful things for a team. The two headed monster of Johnson and White have simply dominated all year long to the point that they gain a league leading 163 yards a game on the ground on the road. Coach Fisher has managed to curb the issues with LenDale and turn it into motivation for the rushing duo, and that simply leads to plenty of open pass patterns for Kerry Collins to pick apart all day long.

Unlike our lady friend, Houston will have their eyes wide open today, but the result will still be something that involves bending over.

As for Houston, they do have my boy Sage, but other than that, they bring a losing record, a 3 game win streak(losing record with a streak like that spells a BIG ‘L’), and a horrible rushing defense that gives up nearly 130 a game. Brett Favre can beat the Titans, but the likes of Matt Schaub and Steve Slaton cannot. Titans walk today, 31-17.

Click below for my Teaser Extravaganza!!


December 18, 2008

Thursday Night ATS Football Spectacular

NFL 22-17 - NCAA 17-11 - Teasers 18-9 - Lovely Ladies 94-0
NBA 6-4 - NCAA 3-4 - Teasers 1-0 - Church League 69-0

I know we have a Pigskin game & NBA action to dissect, but first, I have few more thoughts on the man they call Plaxico!

Before we hit-up the Monday Night tilt, I cannot believe the amount shiznit I’ve received regarding my clamoring for Plaxico Burress in Bearville once his legal matters are settled. Everything from he’s a cancer to a thug, I’ve learned Chicago fans physically can’t stomach Plax with a “C” on his helmet and hope he spends plenty of time in jail. This from a city featuring Drew “lady-killer” Peterson daily on a radio-segment called “Win a Date with Drew”, not to mention, the smirking-devil continues to wander the streets mocking our judicial system as everyone jokes how he’s engaged to a 23 year-old!

So tell me, why do we laugh at Drew & hate on Plax?

I know that’s like comparing an Asian Hairdresser to an Asian stripper, but considering Plax has received far worse treatment for basically shooting himself in the leg, wearing sweatpants to a club, and showing-up late to film sessions, I’m standing by the tuddie-crabbing former Spartan. And please, any dorky white dude that says "What's he need a gun for" is the same guy that doesn't even get hit-on by pole-dancers and doesn't have to worry about his KIA gettin' carjacked!

Just like Jesse, no matter what they say, stall tall my friend!

As for why I want Plaxico in Chicago, its simple:

1. The dude is arguable the best redzone threat in the league and immediately opens things-up for everybody, especially RB Matt Forte & TE Greg Olson.

2. For all his shenanigans, after this incident I expect Plaxico to desperately try to improve his imagine with the team & community…at least for a couple years.

3. Because of all the aforementioned shenanigans, the Bears can trade or sign him on the cheap.

4. Sports are simply entertainment Homeboys, and especially as a so-called sports writer, a personality like this is a dream come true!

With that, time for:
Just like that smile, the Colts -1 is teaser-ific!

Talk about the teaser of all teasers Homeboys…a must win for Peyton and the Colts playing in some nice weather against an already mailed-it-in Jaguars squad. While I’m guessing Indy covers the seven, teasing them down so all they have to do is win is a bigger lock than scoring on prom night when your date has a back-tat just above a thong that reads “Wanna Play Doctor!” on the front. Call me crazy, but I’ve teased this with the NBA, College Hoops & Bowls, Women’s Badminton, & my 401K I’m sure you know the saying “On Any Giving Sunday”, but check out this little gem, its MFin Thursday!

U think he's nervous Marvin's not playing...not against JAX!

...I have a few more, but this is only a half hour show fellaz!

Just like Bree, Indy is a flawless tease!

Even in the midst of a seven-game win streak, the Colts haven’t clinched shiznit and had an eye-opening experience last week struggling against the lowly-Lions. I know Marvin “Car Wash Gangsta” Harrison is out, but let’s just say I’d trust Manning throwing to the Bears WRs. With Wayne, Clark, Gonzalez, & the abilities of Rhoades & Addai (questionable) out of the backfield, I don’t expect to see much of a letdown. Especially with a home-crowd that’s completely lost interest in their own team, Peyton will probably have as hard a time hearing as I did quarterbacking our flag-football team.

Fred telling us they suck summed it up for me!

As for the Del Rio and his band of malcontents, I’m guessing playing without star CB RaShean Mathis, top LB Daryl Smith, leading WR Matt “I swear its sugar” Jones, RB Fred Taylor, & WR Jerry Porter won’t help matters tonight. In last week’s victory over the Pack (mostly by capitalizing on some idiotic plays by GB) Garrard was forced to throw to three different TEs, the uninterested WR Reggie Williams, Maurce Jones-Drew out of the backfield, and received a fountain-of-youth contribution from AARP-vet Dennis Northcutt (how the hell is in only 30!). While Northcutt should be commended for his performance (5 rec, 127 yrds, TD), I’m guessing he won’t have another game like that the rest of his career. While MJD is still a ridiculous threat every times he touches the pigskin, without Freddie splitting carries and S Bob Saunders probably returning to put on a hurting, look for the former Bruin to tire late. Not much else to say Homeboys cause they only need to win!

Final Score: COLTS 31 JAGS 17

While some are sweating Brett's decision to return to NY, they're probably not sweating getting a point in Seattle!

While the Jets have been up-n-down more than Paris in a hotel room, they desperately need this game and have the luxury of playing a 3-11 squad ranked 28th in both total offense & defense. I know Holmgren will try to rile-up his 2nd stringers to beat his ole gunslinger, but considering they have the 31st ranked pass D, I can’t even fathom how Grandpa Vicodin can turnover this one to a loss. As for the legendary home-field advantage at Qwest Field, the Seabirds have won there once this season…against the MFin Rams! And in the rare possibility I lose this game, at least I’ll be happy for my boy Seneca!

Final Score: JETS 27 SEABIRDS 17

Why is she licking the mag, Greggy G's on the cover!

TOUCH ME HERE to smell what the Gamble is cooking!

Continue reading "Thursday Night ATS Football Spectacular" »

December 22, 2008

Your Monday Night ATS Wonderland

NFL 22-17 - NCAA 17-11 - Teasers 19-10 - Lovely Ladies 96-0
NBA 7-4 - NCAA 3-4 - Teasers 2-0 - Church League 69-0

While I'm usually not a "Bears Weather" believer, I am tonight!

Look, a Green Bay Packers blanket...what a coincidence!

Do you know how frickin’ cold it is in Chicago…so cold my 24 oz Icehouse was frozen by the time a finished walking my white tiger around the block this morning! Call me crazy, but I honestly believe Green Bay has no desire to even suit-up for tonight’s festivities. While Chicago’s playing for a playoff spot and some redemption after getting blown-out in Lambeau, the Packers are playing for nothing except pride…and my guess is pride will be thinking about sitting next to a heater more than the pigskin. Throw-in the reports of infighting from Packerland as players and coaches are pointing fingers on who to blame for their demise, and as soon the Monday Night magic wears-off I expect the Packers to be looking for the bus.

Forte is a perfect back to for these cold-azz conditions!

And just like her, look for the Bears to pound it all-night!

As for the game-plan, expect a heavy dose of Matt Forte as the Pack ranks 24th in rushing D and have looked even worse since LB Nick Barnett was knocked-out for the season. On the offensive side of the ball for GB, while Rodgers has played well in first season under center, the cold & windy conditions, as well as, the added pressure from a season spinning out of control should make this a nightmare for the Cal Bear. I know the Bears secondary has been susceptible to the pass, but as the season has progressed many of their youngsters have developed into quality playmakers (D. Manning, K. Payne, & C. Graham). Especially with a riled-up fandom on their side, I expect the aggressive group to create a few turnovers & look more impressive as the night wears on. I could go on, but it’ really that MFin simple!

Final Score: BEARS 23 PACKERS 10

You know why she's happy...she played the UNDA too!

Once the Bears get up tonight, look for Lovie to simply pound the ball ad nauseam to ensure his QB doesn’t make the same mistakes he made on his last nighttime stage (3 INTs in a loss to Minny). Especially after the criticism O-Coordinator Ron Turner & he received following the Saints game, don’t be surprised to see Orton with less than 20 pass attempts tonight. On the flipside, with a banged-up O-Line and a QB feeling plenty of pressure from the Cheeseheads the last few weeks, I don’t think Green Bay has the confidence to make things happen on a frozen Solider Field.

Final Score: BEARS 23 PACKERS 10

Brandon always seems to get a solid look!

*Since this morning's write-up, Anthony has been ruled out for tonight
Since the Iverson for Billups swap, it’s amazing how Carmelo (probable-elbow) has completely transformed his game. While always a dominate scorer, Anthony actually seemed to enjoy letting the world know he had no intention of putting effort into the defense end. Now, with Chauncey bringing in a professional swagger, all of a sudden he’s attacking the glass and actually putting-up a hand on D. That being said, all the luv the Nugs were getting while playing the bottom-feeders after the trade overshadowed their still short bench and inept frontcourt.

If Carmelo & J.R. Smith played with passion on D like this, the Nuggets could be really frickin good!

In the paint, George Karl has limited options as K-Mart (12 ppg, 7 rpg) is a shell of a player he once was, Nene is merely a big-body that cleans-up Melo’s misses, Linas Kleiza thinks he’s a small forward, and the Birdman is a one-trick pony (swatting shots into the third row instead of trying to block it to a teammate). While Carmelo has stepped-up his performance on the glass and Chauncey has pointed the bigs in the right direction, Denver just can’t compete against anybody with some size. Speaking of Melo, no matter what he says his ailing elbow is huge concern for Karl & Co. In his last two games, the All-Star is 8-27 from the field and starting to shy-away from contact (last two games: 4 free throw attempts & 3 rebounds).

While her bikini bottom has some Nugget blue, what you didn't know was her bikini top had Trailblazer red!

As for the squad I’m playing tonight...TOUCH ME HERE

Continue reading "Your Monday Night ATS Wonderland" »

December 28, 2008


NFL: 12-9 NCAA: 19-19 Teasers 14-11

NBA: 2-1 NCAA: 0-2 Teasers 3-1

Assume the position, the pigskin position that is!

Welcome back to Insideplays, and if you have a slight addiction to our banter, you know very well that today is Sunday Funday and it happens to be the last week of the NFL regular season. And with the playoff picture still an absolute mess for over half of the seeds, there are a couple of good matchups between teams that are fighting for next week against teams that are waiting to wake up at their off-season home tomorrow morning. So while the Giants, Titans, and Steelers all can take a break today knowing they get to suit up in two weeks in their own locker rooms, lets take a look at who I believe is going to live to play another day.

I loved college as much as bluto, but today is about the professional ballers of the pigskin league.

Carolina Panthers -2 @ N.O. Saints

Carolina already has a playoff berth clinched, but they know if they can take down the Saints today that they get to join the other elites in the league and take next week off. On the other hand, the Saints already know that they are eliminated and my guess is they were less than motivated throughout the week and really don’t have any new game plan put in place.

Carolina Blue...don't be denied!

On top of that, the line is a little closer than it should be because somehow the Saints have been able to muster a 6-1 home record during their .500 year, but when you look deeper at that record, the 6 wins have come against teams with a combined record of 41-49. Let it be known that the Saints beat who they should and lose to those they shouldn’t, Carolina happens to be one they shouldn’t.

Carolina just needs to make a copy of what happened earlier this year, I think that sounds like a great idea!

In fact, they have already proved they can’t hang with the Panthers when they received a serious 30-7 spanking from them just 2 months ago. Back on October 19th, the Saints still had post season hopes alive and they could only muster 7 points thanks to a stifling Carolina defense that only allowed Reggie Bush 55 yards and Drew Brees just 231 through the air. I know that home field advantage will swing this one by 10-12 points, but the Panthers won’t let a victory slip away today. Carolina wins 27-17.

She knows what Sundays are about, but I'm not sure that she knows what the teaser part is all about.


NE Patriots teased to pick ‘em @ Buffalo Bills
The bottom line today is the Patriots need a win to stay in the playoff hunt and hope that the Dolphins or Ravens lose. The good news is they are playing against a sub .500 Bills squad that has managed to go 2-7(two wins against the pathetic AFC West) in the back end of the year. I think Bill a la Hoodie will find a way to get his team motivated to stop a reeling Bills squad simply looking to get out of the cold.

Home whites and playing inside a dome, a great combo!

NY Giants @ Minnesota Vikings teased down to -1
No starters for the Giants going up against a Vikings squad that only needs to win to grab the NFC North title, and in my humble opinion this happens to be a very scary Vikings squad to go up against in the playoffs. We know that Peterson is going to get his yardage and Jackson has been much better since his mid season spell on the sideline. Plain and simple, I really like the Vikes today and that is enough for me.

And if you haven't had enough yet, cuz I know she hasn't, don't forget about La Tech at -1 essentially playing a home game and teasing the Packers to -5 while you watch them make the Lions the only 0-16 team EVER!!!

December 29, 2008

The Robin Hood of the ATS Wonderland

NFL 23-18 - NCAA 18-12 - Teasers 19-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
NBA 11-6 - NCAA 3-4 - Teasers 2-0 - Church League 69-0

Before we hit-up my ATS Bowl and Hardwood selections, here are a few quick thoughts on yesterday’s NFL Action:

What are the odds he's crying and wearing Wranglers today?

Yes, I’m hater and I'll admit it felt better than a China Town massage watching the Vicodin Vet throw pick after pick after pick to end the season and Mangini’s career as a New York Jet!

The sun hasn't set on McNabb or her just yet!

While most say they were luckily, I’m just glad my preseason Super Bowl pick is still alive. BTW, I luv how no matter what playoff team an analyst discusses they give the proverbial:
“Nobody wants to play that team!”

While I luv watching him lose...this dude needs a shrink!

I laughed so hard I spilled my Shlitz Ice all over my Yellow Notepad of Sin when they panned to Jerry Jones looking like someone just told him his plastic surgeon died and had left his file open on his desk.

Just like Grace Park here, instead of blaming one of your QBs, maybe Coach Johnny G should look in the mirror!

While I’ve never been a hater of John Gruden, for some reason watching the utter demoralization on his face was more fun than the time I played Strip Wii Tennis with the Olsen Twins.

As yours truly strolled the beach this summer, I wondered how bad my Chicago Bears would be!

I don’t care that they almost made the playoffs. Watching their weekly performance was more painful than waking up to take a piss after drinking hot-damn and using a cheap-hat with spermicidal lube. From numerous moments of coaching stupidity, to a GM overpaying a LB with declining skills after back surgery (that already had a contract), which resulting in not having any money to sign even a competent WR, as a diehard Bears fans…I’m actually glad it’s OVA!


With the shitty weather, what better way to spend the night than loungin at home and teasin' a few Chi-town teams!

***To skip to my NON-TEASER plays...TOUCH ME HERE

After missing plenty of time to injury, hopefully the layoff helps put a cherry on top of Tyrell's once promising career!

Entering the season, the Tigers had BCS dreams dancing in their head, but back-to-back losses in early October ended what was supposed to be a magical season. Fortunately, with the quality of the Big 12 teams, Mizzou still had an opportunity for a New Year’s Day Bowl Game with a home tilt against rival Kansas and a conference championship with Oklahoma still on their schedule. But like Grandpa Favre, Jessica Romo, & Chucky in Tampa Bay, the Tigers choked and are now playing in the Valero Alamo Bowl against Northwestern.

Just like our friend, NW has been playin' while havin' some fun!

On the flipside, (9-3) Northwestern couldn’t have been happier with their season & ended things even better with a victory at the Big House and against state rival Illinois. While the class of the Big Ten is nowhere near the top dogs in the Big 12, the Cats & Coach Pat Fitzgerald have started to built something special in Evanston. Led by Sr. QB. C.J. Bacher and the return of Sr. RB Tyrell Sutton following another season decimated by injuries, NW will be playing with the confidence & emotion needed to keep pace with the high-flying Tigers.

If you paired Dania's legs with the Wildcats DE Corey Wootton's arms, you'd have a perfecct athletic specimen!

I know Coach Fitzgerald has nobody that can come close to handling WR Jeremy Maclin (95 rec, 1221 yrds, 12 TD), TE Chase Coffman (83 rec, 920 yrds, 10 TD), or contain the cocky QB Chase Daniel (4125 yrds, 37 TD, 15 INT), but with the momentum they’ve created and having a few more weeks to prepare, I expect a magical performance from the kids in purple. Led by 6-7 DE Corey Wootton (9 sacks), who does a wonderful job of getting his mitts-up on his pass rush, and the increased familiarity with the schemes 1st-year D-Coordinator Mike Hankwitz has brought in (last year he was Wisconsin’s D-Coord. before being a scapegoat), I guarantee the Cats force Daniel into a few turnovers (Btw, my guarantees work 60% of the time).

Sit back, relax, and watch NW keep this somewhat close!

On offense for Northwestern, while Bacher missed a few games in the middle of the year, he looked extremely sharp closing out the season & has a bevy of veteran WRs that have been the snagging the pigskin for him for years (Sr. Eric Peterman, Sr. Ross Lane, & Sr. Rasheed Ward combined for 151 catches this year). Throw-in the probable return of SR. RB Ty Sutton (776 yrds, 5.0 avg, 6 TD & 30 receptions) from a wrist injury causing him to miss the final four games, I expect the Wildcats to put up some points on the nation’s 99th ranked D (117th against the pass). As for how many points…enough to cover more than two TDs, FG, and safety they need for this teaser!


Mr. Aaron Gray finally has a match-up with a NBA frontcourt that won't exploit his athleticism!

I know the Bulls have looked worse than Courtney Love in a bikini of late, but tonight’s match-up with NJ might be exactly what the doctor ordered. Chicago’s lack of interior presence has enabled teams like the Clippers and Zach “Baby-fat” Randolph to wreak havoc for Vinny Del Scott Baio as they consistently dump the ball in and force his guard-oriented squad to double-down. But tonight, the Bulls will be treated to a similar style of play to their very own as the Nets basically let Devin Harris penetrate and dish on every play.

Unlike our friend Grace, Brook's legs are much thicker!

While some will say rookie C Brook Lopez is developing into that type of low-post presence, Chicago actually has a decent match-up in the slow-footed, but efficient 7-footer Aaron Gray. Likewise at the point, Derek Rose is one of the few players that has the speed to keep up with a player like Devin Harris. Sure the Nets also have Mr. Vinsanity to utilize one-on-one, but I actually think the injury to a struggling Deng helps tonight as Coach Baio will be forced to play the lanky defensive specialist Thabo Sefolosha on the aging superstar.

Gordon could cover these cause he's too busy shooting!

Even though Ben Gordon might be the worst defensive player in the NBA, he’s quietly having a remarkable offensive season (21 ppg, 45 fg% 43-3pt%) and will not be isolated by anybody of importance tonight. Throw-in the improved play of T-Time running & jumping with Rose and more minutes for the always solid Nocioni, and I firmly believe this one to go down to the wire tonight!


Continue reading "The Robin Hood of the ATS Wonderland" »

January 3, 2009


NFL: 13-9 NCAA: 19-19 Teasers 15-11

You bring the drinks, Insideplays will provide the goods!

Indianapolis Colts -1 @ San Diego Chargers

Normally I try to stay away from the Colts because quite frankly I detest how good Peyton and the Horseshoes are. But today, it is simply too good to pass up. Somehow you have a San Diego team that latched onto the AFC West title last Sunday because the Broncos wanted to go sit on the beach a week sooner, and because they grabbed the title, they now get to host the Colts who have been on a 9 game binder that would put most meth-heads into a coma. And if you can remember way back to the beginning of the season, Peyton was coming off his first serious injury for the first 7 games of the season.
Peyton has many weapons to choose from, oh yeah, and he also is livin' tha thug life. Play on playa.

So now the Colts are sneeking into the playoffs under the radar because they don’t even get a home game, but here is what they have done in the last 9 that should have any opposing team dropping the back door load in their pants. In 9 wins, they have outscored their opponents by 92 points, that’s averaging winning by more than 10 points a contest, in those same 9 games, Peyton threw for 17 touchdowns to only 3 picks, and during those 9 games, the Colts managed to get two 500 yard rushers, a 1,000 yard reciever in Reggie Wayne, and nearly a 1,000 yard tight end in Dallas Clark. Peyton has options, several options.
Looks like bending over in home whites is a common theme!

And I know that all of the Charger fans are cussing me right now and using names like Rivers and Tomlinson in between all the f-bombs. I agree with you, I do thing that LT will play with more passion today than he has all season and I do think that Rivers will be able to move the ball on occasion. But the bottom line in my mind is the fact that the Chargers haven’t shown up on defense like they have in recent years. They give up nearly 22 points a game, but more importantly they are 24th in the league in passing defense, which happens to scratch Peyton’s itch quite well. Colts win 27-17.
If Victoria can figure out how to cover her spread, I think the Falcons can figure out a way to grab their pick 'em spread.

Atlanta Falcons pick ‘em @ Arizona

I don’t have much to say on this game other than the fact that Matt Ryan has went on one hell of a ride this year, and he has many thanks to give to Michael Tucker. The Falcons will continue to dominate the tempo of the game by getting Tucker his carries, this will allow the rookie Ryan to settle into his first ever playoff game. And do you remember how Ryan stepped up big in his last game at BC by derailing Sparty in last years bowl game…..expect the same today.
If Edge and Warner were as perky as these sweater kittens the Cards just might have a fighting chance.

As for the Cardinals…Edge is old and pissed, Warner is wishing he was back in college so he could have a month off before a bowl game, and the Fitzgerald/Boldin combo can’t do sh*t if they don’t get the ball on a consistent basis. Plus ‘Zona has the 28th worst scoring defense in the league. Falcons win 33-17.

Smells like a couple home losses today fellas, and click below to see my college play of the day!

Continue reading "COLTS & FALCONS PICKS" »


NFL: 13-11 NCAA: 19-20 Teasers 15-11
Do I really have to wait 8 months to see her again?

Even though Saturday was primarily NFL, it was living proof that it doesn’t matter whether the big boys or little boys are playing pigskin, my Saturday record has been about as impressive as that home video porno that you and your girl tried making.(At least the ladies never let me down, CLICK HERE TO SEE) So instead of poking my eyes out with a butter knife, I figure it’s time to move on to something brighte,SUNDAY FUNDAY NFL TEASERS!
Unlike her, I don't think the Ravens and the Fins combined have the firepower to score at will!

Baltimore/Miami teased to under 44

Today’s matchup is going to be a struggle because both of these teams matchup up well against each others strengths. When you look at the strength for the Dolphins it is pretty easy to look at their offense. With Pennington in town they have figured out a way to become a very efficient passing offense, putting up over 235 yards a game. And what is even better, is they have figured out their rushing game lately and Ronnie Brown has become a franchise back with Ricky Williams as a sidekick.
Kinda tough to let loose when the defense has you all tied up.

But the unfortunate thing for the Fins is that the Ray Lewis led Ravens defense plays shutdown ball. And when they matched up with Miami back in October, they were able to take them out of their rhythm and only gave up a touchdown and two field goals. Yes, Baltimore will give up a few yards through the air, but you can bet that if Miami abandons the running game early, it will only mean that Ray Lewis will have an opportunity to pin his ears back that much sooner in the game. And lets not forget that Samari Rolle and Ed Reed are a couple good choices to have as your defensive backs.
Ray Ray ain't the only thing that looks good in black!

Most importantly in this under is the fact that Miami’s defense has been playing solid ball as of late, and are a big reason they finished out the regular season this year. With Joe Flacco being a rookie having to travel on the road against the confident Fins defense, I don’t see them having a whole lot of luck today. I think Miami will pull this one out 24-13.

Click below to check out my other teaser!


January 22, 2009

Super Bowl Pick, ATS Hoops, & Bikini Luv

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 35-30 ats…54%
NBA 21-20 - NCAA 8-8 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 63-44 ats...59%
NFL 23-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

The NBA has blackballed my NBA ATS magic the way they blackballed the former boat captain of Milwaukee's Best!

Just like the inevitable “Charlie Sheen is caught partying with a relaxation therapist and his significant other is shocked”-annual event, the Robin Hood of the handicapping hardwood is amidst his first major losing streak of this long season. Obviously, your disappointment and inability to purchase top-shelf Tequila this week pains me to no end, but instead of kissing the area that makes Miranda Kerr seem like an angel, like Kellen “crotch-rocket” Winslow... “I’m a MFin Warrior!” If anything, take solace in the fact my record is still above .500 and overdue for one of those win-streaks that makes those new to Insideplays think I used to be in intern for Sam “Ace” Rothstein. But before we hit-up the limited hoops docket tonight, I think it’s time to break out the first addition of my Super Bowl Sunday thoughts.

Considering she's doing a better job of covering-up than my azz on the hardwood, I think it's time for some Pigskin luv!

First thought, the limited use of the Edge & Fast Willie during the season is one of the biggest reasons these teams are playing in Raymond James Stadium. Unlike the Skins & Cowboys who overused their RBs early in the year and saw them breakdown late, James & Parker entered the postseason fresher than ever. For the Cardinals, during the first 16 weeks of the season Edgerrin carried the ball an average of eight times per game for a total of 414 yards. From the season finale thru the playoffs, the former Hurricane has doubled his amount of carries (16.5 per/gm) for 303 yards. On the Steelers side, from week four thru week 15, Parker averaged just over nine runs/gm, but in his last five the speedster has averaged over 23 touches/gm. While injuries had something to do with this, the end result is the same, fresh tailbacks come December is what you need to survive.

While Coach Tomlin is the shznit, had a decorated career at ECU, and tons of sitcom success, has his luck run out?

As for what direction I’m going, if the game was played tonight I’d be placing my rapidly shrinking bankroll on the Cardinals getting a Tuddie. And just like the number of reasons Hugh Hefner had to get out of bed over the last couple years, I have three gems for ya:

Considering Zona is used to seeing tailgaters in bikinis, I bet they'll fit in fine w/ the Florida atmosphere next Sunday!

Since Week Six, the farthest south the Steelers have traveled is Tennessee, with nearly every other recent contest in terrible conditions and/or at home. While I’d be more idiotic than John Paxson thinking he should corner the market on overrated guards to knock Pitt's aggressive D, am I that crazy to think their dominance might have had a little to do with snow flakes & frozen fields? And with the exception of San Diego two weeks ago, the teams they’ve played of late have been one-dimensional rushing attacks with no weapons on the outside…and even against SD, it was in the low 20s with snow flurries at home. On the Cardinals side, considering all their home-games had tailgaters wearing bikinis, and more specifically, the last four weeks they’ve played three in Phoenix and one in Carolina, I’m guessing their aerial attack is happy this game is in Florida instead of Pittsburgh.

Watch Warner & Co. spread out the Steelers and give those beastly WRs an opportunity to gouge-out some yardage!

SPREAD CARDINAL…cousin of the Spread Eagle w/ xtra legs
As mentioned, besides playing Phillip in shitty weather, Pitt has been able to load-up the box to stop the run and blitz from anywhere against limited passing attacks. But on Super Bowl Sunday, they’ll face an accurate veteran QB who’s seen every blitz, defense, and has NBA-sized playmakers on the outside (Fitz, Boldin, & Breaston). While skeptics will tell you Warner doesn’t have the speed to avoid Dick LeBeau’s rush, with the cushion his corners usually leave, look for Zona to spread three-wide and for Kurt to quickly release to his ridiculously athletic WRs to do what they do best…gash the opponent with yards after contact. Especially with the balance the Cards have established of late with a fresh Edge, the downhill thunder from Tim “I’d run the other way if I saw him in an alley” Hightower, and the dump-offs to the speedy J.J Arrington, I expect the Cardinals to control the clock more than the Steelers next Sunday.

Just like the media trashed the Cardinals, they trashed this Laguna Beach hottie and she still walks with confidence!

No, I’m not talking about Jenna Jameson & her girlfriends in “Where the Boys Aren’t 16: Dark Angels”, I’m talking bout MFin Zona. Widely regarded as the worst team to ever make the playoffs and led by a coach full of Steeler knowledge and stars with a passionate agenda. First off, I love that Anquan was so fired-up last week and now has two weeks to rest his hammy and continue to fester with disciplined passion. Secondly, I love Edge rested and itching to prove he’s still an elite back in the NFL. But most importantly, I love the moxy & confidence of Ken Whisenhunt, not to mention the six years he spent with the Terrible Towels. While everybody jumped on the Cards for playing like shiznit after clinching early, the wise Whisenhunt insured his players were rested & healthy for the postseason, didn’t show the league anything to scout over the last few weeks, and built a “us against the world” mentality to take them over the top. As a result, it’s gonna take some magic from my insiders to convince me not to take the Cards straight-up as well!

A rested Dwight will destroy the Celts inside tonight!

While the Celts have rebounded from a mild-slump with a six-game winning streak, the veteran squad will be playing their fourth game in six nights and coming off a back-to-back. On the flipside, the even hotter Magic (seven straight and 15 of last 17 overall) haven’t played since last Saturday and understand the stage is set tonight to prove to the league they’re the Beast of the East. Speaking of the Beast, D-Howard has been absolutely dominate of late (last four games: 22 ppg, 17 rpg, 3 bpg) and will be squaring off against the a 280 lb 6-10 center coming off a shoulder injury that played his first game in two weeks last night (23 min, 2 pts, 7 reb, & 1 blk).

Unlike our friend, Paulie looks a little larger this year!

Throw-in the somewhat plumpish Paulie still working off the post-Finals party buffets facing the a duo of 6-10 sharpshooters (Rashard Lewis 19 ppg, 42 3pt% - Hedu’s last 5 games: 21 ppg, 61-3pt%), and the emergence of Orlando’s newfound dominate backcourt of Jameer Nelson (last 5 games: 22 ppg, 8 apg, 61-3pt% ) & Courtney Lee (last 6 games: 11 ppg, 57-3pt%) and the reemergence of the most hated Dukie of all time J.J. Redick (last 8 games: 18 for 29 from behind the arc)…not counting Chicago’s vote of Soft Luol Deng or Motorcycle Jay Williams. Seriously, did you check out those numbers…that’s the most amazing group of D-Howard floor spacers I’ve ever seen! And I haven’t even mentioned the distractions the Celtics had yesterday in South Beach or the game-planning they’ll being doing for tonight’s parties in Orlando! MAGIC ROLL AS BOSTON CALLS IT QUITS EARLY 2NIGHT

While this green isn't exactly UW-Green Bay green, I'm giving it and her the benefit of the doubt for tonight!


Continue reading "Super Bowl Pick, ATS Hoops, & Bikini Luv" »

January 30, 2009

Super Bowl Prop Plays, NBA ATS, & Hotties

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 63-44 ats...59%
NFL 25-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 46-36 ats…56%
NBA 29-24 - NCAA 11-10 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

The Super Sunday Funday passion is almost here Homeboys!

Last week I gave you three reason why the Cards might suprise some people (TOUCH ME HERE and scroll past Latrell if you need a refresher). While my official Super Bowl Pick will not be up until Sunday Funday, I do have some prop plays that seem too good to be true:

Edge has always been a weapon out of the backfield!

Early in his career at Indy, not many featured backs were more dangerous catching the pill out of the backfield than Edge (4 rec/gm & 30 yrds/gm). While his numbers have declined the past three seasons in Zona, Warner has dumped-off once to the former Hurricane in each of their last five contests (5 rec – 46 yards) and might be more inclined to utilize his abilities with the aggressive blitzing from Dicky LeBeau. Especially with the emphasis Pitt will placing on Larry Fitzgerald & Anquan Boldin, not to mention their ability to stretch the field, and the Cards should find some space to sneak James into the flat.

Like Edge, when you have talent, why not show it off!

O-Coordinator Todd Haley is extremely creative in getting his superstars the ball and shown the ability in the postseason to exploit teams that over pursue, and with the extra time to prepare, I can’t see how he doesn’t find a way to utilize James in the passing game. While Edgerrin wasn’t much of an option carrying the rock this season, let alone in passing game, he’s become more prominent in their game-plan, looks fresher than ever, and probably has been leaning on Haley all week to get him going early. The Cards have dropped the ball off plenty to their backs this season (Hightower 34 rec. – Arrington 29 rec.) so you know they have it in the game plan. The biggest difference on this Sunday is 3rd-down specialist J.J. Arrington is banged-up (knee), not to mention you have to believe they’ll be leaning on their vet more than the rookie (Hightower) with a Super Bowl ring at stake.

Even if the passion from the Steelers reminds us of our other favorite bowl, I actually think a Pitt blow-out helps our play!

One last thought on this play, while I may go in the other direction, many experts think the Steelers could turn this into a blow-out (they believe the public is so high on the Cards because they’re hoping this is a close game). If they’re right, I like this prop-play even more as the Cards will be throwing the pigskin around all-night with the Steelers playing somewhat of a prevent leaving the short-shitznit for our Homebody Edge. And the result...
SUNDAY FUNDAY - EDGERRIN JAMES – 3 catches 27 yards

Even if Hines is the fiercest WR since Jerry Maguire's top-client, a bum knee means he'll be limited downfield!

Call me a crazy sexy drunk, but I believe the toughest WR since Rod Tidwell is going to be more of decoy than a contributor Sunday. From everything we’ve heard, the sprained-knee is not just a tweak and could be hindered even further after taking a few shots early in the game…and you know the Cards will not shy away from contact, especially when he’s run-blocking. Throw-in a knee brace for an already aging receiver, and if he does contribute in the passing game, it's not going to be cause he's getting separation down the field.

I have a feeling Ward may be grabbin' the same thing!

Especially with the emergence of Santonio “I need shoes…do you need a dubbie?" Holmes, the underrated ability of Nate Washington, and the confidence Big Ben has in Health Miller, will they even risk throwing the ball to a player who’s timing is slightly off or unable to cut as sharply as normal. And finally, if the Steelers game-plan is to keep Warner & Co. off the field, obviously the ground attack will be heavily featured and we’ll see plenty of the well-rested Fast Willie Parker. As a result...
SUNDAY FUNDAY – HINES WARD – 3 catches 38 yards

While I don't know Mrs. Warner, considering they'll show her ad nauseam, is it wrong I wish he married Jose Lima's wife?


With that, time for some Friday Night ATS Hardwood Action, but make sure to check in all weekend for more Super Bowl magic and plenty of friendly faces from Teasin' T-Bone & yours truly!

It is gonna be fun watching the dude on the left try to keep up w/ D-Rose tonight. FYI for some of ya, that's Beno Udrih!

As I told you in their 20-point win against the Clippers, with all the criticism and backlash in Chicago over their awful start, I truly believe the Bulls were looking forward to playing outside of the United Center. The media has been all over how they’ve meshed with Coach Vinny Del Scott Baio and heavily scrutinized for every single comment about the situation at practice and on game day. Now, after a victory and playing against a bottom-feeder that nobody cares about, I expect to see another impressive performance from a team that has been extremely streaky in terms of confidence.

While the Bulls finally looked happy Wed. Night away from all the hatred in Chicago...

...I bet (legally of course), the Kings look a little tired tonight after finally getting a chance to relax at home

On the Kings side, they’ve lost seven straight and just returned home from a four-game road-trip that concluded on the other coast Wednesday. While most casual betters would believe they’d be thrilled to be home, that may be case for sleeping in their own bed, but when it comes to having the right frame of mind for basketball…trust me, it’s a bad thing! From my experiences and talking with other long-time degenerates, the first game after returning from groupie paradise is usually a debacle. Players return home and have to explain to the wife/warden why they didn’t answer their cell-phone late night and/or are excited to be home playing with their kids. On the flipside, the young single-guys haven’t figured-out how to delegate their responsibilities and have stacks of bills/mail, laundry to be done, and girlfriends desperate to have a seed planted so their set for life. Throw-in a return to hearing the city gossip on how horrible they are, and I’d be shocked if the Kings came out looking sharp tonight.

Just like how this outfit matches Irina's skin-tone, I luv the Bulls individual match-ups against the lowly Kings!

As for the specific match-ups, Derrick Rose continues to run circles around opponents and tonight he faces the slow-footed Beno Udrih. With Kirk Hinrich back, the Bulls actually have somebody that can contain Kevin Martin. The combination of Deng, Nocioni, & Sefolosha should give John Salmons all he can handle. Up front, the usually overmatched Bulls frontcourt has played much better of late (Thomas, Noah, & Gray combined for 35 pts, 19 reb, 6 blks against LA) and will be facing a strange combination of slow vets (Brad Miller & Mikki Moore) and unproven youngsters (Spencer Hawes & Ryan Thompson). And considering I’ve won my last four NBA plays, why would you doubt me? BULLS JUMP OUT EARLY AND WIN BY DOUBLE-DIGITS

It's never a good thing to make him mad!

...or this Kobe for that matter!

While it's not the Timberwolves fault, Krabby Kobe fouling out and losing at home to the Bobcats might mean Big Al & Mr. Luv are in trouble tonight. And to tell you the truth, I'm actually glad this game is in Minny and the Wolves are playing so just gets us a nicer spread! KOBE SCORES 40 AND LAKERS WIN BY 20!

With that, it's now time for your Friday Special...
DREW'S MFin Drew Donkulous

Continue reading "Super Bowl Prop Plays, NBA ATS, & Hotties" »


NBA: 4-2 NCAA: 4-6 Teasers 4-4

NFL: 13-12 NCAA: 19-19 Teasers 16-12
I know you had a rough one last night, but dammit, this is Super Bowl weekend so step it up homeys!!

To skip my Super Bowl pick and go to Sunday's hardwood winners, CLICK RIGHT HERE!
If you have your eyes just on the pigskin this weekend, keep readin' for my ATS winna.

Welcome to Super Bowl weekend with Inside Plays, THE ROBINHOOD OF HANDICAPPING!! Although my homey Smokey has a whole different meaning to Super Bowl, I find that it is a reason to completely waste a whole weekend over-indulging in everything that you can possibly get your hands on(I prefer booze and a benjamin on a game, but whatever gives you the utopian high is all that matters), and is capped off with a football game in which you won’t remember half of the plays(tough to catch the whole thing in between jager shots and beer bongs). The point is, however you go about getting it done, just make sure to give it your all, cuz you know Teasin’ T-Bone and Greggy G will be elbow deep in somethin’ that won’t be good!
You may have to look yourself in the mirror after this weekend, but as far as I'm concerned, the future looks very bright my friends!

Before I jump into who I believe is gonna give me a reason to upgrade from boxed to bottled wine, make sure that you check out Greggy and his PLAYER PROPS RIGHT HERE. And if his props aren’t enough of an indication of where both of our heads are at, let me say politely….
Get ready for a fight on Sunday, this one will be good!

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Arizona MF’ing Cardinals +7

I absolutely love the fact that everyone has boasting confidence about the Steelers defense. I’ll be the first to admit that if the Steelers can get to Warner early, it is going to be a tough road for the Cards. But here is why I don’t believe that is going to happen. Kurt Warner(I’ll refer to him as The Doctor for the rest of the weekend) completely fits the mold of a QB that knows how to dismantle a disruptive, blitz happy defense, and there are several reasons to my beliefs.
Mr. Warner knows how to fix a franchise, and his 2nd time around he is doing it docta-like!

The Doctor has experience. He has been through this before, and it just so happens that he had a very similar offensive game plan when he took the Rams to the promise land 9 years ago. When you look at his stats it becomes very apparent that he fits perfectly against aggressive defenses(ie Carolina, Philly, and now Pittsburgh). He completes around 25 passes a game with 67% efficiency, and has only been sacked 26 times all year.
We all know where The Doctor goes for his guidance, and the sun appears to be shining down on him.

These stats are absolutely the sign of someone who has mastered the now old-school west coast offense that thrives from short slants and dump offs to the backs. There is no better way to slow down a freight train like Palamolou than to have released the ball 2 seconds before he can even touch you. And of course all of this is made possible by having an offensive line that will give him the time when needed and also be the horses up front when the sprint draw game opens up.
These aren't necessarily the line splits the Cardinals are looking for, but they look as good as the O-line has been playing, and it's perty like yer sister!

The bottom line in this game is that The Doctor will feed the pigskin pill to as many people as he can and that will keep a normally solid Steelers defense on their heels and giving up between 25-30 points. The only question now is if the Cardinals defense can pretend to be Peter North’s money-shaft-in-virgin-porn-star and play the bend but don’t break system. If they can do this, which they have the last month, then I see both teams in the mid 20’s and we get to watch one hell of a game!!

Good luck my friends, and if you want to check out my hardcourt picks, click below.

Continue reading "SUPER BOWL HANDICAPPING" »

February 1, 2009


GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 65-44 ats...60%
NFL 25-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 48-36 ats…57%
NBA 31-24 - NCAA 11-10 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

Make sure to find the remote Homeboys...

...cause while they worry bout Fitz and the booth talks bout Mr. Ward's pimpness, Anquan's gonna catch the game winna!

But you know what really makes my Crooked Polish Happy Meal flawless ATS PROP PLAYS...and I agree with TEASIN T

Edgerrin James Ova 8.5 Rec Yrds - Hines Ward Unda 69 Rec Yrds
ZONA +7...ZONA +7...ZONA +7...ZONA +7...ZONA +7


BTW, If you want to know why I like the Cardinals and Asians, TOUCH ME, then scroll past Capt. Latrell Sprewell

BTW2, is it me, or does dat tat kinda look like a Cavalier trapped in some Thunda...which means I'm taking the Cavs -4 n the Thunda +2

February 2, 2009


GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Picks: 48-36 ats…57%
NBA 31-24 - NCAA 11-10 - Teasers 6-2 - Church League 69-0

While Kordell had his moments in the black and yellow, the Steeler wearing #10 yesterday might erase those memories!

Culminated with a 3-0 Super Bowl Sunday Funday, my 2008-09 Pigskin Season came to a close with yours truly 24 games ova .500…which means I collected $196,000 on the year after the OJ was removed (FYI, I invest around 10K on every play). While Thank You Cards and Asian Adult Video salutations are unnecessary, all I ask is you tell a friend about the magic that is ( And trust me, it’s worth it Homeboys because once this thing blows-up, you’re all invited to the Party Island!

While I have more Super Bowl thoughts, an FYI, just like the outfits at the beach, my magic gets better w/ the weather!

Even though I’m exhausted from the weekend, like Tara Reid slouched over a barstool with her weird nips hanging out the side, I will continue to belly-up to the ATS dinner table. While my Hoops selections have already won me more than a few free meals at Sizzler, I’m not happy with my start, but know a magical run is on the horizon. So even if you hate the Hardwood, at least you can watch Sportscenter with some added interest this February. But before I breakout my bball picks for today, I do have a few quick thoughts on the crazy weekend:

Santonio joins Hines as a famous steeler face of our era!

Big “motorcycle-challenged” Ben was already famous. Everyone knows Hines Ward is the toughest WR since Rod Tidwell. And watching a redonkulous Steeler defensive TD can’t be considered a shocker (btw, when I'm hung-over, why does just saying the word “shocker” give me a halfie?). What’s changed since Sunday Funday is the legacy of #10.

Just like Pam on a log, Holmes performance was flawless!

The overall performance by Santonio Holmes, topped off with picturesque game winning Tuddie, has turned the tiny Buckeye into a life-long superstar. And while I joking called him Santonio “I need shoes…do you need a dubbie?” Holmes last week, I did it to make you laugh, and was amazed how many analysts and radio hosts called out the kid for being honest about his past. Congrats to you Mr. Holmes…you are the shiznit!

What happened to the Brenda Warner I knew before?

As correctly predicted, I won the ova on the number of times they panned to Mrs. Warner looking nervous with arms-clasped. While that was easier than getting lucky with a chick sporting a tongue ring, the way she looked messed with my head something fierce. The more I saw her, the more amazed I was in her transformation from the last time Kurt was in the Super Bowl. Even after 67th time I saw her, I stared at the TV surprised not to see the salt-n-pepper-spiked, tight blue sweater-wearing wifie.

As soon as I saw Brenda, I turned and walked into the other room to google her old pics to make sure I wasn't senile!

Good, bad, or indifferent…and seeing her with this look during the season, I still can’t explain the out-of-body experience it caused me yesterday. Kinda like adult-star Aurora Snow when she went from long-haired innocent Brunette to make-up cluttered blonde with a druggy glaze in her eyes, I literally hit pause, walked out of the room, googled her, and returned as if I'd seen a ghost.

Could this be some foreshadowing of Mr. Phelps!

Considering there was one time when the whacky-weed hit my lips, I think its unfortunate the kid has to apologize about being a kid. That being said, his quote making it sound like it was a one-time occurrence was high-larious. Did you see the picture? That dude knows what he’s doing!

You know why she's so happy?
She just received Greg Gamble's NBA ATS winners!

Kobe has the look and Odom has his opportunity!

Just like the rest of the elite teams in the Association when this happens, the LakeShow’s home-loss to the lowly Bobcats was bad news for everybody on Kobe’s upcoming schedule. Since the double OT loss, the Lakers have crushed their last two opponents in cities usually considered to have a “Trap Game”-atmosphere (Minnesota & Memphis). And tonight, I guarantee they’re even more focused with the game in Gotham. I know Bynum is out, but it won’t fricken matter. Did it matter in the Lakers attempt to reach the Finals last year?

If u want to scratch ur gambling itch 2night, take the Lakers!

Secondly, this game qualifies as must play in Greg Gamble’s Handbook of ATS Magic: Rule 21.4 (b)Following an emotional Super Bowl, invest your dollars on teams with elite, passionate-driven Superstars. After a ridiculously competitive event like last night, I guarantee Mr. Bryant was watching getting even more obsessed bout winning a title without Shaq. As for their opponent tonight, the overachieving Knickerbockers are a perfect match for this flawless equation and provide a perfect venue for him to showcase his dominance. As for the absence of Bynum, shifting Pau Gasol to center and re-asserting Lamar Odom in the starting line-up might is like having to go to the doctor, but having a hot nurse slip on a rubber glove to perform the test…LAKERS BY DOUBLE DIGITS

The Spurs have been on fire lately!

If you want to know why...TOUCH ME HERE


April 2, 2009

Bears Banter, ATS Handicapping, & Ladies

GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 HARDWOOD Luv: 108-84 ats…56%
NBA 68-62 - NCAA 33-18 - Teasers 7-4 - Church League 69-0
What do you know, I begged for Jay, & Jerry came through!

After years of questionable calls, GM Jerry Angelo made the moves to help me forget about things like Ced Benson!

And I don't care if the gurus think Denver took his shirt in the process...cause that's not always a bad thing!

Driving home from the vet after getting my White Tiger his regular shots, I almost drove my Bentley into a ditch when I heard Jay “Diva” Cutler (JC) was now a Chicago Bear. Throw-in the signing of Orlando Pace and I never thought I’d say it, but you’re the MFin man GM Jerry Angelo. While I knew the NFC was the only place he'd end-up (as I told ya yesterday), the Bears have never made a move like this. After 20 years of mediocrity under center, we finally have a franchise QB and I don’t give a rats-azz if he’s more sensitive than Curt Shilling, Mayor Daley, & Jennifer Love Hewitt combined. Especially after all the shiznit he’s been getting over this fiasco, I expect the Vandy star to bring his game and leadership to another level once in uniform.

While Cutler doesn't have the plethora of candid bar shots that Krazy Kyle had (and who does), at least I found one!

But honestly, I don't care if he's more of a Diva than a partier cause they both have a place in the Greggy G World!

As for the Bears giving-up too much, besides a beautiful neck-beard & some high draft picks that Jerry usually gets too nervous about anyway,it's a steal in my book. Especially considering Chicago was probably grabbing an O-Line with their 1st pick, I’ll take a hopefully healthy Hall of Famer looking to prove he’s still a dominate Left Tackle. And considering Angelo always seems to have more luck as the draft wears on, I’m guessing he’ll do just fine with our middle & late round picks.

Waking up I couldn't believe it either Bianca. How the hell do Da Bears suddenly have a HOF tackle & franchise QB?

And If he's healthy, he's still a frickin monster with skills

But just like the Eastern Seaboard Programming Network to rain on my panty parade, I heard more comments about the dire situation Cutler enters because of our WRs & O-Line. Up front, I actually believe last year’s 1st round pick Chris Williams benefited from a year learning on the sideline, not to mention actually played with Cutler for a couple years in college, and now moves to much easier spot on the right side with Pace on board. Throw-in the bad-azz Olin Kreutz, a couple under the radar options at guard, and a feature back to take the pressure off the passing game, and I’m guessing the mobile JC will be look just fine.

While they didn't perform as well as these two, let's not...

...forget Cutler & Bennett spent two years at Vandy together!

As for Cutler’s receiving options, the Bears might have the best trio of pass-catching TEs in the league w/ Greg Olsen, Desmond Clark, & 6-7 Kellen Davis. At WR, while Devin Hester only ran two or three routes last year, I have to admit he played better than expected and should only get better. And how about last year’s third round pick Earl Bennett, the SEC’s all-time leading receiver and a two-year teammate of Cutler's at Vandy, I expect to see him surprise everybody and to be a vast improvement over Rashied “I dropped it again?” Davis. While we still need a few more playmakers, I think I have few bargain FAs ideas that could make this a decent core for JC's first year…

Don't blame RC for an awful year w/ JaMarcus Bust Russell!

And unlike our friend, Ronald can't be covered this easily!

RONALD CURRY 6-2 210 29 years old Raiders
The former college QB and PG for the Tar Heels made an impressive transition to WR before two devastating knee/Achilles injuries early in his career. But miraculously, he bounced back and paired his flawless work ethic with solid skills to catch 117 balls the following two seasons for a horrible Oakland squad. Unfortunately, or fortunately if you’re the Bears finance director, the soap-opera that was the Raiders last year combined with a horrific performance from their accuracy challenged QB produced only 19 catches for Curry. Trust me Homeboys, a change of scenery and a Pro Bowl QB would give the sure-handed vet a chance to regain his moxy and finally utilize his underrated physical tools.

Other notable wide-outs receiving Greg Gamble FA votes:
LIL LANCE MOORE (79 catches 10 TDs last year with NO)
MARK “Don't Call Me Duper” CLAYTON (65 catches w/ BALT)

With dat, time to temper my excitment & hit-up the NBA!
And tonight, we have a match-up with two of the best young ballers on the planet, and...

...these two trying to stop an angry Timmy D, and...

...more bikinis, so TOUCH ME HERE FOR THE LUV FELLAS!

Continue reading "Bears Banter, ATS Handicapping, & Ladies" »

September 20, 2009


While my Homeboy Yeker is making the picks today, I should tell ya I like the Ravens (+3)...and other shiznit in purple!


It’s the second week of the NFL season and that can only mean two things: Favre is still just planning his retirement press conference and the lines being laid in V town aren’t on their money yet. This means, it’s silly to pump up your 401k when you can rely on your +130/OVA plan to setup your Costa Rican retirement.

Here are the dice rolls I see loaded this week.
Hi Yeker...Nice to meet ya...Win me some cash Homeboy!

If you missed the Texans first game of season, just recall a Texans game you watched from previous years and it would be like watching the game again in slow-mo NFL Films. They couldn’t pass, couldn’t run, and couldn’t stop the explosion of the Mark “Dirty” Sanchez onto the NFL stage with a roaring 84.3 QB rating. It got so bad that fans started calling for midget hands Rex Grossman. And as a Staley mascot tattooed Bears fan, I would like to do a public service to Houston fans and let them know that no matter how bad Matt Schaub gets (I mean even multiple amputee injuries), Grossman is the answer to no question except the definition of un-athletic professional athlete. If he gets in, he’ll make you cry to have Parsley Sage Rosenmaryfels back.

Just like Greggy G, Da Yeker luvs Chris Johnson today!

Tennessee on the other hand, while they did not win, gave a game of it to defending Super Bowl Champs Pittsburgh. They shut down the run and got after Roethlisberger, sacking him 4 times and picked him 2 times. It would have been a lot worse if Roethlisberger wasn’t a mountain of man that can take hits and still deliver the ball to his big play receiver Santonio Holmes.

As for the game at hand, Schaub stats are not good playing in the smoky mountain air (Ricky Williams maybe you should ask for a trade) only throwing for 222 total yards and 3 interceptions in the past 2 games there. Unlike Roethlisberger, Schaub is barely a hill of man. Look for Tennessee to have him on the run all day with just their front 4 and doubling down Andre Johnson at the same time. As for Tennessee, they have had an extra 3 days off to work out the kinks of their offense. Look for them to control the clock all game long by working on their run game with at least 1 big play-action pass of the game from drunken master Kerry Collins.

All in all it looks like Houston is volunteering for a slaughter at Tennessee this week.
Tennessee 27 Houston 14

The Vikes have more options than this camera man telling these angels they're on a reality show!

He’s old, creaky, and only got a preseason worth of throwing the ball around in a sandlot wearing Wrangler Jeans, but Favre is all that the Vikings needed to be great. Week 1 let him use his arm to turn Percy Harvin into the same phenom in the NFL as he was catching passes from “All Humanity Team” Tim Tebow. And for those that missed it, he’s backed by an RB named AP who runs faster and stronger than anyone else in the league and lives up to his fellow Minnesotan’s Jessie the Body’s quote from Predator of “I ain’t got time to bleed”. While the team, namely the D, didn’t overwhelm a mediocre Cleveland Frowns team, you could see the pieces coming together for at least one half of the NFC Championship Game.

They will be one week better now. Expect them to hit on all cylinders, and as an announcer said best last week, Jared Allen is a different player on turf. Oh, did I mention, they are playing the Lions. The Lions who let Drew “the Mole” Brees put on up 6 middle school-esqueTDs through the air. The Lions who have been winless in their last 18 games.

The net result of my plus-minus analysis of this game is as follows:
Vikings by Super Massive Numbers...Vikings 48 Lions 13

Btw, Greggy G doesn't want u to forget to put the midgets & Asians to bed & go looking for money to play on Joe Flacco!

And don't forget to crawl back tomorrow...Greggy G will be back!

September 21, 2009


GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 1-0 ats...100%
NFL 1-0 - NCAA 0-0 - Teasers 0-0 - Lovely Ladies: 1-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

While he's not warm & fuzzy and definitely has a lil "jerk-face" in him, he's gonna look smoother by the week!

And I know we got a lil lucky yesterday, but Sofa Sundays have never been so much fun in Chi-Town!

BTW Jeffrey Reed...nice kicks yesterday...ur a frickin dork!

I know some of you feel I've turned my back on this gridiron season, but trust me, it's just temporary Homeboys!

I know it would be sexier than an Olson twin wearing nothing but a thong and a nicorette patch to find a way to take the Fins tonight, but I can't find one reason. Peyton luvs Monday Night, Peyton luvs trying to prove he can win post-Dungy, and don't be fooled, Peyton doesn't care who's opposite Reggie Wayne.

Miami struggles to cover the middle of the field...which means Dallas Clark catches two TDs and in a rout!

Not much more insight than Indy roll by double digits...
Final Score: COLTS 31 DOLPHINS 17

And remember boys & girls, it is a school get to bed early!

September 27, 2009

Sunday Funday ATS Magic from Insideplays

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 2-0 ats...100%
NFL 2-0 - NCAA 0-0 - Teasers 0-0 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

Someone needs 2 get dressed 2 get ready 4 some football!


Trust me Homeboys, Patrick Willis will be knocking Grandpa Vicodin into an early exit this afternoon!

Iron Mike has the boys playing w/ passion...upset alert MFers!

I'd look frustrated too if my QB was JustMissedMyWR Russell!

The Broncos have the mojo of "We can win without Cutler!"

Just like today's Hawk Bear game, I see stuff busting out!

Seneca & Ochcocinco's former mate are gonna have a field day against the Bear corners...but so will Cutler & Forte against a banged-up D!

Final Score: BEARS 31 HAWKS 20

And now, your Sunday Special...Picks from Da Yeker!
While u may pay attention 2 me like the girl on the right, trust me, I have da crazy shit up my sleeve 2 make u smile!

I know, I know, 1 for 3 ATS is not good enough for the Inside Plays tradition. After a round with a my favorite midget dominatrix to atone for my mistakes, I locked myself in my hovel and have survived on nothing but Stoli, stale wings, and Jim the Greek’s “Big Black Buck and Other Tales” book on audio tapes all week.

Here are the results from a week in the lab with a pen and a pad:

Alright, so much is going on in this game, I don’t know where to start. Philly will be bringing back Kibbles & Vicks. KC has not so golden boy after 1 game, Cassel, getting another week to prove he’s worth more than my favorite retro-50s player Brodie Brodie Croyle. And a lot of other nonsense. I only have one prediction for this game: crazy. You are going to see the Option, Wildcat, A-11, kitchen sink, finger cuffs, and GGBG. All in the 1st half. Sit back and root for points, degenerates. Plus, Andy Reid got a new jump suit this week. His wife said it makes him look only 3 three cheese steak big, not 4 as usual.

Final Score: CHIEFS 24 EAGLES 31

For some reason, the Yeker has no luv for the coolest cat since my first putty-cat luv...don't hate on Seneca Mr. Yeker!

Two and a half, 2.5, 2 1/2. That’s all the Bears are favored by in this game. A game where the Seahawks will most likely be missing their starting QB, all world LT, the back up LT, 2 LBs, and 1 CB. The injury report has 13 people on it. There are emergency rooms that see less people on a Friday night when Great White is playing a concert in town. The Bears only have 6 on the injury report and only 2 of those are probably going to be out for the game. The Seahawk offense will most likely be lead by the undersized, gremlin tattooed Seneca Wallace, who is (believe it or not) ok with an 83.0 career QB rating. But with a week line up front, look for him to be scrambling towards Bear LBs who only do one thing really well: hit scrambling QBs.

Just wrap your arms around my Pigskin Thoughts Homies!

When I see a spread so low with so many indicators pointing the other way, it spooks me. Luckily, I’m only the seeing a ghost kind of scared and not naked Bea Arthur peeping frightened (although I love me some Golden Girls. Blanche is a freak). I know it’s tough to play in rain city w/ their 12th man flaggy flag, but, don’t over think it. Bears win easy!

Final Score: BEARS 24 SEAHAWKS 10

You're not daydreaming Homeboy...It's just the magic at Insideplays!

October 4, 2009

Sunday Funday Luv & Ladies

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 5-0 ats...100%
NFL 5-0 - NCAA 0-0 - Teasers 0-0 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

Just like our friend, when ur sitting at 5-0 ATS on the season, everywhere you walk the wind just blows through ur hair!

Coach Kubiak, Matt Shaub, and the organization needs this win more than a Kardashian needs a big black semi-famous roller rod-coaster. Seriously Homeboys, this coaching staff is walking on thin ice and Kristy Alley just saw a snow drift of coconut flakes tossed w/ powdered sugar on the surface.

Two Tuddies and 150 yards from the best WR in the game!

No need for X’s & O’s today beeatches, Andre Johnson, Mario Williams, & Steve Slaton tear it up like T.T. Boy at a backyard BBQ with happy endings in Van Nuys. As for Oakland, even though everyone on the squad knows JaMisscus Russell is beyond awful, Cable is forced to play him because Lord Sidious (aka Al ole diva Davis) doesn't know a thing about pigskin anymore. Throw-in a banged-up O-Line and a D that’s already thinking of where they can go next year (I call it “thinkin’ like Chris Bosh”), and I fully expect a win close to the number of times Winnie Cooper graced my imaginative thoughts as a youngster.

This pick will make you look pretty today!

Just like the majority of Chicagoans didn’t realize Mayor Daley put the full-court press on the Olympics once he was told it was the only way to save his spot & reputation, Oakland is putting out shiznit that make it seem like they’re turning the corner...but the Raiders are the biggest joke in sports since Master P was actually given a NBA roster invite. This will be a blow-out…and no need to thank me when you head to halftime up double-digits.

Final Score: TEXANS 34 RAIDERS 10

And now...

After making amends to all last week, this week I plan on making you say “Amen”, because all are welcome to profit at the Holy House of Da Yeker. Sustained for a week on Stoli, Orange Crush, and 2 lbs. of beef stick, I have produced the following for your entertainment purposes only.

Da Yeker is positioned for another big week!


One of the great things about living in the wonderful City of Chicago, despite wasting $100 million to come in 4th place on a bid to host a bunch of foreigners to play handball and trampoline, is that I get to see the Northeast’s tomorrow weather today. It’s like I’m all Donnie Darko sans bunny suit. Alright that’s a half truth; I only wear the bunny suit head though. Don’t hate my semi-Furry lifestyle.

Ok, ok, back to the weather. Let me tell you it’s been raining here for the past two days in constant nasty sputters. Just enough to make everything soggy, mushy, and alcoholic supportive. According to my meteorological studies, it’s supposed to be the same in Foxboro, MA for Saturday and Sunday with on and off showers throughout the game. While it won’t be monsooning during the game, it will be less than perfect conditions for NFL ball-chucking offensive football. My postulate for these conditions is the team that wins this game will be the one that runs and defends better. Now whose team is that, Joe Flacco’s or Tom Brady Bundchen’s? Let’s look at the numbers.The Ravs are the 5th best rushing team in the league averaging 158.7 yds/gm with 2 RBs averaging over 60 yds/gm. New England is 17th in the league averaging 108.0 yds/gm with their best RB Fred Taylor averaging only 58.7 yds. On top of that, the Pats best short pass catcher, Wes Welker, is Questionable for the game with an achy knee, which means even if he plays, expect him half of a step slow and no replacement for the run.

Just like our friend, Joey Flacco has the lanky frame that makes life easy in the NFL!

Now for the second part of the postulate, the D. The Ravs are the #1 rush D in the league and the #18 pass D. The Pats are the #10 rush D and #6 pass D with their key lich pin Vince Wilfork Questionable and their Defensive Rookie of the Year LB Jared Mayo (4 parts oil, one egg, whipped) Doubtful for the game. My sources point to Willie showing Mayo how to dig down on a buffet at Sizzler Saturday night, so no need for shoulder pads Sunday for either. While the Pats might have the better overall D, their injuries and run protection will make them worse on Sunday.

Based on all this, look for a less than photogenic game where the Ravs run well, the Ravs stop the run well, and Brady promises to name his son Reed, if Baltimore limits their picks to 3. Take the Ravs and the points.

Final Score: RAVENS 24 PATRIOTS 14

(If you’re jonesin’, play the UNDA @ 44.5 also)

Anyone who hangs out w/ Carlton is perfect in my book!


The game of week, boys and degenerates. I know that J-E-T-S have one the best Ds in the league under the son of the progenitor of the 46 D, which makes him like the post-progenitor. I’m a Latin scholar like that. Despite their skill and pedigree, one just has to look at the injury report to realize they should just go ahead and mark this up as their 1st loss of the season. They have 3 CBs on that list, 2 definite Outs and 1 Probable with a Hami, and 2 Ss as Probable, both with leggy type owies. Who are the facing? The #1 rated QB in the league, Drew “Moley Mole” Brees, at home indoors with his full complement of receivers expected to start. Raise Vonnegut’s ghost ‘cuss I want to compare the number of bombs in this game to Dresden in 45.

Final Score: JETS 13 SAINTS 30

Have a Sunday that would make Hank Baskett smile!

October 10, 2009


GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 6-1 ats...86%
NFL 6-0 - NCAA 0-1 - Teasers 0-0 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

My Homeboy Stevie is MFin overdue to tear shiznit up!

...and Btw, Cora is overdue for an interview at!

This one is way too easy for this undefeated professional pigskin baller. The Skins suck worse than a teeth-dragger w/ granny panties, while Carolina is off a bye week w/ some offensive talent that is way overdue.

Unlike the Redskins, her skin is MFin flawless!

Jason Campbell is just about average when he has confidence, but after plenty of hatred from the DC faithful and a coach waiting for a pink slip, this has disaster written all over it.

Don't spazz out girl, just like u, Carolina will be wearin' home-whites!

The Panthers are due, Jake DelSPAZZholme will eventually stop throwing to opposing DBs, and Stevie Smith & D-Will have too many crazy skills not to remind people Carolina has been pretty solid the last few years…plus, Jason Campbell sucks.


and now...

I just got back from my man SJQ’s 1st B-day where I only gave him one bit of advice on the rest of life: Don’t trust your Uncle Yeker on anything except NFL ATS. I’ve got my order into Wing Street so let's lay down some info before I clog da let's roll u crazy degenerates!

Bet this cat if you want...but Da Yeker knows he's in for more than a lil trouble dropping back against Da Steelers!

I know the Lions won a game this year, but I just feel bad every time I think about them. How does this team resemble an NFL organization? Are there actually people left in Detroit to watch them? Honestly, the League needs to hold an expansion draft for this team. They’ve only covered the spread 1 time this year, and that resulted in their first win in 19 tries. This week the Lions play a hungry Steelers team that needs to win to keep pace in the AFC Northizzle.

BTW, Da Yeker asked for pictures of the star from The Program (Omar Epps) and Olivia Wilde...and I gave him one.

My man Omar Epps will be taking the week off from shooting episodes of House and making out with my girl Olivia Wilde just to make sure his team is studied up on diagnosing ways to beat the Lions. By the way, the Lions will most likely be lead by the inferno man himself, Daunte Culpepper. He was awesome Madden 2001. It’s going to be an ugly game with a cover by the Steelers.

Just like our friends, the way these teams attack the opposition Da Yeker is expecting pleny of scoring on Sunday!

Me calling this game is a case of greed on my part. Ravens will focus on stopping Cedric Benson. Yeah, you heard me: Focus on stopping Cedric Benson. That’s going to open up my man Ochocinco who is playing against an inferior CB. Baltimore won’t be shabby on changing scoreboard numbers either.

Like our girl, watch the Jags barely skate to a victory!

Seattle is still almost as banged up as certain video titles on display at Redtube. They will be out 6 starters this week. The Jags showed new swagger and stayed healthy in a good ole’ fashion game of whup@ss last week against the Titans. Even if the Jags running doesn’t get going, David Frenchname will have extra time to pass with DE Patrick Kerney not starting for Seattle. Take the points, degenerates.

And just like Greggy G's underrated sweetheart...
...just cause Insideplays hasn't been working as much lately, doesn't mean we're still not the MFin shiznit!

October 18, 2009


GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 6-5 ats...55%
NFL 6-2 - NCAA 0-2 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

While Tony Gonzalez will have the success early, look for Mr. Roddy White to have some fun just before you head to bed!

Sorry Fellas, but while some things are hard to cover, ATL's line againt my beloved is not one of them

For a cat that luvs Da Coach, Jay Cutler, nationally televised night games featuring his favorite team, and Asian adult film stars, you know I’m 100% ATS committed when I’m rolling with a Bears opponent. The Falcons offense is more diverse than Aurora Snow in My Sister’s Hot Friend 4, and the Chicago D just doesn’t have any playmakers in the secondary and sports a pedestrian DT rotation with Israel Idonijie out of commission with a bum knee. While I hope I’m wrong, I have a feeling Jay “Jerk-Face, but I luv him” Cutler doesn’t have the weapons to keep pace on the scoreboard against a balanced Hotlanta attack at home. (BTW, why do I always think of a stripper named "Cocktail" everytime I write the word "Hotlanta"?)

Final Score: BEARS 20 FALCONS 31

Come on DelSpazzHomme...just drink some water, relax, and have some fun today!

...cause it's just a day at the beach againt the Bucs!

While Jake DelSpazzholmme squeaked out a win against the lowly Redskins, believe it or not, the Panthers are riding a ”we saved our season after the bye week and believe we’re still frickin good”-mojo and the inkling they can right a sinking ship with contests against the Suckaneers & bumbling Bills the next two weeks. Throw-in a Tampa QB that might be the most unknown signal-caller in the last decade, and I can’t see how DeAngelo Williams & Stevie Smith don’t dominate against a defense that is already playing youngsters for next year.


And now,
While Da Yeker has been laying in the weeds, today I expect his sometimes sorry-azz to break-out with the magic!

Alright, alright, let’s get this out of the way. Last week I sucked. I now know how it feels to play for the Raiders. But this week, I’m coming back with more analysis than places to tuck a buck at the local lingerie show. I guarantee that you will not be picking me last to be on your handicapping them after this week.

Just like our friend, Da Yeker is done being depressed and just laying in bed because this OVA is just too MFin pretty!

For all of us who watched the Browns play a game of grab @ss with the Bills last week, I think the NFL officially owes us an apology and a firing of Dick Jauron. That game set NFL offense back by 100 years. I’m pretty sure the total scores from each of the MLB playoff games this week were higher. While I’m no fan of Manggenius, he does know offense and you can be sure that was the focus of Brown’s practice this week. On top of that, I know the Steelers can score and also aren’t all that good at stopping other people from doing it this year. Hell, they let Daunte Culpepper and the Lions put up 20 on them last week. I know the Hair Polamalu is back this week, but 38 is just too low of an Ova to turn away from. Sit back and root for the points.

Final Score: BROWNS 17 STEELERS 28

When Da Yeker is thinking dead-sexy, that usually means he's grabbing the Jergins and thinkin' Caprice...or Rex Ryan

The Jets have hit the skids the past two weeks like a background extra in Rad (Greg Gamble’s favorite movie). What’s the best solution to get back on track, play the Buffalo Bills at home, of course. The weather is expected to be sloppy, which will play into the Jets game plan of wanting to run the ball and to play hard nose D. As for the Bills, see my commentary above with the added note that they have absolutely no LB core. J-E-T-S easy winners tomorrow.

Final Score: BILLS 10 JETS 30

The Sunday Funday Shirt O the Day Homeboys...take it light!

October 25, 2009


GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 9-5 ats...64%
NFL 8-2 - NCAA 1-2 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

Just like our friend, relax this Sunday Funday and wait for a gift for the Gamblin' Gods this evening...

...cause this lil cat in the ugly red sweater is gonna roll late night like I rolled game at DQ without a Driver's License!

Trust me Homeboys, it's cold, Kurt's old, the Cards aren't traveling for the playoffs, and Crazy Coughlin is comming off a loss...I feel like the day I saw Punky Brewster made into an adult film...really MFin Happy! G-Men in a blow-out.

Final Score: CARDINALS 16 GIANTS 37

Listen Fellas, while DA YEKER has sucked this season, I have a feeling he's turing the MFin corner...or he's fired!
Btw, this pic represents at a crossroads deciding if Da Yeker is worth keeping...if ur confused, just think of the chair as the crossroads

I’ll tell you my fellow degenerates, my last 2 weeks ATS have wrecked my psyche. After last Sunday’s performance, I sat down and formulated a new training schedule and diet to get me back up to the Inside Plays tradition. I’m happy to say that my circuit training of forearm twists and a macrobiotic diet of Popov and pork rinds from the local bodega appears to be paying off. I punished myself yesterday by putting my skills to test in an all out 3 MAC game challenge. After watching hours of bad football that looked less athletic than Shannon Tweed dry humping on SkinaMax circa 1994, my skills are back with a 3 for 3 showing to prove it.

Jigga wat’? Jigga money winning NFL plays, that’s wat’:
You know DA YEKER knows something special if he thinks this cat is gonna help him win some dolla dolla bills!

Just rewind my winning comments from last week. The Steelers know how to score and can’t stop any team from doing it on them. 4 of their 6 games have had combined scores over 40 points. The games of their opponent this week, the Minnesota Favres, have topped the 40 point total score amount 6 out of 6 games this year. Minnesota will be down its best CB in Antoine Winfield. While I can’t confirm whether he Yankee great Dave Winfield’s love childe, I can tell you that it looks good for Brett Roethlisbigassname who has already thrown for a league leading 1,887 yards. This spells a sit back & root for pts situation.

Final Score: VIKINGS 30 STEELERS 33

Here's an idea u lil wanna be QB superstar, start ballin like former Charger star Babe Laufenberg cause that'll mean...

...he's actually knocking it in the hole!
(I have no idea what that means, but I like this picture)

San Diego may have just watched its division championship hopes disappear last week at the hands of the Cowboy Kyle Orton. The rough faced Turner brother has to get his team a win this week to keep his job. Shawne Merriman doesn’t have a sack yet this season and he’s facing a team this week with a QB named Matt Cassell who has been dumped on his head the 2nd most times in the league this season at 19. All this spells a good chance that I might get to see my favorite retro-player Brodie Brodie Croyle. Lay the points against the home dog, ATS homeboys.

Final Score: CHARGERS 34 CHIEFS 17
Just like I think happy thoughts bout whip-cream everytime I see her face, I think winning dollars when DA YKER picks Carolina

So if you were like the Yeker last week and watched the season debut of Bills backup QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, you were privy to some awesome high school throwing skills. The Harvard Man is expected to be the signal caller again this week with a hungry state schooler playing on the other side the ball in Julius Peppers. The Bills are also playing back to back road games with the worst rush defense in the league going against a top 10 rush offense in the Panthers. Hell, Carolina executed a game winning 80-yard drive that consisted of 15 rushes and 1 pass last week. Not even the Cajun Interceptee Delhomme can screw the win up this week (he’ll still try though).

Final Score: BILLS 10 PANTHERS 24

Don't look dazed's just Sunday Funday!

October 31, 2009


GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 9-7 ats...56%
NFL 8-3 - NCAA 1-3 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%

In honor of Ray-Ray and the Ravens off the bye week...

...nuttin's better then this!

What else do say Homeboys...Baltimore wins easier then TT Boy at birthday party with back-tats!

Final Score: BRONCOS 13 RAVENS 27

Pink lingerie & Greggy G on Sunday morn...what else u need?

(Let's go Yeker, ur MFin do for a run!)

Man, I love Halloween night. It’s the only time of year that girls don’t find it weird that I want to wear my plushy bunny head to bed. Why am I so misunderstood for the other 364?
If you degenerates didn’t get your fill of horror shows yesterday, you can always tune into the Rams at Lions. That’s sure to frighten away any resemblance of a professional football game.
Here are my All Saint’s Days plays. Get you’re @ss to church and make some green, heathens.

Flawless...just like the Wildcat versus the Jets!

While I prefer to keep most of my feline fantasies about my girl Cheetara from the ThunderCats, I’m started to get a semi watching the Dolphins run the Ronnie Brown and Ricky Rasta Williams WildCat O. This week, they’ll be running it in a grudge match against the NY J-E-T-S, who are mad at a week 5 Monday night last seconds loss. Too bad the Jets have a subpar rush D that is giving up 117 yards per game on average. With 3 of the Jets WRs are questionable for the game, look for Rex BigPants to have his offense also heavily focused on the run. This sets up for a tight score of a game. When games are going to be close, it’s all the better to have the free points, and thus, “Miami has the Dolphins, the greatest football team”.
BTW, the Dolphins’ website has a medical glossary for all us Hippocraticly inept degenerates. Oddly there’s no listing on the medicinal use of marijuana.

Final Score: DOLPHINS 24 JETS 21

These two are due and Bear D sucks, so...

If you watch the Bears as much as the Yeker, you must be one sorry sorry SOB. You also know the Bears can’t even get their LBs and secondary to put together a D that looks like anything more than the sandlot version of guys pointing their fingers and saying “I got that guy:” Cleveland isn’t much better. Look for the teams combined D F’Ups to more than help the offense overcome this low Ova.

Final Score: BROWNS 14 BEARS 30

She must luv the Cardinals wearing colors like dis!

My analysis of this game is not a classic one of “have nots”, but of “haves”. And, the Carolina Panthers still have the Cajun Interceptee Delhomme under center. He single handedly kept them out of the game against the Bills last week at home. That’s the definition of “suck” in Merriam Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary. Carolina is going to have to recommit to the run this week. Sounds smart. Oh but wait, there on the road against the Arizona Cardinals who have the best run D in the League, only allowing an average of 67.5 yards per game. Old Kurt is going to be getting some spiky hair fem-mullet love after this game.


Just like Marisa is a lil older than most top models, Favre gets done even with a lil grey in the afternoon shadow!

It’s the game of week, as if ESPN has not been pounding that into your head all week. This one is actually an easy one to pick. Drop all your misconceived notions that the Pack will be playing with super emotion that will make them beat Favre. What they will be playing with is probably the worst O Line in the NFL. They can’t block for the run and they can’t stop the pass rush. Aaron Rodgers has been dumped on his head for a League leading 25 times. Even, my booze addled brain would feel some pain from that. On the other side of the ball, the Viks lead the League with 25 sacks on opposing QBs. I don’t think Berkley will ever claim Rodgers as a grad after the concussions his bound to get in this game. All Favre has to do is stick to handing off to the human truck A.P. and not let the game get him too juiced to throw. I think he knows that too. All this and you get points.

Final Score: VIKINGS 28 PACKERS 14

Jarah wishes you a wonderful Sunday Funday Fellas!

November 8, 2009

Home of Greggy's 75% ATS Winners on NFL

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 10-8 ats...56%
NFL 9-3 - NCAA 1-4 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

Ur tellin me someone in da Bears secondary is gonna stop Larry?

Cause just like our friend, Fitz's body of work is simply flawless!

The Bears O-Line might be the worst in football, while their defense is extremely pedestrian. Throw-in an Arizona squad coming off on ugly home-loss, and I expect the Kurt Warner & Co. to light-up the scoreboard while the Chi-Town struggles to keep pace!

Final Score: CARDS 31 BEARS 20

And Now...
Da Yeker is on the road to SF in the NM this week to pick up some turquoise and marry off one of his long time and few friends (kinda what you get when you spend all day drinking Stoli, eating wings, and watching Al Toon’s greatest catches on DVD). If my picks seem better than usual, that’s just the added value that peyote brings.

While Benson had some rough moments while in Chicago, I can't believe the grief he received for enjoying a boat ride!

Cause anytime ur near the beach or water, good things can happen!

Just an FYI, a good rule of thumb is to make sure your feet are not too sandy before jumping on a friend's boat!

On paper, this game looks like it’s going to be as good to watch as Where the Boys Aren’t 4 was (Lived up and let down my hype). The teams are fairly evenly matched, with oddly the Bengals having the better ranked D and the Ray Rays having the better O. Baltimore is coming off a big win in handing the Denver Ortons their 1st lost of the season, and the Bengals are just getting off their double BYE week (I’m counting the Sunday they played the Bears as a non-workday). This will be a close game with harder hits than PacMan Jones at a Las Vegas strip club and an equal number of make it rain plays. When you see things line up for a tight game and there is a home dog, take the points.

Final Score: RAVENS 24 BENGALS 23

She could be considered a Hot-lanta girl if those green tassels on her side were dolla bills and she had a tat on her neck!

TD.jpg know what I'm saying Roddy?!

The ‘Skins are competing to be one of the worst teams in football along with the Raiders and Browns. Both of those latter teams are on BYE this week, so I cannot choose against them (even though their starting teams will probably lose to the training squads in their practices). That leaves me with the opportunity to pick against the only team in the league with an offensive coordinator/head coach, Jim Zorn, who is not allowed to call his own plays. That responsibility goes to Sherm Lewis, who is only attempting that feat for the 2nd game in his career. The 1st was last week when the O only was able to put up 17 points against the Eagles. Atlanta is coming of a hard loss to their division rival, the Saints. They’re playing at home in the dome and need a win to keep in the playoff zone. Look for Atlanta to bust more end zone dance moves than Da Yeker did at his 1st Freakneck. Big shout out to my girl LaTonya. Hey Girl.

Final Score: REDSKINS 10 FALCONS 35

It is usually pretty good odds to take the unda when this suddenly awful QB is on the gridiron!

On a side note, I luv the Panthers team colors!

Alright, this game can only go 1 of 2 ways: either it’s a close game with a well executed rushing attack by the Panthers that burns a lot of clock or it’s a blow out where New Orleans scores all the points themselves and intercepts the hell out of Jake Delhomme. Both options do not add up to 52 points. I’m betting on the former option after seeing what the Panthers did on the ground last week on the road against what was the #1 ranked D in the league. Also look for Drew the Mole to have at least one vicious pick against an underrated secondary.

Final Score: PANTHERS 14 SAINTS 24

I wouldn't say she looks like a waterbird, but she's closer to Seahawk than a Lion!

So I was at bar last week watching my beloved Bears stumble and fumble their way to a blowout win over the Cleveland Sucks. While watching and drinking my disgust at the Bears’ O line away, a nice, seemingly normal, couple came in and actually asked to watch the Lions-Rams game. After about 5 minutes of silent stares of cringing faces from the bartender, the waitress, the bar patrons, and myself, they were promptly shown to an isolated room where they could watch and not pollute the rest of us with their H1N1 football fever. After that game ended, I allowed myself a chance to glance at the box score of that game through a reflecting mirror so as not to turn into stone from fright, all stop-motion animation Clash of the Titans style. To my amazement, the De-twat (that’s the French pronouciation) Lions lost to the O challenged Rams. Seriously , they are averaging 9.6 points/game. This week that same Lions team has their same rookie QB headed 3 time zones away to play in one of the most hostile environments in the League. I’m smelling blow out as strong as the stank coming from the guy sitting next to me in coach sipping tomato juice.

Final Score: LIONS 7 SEAHAWKS 34

While I'm impressed with Orton, I miss the Krazy Kyle that was too much drinkie back in the day!

What? What? If you have been following Da Yeker this season, you know 1 thing: Pittsburgh can’t shut down anybody with a decent O. They have had total scores over 40 points for 5 of their 7 games. The Broncos are averaging 20 points/game and the Steelers are putting up 23.9/game themselves. Plus, playing in that mountain air always wears down Ds, especially DBs, before the O notices any effects. Imagine running balls out breathing through a straw having to catch up to human bullets for at least 30 minutes. That’s what it’s like to play DB in a game at a mile high. I don’t get it. Maybe this is a Vegas trick play, but I’m not going to over think it. Root for the points, degenerates.

Final Score: STEELERS 24 BRONCOS 27

Have a great Sunday Funday Homeboys!

November 12, 2009

Thursday Night ATS Winners & Women

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 11-8 ats...58%
NFL 10-3 - NCAA 1-4 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

Samurai is back boys, but too bad it's on the wrong sideline!

And unlike our friend here & Mr. Lovie Smith, Singletary still brings the passion with his eyes!

While everyone from Da Bear beat-writers to the watering-hole wannabe GMs have bashed every aspect of the organization for more than a month, I’m amazed how many of these cats still thought Lovie Smith’s aging and talent-deprived squad had a legitimate shot on the Lakefront against Arizona. I guess they’re not that crazy since Vegas opened the best gambling line since David Spade’s was 456,542 to 1 to bag 10 of the top 100 chicks in America. When I saw the Bears open as a three point favorite last week, I took the entire week off to sell my girl’s shiznit at “Cash-4-Gold” and rummage through the sofa cushions for spare change. And today, I almost feel as confident as I did last week with the ineptness of my beloved pigskin squad.

For all the Alex Smith bashing, I always think it's fair to give youngsters a few more chances!

For all the nationwide jokes about Alex Smith as a starter on Sundays, I actually believe he’s a competent QB that can move in the pocket, can be extremely accurate when in rhythm, and knows he’ll be a permanent back-up if he continues to force the ball into the danger zones. Now I’m not saying he’s Dan Marino or Babe Laufenberg, but against a Bears D devoid of playmakers, look for the former Ute to distribute the ball to the numerous soft spots in Ron Rivera’s D (oh wait, we got rid of Rivera cause Lovie was jealous) while letting Frank Gore completely dominate between the hashes.

While Frankie G can do damage even without a hole...

...he might be lucky enough to see running lanes like dis!

Speaking of the running game, Da Bears D let Beanie Wells & Tim Hightower look like Sweetness & Neal Anderson last week, and coming off a short week and the depression that has set in on the season, how can you not expect Frankie G to have a fantasy day of the ages. In addition, I guarantee Chicago puts too much emphasis on finally stopping the run, not to mention TE Vernon Davis after his comments earlier this week, so look for Michael Crabtree & Josh Smith to introduce themselves to the nation with some big plays on the outside.

What a great idea to let Rivera go...that really worked out!

And just once Lovie, show me some passion in those eyes!

As for the Bears on offense, does it really matter if your QB has star potential when the line can’t open a single hole for the running game and is loaded with #3 WRs and a TE that can’t block. Throw-in a coaching advantage for the 49ers where Samurai Mike continues to bring the passion and the players know he’ll back…while an emotionless Lovie Smith seems to have lost a squad that knows his days may be numbered. Wish I had better news for ya Bear fans, but this could get ugly again.

Final Score: BEARS 13 49ERS 27


November 15, 2009


GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 12-9 ats...57%
NFL 11-3 - NCAA 1-5 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

You know why she's smilin? She also got a free TD to watch...

...Mr. Garrard casually rolls into NY and win-outright!

Just like your first prom date dive, not too many hairs to split between these two teams. The main difference, one has a veteran QB that's extremely consistent and underrated. The other has a mistake prone rookie who likes mustard on his weiner. Once again, this seems too easy this week...I'll take a free tuddie even though the Jags don't need it!

Final Score: JAXVILLE 27 JETS 23
That's all for Greggy G...but luckily Da Yeker is here for more picks!

As the weather starts to regress down the thermometer, so does Da Yeker into the hovel he calls home. Despite my hobbit like living, it only spells goodness for readers of the Plays, since all I do now is stare intently at injury reports and bootleg game tape I make with my cell phone camera at bars with the Ticket Package.
Here’s what my shut in science has produced this week:

While Vince has changed the the style, the fastest RB in the world is the biggest reason the Titans are winning again!

Chris J...faster than a speeding bullet or a coed on a RV!

It’s a battle of the not so good versus the even worse. If you asked me tell you which is which, I wouldn’t be able to do it. I do know that since their BYE the bearded Jeff Fisher’s Titans are playing similar to the team we saw last year, racking up 2 home wins in a row against bad teams in SF and Jax. The Bills are every bit as bad those teams. Both teams also are also allowing a combined average of 50 points in total scoring each week.

Final Score: BILLS 21 TITANS 30

The Bengals getting a tuddie & Vegas thinking these two can't score more 10 pts a half...that's Misa in green good!

The Steelers have been hitting on all cylinders since they scraped out a home win against the Minnesota Favres. Too bad those cylinders haven’t included a strong running game, which would have made their wins less close than they have been. The team that has been running like well oiled engine has been the striped ones from Porkopolis, the Bengals. They can run, throw, and play D. They suffered a big loss this week when Chris Henry went down for the season, but his replacement is named Maurice Purify. I cannot even wordsmith a better name than that. Whoever wins this game will only do it by a field goal, so give me the points

Final Score: BENGALS 21 STEELERS 24

The Saints have a dangerous weapon at every single spot!

...and at this joint, the dangerous spot is at the Golden Tee machine!

Oh man, man. I want to believe that the Rams used their BYE to scheme up a way to lose by only 13 this week. But, after the Saints nearly blew it against the Panthers last week, I know Sean Peyton will have his crew looking for blood this week in a dome game. Look for the Saints trip up the Mississippi to be an easy one this week.

Final Score: SAINTS 36 RAMS 14

And in my opinion, with regards to the playoffs, this might be the MFin game of the day...don't u agree my pigskin friend?

San Diego has been stringing together strong wins the past 3 weeks, with a stunning pull out against the Giants in NY last week. Philly looked slow, dumb, and confused in a terrible loss to Dallas last week. Their last trip out west was probably the most amazing loss of the year by any team when they let a wretched Raiders team make them look stupid in a 24 to 16 loss. Look for more of the same in this near pick’em game. Plus, Andy Reid will spend less time game planning due extra time he will be using to scarf down multiple fish tacos thinking he’s eating healthy.

Final Score: EAGLES 28 CHARGERS 34

Just like our friend, the Pats/Colts match-up is picture perfect!

While you might think with these 2 teams playing with Manning and Brady as QBs, you would expect to see some awesome offense. However, I’ve only got one prediction for the game of the week: ALL D. Indy is #1 in the league in D and New England is #2, combining for an average of only 37 points in total score each week. I also think Indy has just enough extra step this week with NE’s S Brandon Meriweather nursing a serious foot injury.

Final Score: PATRIOTS 20 COLTS 24

November 22, 2009


GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 13-9 ats...60%
NFL 12-3 - NCAA 1-5 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

While I like volleyball, my luv is made on the carpet!

Btw, while I've been a Mike Crabtree lover for the last few years, the steal of the draft was Mr. Maclin from Mizzu!

I'm rich this NFL season because I know when to bet against an overrated D and awful O-Line...and the aging, slow cats from my hometown have both. Oh yeah, their coaches and WRs suck too. Throw-in a must win game for the Eagles, and I'm not rollin' to the dollar menu with my girl tonight...we goin' Sizzler, we goin Sizzler!

BTW, I like sandy feet and Picks from Da Yeker!

and now...
No funny preamble this week. Just a note. Thanks Charlie Cheeseburger for giving annoying Notre Dame fans nothing to brag about over the last 4 years and providing the remainder of college football fandom years of needed silence.

Just like our friend, the Bills margin for error is tight!

The Bills are 3-6 for on the year, their stuck playing their 2nd string QB, and just fired their head coach, Dick Jauron. In other words, it’s another typical Bills’ season. On the other hand, Jacksonville has moved their season into a winning one with a 5-4 record and into 2nd place in the AFC South. QB David Frenchname is also looking like he remembered that he was supposed to throw the ball for TDs instead of INTs. Look for the Jags to pound the Bills’ weak LB core with a healthy dose of Maurice Jones-Drew.

Final Score: BILLS 10 JAUGUARS 28

Just like Peyton Manning dropping back, not much missing from perfection from this quality youngster!


While you always look twice at picking an OVA when the Baltimore Ravens D gets to play. The Ray Rays D , however , is not what it used to be, and this week it will be sans their number one pass rushing thug Terrell Suggs, injured Monday night with a cheap shot from Muscle Milkman Brady Quinn. While Indy’s offense sputtered at times last Sunday night, it still had enough to make Bill Hoodie Belichick scour in disgust. Last week’s win did come at A price with this week’s injury report having 3 DBs on it. 2 of which are definite outs. Baltimore should have enough O to easily put this game into the OVA column.

Final Score: COLTS 30 RAVENS 24

Just like betting the ova when the Raiders are playing...sometimes sexy is hidden until you look closer!

36 points. That’s all these 2 teams need to get. If the Bengals don’t do it by themselves, look for the woeful Raiders to kick in a few points themselves.

Final Score: BENGALS 27 RAIDERS 14

Smile's Sunday Funday!


GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 13-9 ats...60%
NFL 12-3 - NCAA 1-5 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

While I like volleyball, my luv is made on the carpet!

Btw, while I've been a Mike Crabtree lover for the last few years, the steal of the draft was Mr. Maclin from Mizzu!

I'm rich this NFL season because I know when to bet against an overrated D and awful O-Line...and the aging, slow cats from my hometown have both. Oh yeah, their coaches and WRs suck too. Throw-in a must win game for the Eagles, and I'm not rollin' to the dollar menu with my girl tonight...we goin' Sizzler, we goin Sizzler!

BTW, I like sandy feet and Picks from Da Yeker!

and now...
No funny preamble this week. Just a note. Thanks Charlie Cheeseburger for giving annoying Notre Dame fans nothing to brag about over the last 4 years and providing the remainder of college football fandom years of needed silence.

Just like our friend, the Bills margin for error is tight!

The Bills are 3-6 for on the year, their stuck playing their 2nd string QB, and just fired their head coach, Dick Jauron. In other words, it’s another typical Bills’ season. On the other hand, Jacksonville has moved their season into a winning one with a 5-4 record and into 2nd place in the AFC South. QB David Frenchname is also looking like he remembered that he was supposed to throw the ball for TDs instead of INTs. Look for the Jags to pound the Bills’ weak LB core with a healthy dose of Maurice Jones-Drew.

Final Score: BILLS 10 JAUGUARS 28

Just like Peyton Manning dropping back, not much missing from perfection from this quality youngster!


While you always look twice at picking an OVA when the Baltimore Ravens D gets to play. The Ray Rays D , however , is not what it used to be, and this week it will be sans their number one pass rushing thug Terrell Suggs, injured Monday night with a cheap shot from Muscle Milkman Brady Quinn. While Indy’s offense sputtered at times last Sunday night, it still had enough to make Bill Hoodie Belichick scour in disgust. Last week’s win did come at A price with this week’s injury report having 3 DBs on it. 2 of which are definite outs. Baltimore should have enough O to easily put this game into the OVA column.

Final Score: COLTS 30 RAVENS 24

Just like betting the ova when the Raiders are playing...sometimes sexy is hidden until you look closer!

36 points. That’s all these 2 teams need to get. If the Bengals don’t do it by themselves, look for the woeful Raiders to kick in a few points themselves.

Final Score: BENGALS 27 RAIDERS 14

Smile's Sunday Funday!

November 29, 2009

Sunday Funday ATS Winners & Women

GREG GAMBLE'S 2009-10 PIGSKIN Picks: 14-9 ats...61%
NFL 13-3 - NCAA 1-5 - Teasers 0-1 - Lovely Ladies: 69-0
GREG GAMBLE’S 2008-09 PIGSKIN Picks: 68-44 ats...61%
NFL 28-19 - NCAA 20-15 - Teasers 20-10 - Lovely Ladies 69-0

Attention Degenerate Gamblers! Time to call your guy cause...

...Dennis Dixon doesn't look as scary outside of Eugene, OR!

Do I really need to explain how desperate the Ravens are and how overwhelmed Mr. Dixon will be on Sunday Night...seriously, I'm hitting my NFL picks on an 81% clip so just chalk this up as a victory!

Final Score: STEELERS 13 RAVENS 27

Oh...btw, I totally believe Tiger never slept with this chick...
...and I'm confident his wife bashed the SUV windows with a golf club to save his life from an accident in his driveway!

I know Da Yeker has been creating hate mail messages for Greg Gamble throughout the season, but don’t worry playas as I’m still at 500 and looking to dominate this week. Nothing can stop me after gaining inspiration from my roots in watching another great Bayou Classic followed up with a 16 hour marathon session of BCFX on the 360. Man, Da Yeker was born to be a drumline major. FAMU Rattlers strike. Here are my Doug Williams mentored picks of the week:

She's looking for an actually ATS winner from Da Yeker!

Da Yeker may be calling a prediction for this game, but he also highly recommends not watching it since it will most likely result in permanent loss of NFL enjoyment. This game is another tale of injuries as the Rams will be racked with serious ones this week: QB Marc Bulger Out to be replaced by Kyle Boller, RB Steven Jackson a Questionable game time decision, FB Mike Karney Questionable, and 2 starting OLs extremely Questionable. The Rams have shown improvement since their Bye by getting their running attack up to speed. With that list of injuries above, however, look for it to be shifting into reverse for at least this game. The Seahawks might be only playing for pride now, but they are playing for the 1st time this season with all 53 men on their active roster available.

Final Score: SEAHAWKS 24 RAMS 13

While the home whites are nice, Da Yeker likes Carolina on the road!

Da Yeker gets 3 free points in a game that’s going to be a match-up of who runs the ball better, the opposing team will be starting Mark Dirty Sanchez who likes to throw interceptions, and an extremely underrated, athletic Panthers secondary. No more analysis needed.

Final Score: PANTHERS 24 RAMS 17

For some reason this reminds me of Mangino...
...kinda looks like a man, but is a complete bitich!

It’s a battle for Ohio with two polar opposites playing in it. The Browns are awful with a head coach that is nearly not allowed at practices anymore for fear that the players will dump him on his head. They did finally find an offense last week by starting the Muscle Milkman Brady Quinn, but, most of those points were courtesy of an awful Lions D. The Bengals were playing well last week until they hit a road bump in the form of the Oakland Raiders. If the Bengals win this game, they will go undefeated in their Division, which pretty much will clench them a playoff berth. Look for their D lead by Dhani “Reality Star” Jones to step up big against an inferior Browns O. As for the possibility of the Yachtsman Ced Benson not playing this week, the Brown’ Shaun Rodgers is Questionable for the game having missed practice each day this week. Even if he plays, look for the Bengals RBs still to be able to take advantage of his injuries.

Final Score: BROWNS 10 BENGALS 30


Chris Cooley Out, DeAngelo Hall Out, Clinton Portis Out, Albert Haynesworth Questionable (Did not play last week). If you see what I’m seeing, the Redskins most likely will not have one of their star players in the game this week. The woeful Washington O has not scored over 17 points on the road this year. The Eagles lost Brian Westbrook and Kevin Curtis two weeks ago, but it didn’t make difference last week with the duo of Scottish rookies LeSean McCoy and Jeremy Maclin more than filling in for their down team mates. Look for another week of no scoring from the Redskins with their offensive consultant Herm Edwards and plenty of explosive plays penned up by the jump suited one, Andy Reid.

Final Score: RACIAL SLURS 13 EAGLES 34

While I luv a girl who wears a Chief thong, I still got to roll the other way when playing the number!

Another example of two polar opposite teams comes to us from the Left Coast this week. KC did their best ” little injun that could” imitation last week by shocking the League with a win over the Steelers. While that may give them an ego boost, KC is still bad bad with QB Matt Cassell having been sacked 37 times and hit 65 times on the season. With that kind of beating, you should go ahead and hire Bill Cosby to do a commercial about the contents of your skull. When these teams played in KC earlier in the season, the Chargers beat the Chiefs by 30 points. Look for the rough faced Norv Turner to coach his team to a similar victory this week. After all, Norv is the talented of the Turner brothers. Well, at least outside the playoffs.

Final Score: CHIEFS 14 CHARGERS 34

September 12, 2010

Da Yeker's Week 1 NFL ATS Winners

***With Greggy G still in Witness Protection, his protege Da Yeker will be running the show...but just in case you were curious, Mr. Gamble loves the Bengals (+5)!

Watch as these two Divas start-out Greggy G undefeated!

After last year’s performance, Da Yeker locked himself up in his hovel like the Lohan in the LA County pokie, where I’m sure she got plenty of that. All I did for the spring and summer was play NFL films on a continuous loop and practice talking like Ocho Cinco. I now piss excellence. Seriously, my only friends these last few months have been Ukrainian chat girls looking for an Americanski husband. Silly girls don’t know they no the way to my heart is not through borscht but breaking down the inferiority of a 3-4 in a rain storm.
It’s Week 1 in the NFL, and Week 1 sounds a lot like weak lines, which is what I’m here to break down for all my degenerates out there. Read up like its Ms. Homan’s 1st period!

Just like our friends here, the Dolphins will look just as sweet outside of Miami!

C.J. Spiller. Let me repeat that, C.J. Spiller. That’s the entire Bills roster that’s qualified to play NFL football. The GM for the Bills was wrong last year about people wanting to coach his team. Most people would rather coach the Raiders over that collection of NFL Punt Pass and Kick talent. Here’s my rhyme reminder for the memory deficient: Bills got no skillz. Remember it all year long.
Final Score: Dolphins 24 Bills 10

In Week 1, just like my boy Tom Bunchen Brady is at banging hot model actresses, O has all the luck. (BTW did you check out Brady’s hair this week, he’s got a mane that looks like da Yeker’s. No wonder he walked away from his car crash unscathed). The only hiccup to this rule is if a team’s O did not click in the preseason. Both of these teams looked like machines in their mandatory scrimmages. Expect more of the same this week.
Final Score: Bengals 27 Patriots 35

Not much work needed for this Ova!

Rewind my statements from above. And, I know what you’re saying the Raiders can’t score. Oh but on the contrary, their new upgrade at QB Jason Campbell, downgraded from the Redskins, will give them a solid 10 pts per game average this year. That’s 10 points of Black Hole Thunder. Hey, that’s the name of one my favorite movies.
Final Score: Raiders 14 Titans 30

This is exactly the type of game you look for in Week 1. Both teams are evenly matched with one team willing to run it more and one wanting to pass it more. Remember boys and degenerates this is the modern NFL where passing equals winning and running equals quick games. The Jags CB Aaron Kampman is also playing his 1st game with a surgically repaired knee. Look for a close game where taking points will guarantee an ATS win.
Final Score: Ortons 23 Jags 21

I wonder if Iron Mike was wearing these when he last gave his Pant's Droppin' motivational speech?

It’s a conference showdown Week 1. The team that wins it, will be the one that understands the importance of that. The team that knows that is the one whose coach emphasizes it. Let’s look at the coaches: LA fly by night, buy better talent Carroll or Drop my pants, show my ass to grow men Singletary. I’m choosing the later. Plus expect Patrick Willis to dump old, baldy Hassellbeck on his head like at least 2 times.
Final Score: Pants Droppers 28 Seahawks 17

Sunday Funday is back Homeboys...
...and hopefully Greggy G joins the party again soon!

September 19, 2010

Sunday Funday ATS Picks...and Hotties

Just like my girl Jarah...9117.jpg
...have a smile on your face, it's MFin Sunday Funday!

Before we roll to Da Yeker's picks, I should tell you one thing. HAIL TO THE CHIEFS! Anytime Greggy G invests his Amsterdam money against his favorite QB (Seneca MFin Wallace), you know you should jump on board. CHIEFS MONEYLINE (+140) FOR ME!

And with that...
...just like my girl says, Less Talk more Picks!

Hey playas!!! If you followed Da Yeker in Week 1 you came out with a few ducats in your pocket to put towards the purchase of a new Kia Spectra. But that’s not good enough for Da Yeker. I want make it so you can roll like a Forte father, marry the one you want and kick out kids with the ex. Here are the plays that will get you on Maury in no time.

Don't let him fool you...he's gonna be huge today!

Two words: Home Dog. Those are two of the most important words for degenerates to remember. Probably, second only to “I’m wasted” from the girl next to you at a ladies night. The Ravens won an emotional one on Monday night and Batman Owens and Robin Ocho Cinco suffered a beat down at the hands of pretty, pretty Tom Brady. I guarantee Cincy used the extra day of practice to scheme up ways at the very least to keep it close to the Joe Flacco, Delaware’s finest, lead Ravens O.
Final Score: RAY RAYS 20 BENGALS 28

Unlike our bad girl, our Ravens bad-boy ain't winning today!

Both teams were big winners in Week 1 with the Titans recreating against the Raiders and the Steelers playing the little engine that could against the Falcons. The Steelers are living on borrowed time with Rothliesbig@assname still suspended for….for… well being a big@sshole. Look for Chris Johnson to run all over the 3-4 the crew from the Pitt are going to try to throw up. Frick, he might get 37 on his own.
Final Score: STEELERS 14 TITANS 30

I'd rather blow a dude than watch this game...ok, maybe not

Yes you read that right, I am telling you to bet that both the Raiders and the Rams can put up at 38 points. Am I sniffing glue? Yes. But that’s not affecting my decision. Both teams Ds are banged up with the Rams having 6 on the Injury List and the Raiders having 7 on that same list, except in Oakland they call it “I don’t really feel like playing football this week because I play for the Raiders” List. Look for Emperor Palpatine lord over an offensive Dethstar explosion between the two teams.
Final Score: RAMS 20 RAIDERS 24

I don't think it's a stretch to see a Pats blowout!

Did you see Mark Sanchez play Monday night? Did you see Tom Brady play Sunday? All the experts I read this week said the Jets O needs to open it up this week. With Sanchez at QB, they need to add “to an @ss whupin” to the end of that advice. The Jets also lost NT Kris Jenkins who was the anchor of their defense and have been inundated with press scrutiny over Locker Room Gate. BTW, I totally believe it’s a cultural thing with the way the Mexican TV reporter Inez Sainz dressed to go into the locker room. I’m going to celebrate that tradition by wearing nothing but sombrero while watching this game on Sunday.
Final Score: PATS 40 JETS 13

October 24, 2010

NFL ATS Locks from Da Yeker

Hey ladies and degenerates!!!! I’m doing this week’s picks like Old Man Favre: Just quick pics of my junk sent direct.



14 is 2 TDs and 2 extra points. That is also the almost exact number of points the Browns are averaging this year per game. They are @ss. Let me repeat that. They are @ss. The Saints, on the other hand, are the defending Superbowl champs and playing at home.

Final Score: Browns 10 Saints 30



The Washington Redskins have been off the mark in the passing game all year. The Chicago Bears can’t give Jay Cutler more than a 1 step drop before he gets dumped on his head. Oh, it’s also probably going to be raining. This all means run, run, run, at least if Lovie Smith wants to keep his job. Quick, ugly, sloppy game, and easy unda.

Final Score: Redskins 14 Bears 17

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